The Mystery of Self-Deceiving, Chapter 21
CHAP: XXI.
Of foure deceites of the heart in practising.
NOw we are come to the fourth, and last head 4. In practising where theof the first kinde of the selfe-deceiuing of the heart, namely the deceitfulnesse which is in practisinge. And this shewes it selfe in diuers particulars.
1 The deceitfulnesse of heart in practising appeareth in the ficklenesse and vncertainety thereof; I. Deceit is in the hearts ficklenes in goodwhereby it commeth to passe, that we cannot hold on a constant tenour in any good course, without making of many interruptions. Many begin to enter into such, and such good waies of repentance, and reformation, but they soone grow weary, and breake off. Nebuchadnezar, seeing the excellent propheticall spirit of Daniel in interpreting his dreame, was so affected, that only Daniels god must be the Dan. 2. 47.true God. And yet this lasted not long. For within a little while after, for all this, his Idole must bee worshipped vnderunder paines of death. And after this the sight of the miracle in the three childrens deliuerie, Chap. 3. 5.that the fire, which was fire to burne the bondes wherewith they were tied, was no fire so much as to sindge their apparrell, how did it further worke vponupon him, and wring from him the acknowledgement of the true God: yet, for all this, not long after we may see him ietting it in his palace, and as proudly, as euer, aduauncing himselfe aboue the Lord. Neither is it thus only with the wicked, but in the godly also themselues, in the true practise of godlinesse, though not in like manner. whence it is, that they finde such vneuenesse in their liues, that they are so off, and on, so out, and in, now in good frame, but by and by sensibly distempered, and altogether vnlike themselues. Sometimes how are wee hoysed vp to the very skies, in abundance of pure, and heauenly meditations, and consolations, as it were rapt vp with Paul into paradise, or ascending in Elias fiery chariot into heauen? Otherwhile againe cast downe into the very deepes of hel, not able to pray, heare, meditate with any feeling of comfort. Sometimes in praier transformed in our soule (so are we rauished) as Christ was in body, when hee prayed. Otherwhile Luc. 9. 29.againe as heauie in praier, as the sleepie disciples with Christ in the garden; the wings of our faith being clipt, our praiers lie groueling on the ground. Sometimes so comfortable, and couragious, that we can say with Dauid, Though I were in the valley of death, yet would I feare none ill: otherwhile againe Psalm. 23. 4.so deaded, and deiected in our spirits, that we are like him, when he said, One day I shall die by the 1. Sam. 27. 1.hand of Saul. Sometimes so strong in faith, that we can ouercome the greatest dangers, and with Peter can walke vponupon the swelling waues: By and by so faint, and brought to so low an ebbe that wee fall downe euen in farre lesser dangers; as Peter began to sinke at the rising of the winde. Sometimes so patient, that we can quietly beare the greatest indignities▪ presently after so impatient, that we cannot put vp the smallest vnkindnesses. As Dauid patient in Sauls persecution, impatient in Nabals discurtesie. To conclude. In the hearing of the word, how doe wee feele sometimes our hearts to burne, and glowe within vsus? O the heauenly affections we then feele inkindled! ô the sweete disposition, and frame our hearts bee in then! little would wee thinke then, that afterward we should be so much cooled, as we are very quickly after our departure from this fire, and comming into the friezing aire of the world. In which regard, as Chrysostome saies, the ministers hauehave the greater trouble, because they neuer finde their worke as they left it, as other workemen do, the smith, the ioiner, &c. who Hom. 13. ad pop. Antioch.as they left their worke in the euening, so they find it in the morning: but ministers shall finde their worke altogether put out of frame, and order, by reason of our deceitfull heartes, that steale from vsus those good affections wee had before. If a horse naturally trot and for some space of time hath accustomed himselfe thereto, though by art he bee broken, and made amble, yet in journying he will be, euer and anon, offering to go out of his amble into his trot. So regenerate men, because naturally their hearts are euill, though in part mortified by grace, they hauehave learned to doe well, yet, euer and anon, they hauehave experience of the readines of their hearte to breake out into their ould courses. Corruption in them will hauehave some flurtes. Our heart is the instrument wee must worke with, in the seruice of God. But a deceitfull instrument will not hold out in working. No more will our deceitfull heart in the seruing of God.
The second point of deceitfulnesse in this kind is in II. Deceit, the slipperines in the very act of performance.the slipperinesse of our heartes; whereby it comes to passe, that they giuegive, both God, and our selues, the slippe, whilest they are in the performance of good exercises. As when in praier, meditation, and hearing of the word they slily steale away, and play the fugitiues, caried away with idle, and wandring imaginations. This deceitfulnesse the most holy hauehave miserable experience of; their heartes herein dealing with them, as if our seruant imployed in some busines together with our selues, in the middest of the worke should priuily steale away, wee not marking, or minding of him. That holy father Austen felt this, and bewailed it in himselfe, that in his most serious meditations of heauenly things his mind was easily distracted by the slightest Confess. 10. 35occasions. Concerning the which hee thus writeth, Let eueryevery man therfore marke and consider in psal. 86.what doings there are within in the hart, how often times our praiers themselues are interrupted with vaine thoughtes, so that our heart can hardly stand stil with God. Though yet it would lay hold on it selfe and so make it selfe to stay with him, yet in a sort it flieth away as it were from it selfe, neither can it finde any boundes wherby it may keep in it selfe from flying away in her wandring motions, that so tarying still with the Lord it may be refreshed with sweete delights by him. Hardly among many of our praiers meet we with such a praier. EueryEvery one would be ready to say that this were so only with him, and that others were not troubled in like manner, vnlesse we had heard Dauid in a certaine place saying, Therfore thy seruant hath founde his heart to pray vntounto 2. Sam. 7. 27. cleared by Austen. Dixit se inuenire cor suū, quasi soleret fugere, & ille sequi quasi fugitiuū, & non comprehendere, & clamare ad Dominum, &c. Psalm. 38.thee. Lo he saies that he found his heart, as though his heart were wonte to flie away from him, and he faine to runne after this fugitiue, & being not able to catch it himselfe, to cry to the Lord, my heart hath left me. So farre Austen, excellently seting forth this deceitfulnes of our hearts. Would we not count him a deceitfull friend, who, when we should hauehave greatest vse of him, would then be sure to be out of the way? Alike deceitfull must our heartes needes be, the chiefest instrument wherwith we are to serue the Lord. And yet when Gods seruice is to be performed of vsus, our hearts are then to finde, they hauehave runne away from vsus, and so, when we should seeke God, we must first go seeke our selues.
The third deceit is, when our heartes doe priuily, III. Deceit, secret foisting in of corruption into good actions.and secretly, we scarse perceiuing it, foist in, and closely conuaie some corruption into our good actions, euen then, when wee are in the very acte of performance. And with this deceit are euen the children of God themselues exceedingly troubled. For howsoeuer they propound not to themselues any of these by, and base respects of praise, and vaine glory &c. in their good actions, but rather do set themselues against them; yet these things doe come in by stealth, and slily insinuate, and wind in themselues into their hearts, as once the serpent into the garden. So fitlie in this regarde doth the Prophet call our heart deceitfull, in that word, in the originall, from whence Iakob had his name, because our fleshly hearts do the same thing to the spirit, in doing of good, which Iakob did to his brother, comming out of the wombe, as it were supplant it, and catch it by the heele, when it is in running of the Christian race; for what els doe they, when they intrude, and obtrude vponupon vsus their own carnall, and corrupt affections? looke how those Samaritanes would hauehave had their finger in the building of the temple with the Iewes, namelie with a purpose to hauehave destroyed it; and looke how Iehu offered sacrifice to Baal, killing his priests at the same time: and looke how Hushai went to Absaloms company to ouerthrow him. A like deale our harts with vsus, needes will they intermeddle in our good actions, but it is but to rob vsus of them, by transforming them into sin, through the mixture of their corruption. For when there springs vp any sweete fountaines of grace within vsus, then doe they closely (as once the Philistims dealt with Isacks welles, which he had digged) cast in their filthy dirt, and dust, and stop them vp therewith. They droppe downe from their impure hands some filth, vponupon that pure webbe the spirit weaueth, and so make it a monstruous cloath. They cunningly put in their leauen into the spirits dough, and so sowre it, and make it distastfull to the Lord. When sometime the spirit of grace is offering to put forth it selfe, as once Zarah in Thamars wombe, yet, by reason of this deceitfulnesse of our hearts, it recoyles presently, and goes backe, so as Zarah did, and the flesh like Perez, that steppes before it; and so as they were deceiued, when Zarahs hand was first seene, so wee often, when we feele our selues making some offers towards God. For as …eauish cony-catchers, watching the times when honest men are to go to some solemnity of feasting, craftily thrust in themselues, that they may filch some thing away: so where grace is to imploy her selfe, corruption wil be sure to hauehave an oare in this boate, and to interest it selfe in the good action, that it may by this meanes steale away the best part of our comfort therein: As in the louelove of grace and vertue in good women, it comes sometimes to passe, that the impure, and filthy louelove of lust, and concupiscence, by certaine jugglinge feates of conueiance, cogges in it selfe. Therefore S. Paul writing to Timothie, a man rarely mortified, biddeth him yet to exhort younger women with purenesse, or chastly; because, 1. Tim. 5. 2. foreignthrough the deceitfulnesse of his heart, euen then, whilest he was exhorting them to chastity, some vnchast motions might come creeping into his owne heart, and steale vponupon him vnawares. And so in preaching, while the minister is stirring vp others, to the zeale of gods glory, through this deceitfulnesse of heart, it comes to passe, too often, that thoughtes of pride, and vaine glory poppe in themselues, to defile, and deface the glory of the worke. In which regard Austen saies, that it is harder to preach holily, then to heare, writing vponupon that of Dauid, Thou shalt make me to heare the voyce of ioy, and gladnesse, which he reades something In Psal. 50.otherwise, thus. Thou shalt giuegive ioy to my hearing. Whereupon he thus writeth. The hearers Faeliciores sunt qui audiunt &c.of the word are more happy then the speakers. The learning hearer may be humble. But the speaker he must striue against pride, and the desire of pleasing men, that they closly creep not in vponupon him, and cause him to displease God, &c. The like deceit are we subiect vntounto in prayer also. Witnesse Ionahs example, of whom it is said, that he then Ionah. 4. 2.prayed, when indeed he did nothing but quarrell with God. Read the wordes of that his praier, and yee shall finde nothing prayer-like in them. They seeme rather to be a braule, then a praier. How then is he said to pray? No doubt feeling his weaknesse in giuing place to anger, he thought to striue against it, and in this good minde addressed himselfe to praier: but yet, loe the deceitfulnesse of his heart, while by prayer hee thought to hauehave ouercome his anger, anger ouer came him and his praier too, turning it into a jangling, and wrangling expostulation with the Lord. Thus otherwhile men setting themselues to meditate against some sinne, in the very acte of meditation hauehave been insnared therein. For as in speaking against some sinnes, it falles out that others sometime are taught to practise them, (which was Solons reason of making no-lawes against the killing of our parents, least by forbidding it he should teach it) so also in thinking against some sinnes, our selues may be caught. And when men in their thoughtes hauehave beene framing their mindes to reconciliation with their aduersaries, in the remembrance of the iniurie receiued they hauehave been further incensed, then before. Peter did well to aske the question, Maister shad we draw Luc. 22.the sword. He did not aske this question as the princes in Ieremie, whether they should go downe into Ier. 42.Aegypt, being before resolued to go downe, whatsoeuer the Prophet should answere. No, we are not to thinke that Peter had made a resolute answere to his question before he made it, being fully purposed to draw, before he asked the question. No, he did not so fouly dissemble. But in asking the question he seemed to bee framing his mind to more moderation, and willing to be aduised, & directed by Christ, but yet withall exasperated with the insolency of the aduersary, and indignity of the fact, he could not hold his minde in that temper of moderation, to stay the answer of the question, but euen in asking drew, the deceitfulnesse of his hearte preuenting Christs answer. So againe oftentimes in many of our actions, where we thinke we do intend a good end, and doe indeed in some sort intend it, there yet withall, vnderunder hand, gets into our mindes the consideration of some other sinister, and crooked respect. As Moses pretended to the Lord, that the conscience of his owne weakenesse, and insufficiency made him so fearefull of vndertaking the office he imposed vponupon him, least by this meanes Gods glory should be foiled in him. Neither did he altogether dissemble therein. But withall there secretly lurked another matter beside the feare of himselfe, namely the feare of Pharaoh, least he would hauehave reuenged the Aegyptians quarrell vponupon him. And therefore God seeing that, said vntounto him, Arise Moses, go thy waies, they are dead that seeke thy life. So when we desire that our children, or others vnderunder our charge, should thriue in godlinesse, this is a good desire; but how often doe the eies of our mindes looke a squint at Gods glory heerein; and (whatsoeuer our own pretences & conceits may be) like Demetrius pretending Dianaes glory against Pauls doctrine, when yet it was his owne gaine he more specially intended, how often are we Acts 19. 27.carried away with a respect of our selues, that wee might reape some credit, in the good successe of our labours? And therfore excellently the Apostle, purging himselfe of this corruption, writeth thus vntounto the Corinthians. Now I pray to God that ye do no euill. The Corinthians might obiect. Thou thus prayest 2. Cor. 13. 7.not so much for our good, as for the credit of thine owne ministery. The Apostle therefore by way of preuention addes, not that wee should seeme approued, hauing our labours thus blessed: but that ye should do that which is honest, though wee bee as reprobates; in an honest desire of your owne good doe wee desire it, without any respect of our selues. Againe, when the children of God are humbled and cast downe in godly sorrow for their smaller sinnes, often vponupon this occasion, the heart beginneth to conceiue thoughts of pride, O there are few that take notice of such small sinnes, or are so touched for them, as I. And so the theefe pride, steales away our humilitie, as it doth also all our other graces, it beeing almost all one to be simplie proud as to be proud because of our humility, to be vncleane, as to bee proud because of our chastitie, &c.
The fourth deceit of the hart in practising is, when IV. Deceit, leaping from extreame to extreame.it causeth vsus to leape from one extreame to another, passing by the meane; as from prodigalitie, to couetousnesse, from couetousnesse to prodigality, skipping ouer liberality. In the former leape the couetous man hath a fair pretence, O why should I wastfully mispend Gods creatures? why should I make my belly my God? But why dost thou not rightly vse Gods creatures? why doest thou make thy mony thy God? The prodigall, lately couetous, his colour is as good, why should I make my selfe a drudge to my goods? yea and why shouldest thou make thy selfe a drudge to thy pleasures. In the same kind of deceit are some brought from presumption to desperation, from thinking their sinnes are nothing, and that they can repent when they list for them, to thinke that they are greater then that euer they can repent, or find mercy at Gods hands. By the like deceit are men come from too much honouring of ministers, which was in Poperie, to too much contemning of them. As it was in the Church of Corinth, some would giuegive too much to the ministers, seruilely apprentising their iudgements vntounto them, I am Pauls, I am Apolloes. Another sort, to auoide 1. Cor. 1. 12.this extremity on the right hand, went as farre out on the left, in the vtter reiecting of the ministery, I am Christs, I care not for any minister, but will bee taught immediatelie by Christ himselfe. And therfore Paul after hee had refuted those offending in the excesse, least anie through this deceitfulnesse should decline too much to the defect, hee wisely qualifies the matter, Let a man yet thinke of vsus as of 1. Cor. 4. 1.the ministers of Christ, and disposers of the secrets of God. Let no man think that there is no way to auoid too much dignifying the ministers, then too much nullifying of them. This is like the husbandmans error, when in correcting the crookednes of a twig, hee writhes it too much the other way. A deceit, that befell the Fathers, who in their zealous detestation of heresies, hauehave in their disputations ouershot themselues, sometimes, and gone too farre on the other side. As Clemens was so farre carried against worship of images, that hee condemned the Art of painting. An example of deceit in this kind we hauehave in Peter, who for not suffering Christ to wash his feete, hearing that fearefull answer, Vnlesse Ioh. 13. 9.I wash thee, thou hast no part in mee, lashed out presently as farre the other way, Lord not feete onelyonly, but hands, and head and all. But it was his feet only that Christ would wash, not his hands, or head. So the Corinthians, being reprehended for their remisnes, and careles ouersight, in not punishing the incestuous person, fell to ouer-rigorous seuerity, in not freeing him from punishment, in not loosing him vponupon his repentance. So S. Austen confesseth of himselfe Confess. 10. 34. Aliquando autem fallaciam hanc immoderatius cauens, erro nimia seueritate, vt melos omne cantilenarū suauium ab auribus meis remoueri velim. 2. Cor. 10. 10.that, in his desire to auoide carnall delight in singing, he fel into that extremity of seuerity, as to condemne all delightful melodie, tickling the eare. The errour in the primitiue Church was, to magnifie the Apostles writings in contempt of their vocall doctrine. The letters, said the false Apostles concerning Paul, are sore and strong: but his bodily presence, and his speech is of no value. The Papists at this day hauehave auoided this errour, by falling into the contrary, of aduancing the doctrine, which the Apostles, say they, deliuered by word of mouth, their vnwritten verities, to the shamefull disparagement of their written doctrine. And to conclude, how many of vsus, through this deceit, hauehave beene brought from Popish superstition, to prophane and irreligious Atheisme? From the blind zeale without knowledge, to a colde and hartlesse knowledge without zeale, from workes without faith, to faith without workes, from shaking off the yoke of that Romane tyranny, to shake off the sweete and easie yoke of Christ too, and so to an ouer licentious, and lawlesse dissolutenes. From the leauing of Popish fasting, pennance, confession, to the contempt of true Christian fasting, repentance, confession, and from the errour of the merit of good workes, to a shamefull neglect of them. So that we did more good workes (I meane outwardly in regard of the matter) in Poperie, for our owne glory, then now wee doe for Gods glorie, though Gods glory should bee a far more powerfull attractiue to good works then our owne. And these be the four first deceites in this kinde.