The Mischiefs of Self-Ignorance, Part 26
Dir. 3. SƲbdue this inordinate ſelf-love, and bring yoar minds to a juſt impartiality in judging. Remember that ſelf-love is only powerful at your private bar: and it is not there that your cauſe muſt be finally decided: It can do nothing at the bar of God; It cannot there juſtifie, where it is condemned it ſelf: God will not ſo much as hear it, though you will hear none that ſpeak againſt it: ſelf-love is but the vicegerent of the grand Uſurper, that ſhall be depoſed and have no ſhew of power, at Chriſts appearing, when he will judge his enemies.
And here it will be a helpful courſe, to ſee your own ſin and miſery in others, and put the caſe as if it were theirs, and then ſee how you can diſcern the evil of it. O how eaſie is it with the moſt, to ſee and aggravate the faults of others? How ſafe were we if we were as impartial to ourſelves!
And alſo it will be very uſeful to deſire often the help of more impartial judgements then your own: Fit enim neſcio quomedo (inquit Cicero) ut magis in aliis cernamus, quam in nobis met ipſis, ſiquid delinquitur. Others can quickly ſpie our faults, as we can quickly find out theirs: Therefore as Poets and Painters do expoſe their works before they finiſh them, to the common view, that ſo what is blamed by many may be conſidered and amended; ſo ſhould we in order to the judging of our ſelves, obſerve both what our friends and enemies ſay of us, and the more ſuſpiciouſly try what others blame. But eſpecially have ſome neer judicious friends that will prudently and faithfully aſſiſt you. A true friend is an excellent looking-glaſs. Saith Seneca, Deliberate well firſt in the chooſing of a friend, and then with him deliberate of all things.
And if you would have the benefits of friendſhip, diſcourage not plain dealing. Magis amat objurgator ſanans (inquit Auguſt.) quam adulator diſſimulans. I know a reprover ſhould be wiſe, and love muſt be predominant if he will expect ſucceſs; for if he ſpeak laceráto animo, as Auguſtine ſaith, it will ſeem but punientis impetus and not corigentis charitas.) But we muſt take heed of judging that we are hated, becauſe we are reproved: that is, that a friend is not a friend, becauſe he doth the office of a friend. Of the two it is fitter to ſay of a reproving enemy, He dealeth with me like a friend] then of a reproving friend, He dealeth with me like an enemy:] For, as Auguſtine ſaith, Accuſare vitia officium eſt bonum, quod cum mali faciunt, alienas partes agunt] It is a good office to ſpeak ill of vice, which when bad men do, they play anothers part. It is a happy enmity that helpeth you to deliver you from ſin and hell: and a cruel friendſhip that will let you undoe your ſoul for ever, for fear of diſpleaſing you by hindering it.
There are two ſorts that deprive themſelves of the ſaving benefit of neceſſary reproof, and the moſt deſirable fruits of friendſhip: The one is the Hypocrite that ſo cunningly hideth his greateſt faults, that his friend and enemie never tell him of them: He hath the happineſs of keeping his phyſicion unacquainted with his diſeaſe, and conſequently of keeping the diſeaſe. The other is the Proud, that can better endure to be ungodly then to be told of it, and to live in many ſins, then to be freely admoniſhed of one.
Conſider therefore that it will prove ſelf-hatred in the effect, which is now called ſelf-love: and that it would ſeem but a ſtrange kind of love from another, to ſuffer you to fall into a Cole-pit, for fear of telling you that you are neer it; or to ſuffer you to fall into the enemies hands, leſt he ſhould affright you by telling you that they are neer: If you love another no better then thus, you have no reaſon to call your ſelf his friend; And ſhall this be your wiſeſt Loving of your ſelves? If it be Love to damn your ſouls for fear of knowing your danger of damnation, the Devil loveth you: If i… be friendſhip to keep you out of Heaven for fear of diſquieting you with the Light that ſhould have ſaved you, then you have no enemies in Hell. The Devil himſelf can be content to grant you a temporal quietneſs and eaſe, in order to your everlaſting diſquietneſs and woe. Let go your hopes of Heaven, and he can let you be merry a while on earth: while the ſtrong armed man keepeth his houſe, the things that he poſſeſſeth are in peace. If it be no… friendſhip but enmity to trouble you with the ſight of ſin and danger, in order to your deliverance, then you have none but enemies in Heaven: For God himſelf doth take this courſe, with the deareſt of his choſen. No ſtar doth give ſuch light as the Sun doth: No Miniſter doth ſo much to make a ſinner know himſelf, as God doth. Love yeur ſelves therefore in the way that God loveth you: Be impartially willing that God and man ſhould help you to be throughly acquainted with your ſtate; Love not to be flattered by others or your ſelves. Vice is never the more lovely becauſe it is yours: And you know that pain is never the more eaſie or deſirable to you, becauſe it is yours. Your own diſeaſes, loſſes, injuries, and miſeries, ſeem the worſt and moſt grievous to you: And why ſhould not your own ſins alſo be moſt grievous? You love not poverty, or pain, becauſe its your own; O love not ſin becauſe it is your own.