Exposition of Colossians, Sermons · Chapter 3 · Verse 17
VER. 17. Wiues ſubmit yourſelues vntounto your husbands, as it is comelie in the Lord.
The Apoſtle hauing abſolued the firſt part of this Chapter containing an exhortation to all Chriſtians, generally as they are Chriſtians and profeſſors of the Goſpel, from the firſt verſe hitherto in this 18. verſe.
Hee enters on the ſecond part of it, and hee continues that to the 2. verſe of the 4. Chapter,The ſecond part of this Chapter. and this part is a comprehenſion of certaine ſpeciall duties of Chriſtians they ſtand in relation one to another in ſome particular ſtate, or condition of life; it containes ſpeciall exhortations addreſſed to certaine ſorts of perſons,The Apoſtles order in this part of the Chapter. and particularly, and (namely) to all the ordinarie parts of a familie, both inferiours, and ſuperiours.
And therein the Apoſtle holds this order.
Firſt, hee exhorts to the duties of thoſe that are more neerely and ſtraitly tyed one to another, as to the duties of husbands, and wiues, parents, and children.
And then to the duties of thoſe who are leſſe ſtraitly tied one to another, as maſters, and ſeruants: and thorowout he begins with the duty of inferiours, as wiues, children, ſeruants, and then comes to the duties of ſuperiors, husbands, parents, and maſters.
Heere therefore, firſt the Apoſtle begins with the duty of wiues, and ſaith, Wiues ſubmit your ſelues vntounto your huſbands as it is comely in the Lord.
And in this verſe we hauehave theſe things in generall laid before vsus.
Firſt, an exhortatiō to wiues, to ſubmit themſelus to their husbands and that generally, or indefinitely propounded.
Secondly, an argument to backe and ſtrengthen that exhortation, taken from the decorum, comelineſſe, and decencie of it, that it is a comely and decent thing for them ſo to doe. And then,
Thirdly, the manner of their ſubiection, or a limitation of that dutie of their ſubiection, that it muſt bee in the Lord, in the laſt words, in the Lord.
(Submit your ſelues) The word properly ſignifieth, be ordered,Interpretation. or placed in order vnderunder another, the meaning is according to your inferiour order and place, ſubiect your ſelues, it is the ſame word with that, Rom. 13.1. (To your husbands) the words are to your owne husbands, as it is comely, or as it is meet, and as it beſeemes you (in the Lord) the meaning of that forme of ſpeech, is thus much, ſo farre foorth as it may ſtand with the true feare of God, and with your obedience to his will, ſo as you may ſtill hold piety, and good conſcience towards God, as wee may gather by the ſame phraſe, 1 Cor. 7.39. Or thus, in things lawfull, and agreeable to the will of the Lord.
Thus then, conceiue wee the exhortation of the Apoſtle, as if he had ſaid, Wiues according to your inferiour order and place,The meaning of the text. ſubiect your ſelues to your owne Husbands ſuffer your ſelues to be ordered by them, as it is meet, and beſeemes you, ſo farre foorth as may ſtand with the true feare of God, and obedience to his will in things lawfull, and agreeable to the will of God.
Come we now to the matter of the doctrine; and firſt obſerue we,Obſeru. that the Apoſtle hauing exhorted to generall duties that concerne all Chriſtians, as they are Chriſtians; he there ſtaies not, but comes now to exhort to ſpeciall duties, that concerne certaine ſorts of perſons particularly; hee comes to exhort to the duties that concerne Chriſtians in their perſonall eſtates, and conditions of life.
Hence we are taught thus much.
That it is not enough for a Chriſtian to carry himſelfe well, and as a Chriſtian in the generall duties of a Chriſtian, but hee muſt alſo behaue himſelfe Chriſtianly in the ſpeciall duties of his ſpeciall calling.A Chriſtian muſt not only carrie himſelfe well in the generall duties of Chriſtianity, but alſo in the ſpeciall duties of his ſpeciall calling. Its not ſufficient for a Chriſtian to be of good conuerſation abroad, but his behauiour muſt be alſo good and ſuch as it ought to be at home.
And hence it is that the holy Ghoſt directs his exhortation to ſeuerall ſorts of perſons (eſpecially in the family) to carrie themſelues holily and iuſtly, not onelyonly heere, but in other places of Scripture, as Epheſ. 5. & 6. 1 Pet. 2. and 3. Tit. 2.
And the reaſons of this are manifeſt, Reaſons.
Firſt, eueryevery Chriſtian hauing two callings: one general to be a Chriſtian, and the other ſpeciall, as to bee an huſband, a wife, a father, &c. and both theſe of God, it behooues him that he carry himſelfe well, both in the one, and in the other, if he will approue himſelfe to God.
And againe, eueryevery Chriſtian beſides his generall ſtanding, in which hee is to withſtand the common enemy, and to ſet himſelfe againſt temptations to ſinne common to him with others, hee hath his peculiar place and ſtanding appointed him by the Lord, in which he is to bend his force, and to ſtriue againſt temptations to ſinne proper to that place, ſuch temptations as are laid againſt him in that his peculiar place and calling, and it is meet that he ſhew himſelfe faithfull in them both, that both in his generall and peculiar calling, he withſtand temptations to ſinne, and therefore a Chriſtian muſt not onelyonly carrie himſelfe well in the generall duties of a Chriſtian, but he muſt alſo demeane himſelfe as a Chriſtian in the duties of his particular ſtate and condition of life.
They therefore are iuſtly to bee blamed and reprooued Ʋſe 1 who happily make a faire ſhew of good conuerſation in their generall calling,Reproofe of thoſe who carrie themſelues well in ſhew in their generall calling, and yet faile in the duties of their ſpeciall calling. and yet carrie themſelues badly in their ſpeciall, they who would faine ſeeme to bee good Chriſtians abroad, and yet behaue themſelues wretchedlie at home, too many ſuch there be in the world. For example, look vponupon a people aſſembled to heare the word of God, and you ſhall ſee, there is almoſt no man or woman amongſt them but they carrie themſelues reuerently, all, and eueryevery one almoſt is a like reuerent and attentiue in hearing the word, and eueryevery one almoſt, ſeemes to make conſcience of that generall dutie in the Church, but goe home with many of them to their houſes, and looke into their conuerſation at home, and there you ſhall eaſily ſee they make no conſcience of their ſpeciall duties, of duties that concerne them in their particular ſtate and condition of life, there you ſhall ſee either the wife refuſing to ſubiect her ſelfe to her husband, or the husband bitter to his wife, the children ſtubborne and diſobedient to their parents, or the parents too indulgent, or too rigorous towards their children; ſeruants refractarie and careleſſe in their duties, or maſters vniuſt and vnequall in their dealings toward their ſeruants; yea, in ſome houſes you ſhal ſee all parts out of order, both husband, wife, and all the reſt, neglecting the duties of their particular place and ſtanding.
And againe, are there not ſome who carry themſelues in Chriſtian duties, which they owe to men; well, and without exception towards moſt men abroad in publike, but towards them, to whom they ſtand in ſome ſpeciall relation, wretchedly, and wickedly? As the wife carries her ſelfe well, and in ſome tolerable ſort towards all, ſaue to her husband, and the husband demeanes himſelfe well, and giues ſome content to all ſaue his wife, and ſo in other relations.
Now conſider we this, is this to carrie our ſelues as Chriſtians ought to doe? No, no, this is but the forme of godlineſſe without the power of it, as the apoſtle calles it, 2 Tim. 3.5. this is but meere hypocriſie; is it like thou behaueſt thy ſelfe well (for conſcience ſake) towards them to whom thou oweſt but a generall duty, and not to thoſe to thoſe to whom beſides the generall thou art tied with a ſpeciall bond? no, no, it is but for thy credit, or thy profit, thou diſguiſeſt thy ſelfe abroad; for ſuch a one thou art indeede, as thou art at home, there is the principall proofe and triall of thee what thou art, and euer remember this; it is not enough for a Chriſtian to carry himſelfe in generall dueties as a Chriſtian, but hee muſt alſo carry himſelfe well in the ſpeciall dueties of his particular place and calling, and the practiſe of the one without the other is but hypocriſie, and it is worth our marking, that the holy Ghoſt doth heere ſingle out the dueties and conditions of men and women ſeuerally, and hee ſpeakes to wiues apart, and to husbands apart &c. thereby to leaue vsus without all excuſe: if wee bee not conformable euen in our particular dueties in this or that ſtate or condition of life, for that which is ſpoken to al (ſuch is our corruption) wee commonly put it off, as if it were ſpoken to none, but this wee cannot ſo paſſe ouer; no, no, not ſo much as with any colourable excuſe, that may ſatiſfie our owne ſinfull corruption and ill iudging conſcience.
Obſerue further that the Apoſtle in ſetting downe the ſpeciall duties of ſeuerall ſorts of perſons, hee begins firſt with the inferiours, as firſt hee teacheth the duety of wiues and then of Husbands &c. and this order hee obſerues in other places, heereby teaching vsus.
That when wee are to deale with perſons of ſeuerall Doct. 2 eſtates and conditions and to informe them in their duties, wee are rather to beginne with the inferiours then with the ſuperiours,When we are to inform perſons of ſeuerall conditiōs in their duties we are rather to begin with the inferiours then the ſupeperiours. as when wee are to make peace betweene the inferiour and ſuperiour, as ſeruants and Maſters: wee are firſt to beginne with the inferiour, the ſeruant ſhewing him his fault, and letting him ſee his duetie, and then in the ſecond place with the ſuperiour for ſo much the fifth commaundement teacheth vsus.
The Lord doth there directly teach the inferiour his duty, and the ſuperiour by implication, but on that I will not further ſtand.
Come wee to the ſpeciall duety heere vrged, namely, the duty of wiues, that they bee ſubiect to their huſbands, in handling this duety, I will obſerue this order keeping as neere as can bee,The order obſerued in handling the duty of wiues which is the third doctrin. within compaſſe of the Apoſtles words.
Firſt, I will ſhew what this ſubiection is.
Secondly, wherein it doth conſiſt.
Thirdly, the generalitie of it, touching the perſons whom it concernes.
Fourthly, how farre foorth it is to bee yeelded, and then after ſome particular examination touching the practiſe of this duty, I will vſe ſome motiues to ſtirre vppe them whom it concernes to the perfourmance of it.
What the wiues ſubiection is.Firſt therefore know we, that this ſubiection is an humble, a ready and willing minde in the wife, yeelding to the gouernment of her husband, as to the ordinance of God; for indeede ſo hath the Lord ordained, that the wife ſhould bee ſubiect to her husband, Gen. 3.16. thy deſire ſhall be to thine husband, and this ſubiection muſt be of an humble and ready minde, our preſent text makes it cleare, in that the Apoſtle ſayth, wiues ſubmit your ſelues which is as much as if hee had ſayd, bee not conſtrained, to it, but of a ready minde, of your owne accord, euen willingly ſubiect your ſelues to the gouernement of your husbands, acknowledging the ordinance of God, and reſting in it, and this alſo is taught, Epheſ. 5.22. where the Apoſtle ſayth, wiues ſubmit your ſelues vntounto your husbands, as vntounto the Lord, that is, not as to man, and to the eye outward, or by conſtraint, but ſincerely, and from your hearts as to the Lord himſelfe, the huſband being in Gods ſtead, and verſe 24. in that hee ſaith, wiues are to bee in ſubiection to their husbands as the Church is to Chriſt, he plainely teacheth that their ſubiection muſt bee of a ready and willing minde for the Church, the true ſpouſe of Chriſt is ſubiect to Chriſt willingly, ſincerely, and from the heart. Now this humble, ready, and willing ſubiection of the wife to her husband, doth conſiſt in two things, namely, in reuerence, and in obedience,The ſubiection of rhe wife to her husband is in two things, in reuerence and obedience. the wiues ſubiection to her husband, muſt bee in a reuerent awe of her husband, & in obedience to him, we find it ſo branched out in the word of God, Eph. 5.33. ſaith the Apoſtle, let the wife ſee that ſhe feare her husband (that is) ſhe muſt carry in her minde a reuerent opinion of her husband, & in her heart a reuerent awe and feare to offend him, acknowledge him as her head, and ſo her feare towards her husband muſt not be a ſlauiſh feare but a feare of louelove ſuch as is from the bodie to the head, and from the Church to Chriſt, euen of a louing affection fearing to offend her husband in any thing, and ſhewing foorth that, her inward louing feare, by outward meekneſſe and lowlineſſe in her ſpeech, countenance, and all her behauiour towards him.
And againe, her ſubiection to her husband muſt bee in obedience to him, doing what hee giues in charge to bee done, and forbearing to doe that hee forbiddes, wee find that both theſe were in Sara towards Abraham, her huſband, 1. Pet. 3.6. Sara obeyed Abraham, and called him Sir, the Apoſtle propounds her example to bee followed of all Chriſtian wiues, they are to carrie in their hearts a reuerent aw of their husbands, ſhewing it forth in al meekneſſe of ſpeech and geſture, and they are to yeeld obedience to them in word and deed.
Now the extent of the wiues ſubiection,The duty of ſubiection in the wife to her husband reacheth to all wiues whatſoeuer they be. the third thing that I propounded to ſpeake of, is implied in the firſt words of this verſe (Wiues) in that the Apoſtle ſpeakes generally and indefinitely, and ſaith, wiues ſubiect your ſelues to your husbands, hee giues vsus to vnderſtand.
That this duty of ſubiection is generall and common, and reacheth to all wiues, high or low, rich or poore, noble or baſe, and there is no exemption of any wife whatſoeuer ſhe be, from this duty of ſubiection to her husband, though the wife bee very wiſe, and more fit to gouerne, and the husband of meaner parts and weaker iudgement, if hee hauehave any vſe of reaſon at all, if hee bee not a man franticke or madde, one altogether bereft of the vſe of reaſon; if hee be ſo, then doubtleſſe the wife is not bound to ſubiect her ſelfe to his gouernement, but rather to take on her to bee his guide and his gouernour, for the power of gouernment beeing taken away, ſubiection depending on it, ceaſeth; but if hee hauehave the vſe of reaſon, bee it but in a ſmall meaſure, ſhee is not exempt from ſubiection, though ſhee bee neuer ſo wiſe, if ſhee bee a wife, ſhee muſt bee ſubiect, ſhee muſt yeeld reuerence and obedience to her husband, vnleſſe ſhee will ſhake off the yoke the Lord hath layd on her necke, and breake in ſunder the cords of Gods holy ordinance.
Concerning the fourth thing, namely, how far foorth ſubiection is to be yeelded by the wife to her husband,How farre foorth ſubiection is to bee yeelded by the wife to her husband. eſpecially in that branch of it namely, obedience, it is laid before vsus in the laſt words of this ver. (in the Lord) cōſidred together with the laſt words of Eph. 5.24. ſo let wiues be to their husbands in eueryevery thing that generall is heere limited, & we are to vnderſtand that theſe words put toge-thus, that the wife is to bee ſubiect and obedient to her husband in eueryevery thing in the Lord (that is) in euerie thing honeſt and lawfull, in eueryevery thing commanded by the husband, not contrary or different from the word of God, the wife is to yeelde obedience, but if husbands command their wiues vnlawful things, therin they are not to bee ſubiect nor obedient to them; Luke the fourteenth and twenty ſix, hee that loueth father or mother, or wife, or children; and ſo of the husband, ſhe that loues her huſband more then Chriſt, and in obeying her husband diſobeyes Chriſt, is not his diſciple, but if the husband command his Wife any indifferent or lawfull thing ſhee is to yeeld obedience without gaineſaying, though it bee neuer ſo croſſe and contrary to her owne minde; as if her husband ſay to her, I will not hauehave thee thus or thus attired, but thus or thus (not commanding any new fangled or whoriſh attire, but ſuch as is comely) ſhee is to conforme her ſelfe to his mind, and if he bid further, goe to ſuch a place, whether ſhe may lawfully go, (being not to a play-houſe or the like) though ſhe hauehave no minde to goe, or if he bid her tarry at home when ſhe hath a minde to bee abroade, if ſhe cannot perſwade him to the contrary: in theſe things ſhe is to obey him, for indeede in theſe things the commaundements of the husband hath Gods ſtampe ſet on them, and if in theſe things and ſuch like things the wife diſobey, ſhee rebels againſt God himſelfe.
Now if wiues do examine themſelues by this that hath beene ſaide, Vſe. I feare mee moſt wiues will bee found farre ſhort, and much wanting in their duety towards their husbands, to come a little to the triall, doſt thou willingly, ſincerely, and from thy heart yeeld due reuerence to thy husband?Particular examination of wiues touching their duty towards their husbāds, and their failings therein diſcouered. Doſt thou carry in thine heart a louing awe and feare towards him as to thy head and gouernour, ſet ouer thee by the Lord, fearing to offend him in any thing eyther by ſpeech or geſture? I feare mee if moſt wiues anſwer theſe queſtions truely, their anſwer muſt be negatiue, and they muſt needs confeſſe they doe not. The vnreuerent behauiour of many wiues towards their husbands is too palpable, are there not ſome who care not to ſhew themſelues in the ſight of all that looke on them ſo farre from yeelding reuerence to their husbands, as they ſticke not to ſcoffe and ſcorne them, to tuſh and puffe at them, and to cut them vp ſhort in words? yea ſome there bee who care not to breake out into groſſe termes and bitter words againſt their husbands, yea, which is moſt fearefull ſometimes to curſe their husbands, whom they ſhould reuerence and feare.
Object. My husband is a froward frampell man, and he alwaies begins with me.
Anſw. Bee it ſo, that is his fault, yet that is no excuſe for thee, thou art to beare his frowardneſſe as thy croſſe with patience, and not thereby to be driuen from thine owne dutie.
Now for the ſecond branch of ſubiection (obedience) are there not many wiues as much wanting in that as in the former? ſurely yes, it is too euident. Some there be, who ſticke not to vtter it, that they will doe this or that, yea ſometimes they binde it with an oath, they will doe it, let their husbands ſay what they can to the contrary, or they will not doe that hee would hauehave them (being a thing lawfull) though hee would neuer ſo faine; to inſiſt in one particular, are there not ſome wiues, who if their husbands bid them leaue of this or that apparell, as too fine or coſtly in the matter, or too gariſh in the manner, will preſently anſwer him they will not? yea, ſome are ſo ſhameleſſe, as to anſwer in this manner, let him ſay or doe what hee can, I will hauehave it ſo, thus, and many wayes beſides, wiues diſcouer the rebellion of their hearts, in vnreuerent and vndutifull behauiour towards their husbands, yea, they are hardly drawen to this duety of ſubiection, it is an hard matter to perſwade them to it, becauſe the wife is yoke-fellow with her husband, and neerely knit to him, euen one fleſh with him, and therefore many wiues thinke it vnreaſonable, and too much laid on them, in that they are inioined to be ſubiect to their husbands.Foure motiues to perſwade wiues to performe their duty to their huſbands.
Now then to perſwade with them to yeeld to this duty, let them conſider onelyonly theſe things.
Firſt, ſuch wiues as refuſe to ſubiect themſelues to their husbands, inuert the order of nature, it is as if the bodie ſhould refuſe to be guided by the head.
Secondly, they breake the ordinance of God, yea, a moſt ancient ordinance of God, for euen in mans innocency, before the fall was, woman by Gods ordinance ſubiect to her husband with pleaſure, and if thou bee not nowe ſubiect to thine husband, thou breakeſt the cords of Gods ordinance, and pretend what thou wilt, that thou art ſubiect to other ſuperiours and gouernours, indeede and truth there is no ſuch thing in thee, but an intolerable pride, ſwelling againſt all ſuperiority as occaſion ſerues, for how canſt thou ſtoop vnderunder other yokes, and yet wilt not bow downe thy necke to this, of all other the moſt ancient and the moſt eaſie.
Thirdly, conſider the Apoſtles wordes in this place, that it is a comely thing for the wife to bee ſubiect to her husband, and the want of this or the contrary to it, is an vncomely and vnſeemely thing, ſeeſt thou a woman not ſubiect to her husband? ſhee is an vncomely and loathſome creature in the ſight of God, though her face be neuer ſo faire, her beauty is but as a ring of gold in a ſwines ſnout, Prou. 11.22.
Laſt of all, the want of ſubiection in the wife to her huſband, is as the want of teaching in a Miniſter, and the want of iuſtice in a Magiſtrate, it is a blot and blemiſh to all her other good qualities and vertues bee they neuer ſo excellent, admit ſhee bee deſcreete, chaſte, ſober, &c. yet if ſhee bee not ſubiect to her husband, ſhee cauſeth the worde of God to bee ill ſpoken of, Tit. 2.5. and that makes all her other good qualities nothing woorth, it brings a blot on them all, ſeeme ſhee neuer ſo religious, if ſhee bee not ſubiect to her husband, ſhee hath but a ſhew of religion without the power of it.
Let all Chriſtian wiues thinke on theſe things, it is not ſo light a matter as many women thinke, to bee vnreuerent and vndutifull towardes their husbands, thereby they preuert the order of nature, they vioiate the ordinance of God, they make themſelues odious in the ſight of God, they blemiſh all the good things that are in them, yea, thereby they make it plaine, that their religion is but a ſhew without ſubſtance, it will neuer yeeld them ſound comfort, bee thou therefore thou wife (whoſoeuer thou art) ſtirred vp in the feare of God, to yeeld ſubiection to thy husband, lay aſide all reaſonings of the fleſh to the contrary, labor thou to ſubdue al thy rebellious thoughts, and neuer reſt till thou bee able with a willing minde, to ſhew thy ſelfe reuerent towards thine husband, and obedient to him in all lawfull things, and remember who it is that requires this duty, at thine hands, euen the Lord, who hath made thee of nothing, redeemed thee (if thou belong to him) with the bloud of his owne deare Sonne, and preſerued thee from thy birth, giuing thee foode, rayment, and all good things, and let theſe mooue thee to become obedient to his voyce, and hee ſaying to thee, wife ſubmit thy ſelfe to thine husband, let thine heart anſwer him, I am content to doe thy will O Lord, yea, thy Law is within mine heart to doe it, and then doubtleſſe thou ſhalt he a woman much ſet by before God, 1. Pet. 3.4. and many bleſſings ſhall come on thee, and ouertake thee.