Baxters Narrative of His Life and Times, Part 3 · Section 1 · Letter 5
My Lord,
BEing deeply sensible of your Lordship's Favours, and in special of your Liberal Offers for my Entertainment in Scotland, I humbly return you my very hearty Thanks: But these Considerations forbid me to entertain any hopes or further thoughts of such a remove.
1. The Experience of my great Weakness and decay of Strength, and particularly of this last Winter's Pain, and how much worse I am in Winter than in Summer, doth fully persuade me, That I shall live but a little while in Scotland, and that in a disabled, useless Condition, rather keeping my Bed than the Pulpit.
2. I am engaged in Writing a Book, which if I could hope to live to finish, is almost all the Service that I expect to do God and his Church, more in the World, (A Latin Methodus Theologiae;) And I can hardly hope to live so long, (it requiring yet near a Years labour more.) Now if I should go spend that one half Year, or Year, which should finish that Work in Travel, and the trouble of such a Removal, and then having intended Work undone, it would disappoint me of the ends of my Life: (For I live only for Work, and therefore should remove only for Work, and not for Wealth and Honour, if ever I remove.)
3. If I were there, all that I could hope for were liberty to Preach the Gospel of Salvation, and especially in some Vniversity among young Scholars. But I hear that you have enough already for this Work, that are like to do it better than I can.
4. I have a Family, and in it a Mother-in-Law of 80 Years of Age, of Honourable Extract, and great Worth, whom I must not neglect, and who cannot Travel. And it is to such a one as I, so great a business to remove a Family, and all our Goods, and Books so far, as deterreth me to think of it (having paid so dear for Removals these 8 Years, as I have done, and being but yesterday settled in a House which I have newly taken, and that with great trouble and loss of time.) And if I should find Scotland disagree with me (which I fully conclude of) to remove all back again.
All this concurreth to deprive me of this Benefit of your Lordship's Favour. But, my Lord, there are other Fruits of it, which I am not altogether hopeless of Receiving. When I am commanded to pray for Kings, and all in Authority, I am allowed the Ambition of this Preferment (which is all that ever I aspired after) to live a quiet and peaceable Life, in all Godliness and Honesty. Diu nimis habitavit anima mea inter osores pacis.
I am weary of the Noise of contentious Revilers, and have oft had Thoughts to go into a Foreign Land, if I could find any where I might have a healthful Air, and quietness, that I might but Live and Die in peace. When I sit in a Corner, and meddle with no Body, and hope the World will forget that I am alive, Court, City, and Country is still fill'd with Clamours against me; and when a Preacher wanteth Preferment, his way is to Preach, or write a Book against the Nonconformists, and me by Name: So that the Menstrua of the Press (and Pulpits of some) is some Bloody Invectives against my self, as if my Peace were inconsistent with the Kingdom's Happiness: And never did my Eyes read such impudent Untruths in Matter of Fact, as these Writings contain; and they cry out for Answers and Reasons of my Nonconformity, while they know the Law forbiddeth me to answer them (Unlicensed. I expect not that any Favour or Justice of my Superiours should Cure any of this: But,
1. If I might but be heard speak for my self, before I be judged by them, and such things believed. (For to contemn the Judgment of my Rulers, is to dishonour them.)
2. I might live quietly to follow my private Study, and might once again have the use of my Books (which I have not seen these ten Years, and pay for a Room for their standing at Kiderminster, where they are eaten with Worms and Rats, having no security for my quiet Abode in any place, enough to encourage me to send for them:) And if I might have the Liberty that every Beggar hath, to Travel from Town to Town, I mean, but to London, to over-fee the Press, when any thing of mine is Licensed for it. And,
3. If I be sent to Newgate for Preaching Christ's Gospel; (For I dare not sacrilegiously renounce my Calling to which I am Consecrated, per Sacramentum Ordinis) if I have the Favour of a better Prison, where I may but walk and write; These I should take as very great Favours, and acknowledge your Lordship my Benefactor if you procure them. For I will not so much injure you as to desire, or my Reason as to expect, any greater Matters; no not the Benefit of the Law. I think I broke no Law in any of the Preachings which I am accused of; and I most confidently think, that no Law imposeth on me the Oxford-Oath, any more than any Conformable Minister; and I am past doubting the present Mittimus for my Imprisonment is quite without Law. But if the Justices think otherwise now, or at any time, I know no Remedy. I have yet a License to Preach publickly in London-Diocess, under the Arch-bishop's own Hand and Seal, which is yet valid for occasional Sermons, tho' not for Lectures or Cures: But I dare not use it, because it is in the Bishop's power to recall it. Would but the Bishop (who one would think should not be against the Preaching of the Gospel) not re-call my License, I could preach occasional Sermons, which would absolve my Conscience from all Obligations to private Preaching. For 'tis not Maintenance that I expect: I never received a Farthing for my Preaching, to my Knowledge, since May 1, 1662. I thank God I have Food and Raiment without being chargeable to any Man; which is all that I desire; had I but leave to Preach for nothing; and that only where there is a notorious Necessity. I humbly Crave your Lordship's Pardon for the tediousness; and again return you my very great Thanks for your great Favours, remaining
My Lord, Your Lordship's Humble, Much Obliged Servant, Richard Baxter. Iune 24. 1670.
One Reason more also, as additional, moveth me, That the People of Scotland would have such jealous Thoughts of a Stranger, especially at this time, when Fame hath rung it abroad that I Conform, that I should do little good among them, and especially when there are Men enough among themselves, that are able, if Impediments were removed.