The Government of the Tongue, Chapter 7 – Chapter 10
CAP. VII. Of Sobrietie, Vrbanitie, Fidelitie, and care of others good name.
SOBRIETIE in judgement is, when a man either suspendeth his opiniō of his neighbours sayings or doings, or else speaketh as charitably as he can, by saying as little as may be, if the thing be euill: or by interpreting all in better parte; if the speech or action be doubtfull. Therefore doe thus: despise not thy neighbour, but thinke thy selfe as badde a sinner, and that the like defectes may befall thee. If thou canst not excuse his doing, excuse his intent, which may be good: or if the deede be euill, thinke it was done of ignorance: if thou canst not no way excuse him, thinke some great temptation befell him, and that thou shouldest be worse, if the like temptation befell thee: and giuegive God thankes that the like as yet hath not befallen thee. Despise not a man being a sinner, for though he be euill to day, he may turne to morrow.
Here is condemned all headie and rash judgement,Matt. 7.1. whereby men make things either worse then they are, or else they take and turne all things to the worse parte. Thus the deuill dealt with Iob, saying, Doeth Iob feare God for naught, Iob. 1.9, 11.&c. but stretch out thine hand now and touch all that he hath, to see if hee will not blaspheme thee to thy face. Such was the dealing of Doeg with David. 1. Sam. 22.9.I sawe the sonne of Ishai (saith he) when he came to Abimelech the sonne of Ahitub, who asked counsell of the Lorde for him, and gave him victuals, and he gave him also the sworde of Goliah the Philistin. Here the backe-bither concealeth the necessarie circumstances, whereby Achimelech might have beene excused, as that David asked bread being hungrie, and that he told not Ahimelech that he was out of Saules favour but he turneth all his speech to this end, to bring the Priest into suspicion with Saul.
Thus the Pharises dealt▪ Iohn came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, Matt. 11.19.Hee hath a devill. The Sonne of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Beholde a glutton, and a drinker of wine, and a friend of Publicanes and sinners.
Contrarie to this sobrietie is Flatterie, whereby for hope either of favour or gaine, men, and especially such as are of dignitie and place, are soothed up in their sinnes, and extolled above measure, even to their faces. As when Herode arayed in royall apparell, and sate on the judgement feare, and made an oration,Actes 12.22. the people gave a showte, saying, the voice of a God, and not of a man. But marke what Salomon saith,Prov. 27.14. He that praiseth his friend with a lowde voice, rising earely in the morning: it shall be counted to him for a curse. One being asked which was the worst of all beastes, answered, Of wild beasts, the tyrant: of tame beasts, the Flatterer. And another said, that Flatterers were worse then crowes. For they eate onelyonly dead carrion: these feed on living men.
And of all kindes of Flatterie, that is the worst, when a man shall speake faire to his neighbours face, and praise him: but behinde his backe, speake his pleasure, and euen cut his throate.Psal. 54.21. David complaineth of his familiar friend, that the words of his mouth were softer then butter, yet warre was in his heart; that his wordes were more gentle then oyle, yet they were swordes. The Pharises behinde Christes backe, tooke counsell howe they might intangle him in talke: but before his face they say,Matt. 24.16. Master, wee knowe that thou art true, and teachest the way of God truely, neither carest thou for any man: for thou considerest not the person of men.
Vrbanitie is a grace of speech, whereby men in seemely manner use pleasantnesse in talke for recreation, or for such delight as is joyned with profite to them selues and others. The Preacher saith, There is a time to laugh, Eccle. 3.4.and a time to weepe. When the Lorde brought againe the captivitie of Sion, we were like them that dreame. Ps. 126.1, 2.Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with joy.
Now this mirth must be joyned with the feare of God, otherwise Salomon saith well. I have saide to laughter, thou art madde: Eccle. 2.2.and of joy, what is that thou doest? And Christ saith, Woe to you that now laugh, Luke 6.25.for yee shall weepe. Secondly with compassion, and sorow for Gods people in affliction and miserie. They drinke wine in bowles, and annoint themselves with chiefe oyntments, Amos 6.6.but no man is sorie for the affliction of Ioseph. Thirdly, it must be sparing and moderate. Paul condemneth such as are lovers of pleasures, 2. Timot. 3.more then of God. Fourthly, it must be void of the practise of sinne.Hebr· 11. Moses is commended that he refused the pleasures of sinne.
The usuall time of mirth is at meates. And here Sampsons practise may bee followed,Iudg. 14.12. who at his mariage feast propounded a riddle or harde question to his friendes. And Ambrose thinketh that he did this to stoppe the mouthes of talkers, and to occupie their wits.
Withall it must bee remembred to be a Christian dutie, even at the table to maintaine talke of religion,Luke 11.37▪ & 14.1. & 22.15. and of duties of godlinesse, after the practise of our Saviour Christ: though many upon little ground thinke otherwise. Tertullian recordeth of the Christians of his time that they used in their love feasts to talke togither,Apol. ca. 39. as considering with themselves that they had God him selfe as an earewitnesse to them. Chrysostome of this point saith well.Hom. 2. in 2. Thess. 2. cap. I would to God (saith he) that in tavernes, and feastes, and at bathes men woulde talke and dispute of Hell: for the remembring of Hell would hinder a man from falling to hell. And it was the manner of the Primative Church at Dinner and Supper to use the reading of the Scriptures. When ye come to the table (saith Augustine) heare that which is reade according to custome, Aug. epist. 109.without any stirre or striving: that your mouthes may not onelyonly receive the meate, but your eares may hunger after the worde of God.
And this holy rejoycing at meates, is specially to be used with such as are godly. As Salomon saith, that hee vvhichwhich eateth at the covetous mans table, Prov. 23.8.shall vomite his morsels, and shall loose his sweete wordes. The faithfull at Ierusalem did breake bread togither, Actes 2.46.with gladnesse and singlenesse of heart.
Quest. Whether jesting be tollerable in any sort, or not?
Answ. That jesting which standeth in quippes, tauntes, and girdes, which serveth onelyonly for the offence of some, with the delight of others, is not tollerable:Ephes. 4.25. because all speech must edifie, and minister grace to the hearers: neither doeth it agree with Christian gravitie and modestie. But two kindes of jesting are tollerable: the one is moderate and sparing mirth, in the use of things indifferent, in season convenient, without the least scandall of any man, and with profite to the hearers. The second is that which the Prophets used, when they jested against wicked persons, yet so, as withall they sharpely reprooved their sinnes.1. Kin. 18.27. 2. Kin. 2.23. Isa. 14.11. At noone Eliah mocked them, and saide, Crie alowd, for he is a god: either he talketh or pursueth his enemies, or is in his journey, or it may be he sleepeth, and must be awaked▪
As for laughter, it may be used: otherwise God woulde never have given that power and facultie into man: but the use of it must be both moderate and seldome, as sorrowe for our sinnes is to be plentifull and often.Luke 19. Iohn 11. Hebr. 5.7. This we may learne in Christ his example, of whome wee reade that hee wept three times at the destruction of Ierusalem, at the raising of Lazarus, and in his agonie: but wee neuer read that hee laughed.
Fidelitie is constancie in all our lawful sayings and promises.
A promise is to be made with this condition (If God will) and then if a man be prevented by death,Iames 1.15. 1. Chr. 13.2. or by any like meanes, hee is not to be blamed: otherwise a mans lawfull worde and promise bindeth him according to the will and pleasure of him to whome it is made.2. Cor. 1.17, 23.
Nowe if afterwarde it be hurtfull to him that made it, he may crave to be free from his promise: and libertie being graunted,Psalm. 15.4. take it. But a promise bound with an oth is to be kept, though private hinderances follow: yet so as the Magistrate may order the matter, and proceed in equitie, that the dammage may be the lesse.
The last grace which is to be used in speech, is care of our neighbours good name,Prov. 22. which is farre better to him then great riches.
Here is condemned the tale-bearer, which of an euill mind telleth a thing of another, to bring him into hatred, or to reuenge himselfe, or to get something, which otherwise he could not obtaine.
This talebearing is of divers sortes. One is,Rom. 1.30. when men whisper abroade secretly the fault of another, whereas they shoulde rather admonish the partie, as Cham when he had seene his fathers nakednesse,Gē. 9. ranne straight and tolde his breethren. The second, when they adde to or change the thing said or done, as it serveth for their purpose. Some of the witnesses which came against Christ, charged him to say, I will destroy this Temple which is made with hands, and in three dayes builde another without handes. Where first they chaunge his meaning; for Christ spake of the temple of his bodie. Secondly, they adde to the wordes. For Christ saide not, I will destroy this temple: but,Matt. 26.60, 61· destroy yee this temple. Therefore the Holy Ghost noteth them with the name of false witnesse bearers. The thirde, when men surmise, and tell that which was never done. When Ieremie was going out of Ierusalem to the lande of Benjamin, Iere. 37.13.and was in the gate of Benjamin, Irijah tooke him, and saide, Thou fleest to the Chaldeans. Then saide Ieremie, that is false, I flee not to the Chaldeans, but hee would not heare him. The fourth is the coloured tale-bearing, when one speaketh evill of another, with fine prefaces and preambles, feigning that he is very sory that his neighbour hath done such or such a thing: that he speaketh it not of malice, but of a good minde: that hee is constrained to speake: that he speaketh not all he could speake: that the partie to whome the tale is tolde must keepe it secret.VponUpon Psal. 15.3. Luther writeth of this fault very well. This vice (saith he) whereby wee tell abroad the things which we heare of others, and take them in worse parte, is very rife, and of great force to sowe discordes: the rather because it often sheweth it selfe under the pretence and name of counsell and good advise. And it is a notable visard for a talebearer, to transforme him selfe into an angell of light, and under zeale for Gods glorie to backbite anll accuse his neighbour of heresie, errour, and wicked life.
Therefore the Prophets meaning is, that we should conceale the evils that be in our neighbour, and not speake them to others▪ though he be an enemie and deserve it at our handes, and onelyonly speake of those good things in him, which seeme to preserve concord: for this we would that men shoulde doe unto us. Yea, and let us take heede that we judge not or condemne any mans saying or doing rashly. Confes. lib. 9.Augustine saieth, that this was the care which his mother had towards her enemies. To doe this is a notable point of just dealing, but indeed there is no man utterly without this fault in this life: such is our wretched state in this worlde. For though some are of this minde, that they desire not to have other mens wants tolde them, and will not take all in worse part, yet if they be told and taken in worse parte of others, they can willingly heare them, neither will they checke the teller, but suffer bad surmises to take place with them. But Gedaliah the sonne of Ahicham excelled in the contrarie vertue, Ier. 40.who chose rather to hazard his life, then to suspect evill by Ismaell.
This tale-bearing is the common table talke in England: and it is wonderfull to see, how those, who are otherwise godly, are overtaken with it: but men must learne to stande more in awe of Gods commaundement, and also to consider that the same thing a man speaketh of another, commeth home againe by his owne dore. Wherfore, when men shall enter any evill communication of others, we are to interrupt it by other talke, as not regarding it.
Here remember that when governours and Magistrates shall use harde wordes, not in the way of defamation, but for the reprooving of a vice, it is not to slaunder:Gal. 3. mat. 3. as, O foolish Galathians: O generation of vipers. And Christ tearmeth Herod, Foxe.
CAP. VIII. Of the bondes of Trueth.
THVS much of grace in speech. Now followeth bondes of trueth, whereby the trueth of our talke is testified and confirmed.
There are three: A simple assertion, an asseveration, an othe.
A simple assertion, is either a simple affirmation, as yea, yea: or a simple negation, as nay, nay: they are to be used only in our familiar and common talke. Let your communication be yea, yea; nay, Matt. 5.nay: and whatsoever is more, commeth of evill.
If the trueth which we affirme or denie be doubtfull or contingent, then such clauses as these (It is so, or it is not so as I thinke, as I remember, as I take it) are to be added. If one shall say, It is so, and afterwards it proove otherwise, hee receiveth discredite, because he spake an untrueth. But if he shall say, I thinke it is so, though it fall out otherwise, yet he saveth his credite, because he deceiveth not, but onelyonly is deceivrd.
An asseveration is, when one doeth vehemently affirme or deny any thing. This is not to be used at eueryevery worde: but then onelyonly when a trueth of greater importance is to be confirmed. When the false prophets among the Iewes and the Priestes would not beleeve that Ieremie was sent of God: what saith he? not simply,Iere. 26.15. The Lord hath sent me: but, In trueth the Lorde hath sent me. Our Saviour Christ, when he used to speake any waightie matter, used to say, Amen, Amen, Verily, Verily, which is a plaine asseveration: for Amen is more then a simple affirmation, and it is lesse then an othe, as the very sence of the worde doth import: which is no more, but Truely, Certenly.
The thirde is an othe, which must not be made by any thing in heaven or earth, but onelyonly by the Name of God alone.
It must be used as the last refuge and remedie of all. For when any trueth of great importance is to be confirmed, and all signes, evidences, proofes, witnesses, faile among men on earth: then wee may lawfully fetch the Lorde as a witnesse from heauen, who is the knower of all trueth.
And in this case an othe may be taken: either publikely before a Magistrate, or privately among private persons, if it be done with reverence and consideration:Gene. 31.53. as it was betweene Iacob and Laban.
CAP. IX. What is to be done when wee have spoken.
AFter a man hath spoken his minde, very fewe wordes more are to be added. He that hath knowledge spareth his words. In many words there can not want iniquitie: Prov. 17.25.but he that refraineth his lippes is wise.
He that speaketh many wordes, speaketh either false things or superfluous, or both: as when a river overfloweth, the water gathereth much slime: so many wordes many faultes. When a vessell being smitten maketh a great noise, it is a token that it is emptie: and so the sound of many wordes shewes a vaine heart. The Gentiles have said, that God gave a man one tongue and two eares, that hee might heare more and speake lesse. Valerius Maximus reporteth of Xenocrates, that being in the companie of some that used railing speeches, held his tongue: and being asked why he did so, answered, That it had repented him that he had spoken, but it never repented him that he had helde his peace. And the proverbe is, He that will speake what he will, shall heare what he would not. To the framing of our speech Ambrose requireth three things:Offic. lib. 1. a yoke, a ballance, and a metwand: a yoke, to keepe it in a stayed gravitie: a ballance, to giuegive it weight of reason: a metwand, to keepe it in measure and moderation.
This rule must be practised carefully, for the avoiding of chiding, brawling, and contention. Let nothing be done by contention, Philip. 2.3. Let students and schollars learne to practise this: for what shall another mans opinion hurt thee, though in reasoning he be not of thy minde in every point.
Here take heede of the spirit of Contradiction, whereby some by thwarting and contradicting eueryevery man, at length prooue either obstinate Heretikes, or lewde Atheists, and make no bones to contradict the holy Ghost, and to call the scriptures in question, and dispute that there is no God.
Nowe if a man speake necessarie thinges, though he continue his speech till midde-night, as Paul did,Actes 20.7. it can not be called immoderate or superfluous talke.
CAP. X. Of Writing.
ALL this which is set downe … concerning speech, must as well be practised in writing as in speaking. Whereby are condemned ballads, bookes of louelove, all idle discourses and histories, being nothing els but inticements and baites unto manifold sinnes, fitter for Sodom and Gomorrah then for Gods Church. And it must be followed as well in speaking of Latine or any other tongue, as English, which students hauehave not marked: for whereas they will not sweare in English, yet in Latine they make no bones of it, saying, Mehercule, mediùs fidiùs, aedipol, per deos immortales. And whereas they holde but one God in judgement, yet in their Latine exercises, they speake of Iupiter, and of the immortall gods, after the manner of the heathen. What a shame is this, that a Christian, and that in Christian schooles, should either be ashamed or not use to speake as a Christian, but as Atheists do? If thou hauehave many tongues and knowest not howe to use them well: hee which hath but his mother tongue, ordering it aright, is a better linguist then thou.