Abuses Stripped and Whipped, Book · Satire 7
OF IEALOVSIE.
SATYR. 7
BVt though these angry-ones soon breed a braule
And are pernicious to conuerse with-all.
Not one …ot better is the iealous-head,
That thinks his friend, and's wife are still a-bed:
This Passion, (as it plainely doth appeare)
Proceeds out of a too-much louelove with feare;
LoueLove in a match procures the highest bliss,
That for vsus men on earth ordained is:
But adde a feare of loosing of our ioy,
And that we louelove so dearely, 'twill destroy
All our delights; and strewing good with ill,
Makes that seeme lost which we hauehave with vsus still:
Thus doth it often with the Iealous proue,
VVho carefull in the choosing of his louelove,
Hath gotten her that is not faire alone;
But modest, wise, and curteous, hating none,
Nor yet affecting any but her peere,
For which good parts, her husband counts her deere,
As well he may, her vertues he'll vphold,
Dares sweare she will not be allur'd with gold.
Honor, nor beauty; but as she is chast
So hee's perswaded will be to the last;
And to himselfe so well he seemes to thriue,
He thinkes his owne the happiest choise aliue,
'Tis good: Thus for no hurt, he wiued well;
But soft there, there is an after part to tell;
This man when he by daily proofe doth see,
His wife no other then a wife should be,
It so augments his LoueLove to that extreame,
He knowes not if he be awake or dreame;
Now doth this LoueLove (for LoueLove will euer doe it)
For a Companion take in Feare vntounto it;
A feare of loosing what he loues so much;
And then the nature of this feare is such,
That it begets suspect; which creeping in
Doth by a little at the first begin
To make him doubt his spouse doth loosely liue;
Whereto vponupon a slight report to giuegive
Firme credence he seemes loth; but yet ere long
He doth (but) think perhaps she doth him wrong,
Which if he doe, that one false thought's enough,
To giuegive all former truths the ouerthrow,
And why? Suspect growes thereupon so great,
See thrusts true iudgement, quite besides her seat:
Which being done, then straight begins to wane,
The good conceit he of his bliss had tane;
For if his friend doth to his house repaire,
He thinkes tis onelyonly, cause his wife is faire:
But if't be strangers, he durst pawne his life,
There's some compact betweene them & his wife:
Yea though their busines to himselfe he find,
He thinks tis b…t a hood to keep him blind;
Then all the sweet he had is turn'd to sowre,
Faine would he think well, but hath not the powre;
Much care torments his heart, and yet he will,
Be prying farther to encrease it still:
Yea, he will seeke, although he truely know,
The more he seekes, the more he findes his woe:
Beside, suspect receiueth in the head,
All things that may be mis-interpreted,
And the best thought her vertue's like to winne
Is onelyonly this: It seru'd to cloake her sinne.
In briefe, his liking thus he marreth quight,
And there he loath's where once he tooke delight;
But wherefore? OnelyOnly cause he doth mistrust,
And not on any proofe, that she's vniust:
Vnhappy woman haplesly to wed
So meere a sot, and such a Iealous head;
An owle-eyed buzzard, that by day is blind,
And sees not things apparant; yet can find
That out which neuer was. The feare to loose
The Iewell he aboue all Iemms did chuse,
That feare, I say, of wit doth so bereaue him,
He thinks that's gone which means not yet to leaue him:
Oh foolish man, that hauing gain'd a bliss,
Doost mak't a curse by vsing it amiss,
If iudgement be not blinded in thee? looke;
Try if thou hast not all this while mistooke:
Is not thy wife still faire? and to the eye
Seemes she not yet to hauehave that modesty,
Thou didst commend her for? Is she not wary
With whom she walks, or speaks, or where to tarie?
Is she not still as willing for to please;
As louing toe, as in her former daies?
In shew he sees it, but he thinks 'tis fein'd,
Out blockish dolt that art most iustly pain'd:
Thou but a few supposed shadowes hast,
That makes thee to account thy wife vnchast,
But many firme substantiall proofes make cleare,
That shee's vnstain'd, and ought to be as deare
As e're she was; Why should an ill in thee
Make her seeme so, vnlesse she euill be?
A woman that is faire, shall much be view'd,
And hauehave perhaps vnlook't for fauours shew'd,
She shall be courted where she will or no,
Nay be resorted to; and though she show
Scarcely so much as common curtesies
She shalbe censur'd by misiudging eyes,
And false reports will fly; But what of this?
Shall he that hath had triall what she is,
And ne're saw ought amiss, shall he, I say,
Cast all the good conceit he had away;
And streight grow iealous, trusting the surmise
Of the lewd vulgar more then his owne eyes?
It were mad folly; and yet I doe knowe
Some that are thus besotted, more's their woe.
And pitty 'twere but they had horned him,
Were't not a greater pitty so to sinne:
Should you but sit with such a one at table,
To hold from laughter you were scarcely able,
To see what note the Iealous wood-cock-takes,
Of his Wiues words, and eueryevery looke she makes,
In what a feare he eates his meate, and drinks:
What signes he vses, how he nods and winks,
With twenty scuruy gestures; though he see
No reason he should so suspicious be:
Now some hauehave cause enough, but that's all one;
Why should men striue to hold what will be gone,
Vexing themselues so for anothers ill,
Which they can neuer help? Let him that will:
But this is true, to seeke for to restraine
A womans will, is labour spent in vaine;
And he that tries to doe it, might hauehave bin,
One of the crew that bedg'd the Cuckow in.
Why should a man go put himselfe to paine,
As some hauehave done, a iourney for to faine?
And then at night come lurk about his house,
Where, be it but the stirring of a mouse
He doth obserue it: wherefore doth he so?
Since if thereby he ought amisse doth know,
The greatest good that he shall thereby find,
Is more vexation to molest his mind:
For then the mischiefe he but fear'd before,
Hee's certaine of, and need not doubt it more:
A goodly meed, but sure those wretched elues,
Take pleasure in tormenting of themselues;
They hearken, watch, set spies, and alway long
To heare some tales or inckling of their wrong:
And he that can but whisper some such fable,
Shall be the welcom'st guest that sits at table,
Though it be ne're so false; they louelove so well
To feele the Torture of this earthly hell:
But I doe muse what diuell keeps their heart,
They should affect the causers of their smart;
Those euer-buzzing-deadly-stinging flies;
Those that of Echoes onelyonly can deuise
A formall Lie. What if't be true they say?
It is a meanes to draw thy louelove away
From her thou ow'st it to; and that's a crime,
Cause she must be thy best belou'd a time,
Better or worse, be sure thou must abide her,
Till from thy selse the death of one deuide her:
Then tell me were it not by much lesse paine;
A good opinion of her to retaine?
Could'st thou not be contented by thy will,
At least to thinke that she were honest still?
Yes sure in heart thou would'st be glad,
Vnlesse that thou wer't voide of sense, or mad:
Why shake off all these claw-backs then that vse
Thy soone-beleeuing-heart for to abuse;
For (trust me) they, are but some spightfull elues,
Who cause they hauehave not the like blisse themselues
Would faine marre thine; or else I dare be bold,
If thou the truth couldst warily vnfold,
They are some lust-stung Villaines, that did court
Thy honest wife to some vnlawfull sport:
And finding her too-chast to serue their turne,
Whose euill hearts with foule desires did burne,
To spight her (being far more euill doers,
Then Daniels elders, faire Susannaes woers)
To thee they doe accuse her of an ill,
VVhereto they sought for to allure her will:
Nay, this I wish thee whatsoe're he be,
That of such dealings first informeth thee;
Beleeue him not what proofes so ere he bring.
Do not giuegive eare to him for any thing:
And though he be the nearest friend thou hast,
From such like knowledge shut all sence vp fast;
Flye and auoid him as thou wouldst the Diuel,
Or one that brings thee messages of euill:
Let him be to thee as thy deadliest foe,
A fury, or some one thou loathe'st to know;
And be assured what soere he shewes,
He is no friend of thine that brings that newes,
So if that thou wert his most deadly foe,
For any wrong i… were reuenge enough.
Now some men I hauehave noted louelove as well,
The husbands faults vntounto the wife to tell,
And aggrauate them to: as if thereby
They either meant to feed their Iealousie,
Or else stir vp their vnbeseeming hates,
Against their guiltlesse well-beloued mates:
But of these monsters (fairest sexe) beware
Of their insinuations hauehave a care:
Beleeue them not they wil coyne tales vntrue,
To sow foule strife betwixt your loues and you
Out of ill-will: or else heere is my doome,
They hope to get into your husbands roome
By the aduantage of the discontent
They'll worke in you, But their intent
They'l soe disguise, that you shal neuer spy them▪
Til you are snar'd too fast for to deny them:
But oh you Creatures that for excellence,
HaueHave reasonable for a difference,
Auoid this passion; If your wiues be ill,
Aduise them well, but let them hauehave their will,
For curbing makes them worse, and their condition
Indeed is such they cannot brooke suspition;
Restraine them not I say, for as the pouder,
Being fast stopt makes the report the louder,
Sending the bullet with the greatest force,
So he …at seekes to barre a womans course,
Makes her more eager, and can ne're out-striue her,
But on she wil because the Diuel doth driue her.
Let those that are so matcht then patience take,
And there are none shal know their heads do ake,
But beware chiefely that no false surmises,
Or flying tale some enuious head deuises,
Make them to wrong their chast and modest wiues,
Who hauehave with vertue led vnspotted liues,
For though some stand vnmoou'd for thats the way,
To make a woman soonest go astray:
But now I think on't, I do wonder why,
The greatest part brand him with infamy,
That is a Cuckold? Since that all men know,
It is not his offence that he is so,
I neuer heard a reason fort it'h Schooles,
Yet sure tis this, the greatest part are fooles:
But now I will conclude these I ealous humors,
Which part I found b'experience, part by rumors;
I feele it not, yet know it is a smart
That plagues the mind and gripes the very heart,
Yet I could wish but for the others sake,
Their thought-tormenting-paine might neuer slake;
For there's none iealous, I durst pawne my li…e,
But he that hath defil'd anothers wife.