A Guide to Godliness, Book 3 · Chapter 29
CAP. XXIX.
Of Chriſtian prudence, which wee ought to vſe in all our conferences.
§. Sect. 1 How wee muſt carry ourſelues when we conferre with thoſe who excell vsus in gifts.
ANd thus we hauehave ſpoken of graciouſneſſe of ſpeech to be vſed in our conferences, and of the contrary corruptions which ought to bee ſhunned. The next duty required, is, that our ſpeeches bee powdred with the ſalt of Chriſtian wiſedome and prudence, which not onelyonly enableth vsus to ſpeake good things, but alſo to fit theſe ſpeeches to the perſons with whom we conferre, to occaſions and opportunities, to the preſent purpoſe, vſe and neceſſitie, ſo as they may be moſt ſeaſonable, powerfull and effectuall for the furthering of our owne good, and theirs alſo that beare vsus company. And this the Apoſtle vnderſtandeth, when as hee requireth, that our ſpeech ſhould bee alwaies gracious, and ſeaſoned with ſalt, that wee may know how Col. 4. 6.to anſwere eueryevery man, for their ſpeciall vſe and benefit. This is that fit and ſeaſonable ſpeech which the Wiſe man compareth to apples of gold, in Pro. 25 11.pictures of ſiluer; and this is, to hauehave the tongue of the learned, when as wee know how to ſpeake a word in ſeaſon to him that is weary. And when as wee Eſa. 50. 4. Eccl. 12. 10.can fit our ſpeeches to preſent occaſions, and ſo apply them to eueryevery ſort and condition of men, as that they may be behoouefull and beneficiall to them all in their ſeuerall kindes. As for example, when wee conferre with ſuch as excell vsus in grace and piety, wiſedome and knowledge, we muſt, reuerencing Gods graces and greater gifts in them, yeeld vntounto them priority of ſpeech, and attentiuely harken vntounto thoſe gracious words which proceede out of their mouthes; not ſpending of our ſmall ſtocke which cannot inrich them, but laying vp their ſpeeches as good treaſures in our hearts, that wee may increaſe our ſpirituall ſtore, which wee may afterwards lay out when wee come among thoſe that hauehave more neede. And vntounto this the wiſe Salomon aduiſeth vsus, Bow downe thine eare (ſaith he) Pro. 22. 17, 18.and heare the words of the Wiſe, and apply thine heart vntounto my knowledge. For it is a pleaſant thing if thou keepe them within thee, they ſhall withall bee fitted in thy lips. And againe; Hearken vntounto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend Pro. 7. 24. &. 8. 6.vntounto the words of my mouth. Heare: for I will ſpeake excellent things, and the opening of my lips ſhall bee right things. And here the Apoſtle Iames his rule is eſpecially to bee obſerued; Let eueryevery man be ſwift to heare, and ſlow Iam. 1. 19.to ſpeake. For the words of the Wiſe are of great vſe and profit, power Eccleſ. 12 11.and efficacie, like goads pricking men forward in the waies of Godlineſſe, and like nayles faſtening and confirming their hearts in all vertuous courſes. In which regard if we interrupt them in their holy and wiſe ſpeeches, by interpoſing our vnſeaſonable and leſſe profitable talke, wee ſhall, by diſturbing their diſcourſe, wrong our ſelues and the reſt of the companie; and bee more fooliſh then the fooliſh virgins, who did not Matth. 25.deſire to put out and extinguiſh the lights of the wiſe, but that they might ſhare and communicate with them. And therefore when wee come into ſuch companie, let vsus thinke that wee are in a rich and plentifull market, wherein wee may ſtore our ſelues with what we want. In which reſpect let vsus wholy intend to inrich our hearts with all needefull graces, by trading with theſe rich Marchants who abound in them; and labour by communicating with them in theſe holy conferences, to increaſe our knowledge, ſtrengthen our faith, confirme our affiance, nouriſh our hopes, mortifie our corruptions, and to bee more and more enabled to new obedience and holineſſe of life. On the other ſide, when we are in the company of thoſe which are weake and inferiour vntounto vsus in knowledge and other of Gods graces, wee muſt bee as ready to ſpeake vntounto their inſtruction and edification, as to heare thoſe which are ſuperiour vntounto vsus. And as thoſe who are of meane eſtate, may lawfully deſire and receiue gifts from the rich, that they may impart them vntounto thoſe who are poorer then themſelues, ſo muſt wee alſo doe in our ſpirituall trading one with another. Which wee neede not grudge to doe, ſeeing wee ſhall not loſe by their gaine, but mutually thriue together, not much leſſe increaſing our owne knowledge and other graces, by teaching and communicating them, then they by learning and receiuing; theſe ſpirituall gifts herein reſembling the Widdowes Cruze of Oyle which filled in emptying, and when much was taken out of it for the reliefe of the whole family, afforded no leſſe ſtore the next meale, or like the milke in the mothers breſt, which if it be ſucked by the child, continueth and increaſeth, but if it be not drawne, ſoone faileth and dryeth vp. Neither muſt wee in this caſe bee ſo proud and lofty in our own conceits, as to ſcorne or refuſe conference with thoſe who are not equall with vsus in gifts, but as the Apoſtle exhorteth, wee muſt condeſcend vntounto men of loweſtate, & ſtoop vntounto the vnderſtanding of the meaneſt, Rom. 12. 16.thinking it as neceſſary an office in Gods family, to put milk into the mouthes of little babes, as to ſet ſtronger meate before thoſe that are able Iohn 21. 15.to ſit at the table with vsus and feede themſelues. VntoUnto the performance of which dutie, Chriſtian wiſedome and diſcretion is very neceſſary, to giuegive vntounto eueryevery one a fit portion as they are able to beare; and not to glut and ouercloy weake ſtomacks with theſe ſpiritual dainties, till, like the Iſraelites Quailes, they come out of their noſtrils. For if they ſurfet through ſaciety, and bee crammed till it bee ready to come vp againe, they ſhall for the preſent offend God thereby, and loath this Spirituall food for the time to come. And therefore when wee meete with weakelings, let vsus hauehave reſpect vntounto them, and not ſo much conſider what we could willingly giuegive, as what thier weake ſtomackes are able to diſgeſt; intermixing (as it were ſawces to their meate) ciuill, morall and pleaſant ſpeeches tending to their profit or delight, that thereby, their appetite being quickned, they may feede vponupon more ſolid and wholeſome nouriſhment with leſſe ſaciety.
§. Sect. 2 How we muſt behaue our ſelues when we conferte with ciuill worldlings.
Againe, if thoſe with whom wee conferre are but meere worldlings, wee muſt wiſely conſider whether they bee morally ciuill, or openly prophane and deſperately wicked. If they be of the former ſort, we muſt cheriſh thoſe common gifts and graces of the Spirit, which we obſerue in them, yet ſo, as we doe our beſt to worke them out of a Phariſaicall conceit of them, as though they needed nomore to aſſure them of their ſaluation. To which purpoſe we are to take all good occaſions to ſhew their inſufficiencie, that being beaten off from this pernicious opinion, they may denie themſelues vtterly, and all their owne righteouſneſſe in the worke of their iuſtification and ſaluation, and may flie vntounto Chriſt by faith, who is onelyonly able and all-ſufficient to effect them. With which we muſt ioyne all other good meanes, which opportunity ſhall offer vntounto vsus for the gayning of them to Chriſt, and making of them truely religious. And to this end wee muſt heedfully watch for all good occaſions, which either their words or actions ſhall offer vntounto vsus, of ſpeaking ſomething which may bee for the vſe of edifying; liking and approuing any thing which is well ſaid or done by them (as our Sauiour dealt with the young man that anſwered him diſcreetly) ſhewing that they are not farre from the Kingdome of God; and as Paul with King Agrippa, who watched and Act. 26. 28, 29.tooke hold vponupon eueryevery word which he ſpake, to draw him to Chriſtianity. Yea when none are offered by them of ſpeaking any good, wee muſt ſeeke out occaſions our ſelues, making choyſe of ſuch as we thinke will be moſt plauſible, and likely to finde entertainement, as ſome workes, mercies, or Iudgements of God, which are freſh in memorie. And if the companie be ſuch, as that wee cannot directly propound vntounto them ſuch ſauourie diſcourſe, let vsus vſe our beſt art and policie to ſcrew and winde it in by degrees and by little and little; endeuoring to driue in our wedges into theſe knottie pieces with many blowes and diuers breathings and intermiſſions, when as we are not able to doe it once. Or if we cannot preuaile thus farre, nor draw them to ioyne with vsus in any Chriſtian conference, yet at leaſt let vsus ioyne with them in their ſpeeches and diſcourſes, which are moſt ciuill and morally honeſt, that if wee can doe them no further good, yet at leaſt wee may hereby preuent rotten, filthy, and vnſauoury ſpeech, and ſo preſerue our own eares from being polluted, and our hearts from being grieued with ſuch ribauldry and corrupt communication, as is often vented in ſuch ſocieties.
§. Sect. 3 How we muſt deale with thoſe who are openly prophane.
But if our company into which we are come, either by accident or ſome vrgent occaſion, bee notoriouſly prophane and wicked, who would but Matth. 7. 6.make a ſcoffe at any ſpeech which ſauoureth of Religion; our Sauiour hath giuen vsus this rule for our direction, that we muſt not caſt holy things before dogges, nor pearles before ſwine, leſt they trample them vnderunder their feete, and turning againe, all to rent vsus. VntoUnto which the Wiſe man hath adioyned another, that wee muſt get our ſelues out of ſuch company as ſoone as we can: Goe (ſaith hee) from the preſence of a fooliſh man, when thou perceiuest Pro. 14. 7.not in him the lips of knowledge. In the meane time, though wee hauehave ſome ſociety with them, in reſpect of our perſons, yet let vsus be carefull that wee hauehave no fellowſhip with their vnfruitfull works of darkeneſſe, by too much familiarity, applauding their ſpeeches, and blaunching ouer their vices and faults; but if wee cannot without danger take liberty of reprouing them by direct words, yet let vsus doe it by ſhewing diſlike, either by our ſilence or by our countenance. At leaſt let vsus giuegive them a reall reproofe by our contrary example, being (as the Apoſtle ſpeaketh) blameleſſe and Phil. 2. 15.harmeleſſe, the ſonnes of God without rebuke, in the middeſt of a crooked and peruerſe nation, and ſhining among them as lights in the world. But if they be ſo peaceable, that we may conceiue any hope of their patience, and that they will hearken vntounto any good ſpeech, louing admonition, or gentle reproofe, we muſt not neglect it, handling theſe feſtred ſores with a ſoft hand, that ſo they may more quietly indure to hauehave afterwards ſalues applied which ſhalbe fit for their curing. Neither will it ſtand with Chriſtian charity to neglect any meanes, when there is the leaſt hope of doing thē good, nor with Chriſtian wiſdome to do it after a rough and boyſtrous manner, proudly and imperiouſly, with ſharpe rebukes and bitter reproofes, which like ſtrong medicines in a weake ſtomacke and clogged with corrupt humours, will not ſtay with them, but will preſently be caſt vp againe, before they hauehave had any time to work, and ſo do them no good for their ſpirituall cure. But we muſt vſe firſt prepartiues and gentle purges, as they are able to beare: as louing inſinuations, and mild admonitions, which muſt alwaies ſauour more of the ſtrength of argument and reaſon, then of choller or any other turbulent paſſion. And though when wee hauehave done all the good wee can, wee doe not preſently ſee any fruit of our labours, yet muſt wee not bee diſcouraged, but patiently leaue the ſucceſſe vntounto God, and craue his bleſſing vponupon our indeuours, knowing that the beſt ſeede commeth not vp as ſoone as it is ſowne; and the phyſicke which cureth the diſeaſe, doth not as ſoone as it is taken, giuegive any euidence of the patients recouery, yea oftentimes maketh him much more ſicke, whilſt it is in working; both to the iudgement of others, and in his owne feeling and apprehenſion. Yea, though they caſt vp this ſpirituall Phyſicke preſently after it is taken, yet may it doe them ſome good, ſeeing ſome hurtfull humours may be raiſed with it, as ſome cold flegme of ſluggiſh ſloth and careleſſe ſecurity, and ſome hot choller, which ſo imbittered their ſtomackes, that they had no appetite to any wholeſome nouriſhment; and ſomething alſo may remaine behind, which will worke vponupon them when we leaſt thinke of it.
§. Sect. 4 Of the manifold and dangerous abuſes of Conferences in theſe daies; and the cauſes of them.
And theſe are the duties which are to bee obſerued in our ſociety and conuerſation one with another, in reſpect of our ſpeeches and conferences. The which in theſe dayes, are all for the moſt part lamentably neglected, to the great diſhonour of God, and our owne exceeding hindrance in our Chriſtian progreſſe. And contrariwiſe, as wee finde by daily and wofull experience, all our time at our meetings, is wholly ſpent about earthly trifles, and things of no value. Of which neglect of the one, and too much vſe of the other, there are diuers cauſes. As firſt, the malice and ſubtilty of the deuill, who knowing how much religious conferences doe weaken his kingdome, and build vsus vp in all ſpirituall graces, and how much they ſtrengthen vsus vntounto all Chriſtian duties, doth vſe all his Art and skill to hinder and interrupt them, by putting into mens minds matters of no vſe and profit, earthly vanities, and things vtterly impertinent to our perſons, ſtates, and callings. Or if we will needs talke of Religion, he is ready to propound vntounto vsus by ſome of his inſtruments, captious queſtions, or wrangling controuerſies about trifles of no value, which tend not to the vſe of edifying, but to cauſe heart-burning, and alienation of affections, ſtrife, and contention, that ſo for the preſent he may keepe out all profitable conferences, about ſanctification and the maine points of Chriſtian Religion, and at length may breake off all ſuch meetings, when as men finde by experience, that little or no good commeth of them. And with him ioyneth the world and worldly men to hinder theſe conferences, not onelyonly by offering earthly things vntounto vsus, for the ſubiect of our ſpeech, but alſo by interrupting vsus, when wee hauehave entred into any good conference, by ſpeaking of worldly matters, that ſo they may diuert our ſpeech from going on in any Chriſtian diſcourſe. VntoUnto both which our enemies, our corrupt fleſh is ready to betray vsus, which is ſoone weary of ſpirituall and heauenly things, becauſe it findeth no taſte or ſauour in them, and is neuer ſatisfied in thinking and ſpeaking of things worldly, carnall, and ſenſuall, as beſt relliſhing to our corrupt and fleſhly appetite. A ſecond cauſe is, becauſe we are not mortified in our louelove to the world, nor hauehave our hearts and affections weaned from it. For if they, like good inſtruments, were well in tune, they would vtter by our tongues heauenly harmony; but doting as they doe vponupon worldly vanities, it is no maruaile, if out of the abundance of the heart the mouth ſpeaketh, and if the chiefe fountaine being defiled, there iſſue from it the polluted ſtreames of vnprofitable diſcourſes. A third cauſe, is our too little louelove of ſpirituall & heauenly things; for if our hearts were ſet vponupon them, as our chiefe treaſure, we would take delight to be ſtill talking of them. If they were our chiefe comforts and cordials to cheare our hearts, ſo as they could with delight exerciſe themſelues (with Dauid) in meditating on them day and night; then would they alſo be ſweeter to our mouthes, then the honey or the honey-combe. Neither Pſal. 119.would our tongues be ſo vnready and barren of words, when we come to ſpeake of holy things, if our hearts and affections were ſet vponupon them; for as the Diuine Philoſopher among the Heathens obſerued, LoueLove maketh euen thoſe which are rude of ſpeech eloquent, when they ſpeake of the things beloued. Laſtly, our great ignorance of holy and heauenly matters, ioyned with a pernicious feare and ſhame, leſt by our ſpeech wee ſhould diſcouer it to our diſgrace, is one ſpeciall cauſe which hindreth theſe conferences. For ſuch is the pride of mens hearts, and their ſmall eſteeme of theſe ſpirituall treaſures, that they had rather remaine penurious, then diſcouer their pouerty; and empty of all grace, by neglecting the meanes whereby they might bee repleniſhed, then that men ſhould take any notice of their emptineſſe; to hide their wounds, rather then to lay them open that they might bee cured; and like fooliſh and beggerly Shop-keepers, they content themſelues with a vaine ſhew, and with painted papers ſtuffed with ſtraw or rags, rather then they will vſe any ſpirituall trading with others, or loſe the name and opinion of wealthy men, by taking vp ſuch wares as they want.
§. Sect. 5 That Chriſtian and religious conferences are exceeding profitable.
But that wee may breake thorow all theſe difficulties, and remoouing theſe cauſes of hindrance, bring theſe neglected holy conferences into more vſe, let vsus conſider that they are exceeding profitable, firſt, for the increaſing of our knowledge in ſpirituall and heauenly things, when wee bring all wee know (as it were) to a common ſtocke, out of which, eueryevery one may take that which beſt fitteth him for his particular vſe, and ſupply his defects out of others abundance, they in the meane time hauing neuer the leſſe. And as it is a ſingular benefit vntounto eueryevery one of any Trade or Myſtery, when they hauehave their common Halls where they may meete together, and conferre of the beſt courſes for the managing of their affaires, ſeeing it doth not onelyonly much improoue their skill, but alſo further them greatly in all good proceedings; ſo doth it exceedingly aduantage vsus in our ſpirituall trading, both for the increaſing of our knowledge, and furthering of our practice, when as wee often meete together, and conferre of thoſe things that belong to our Chriſtian profeſſion. For it doth not onelyonly improoue and better our iudgements, by communicating with others in all that they know, but alſo inflame our hearts and affections with the louelove of ſpirituall things, when as we ſtirre vp Gods graces mutually in one another, and like coales which are heaped vp together, not onelyonly preſerue the heate of the louelove, and zeale which is kindled in vsus, and would coole and die if wee were ſcattered from one another, but alſo inflame thoſe which are next vntounto vsus with our heate, which being ſet on fire, will alſo kindle thoſe who are neere vntounto them. In which regard, that of the Wiſe man is truely verified; The lips of the righteous feede many; but Pro. 10. 21.fooles (who refuſe all communion and fellowſhip with them) die and periſh for want of wiſedome. And as it is a ſingular meanes to inlighten our minds with the knowledge of the truth, and to inflame our hearts with the louelove of it; ſo alſo to make vſe of all wee know and affect by our holy practice, when as by our mutuall exhortations, we incourage and ſtirre vp one another vntounto new obedience, and to performe all good duties of a Chriſtian life, and helpe both our ſelues and others, with ſuch good counſels and directions, which being obſerued, will make the wayes of holineſſe and righteouſneſſe eaſie, familiar, and pleaſant vntounto vsus. Adde heereunto the great neceſſity of theſe religious conferences, and of what great moment the vſe or neglect of them is for our ſaluation or damnation. Neither are wee with the common ſort to eſteeme words as winde, or if we doe, ſuch a winde as will bring great profit, or hurt; either much furthering vsus towards the Hauen of happineſſe, or like a tempeſtuous ſtorme, blowing vsus vponupon the rockes of perdition. For the Wiſe man ſaith, A mans belly ſhall Pro. 18. 20, 21.be ſatisfied with the fruit of his mouth, and with the increaſe of his lips ſhall hee be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that louelove it, ſhall eate the fruit thereof. And as he expoundeth himſelfe in another place; A Pro. 13. 2.man ſhall eate good by the fruit of his mouth, namely, if his tongue vttereth good things, but the ſoule of the tranſgreſſours ſhall eate violence. And our Sauiour hath taught vsus, that we ſhall be called to account for eueryevery idle word Mat. 12 36, 37.at the day of Iudgement, and that by our words we ſhall be iuſtified, and by our words we ſhall be condemned. Finally, let vsus remember how faithfull in this kind the wicked are in the deuils ſeruice, being neuer weary in vttering ſuch ſpeeches as are vaine and vnprofitable, or hurtfull and pernicious; and let this make vsus aſhamed of our negligence, if we ſeldome admit ſuch holy conferences as tend to Gods glory, whom we hauehave found ſo gracious and bountifull a Maſter, or being entred into them, doe waxe weary, and ſoone giuegive them ouer, vponupon eueryevery ſlight occaſion, for want of louelove and zeale to his ſeruice. Yea, let vsus conſider with what pleaſure and delight our ſelues hauehave beene taken vp in the dayes of our ignorance, with idle and hurtfull communication, and let this make vsus to redeeme our loſt time, by being diligent and frequent in good conferences; and ſeeing wicked men are, and we were, not aſhamed to ſpend much time, in ſpeaking to Gods diſhonour, and our owne and our neighbours hurt; let it now bee a ſhame vntounto vsus to bee backward and baſhfull, ſlacke and meale-mouthed, to ſpeake freely vntounto his praiſe, or to omit any good occaſion of diſcourſe, which may further the ſaluation of our ſelues or our brethren.