The Theater of the Popes Monarchy, Part 11 – Part 12
Of Monkes, their order, hipocrisie, blasphemy, superstition, & abuses.
Stuperius.
THey are such as forsake the world vtterly, and betake them selues to a certaine kind of strait,The order & life of Monkes described. and a…stere life, lyuing eyther in the wildernes or desard, or els in monasteries, and other relygious houses, situate farre from hyghe wayes, and deu…yde of company. Theyr apparrell and habite as it is strange, and monstrous, nay apish and foolishe in fashion,Apyshe attyre of monks. so is it of diuerse and sundrye colours. They prescribe to themselues certaine very strict rules, and orders to liue by, through the obseruation wherof, together with these works of merite, and desert,Merites and desert. they trust to inherit the kingdom of heauen. Which place if merits might purchase (as they cannot) why shuld not they hauehave it? for they hauehave suche store of them, that for money they wil sel you as manye as you list. And sometimes for these their works of merite (or as they please to cal them,Selling of merits. works of supererogation) they hauehave benefices, farmes, granges, castles, & towers, yea whole towns, coūtries, & dukedomes giuen them, as ye sundry donatiōs of diuers kings,Gifts for workes of supersti… dukes, & others in old time can testifie. And no maruel, their holines is very greate, for doe they not chaunt vp Psalmes in the quier like hogs in ye stal… do they not rore in the church like the fat …uls of Basan? do they not fast & pray, & do many good works? And yet for all that, are they not worth a straw. For notwithstāding their fast and abstinence from certaine meats, they wil be sure to eat twise at the least,Fast of papists how strict it is, good Lord. the shortest winters day that is. When at dinner they giu… vppe their paunches withall kind of dainties, so as their bellies swelling like ticks or horseliches,Fasting in gluttony. their girdles are fain to bee loosed, that their guttes maye hauehave more scope: at these fastinge meales they will bee sure too hauehave all kynde of fishe, all kinde of spices, & al maner of wines of the best, & yet notwithstāding these felows fast to, yea & merit greatly therby▪ but whether this be a true fasting, or not, both Bacchus, Milo, & Apitius themselues princes of drunkennesse, and gluttonye. I thinke, will deny. Thus through theyr hypocrisy and counter feit holinesse, they hauehave a longe time so bewitched the world, ye euen kings themselues, dukes, Lordes, and others all in generall, hauehave not onelyonly thought them wondrous holy menne, but also, hauehave bought good workes.Good works, and Heauen bought for money. and heauen it selfe of them for money.
Phile.
Why doe they separate thē selues from other men in that sorte, liuing in the wildernes and desart?
Stupe.
They say, they do it, because the world being corrupt, they would not be corrupe with the same:VVhy monkes liue in the wildernesse. and because it liueth in darknesse, and they in the light. Because they are holye, and the worlde wycked, they good, and the worlde naught, and therefore doe they flye from it.
Phile.
These are vain allegations, & friuolous reasons: for if the world bee corrupt, (as it is) and sicke, nay dead in sinne, than hath it more need of the phisition to heale the same, Yea but Syr, they may doe what they list.& not to flie away: And if the world be in darknesse, then hath it more need of the light to shine amongst them. And albeit that the worlde bee wicked, may not they lyue godly in the same notwithstanding? Did not Daniel, & many other Iewes in Babilon liue very godly, The godlye may liue godly amongst the wicked.amongst the wicked? Did not Lot liue godly amongst the Sodomites? Did not Ioseph liue godly in Egypte, and many others? And therfore their separating of thēselues from the worlde for these causes, is most superstitious, vayne, and ridiculous.
Stu.
You say very well. For although they p…ēd, that they forsake the world, yet is it but metre hipocrisie,The deepe hypocrisie of Monkes. and deceit: for there are no men, that liue more in the worlde, nor of the worlde, then they. In so muche that there is no greate thinge anye where done, or attempted, but these Monkes bee at the one end of it. In assemblyes for matters of pollicy, …oncerning the common wealth, they are not only there▪ but also publish, and set foorth lawes, statutes, and decrees of theyr owne authority.Monkes hauehave an oar in eueryevery boate, and burn their lyps in eueryevery mans pottage. If any warres he toward, their councel and aduise is required, if any wedding or solēn feast he any where solemnised, they are there. If any church he dedicate, they are at hand, or els the Comedy hath not all his partes. So that albeeyt that they pretend to lead spirituall liues, yet maist thou find a worldly life in them, if al others had loss it. To what ende therfore serueth their riote, theyr pompe, theyr proude aray, their shauen crowns shorne downe to the hard eares, or their houses out of high wayes, and the like? Are they any thing els, then counterfei… shadowes, and pretensed shewes of sanctity,Practises too wyn worldlye credyt and to lose heauen. and holines, to winne them credit withall, and too get them estimation in the world?
Phil.
What kynde of vowes doe they make, when they are made Monkes?
Stup.
They vow first of al to obey ye abbot or prio…,Vowes which monks make. the superintendent, or regēt of their house. Secondly they swear & vow single life. Thirdly they vow to liue in pouerty al the daies of their life, and vtterly to forsake the worlde, then which they doe nothing lesse. Now how wel they keepe, & performe their vowes all the worlde seeth. Thus they … the worlde with theyr hypo…sie,Monkes theyr religion wherin it cōsisteth. and fayned Relygion consistyng, in synging, in rules of lyfe, and sundrye other lawes, and gestures, quoyned in the crooked forge of their owne deceitfull braynes.
Phile.
How many sorts of monkes are there, any moe then one?
Stup.
There are of diuers sorts, but bicause I may be short,Two sortes of Monks. I wil deuide thē into a sorts, into rich monks, and poore beggers, euen such as get their lyuings wt playne begging. The welthyer sorte are such, as hauehave beene inriched by emperor…, kings, dukes, & noble mē: who willingly hauehave bestowed vponupon them greate possesiōs,How Monkes hauehave been enriched in olde time. & reuenewes, yea whole coū tries, together wt pastures, medows, cities, towns, parks, pur…nes castles tower…, vine yards, orchards, & sōtime whole dukedomes, & earledoms, to this end, & purpose, yt by their praiers, merits, alms deeds & good works, their soules might escape ye broyling fire of purgatory, and come to rest: which things thei promised them without all doubt to performe.
Phi.
Seing thei hauehave vowed to forsake the world, to fast and pray, & to mortifie their liues, what should they doe wyth these great possessions & glory of the world? me thinke this is contrary to their profession, and maner of liuing.
Stupe.
You say true, but what then? No man may say, Domine cur ita facie, Sir you do amisse, but al is well yt they do, and al truth that they speake, though it be starke false. Indeede they fas… (I cannot deuy) but how? til they be as lean as a brawn,Popish fastings. they pray till they be … fast on sleepe as a Dormoufe, and they imbrace pouertie, till they be as rich, as any Emperour, king, or prince vppon the earth. These are they that hauehave forsaken the world, and yet no men more worldly then they. For marke where any fine valleyes were,Monkes planted themselues euer in the best places of the land. where any pleasant meddowes, or pastures …ay compassed about with plenty of woods, & waters, wherin they might keepe plenty of fishe against fasting dayes came vppon them: there commonly they plāted themselues, these were the solitarye places, where thys Porket fathers punished their stately poore bodies,Porket fathers. as you hauehave hearde before. And as for the statelines of their houses they might compare with any Kyng Prince, or Emperour whatsoeuer. For commōly they were built either of stone or bri…k,The statelines of monks houses. or both, moted about, & hauing drawe bridges too drawe vp when they woulde wyth parkes, forests, and chases adioyning, impaled, and trenched round about, and well stored with all kinde of game. In the midst of their houses, cō mōly they had stately towres▪ furnished with all kinde of munition, and bedeckt with curious furniture, and riche ornaments and hangings to banquet & feast in. Theyr c…ndu…ts runne moste pleasantly in eueryevery place,The wildernes wherein mōks do liue. their gardens, and orchardes lie most pleasantly on euerye …or, with fiue hearbes, …urious knottes, and cloysters made quadrant wyse. So that it seemeth rather a pleasant▪ Paradi…e of delightes, than a wildernesse, or de…are to punish or afflic…nes body in. The other sort of monkes be they that liue (as I tolde you) of begging▪ of poling,Monkes liuing on beggyng, poling & pillyng. and pilling most miserably. But of monkes their h…pocrisie, couetuousnesse, and seuerall abuses h…therto.
Phile.
Is there not a certaine other sect in the popes church, which they cal Abbots? If there be, I would faine heare somewhat of them, for I thinke they be all whelps of one litter, all pigges of one sow, and al feathers of one nest?
Of Abbots, their office, sodomitrie, superstition, and horrible abuses:
Stuperius.
THere are Abbots enough, and moe than a good many. Their propertie is this.The propertie of Abbots. They contemne, and vtterly despise both the Monkes thēselues, their orders, rules, tytles, lyues, and names, contending with tooth & nayle (as they say) to bee head ouer them. And as for theyr conuersation, they are so well giuē and vertuously enclined; that neither mayde,The chastitie of Abbots. gyrle, nor wife (almost) can scape their handes without defiling. Their time (for the most part) as wel the daye as the night, they spend in wanton lewd daunces, filthie talke, in plaies, Enterludes, & the like lasciuious sportes tending vntounto vice. Their crownes they vse too hauehave shauen▪ as the Monkes hauehave, their beards cut very ill fauouredly,Abbots coules like draf sacke and their coules hanging down to the middest of their backes, like a bag or Sack to put draffe in. Their superstition, blasphemie, and hypocrisie, is nothing inferiour to the others: and for their moste detestable and horrible vices of Sodomitrie and Buggery, they far excell the …est. Thus much briefly of Abbots, and theyr ab…ses.
Phile.
What say you of begging Friers; bee there any of them?