The Drunkards Character, Section 81
§ 81.
THat they'le …ate, revile, and stab h…m who refuseth to pledge their healthes, How impatient of deniell.needs no other proofe then experience: as how many have lost their lives, because they would not be drunke? though some others (Vriah-like) have lost theirs, when they have yeelded to be drunke.
Neither is this in use here onelyonly, bu… in other countries the same. It was a great mercy of God, that I had not my braines knockt out in the Low-countries, for not drinking a great mans healthe, and losing mine owne.
In the Dukedome of Massovia, it is no more amongst health quaffers, but either drinke to me, or fight with me: hence grow those many murthers, stabs, w…unds without cause (as Salomon speakes) quarrels, fightings, co…tentions, and debates which we usually heare of, both at home and abroad.
Now what's the reason of all, but this, long custome,Their misprision of …onour and reputation. and the pravity and wickednesse of men, hath made it a kinde of affront, indignity, discourtesie, and wrong both to him that begins the health, to those that second it, and to the person that is remembred in it, to refuse or passe it by, and not to pledge it, as St. Austin, Ambrose, Ierom, &c. testifie, besides our own experience.
And many men thinke, they cannot doe their absent friends a greater honour▪ yea, their friends also take it for an high honour.
But, O the stupidity both of the one and the other! for can this be any honour or credit unto any, to be thus dishonoured of every infamous and beastly drunkard, of every pot-companion, Tunne, or Hogshead; to be the dayly phrase, the Theame the Rhetoricke of every ebrious and luxurious sot; the occasion, cause, and patronage of drunkennesse and excesse? yea, what Christian would not scorne to have their healthes, their names, their place and persons made a common Prologue or praeludium, an ordinary bawd or pandor, an usuall in-let, way, or passage to drunkennesse and excesse, a common shoe-horne, baite, or engine to force or draw men on to drinke beyond all measure, a dayly patronage, plea, or sanctuary to justifie and beare out, or else a frequent, but unjust apology or excuse to extenuate, salve, or mitigate the excesse of sinne, and infamous, wicked, base, and swinish men?
It was a noble answer of a great Prince, Doe not drinke my health, but pray for it: and a wise reply of a grave and worthy States-man of this Kingdome, I will pray for the Kings health, but drinke for mine owne. And surely none but sots will bring themselves into grievous diseases by drinking healthes to other men; and such is the case of health drinkers. What said Callisthenes to one that urg'd him to drinke at Alexanders Feast, as others did? I will not, for who so drinketh to Alexander, had need of Aesculapius, Examples of some that have drunke other mens healthes, and their owne deaths.meaning a Physitian.
Nay, it's well if they prevent not the Physitian, and drinke not themselves past all hope of recovery; for not seldome doe they save the Physitian a labour, and drinke at once anothers health, their owne death, as I could instance in sundry examples, I'le onelyonly give you two, but they are as good as twenty.
At one supper, which Alexander prepared for his Favourites and Captaines, there was no lesse then one and forty; which kild themselves in that goodly conflict of carousing healthes. Where Promachus having swallowed downe foure Gallons of wine, got the prize and victory.
And at another drinking feast, or combat which he appointed for the Indians, himselfe dranke his death and ruine, in quaffing off a whole carouse or health out of Herc…es cup, and to beare him company, there was five and thirty more at the same time dranke themselves dead in the place, and never revived more, with carousing healthes and rounds.
There is another example recorded, which is so remarkable, that I am loth to passe it, though the circumstances vary. It is recorded of Popelus the second, King of Poland, that having incurred the displeasure of his Nobility through his ill government, for which they intended to depose him; he feigned himselfe to be very sicke, by his Queenes advice, and thereupon sent for twenty of the chiefe Princes of Pomerania, who had the principall voice in the election of the Pol…nian Kings, to come and visit him in this his sicknesse, which they did accordingly; the King upon their comming, requested them to elect his sonne to the Kingdome after his decease, which thing they answered they would willingly doe, if the rest of the Nobility would consent; the Queene in the meane time provides a cup of sudden poyson, of purpose to dispatch them, and presents it to them all, to drinke the King her husbands health; they to testifie their love and alleagiance to the King, dranke off the cup, as their manner was, unto his health, but to their owne instant confusion and immediate death, and to the subversion of all the stocke and race of the Polonian Princes: a sudden and fearefull, yet a just j…dgement of God upon these Princes, who were much addicted to the drinking of healthes formerly. But loe the infinite justice of God on both hands, for out of the dead and poysoned Carkases of these Princes, there issued such infinite troopes and swarmes of Rats and Mice, as chased Popelus, his wife, and all his children from place to place, both by Sea and land, till at last they were forced to flye to the strong castle of Oraccovia, where they were drowned, and eaten up of these Rats and Mice, in despite of Guard and Garisons, and all those Arts and policies of fire and water-workes that were used to secure them; as the Polonian Histories doe at large declare.
But not to travell so farre for examples; how many health-sokers and drunkards may we see or heare of every yeare, within the verge and compasse of our land, who doe suddenly consume, perish, and come to a fearfull end, being cut downe by strange and unexpected deathes, in the very act of their sinnes, before they had any time, or space to repent; whose deathes, even charity it selfe, must needs judge most miserable, seeing they dye in their sinnes, and are taken away in Gods just wrath, even whilst they are sacrificeing their soules to Sathan. And doth not the very Eccho of these drunken and excessive healthes, dayly cry in the eares of God for vengeance, on all that use them, if not upon the whole Land, for their sakes? yea undoubtedly.