Exposition of the Moral Law, Book 2 · Commandment 5 · Exercitation 4
EXERCITAT. IV. Of the duties of children to their parents. Commandement V.
Exod. 20. Honour thy father and thy mother. Levit. 19.3. Ye ſhall feare every man his mother and his father.
CReated goodneſſe hath ſome ſimilitude with that eternall goodneſſe which is in God; Gods attributes are his power, his wiſdome and his goodnes; and they who have theſe by participation them wee are bound to honour, whether they participate with him in his power, wiſdome or goodneſſe: in his power, as our parents circa eſſe naturale, who are the inſtruments of our being, and beget us: and then circa eſſe ſpirituale, as paſtours who beget us in Ieſus Chriſt, and make us reſemble the Lord. 1. Cor. 4.15. And thirdly, quoad eſſe temporale, the ſimilitude of Gods goodneſſe appeareth more in princes preſerving and protecting us, all theſe wee are bound to honour and reverence.
Duties of children to their parents.The children owe to their parents three things, reverence, obedience, and gratitude:
Why the mother is put before the father.Firſt they owe reverence; for honour, the father is ſet before the mother; and for feare, the mother is ſet before the father, Levit. 19.3. to teach us that wee ſhould honour and feare, as well our mother as our father. Moſes ſaith, He who curſeth his father and his mother, let him die the death. Levit. 20.9. but Marc. 7.10. He who curſeth his father or his mother: and Prov. 15.20.foreign maledixit. foreign vilipendit. foreign honoravit. A fooliſh man deſpiſeth his mother. Exod. 21.17. He who curſeth his father or his mother: but Deut. 27.16. He who ſetteth light by his parents: Calal and Calah. Calal eſt maledicere, and Calah eſt vilipendere, oppoſite to Cabhad honorare. Prov. 30.28. What is that, to ſet light by them? who thinke little thing of them, and give not all due reſpects unto them, and helpe them not in their neceſſity; then they are ſaid to ſet light by their parents: what is this feare (ſay the Hebrewes) which is required of children towards their parents? Firſt,What feare is required of children to their parents. that they ſit not in their place, Prov. 30.28. Her children riſe up and call her bleſſed. Nec deſtruunt verba eorum, that is, they carpe not at their words: and they ſay farther, that children are not to call their parents neither living nor dead by their proper names, but to call their father ſir. Example, Mat. 21.30. I goe ſir, and to call them mother. As 1. King. 2.20. And Salomon ſaid, aske on my mother, and to entertaine this due reverence and reſpect in their hearts,Children may not teſtifie againſt their parents in judgement. they were not to looke upon their fathers nakedneſſe. Gen. 9. And laſtly they might not teſtifie againſt their parents in judgement, although they were guilty, except onelyonly in matters of idolatrie and treaſon. Example, Deut. 33.9. Of Levi, who ſaid unto his father and to his mother, I have not ſeene him, neither did he acknowledge his brethren, nor know his owne children; for they have obſerved thy word and kept thy covenant. They preferred the glory of God to the honour of their earthly parents, and ſpared them not when they committed idolatry. So in the caſe of treaſon, the child is bound to teſtifie againſt his father to diſcover the treaſon, but after the treaſon is committed, hee is not bound to teſtifie, or give any evidence againſt his father.
The children called their father Abbi, and their mother Immi; foreignMy father and my mother. Eſay. 8.4. Servants amongſt the Hebrewes might not call their maſters Abba, nor their miſtris Immi, but when their maſters adopted them, then they might call him Abh, & the Apoſtle alludeth to this forme.Alluſion. Rom. 8.15. Ye have not received the ſpirit of bondage againe to feare, but yee have received the ſpirit of adoption, whereby we cry Abba father. And the Apoſtle of purpoſe keepeth the Syriack word Abba, and tranſlateth it not, that he may ſhew the alluſion more clearely.Children owe obedience to their parents.
The ſecond thing which children owe to their parents is obedience; the Rechabites are a notable example of obedience to their father Ionadab, The Rhechabites, an example of obedience.their father commanded them that they ſhould not dwell in houſes, nor ſow fields, nor plant vineyards, nor drinke wine. Ier. 35.6. this was but a humane precept, as ye may ſee by the oppoſition made betwixt it and Gods commandement, and yet they kept it for three hundred yeares; Ionadab lived in the dayes of Iehu, and his ſonnes in the dayes of Iehoiachim, and yet they thought they were bound to obey their fathers commandement, which obedience the Lord rewarded. Ier. 35.18. and he taketh an example from them to convict the Iewes who would not obey the Lord.foreign. Children muſt not be foreign, unruly,foreign abſque iugo or untamed, like beaſts which know not the yoke, theſe are the ſonnes of Belial, without a yoke; theſe the poets call intacta cervice, that is, that have not felt the yoke,foreign. contrary to theſe are obedient, foreign, folij obedientiae. 1. Pet. 1.14.
The ſpeciall part of Childrens obedience towards their parents, is to be directed by them in their mariage. So Sampſon ſought the conſent of his parents to his marriage. Iudg. 14.2.
Whether is the conſent of parents neceſſary for children to be had in their marriage or not? Queſt.
There is a two fold neceſſity, a naturall neceſſity, Anſw. and a morall neceſſity, a naturall neceſſity is that without the which the mariage cannot conſiſt, as the conſent of the parents to thoſe who are to bee married;Neceſiitas Naturalis. Moralis. Whether the conſent of the parents be neceſſary in the marriage of their children. a morall neceſſity is that, without the which the mariage cannot bee well done; when Eſau married the daughters of Heth. Gen. 27.46. He had not the conſent of his parents, it was a marriage, but a bad marriage.
There is one exception, if the mother be a common harlot, then the child ought the leſſe reverence to her. Hoſ. 2.2. Plead with your mother, plead: for ſhee is not my wife, neither am I her husband; and Verſ. 4. Her children be the children of whoredomes.
The third thing which children owe to their parents is maintenance: we have a notable example of this,Children ſhould give maintenance to their parents. Gen. 47.12. And Ioſeph nouriſhed his father and his brethren, in the originall it is, hee nouriſhed him as mothers doe their little children by putting meat into their mouth, Lepi Hataph, foreignſo Chriſt had a care to leave his mother to Iohn to be intertained. Iohn 19.27. There are two beaſts ſet downe in the ſcripture, who teach the parents the dutie towards their children, and children their dutie towards their parents; the firſt is the Wolfe, the ſecond is the Lyon; the Wolfe teacheth parents to provide for their children, when hee hunteth for his prey in the morning hee divideth it among his young ones in the evening: So parents ſhould provide for their children, and give every one their portions: Benjamin is compared to this Wolfe, Gen. 49. Secondly, the Lyon teacheth children to provide for their parents, and to maintaine them; the young Lyon when he hunteth for his prey and catcheth it, hee roareth and calleth the old Lyon to the prey, who is not able of himſelfe to hunt or catch the prey, and Amos alludeth to this. Cap. 3.4. Will the Lyon roare unleſſe hee have catched his prey: and ſo the fowle which teacheth children to provide for their parents,foreign. is the Storke, ſhee is called Storke from foreign naturall affection, becauſe ſhe provideth for the old, and ſhee is called foreign, hence commeth foreign,foreign. when the children ſtudie to requite their parents; and in the Hebrew ſhee is called Hhaſidah, benignitas. 1. Tim. 5.4. If a widdow have children let them learne to requite their parents, in the Syriack it is, rependere faenus parentibus. A man divideth his goods in three part; Firſt, ſo much he ſpendeth upon himſelfe his wife and familie; Secondly, ſo much he giveth to the poore; Thirdly, ſo much hee lendeth to his children looking for intereſt backe againe; and the Hebrewes ſay, that children ſhould give to their parents meat, drinke, and cloathes, and that they ſhould lead them in and lead them out; and they adde fatrher that they ſhould honour the Lord with their ſubſtance if they have any, but they are to honour their parents whether they have ſubſtance or not; if they have not, they are to begge for their parents; but with this condition,The children are bound to bury their parents honeſtly. the child is bound to maintaine his father in his old age, if his father had brought him up in ſome lawfull calling when hee was young, whereby he might gaine his living, otherwiſe if he had no care of his education, he was not bound to performe this duty to his parents.
So the child is bound to burie his father. Luc. 9.59. Hence commeth that word amongſt the Latines parentare, to doe the laſt dutie to their parents in burying them decently, and parentalia the dutie it ſelfe.
The ſuperſtitious and avaritious Iewes taught that children were not bound to relieve their fathers neceſſitie, if they had made a vow. Mat. 23. they band their vows by an oath, that ſuch & ſuch a man ſhould have no profit by them; and the oath was by the gift, and ſo they were inſtructed, that if any man ſwore by the altar, it was nothing;The Iewes taught their children not to helpe their parents if they had vowed the contrary. but if hee ſwore by the gift which was upon the altar, then he was a debter; when hee ſaid, by this gift thou ſhalt have no profit by me, then in no caſe they might helpe their parents.
Amongſt the Hebrewes (as the Talmud ſaith) there was [Muddir,] devovens, and [Muddar,] devotum, Talmud. tractatu de votis. foreign devovens. foreign votum.that which they call Muddar was of two ſorts, the firſt was Muddar Hanaah, the ſecond was Muddar Ahohhel; the firſt they called votum nihili, the ſecond they called votum comeſtionis; when they made the firſt ſort of vow,foreign votum nihili. foreign votum come ſtienis, they might give them nothing nor helpe them at all; when they made the ſecond ſort of vow, they might lend them any thing that pertained not to the dreſſing of meat, as cloathes, jewels, or rings, but they might lend them nothing to dreſſe their meat with, as pannes, pots, or ſuch, when they taught their children here Mat. 23. to vow ſuch vowes, there votum was votum nihili, that is, they might lend them nothing, nor helpe them; By the gift if yee have any profit by me, they meant, they ſhould have no profit by them, and they underſtood the curſe to light upon them, if they helped them.