Lectures Upon Colossians, Lecture 33
THE XXXIII. LECTVRE VPONUPON THE EPISTLE OF PAVL to the Coloſſians.
COLOS. Chap. 3. verſ. 20. 21.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for that is well pleaſing vntounto the Lord.
21 Fathers, prouoke not your children to anger, leaſt they be diſcouraged.
HAuing ended the generall exhortation concerning all eſtates of men indifferently; the laſt day, as the Lord gaue grace, wee entred into the ſpeciall, concerning Three ſtates in a familie.eueryevery eſtate of men. There are three eſtates in a familie. The firſt is the husband and the wife. The ſecond eſtate is the parents and the children. The third eſtate is the maſter and the ſeruants. The laſt day we ſpake of the firſt eſtate concerning husbands and wiues; now this day we hauehave to ſpeake of the ſecond eſtate, to wit, of parents and children. The words are few, yet as the Lord giues grace we ſhall weigh eueryevery one, and only ſhall ſet downe the doctrine properly, as the words ſhall affoord.
The exhortation begins at the children the inferiour ranke, as before it began at the wife. I ſhewed you the laſt day the cauſe: The eſtate of the inferiour is moſt hard to be borne withall: therefore firſt hee directs his ſpeech to the inferiour eſtate, to inſtruct them that willingly they take vponupon them that burthen, which otherwiſe they muſt beare, or els diſpleaſe God. To come to the words. Children obey your parents. The word childe, in it owne language is common both to the manchild, and to the womanchilde; both are comprehended indifferently vnderunder the name of children; and therefore this precept is directed indifferently to both. The word, if ye would marke the meaning of it, ſignifieth him or her, who are begotten What the word children meaneth.and borne of thoſe which are called parents: yet in the ſecond place it is directed to eueryevery one which beares the name of ſonnes and daughters, whether they be daughters in law, or ſonnes in law. Ruth as ye reade, daughter in law to Naomi, ſhe tooke this precept to her: ſhe would not depart from her good mother; and as you reade, ſhe promiſed obedience to her in all things. Experience teacheth vsus this day, that there bee few like theſe two. Then briefly this much for them, to whom this precept is directed. The next thing to be marked in the words, is the dutie commaunded, which is this.
Children obey: this is the duty. This duty of obediēce, is a dutie yt pertaines to the whole man both ſoule and bodie; it muſt come inwardly frō the hart, and outwardly from the hand. To let you ſee it better, in the ſoule it is reuerence, becauſe thy parents be thy ſuperiours; they be not thine equals; and therfore Obedience to parents.thou art bound to reuerence thy parents, as thy ſuperiours: for reuerence is nothing els, but an acknowledging of thy ſuperiours. Next in the hart & ſoule it is louelove, becauſe thou art boūd to thy parents by nature, and the band wherewith God hath bound thee to thy parents, is louelove. Thou takeſt ſubſtance and being of thy parents, al that thou haſt in this world vnderunder God thou haſt it of thy parents: therefore the bond of nature binds thee to thy parents, to louelove them. Thirdly, this obedience in the ſoule and heart, is thankfulnes for the manifold benefits receiued, firſt by thy parents: thou art not the beginner of liberalitie, but thy parents they begin to be beneficiall to thee, and therefore thou art bound to be thankfull vntounto them. And this much for the duties in the ſoule.
To come to the obedience in the bodie, which is nothing els, but an outward teſtification of all thoſe things that are in Externall obedience to parents.thy ſoule, it ſtands firſt in a reuerent ſpeech. Secondly, in obeying the commaund of thy parents. And thirdly, in compenſation of the benefits receiued of thy parents. I reade in the firſt Epiſtle to Timothie chap. 5. verſ. 4. he makes mention eſpecially of the laſt, Let children (ſaith he) learne to ſhew godlineſſe firſt toward their owne familie, beginning at their father & their mother. If thou be not godly to them, thou canſt not be godly to another. And againe, verſ. 3. Thou that wilt not prouide for thy familie, art worſe then an Infidell. Thou that wilt not prouide for thy father and mother, thou haſt no faith. Well, ye who are children, learne of Ioſeph, what hee did to his father and brethren. It is ſaid he fed them, he fed his old father, and put meate in his mouth: but thou wilt wring it out of their mouth, if they hauehave but one mouthfull. Yea if thou hauehave wealth and they be in pouertie, thou wilt not know them, nor help them, but wilt begin to be aſhamed af them. Thou wilt not let them come within thy doores, and if they come at any time to thine houſe to be eaſed, thou accounts ſo lightly of them that thou canſt not abide their preſence at thy boord, or in thy hall, but away with them to the chimney corner. O villaine! thou art vnworthie to be called a ſonne, and as an vnthankfull bodie thou ſhalt finde thy reward to be worſe then the reward of the worſt Infidell in the world. Know ye not this to be true? yea ſome children when they come to yeares, will wring all from their parents, and ſend them to beg their meate. O Scotland, thou haſt many ſuch children within thee! but woe, yea double and treble woe be vponupon them for euer! Then the dutie commaunded, is obedience, and this commaundement lets vsus ſee how naturally children are inclined to diſobedience. God Children naturally inclined to diſobediēcebound thee in the creation to obedience, and now the world is ſo degenerate, that there is nothing to be found in children for the moſt part but contempt, and diſobedience eueryevery way. O the malicious lowne will not be ſo deſpitefull to any, as to his parents! So this commaundement lets thee ſee the ſtubborne nature of children againſt their parents. O but if this commandement enforce thee not to doe thy dutie to thy parents, thou ſhalt be reſerued in bonds to thine eternall damnation.
But to goe forward, to whom ſhould this obedience bee ſhewed? Obey (ſaith he) Whom? not eueryevery one, but thy parents, him and her that hauehave begotten thee and borne thee, of whom thou haſt thy being, and all that thou haſt vnderunder God: that is the force of the word. So in the word there lurkes a forcible argument from nature. Vnnaturall bodie, will not nature moue thee? art thou vnnaturall? thou art vngodly to God. For thou who breakeſt the bond of nature, thou breakeſt the bond of pietie. So the argument is from nature. It is wonderfull to ſee how Ethnicks children moued by the light of nature, hauehave obeyed their parents. There was a law made among the Athenians, that the child ſhould feede the old parent, or els be bound in fetters ſo long as hee liued. If this law were in Scotland, I thinke there ſhould bee many children bound in fetters; yea ſo many as there could be fetters made for them. Well, wilt thou goe to the beaſts? they may ſhame thee: thou maiſt reade of their gratitude to their parents, as for thee they may cal thee very wel mother-curſe and maliſon. If nature hath been ſo forcible in Ethnicks, Pagans, and brute beaſts; ſhall grace doe nothing in thee? Wilt thou ſay thou ſtandeſt in grace, and then wilt not doe the thing that nature requires of thee? It is ſhame to thee to ſtand vp and ſay with a braſen brow, that thou ſtands in grace, when nature hath no force in thee? Thou lieſt, thou haſt nothing to doe with grace, for that thou haſt loſt euen thy naturall affection.
The next thing lets children ſ… in what thing they ſhould be obedient: apparantly the word hath no exception: Obey (ſaith he) in all things. The word is either of one action, and in it is required a perfect and whole obediēce. (If thou wilt obey, if it were but in action, giuegive him whole obedience in doing of the ſame. Some will goe to worke with grudging and glonſhing: the lowne will goe with a backward looke, murmuring, and whiſpering, with a diuels pater noſter. This is but halfe obedience, and thou ſhalt get no thankes for it: therefore as thou wouldeſt hauehave thankes of God, let thy obedience be voluntarie and cheerefull, or els the Lord loues thee not.) Or this may be vnderſtood of ſundrie actions, Obey in all things whatſoeuer. You will aske; Are the children bound in eueryevery thing to obey? Apparantly the Apoſtle meanes ſo. Brethren, there are three ſorts of actions, or things in the world: the firſt that is Three ſorts of actions.plaine euill forbidden by God: when it comes to that action obey him not: when the father of heauen countermaunds, obey not thine earthly father. There is another ſort that is good, commaunded of God: when thy father commands that, thou art bound to doe it; yea when he bids thee not, thou oughteſt to obey, becauſe God hath commaunded thee. And if God and thy father commaund, how dareſt thou diſobey? The third ſort are indifferent actions, that are neither bidden, nor forbidden, but may be done and not done according to circumſtances, which make them good or euill: when thy parents commaunds thee to doe them, thou oughteſt to obey, conſidering the circumſtances; yea thou art bound to obey thy parents euen in things that are grieuous to thee. The Lord hath bound thee ſo ſtreightly to thy parents, that if the Lord countermand not, thou art bound to obey him, I ſay, euen in that that is grieuous vntounto thee. And briefly theſe are the things, in the which obedience is to be done to earthly parents.
Now followes the argument to moue them to this obedience, for (ſaith he) that is well pleaſing to the Lord; he likes well of it: for in obeying them thou pleaſeſt not ſo much them, as the Lord Ieſus who lookes vponupon the inward diſpoſition of the heart. Well are they that can pleaſe the Lord: ſet thy heart to pleaſe him; for there is no ioy, but when the heart thinkes True ioy.that the thing that it doth, pleaſeth God. Wherefore is it pleaſing to him? There is nothing pleaſing to him but that that is iuſt: the iuſt Lord likes nothing but that that is iuſt. Therefore Epheſ. chap. 6. verſ. 1. hee ſaid, Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right, or iust. Wherefore is it iuſt? becauſe hee hath ſaid it is according to a law, and this is the law, Honour thy father and thy mother. But the word hath further. It is well pleaſing, that is, exceeding pleaſing and acceptable in an high degree. The Lord hath declared this, that this obedience to the parents is not only pleaſing, but in a high ſort it likes him wel. Looke in the order of the Commandements, begins he not in the ſecond table at this Commaundement? Honour thy father and mother, to ſerue them, that is the next commaundement of ſeruice he commaunds to be done; after him thou art bounden to thy earthly father; and more he hath declared, that it is pleaſing by that promiſe that is added to that commaundement, That thy daies may be long in the land &c. So this promiſe lets thee ſee that there is not a dutie vnderunder his owne worſhip more acceptable to him, then this dutie to parents is, and if To pleaſe parents is a dutie very acceptable vntounto God.thou omit that dutie and diſhonour thy parents, although thou ſhouldeſt giuegive to others all thy goods, thou ſhalt neuer doe any thing pleaſing vntounto the Lord. Well, you that are diſobedient to parēts, the Lord ſhall lay to your charge the breach of the whole law. This argument hath an higher ground: before it moue children to doe this dutie; firſt of all they muſt know the Lord Ieſus, they muſt ſtudie to pleaſe him; and then knowing him, and ſtudying to pleaſe him, out of queſtion they will be obedient to their parents. Becauſe my heart is ſet to pleaſe the Lord, therefore I will obey my father. And therefore you that are parents, take your leſſon; As you would hauehave your children obey you for the Lords ſake, ſo traine them vp in the Lord. Tell them what the Lord is, and what hee hath done for them, and what they are indebted to the Lord. If you Education.omit this, to inſtruct them, of the iuſt iudgement of God it may come to paſſe, that thine owne childe may be thy greateſt enemie. So woe to thee that wilt not let thy ſonne know the Lord Ieſus. Now you ſee this argument. What if the child obey? he hath here a faire offer, if you obey you doe that is acceptable to God; as by the contrarie, if thou diſobey, thou diſpleaſeſt not ſo much thy earthly father, as thou diſpleaſeſt God. And thinkeſt thou that thou ſhalt doe that vnpuniſhed? Thy earthly parents cannot get an amends of thee, but thou canſt not paſſe away and eſchue Gods iudgements. Reade you not of the puniſhment threatned, Exod. 21? It is commaunded that the diſobedient to parents ſhould bee ſtoned to death. Deut. 27. Among the reſt of the curſes, he that curſeth his parents hath a ſpeciall curſe: and what is this curſe? is this curſe, in hell euerlaſting damnation? Is there no more? Prou. 30. verſ. 17. The eye that mockes the father (as there be many lownes that mocke their father) and deſpiſeth the inſtruction of his mother, let the Rauens of the valley picke it out, and the young Eagles eate it. Would you hauehave an example? Reade of Cham, the Scripture tels you what an eternall curſe he and his poſteritie got. Reade you not of the curſe of Abſolon and of Abimelech, Iudg. 9. he ſlew all the lawfull ſonnes of Gedeon, but the Lord reuenged it. We hauehave no neede to goe to farre examples; ſee we not daily examples of the iudgements of God vponupon diſobedient children to their parents? Thus farre for the dutie of Children.
Now followeth the dutie of the parents. Fathers (ſaith the Apoſtle) prouoke not your children to anger, the reaſon; leaſt they be diſcouraged. This commaundement to parents lets you ſee, euen as the children may faile in doing of their dutie to their Duties of parents to children.parents; ſo parents may faile in their dutie to their children: albeit the failing of the one be not ſo common, as the other: for the louelove of the father is more entire to the child, then is the louelove of the child to the father: and therefore his failing wil not be ſo oft, nor yet ſo great. And the parent that is outragious, he ſheweth himſelfe very vnnaturall: for his louelove ſhould be greater, then the offence of the childe. Yet now adaies many are vnnaturall parents, for nature is greatly broken and almoſt Naturall affection much decayed.taken quite away: and therefore the end of the world is at hand; and I am ſure there is not ſo great hatred among the Ethnicks, as there is among parents and children this day in Scotland.
But to come to the words: he ſpeaks to the fathers eſpecially, and not to the mothers, there is ſome cauſe of this. Fathers (ſaith he) prouoke not &c. This is becauſe this vice of bitternes, and rigorouſnes in dealing with the childe in wrath, is found with the men chiefly; he will handle his childe ſo bitterly, as if he were a dog: as for the mothers they incline to a more intire louelove to their childe; and if they faile, they faile in ouermuch bearing with them. Fathers (ſaith he) prouoke them not to wrath, as if he would ſay, they will be wrath, if you put ouer ſore to them: for why? thou haſt begotten thy childe like to thy ſelfe of a corrupt affection, and therefore blame them not if they be angrie at thee, if thou vrge them ouer much. And it is true, many euill diſpoſed parents will hauehave euill diſpoſed children; the canker that is in the child, is drawne out of thee: and therfore thou ſhouldeſt ſeeke to amend it. There be many waies to prouoke them to wrath: Firſt, when thou commaundeſt Many waies to prouoke children.them to doe that that is vngodly (as there are many that doe thus.) Secondly, when thou art outragious and deſpitefull, and wilt miſcall thy childe. Thirdly, when thou beginneſt to ſtrike without rime or reaſon. Theſe are the three waies wherby chiefly they are prouoked to wrath, as 1. Sam. 20. 30. Saul breakes off with deſpitefull talke to Ionathan, and calles him a harlots ſonne (wilt thou call thy ſonne whores ſonne? then thou haſt a harlot to thy wife) Then he ſaid, goe get me Dauid, for he ſhall ſurely die: he commaunded him to doe a thing vngodly: it greatly grieued him, that he was ſo miſcalled of his father, as alſo that his father commaunded him a thing vnlawfull. Therefore ye who are parents be not like Saul; abuſe not your children as Saul did Ionathan: for no queſtion, this abuſing of Ionathan was one part of his enditement: God will not let it ſlip vnpuniſhed: therefore hauehave thine eye to the Lord, that thou maiſt ſee what is pleaſing and diſpleaſing vntounto him. O it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the Lord! therfore bleſſed art thou that ſtudieſt to pleaſe the Lord, for thou ſhalt raigne with him in glorie. Prouoke not to anger (ſaith he) Whom? who but your owne children, and bowels: thou art very vnnaturall, who wilt rent out thine owne bowels. In this word there lurkes an argument from nature, forcible in the very infidels and beaſts. See you not how beaſts will louelove their owne young and handle them louingly? Well, if nature craueth this that thou ſhouldeſt not anger thine owne child, what craueth grace? Thou doeſt challenge grace, and yet thou vttereſt no ſigne of grace in thee: if there be any in thee, thou ſhouldeſt vtter it towards thine owne. The argument is ſubioyned in the end of the verſe, Prouoke not (ſaith he) your children to anger, leaſt they be diſcouraged. Thou dulleſt them and makeſt them like dogges, by knocking and dinging ſtill on The argument.them. The argument is not taken from any mutuall miurie. I think if the Apoſtle had knowne our countrey, he would hauehave vſed this other argument, leaſt the childe meete thee with a double reuenge, and pluck the bit out of thy cheeke, and thou who art his mother hee ſtrike thee on the face, and ſhut thee out of doores, and cauſe thee begge thy bread, as wee ſee this day ſome doe to their father and mother. But the Apoſtle ſaw not ſuch things in his time; therefore hee takes not his argument from the euill of the ſonne to the father, but from the euil of the father to the childe. This diſcouraging is not ſo much by reaſon of the rigorous dealing, as by reaſon of the perſon that doth it. It is my father who ſhould doe me moſt good, yet it is hee who doth me moſt euill: for this generall is true, the neerer they be ioyned to vsus who doe vsus any wrong, our diſpleaſure is the greater. So this diſcouragement is not ſo much for the euill, as for the perſon that doth it.
To conclude, of all others eſpecially the father by his doing is moſt effectuall either to winne or loſe his childe. There is none will loſe or winne thy child, ſo ſoone as thy ſelfe, and all becauſe of that coniunction that is betwixt thee and thy child. I reade of two waies to loſe thy child; but there is one way only Two waies to loſe a child.to winne him: the firſt way to loſe him is this rigorous and deſpitefull dealing; thou dulleſt him and takes all ſpirit from him. The other way is ouermuch bearing with him, and if thou paſſe meaſure in this, thou ſhalt loſe him alſo; and it is no louelove to the child to doe ſo: for he who ſpareth the rod, hateth the child, Prou. 13. 24. Ely thought he loued his ſonnes when he corrected them not, when they offended: but I ſay to you he hated them, and was the wracke of his children vnderunder God: for the Lord had ſaid they ſhould die, yet hee vſed Elyes indulgencie for that purpoſe. Abſolon was loſt, becauſe hee was ouermuch borne with. As for the thing that will winne them, it is that golden mediocritie; make not Gods of them, nor yet Diuels of them. And would you hauehave a warrant of this? Paul Epheſ. 6. verſ. 4. ſaith, Parents bring them vp: and how? by filling their bellies? No, no: but with instruction; inſtruct them in the true forme of religion, in the rudiments of the knowledge of Ieſus Chriſt, tell them of God from the time they can begin to Catechiſing of children how ſoone.babble. See if you can get the holy ſpirit to poſſeſſe them, that they may feare God. This is that golden mediocritie, and if thou miſſe this way, all other waies ſhall be to loſe thine owne child. Goe get great heritages to him, and if thou bring him not vp to know God, thou doeſt nothing els but heape vp coales of fire to deſtroy him: and as oft as thou art in heaping vp of thy pelfe for him, thou doeſt but endeuour to burie him in deſtruction. The Lord open our eyes that wee may ſee the things that are offered to vsus in Chriſt Ieſus: To whom with the Father and the holy Spirit, be all praiſe now and for euer,
Amen.