The Mystery of Self-Deceiving, Chapter 20
CHAP. XX.
Of the deceit of the heart in that which it promiseth to God.
THus wee hauehave seene how deceitfull our hearts 2. To God.are in the promises they make to our selues: it remaineth to see the like deceitfulnes in the promises they make to God.
Now the heart is deceitfull in promising to God, either the duties of repentance, and reformation in generall, or any speciall dutie in speciall.
1. For particular duties, how often do we purpose, 1. Duties particular, & that either simply.& secretly, yea otherwhile more solemnly, promise to God the performance of this or that, when yet, in the end we do nothing lesse, by reason of the vnsoundnesse, and vnsetlednesse of our deceiueable hearts. Salomon insinuates, that in his time there were some, that after, by vow they had bound themselues to the Lord for the performance of seruice, Pro. 20. 25. Eccles. 5. 5.did yet afterward go about to enquire for reasons, how to be discharged of their vow. Iakob promised and solemnly vowed to the Lord that, beeing blessed in his iourney, and safely returned home again, he would build an altar in Bethel, & pay tithes. Neuerthlesse, for all this, Iakob after his return could sit still, and find no leysure to pay his vow, till God came, and plucked him by the eare, both by the afflictions sent vponupon him in himselfe & his children, and also by his owne voice, as it were shewing him the reason of his danger before by Esau, and now by the people of that country, of Dinahs rauishment, and his sonnes barbarous murther, Arise, go vp to Bethell, Gen. 35. 1.and build there an altar, according to thy vowe. How often doe the best purpose with themselues to shew some proofe of their spirituall grace, in performance of this or that dutie: when yet, when it comes to the triall, we are altogether disabled, and shew nothing but weaknesse and corruption? because we hauehave by our negligence and securitie greeued the spirit of God. Wherein it fareth with vsus, as with Sampson, who said with himselfe, I will goe out now as at other Iude. 16. 20.times, and shake my selfe, but hee knew not, saith the Prophet, that the spirit of the Lord was departed from him. And so his heart deceiued him. Thus was it Psa. 39. 1. 2. 3.with Dauid; I saide I will looke to my waies that I sinne not with my tongue, I will keepe my mouth bridled whilest the wicked is in sight; but presently after he shews how soone he broke his word. My heart was hot, the fire kindled, and I spake with my tongue, &c. Peters example is very memorable; how confident was he in protesting and promising concerning his sticking to Christ, to the very death? but yet quickly plucked in Ser. de 4. feria.his snayles hornes, euen at the slight touching of a sillie wench. How soone saith Austen didst thou denye him as a dead man, whom before thou confessedst as the liuing sonne of God?
To this place belongeth that vsuall deceit, wherby we secretly promise to the Lord the doing of this Or on conditiō of getting this or that.or that, when our present estate shall bee chaunged. Oh if J were thus, and thus, I would doe so and so. If I were King, saith Absalom, I would see iustice done to eueryevery man. Thinke we, he would hauehave beene as good as his worde, if euer he had beene King? Assuredly none would hauehave beene more tyrannical. If I were a rich man, saith one, O how liberall, how free-harted should I be? God happely lets him hauehave his wish, but hee lets not God hauehave his promise. God giueth riches to him, but he no liberality to God. Nay when he is become rich, he is more vniust, niggardly, scraping, then those of whom hee complained before, when he was poore. Thus young men thinke with themselues, when they come to bee ould, they will not offend in those faults wherein they see age so much ouertaken, as frowardnesse, morositie, impatience, contempt of youth, &c. Vnmarried persons thinke, when they are once married, they shall liue so louingly, and comfortably, and be quite free from all those faults which they see married folke to offend in. Men without children, if once they might come to hauehave children, O the dueties they would performe, the care of godly education they would hauehave. Priuate men, if they were in places of gouernment, O the wonders that they then would do. And in eueryevery state and condition, whatsoeuer want wee see in others, wee dare promise touching our selues a freedome from it, if we were in it. But wee know not, at least remember not, that eueryevery state hath seuerall temptations, and burdens, annexed vntounto it. And how can wee know, either how wee shall withstand the one, or stand vnderunder the other, till it come to the triall. Nay rather, we should feare the worse of our selues. Behold now, beeing poore, I am couetous, when I want that baite of feeling the sweete of gaine, which rich men hauehave. What then should I be, if I were rich, when the danger is greater, to hauehave our harts stollen away by riches increasing? Behold now I am a single man, and hauehave no body to looke to but my selfe, and yet I finde I hauehave enough to do this well: how then shall I doe, when besides my selfe, I hauehave a familie to ouersee? Behold now I am a priuate man, & hauehave no body, but mine owne family to gouerne: And yet I find my hands full with this. Alas! if I were in publike place of gouernment, how should I be ouercharged? Beholde being but a meane obscure person, I yet find it hard to humble and keepe vnderunder my proud heart. What should I doe then, if I flourished in worldly glorie, and were a great one in princes courts? lo I can hardly stand fast in firme ground. How then can I secure my feete in slippery ground?
2. In promising to God repentance, and reformation 2. general, of repentance.in generall, the case is alike. Men in their afflictions, and sicknesse, looking for death, how liberall are they in their promises? but afterward how basely niggardly are they in their performances? They play childrens play with God, they take away a thing, as soone as they hauehave giuen it. When Ier. 34. 10. 11.Nebuchadnezar besieged Ierusalem, then the Iewes made a solemne couenant with the Lord, to set free their seruants: But noe sooner had the King remooued his siege, but they retracted, and repealed their vow, and brought backe againe their seruants into their former bondage. So fareth it with these kind of men. When God laies siege to them by sicknes or some other pinching affliction, then couenants, and promises are made concerning the putting away of our sinnes: But no sooner doth God begin to depart, and slake his wrath, but we returne with the dogge to the vomit, and with the sow to our wallowing in the mire. Like Pharaoh that dismissed the Israelites, when death entred within his palaces, but presently after, in all hast, makes after them to fetch them backe againe. Thus was it in that great sweat in the time of king Edward. As longe (saies one) as the feruentnesse of the plague lasted, there was crying peccani, peccaui, mercy good lord, mercy, mercy. The ministers of gods word were sought for in eueryevery corner, they could not rest, they might not sleepe: yee must come to my Lord, yee must come to my Lady, come if ye louelove God, and if yee louelove their saluation tary not. For Gods sake M. Minister (say the sicke folks) tell vsus what we shal do to auoide Gods wrath. Take these bagges. Pay so much to such a man; for I deceiued him: giuegive him so much, for I gat it of him by vsury. I made a crafty bargaine with such a one, restore him so much and desire him to forgiue me. Diuide this bag among the poore, cary this to the hospitall, pray for mee for Gods sake, Good Lord forgiue me &c. This was the dissimulation of the people for three or foure dayes whiles the execution was, but after when the rage was somewhat swaged, then returned they to their vomit worse then euer they were. Then that they had before caused to bee restored, and giuen in almes they seeke to recouer by more euil-fauoured cheuisaunses. This deceitfulnesse God noted in the Israelites, who being humbled with the terrors of the law, promised very largely, All these things will we doe. But what said God. O that there were such a heart, namely as, in this so liberall, and franke a promise of obedience, they make show of, and at this time thinke indeed they hauehave. For now we speake of such a kinde of deceitfulnes, whereby we deceiue our selues as well as others. Deut. 5. 29.We are not to thinke these Israelites did grossely dissemble with God: but at that time, being in some distresse, they spake as they thought, and meant to do. But by reason their heartes were not throughlie purged, and renewed, it was only a suddaine fit for the time, afterwardes their hearts returning to their old bias, they were not able to performe that which they promised. This the Scripture would teach, when it saieth their hearts started a side like a deceitfull bowe. When a man shoots with a deceitfull Psal. 78. 57. explayned.bowe, though he leuell his arrow, and his eye directly to the marke, and thinke with himselfe to hit it, yet indeed the arrow, by reason of his deceitfull bow, goes a cleane contrary way. Answerable to this bowe is our heart, to the arrowe the desires, purposes, and promises wee conceiue, and make in our afflictions. The marke wee ayme at is repentance. To the which wee then looke with so accurate, and attentiue an eye; as though we should repent indeed. And that indeed is our purpose, and meaning then: but our owne hearts deceiue vsus. For, because they are not truly renewed, but there is much vnsoundnesse still in them, hence it comes to passe, that these arrowes of our purposes, and promises of repentance neuer hit the marke, neuer sort to any good effect, but vanish in the aire as smoake. Ahab did not grosly dissemble in that his humiliation wrought by the Prophets reprehension, but he meant in good sadnesse, when he cloathed himselfe in sackcloth. OnelyOnly his heart still remained vnregenerate, & so deceiued him. So was it with Pharao also. One wold think that water heated in the fire were indeed as truley hotte as fire it selfe. But because it is not a naturall heate, but onelyonly externall from the heate of the fire, remooue it but a while from the fire, and it returnes againe to his owne nature, and as the Philosopher obserues, becomes Aristot. meteor. 1. 12.colder after the heating, then it was before. So is it with these flashings of deuotion & holines, which were in Ahab, Pharaoh, and others in like case. They are not kindly, but violent, they are not from the inward fire of Gods spirit, but from the outward fire of his iudgements. And therefore when that is out, these are gone.
And this is the third part of the hearts deceitfulnesse, namely its deceitfulnesse in promising. The vse of that which hath beene spoken hereof, is
1 To teach vsus patience, when we are crossed in Vse. those things wee desired, and wherein we promised great faelicity to our selues. For God hee sawe the deceitfulnesse of our hearts in such promises, & that indeed these things would in the euent hauehave prooued serpents, and stones, which wee thought would hauehave been fishes, and bread, that they would hauehave been very bitter, and burdensome vntounto vsus, which we fancied as matters of comfort, and delight.
2 To rest contented in that estate wherein wee are. For howsoeuer wee promise much of our selues, if our estate should change for the better, as from pouerty to riches, from obscurity to glory, and greatnesse in the world, and presume of our owne strength, not to be touched with those infirmities, that vsually attend such estates; yet we hauehave learned how deceitfull our hearts be herein. HaueHave we then a liberall, and mercifull affection in our pouertie? let vsus not be ouer desirous of a richer condition. For we know not whether then wee shall be of the same minde, yea or no. And that affection we hauehave to liberality, while we are poore, is accepted of God for liberality it selfe. Take heede then of this deceit. Thou desirest to be rich, that thou mightest be liberall. So much thy heart promiseth thee, that thou shouldest be very liberall, if thou wert once rich. Lo thou art liberal, before thou art rich, in regard of the affection, and disposition of thy heart, and when thou art rich, thou art not so much as liberall in affection. Thou doest not only not get that liberality in action, which thou promisedst thy selfe in riches, but also thou leesest, together with thy pouerty, that liberality in affection, which then thou haddest. O deceitfull heart, who by promising vsus more, makest vsus to hauehave lesse. Desire then rather to keepe thy pouerty, that thou maiest keepe thy liberality; remembring that of Salomon, that though that which a man should specially Pro. 19. 22. opened.desire is his goodnesse, that is, to do good in workes of liberality; yet a poore man, that, hauing nothing to giuegive, hath yet a giuing affection, is better then a lier; that is, as I take it, better then such a rich man, who before he was rich, would bragge much what hee would do, if he were rich, and yet, being rich, is poorer in liberality, then euer hee was: who is therefore, in regard of this deceitfulnesse of heart, worthily called a lyer by the holy Ghost. Be not then, through this deceitfulnesse, moued to the desire of an higher, and greater estate. If there bee a 2. Cor. 8. 12.willing mind, God accepts a man according to that he hath, and not according to that he hath not. Then againe consider with thy selfe, what likelihood there is, that thou shouldest doe a greater good (which belongeth to a higher place) being therin, who canst not doe the lesser good, (which belongeth to a meaner place) wherein now thou art. Thou art a bad poore man: thou wouldest be a worse rich man. Thou art an ill gentleman: and is there any hope that thou wouldest be a better noble man? In pouerty, and meanenesse thou canst not be free from those infirmities, whereto that estate is subiect: and yet thinkest thou to escape those whereto riches, and honour lie open?
3 Neuer to be ouer bolde, or lauish in promising much of our selues. Do we with the most: but speake wee with the least. For our heartes will deceiue vsus. Wee would hardly giuegive our wordes for a false knaue, that had often deceiued vsus. Why then learne we not the like wisedome here, not to promise any great matters of our selues, since wee hauehave such deceiuing heartes, as will shame vsus in the end, if we presume any thing far of them. It is a shame to vsus, when others, of whom wee hauehave promised much vntounto our friends, shall deceiue vsus. Therefore the Apostle, hauing promised Titus no small things concerning the Corinthians, saith he was not ashamed 2. Cor. 7. 14. 16.in that whereof he had boasted of them vntounto Titus, because their doings had abundantly iustified his sayings. Thereby insinuating, what a shame it would hauehave been vntounto him, if the Corinthians had deceiued that hope, and confidence which he had of them. O then what a foule shame must it needs be, when our owne heartes shall deceiue vsus in that which we hauehave promised of them to God? Suffer wee not then our tounges to runne ouer in this kinde, least it fare with vsus, as with that same young man in the Gospell, who came running in all the hast to our Sauiour, crying out, Good master what Mark. 10. 17. 22.good thing must I doe to get eternall life; therein secretlie promising, that he would be willing to doe any thing Christ should command him. For it is, as if he should hauehave said. O let me but know what is to be donne, & be it what it wil be, lo here I am ready, prest to doe it. But when Christ told him what was to be done, Goe sell all, and giuegive to the poore &c. then he slunke, and shrunke backe. For how many are there that, through this kind of deceitfulnesse, deale with God, as Horuah did with Naomi, making Ruth. 1. 10. 14.her beleeue that nothing should be able to seperate them, there was no ho, but she must needes follow Naomie into Iudea: but she was soone intreated to stay behind, and take her leaue. The Prophet Osea bringeth in the Israelites, renuing Hos. 6. 1.their couenant with the Lord, in very serious manner; Come let vsus returne to the Lord &c. One would thinke here were an excellent spirit of sincerity. But God, discerning guile in this their so hotte, and hasty zeale, passeth this sentence vppon it, What shall I doe vntounto thee ô Ephraim &c. All thy righteousnesse is as the morning dewe. And therefore when our harts promise any thing to God, whether openly, or secretly, we must desire Gods strength to inable vsus for performance, as Dauid hauing promised, I will Psal. 119. 8.keepe thy statutes, praieth, forsake me not ouer longe. Yea we must in this case deale with our hearts, as Iosua did with the Israelites, promising their seruice Iosh. 24. 16. 17. 18. 19.to the Lord, ô saies Iosua, yee cannot serue the Lord, he is a iealous God &c: so we in like manner, must propound to our selues the difficulty of doinge any good thing: both in regard of our weakenesse, and Pro. 6. 1.Sathans wilinesse. And, as in being surety to man, for our brother, the scripture exhortes vsus to be wel aduised what wee doe: so much more ought we to be heedefull, and considerate in this suretiship to God for such false hearts as these are, that weighing well our owne inability to do so much as the least good, wee may neuer presume to vndertake any such matter, otherwise then in the deniall of our selues, and in the earnest crauing of the presence of the spirit, without whom wee can neither promise, nor perfourme as we ought.