The Anatomy of Abuses, Part 10
Lords of Mis-rule in Ailgna.
Philo.
THE name indéed is odious both to God and good men,Lords of Mis-rule in Ailgna. & such as the very heathen people would hauehave blushed at, once to hauehave named amongst them. And if the name importeth some e…il, then what may ye thing it self be, iudge you. But because you desire to know the manner of them, I wil showe you as I hauehave séen them practised my self. First, all the wilde-heds of the Parish, conuenting togither, chuse them a Graund-Captain (of all mischéefe) whome they innoble with the title of my Lord of Mis-rule,The manner how Lords o… Mis-rule are vsed to be played. and him they crowne with great solemnitie, and adopt for their king. This king anointed, chuseth forth twentie, fortie, thréescore or a hundred lustie Guttes like to him self to waighte vppon his lordly Maiestie, and to guarde his noble person. Then euerie one of these his men, he inuesteth with his liueries, of gréen, yellow or some other light wanton colour. And as though that were not (baudie) gaudie enough I should say, they bedecke them selues with scarfs, ribons & laces hanged all ouer wt golde rings, precious stones & other iewels: this doon,The monsterous attyring of my Lord of Misrules Men. they tye about either leg xx. or xl. bels, with rich handkercheifs in their hands, and sometimes laid a crosse ouer their shoulders & necks, borrowed for the most parte of their pretie Mopsies & loouing Besses, for bussing them in ye dark. Thus all things set in order, then hauehave they their Hobby-horses, dragons & other Antiques,The rablee… … deuils guard… togither with their baudie Pipers and thundering Drummers to strike vp the deuils daunce withall, then marche these heathen company towards the Church and Church-yard, their pipers pipeing, their drummers thundring, their stumps daūcing, their bels iyngling,The beha…iour of the Deuills band in the temple of God. their handkerche…s swinging about their heds like madmen, their hobbie horses and other monsters skirmishing amongst the route: & in this sorte they go to the Church (I say) & into the Church (though the Minister be at praier or preaching) dancing & swinging heir hādkercheifs ouer their heds, in the Church, like deuils incarnate wt such a cōfuse noise, y• no man can hear his own voice. Then the foolish people, they looke, they stare, they laugh, they fleer, & mount vponupon …ourmes and pewes to sée these goodly pageants solemzed in this sort.Receptacles. in the Cemiteries or church yards for the deuils agents Then after this, about the Church they goe againe and again, & so foorth into ye church-yard, where they hauehave cōmonly their Sōmer-haules, their bowers, arbors, & banqueting houses set vp, wherin they feast, bāquet & daunce al that day, & (peraduenture) all the night too. And thus these terrestriall furies spend the Sabaoth day.
They hauehave also certain papers, wherin is painted some babblerie or other, of Imagery woork, & these they call my Lord of mis…rules badges,My Lord of mis-rules cognizances. these they giuegive to eueryevery one, that wil giuegive money for them, to maintaine them in their hethenrie, diuelrie, whordome, drunkennes, pride, and what not. And who will not be buxo… to them, and giuegive them money for these their deuilsh cognizances, they are mocked, & flouted at,Wearing m… Lord of mis-rules badges not a little. And so assoted are some, that they not only giuegive them monie, to maintain their abhomination withall, but also weare their badges & cognizances in their hats or caps openly. But let them take héede, for these are badges, seales, brands & cognizances of the deuil, whereby he knoweth his Seruants and Clyents, from the Children of God. And so long as they weare them:
Sub vexillo diaboli militant contra Dominum et legem suam. They fight vnderunder ye bāner and standerd of ye deuil against Christ Iesus, and all his lawes, Another sorte of fantasticall fooles bring to these hel-hounds (the Lord of mis-rule and his complices) some bread, some good-ale, some new-chéese, some olde, some custards & fine cakes, some one thing, some another:Sacrifice brought to this filthie Ydol, my L. of mis-rule. but if they knew that as often as they bring any thing to the maintenance of these execrable pastimes, they offer sacrifice to the deuil and sathanas, they would repent and withdraw their hands, which God graunt they may.
Spud.
This is a horrible prophanation of the sabaoth (the Lord knoweth) & more pestilent then pestilence it self, but what? be there any abuses in their May-gāes like vntounto these.
Philo.
As many as in the other. The order of them is thus, Against May, Whitsonday or other time, all the yung men and maides, olde men and wiues run godding ouer night to the woods▪ The order of their May-games.groues▪ hils & mountains, where they spend all the night in plesant pastimes, & in the morning they return bringing wt them birch & branches of trées, to deck their assemblies withall, and no meruaile, for there is a great Lord present amongst them, as superintendent and Lord ouer their pastimes and sportes, namely, Sathan prince of hel: But the cheifest iewel they bring from thence is their May-pole,A great Lord presēt in May games, as superintendent therof. which they bring home with great veneration, as thus. They hauehave twentie or fortie yoke of Oxen, eueryevery Oxe hauing a swéet nose-gay of floures placed on the tip of his hornes, and these Oxen drawe home this May-pole (this stinking Ydol rather) which is couered all ouer with floures, and hearbs bound round about with strings from the top to the bottome, and sometime painted with variable colours, with two or thrée hū dred men,The manner of bringing home their May-poles. women and children following it with great deuotion. And thus béeing rea…ed vp, with handkerchéefs and flags houering on the top, they straw the ground rounde about, binde green boughes about it, set vp sommer haules, bowers and arbors hard by it. And then fall they to …aunce▪ about it like as the heathen people did at the dedication of the Idols, wherof this is a perfect pattern, or rather the thing it self.May-poles a pattern of the hethen▪ Ydols I hauehave heard it credibly reported (and that, viua voce) by men of great grauitie and reputation, that of fortie, thréescore, or a hundred maides going to the wood ouer night, there hauehave scaresly the third part of them returned home againe vndefiled
These be the frutes which these cursed pastimes bring foorth.The frute of May-games. Neither the Iewes, the Turcks, Sarasins, nor Pagans, nor any other natiōs how wicked, orbarbarous soeuer, hauehave euer vsed such deuilish exercises as these, nay they would hauehave béen ashamed once to hauehave named them, much lesse, hauehave vsed them. Yet wée that would… Christians, think them not amisse. The Lord forgiue vsus, and remooue them from vsus.
Spud,
What is the manner of their church ales, which you say they vse, for they séem vncouth and straunge to mine eares?