The Government of the Tongue, Chapter 6
CAP. VI. Of Modestie and of Meekenesse.
MODESTY in speech hath divers caveats: first if a man speake any thing of him selfe, that is, in his owne commendation, let him alter the person and speake of him selfe as of another: I know a man (saith Paul, speaking of him-selfe) in Christ above fourteene yeres agoe, 2. Cor. 12.2.&c. which was taken up into Paradise, and heard wordes which can not be spoken. And Iohn saith of himselfe;Iohn 19.26. When Iesus sawe his mother, and the disciple whome he loved, standing by, &c. Here take heede of boasting, whereby men imitate the devill, who said,Luke 4.6. All this power will I give thee, and the glorie of those kingdomes, for that is delivered unto me, and to whomsoeuer I will give it.
Againe, when a man shall have occasion to speake of his owne faultes and corruptions, let him speake the uttermost against himselfe, as Paul called him selfe the first of all sinners. 1. Tim. 1.13, 15.But … be to mention any thing of him selfe, that may minister matter of commendation, let his speech rather incline to the defect, then to the excesse: as Paul saith, I am the least of the Apostles, 1. Cor. 15.9.which … not meete to be called an Apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God.
Secondly, in the mentioning of things which moove blushing, we are to use as seemely wordes as may be chosen. Gen. 41 1. Afterwarde Adam knewe Hevah his wife, which conceived and bare Cain. 1. Sam. 24.4. And when he came to the sheepecoates by the way where there was …, and Saul went in to cover his feet, that is, to doe his easement.
Meekenesse also required in communication, which is, when a man useth … and faire speech. … … remembrance &c. that they be courteous, Tit. 3.2, 3.shewing all meekenesse to all men, for we our selves also were in times past unwise, disobedient, &c.
Meekenesse and gentlenesse shewes it selfe in Salutations, Answeres and Reproofes.
For the first, daily experience sheweth, that it maketh much for the maintaining of love, to call men by their proper names or surnames. And this was a signe of speciall favour that God called Moses by his proper name. Yet more convenient it is, to salute our betters by names of honour or office. Thus the disciples call our Saviour Christ Rabbi: and it was the usuall manner among the Iewes, to call their betters Adon, that is, Lorde, or syr.
The formes of salutations are to be after the order practised in scripture. An Angell saluted Gedeon thus: The Lorde be with thee thou valiant man. Iud. 6.12.And Boaz came to Bethlehem, and said to the repers, The Lorde be with you:Ruth. 2.4. and they answered, The Lorde blesse thee. And the Angell saluted Mary: Haile, freely beloved, the Lorde is with thee, &c. Christ comming among his disciples, saide, Peace be among you: and he taught them comming to any house to say,Matt. 10.11, 12, 13. Peace be to this house.
By this it appeareth, that our common formes of salutations are commendable: which are of divers sortes: as when one meetes another, God save you: when one goes away, God be with you ▪ in the morning, God give you a good morning: after noone, God give you a good evening: when one is going on his journey, God speede your journey: when one is working, God speede you: in eating, much good doe it you: when one hath a new office, God give you joy of your office: when one is sicke, God comfort you, &c.
And when children salute their fathers and mothers after this manner: I pray you father blesse me, I pray you mother blesse me: it is a seemely thing. For God hath made parents to be the instruments of blessing to their children in nurtoring them and praying for them. As the fift commaundement saith, Honour thy father and mother, that they may prolong thy dayes.
It is … use in all places, when a man neeseth, to salute him by saying, Christ helpe you. But there is no cause why the words should then be used more then at another time▪ Aug. de hist. animal. l. 1. cap. 10. & probl. sect. 33 Plin. li. 28. c. 2.The reasons are▪ I. It is an olde custome fetched from the Gentiles before Christ, and hath no ground at all: for they used with the like wordes to wish men health, because they thought neesing to be a sacred and holy thing: and because some take it to be a signe of unhappie and evill successe, which indeed is otherwise. II. If there be any danger in the brain before neesing when a man hath neesed the danger is past▪ as learned Phisitians teach: therfore▪ there is no cause of the using such words then more then at coughing.
Our answeres must be soft that anger be neither kindled nor increased.Prov. 15.23. A soft answere putteth away wrath, but grievous words stirre up anger. 1. Sam. 24.7, 8Nabal by … language provoked David to wrath, but Abigail by the contrarie appeased him. Gedeon spake gently to the men of Ephraim, Iudg. 8.3.when they were angry against him, and appeased them. For the text saith, When he had thus spoken, then their spirits abated towards him. Therefore Salomon saith well, A joy commeth to a man by the answere of his mouth, but how good is a word in due season.
Now if any shall raile on us, our duty is, not to raile againe.Rom. 12.14. Blesse them that persecute you, Blesse, I say, and curse not. Be curteous, 1. Pet. 3.4.not rendring evill for evill neither rebuke for rebuke, but contrariwise blesse, knowing that ye be thereunto called, that you should be heires of blessing. This thing was notably practised by David. Psal. 109.4. For my friendship, they were mine adversaries, but I gave my selfe to prayer. And therefore in this case, either silence is to be used, or at the most onelyonly a just and manifest defence of our innocencie to be made.2. Kin. 18.36. Ezechias commaunded the people to be silent, and not to say any thing to the speech of Rabsachai, now flattering now threatning. When Eli spake hardly of Anna, & badde her put away her drunkennesse, she answered,1. Sam. 1.15. Nay, my lorde, I am a woman troubled in spirite, I have neither drunke wine nor strong drinke, but have powred out my soule before the Lorde. Gene. 40.15.Thus Ioseph cleareth him-selfe, saying, I have done nothing wherefore they should put me in the dungeon. And Daniel to Nabuchodonosor: VntoUnto thee, O King, Dan. 6.22.have I done no hurt. And our Saviour Christ when the Iewes saide unto him,Ioh. 8.48, 49. Say wee not true, that thou art a Samaritane and hast a devill? answered, I have not a devill, but I honour my father, and yee have dishonoured me. And Paul beeing to make an apologie for himselfe, begins thus: Men and brethren, Actes 23.1.I have in all good conscience served God untill this day.
Now when a man hath thus cleared him selfe, though his owne worde in his owne behalfe take no effect, yet let him patiently commit his cause to God, who in time will manifest the trueth,Psal. 26. and bring it to light: As David did, Iudge me, O God (saith he) for I have walked in mine innocencie. And againe,Psal. 37.32▪ 33. The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him: but the Lorde will not leave him in his hande, nor condemne him when he is judged.
Meekenesse in reproofes is, when any shall admonish his brother of any fault for his amendment, with the like moderation that Chirurgeons use, who beeing to set the arme or legge that is forth of joynt, handle it so tenderly, that the patient shall scant feele when the bone falles in againe. This counsell Paul giveth: Breethren, if any man be fallen by occasion into any fault, Galat. 6.1.ye which are spirituall, restore such a one (or set him in joynt againe) with the spirite of meeknesse. This was practised by Abraham towardes Lot, when their heardmen were at variance, saying, Let there be, I pray thee, Gene. 13.8, 9.no strife betweene thee and me, neither betweene mìne heardmen and thine: for we are brethren.
And this is done foure wayes. First, when wee reproove a man generally, as Nathan did David by a parable.2. Sam. 12. Secondly, when in the roome of a reproofe we put an exhortation: In the exhortation insinuating an oblique reproofe, as when a man shall sweare in his talke, I, shall not need alwaies to say, Yee▪ doe verie ill to sweare, and so to dishonour God: But, I w…ll lappe it up in the forme of an exhortation, as pilles are lapt in sugar by saying, Yea and nay▪ yea and nay shall serue among us. Rebuke not an Elder, 1. Tim. 5.1.but exhort him as a father, and young men as breethren, saieth▪ Paul to Timothie. Thirdly, when the reproofe is propounded in a mans owne person as though hee were faultie which reprooveth. Paul practised this: Novv these things, breethren, 1. Cor. 4.6.(saieth hee) I have figuratively applyed to mine owne selfe and Apollos for your sakes, that yee might learne by us, that no man presume above that which is vvritten. Fourthly, when the fault is directly reprooved, but yet partly with prefaces, that wee doe it of love,Galat. 61. that wee wish well to the partie, that wee speake as considering our selves, that wee also are in daunger of the same fault: and partly by framing the reproofe out of the worde of God, that the partie may see him-selfe, rather to be reprooved by God, then by us: after this manner the inferiour may admonish his superiour, especially when there is no other way of redresse, and hee is to listen, yeelding himselfe tractable. Naaman is advised by his servant, who said, Father, if the Prophet had commaunded thee a great thing, 2. Kin. 5.13.wouldest thou not have done it: how much rather then, when he saieth to thee, Wash, and be cleane? Then went hee downe and washed him-selfe seven times in Iordan ▪
When any shall in this manner be admonished of a fault, they are to yeeld themselves tractable and thankefull and heartily glad of so good a friend. Notable is the speech of the Psalmist: Let the righteous smite me, it is a benefite: Psal. 141.5.& let him reproove me, it is the chiefe ointment, let it not be wanting to my head. And Salomon saith, A reproofe entreth more into him that hath understanding, Prov. 17.10.then an hundreth stripes into a foole. Prov. 27.5.And, Open rebuke is better then secret love.