Advice to Parents and Children, Part 3
More particularly, I now Exhort You.
1. Be it for Conſcience ſake ſtill, that you Honour your Parents. Be ſure it be your deſire to pleaſe, and your fear to offend God, that makes you fear to offend and deſire to pleaſe your Parents. Read heedfully Lev. 19.3. Ye ſhall fear every Man his Mother and his Father and keep my Sabbaths. There's the Precept. I am the Lord your God; that is, you elſe offend me who am God, and your Covenant God. There is the Motive. Charge your Conſciences to be your daily Remembrancers of this; that the true Honouring of Parents is a Fruit, whoſe Root is the true Honour of God.
2. Be it as you would receive and lay up Gold, that you receive and lay up the Advice your Parents give you. Have, and ſhew that you have as true a pleaſure in taking the one as the other from them. Convince their hearts that they do delight you, when they do inſtruct you. That would be an advantage to them and you too, beyond the expreſſion. Make them to ſee that what is imparted unto you, is not loſt. And that you treaſure up their ſayings, as the Sons of Caſſius did his Books. When it was threatned their Fathers Books ſhould be burnt; they anſwered, Then must you burn us too; for we have his Books in our hearts. Prov. 6.20, 21. My Son keep thy Fathers Commandment, and forſake not the Law of thy Mother. Bind them continually upon thy heart, and tye them about thy neck.
3. Convince your Parents that you much delight in their preſence. That you love to be near them, to hear their Wiſdom. Even little Children are tainted, when they like better to be in the Kitchen with the ſervants, than in the Parlor with their Parents. More grown ones be poyſoned, when they think themſelves then beſt, when fartheſt from holy Parents Obſervation and Counſel. Neither do love their perſons or their piety, if they love not their company. The Prodigal, when he had wandred from his Fathers Houſe, is ſaid to have been dead and loſt, Luke 15. Holy Joſeph bid his Brethren tell Jacob, Thus ſaith thy Son Joſeph, come down unto me, tarry not. Thou ſhalt be near unto me, thou and thy Children, and thy Childrens Children. Gen. 45.9, 10. And Ruth, (who loſt nothing by it) ſaid to her very Mother in Law, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgeſt I will lodge, where thou diest will I die. Ruth 1.16, 17. God ordered, that the advanced Captive ſhould, for a months time, bewail the loſs of her Father and Mothers converſe, Deut. 21.13. But,
4. Let all the houſe ſee, that your Parents Friends be yours, and your choiceſt ones. That your affection is ſwayed by theirs; and you cannot but love ſuch as they love. Prov. 27.10. Thy Fathers Friends forſake not. In loving my Parents, God and Men do ſhew me love; and my Parents love of both, directs and excites me to the love of both, I am a Child unnatural, If I love not both the better for their loving and being beloved of my Parents. Hear Moſes, Exod. 15.2. The Lord is my ſtrength, he is my God, (my own) I will (therefore) prepare him an habitation; my Fathers God, and (therefore) I will exalt him. Remember this, Children; and obſerve ye well; 'tis made an extreme aggravation of your ſin, that it is ſinned againſt the God of your Fathers. That is, againſt the God that was very kind to them, and was by them Honoured and Worſhipped. Judg. 2.12. They forſook the Lord God of their Fathers, and the anger of the Lord was hot againſt them. So Deut. 32.17. 'tis a dreadful charge, They Sacrificed unto Devils, to new Gods that came newly up, whom their Fathers feared not.
5. Joy your Parents joys, and grieve their griefs, Let Sympathy ſhew your Unity. Let one joy of theirs, make you forget ſix troubles and ſeven of your own. And one ſorrow of theirs, unſweeten as many comforts of your own. Jacob's Sons and Daughters, all, roſe up to comfort him, 37.35. And Judah profeſſed he was not able to ſee his Father in ſuperadded trouble; How ſhall I go up to my Father, and the Lad be not with me? leſt peradventure I ſee the evil that ſhall come on my Father. Gen. 44.34. q. d. Rather had I be thrown in Irons my ſelf, and live and die in Slavery, than add to the ſorrows of my Fathers gray hairs. So Reuben, before, when Joſeph was loſt; in the dread of his Father's ſore aking heart, bittterly cries out, The Child is not, and I, whither ſhall I go? Gen. 37.30. Hark alſo how Saul ſpeaks, 1 Sam. 9.5. Come let us return, leſt my Father take thought for us.
6. Sleep not under your Parents diſpleaſure. If you any way raiſe it, uſe preſently all means to lay it. Be it a juſt or unjuſt Flame, ſhew you that 'tis one you are grievouſly tormented in. Eat not, Drink not, Buy and Sell not, till it be quenched. At leaſt till you have humbly offered all poſſible means for quenching it. I mean, all that you can do without offending God, for pacifying them. Next to God's wrath, I would deprecate my Parents. And next unto his Bleſſing, I would deſire theirs. Numb. 12.14. If a Father ſpit in a Childs face, ſhould not the Child be aſhamed ſeven days? Very Eſau himſelf, finding his Father's Bleſſing gone from him, could not bear it: but cried with tears, Bleſs me, even me alſo, O my Father. Gen. 27.13. And as for Heavenly Joſeph, when he heard his Father was ſick, he makes his utmoſt ſpeed to him, with his Sons alſo carried, that he might not miſs of his Bleſſing, Gen. 48.
7. Bear patiently, and bleſs God heartily for your Parents rebukes and corrections. Very often do the beſt Children need both. And it is of pure and greateſt kindneſs that good Parents do give both. Following them with holy prayers for Divine Bleſſing. Go you therefore as oft as you are chaſtiſed, and ſay to this purpoſe: O ſin, ſin, I hate thee. Had I avoided thee, I had eſcaped this correction. My tender Parents puniſh themſelves in puniſhing me. Thou, O my ſin, haſt now troubled them and me. Much rather had they have ſeen my Duties than heard my Out-cries. God bids them ſtrike, and not ſpare for my crying. Yea and tells them they hate me if they ſcourge me not. Prov. 19.18. Prov. 13.24. Children! of all Creatures they are moſt miſerable, that are incorrigible; and moſt incorrigible, that are impatient of reproof, and moſt impatient of reproof, that cannot bear it from Parents. See Heb. 12.9.
8. Make your Parents in all things your Privy-counſellers. Acquaint them with your Secrets which are of any weight. Ask their advice in matters of any difficulty. This will ſpeak your eſteem of their Wiſdom, Faithfulneſs, and Affection. And convert all of them unto your uſe and benefit. O think of Sampſon's words! Judg. 14.16. I have not told my Father nor my Mother, and ſhould I tell it thee? As if he had ſaid; Of all Man-kind my Parents Breaſts be the Treaſuries of my thoughts. What I do not communicate unto them, I am not like to communicate to any Souls living. Children! take your Parents advice, as to your Trades, your Matches, and all things of Moment, And as far as their words do agree with God's word, cloſely follow them. If ever you repent it, upon me be ſhame and your curſe.
9. Pray, and beg others prayers, for the converſion of your Parents if they be unregenerate. Abraham did all he could, to help his Father Terah out of his Idolatry. Compare Acts 7.3, 4. with Gen. 11. latter end and 12.1. and Joſh. 24.2, 3. In this City I have the requeſt of ſeveral pious Children to pray for their prophane Parents Converſion. And to ſend Letters and Books to ſome of them.
10. Praiſe and imitate all that is good in your living Parents, and decently honour them at their death. It is ſaid of the Vertuous Woman, Prov. 31, 28. Her Children riſe up, and call her Bleſſed. Every Godly Parent ſpeaks to his Children, in words much like the Apoſtles; Phil. 4.9. The things which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and ſeen in me, do; and the God of peace ſhall be with you. Happy the Children, that obey that charge! Abrahams Sons buried him honourably. Gen. 25.9. So alſo did Iſaacs Sons bury him. Gen. 35.29. As for Jacob; it is ſaid, that Joſeph went up to bury his Father, and with him went up all the ſervants of Pharaoh, the elders of his houſe, and all the elders of the Land of Egypt. And all the houſe of Joſeph, and his Brethren, and his Fathers houſe: There went up with him both Chariots and Horſemen, and it was a very great company. Gen. 50.7, 8, 9. Some obſerve that Iſaac mourned the ſpace of three years for his Mother Sarahs death. He is then ſaid to have been comforted againſt his trouble, when he took Rebecca to Wife; Gen. 24.67. And they make it three years after the death of his Mother, that he Married. In a word; the Children that quickly forget Parents when they are Dead, did never overload them with honour when they were Alive. And 'tis a wonder if they themſelves do not both live undeſired, and dye unlamented.
Now the Lord make the following Conſiderations to be indeed Motives: And of good ſignificancy unto as many Children as ſhall read them.
C. 1. Parents do moſt of all repreſent God unto their Children. Their Generation ſhadows forth his Creation. Their Education, his Propriety, Government, and Love. To contemn Parents is to contemn God, in his moſt lively Repreſentatives unto Men.
C. 2. Parents, are under God, the greateſt of Benefactors unto Children. By them God conveighs his Spiritual and Temporal Bleſſings unto Children. Rom. 11.28. The Children are beloved for the Fathers ſakes. Prov. 20.7. The juſt man walketh in his integrity, his Children are bleſſed after him. Undutifulneſs to Parents, is the loweſt pit of ungratitude toward Mortals.
C. 3. Parents, are next unto God, the principal Owners and Rulers of Children. God the ſole Proprietor hath made Children moſt eminently theirs. He gives his Servants Children for Rewards, Pſal. 127.3. God the ſupream and univerſal Rector hath made Parents his ſpecial Vicegerents. To Teach, Rule and Judge Children. Whoſoever therefore reſiſteth Parents, reſiſteth the Ordinance of God; and is moſt aggravatedly Felon and Traitor.
C. 4. Sins againſt Parents are most prolifical ſins. Such as do bear all ſort of ſins againſt God, Men, and our ſelves. If a Child honour not his Father and Mother whom he hath ſeen, how ſhall he honour God whom he hath not ſeen? If he Curſe his Father, and do not Bleſs his Mother, that gave him his being; how ſhall he, as to others, Bleſs and Curſe not? Ezek. 22.7. In thee, (Jeruſalem,) have they ſet light by Father and Mother. The Hebrew word is directly oppoſite to that uſed in the fifth Commandment. The word there uſed for Honour, ſignifies weightily, and in extraordinary meaſure to honour. Here in Ezekiel the word uſed ſignifies to lighten, and to abate weight and meaſure. The fifth Command would be read thus; Load with Honour thy Father and Mother. But it is ſaid here, that in Jeruſalem, Children had took off that load. They had made great abatements of the due honour of Parents. Well, and what then? Why then Hell broke looſe, then Bloodſhed, then Oppreſſion, then Profaneneſs, then Sabbath-breaking, then Adultery and Fornication, and what not? He that allows himſelf in ſin againſt Parents, muſt not pretend to diſallow any ſin: Or if he does, he muſt not be believed to be other then an abſurd Pretender.
C. 5. Sins againſt Parents are threatened with the most and worſt of Judgments. Diſobedient Children are branded for Fools; Prov. 15.5. A Fool deſpiſeth his Fathers inſtruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent. And for Bruits; Prov. 12.1. Whoſo loveth inſtruction, loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof, is brutiſh. They are told they ſhall come to a ſhameful end, Prov. 20.20. Whoſo curſeth his Father or his Mother, his Lamp ſhall be put out in obſcure darkneſs. To an infamous death and terrible; Prov. 30.17. The Eye that mocketh at his Father, and deſpiſeth to obey his Mother, the Ravens of the Valley ſhall pick it out, and the young Eagles ſhall eat it. Of old, God commanded the Civil Magiſtrate to put them to death; Exod. 21.17. And he that curſeth his Father, or his Mother, ſhall ſurely be put to death. Lev. 20.9. For every one that curſeth his Father or his Mother, ſhall be ſurely put to death: He hath curſed his Father or his Mother; his blood ſhall be upon him. 'Tis certain therefore, if ye Honour not your Parents, you Fear not him that is able to deſtroy both Soul and Body.
C. 6. Sins againſt Parents, very long perſiſted in, are a token of utter Deſertion by God. 'Tis ſeldom they return that long walk in diſobedience to Parents. O what words do I read, 1 Sam. 2.25. They hearkened not unto the voice of their Father, becauſe the Lord would ſlay them. Child, Child, ſtay and read over this ten times together: If God give thee not Grace to hearken obediently unto thy Father, thou muſt look for nothing from his hands leſs then ſlaughter.
C. 7. Childrens ſins are Parents ſorrows, and ſtains in the World. Prov. 17.25. A fooliſh Son is bitterneſs to her that bare him. Parents need no proofs of this. Lev. 21.9. If the Daughter of any Priest profane her ſelf, ſhe profaneth her Father, ſhe ſhall be burnt with fire. She profanes her Father, that is, ſhe expoſes his Perſon, Miniſtry, and Religion unto contempt. Hear me, Children: Under the Goſpel, true Chriſtians are all and every one of them Prieſts. And if you are profane, you ſee what you do. And you may ſee more; Tit. 1.6. The ſcandal of riotous Children and unruly, do make a Parent unqualified for the Miniſtry. If you will be Impious, your poor Parents muſt be Infamous in a meaſure with you.
The Father of Lights clear your Minds from Folly and Ignorance; and cauſe your Wills to feel the attractive Power of his Bleſſed Word: And to make a moſt free and firm Choice of your required Duty, which is your undoubted Intereſt. Heathens and Mahometans, Jews and Papiſts, Proteſtants of all perſwaſions, agree herein.
I conclude with this only added unto both PARENTS and CHILDREN. This word, which contains the very reaſon of my firſt Preaching, and now Publiſhing what is preſented. Religion is horribly decayed among us. All ſenſible Chriſtians are ſtill crying, Reformation or Ruine is at our door. And dream ye not that the beſt King, Lords and Commons, can keep us ſafe in our ſins. The Nation cannot be reformed, till the Church is. Nor the whole of the Church, till the parts be ſo. Nor our Congregational Churches, till their Members be: Which ſaid Members then Reform, and not before, when they come to Davids reſolution, Pſal. 101.2. I will walk within my houſe with a perfect heart. And Joſhua's; Joſ. 24.15. As for me and my houſe we will ſerve the Lord. Nor is Reformation to be expected but from Family-Piety beginning and promoting it. I mean the Pious diſcharge of Parents duties to Children, and theirs unto Parents. For this I Pray and Labour. As in my ſelf moſt certain, that if the Lord come not, and thus turn the Hearts of the Fathers to the Children, and the Hearts of Children to their Parents, he will ſurely come and ſmite our Land with one or other, or many, or all his ſoreſt Curſes. Mal. 4.6.
The God and Father of our Lord Jeſus, grant, of his great Grace, better things. Namely, that in our Lands, the Fathers to the Children may make known his Truth. Iſa. 38.19. And the Children may obey their Parents in the Lord, in all things; for this is right and well pleaſing to the Lord. Eph. 6.1. Col. 3.20. Amen, and Amen!
FINIS.