The Anatomy of Abuses, Part 11 – Part 12
The Manner of Church-ales in Ailgna.
Philoponus.
THE manner of them is thus,The manner of Church-…les in Ailg. In certaine Townes where drunken Bachus beares all the sway, against a Christmas, an Easter, Whitsonday, or some other time, the Church-wardens (for so they call them) of eueryevery parish, with the consent of the whole Parish, prouide half a score or twenty quarters of mault, wherof some they buy of the Church-stock, and some is giuen them of the Parishioners them selues, eueryevery one conferring somewhat, according to his abilitie, which mault béeing made into very strongale or béere, it is set to sale, either in the Church or some other place assigned to that purpose.
Then when the Nippitatum, this Huf-cap (as they call it) and this Nectar of lyfe, is set abroche, wel is he that can get the soonest to it, and spend the most at it, for he that sitteth the closest to it, and spends the moste at it, he is coun…ed the godliest man of all the rest,The filthiest beast, the godlyest man. but who, either cannot for pinching pouertie, or otherwise wil not stick to it, he is coūted one destitute bothe of vertue and godlynes. In so much, as you shall hauehave many poormen make hard shift for money to spend therat, for it, béeing put into this Corban, they are perswaded it is meritorious & a good seruice to God. In this kinde of practise, they cōtinue six wéeks, a quarter of a yéer, yea half a yéer togither, swilling and gulling, night and day, till they be as drunke as Apes, and as blockish as beasts.
Spud.
Séeing they hauehave so good vtterance, it should seeme they hauehave good gaines. But I pray you how doe they bestowe that money, which is got therby?
Philo.
Oh, well I warent you, if all be true which they say: For they repaire their Churches and Chappels with it,How the mony is spent which is got by Churchales. they buy bookes for seruice, cuppes for the celebration of the Sacrament, surplesses for Sir Ihon, and such other necessaries: And they maintaine other extraordinarie charges in the parishes besydes. These be their exceptions, these be their excuses, and these be their pretensed allegations, wherby they blind the world, and conueigh themselues away inuisibly in a clowd. But if they daunce thus in a net, no doubt they will be espied.
For if it wer so, y• they bestowed it as they say,Wil the Lord hauehave his house build with maintenance of euill. do they think that the Lord will hauehave his howse build with drunkennesse, gluttony and such like abhominatiō? Must we do euill, that good may come of it? must we build this house of lyme and stone, with the desolation, and vtter ouerthrow of his spirituall howse, clensed and washed in the preciouse blood of our Sauiour Iesus Christ? But, who séeth not that they bestow this money vponupon nothing lesse, than▪ in building and repayring of Churches and Oratories? For, in most places, lye they not like swyn coates? their windowes rent, their dores broken,The decay of Churches, which are lacerat, rent and torn. their walles fall downe, the roofe all bare, and what not, out of order? Who séeth not the booke of GOD, rent ragged and all betorn, couered in dust, so as this Epitaphe may be writ with ones finger vppon it, ecce nunc in puluere dormio: (Alas) behold I sleep in dust, and oblyuion, not once scarse looked vppon, which lesse red vponupon, and the least of all preached vppon. And on the other side, who séeth not, (for this I speak but in way of parenthesis) in ye meane tyme, their owne howses and mansion places,Sūpteousnes of their owne mansions. are curiously build, and sumpteously adorned: which plainly argueth, that they rather bestow this drunken got-money, vppon prophane vses and their own priuat affaires, than vponupon the howse of prayer, or the temple of God: And yet this their doing is wel liked of, and no mā may say, black is their eye. For why? Thei do all things well, and according to good order, as the say. And when time commeth, like good accoumptantes they make ther accoumptes, as please themselues.
Sp.
Were it not better, & more consonant to y• truth, that eueryevery one contributed somewhat according to his abilitie to y• maintenance of templaries & oratories, thā thus to maintaine thē, by drunkē churchales? as you say, thei do?
Philo.
It weare muche better: And so we read, the Fathers of the old Testament,Churges are to be maintained by mutuall contribution of eueryevery one after his power. eueryevery one after his abilitie did impart some what, to the building and restauration of the Tabernacle, which Moyses erected to the Lord. So, as in the end, there was such aboundance of all things, as y• Artificers, consulting with Moyses were glad to request the People, to stay their liberalitie, for they had more, than they knew what to do withall. These People made no drunken Church-ales to build their edefice withal: notwithstanding, their importable charges and intollerable costes. But as their zeel was feruēt, and very commendable in bringing to the Church, so our zeal is more than frosen & blame worthie in detracting frō the Church: and bestowing it vponupon whordom drunkennesse,Our zeal waxen cold and frosen, in respect of the zeal of the former world gluttony, pride, and such like abhominations: God amend it▪
Spud.
How do they solemnise their feastes and wakesses there, and what order do they obserue in them?
The maner of keeping of Wakesses, and feasts in Ailgna.
Philoponus.
THis is their order therein: eueryevery towne, parishe and Uillage, some at one tyme of the Yéere, some at another (but so that eueryevery towne, parish & village kéep his proper day assigned and appropriat to it self, (which they call their Wak day) vse to make great preparation, and ordenaunce for good chéer. To the which all their Fréends and kyns-folks farre and néer are inuited, wher is such gluttony: such drunkennesse: such saturitie and impletion vsed, as the like was neuer séen. In so muche, as the poore men that beare y• charges of these feasts and wakesses,Saturitie in feasts and wakesses. are the poorer, and kéep the Worser howses a long tyme after. And no marueil, for manie spend more at one of these wakesses, than in all the whole yéer besides.The great charges of Wakesses. This makes many a one to thripple & pinch, to runne into debte and daunger, and finallie, brings many a one to vtter ruine and decay.
Spud.
Wold you not hauehave one fréend to visite another at certen tymes of the yéer?
Philo.
I disalowe it not, but much commēd it. But why at one determinat day, more than at another (except busines vrged it) why should one and ye same day continue for euer,Against wakes & feasts. or be distinct from other dayes, by the name of a wake day? why should there be more excesse of meats and drinks at that day, than at another? why should they abstaine from bodely labor. ij. or thrée dayes after, peraduenture, the whole week, spending it in drunkennesse, whordome, gluttony, and other filthie Sodomiticall exercyses.
Spud.
Séeing you allowe of one Fréend to …isite another, would you not hauehave thē to congratulat their comming with some good chéer?
Philo.
Yes truely, but I allowe not of such excesse of ryot & superfluitie as is there vsed. I thinke, it conuenient for one Fréend to visite another (at sometimes) as oportunitie & occasion shall offer it selfe,Wherto wakesses and feasts do very aptly tend. but wherfore shuld the whole towne, parish, village and cuntrey, kéepe one and the same day, and make such gluttonous feasts as they doo? And therfore, to conclude, they are to no end, except it be to draw a great frequencie of whores, drabbes, theiues and verlets together, to maintai…e whordome, bawdrie, gluttony, drunkennesse, thiefte, murther, swearing and all kind of mischief and abhomination. For, these be the ends wherto these feastes, and wakesses doo tende.
Spud.
From whence sprang these feasts and wakesses first of all, can you tell?
Philo.
I cannot tell,From whence these annuall feasts and stacionarie wakesses had their beginning. except from the Paganes and heathen People, who whan they were assembled together, and had offred Sacrifices to their wodden Goddes and blokish ydols, made feasts and banquets together before them, in honour and reuerence of them, so appointed the same yéerly to be obscrued in memoriall of the same, for euer: But whence soeuer they had their exordium, certē it is, the deuill was ye Father of them, of drown vsus in perdition and destruction of body and soule: which GOD forefend.
Sp.
As I remember, you spoke of dauncing before, inferring y• the …abaoth is greatly prophaned therby: whereof I pray you shew mée your iudgement.