The Amendment of Life, Book 3 · Chapter 1
Chapter. 1.
WE hauehave in the former bookes propounded ſome examples of the thinges wherein wee ought principally to refourme our liues, and to amend. Now let vsus vnderſtand who ought to amend. Anie man, euen wythout ſtudie, will anſwere, that euerie Chriſtian is bounde thereto. And it is true, for there is no man whoſoeuer, but both needeth and is bound to amende his life in the premiſes, as alſo in euerie other the dueties required in the generall vocation and calling of a Chriſtian. Neuertheleſſe there bee alſo certaine particular callinges, wherein eache man in his owne behalfe is to vnderſtand what God requireth of men in the ſame, that ſo they may reforme theyr faultes, and more vertuouſly emploie themſelues in theyr vocations, according to the wyll of God. But of theſe wee wyll conſider onelye of eight. Firſt, of the husband to the wife, and the wife to the husbande. Next, of parents to theyr children, and of children to theyr parents. Then of the Magiſtrate to the ſubiect, and of the ſubiect to the magiſtrate. Laſtly, of the miniſters of the word to the congregation, and of the congregation to their miniſters.
2 As concerning the dueties of thoſe that are vnited by marryage,Gen. 2 ſome there are that bee common to eyther partie, and ſome that particularly doo importe the husbande to the wife, and other ſome the wife to her husband. But firſt wee wyll intreate of thoſe that bee common to both.Iohn 2.1 Heb. 4.4 Moſes writing of the inſtitution of Marriage, doeth euidently declare, that it is a holy ordinance of God. Ieſus Chriſt alſo honoured it both with his preſence and firſt myracle. And the Apoſtle to the Hebrewes ſayth, that marriage is honourable. Such therefore as doo aſpyre thereunto, are to beginne in prayer and holyneſſe to God:1. Cor. 7.2 And hauing attayned to that eſtate, to vſe this benefite of marriage as an holy ordynance of God, in all godlyneſſe and puritie, for a remedie againſt the weakneſſe of the fleſh, as the Apoſtle Paule teacheth, and not for prouocation and luſt to intemperancie. True it is, that honeſtie of marryage grounded vppon Gods ordinaunce, doeth couer the ſhame of incontinencie, yet not ſo, as that wee ſhoulde defyle and pollute that eſtate by admitting all thinges,Amboſ. li. de Philoſ. but that wee ſhoulde ſo vſe it, as there myght bee no exceſſe in diſſolution, neyther anie intemperancie contrarie to the holyneſſe of marryage. And in deede Saint Ambroſe reproouing thoſe that doo abuſe it in laſciuious exceſſe, tearmeth them fornicatours wyth theyr wiues. And albeit that tearme ſeemeth harde, yet let vsus not thinke or imagine that hee ſpake it wythout reaſon,Aug. againſt Iuli. li. 2 eſpecially conſidering that Saint Auguſtine alleadging this phraſe of ſpeech of Saint Ambroſe, ſheweth ſufficiently that he allowed of his iudgement.
3 Secondly, when God created the woman, hee ſayde,Gen. 2.18 It is not good that man ſhoulde bee alone, I will make him a helpe, meete for him. But whatſoeuer is ſayde of the woman, that ſhee ſhould bee a helpe to the man, muſt alſo bee put in practiſe,1. Cor. 7 and exerciſed by the husbande towarde the wife, according to the doctrine of the Apoſtle Saint Paule, whether in auoyding fornication, whether in procuring generation, & the education and bringing vp of children, whether in mayntaining a familie, or for the ſeruice of God and ſaluation of ſoules. Heereby it euidently appeareth, that the duetie common both to the husband and wife, importeth, that the one ſhoulde aide and helpe the other.1. Cor. 7.2 Firſt, that they maye leade theyr liues in chaſtitie and holyneſſe, as the holie Apoſtle Paule noteth, where hee ſetteth downe the ende of marryage. Next, that to auoyde fornication, euerie man ſhoulde hauehave his owne wife, and euerie woman her owne husband. And thus the duetie of the husbande and the wyfe conſiſteth in this, that they liue together in all chaſtitie and pureneſſe: and that they take greate heede and beware of breaking the bonde, and infringing and violating the ſayth of marriage by fornication or adulterie: which ſinne we hauehave before declared to bee a deteſtable abhomination in the ſight both of God and man. If ſuch as wanting the remedie of marryage, by committing fornication, doo incurre an offence worthie euerlaſting damnation: What may thoſe deſerue, who hauing a remedie for theyr infyrmitie, doo neuertheles ouerflow in adulterie? Yet is it not inough onelie to abſtaine from this abhomination, vnleſſe wee alſo forbeare from eueryevery thing that may ſeeme to tend thereunto, or to containe anie beginning, apparance, allurement, or occaſion of euill: Firſt, becauſe that by the lawe all this is prohibited,Exod 20.14 euen in theſe expreſſe woordes, Thou ſhalt not commit adulterie. For the worde Adulterie, comprehendeth all prouocations, geſtures,Math. 5.28, ſpeeches, yea, euen vnchaſt lookes. And therefore ſayth Ieſus Chriſt, Hee that looketh vppon another mannes wife, to lust after her, hath alreadie committed adulterie with her in his heart. Next, that wee maye preuent all argument of iealouſie, a moſt daungerous diſeaſe, and of great difficultie to cure. For, as Chriſoſtome ſayeth,Chriſoſt. vpō the 2. of Mathew. Iulius Caeſar Plutarch in the life of Iulius Caeſar. Where either the husbande or the wife is tainted with ielouſie, they beleeue euerie word that they heare ſpoken touching theyr paſsion, albeit it beare no apparance of truth. When a certaine Romane Emperour determined to put awaie his wife, hee alledged this reaſon. An Emperours wife, ſayde hee, muſt ſo beare her ſelfe, that the incurre no ſuſpition of euill. How much rather ought this to bee practiſed among Chriſtian husbands and wiues, as well to auoide occaſion of offence, as for feare leaſt iealouſie ſhoulde conuert marriage into a moſt miſerable and wretched eſtate.
4 Agayne, as marriage was alſo ordained for generation, ſo in that part thereof there are ſome duties that particularly concerne the wife, and ſome that are common both to her and her husband. Of the particular duties of the wife, we will ſpeake heereafter. Thoſe therefore that are common to them both, doo concerne, firſt the inſtruction of theyr children, & that wee will alſo referre to be intreated of in the Chapter that handleth The duties of parents toward the children: ſecondly, the meanes to bring vp theyr children, and to maintaine theyr family. For the care and burthen thereof is common: yet ſo, as properly the husband is to get it and to bring it in, and the wife to order and diſpoſe it. Howbeit the dutie of the wife or of the husbād doth not ſo exempt either of them, but that ſhe alſo according to her ability and power muſt help her husband to get it, & he likewiſe in his diſcretion direct hir in the diſpenſatiō thereof. Hee that doth not orderly gouerne his houſe, Prou 11.29ſhall inherite the winde, ſayth Salomon. And order conſiſteth in this, that the husband follow his buſineſſe, traffique, or calling, without anie moleſtation of the wife, who ought not to meddle or controll him therin, but with great diſcretion and gentleneſſe: as alſo the husband is not to deale but ſoberly and in great diſcretion with houſholde affayres that are proper to the wife. The man is iealous of his authoritie and reputation, and the woman inclined to ſuſpect her ſelf to be deſpiſed. Wherefore as the husband cannot well abide that his wife ſhould ſhew her ſelfe more skilfull and wife in his buſines than himſelfe: ſo cannot the wife ſuffer that her husband ſhoulde deſpiſe and account her a foole, by medling with her ſmall houſehold affayres.
5 As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife conſiſteth in looking to that which is aforeſayd, to the end their marriage may be quiet, and themſelues liue together in louelove: euen ſo an idle and vnthriftie husband, and a prodigall and ſlouthfull wife, are two redie wayes to deſtruction. The husband that hath ſuch a wife, caſteth his labours into a bottomleſſe ſacke: and the wife that is ſped of ſuch a husband, draweth a cart heauie loden, through a ſandie waie without a horſe. Such a husband, eſpecially if idlenes drawe him to louelove and haunt tauernes, is cruell to his wife and children: and ſuch a wife confoundeth her husband, and bringeth reproch & pouertie to her whole family. The remedie for the husband that hath ſuch a wife, is patience with ſome ſeueritie, diſcreet admonitions, and prayer to God: as alſo the helpe for the wife that hath ſuch a husband, is tolleration, gentle exhortation, and cheerefull and louing entertainment of her husband, whereby to induce him willingly to keepe home.
6 They are alſo to be mutuall helpes each to other in matters concerning their own ſaluation and the ſeruice of God. Firſt, if one of them, as ſaith the Apoſtle be an vnbeleeuer, the other muſt labour to drawe his partie to the knowledge of the truth. S. Paul exhorting the husband & wife of contrarie religions, not to part, but to dwel together: addeth a notable reſon, ſaying:1. Cor. 7.16 What knoweſt thou O man, whether thou ſhalt ſaue thy wife, or thou O woman, whether thou ſhalt ſaue thy husband? Therein declaring, that the faithfull perſon in dutie is to labour & indeuor to win his partie to the knowledge of the truth, and ſo to ſaue her. S. Peter exhorteth wiues to be ſubiect to their husbands, albeit vnbeleeuers,1. Pet. 3.1 and ſuch as do not obey the word, that ſo without ſpeech, by their holy and vertuous conuerſation they may winne them. Secondly, if both bee beleeuers, their duetie is to confyrme each other in the time of perſecution, that they may conſtantly follow Ieſus Chriſt. Salomon indeuouring to declare the fruites of marriage,Wiſ. 4.10.12. ſayth: Two are more able to with, and temptations, and a line of three twists is not ſo ſoone broken. They are … each to helpe vp other, if either of them happen to … or ſinne.Wiſ. 4.…. Two are better (ſayeth the ſame Salomon … they hauehave better wages for their labour. And if they … will … vp the other: but wo vntounto him that is alone, for if he … lift him vp. They ought alſo each to per… …, to relieue the poore, diligently to frequent …, to vſe prayers, and ſupplications, and praiſe, and thankeſgiuings to the Lord, to comfort each other in the time of affliction: to be ſhort, either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God, … in all duties and exerciſes beſeeming the children of God. In this m…nner did that holy woman, Elizeus hotteſſe, exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the prophet to lodge in. Saint Paul alſo ſayth,2. King. 4.1…. 1. Cor. …4.… That women, deſirous to learne, ſhould queſtion with theyr husbandes at home. Whereby he ſheweth, that the husband ought to bee ſo inſtructed, as hee maie bee readie to inſtruct his wyfe at home. And in deede, a heathen Philoſopher in this ſenſe ſayth verie well,Plutarch in the rules of marriage. That the husband, after the example of the Bee, ſhould euerie where gather euerie good inſtruction, that he might be able to impart it to his wife, and by hauing communication, acquaint her therewith. Thus, ſayeth hee, maye the mindes of women well taught, be wonne from vanitie to vertue.
7 Other duties there are which be common both to the husband & the wife, as among the reſt, ſuch as proceed of the vnion of marryage, wherof God in the inſtitution thereof ſayde, They are one fleſh. And Ieſus Chriſt confyrmed, ſaying, Two ſhall bee one … And therfore in Saint Marke hee addeth, They are no more two but one fleſh. Gen 2.24 Math. 19.5 Marke 10.8.And in deede, if Eue being created of one of the ribbes of Adam, was as parte of himſelfe: then is the wife alſo a parte of her husband, and as the one halfe of himſelfe. And of this vn… and coniunction proceedeth the mutuall louelove betweene man and wife. For no man, ſayth Saint Paule, hateth his owne fleſh but loueth and cheriſheth it. And ſpeaking to husbandes, hee ſayeth, Husbandes louelove your wiues. Epheſ. 5.15. Titus 2.4 Eccle. 25.1.And writing to Titus, hee commaundeth him to exhort the elder women to teach the younger to bee modeſt, and to louelove theyr husbandes. Three thinges (ſayth Wiſedome) doo reioyce thee, and with them am I beautifyed before God and men: Vnitie of brethren, louelove of neighbours, a man and wife that agree together. But ſyth the foundation of this mutuall louelove is the vnity of marriage, wherby the husband and the wife are made one fleſh, the husbande as the head, the wife as the bodie. It followeth, that this louelove muſt bee ſtedfaſt, not variable, and that the vnion of marriage continue, notwithſtanding whatſoeuer befall either the husband or the wife. Notwithſtanding whatſoeuer complexions, I ſaie, natures & infyrmities may appeare, whatſoeuer ſickneſſe, loſſe of goods, iniuries, griefes, or other inconueniences that may ariſe, yet ſo long as the foundation of louelove, that is, the vnion of marriage doth continue, ſo long muſt louelove and affection remaine. God commandeth vsus to louelove our neighbors as our ſelues, becauſe they be of our fleſh. Albeit therefore that hee contemne, hate, offend, or wrong vsus: albeit he bee our enemie, and in reſpect of himſelfe, deſerueth not that wee ſhould louelove him, yet becauſe hee is of our fleſh, the foundation of louelove remayning, wee muſt louelove him. As alſo our ſauiour Ieſus Chriſt ſayth, LoueLove your enemies, bleſse thoſe that curſe you, Mat. 5.44.doo good to thoſe that hate you, and praie for thoſe that molest and perſecute you. Howe much rather ought they to put this in practiſe, who by the bonde of marryage are made one fleſh? The rather, becauſe the vnion betweene man and wife, is without compariſon more ſtraight, and bindeth them each to louelove other, much more than the coniunction whereby man is vnited vntounto his neighbour.
8 But this is the miſchiefe, that in many their louelove is not grounded vponupon the vnion of marriage, but vponupon beautie, riches, & other carnal and worldly conſiderations, ſubiect to chang, alteration and loſſe. This corruption that reſpecteth beautie, is olde, and noted to bee among the cauſes of the floud. The ſonnes of God, ſayth Moſes, ſeeing the daughters of men were faire, luſted after them, Gen. 6.2& toke them in marriage. But in deed, it is monie that maketh louelove, and riches ingender affection, witneſſe the experience of our daies. Yet ſuch louelove reſembleth onelyonly a fire of ſtraw, which is but a blaze and is ſoone out, vnles it be continued with great wood, or other lyke ſubſtance. LoueLove growing of beautie, riches, luſt, or anie other lyke ſlight, vncertain, and fraile grounds, is ſoone loſt and vaniſhed, vnleſſe it be maintained with the conſideration of this vnion of two in one fleſh, and the vertues thereto adioyned: and therefore muſt euerie man thinke vponupon this vnion in marriage, that he may inioy, nouriſh, & continue the louelove that therof procedeth: the rather becauſe ſuch louelove is the nurſe of cōcord, that maketh marriage happy. As contrariwiſe the want of this louelove is the fountaine of ſtrife, quarelling, debate, and other like afflictions that conuert the paradiſe of marriage into a hell.Auguſtine of baptiſme of children Diſſention between man and wife, ſaith. S Auguſtine, is the trouble and ouerthrow of the houſeholde. They that will auoid ſuch ſtrife, muſt therefore louelove each other: and eſpecially they muſt hauehave care heereof, when they are firſt married. For as a veſſell made of two peeces & glewed together, may at the firſt be eaſily broken, but in time groweth ſtrong: ſo is it alſo wyth two perſons that are glewed or ioyned together by the bond of marriage.
9 This louelove, the mother of peace, will ingender a care and dutie each to ſupport other, and ſo to practiſe the ſame which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers,Epheſ. 4.31 that is, To be gentle one to another, friendly, and each to forgiue other, euen as God hath forgiuen vsus through Christ: Let the husband thinke that he hath married a daughter of Adam with all her infyrmities: and likewiſe let the woman thinke that ſhe hath not married an Angell, but a child of Adam with his corruptions. And ſo let them both reſolue to beare that that cannot be ſoone amended. Let not the bodie complaine of the head, albeit it hauehave but one eie, neither the head of the bodie, albeit it be croked or miſhapen. Such defaultes doo neuer break vnion and louelove betweene the head and the bodie: neyther muſt the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the louelove that procedeth of the vnion in marriage. If the husband be giuen to brauling, or the wife to chiding, let them both beware of giuing anie occaſion. The bell hath a loude ſound, and therefore hee that wyll not heare it, muſt beware how hee pull the roape and ſhake it. So if the one wyll beginne to chide without a cauſe, let the other bee eyther deafe,Eraſ. Apotheg lib. 8 and ſo not heare it, or dumbe, and make no aunſwere. Heereto hath the ſaying of Alphonſus, king of Arragon, relation. Where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde, marriage is quyet and free from diſſention. Heereby meaning, that the wife muſt winke at many the infyrmities of her husband, as if ſhee ſee them not, and the husband put vp many ſhrewde ſpeeches of his wyfe, as if hee heard them not. Neyther can it bee anie reproch to the husband and wife ſo ſteadfaſtly vnited, to practiſe this dutie, conſidering that Dauid proteſteth, that hee vſed the like patience and diſcretion among his enemies,Pſalme 38.12 They that ſeek after my life lay ſnares, and they that go about to do me euil, talke wicked things, and imagine deceite continuallie. But I as a deafe man hearde not, and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth. Thus I am as a man that heareth not, and in whoſe mouth are no reproofes.
10 This vnion betweene man and wife doth alſo engender that dutie which the holy Ghoſt noteth ſaying:Mat. 19.5. Ephe. 5.31. For this cauſe ſhal a man leaue his father and mother, and cleaue to his wife: As alſo the wife in the like reſpect is bound to the like dutie toward her husband. Not the marriage exempteth any from their due honor and obedience to parents, but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parents. And indeede, the true louelove of the husband to the wife, and of the wife to the husband, ſurmounteth all louelove of children to their parents. The husband and the wife hauehave their ſecret counſels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commoditie. The wife is more obedient to her husband, and the husbandmore deſirous to pleaſe his wife, then their parents. Yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parents to keepe houſe by themſelues. And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachell being ſiſters, and the wiues of Iacob. For Iacob grieued at the wronge offered him by their father Laban, boldly made his moane to them: Wherupon they alſo complaining of their father agreed with Iacob, and conſented together to leaue their father, and to follow their husband Iacob. Herein likewiſe conſiſteth another dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband, namely that they ſhew no greater ſecrecie or communication of their houſholde affaires to their parents,Gen. 26. then mutually each to other, and this rule is eſpecially to be put in practiſe when they groweth any diſcontent betweene themſelues. For if the husband ſhould complaine to his parents of his wife, or the wife of her husband, ſuch dealing might breede a moſt dangerous ielouzie, and conſequently perhaps irreconciliable diſſention & ſtrife. But if it ſhould grow to any complaint, it were requiſite, ſo diſcreetly to proſecute the matter, as that the woman ſhould come to her husbands parents, and the husband to his wiues. So ſhould all cauſe of iealouzie ceaſe, and the complaint procure moſt aſſured remedie.
11 This vnion in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife: And that is, that they neuer ſeeke, neither once thinke of diuorce: And to that end let them remember what is written. That which God hath ioyned together, Matt 10.6.let no man put aſunder: Likewiſe that nothing but adulterie may ſeparate thoſe that are vnited by marriage. All other agreements and contracts, made by mutuall conſent, may be broken and diſſolued by the like conſent of both parties: but in the contract of marriage almightie God commeth in as a witnes: yea he receaueth the promiſe of both parties, as ioyning them in that eſtate. And this doth Salomon note,Prou. 2.17. where he obiecteth to the harlot that ſhe hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God. But Ma…achie ſpeaketh more plainely, and giueth a reaſon why God puniſhed ſuch husbands as leauing their lawful wiues tooke others: Becauſe, ſaith he,Mala. 2.14. the Lord hath beene witneſſe between thee & the wife of thy youth, againſt whom thou hast tranſgreſſed, yet is ſhe thy companion and the wife of thy couenant. The promiſe therefore to God cannot be broken, but onelyonly by his authoritie. In the daies of Moſes husbands were very eaſily and ſoone entreated to forſake their wiues, by giuing them a Bill of diuorce: Yet ſo farre was this courſe from being lawfull, that contrariwiſe, Ieſus Chriſt ſaith that it was tollerated onelyonly in reſpect of the hardneſſe of husbands hearts, who otherwiſe would hauehave vexed their wiues, and intreate them cruelly.Mat. 19.8, And this libell containing the cauſe of diuorce and putting away of the woman,Leuit. 20.10. did iuſtifie her and condemne the man. For ſeeing it was neuer giuen in caſe of adulterie, (which was puniſhed with death) all other cauſes aledged in the libell tended to iuſtifie the woman,Iohn. 8.5. and to declare that ſhe was wrongfully diuorced: and ſo condemned the husband, as one that contraried the firſt inſtitution of marriage, whereto Ieſus Chriſt, condemning this corruption,Mat. 1….1. doth returne them, ſaying: It was not ſo from the beginning, and therefore whoſoeuer ſhall put away his wife, except it be for whoredome, and marrie another, committeth Adulterie, and whoſoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced, doth commit Adulterie with her. So ſtraight is the bond of marriage.
12 Hereof it followeth that notwithſtanding whatſoeuer difficulties that may ariſe betweene the husband and the wife, whether it be long, tedious and incurable ſickeneſſe of either partie: whether naturall and contrarie humours that breede debate, wrangling, or ſtrife about houſeholde affaires: Whether it be any vice, as the husband to be a drunkerd, or the wife a ſlouthfull, Idle or vnthruſtie huſwife: whether either partie forſake the truth and profeſsion of religion, doe fall into Idolatrie or hereſie: Yet ſtill the bond of marriage remaineth ſteadfaſt and not to be diſſolued. Neither may they be ſeperated, euen by their owne mutuall conſent.Mat. 19.6. 2. Cor. 7.12. For as the holy Ghoſt hath pronounced, That which God hath ioyned together let not man put a ſunder. And therefore S. Paul ſaith. If any brother hauehave a wife that beleeueth not, if ſhee bee content to dwell with him, let him not forſake her. And the woman which hath a huſband that beleeueth not, if he be content to dwell with her, let her not forſake him. Alſo becauſe ſome did ſuppoſe that the vnbeleefe in any of the parties might breed ſome pollution or diſquiet in marriage, he aunſwereth, no: his reaſon: For the vnbeleeuing husband is ſanctified by his beleeuing wife: And the vnbeleeuing wife by her beleeuing husband. And this he proueth by affirming that the children iſſuing of ſuch a marriage be holy, that is to ſay, partakers of the couenant of God, and conſequently accepted into the fellow…hippe of the Church. OnelyOnly he addeth this exception, If the vnbeleeuing man depart and forſake his beleeuing wife, ſhee is not ſubie…t to follow him. And yet muſt this be vnderſtood, where ſuch departure ariſeth, either vponupon hatred that he beareth to the true religion, that his wife profeſſeth: or vponupon a deſire to vſe his polluted and falſe religion: For herein cannot his wife follow him without danger of defiling, and depriuing of her ſelfe of the profeſsion of the truth, together with the foode of her ſoule.
13 Likewiſe where S. Paule ſpeaking of the husband and wife,1. Cor. 7.11. both beleeuers, ſaith. If the woman depart from her husband, let her remaine vnmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: He therein meaneth not that it ſhall be lawfull for the woman becauſe ſhe cannot beare the troubleſome nature of her husband, or to auoide ſtrife & debate, to depart and liue as a widow: but only hee ſheweth, that when the husband vponupon ſuch like occaſions ſhall put away or call off his wife, yet is not …he at her liberty to marry another: but muſt remaine vnmarried and labour to be reconciled. And therfore are thoſe women, which vponupon the hard dealing or troubleſome diſpoſitions of their husbands, do forſake them, greatly to be reproued as thereby giuing occaſion of great miſchiefe and trouble: As … are thoſe husbands, who vpō like occaſions, do forſake their wiues. For ſith nothing may make diuorce, but adulterie, eueryevery purpoſe and determination to part vponupon any other occaſion or reaſon, reſtrained by Gods ordinance and the law of marriage. And …th it is not lawfull for vsus to continue in ſuch ſeperation the whole courſe of our liues: Neither is it lawfull ſo to abide at all, either ſo much as to enter thereinto. If therfore vponupon ſuch occaſion the husband forſake his wife, or the wife her husbande, rather … to cont… nue the miſchiefe begunne, let them returne together …gaine, and thinke that the ſhorteſt follies doe leaſt hurt.
14 If they aleage their entreatie, in their opinion, intollerable, & their nature ſo contrarie that they cannot liue without ſtrife, and debate: Alſo that being a ſunder & quiet in conſcience, free from trouble, they may the better apply themſelues and employ their time in Praier: the anſwere is, that ſuch infirmities muſt not diſſolue the bonds of marriage, and their duties to liue together: But let them thinke that God hath called them to the exerciſe of patience, which vponupon hartie Praier ſhall be granted them: Let them labour each to beare with the other, that they may liue in peace, and continually pray to God to giuegive them grace ſo to doe. Let them remember that the Deuill transformeth himſelfe into an Angell of light, when by propounding a dutie to liue in quiet, and conſequently a meane to pray vntounto God, for the compaſsing therof he induceth them to gaine ſay Gods prohibition, and to ſeperate that which God hath ioyned together. To conclude, let them thinke well vponupon this ſaying of Saint Auguſtine. As the coniunction commeth of God,Augu. vponupon Iohn Trac. 9. ſo the ſeperation & diuorce proceedeth from the Deuill. If they reply that by liuing a ſunder, ſo that they marrie not againe, they breake not the bond of marriage, let them remember that marriage being inſtituted for a remedie againſt fornication,Iuſtinians Inſtit, lib. 1. Tit. de Nuptiis Auguſt. of the fruite of marriage. c. 3. for the generation and bringing vp of children, and for a helpe each to other in mutuall ſocietie and inſeparable conuerſation of life (after the Lawiers phraſe) yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage in thoſe that liue a ſunder, albeit they marrie not againe. Saint Auguſtine ſaith, that the benefite of marriage conſiſteth not onelyonly in the procreation of children, but alſo in the naturall ſocietie of the two diuers ſexes. Otherwiſe it could not be ſaid that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes.
Plato of the precepts of mariage.15 The vnion of marriage yet teacheth vsus another dutie common both to the man and to the wife. Which is; that their goods be common between them. Happie, ſaith Plato, is that cōmon welth wher they hauehave no vſe of theſe words, Mine and Thine: But in marriage eſpecially they ought not to be heard. If ye wife hauehave brought moſt goods in marriage, the marriage once conſumate, her part is gone,Aug. to Edic. Epiſt. 199. and they are made common: as alſo are the debts, whether hers or her husbands. And therefore can neither of them ſay: This is mine, but this is ours. When a woman hath brought great goods, yet may ſhe not ſay, I will doe with mine owne what I liſt: For as Saint Auguſtine ſaith, her ſelfe is not her owne, but her husbands. The husband as the head & chiefe guide of the familie muſt hauehave the cuſtodie and chiefe gouernment of the goods in the houſe: yet may he diſcharge himſelfe of the whole or of part, as him ſelfe ſhal thinke meete and conuenient. Yet let him remember that he entreate her, not as a ſeruant, by giuing her money as it were in miſtruſt, or with condition to returne him a perticular accompt. For the husbands miſtruſt doth many times prouoke the woman: and the wiues vaine expence breedeth miſtruſt in the husband: But the faithfull and diſcreete employment of the wife, and her husbands confidence in her, will procure that as the goods bee common to both, ſo each alike ſhall vndertake the cuſtodie and employment of the ſame.
16 Hereto for a concluſion wil we yet adde two duties common both to the husband and the wife: The firſt, that they dayly pray to God to giuegive them grace to liue together in peace and louelove, and that each may be a helpe to others ſaluation. Let all ſuch as deſire to enioy ſuch a felicitie, vnderſtand that they muſt dayly pray to God for the obtaining therof: And let thoſe that liue in ſtrife and debate, examine themſelues whether they hauehave no cauſe to impute their miſerable eſtate to their neglect of this dutie. The ſecond conſiſteth in the practiſe of the ſame which Saint Paule teacheth, ſaying:1. Cor. 7.29. Let thoſe that be married be as if they were not married. But how? By ſo enioying the commoditie and contentation of marriage, that the benefite of their coniunction breed no diuorce betweene God and them: Likewiſe that thereby they be not hindred or made ſlacke in any duty toward God and their neighbors: as alſo that no affliction depending or proceding of mariage withdraw them, or force them to reſolue of any thing contrarie to the vnion of marriage, and their profeſsion that they bee the children of God.