The Drunkards Character, Section 82 – Section 89
§ 82.
THen let no drunkard force thee,Original of the word pledge. either against thy stomack, or thy inability to pledge his healths: yea, let quaffers quarrell, rage, and scoffe, threaten, curse, and loade thee with a thousand censures, yet hold thou thine owne still. It is true, they will be strangely importunate▪ what then? a shamelesse begger, must have a strong denyall.
Indeed if the word pledge were used seriously, properly, opportunely; and not altogether mistaken, and used in a wrong sense, I should grant it a duty, when any shall bee called thereunto. But sotted drunkards understand not what they speake, when they use the phrase: for the word pledge, implies no intention of drinking; as looke we but to the originall, and first institution thereof, and we shall find, that when in the borders of Wales twelve Welchmen had treacherously stabb'd 12. Englishmen, as they were holding the cups to their mouths; it grew to that, that none would drinke at any publike meeting, except they had some friend present who would undertake to be their pledge, and carefully see that none should hurt them the while; but hee who useth the word now, makes himselfe ridiculous, the occasion being taken away, for (God bee thanked) we have no such cause of feare, having the Lawes of God to guide the vertuous, and the Lawes of the Land to restraine the wicked.
Yet their mistake is no more in this their challenge, then it is in the combate it selfe, and the victory they get by it; for whereas they make a sport of drunkennesse, counting him a malefactor in the highest degree, that departs without staggering, and fit to be carried before a Magistrate, to render an account of his contumacie; and delight to make men drink, till they vomit up their shame againe, like a filthy Dog; or lye wallowing in their beastlinesse, like a brutish Swine; this is the most sad and woefull spectacle that can be to a rectified understanding.
And whereas they brag of the conquest, when with the weapons of full charged cups, they have overcome the rest; it is both the basest office, and lamentablest overthrow to themselves, that can possibly be imagined. For what a barbarous, gracelesse, and unchristian practise is this, to take pleasure in making others drunke? as if it were their glory, and pastime, and they tooke delight to see God dishonoured, his Spirit grieved, his name blasphemed, his creatures abused, themselves, and their friends soules damned; surely such men clime the highest step of the ladder of wickednesse; thinking their owne sins will not presse them deepe enough into Hell, except they also lode themselves with other mens.
And how sottish is their opinion of victory, In c…quering they are …st overcome.when even in conquering they are most overcome: for whilst they triumph in a drunken victory or conquest over their friends, Sathan gets the victory over them: in excessive drinking they have overcome all their companions, this they see and boast of; but they see not how they are overcome, shamefully foyled, and utterly overthrown by the d…vell their chief enemy; under whose lash they are like to be everlastingly. But let him that delights to make another drunk, reade his doome, Habak…k 2. 15, 16. where he shall finde, not onelyonly shame and spewing appointed for his glory, but also that a cup of vengeance, even the cup of the Lords right hand is preparing for him.
And lastly,To bee a …pter …he basest office …en have. what office so base as this for men to resemble Crowes, which live upon carrion, or those winglesse Flies, which sucke a living out of the corrupt blood of uncleannesse, is bad enough: but to bee a tempter, to weare the Livery of Sathan, to bee the Pentioner of hell, at the command of that malignant and degenerous Spirit; this is the most ignominious and dishonourable name and shame that can be: to be the Hang-mans servant, is an honour to it: for to erre is the part of a man; but to seduce, is the part of a divell. It is ill to play the wanton, worse to play the beast, worst of all to play the divill.
But thou wilt say. This is true onelyonly of the ruder sort,… objection answered. and more debauched; and so pertaines not to thee?
Yes, it doth. For though thou doest not force men to pledge thy healths; yet thou wilt intreat, and perswade them to it, by all the Art and oratory thou canst use; and in case they still refuse, thou wilt think the worse of them, censure them in thy thoughts, and beare them an inward grudg and splene in thine heart, if not slander and revile them with thy tongue. Nay, doest thou not, like the Graecian drunkards, use some such phrase as this? let him drinke, or else be packing, let him carrouse, or carry him out of the house, whereby a further wrong from others is occasioned; so imitating the Ephesians, who, (as Cicero reports) having banished their Prince Hermodorus, made proclamation, that none should excell another, or if he did so, that hee should no longer there dwell, but else where inhabit. How ever it likes thee well enough, that others of thy company shall by violence enforce them, and this alone makes thee as guilty, as if thou didst it thy selfe; so that to come fairely off, even from thy company, and neither drink nor quarrell, is impossible, or, at least, a wonder.
§ 83.
ANd thus you see,To dam… their owne soules the least part of their mischiefe. that drunkards not only traffick to enrich hel with their owne so…les, but others also: yea, that they are so pernicious, that to damne their owne so…les is the least part of their mischiefe, for they commonly draw vengeance upon thousands, by seducing some, and giving ill example to others.
O the multitude of drunkards that one true drunkard makes!What a multitude of drunkards one true drunkard …akes. especially if he be well accomplished with ingenuity, and gifts of nature: as when Achitophel's head stands upon Simon Magus his shoulders, there is a world of mischiefe towards. A will bent to doe harme, and a wit able to prosecute it, like Cannon shot, makes a lane where it goes. For tryall, let such an one tell me, if he can, how many hee hath drawne into the same sinne with him? were he willing, I feare his memory would faile him, though his conscience hereafter will not faile to evidence the same against him, with the severall aggravations of each circumstance. As Ovid said of himselfe; I am second to none in trifles: so the drunkard may truly say, I am second to none in tempting, yea, tell me, who are such pandors to sinne, such factors for hell, as these men? who doe the Divell such service, who deserve so great pay from him, as drunkards? A true drunkard is like the Bramble, Iudg. 9. 15. which first set it's selfe on fire, and then fired all the Wood: or like one sick of the Plague, who (as they say) is carried with an itching desire to infect others that are cleare: or like a house on fire in the midst of a City, which (if the winde blowes vehemently) stayeth not in the burning of an house, or two, but sets on fire al adjoyning, one, on this side; another on that; a third, behind it; a fourth, over against it; neither doth the fire cease there, but every one which it hath set on fire, kindles as many more, and so one another, till, it may be, half, or all the whole City bee consumed: for this is the drunkards case directly, who is the bane of many poore soules, besides his owne. It is S. Basil's observation, that one whore makes many fornicators; but experience shewes, that one drunkard makes ten times as many drunkards.
Yea, the more they can seduce, the more they glory: as when Theudas had got foure hundred followers, he thought himselfe a jolly fellow, Acts, 5. 36. But this is no other, then the setting a mans owne house on fire, it burnes many of his nighbours, and hee shall answer for all the ruines. And surely he who gives a man wine to deceive him, is first drunke in soule, before he can procure the others bodily distemper: and to glory in giving weake braines a drench, to see them wallow in their filthinesse; is but to brag how far they are become the Devils children.
§ 84.
TOuching their manner of seducing.If the Devill would surrender his place it should be to some good fellow or other. A drunkard (as if his braines were fired with all the plots, projects, and cunning Stratagems that Hell can yeeld) is as rarely gifted in drawing to sinne, as the Devill himselfe; and is become the child of Hell, by as proper a right: so that if Sathan would change his office, or were to surrender his place to any man alive, it should be to some good fellow or other, for as the Chamaeleon can change himselfe into any colour that it sits upon, but white and red; or as the Polypus can change colour at the sight of every object, but blew onelyonly: so a drunkard can be any thing, save good; he hath learned to handle a man so sweetly, that one would thinke it a pleasure to be seduced; yea, these Aspes will sting a man so, that he shall dye sleeping. The falsest hearts, will have the plausiblest mouthes; like to Salomons Curtesan, their lips drop as an Hony combe, and their mouth is smo…ther then Oyle; but their end is bitter as wormewood; and such faire and smooth communication, is no other then a trap or snare of Hony, as Diogenes calls it. Their custome is, with a pleasing breath, to waft a man into Mare mortuum, tole him on to destruction, as we tole beasts with fodder to the slaughter house: and to take away all suspition, they will so mollifie the stiffenesse of a mans prejudice, so temper and fit him to their owne mold, that once to doubt them, would require the spirit of discerning.
He is such a pleasing murtherer, that he tickles a man to death, and makes him (like Salomon's foole) dye laughing. O how many are there, that hate their other enemies, yea, and their friends too, and yet embrace this enemy; because he kisseth when he betrayeth; and indeed what fence for the Pistoll that is charged with the Bullet of friendship? Hilary compares it to a Razor in the hand of a counterfeit Barber: as when Vriah was set in the forefront of the battell, and honour pretended, murther was meant. Which is the sole cause, that drunkards so swarme in every corner of the land, as where shall a man come, and not finde one of these seducers.
§ 85.
INdeed,How drunkards swarme in every cor…er. heretof…re they were as rare as Wolves; but now they are as common as Hogs: heretofore it was the sinne of Tinkers, Ostlers, Beggers; &c. now of Farmers, Citicens, Esquires, Knights; &c. heretofore S. Pa…ls speech was currant, they that are drunken are drunken in the night; now they feare not the light, the Sunne-shine, no, they make no difference of nights or dayes; except this, that drunkennesse most rages on the Lords day: heretofore S. Peters argument was more then probable, these are not drunk, for it is but the third houre of the day; now men are growne such husbands, as by that time they will returne their stockes, and have their braines crowing before day, or at least if you will finde many men sober, you must take them in their beds, for they rise up earely to follow drunkennes: formerly men were so unacquainted with insatiate drinking, that the divell himself was called Robin good-fellow; now a man is hated as bad as the devill; if hee refuse to bee a good fellow (id est, a drunkard) There was a Streete in Rome called V…cus Sobrius, Sober-street, because there was never a drinking house in it; finde such a Street in any City or populous Town in England, and some good man or other will put it in the Chronicle: yea, if England plies her liquor so fast as she begins, Germany is like to loose her Charter, for drunkennesse, and the French disease, are upon termes of quitting their Countries aleagiance, and to be made free denisons of England; nay, have they not already given up the bucklers to the English; who as in fashions, so in vices, will needs bee the Ape of every Nation. It is a disease, whereof this Nation and generation is sicke at the very heart.
Yea, woe is me, how is the world turned beast? what bowsing and quaffing, and whiffing, and healthing, is there on every bench? and what reeling, and staggering in our St…e…s? what drinking by the yard, the Dye, the dozen? what forcing of pledges, what quarrells for measure, and forme? how is that become an excuse of villany, which any villany might rather excuse, I was drunk? How hath this torrent, yea, this deluge of excesse in drinke drowned the face of the earth, and risen many Cubits above the highest mountains of religion and good lawes? Yea, would to God I might not say with a Reverend Prelate of ours, that which I feare, and shame, and grieve, to say,…. Hall. that even some of them which square the Arke for others, would not inwardly drowne themselves, and discover their nakednesse hereby. That other inundation scowred the world, this impures it, and what but a deluge of fire and brimstone, can wash it from so abominable filthinesse?
O the drunkennesse that is in one day in this Land, yea, in this City, yea, at some Fayre, or Market to bee seene! For goe but to the Towns end, where a Fayre is kept, and there they lye, as if some field had been fought; here lyes one man, there another; yea, alasse for woe! a woman, nay, a swine with a womans face: or goe into the backe-Lanes, and there you have them, among Frogs and Toades, their fit matches. And in all probability, this infectious vice of drunken good-fellowship is like to stick by this Nation; for so long as the multitude of offenders benumes the sense of offending, a common blot is held no staine. Drunkennesse is as odious with us, as Adultery is in that State, wherein no body is chast.
§ 86.
BUt to goe on (though I dare not shew all their slights they have to draw men on,Dr…nkards like lulian who never did a man a good …urn but it was to damn his soule. least in reproving, I become a teacher, as it fared with another in the like case.
A drunk…rd for kindnesse is another Iulian, who was oftentimes bountifull, but how? he never did a man a good turne, but it was to damne his soule: hee so confirmes the profession of his love with vowes, protestations, and promises (as a large complement, for the most part, ushers in a close craft) that you would thinke Ionathan's love to David was nothing in comparison, as no faces look lovelier then the painted. But accept of gain from him, and you are lost for ever; for, with S…s…r…, you can no sooner tast of this I…l's milk, but you shall feele a nayle in your Temples; so that the wickednesse of a man which feareth God is better, then the good entreaty of a drunkard; his proffers are like the Fowlers shrape when he casts meat to birds, which is not out of charity, to relieve; but out of treachery, to ensnare them, they lay waite, saith Ieremy, as he that setteth snares; and make a pit to catch men, Ieremiah 5. 26. or like Traps wee set for vermin, seeming charitable, when they intend to kill: and thou mayest answer these cursed tempters, which delight in the murther of soules, as the woman of End…r did Saul, wherefore seekest thou to take me in a snare, to cause me to dye? 1 Sam. 28. 9. Hee, and the Usurer loves alike, for their charity is no better than cruelty; if they reach you bread with one hand, be sure there is a stone in the other to do you a mischiefe; for under the tast of Nectar, hee will poyson you with the water of Styx; he is another Absalom, who made a feast for Amn…n, whom hee meant to kill; like some prurient lecher, who provides a rich banquet for one whom he meanes to corrupt and deflour…; or like the Ivie, that by embraceing the tree sucks out the heart of it; and ther is no subtilty like that which deceives a man, and hath thankes for the labour;He who… the Lord loves shall be delive…ed fr…m their meretricious allure…e…ts for as our Saviour saith; blessed is the man that is not offended at their scoffes, Matth. 11. 6. so, blessed is the man that is not taken with their wiles: for herein alone consists the difference, hee whom the Lord loves, shall bee delivered from their meritricious all…rements, Eccles. 7. 26. and he whom the Lord abhors shall fall into their snares, Prov. 22. 14.
§ 87.
NOw if they cannot seduce us, they wil envie and …ate us.
First, they will envie us, If they … not sedu…e u… they wil envie and …ate ….because wee will not run with them to the same excesse of ry…t, 1 Iohn 3. 12. Prov. 29. 27. Psalme 69. 12. Every man is borne a Caine, envying that good in another, which hee wants himselfe; but a swinish drunkard delights to see the temperance,1. H…w drunkard… e…vie the sober and …. sobriety, and other eminent graces of him that feares God, and will not doe as he doth; as sore eyes delight to look upon the Sun. Lot vexed himselfe, because hee saw men bad; these, because men are good; not that God's Law is broken, but because others keepe it better than themselves.
It is true, envie knowes what it will not confesse; but experience shewes that sordid drunkards are as full of envie, towards such as will not consort with them, as a Serpent is full of poyson. And you may know it by this token, doe they not make it their Grace, both before and after dinner, to disgrace such an Innocent? O that so many Loayes and Fishes, as did feed five thousand in the Wildernes, would but stop their mouths, that envie and speake evill of such as they know no other fault by but their vertue; they pick their owne sorrowes, out of the joyes of other men; and out of others sorrowes likewise, they assume their owne joyes: whereas worth begets, in those that are magnanimous, emulation; in base minds, it contrarily begets envie; will you know the reason? Hee that hath lost all good himselfe, is vexed to see it in another, and can no way be pacified, except that other become as bad as himselfe: as Demon…des having himselfe crooked feet, and losing both his shoes, to be even with him that had found them, desired the gods, that the parties feete might he as crooked as his shoes were. But how just is it with God, that this fire of enuy, should be punished with the fire of Hell?
§ 88.
2How they wi… hate them.SEcondly, as is their enuy, such is their hatred and malice: they hate the good, because they will not be so evill as themselves, Micha. 3. 2. Mathew, 10. 22. Iohn, 15. 19. 1 King. 22. 8. Proverbs, 29. 27. The temperance and sobriety of a good man, is as great a vexation to them; as their conversation is to him: for as if Nature had made them antipathites to vertue, they so hate righteousnesse, that they will hate a man for it, and say of good living, as Festus did of great learning, it makes a man mad; but they cannot know who are sober, that are mad themselves.
Neither is this of theirs an ordinary hatred, VVhichWhich hatred is the most bitter and exorbitant of all other…for they even eate their owne hearts in anger, that they cannot eate ours in revenge; we pray for the opening of their eyes, and they pray for the pulling out of ours; we desire the turning of their hearts, and they wish the outting of our throats: no such concord, no such discord (saith one of the Learned) as that which proceeds from Religion; My name, …aith Luther, is more odious unto them, then any thiefe, or mutherer; as Christ was more detestable to the Iewes then Barrabas. Behold s…h David, mine en…ies, for they are many, and they hate me with a …ruell hatred, Psal. 25. 19. yea, so cruell, that it makes their teeth gnash, and their hearts burst againe, Acts, 7. 54. which made the truth's adversaries give St. Paul stripes above measure; and the Heathen Emperours to devise such cruel Tortures for all those, which but: profest themselves Christians.
You cannot anger a sotted drunkard worse, then to doe well; yea, he hates you more bitterly for this, and the credit you gaine thereby, then if you had cheated him of his patrimony, with your owne discredit.
That there is no hatred so virulent and bitter, as that which is occasioned by ver…uous living, and professing of Christ's name, our Saviour himselfe proves copiously, Math. 10. L…k. 21. where he shewes, that it makes them forget all naturall affection; wheth…r it be that which descends, as of Parents to children; or that which which ascends, as of children to Parents; or that which is mutuall, of Friends, Kindred, or Brethren one to another; so that be they never so neere allied, they shall betray …ch other, and cause them to dye, even for his names sake, as the Text hath it.
Neither doth their malice extend it selfe to this or that person onelyonly, but these Hamans so hate the Religious, that they wish, as Caligula once did of the Romans, that they had all but one head, tha… so they might cut it off at a blow, were it in their power, Ester, 3. 6. 8. 9. 13. Micha, 3. 2. Psal. 83. 4. But our comfort is, they have not so much authority as malice, resembling the Serpent Porphyrus, which abounds with poyson, but can hurt none, for want of …eeth.
§ 89.
NOw you must know that this envy and hatred of theirs is too strong to containe it selfe,How their envy and ha…red vents it selfe at the …outh and ha…ds. within the heart, and thereupon breakes forth at their mouth and hands.
Besides seeing the former stratagems will not prevaile, and that they cannot allure, nor perswade to drunkennesse, and the like sinnes, and so worke their wills upon the sober and conscionable by subtilty & faire meanes; they wil seek to compel and enforce them to do as they do: like as when lustfull Amnon could not winne Tamer by faire meanes, he deflowers her by force. For as the Devill, who raignes as a Prince in the world of the ungodly, Eph. 2. 2. is for strength, a Lyon, and a Fox for wit: so is the world it self, if it cannot infect us, it will afflict us; if it cannot corrupt our soules, it will taynt our good names; it is (not like some bashfull Suter) easily answered, but so impudent, that while we have breath, it will never give us over, thinking that so long as there is life, there is hope.
Now to effect their end, and bring about their purpose, they use divers and sundry meanes, venting their hearts at their mouthes in words, and by action in their hands: with their mouthes they wil censure, scoffe at, revile, raile on, nickename, slander, falsely accuse, curse, threaten &c. and with their hands they will (at least if they may be permitted) imprison, smite, hurt; and lastly, if all this will not doe, they will kill us; as there be more wayes to the wood then one.
To reckon up all the trickes they doe, and would use, if the law restrained them not, and to reckon up how many Creatures in the Vniverse, were a taske equally possible and endlesse: besides, it would overmuch swell the heape; and the Pages, like fish, would grow into a multitude, wherefore I will select out onelyonly two verball properties of their enuy and hatred, and passe over the rest.
The malice and enuy of drunkards vents it selfe at their mouthes, either.
1 By censuring or
2 By slandering
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