Poetical Fragments, Poem 12
12. The Return.
To the Tune of Paſ. Meſ. Galliard:
OR,
The common Pſalm Tunes.
1.
WHO was it that I left behind,
When I went laſt from home?
That now I all diſorder'd find,
When to my ſelf I come?
2.
I thought I had the door faſt lockt,
When I went laſt away:
And long might ſtrangers there have knockt,
If none had found my Key.
3.
When I was here the fire did burn,
That now is almoſt out:
Half dead with cold I ſit and mourn,
Perplext with many a doubt.
4.
I left it light, but now all's dark,
And I am fain to grope:
Were it not for one little ſpark,
I ſhould be out of hope.
5.
The Rooms I carefully did ſweep;
But now I find all foul:
Serpents do crawl, and Vermine creep,
In my polluted Soul.
6.
My Goſpel-Book I open left,
Where I the Promiſe ſaw:
But now I doubt it's loſt by theft,
I find none but the Law.
7.
And when my Soul I had undreſt,
And thought ſome eaſe to find:
I found diſtreſs inſtead of reſt,
Through anguiſh of my mind.
8.
For Thorns were put into my Bed,
Where I was wont to ſleep:
Grief is the pillow for my head,
On which I lie and weep.
9.
And if I ſlumber, up I ſtart:
My dreams awake my fears:
The thorns have pierced head and heart;
And drawn forth more than tears.
10.
The ſtormy Rain an entrance hath,
Through the uncovered top:
How ſhould I reſt when ſhowers of wrath
Upon my conſcience drop?
11.
My goods I fear are gone to waſte:
The beſt I cannot find:
The reſt are in diſorder caſt:
Which yet are left behind.
12.
I lock'd my Jewel in my Cheſt:
I'le ſearch leſt that be gone:
If this one Gueſt had quit my breaſt,
I had been quite undone.
13.
I know it's Sin that did all this:
For nothing elſe could do it:
I'le charge upon it all I miſs,
And with the Law purſue it.
14.
My treacherous fleſh hath plaid its part,
And opened Sin the Door:
And they have ſpoil'd and rob'd my heart,
And left it ſad and poor.
15.
How ſhall I ſee my Landlord's face?
How ſhall I pay his Rent?
When I have thus abus'd his grace;
And have his Treaſure ſpent?
16.
Yet have I one great truſty friend,
That will procure my Peace;
And all this loſs and ruine mend,
And purchaſe my releaſe.
17.
When I the Prodigal had plaid,
And all my Portion ſpent;
He told me he my Debts had paid,
And bade me but Repent.
18.
Yea this by his ſupply was done:
Whoſe Covenant bade me do it.
Becauſe I had not of my own,
So much as would ſerve to it.
19.
And after this when my falſe heart,
Forgot my Deareſt Lord;
He did perform a Saviour's part,
And ſtill my Soul reſtor'd.
20.
I fear'd leſt as but once he dy'd,
He would but once forgive:
But ſtill when in diſtreſs I try'd,
He did my Soul relieve.
21.
Still when He took me by the hand,
My Father on me ſmil'd:
Oft have I broken his Command,
And yet he call'd me Child.
22.
I know his Power: And for his Love,
It ſpoke by pains and blood:
Largely doth he his kindneſs prove,
And make his Promiſe good.
23.
Therefore I'le never more deſpair,
Nor take my ſelf for loſt:
For he will all my loſs repair,
Though at the deareſt coſt.
24.
Yea more, I have his hand to ſhew,
That when my Leaſe is out,
A Kingdom he'l on me beſtow;
He chides me if I doubt.
25.
I'le truſt on him, and uſe his Name,
Whatever be my need:
And I ſhall ſcape the wrath and ſhame,
And ſhall be ſure to ſpeed.
26.
And for that ſin that plaid the Thief,
I'le ſtop its poiſonous breath;
Or pine it with conſuming grief,
And famiſh it to death.
27.
And I'le take heed for time to come,
Of wandering abroad,
With my beſt conſtant friend at home,
I'le ſettle mine aboad.
28.
The Bellows I'le yet take in hand:
Till this ſmall ſpark ſhall flame.
Love ſhall my heart and tongue command,
To praiſe God's holy Name.
29.
Once more I mean to ſweep all clean,
And caſt out filthy ſin:
And Chriſt again I'le entertain,
And wait on him within.
30.
I'le mend the Roof: I'le watch the Door,
And better keep the Key:
I'le truſt my treacherous Fleſh no more,
But force it to obey.
31.
I'le make a Covenant with my eyes;
My tongue ſhall know its Law:
I'le all the baits of ſin deſpiſe,
And keep my heart in awe.
32.
My Bed ſhall be made ſoft by Love;
And there I'le take my reſt:
Or elſe I'le wake till I remove,
Where none dwell but the Bleſt.
33.
What have I ſaid? That I'le do this?
That am ſo falſe and weak?
And have ſo often done amiſs,
And did my Covenants break?
34.
I mean, Lord, All this ſhall be done,
If thou my heart wilt raiſe.
And as the work muſt be thine own;
So alſo ſhall the Praiſe.