Lectures Upon Colossians, Lecture 32
THE XXXII. LECTVRE VPONUPON THE EPISTLE OF PAVL TO THE Coloſſians.
COLOS. Chap. 3. verſ. 18. 19.
18 Wiues, ſubmit your ſelues vntounto your huſbands, as is comely in the Lord.
19 Huſbands, louelove your wiues, and be not bitter vntounto them.
IN the text preceding the exhortation hath been generall, to wit, to mortification, pertaining to eueryevery eſtate in the world. Now in this text he deſcends in particular to certaine ſpeciall eſtates of men and women, directing his exhortation particularly to them, and namely to three eſtates. The firſt is to husbands and wiues. The ſecond, is to parents and children. The third, is to maſters and ſeruants. To come then to the purpoſe. It is to be vnderſtood, that from the beginning of this world there hath euer been theſe three principall eſtates, and ranks of men and women in the world. The firſt is the eſtate of husbands and wiues: for ye know Adam ere euer he had children he had his wife. The next after Inequality in all eſtates.this, was the eſtate of parents and children; and then by proceſſe of time there became ſome maſters, and ſome ſeruants: ſo that this is the laſt in order and time. In theſe three eſtates all be not equall, but there is an inequalitie: ſome are ſuperiours, and ſome are inferiours. The ſuperiours he hath made to be Husbands, Parents, and Maſters: The inferiours he hath made to bee Wiues, Children, and Seruants. For if all were equall, no policie could ſtand, nor order on the earth, but a confuſion. The Lord, who is onelyonly wiſe, knew this, and therefore it pleaſed him to diſpoſe the world after this manner; ſo that a policie might be kept in it. Theſe being the three eſtates, the Scripture hath chiefe reſpect to them, and giues exhortations to theſe three. In all he begins firſt at the inferiours, as in this place he begins at the wiues, and then comes to the huſbands. The cauſe of this is, becauſe the eſtate of the inferiours is hardeſt, and therefore the ſpirit of God firſt informes the inferiours, that they ſhould take that burthen the Lord hath laid on them, and that they ſhould doe that, which they doe, willingly (for I will not giuegive a peny for thy ſeruice and ſubiection if it be compelled) for the ſubiection that is voluntarie is bleſſed, whether it be by wife, child or ſeruant; otherwiſe all is nothing worth; thou haſt loſt thy thankes. But to come to the words.
Firſt he ſaith, Wiues ſubmit your ſelues vntounto your huſbands. Few words, but pithie. Note foure things.In them ye ſhall marke foure things. Firſt, that dutie that is required of maried wiues, the dutie is ſubiection and obedience. The ſecond is, to whom they owe this dutie, not to eueryevery one, but to their owne husbands. The third, is the manner of ſubiection, how it ſhall be done, to wit, in the Lord. The fourth, is the argument to moue them, and it is taken from that, that is comely. The dutie then is ſubiection: let vsus weigh it. The firſt thing in it is obedience in deede and effect. This is the firſt part of ſubiection, as appeares in the firſt Epiſtle of Peter, chap. 3. where the Apoſtle making mention of the ancient women, brings in the example of Sara, and there he defines that ſubiection. Yet there is more in this ſubiection then ſimple obedience. The obedience muſt hauehave ioyned with it honouring of thy husband in word: As thou obeyeſt Subiection of wiues to the huſbands, and what required in ithim indeede and effect; ſo thou muſt honour him in word: therefore in that ſame place it is ſaid, that Sara called her huſband Lord. Yet there is more then all this: there is feare and reuerence in the heart required, that is the ground of all. Paul Epheſ. 5. 33. ſpeakes expreſly of this: Looke that the wife feare and reuerence her husband in heart. So then there is this ſubiection in the whole parts thereof. In deed, it is obedience: in word, it is honouring of him: in heart, it is feare and reuerence. Note.So that wife which will be ſubiect to her husband, muſt keepe theſe three points; or elſe ſhe faileth in ſubiection.
Come to the ſecond: to whom this ſubiection ought to be giuen, not to eueryevery one: To your owne huſbands. This ſubiection is commaunded, not to ſtrange men, but to your owne huſbands. The ſpeciall kind of ſubiection, wherein ſtands the dutie of the wife to the husband, is not to be communicated with any other man. It is true, the male kind hath a preferment aboue the female: it hath honour aboue the other. Looke Paul 1. Tim. 2. 13. 14. where he giues two reaſons of this preferment. The firſt is from the creation, Adam was firſt created, and then Eue. The ſecond is, from the tranſgreſſion, the woman fell firſt; and it is ſure, firſt in ſinne, laſt in honour. Notwithſtanding this, wiues are not commaunded to doe this dutie to eueryevery man, but to their owne husbands. If you will mark the words narrowly, you ſhal perceiue there lurks an argument in them. The argument is taken from their propertie: they are your proper goods; thou haſt nothing ſo proper as thy husband: and therefore ſeeing thy husband is thy proper good, ſhouldeſt thou not doe a dutie to thy husband? But I leaue this, and I come to the manner. The manner of this ſubiection is bounded: In the Lord: the Lord Ieſus muſt be the rule of it. But to conſider the words. Wiues be ſubiect to your huſbands in the Lord, The manner of the ſubiection.in theſe two reſpects. Firſt, when you are ſubiect to your huſbands, be firſt ſubiect to Ieſus Chriſt; obey him, honour him; there is the firſt dutie which is according to the law; diſcharge thy dutie to God firſt, otherwiſe thou art in a backward way. Begin neuer then at a man, though it were at a King, to ſhew and giuegive thy ſubiection; but begin firſt at God, and ſubiect thy ſelfe firſt to him. Secondly, when thou haſt done thy dutie to the Lord Ieſus Chriſt, then for the louelove, and pleaſure and glorie of this Lord, thou ſhouldeſt ſubiect thy ſelfe to thy huſband. I will giuegive thee my counſell, let neuer wife be ſubiect to her husband, but for the cauſe of Chriſt, and not for thy huſbands cauſe. Firſt, if thou doe it ſo for the Lords cauſe, thou ſhalt hauehave great aduantage. The firſt aduantage is, thou ſhalt not obey thy husband, but in things lawfull, honeſt, agreeable to the will of the Lord, though he ſhould commaund thee neuer Note well two aduantages by obeying in the Lord: firſt, they ſhall obey, but in that the Lord commands: ſecondly, the ſeruice Chriſt accepts as done to himſelfe.ſo much. And if thou obey him in things vnlawfull, thou ſhalt deerely buy it. And indeede, a faire aduantage to do nothing but that that is lawfull, honeſt, and agreeable to the Lords will. The ſecond aduantage is, Obeying in the Lord; all the ſeruice thou ſhalt doe to thy husband, thou ſhalt doe it to Ieſus Chriſt, Epheſ. 6. 5. Where there is another doing in the Lord ſet downe, what euer thou ſhalt do, do it in ſinglenes of heart, and not in doublenes. As there be many falſe wiues, who in obeying their husbands, hauehave a double heart, obeying them outwardly, not for any good will or liking they hauehave to them; but for ſome other cauſe and reſpect, while as in the meane time ſhe wil hauehave in her mind one euill or other againſt him. Yea while ſhe is ſhewing her ſelfe obedient to her huſband outwardly, her minde will be occupied on her harlotrie with another: this is no ſingle obedience, and the cauſe is, for as much as thine eye is not vponupon the Lord, and it is impoſsible that thou canſt be ſincere in thy doing, except thine eye be vponupon the Lord. Laſtly, doing all for his ſake, and in ſinceritie: Who ſhall reward thee? what benefit ſhalt thou get? ſhall it be a temporall thing, that he can beſtow vponupon thee? No, no: the Lord Ieſus, whom thou preferreſt in the obeying of thy Great reward for ſeruing Chriſt.husband and ſeruice doing to him, he ſhall meete thee and reward thee with a crown of glorie. Woe were it for me & thee if in his ſeruice done in his name and for his ſake, wee looked for no more but for theſe earthly rewards, though it were to be made a King or a Queene: for wee and they both ſhall vaniſh away; for nothing is permanent here vnderunder the Sunne. Well, doe nothing, but for the Lord Ieſus ſake, and that that is agreeable to his will, & ſay: All that I do to my husband, O Lord, all is for thy ſake: otherwiſe all thy ſeruice ſtinkes, thou ſhalt loſe thy labour; for thou ſhalt receiue no reward of him. This for the manner of ſubiection and obedience vntounto your husbands.
Now followes the fourth thing to be conſidered, the argument to moue them to this dutie: In a word, It is comely: It is reaſonable: it is iuſt. Would you ſee this? It leanes vponupon good grounds (neuer action had better.) Firſt, it is grounded vponupon the ordinance of God; firſt made before the fall, and after the The argument of ſubiection.fall renewed againe. Secondly, it is grounded vponupon the law of nature: the Lord hath written it in thy heart at the firſt creation: Thou ſhalt be ſubiect to thy husband. Beſides this, ye that are wiues, you hauehave this conſcience of your owne infirmitie, you are the weaker veſſels: and therefore ye craue a head: ye craue to be vnderunder a Superiour. Thou who art diſobedient, who is it that thou haſt to doe with? Is it a man? Looke what breach of law is here. Firſt, thou breakeſt Gods law. Secondly, thou breakeſt the law of nature. And thirdly, thou doeſt againſt thy owne conſcience. Doubt yee that all theſe bands lies on you? I tell you Eue fell not ſo ſoone, but all theſe bands were laid on her. In the third chapter of Geneſis, verſe 16. Thy appetite ſhall be toward him, &c. And therefore marke it. This rebellion and wantonneſſe in many wiues, it is not ſo ſmall a ſinne as you thinke. It is a ſinne againſt God and his law. Secondly, it is againſt nature. Thirdly, it is againſt thy conſcience. This is not well knowne by many; therefore learne to know it in time. Ye hauehave now heard the wiues part.
Now I come to the men, Huſbands louelove your wiues; that is the thing he charges them to doe: then he ſaies, Be not bitter vntounto them: that he forbids. The thing then he bids them doe, is LoueLove. So ſubiection in the wife ſhould be met with louelove and care in things ſpirituall and temporall; this is generall, ſubiection in the inferiour ſhould be met with louelove and care of the ſuperiour in things earthly and temporall, and in things ſpirituall. Superiours bound to duties as well as inferiours.For it is not the Lords will that the inferiour ſhould be bound to a dutie, and the ſuperiour ſhould goe free; but he is as faſt faſtened to doe a dutie to his inferiour, and more; the greater preferment the greater burthen: all the honours men get, are the greater burthens to them. VnderUnder the tearme of louelove, is vnderſtood all kind of dutie belonging to the wife; prouiding it begin at the heart, and not at the mouth, nor hand. And therefore the word louelove comprehends the moſt intire affection: wey it well, it is not a ſlender louelove.LoueLove. For firſt it imports a great affection in the heart, and not a ſuperficiall affection. Secondly, it imports ſuch an affection, as onelyonly reſts vponupon the wife, not a wandring luſt, for many eſteeme any woman alike to them in filthy luſt. Thirdly, this word imports an affection of louelove, that is, holy and chaſt, not a harlots louelove. If thou hauehave a harlots heart, thou defileſt thy ſelfe and thy wife both. Theſe are the three properties of this louelove: firſt, it is a deepe louelove in the heart. Secondly, it muſt reſt only on thy wife. And thirdly, it muſt be chaſt. Epheſ. 5. 25. Paul ſaith, Huſbands louelove your wiues. How ſhall ye louelove them? He ſaith, As Christ loued his Church: Albeit he cannot attaine to the greatneſſe and quantitie of this louelove: yet keepe the qualitie of it. How loues Chriſt the Church? Vnſpeakably. O the chaſtnes of the louelove of Chriſt, that he keepes to his Church! He loues his owne Church, and he loues not an harlot Idolater. She is ſet vp before him as a chaſt virgin. Then take thy example of thy ſpouſe Chriſt. Looke how he loues thee, after the ſame manner louelove thou thy wife. Whom ſhould they louelove? Their owne proper wiues, no ſtrange woman; caſt not your fanſie vponupon them. Ye know we are ſet to louelove that, that properly pertaines to vsus; but I ſay to you who are Husbands, ye hauehave not ſuch a property to any thing as to your wiues; yea your heritage, though you had a kingdome, is not ſo properly yours, as they are. And therefore ſeeing it is naturall to eueryevery man to louelove his owne, though it were ſo abiect, why ſhouldeſt thou not louelove that, that is moſt proper to thee? I ſee a kind of meeting here: before he made men proper to their wiues; now he makes the wiues proper to the husbands: ſo that the man may ſay, thou art my proper portion: there is not ſuch a property in ſubſtance and riches, as this. For the riches cannot ſay to the man, thou art my propertie. Indeede there are many niggard Couetouſnes.hearted bodies, and to theſe men their goods may ſay; thou art mine as well as I am thine. O woe is thee, thou forgetteſt thy dutie! For what coniunction can there be betwixt thee and thy goods? There is not a coniunction like this betwixt man and woman; ſo that either is others property: and eueryevery one of them may ſay to others, thou art my propertie. There is no ſuch coniunction except that coniunction which is betwixt the head and the bodie, and that coniunction that is betweene Chriſt and his Church, which is greater then both the other coniunctions. This coniunction betweene Chriſt and his Church, is the greateſt coniunction that is; for all other coniunctions will ſeuer, but this betwixt Chriſt and his Church ſeuers neuer. A man may be ſeparated from his wife by adultery or death, a man may hauehave his head chopt off him, and a man may loſe his goods; but once conioyned with Chriſt, thou ſhalt neuer be ſeuered from him, nor he from thee: What ſhall ſeparate vsus, ſaith Paul, from the louelove of Christ, Rom. 8. 35. The ſecond coniunction is of the head with the body: the third Our coniunction with Chriſt inſeparableconiunction is of the man with the wife: eueryevery one of theſe may claime other, as their proper goods; ſo ſtreight is the knot and bond that bindes them vp together.
Now we hauehave in the end of the verſe the thing forbidden, and it is that that is contrarie to louelove, to wit, bitternes. LoueLove and ſweetnes is commended: bitternes, rigorouſnes and crueltie is forbidden. There are many husbands, who are tyrants ouer their wiues; that ſhould not be: they ought not to vſe tyrannie though it were ouer a dog or cat. Brethren, we know all this, that there is nothing more naturall to man, then the deſire and ſeeking of preferment: and the pooreſt body would be a King. And yet notwithſtanding this ſinfull body cannot beare it, it cannot vſe it: the ſinfull man cannot beare preferment though it were but ouer his owne wife; the father ouer the child; the maſter ouer the ſeruant: if ye ſet him ouer beaſts, dogs and ſheepe, make him a ſheepe keeper, he ſhall vtter the bitternes of his heart, for giuegive him ouer to his owne nature, he ſhall degenerate into tyrannie. This is the tyrannie of man. Note well.What is the cauſe of all this? The higher he be lifted vp aboue others, the higher is his foule affection lifted vp aboue himſelfe: ſo the honour of this world doth no good to men, except the wicked affection be ſanctified by the ſpirit of Chriſt. Woe be to thee that art a King, if thy affection be not ſanctified! Wo be to thee that art a husband, if thy affection be not ſanctified in thy preferment! And therfore the ſpirit of God inioynes that they ſeeke not preferment, who hauehave not gotten their affection ſanctified. Thou that haſt not gotten a ſanctified affection, ſeeke not to be a King, ſeeke not to be a husband, ſeeke not to be a Parent, ſeeke not to raigne ouer a country, to be a Peere in a Land, a Magiſtrate; for thou ſhalt abuſe it to thy damnation. Why ſhould men, whom the Lord hath caſt downe, be raiſed vp and put in preferment? ſhame ſhall betide them, who ſeeke to ſet them vp againe, if they repent not. Wilt thou ſet vp a man with a heart like a Viper? O ſie on thee, thou ſhalt feele the dint of this iniquitie. Yet to come againe to the word, Bitternes: looke that your louelove turne not into gall. Bitternes.There be many, who hauehave bin louing in the beginning, but incontinent they hauehave turned their louelove to gall. This bitternes muſt either be in the hart, or els in the behauiour: if it be in the hart, then fare ye well, he becomes a monſter to his wife. Is it lawful for a man to ſtrike his own fleſh? wil not eueryevery one that The huſband not to ſmite his own wife.heares or ſees that, ſay; the man is mad, and worſe then a brute beaſt? For this doing comes of the bitternes of the heart againſt the wife, and thou ſheweſt that thy heart is alienated from her, when that thou ſets not by what becomes of her, and ſo thou art a monſter to her without affection either to louelove thy wife or care for her. Bitternes in the behauiour, is either in word or deede. Indeede it is true, this bitternes in the behauiour it wil oftentimes proceed of the infirmities, that are in you women: therefore you ſhould take heed to your infirmities, and ſtir not vp that gall. But yet there is an euil ground in thee, who art the man. This bitternes of thine in behauiour proceedes of wanting of wit. It would beſeeme many a man better to be a wife, then a man. Who will count of them that cannot beare the infirmities of women, but they are degenerate men? Wiſedome and diſcretion requires that they bee borne withall. Beares not Chriſt with thy infirmities? Hath he euer broken the bruſed reede? Wilt thou not follow him, and beare with the infirmities of them, who are conioyned with thee? Yet this is not ſo ſpoken, that we ſhould let you go away altogether, but wee ſhould ſo beare with them, that wee ſhould goe about to amend them in lenitie, as Ieſus Chriſt beares with his ſpouſe the Church. And this is that honour Peter ſpeakes of in his firſt Epiſtle chap. 3. verſ. 7. giuing honour vntounto your wiues as the weaker veſſels. I will not inſiſt in this. In al this dutie of the wife to the husband, and the husband to the wife, I ſee not a better way to diſcharge it, then to hauehave thine eye vponupon Chriſt and his Church: Follow Ieſus, as he behaued himſelfe to his Church; ſo behaue thy ſelfe to thy wife. Therefore as euer thou wouldeſt bee partaker with Ieſus and his Church, conforme thy ſelfe to Chriſt and his Church: for if thou wilt not doe this, thou knoweſt not Chriſt nor his Church. Thou bitter husband, thou knoweſt not Chriſt nor his Church. Thou, who art an euill wife, knowes not Chriſt: thou keepeſt not faith to Ieſus Chriſt; and not doing that, how canſt thou be ſafe? So brethren, and ſiſters be wiſe: the Lord giuegive the man wiſedome, the Lord giuegive the woman wiſedome: for there is an account that abides eueryevery one of them. Therefore liue in feare, and mutuall dutie eueryevery one to another, that yee may bee glorified with Chriſt your head and ſpouſe. To whom with the Father and the holy Spirit, be all praiſe and honour,
Amen.