The Honor Due from Children, Chapter 3
CHAP. III. Of Honour in ſpeciall due to Parents, and that in a direct way, and therein of Honour of reſpect and love due to Parents.
HAving ſpoken of Honour in generall, required by the 5. Commandement, from Children to Parents, we come now to ſpeak of Honour in ſpeciall due to them: & firſt of that which is in a direct way: and therein according to the Method propounded in the firſt Chapter. 1. Of Honour of reſpect and love due to Parents; that Honour is ſo taken in Scripture we there gave Scripture inſtances, That honour of reſpect to Parents is due, proved.and need not now repeat them: we may then note as a branch of the general point, That Children are bound to Honour their Parents, with the Honour of choyceſt reſpect and love. Honour thy Father and Mother, ſaith Exod. 20. 12. But having them in choyceſt reſpect and love is Honouring of them, ſay other Scriptures, therfore Children muſt moſt highly reſpect and love their Parents. For our better handling of this branch of Honour, let us only ſhew wherein this commanded reſpect and love to Parents doth conſiſt, or what is required of Children in this, that they are required ſo highly to reſpect and love their Parents, and then afterwards apply it by way of uſe.
To the former we anſwer, that Children,
1. They are to be delighted greatly in their This reſpect conſiſteth 1. In delighting Parents.Fathers preſence, to be much affected with the very ſight of a Father or Mother. See how Joſeph plotteth to have his Father near him, when he could not be ſo near his Father, Gen. 45. 10. Thou ſhalt be near to me, &c. And when he commeth to the ſight of his Father, after ſome years inforced abſence of his from his Father, he's even overjoy'd (as we ſay) to ſee him: He is as one tranſported, for he falleth on his Fathers neck, having firſt humbly preſented himſelf to him, Gen. 46. 29. And he wept (for very extaſie of joy) on his neck a good while; his heart was ſo overcome with ſtrength of affections, that for a good ſpace he can ſilently weep, but not utter a word, that we read of till afterwards: till his good old Father firſt brake that deep ſilence, verſ. 30. and then Joſeph alſo ſpeaketh, verſ. 31. As Children are to their Parents, the deſire of their eyes, and that whereupon they ſet their minds, their Sons and their Daughters, Ezek. 24. 25. So ſhould Parents be to Children. Jacob had enough if his Son Joſeph be alive and well, he is content to die if God ſo pleaſed, Gen. 46. 30. Let the ſight of abſent, long abſent Parents, be to Children, even as dear and precious, and delighting, as their very lives, if not more: as it is in that precedentall love and reſpect of the genuine Children of the Father of Spirits; Oh the ſight of his face, the injoyment of his preſence, eſpecially after ſome ſpace of the want of his bleſſed preſence, what is it not to ſuch Childrens hearts? Such for the nature at leaſt of our reſpect and love, ſhould be Childrens love to their Parents.
2. They are not forward to part with 2. Backwardneſſe to pa… w…h them.their Parents, but as urged & in a ſort forced by any ſpeciall call or providence of God; and if ſometimes called, to be abſent from them for a time, yet to be longing (in a moderate and regular way) after their Company againe. Both theſe paticulars are clear in inſtances, the former in Ruth, when her Siſter Orpha left her Mother with tears in her eyes, (Ruth 1. 14. And they lift up their voice and wept again, and Orpha kiſſed her Mother in Law, but) Ruth clave to her, yea, when urged by Naomi to return after her Siſter-in-Law, verſ. 15. Yet ſaith ſhe, verſ. 19. Intreat me not to leave thee, for whither thou goeſt I will go, and where thou lodged I will lodge: She will ſhare with her in wealth and woe, and nothing but death ſhall part them, verſ. 17. 2 King. 19. 20. Eliſha muſt needs go and kiſs his Father and Mother, and then he will foolow Elijah: God will have the poore captive Woman, when her Maſter liketh her for his Wife, yet to bewaile her Father and Mother for a MonethMonth, Deut. 21. 13. Such loathneſs God will have Children to expreſs to part with dear Parents, as Parents are wonderous loath to part with their Children, living or dying, unleſs urged by Gods Call: like good old Jacob firſt, Gen. 42. 38. My Son (ſaith he of Benjamin) ſhall not go down with you, for his Brother is dead, and he is left alone, if miſchief befall him by the way ye go, then ſhall ye bring down my gray haires with ſorrow to the grave, and Cap. 43. 22, &c. And their Father Iſrael ſaid, if it muſt needs be ſo, then do this, &c. So ſhould Children not part with their Parents, till they muſt needs, till God ſome way calleth them from them: as the genuine Children of God, ſuch is their love to him, that it is as death to part with him, though but for a time; Oh if it might be their Fathers pleaſure, they would never be from him, nor have him from them. So in the nature of our love to Parents, ſhould it be expreſſed to them; if God ſhould take them away from us, yet our love ſhould be expreſſed in our greateſt trouble and grief for them, as Iſaacks was to his Mother, for three years ſpace after, as was ſhewed from Gen. 24. 63. compared with other Scriptures. When David would expreſs his great grief for his very afflicted enemies, as if his friends or Brethren, I bowed down heavily (ſaith he) as one that mourneth for his Mother, a Mother-Ieſs Childs mourning then, for a deceaſed Mother, is the ſaddeſt of mournings; Hence it was of old a good Neighbourly Cuſtome, to give a conſolatory Cup, to ſuch as mourned for Father or Mother, as ſuch whoſe grief was deemed ſo great, that they needed ſome cheering; hence the contrary threatned in judgment, Jer. 16. 7. Edward the firſt, having his Father Henry the 3. newly deceaſed, and withall one young Prince, his own Son, dead alſo, he made light of his Sons death in compariſon of his Fathers, ſaying, He might come to have more Sons, but he ſhould never have any more Fathers, now this was gon. As for the other expreſſion of Childrens love to Parents, in longing after them, we ſee it in Jacob, witneſs that part of his plea, Gen. 28. 21. So that I come again to my Fathers houſe in peace, and Gen 31. 30. Laban took notice that Jacob longed ſore after his Fathers houſe; as in that pattern of love of Gods Children, they ſhew in longing ſore after him, and of their Communion with him, Pſal. 42. 1, 2, 3. and 62. 1, 2, 3, &c. So it is in Childrens love to their Parents: only, this longing after them, muſt not exceed the bounds of particular calls and callings or relations, as of Husbands, Wifes, Servants, Miniſters, Magiſtrates, &c. But in ſuch a way and ſeaſon, as it may not break any other bonds of God.
3. Children are many waies to deny themſelves, 3. In denying themſelves for themfor their Parents choiſe good, any way, as when Children in their Parents wants or weakneſſes, are called to be ſtaies to their Parents, allbeit it might be more to their outward advantage to be elſe where, yet they muſt be willing to ſuffer and loſe ſomewhat with them, and for them, rather then forſake them in ſuch a caſe: as Ruth ſeeing her aged Mother-in-law, who had been full of outward bleſſings, but now is empty and very poor, ſhe will not leave her though a younger Woman and likely to do better for the outward man other where, Ruth. 1. 16, &c. ſhe will work hard for her, ſtoop low to become a poor gleaner, to bring in ſupplies to her Mother-in-law, Cap. 2. and how long did Jacobs Sons imploy themſelves, in the Managing their Fathers eſtate and outward affaires & ſupplies? not alone before their Marriage, Gen. 30. 35. but after, witneſs that Gen. 37. 12, 14 & 42. 1, 2, 3. & 43. 15. and 47. 1, 2, 3, &c. Yea, Children are to be willing to run very great hazards or hardſhips, for their Parents ſakes, rather then to indanger them, in their perſons and names, or the like. Notable is that example of good Judah, Gen. 44. 33, 34. having ſaid, v. 30. That his Fathers life was bound up in the Lads life, ſo that as v. 31. If he ſee not him return, he will die, and ſo they ſhal bring their Fathers gray haires with ſorrow to the grave; now therefore, ſaith Judah, let thy Servant abide inſtead of the Lad, bond-man to my Lord, and let the Lad go up with his Brethren, for how ſhall I go up to my Father, and the Lad be not with me? leſt paradventure, I ſee the evill that ſhall come to my Father; Judah had rather live and die a bond-man, if thereby he might lengthen out his Fathers daies, by Benjamins return, or prevent his ſorrowfull end, by the detaining Benjamin in Egypt. Memorable is that ſtory recorded by Pauſanias l. 10. writing of the Catanenſiaus, ſaith, that when Catana, a City bordering upon Aetna, was ſet on fire by it, they made nothing of their Silver or Gold, but as they fled out, one taketh up his Mother upon his ſhoulders, another his Father, but becauſe they haſted not, being ſo loaden, the fire compaſſed them, the flame ſuddenly paſſing on, yet would they not lay down their Parents, wherefore they report, that the flames parted as in two, and paſſed over both the young men and their Parents, without mortall hurt of them, whence in his time, honourable memorials were aſſigned by them to the Catanenſes: God honoured thoſe acts of high reſpect to Parents, with a notable deliverance, and men honoured them with honourable monuments thereof. And indeed, what did not the pattern of filial reſpect to his Father, the Son of God, hazard and undergo for his Fathers ſake and honour? and what will not any genuine Child of his, by his help under go, rather then hazard his name or cauſe, and there is a proportion of the like, in the Children of mens love to their Parents. Parents many waies denyed and hazarded themſelves for Children, and they may well do as much for Parents.
4. They are to be exceedingly affected with 4. In being affected with Parents favour or frownes.their Parents true love to them, or grounded and juſt diſpleaſure againſt them, in the ſpeaking expreſſions of either of them: Solomon kept the Records thereof, in his caſe, as that he took ſpeciall notice of, and was much affected with, and God himſelf took it ſo well, that he ordereth it to be a piece of Sacred Writ, Prov. 4. 3. I was (ſaith he) my Fathers Son, tender, and only beloved in the ſight of my Mother: When Ruben ſaw that Joſeph was miſſing, in fear of his Father diſtaſt thereof, ſaith, Gen. 37. 30. The Child is not; and I, whither ſhall I go? Abſolom would be feigning a genuine filiall reſpect to his Father, in this particular, that his Fathers favour is all in all to him as a Son, and his life doth him no good, whileſt under his diſpleaſure, 2 Sam. 14. 32. He would have Joab ſay on his behalf to the King his Father, wherefore am I come up from Geſhur? now therefore let me ſee the Kings face, and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me: but he was a very Counterfeit in this: God himſelf alludeth to the caſe of the diſpleaſed Father, in Miriams caſe, Numb. 12. 14. If her Father (ſaith he) had ſpit in her face, ſhould ſhe not be aſhamed ſeaven daies? look as it was in Chriſts deep affections, to the expreſſions of his Fathers love or anger; or as it is with Gods other Children, that nothing more affects them, then the ſenſe of their Fathers love one way, or that of his diſpleaſure the other way; So it is with ingenuous Children, in a like reſpect of affectionatneſſe with Parentall favour or anger.
5. They are to prize very much Parents good 5 In prizing Parents inſtructions and reproofs.and ſavoury Counſels and inſtructions, yea, their very rebukes: Carefully remembring and recording their moſt uſefull ſayings. Thus Solomon taketh this as Davids charge to him, Prov. 4. 4. Let thine heart retain my words: and the choicer paſſages thereof he records verſ. 5. ſuch as thoſe, get Wiſdome, get Ʋnderſtanding, and other like golden Counſels, verſ. 6, 7, 8, &c. He giveth the like in charge to his Son, verſ. 21. My Son, attend unto my words, keep them in the midſt of thine heart. See the like Prov. 3. 1. and 2. 1. and 6. 21. Cap. 7. 1, 2, 3. Herein Gods Childrens honour of reſpect and love to their heavenly Father is expreſſed, that they make ſo much of his words, and keep them as their treaſure: It is the like in the caſe of the Children of men towards their Parents.
6. They are to prize and cleave to their good 6. In prizing Parents friends and Children.Parents ſpeciall friends, Prov. 27. 10. Thy Fathers friend forſake not: but eſpecially they are to cleave to Brethren and Siſters of the ſame Parents, 1 Pet. 3, 8. Love as Brethren (ſaith he in Saints caſes) but it is borrowed from that which is naturall to Brethren of the ſame Parents, which is to love each other dearly, its elſe a diſhonour to the Image of their Parents, which is as one Common ſtamp upon them all, ſo that if they love the one, they muſt love the other, whence alſo that, by the ſame alluſion, when ſpeaking of love to Gods Children, 1 Joh. 5. 1. And every one that loveth him that begat, loveth him alſo that is begotten, he that loveth the Father begetting, will love his Image in his begotten. Moſes thought it was a ſufficient antidote againſt any thing contrary to love, to thoſe two Iſraelites, that they were Brethren of one houſe; yea of one Father, even God, why ſhould they ſtrive or, wrong each other, Acts 7. 26.
7. They are meekly and wiſely to uſe all faithfull 7. In diſwading Parents from ſoulevills and dangers.endeavours, to diſſwade Parents, and to take them off, from whatſoever might in danger their very ſouls welfare, for that is love indeed.
Hence by alluſion of ſuch Children, Hoſ. 2. 2. Plead with your Mother, plead ſaith God to the good Children of the Church: Children may in ſuch a way, and muſt plead with their very Mothers. Good Jonathan did wiſely deal with his Father, and ſaid to him, 1 Sam. 19. 4. Let not the King ſin againſt his ſervant, againſt David, becauſe he hath not ſinned againſt thee, and becauſe his works have been to thee-ward very good, &c.
8: They are cordially to ſymphathize with 8. In ſympathiſing with Parents.their Parents in their joyes or ſorrows, Ge. 44. 34. How ſhall I go up to my Father and the Lad not with me, leſt peradventure I ſee the evill that ſhall come on my Father, Gen. 37. 35. All Jacobs Sons and Daughters roſe up to comfort him.Uſe 1. Of Reproof of Childrens unnaturallneſs to Parents.
1. Uſe of reproof. 1. It ſerves to reprove ſuch wretched Children who even in theſe very dayes of Goſpel-light, are without naturall affection to their Parents: You have this charged upon the Heathen, Rom. 1. 31. That they were foreign, but the Apoſtle, 2 Tim. 3. 3, 5. Chargeth it upon Chriſtians alſo, who had a form of godlineſs, and I wiſh too many ſuch were not to be found amongſt Chriſtians, and ſuch as would be thought ſome body for Religion. Some indeed reſtrain this in 2 Tim. 3. 3. To Parents unnaturallneſs to Children, which yet upon Rom. 1. 31. expound it of Childrens unnaturallneſſe to Parents: but there is no need to reſtrain it to either onelyonly Parents, or onelyonly Children, the word is the ſame, in the Greek in both places: and its well known that the word foreign, ſignifies moſt properly that affection of love, whereby either Parents reſpect their Children, or Children againe reſpect their Parents: And foreign, are perſons without that affection, whether they be Parents or Children, and ſo in the Bible put out by the late ſynod, they well note upon that, Rom. 1. 31. That the ſin there taxed by the Apoſtle, did reign among the Gentiles, who ſacrificed in ſome places their aged Parents, and ſometimes their Children, unto their Idols: expoſed them to ruine, and deſtroyed them, though not guilty of any capitall crimes, and they refer to 2 Tim. 3. 3. as the ſame in ſenſe: but that part of unnaturalneſſe which we here deal withall, is that of the Children to the Parents, though we acknowledge, that all the aggravations of this ſin, deduceable from thoſe two Scriptures are appliable as well to unnaturalneſs in Parents, with which I deale not at preſent, as to unnaturalneſſe in Children, of which I am now ſpeakiag.
But that we loſe not our bottome for the reproof, are there not too many Children of Chriſtians, who are as thoſe ſpoken of, 2 Tim. 3. 3, 4. Heady and unruly Children to their Parents? Fathers and Mothers cannot, ſhall not, now rule Signes of it.them, their words they care not for, and their blowes they as little regard, are not theſe void of naturall affection to their Parents? Some there are who are treacherous to their very Parents alſo, Traytors they are called as, 2 Tim. 3. 3, 4. Such as Parents know not how to truſt with their Counſels, Secrets, Eſtates, or occaſions, they are ſo falſe to them: as Micah complained in his time, Micah 7. 5, 6. and have theſe genuine affection to their Parents? Some will cunningly draw their very Parents into ſome ſinfull ſnares, as ſome Sons and Daughters do Parents into errours, Deut. 13. 6. or as Lots Daughters, who drew him firſt to drink too much of their wine, and then drew him into inceſt, Gen. 19. 33, 35. but do ſuch love, or are not they rather baters, grand-enemies to their Parents? Some there are who riſe up againſt their good Parents, and even for their goodneſs: Some neglect to do for them in their needs: Some there are who are ready to give reviling ſpeeches to their Parents, Exod. 21. to ſtrike at them, ibid. or to ſcoffe at them, Prov. 30 17. or to imbeſil or waſt their eſtates, Pro. 19. 26. or at leaſt to waſt their farthers (viz. their Spirits) haſten their end, by their lewd courſes: and care not though they know what croſſe courſes they take, do even break their Parents hearts, yet will on: But do any ſuch as you are, honour Parents with the Honour of reſpect and love? Surely no, you are foreign ▪ without filiall affection: what ever your form of godlineſs may be, to be ſure it is without power, 2 Tim. 3. 3, 5. Such as you are make the times perilous, verſ. 1. and you carry a very black Evills of it.brand of perſons given up to a reprobate mind; for perſons given up to a reprobate mind, Rom. 1. 28. they are noted out to be without naturall affection, verſ. 31. But wo be to all ſuch unnaturall wretches, as you are, your ruine haſteth; let unnaturall Abſolom's end be a warning to all ſuch.
2. It ſerves to reprove Parents, who by your 2. Of Parents ſome way occaſioning alienation of Childrens hearts from them.own ſins lay ſtumbling blocks in your Childrens way, to tempt them to unnaturallneſs in affection, or alienation of affection, or any abatement of that Honour of reſpect and love, which they owe to you: for though it be the Childs great ſin, to be ſo alienated in affection to Parents, yet you that are Parents may do too much to occaſion the ſame, as,
1. By committing ſome heinous ſin againſt God, againſt your Parents, or againſt others, and 1 By ſome groſſe ſin of theirs againſt God.ſo bring this as a curſe upon your Children to be ſo unnaturall; as we ſhewed in the unnaturall ſins of the Canaanites, mentioned, Lev. 20. 9, 12, &c. to the 23. as a juſt fruit of the curſe upon Canaan, and upon Cham his Father: It was unnaturallneſs in Abſolom to take up the ſword againſt his own Father, and to defile his Father bed openly before all, 2 Sam. 15. 16. but it is no more then God by Nathan threatned David with for his Murther and Adultery, that he would raiſe up evill to him out of his own houſe, 2 Sam. 12. 9, 10, 11.
2. By unnaturall carriages towards your 2. By too unnaturall carriages towards Children.Children; (for there are too often) too many of ſuch alſo found, even amongſt profeſſing Parents) or too many Churliſh, harſh and ſtrange carriages, bitter and reviling ſpeeches, unmercifull and cruell correctings, and puniſhings of them: any of theſe are apt to ſowr Childrens Spirits, and to breed alienation of heart from you that are Pareets, as Labans Daughters ſaid of their Father Laban, in ſome heat of Spirit, Gen. 31. 14, 15. Is there yet any portion in our Fathers houſe, (they care not how ſoon they are gon farther from him) are we not counted of him ſtrangers?
3. By too much greedineſſe after the world, 3. By Covetous pinchingsmaking thereby your Children more like ſlaves for your profits, then Children, & as baſely putting them off, when you have ſerv'd your turns by thē: this made Labans Daughters ſpeak more harſhly of their father, & took off their hearts ſomewhat from him, Ge. 31. 14, 15. He hath ſold us, ſay they, & hath quite devoured our money, Prov. 15. 27. He that is greedy of gaine troubleth his own houſe, this way alſo as well as other waies by breeding diſturbances and diſtances, even twixt them and their Children, and their Children and themſelves.
4. By breaking juſt promiſes made, reſpecting 4. By breaking juſt promiſes with Childrenyour Children, eſpecially, in matters of diſpoſall of them in marriage, as when Laban baſely breaketh his promiſe of Rachel to Jacob, Ge. 29 18, 19, 25. his daughters harts could not get clear of theſe old matters, Ge. 31. 14, 15. He that ſold us, &c. what portiō have we in his houſe? when children are croſt in their juſt deſires, as when Merab Sauls daughter is promiſed to David, 1 Sam. 28. 17. juſt when ſhe was to have had him, then ſhe is given to Adriel, v. 19. This muſt needs breed ill blood; yea, when Parents will force Children to break ſtrongeſt engagements of love, lawfully made, to thoſe they would have had, as when Michal Sauls Daughter loveth David and is given to him, 1 Sam. 18. 27, 28. and yet afterward given to Phalti, 1 Sam. 25. 44. or when Sampſons Wife is given away by his Father-in-Law to another, Judg. 15. 2. this provoked him to ſeek revenge of that wrong, verſ. 3. 6. Or when you that are Parents will be forcing of matches for ſiniſter and low ends upon your Children, croſſe to the very bent of their minds; as Saul to cauſe his Daughter Merab to have Adriel, when ſhe was to have had David; ſad have been the miſchiefes of this, in unnaturall acts of Children againſt very Parents, ſtirred up therein by ſuch croſs acting of Parents. One de Sales a French-man ſtifled his Father, a grave Counſellour in Tholous in France, becauſe he would not conſent to his marriage with one de la Hay. So in Fidelia and Caeleſtina too Italian Ladies, who croſſed by their Father in their matching to their minds, they conſpire his death, and got him murthered.
5. By miſplacing your reſpects upon unworthy 5. By miſpleacing affections upon unworthy Children.Children, as Iſaac upon Eſau, who proved one that little reſpected his Father, witneſs his croſſe matchings to the grief of his Fathers heart, Gen. 25. 28. Iſaac loved Eſau, becauſe he eat of his veniſon, Cap. 26. 34, 35. Eſau took Judith and Balhſhema, which were a grief of heart to Iſaac and Rebeckah. David miſplaced his reſpect upon Abſolom, and loved him too well, and more than other his Children; and he proved the moſt unnaturall wretch to him of them all, 2 Sam. 15. Criſtina a Switzer, ſhe inordinately affected her Son Maurice, would hardly believe any evill report againſt him, though never ſo true, and this Fellow afterward turned a paricide, and by a wile drew his Mother to look into a deep wel, and there threw her in, where ſhe periſhed.Uſe 2. For exhortation.
A ſecond uſe of this branch of the generall point is for exhortation.
1. To Children, to cherriſh, ſtrengthen, and inlarge 1 To Children to cheriſh naturall reſpects of love to Parents.your reſpect and love to your Parents: wherein I may ſay as Ariſtotle doth in his Ethicks, l. 8. Cap. 16. ſpeaking of the honour due to God and Parents, foreign, No man can give them the honour whereof they are worthy: only he that to his utmoſt doth endeavour to give them higheſt reſpect, he may be called pious. Children are never able to aequalize, Motives to it.or match Parents love to their Children; Parents love to Children, is as to ſo many pieces of themſelves, but Childrens love to Parents, is as of thoſe who come from them: So that Parents love to Children deſcendeth, as from ſprings or Fountaines to the ſtreames iſſuing from them, and therefore runneth down more ſtrongly, freely, and unceſſantly: but Childrens love to Parents is aſcending, & therefore moveth more ſlowly and gently, and needeth more help in its motion: Ariſtotle obſerveth well, that of which any thing is generated, is by a greater and more forcible neceſſity nearly knit to that which is generated of it, than that which is born and generated is to that which begot it, Eth. l. 8. Cap. 14. Parents love alſo hath the ſtart of time to that of their Childrens, for Parents love their Children as ſoon as they are born, but Children love their Parents and reſpect them, when they come to underſtanding and are of ſome years: Parents prevented Children in their love, Children can never overtake them therein, only muſt follow them as hard in the way of love as they can: Children, when little Children have nothing to give Parents, to be a temptation to bribe their affections to them, nor are they of any power to curb them any way, to enforce reſpects to them, and ſo they are more pure: Whereas in both theſe regards, Childrens reſpects to Parents may be leavened: Yea, Parents, as Parents, are inſtruments in Gods hands, of their Childrens Souls being in their bodies, and ſo of the faculties of their Souls, and ſo of their naturall affections in them, and of that affection of love and fear amongſt the reſt, and therefore they may well chalenge the honourable improvement of them to themſelves, ſo far as God alloweth the ſame.
To conclude, Children will never honour Parents, with the honour of Reverence, Obedience, or Recompence, or the like, unleſſe they give the honour of reſpect & love due to them, therefore give them this their due. Now that Children may be helped and furthered in doing this.Helps to it. 1 Dread of the vile ſin of unnaturalneſſe.
1. Poſſeſſe your hearts with a deep ſenſe and dread of the heinous nature of the ſin of unnaturalneſs, which is wont to be accompanied with the vileſt ſins againſt God and Man: as by comparing Rom. 2. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32. and 2 Tim. 3. 2, 3, 4. may be diſcerned: Such perſons who are without naturall affections, commonly proving Blaſphemous againſt God, ingrateful to God and men, unholy, truce and Covenant-breakers, whiſperers, back-biters, falſe accuſers of others, they are commonly given to uncleanneſs, and wantonneſs, they are fierce and furious, of a cruell Salvage, unmercifull & implacable ſpirit, they are deſpiſers of thoſe that are good, they are even haters of God: they are haters of other men, of a ſpightfull, malicious, quarrelſome, and envious Spirit, in a word, They are full of all unrighteouſneſſe, and deceit themſelves, and inventors of evill things, evill opinions, evill practiſes, ringleaders in ſin, authors of ſin to others. If ſundry of theſe ſcandalous perſons in old and new England were cloſely ſearch'd into, they would be found to be perſons, who have been & are unnaturall to their Parents.
2. Take heed of any leading cauſes which breed and feed unnaturalneſs, and undermine naturall 2. Avoiding cauſes of unnaturalneſſe of affection as, 1. Ignorance.affection to Parents: ſuch as are,
1. Ignorance of God, and of his word, and of the matters of Religion, Rom 1. 31. without underſtanding, without naturall affection; if without underſtanding, what wonder if without naturall affection?
2. Self-love, for they that are ſo full of ſelf-love, 2. Self-love.have never a due proportion of love left for God or man, for Parents or others: 2 Tim. 3. 2. For men ſhall be lovers of themſelves, and verſe 3. without naturall affection.
3. A worldly, covetous Spirit, ibid. Covetous, 3. Covetouſneſſe.without naturall affection: a Spirit of the love of the world will eat out, as the love of the Father of our Spirits, John 2. 15. ſo that of the Father of our fleſh alſo, whoſe Fatherhood is an Image of that in God: Such, if they ſhew reſpect to Parents, it is but for their own advantage and gaine, and if the reſpect to them may not ſtand with their gain, or muſt be to their outward loſſe, then adieu reſpect to Parents.
4. A proud Spirit, 2 Tim. 3. 3, 4. Without naturall affection, high-minded. Abſolom who was ſo Pride.high-minded, what wonder is it if he prove ſo unnaturall to his Father?
5. A Voluptuous Spirit, ibid. Without naturall affection, lovers of pleaſures more then lovers of God: Voluptuouſneſſe.They that reſpect their pleaſures ſo much, they never reſpect God as they ſhold, nor their parents. Eſaus inordinateneſſe of affection to his hunting, brings him to that, Gen. 25. that he deſpiſeth his birth-right, as his Fathers eldeſt Son, and therein virtually deſpiſeth his Father, and his voluptuous deſires after the Canaanitiſh women, make him careleſſe of grieving his Father and Mother, and ſo far unnaturall to them, Gen. 26.3. Getting their hearts truly turned to the Lord.
3. Labour to get your hearts turned to God effectually, and in love with him as a Father, and then whatſoever alienations of heart there were in you from your Parents before, yet then Childrens hearts will be alſo turned fully to your good Parents Ma. 4. 6. Jo. Baptiſt (its ſaid) by the bleſſing of grace upon his Miniſtry, turning perſons to the Lord, to the faith, to the wiſedome of the Juſt, (as Luke hath ſaid it, Luk. 1. 17.) he ſhall turn the hearts of the Children to their good Fathers, which whileſt the Children were wicked, they could not well abide to be controuled, reproved, curbed and corrected, as they were by them, and ſo their good Fathers alſo, whoſe hearts were much taken off from thoſe Children for their vileneſſe ſhould be turned towards their Children, or as ſome ſay, the unnaturall diſtances bred betwixt Parents and Children, by many ſects and opinions, too rife among the Jewes, when by ſound doctrine they were brought to rights, and to the truth, thoſe alienations ſhould be healed. Only Cautions about Childrens love to Parents. 1. Not ſuch as to approve ſin in Parents.in the love of Children to Parents, let theſe cautions be obſerved,
1. Look that it be not ſuch as to approve of the evill ſaiyings, principles, or practiſes of your ungodly, or of your ſeducing or ſeduced Parents. Its blamed in them, Pſal. 40. 13. their poſterity approve their ſayings, Jer. 7. 18. The Children gather wood, and the Fathers kindle a fire, and the women knead the dough, to make Cakes to the Queen of heaven. 2 King. 15. 13. Aſaph loved his Mother well, as his Mother, but he hateth her Idol, he deſtroyeth and burneth it. Abraham loveth his Father Terah well, but will not go after his way of Idol-worſhip,, Joſh. 24. 2, 3. God commendeth it in the Son, who ſeeth all his fathers ſins, and conſidereth and doth not ſuch like, Ezek. 18. 14.
2. Let it not be ſuch, as to follow their evill Of 2. Such as to follow their ſinfull Counſell,Counſel in any thing, as Ahaziah who walked in the waies of Ahab, for his Mother was his Conſellour, 2 Chron. 22. 3. And as Herodias who being before inſtructed of her Mother, ſaid to Herod, give me here John Baptiſts head in a charger, Mat. 14. 8.
3. Let it not be ſo as to keep their dangerous Or 3. Such as to keep their ſinfull Counſeland wicked Counſel, in any way of wickedneſſe, but rather ſeaſonably to reveal it; Michol Sauls Daughter, did well in this, to tell her husband David, of her Fathers Sauls bloody deſign againſt him, ſo that he eſcaped, 1 Sam. 19. 11, 12. The like did Jonathan to David, Cap. 20 3, 4.
4. That it be not ſo, as when you are called of Or 4. Not to bear ſeaſonable witneſs againſt their evils.God to it, then not to bear ſeaſonable witneſſe againſt their ſin, as in caſe of Parents ſeducing Children from the Lord and his worſhip, In caſe of groſſe Idolatry, or the like: then zealous Levi ſaith to his Father and to his Mother, I have not ſeen him, Deut. 33. 9. And Aſaph an higheſt Civill Ruler, called to do juſtice without reſpect of perſons, he removeth Maacha his Idolatrous Mother from her Regency, 1 King. 15. 13.
5. That it be not ſo, as when you are called Or 5. Such as for them, to neglect juſt reſpects to othersto maried conditions, then for Parents ſakes, to neglect juſt reſpects to your ſpouſes, and regard to your Families welfare, Gen. 30. 30. in that caſe Jacob will ſay to Laban his Father-in-Law, when ſhall I provide for my houſe, and that Law, Gen. 2. 24. taketh here place, for this cauſe ſhall a man forſake Father and Mother and cleave to his Wife.
2. Of exhortation to Parents to carry it ſo, 2. To Parents to carry it ſo as may win reſpect.as may even win and gain ſuch reſpect and love from your Children, which is due from them; as for inſtance.
1. Be frequently inſtructing your Children in the beſt things, in their Soul-matters: this won Solomons heart the more to his Father David, inſomuch that he keepeth a honourable record of his Fathers inſtructions, Prov. 4 4, 5, 6, &c. The bond of love is doubled, when natural Fathers, by Gods bleſſing upon their inſtructions and admonitions, become ſpirituall Fathers of their Children, and a twofold cord is not eaſily broken.
2. Be ever and anon incouraging your Children 1. By incouraging them in good.in any good thing; hence that Alluſion, Iſa. 66. 13. as on whom his Mother comforteth: which as they are more abundantly encouraged by them, ſo enlarged alſo in affections to them. Famous is the example of William Hunters Mother, as he was leading to the ſtake for Chriſt; Son William, (ſaith ſhe) I think thee as well beſtowed, as ever any Mr. Fox Acts and Mon.Child that I bare in my womb: and that example of the Mother of that little Child, which was Martyred with Romanus, who ſtood by incouraging her Child, and when all others almoſt wept to ſee the Childs tortures, ſhe ſtood by rejoycing: and when that fatall act of cruelly was to be done upon the Child, to take away its Head, after ſhe had taken her Child and kiſſed it, ſhe ſtood by ſinging, All laud and praiſe, with heart and voice, O Lord we yield to thee, To whom the death of all thy Saints, We know moſt dear to be: bidding the Child alſo to remember the children of Bethlehem, who were martyr'd for Chriſt.
3. Be ready to defend, and vindicate Children 3. By defending them in a juſt cauſe.in any juſt cauſe, as Joaſh did his Son Gedeon, againſt thoſe that complained of him for throwing down Baals Altar, Judg. 6. 29, 30, 31. and Joaſh ſaid to them, will yee plead for Baal, will ye ſave him? he that will plead for him, let him be put to death, if he be a God, let him plead for himſelf: the blind-mans Parents did not thus, who out of a baſe fear, put off all to their Son, he is old enough, let him anſwer for himſelf, John 9. 21. yea let Parents vindicate their children from unjuſt ſlanders as the Father of the wronged Damſel was to do, Deut. 22. 13. to 9. this muſt needs win love.
4. Be conſcionable, ſollicitous of your childrens 4. By care of their outward weal.outward welfare, as was Jacob of his Sons, Ge. 37. 14. and Jeſſe of his Son, 1 Sam. 17. 17. this alſo much gaineth upon childrens hearts.
5. Carry it towards your children with much 5. By Compaſſionatneſs toward them.tenderneſs and bowels, as need and prudence requireth, Numb. 11. 12. Carry them in thy boſom, as a nurſing Father the ſucking child, Pſal. 103. 13. as a Father patieth his children, Mal. 3. 17. as a Father ſpareth his Son that ſerveth him: this, as it breaketh every way-ward heart of a child, ſo it winneth the Son; as it is in the fruit of Gods bowels expreſſed to his children, ſo in mens to theirs.