Christian Economy, Treatise · Chapter 11
CHAP. 11.
Of the Husband.
MArried folkes are either husbād or wife.
The husband is he which hath authoritie ouer the wife; hereupon in Scripture he is called the guide of her youth, Prou. 2. 17. and they twaine being but one flesh, he is also the head ouer his wife.
The duties of the husband towards the wife, are these:
I. To louelove her as himselfe: Eph. 5. 33. Let eueryevery one louelove his wife euen as himselfe. Gen. 24. 67. Afterward Isaak brought her vntounto the tent of Sarah his mother; and hee tooke Rebekah and she was his wife, and he loued her: so Isaak left mourning for his mother. Note, how the louelove of the husband to the wife, mitigates sorrow for the death of the mother.
He is to shew this louelove in two things: First in protecting her from danger, Gen. 20. 16. And vntounto Sarah he said, behold I hauehave giuen 1000. shekels of siluer vntounto thy brother: behold he is the couering of thine eies amongst all that are with thee. Let it be knowne amongst all, & be thou instructed. 1. Sam. 30. 5. Dauids two wiues were taken prisoners also, Ahinoam the Izreelite, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite: v. 8. Then Dauid asked counsell of the Lord saying; Shall I follow after this companie,? shall I ouertake them? And hee answered him, Follow, for thou shalt surely ouertake them, and recouer all. Secondly, in regarding her estate as his owne, and prouiding maintenance for her, both for his life time, and as much as he may, for time to come after his death. Ephes. 5. 28. So ought men to louelove their wiues, as their owne bodies: he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe; vers. 29. For no man yet hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth it, &c. Exod. 21. 10. If he take him another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her rayment, and recompence of her virginitie. Ruth. 3. 9. VntoUnto whom he said, who art thou? which said; I am Ruth thine handmaid, spread therefore the wing of thy garment ouer thine handmaid; for thou art the kinsman.
II. To honor his wife: 1. Pet. 3. 7. Giuing honor to the woman.
This honor stands in three things: First, in making account of her, as his companion, or yoke-fellow. For this cause, the woman, when she was created, was not takē out of the mans head, because she was not made to rule ouer him; nor out of his feet, because God did not make her subiect to him as a seruant; but out of his side, to the end that man should take her as his mate. Secōdly, in a wise & patiēt bearing or couering of her infirmities, as anger, waywardnes and such like, in respect of the weaknes of her sexe, 1. Pet. 3. 7. Giuing honor to the woman, as vntounto the weaker vessell, seeing yee are heires together of the grace of life, that your prayers bee not hindred. Thirdly, by suffering himselfe sometimes to be admonished or aduised by her. It was Gods commandement to Abraham concerning Sarah his wife; Let it not be grieuous in thy sight for the child, and for thy bond-woman: in all that Sarah shall say vntounto thee, heare her voice; For in Isaak shall thy seed be called, Gen. 21. 12. Thus Elkanah was willing to subscribe vntounto his wife Annaes aduice, for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned, 1. Sam. 1. 23. And Elkanah her husband said vntounto her, do what seemeth thee best: tarrie vntill thou hast weaned him: only the Lord accomplish his word. Hereupon the Heathen Philosopher said,Arist. Ethic. lib. 8. That the master of the familie exerciseth (after a sort) a power Tyrannical ouer his seruants, a power Regall ouer his children; because Kings are fathers of their Cōmon-weales: but in respect of his wife, he exerciseth a power Aristocraticall, not after his owne will, but agreeable to the honor and dignitie of the married estate; and consequently, that he ought not in modestie to challenge the priuiledge of prescribing and aduertising his wife in al matters domesticall, but in some to leaue her, to her owne will and iudgement.
Heere question is moued, whether the husband may correct the wife?
Answ. Though the husband be the wiues head, yet it seemeth he hath no power nor libertie granted him in this regard. For we reade not in the Scriptures, any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authoritie. He may reproue & admonish her in word only, if he seeth her in fault. For, thus we reade, that Iacob censured his wife, being impatient, euen in anger, Gen. 30. 2. Am I in Gods stead, which hath withholden from thee, the fruit of the wombe? And Iob reproued his wife, Iob 2. 10. Thou speakest like a foolish woman. What? Shall we receiue good at the hand of God, and not receiue euill? But hee may not chastise her either with stripes, or stroks. The reason is plaine; Wiues are their husbands mates; and they two be one flesh. And no man will hate, much lesse beat his owne flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, Ephes. 5. 29. Againe, it is the commandement of God, that man should not trespasse against the wife of his youth, Malac. 2. 15. Chrysostome saith,In 1. Cor. 11. Homil. 26. It is the greatest reproch for any man, that can bee, to beate his wife. Plutarch in the life of Cato the Censor, affirmeth, that he which smiteth his wife, doth all one, as if he should lay violent hands vponupon the sacred images of the gods, which was counted an high degree of offence among the Heathen.
It is alledged, Husbands are cōmanded so to louelove their wiues, as Christ doth his Church; now Christ chastiseth his Church, with strokes; & therefore so may the husband his wife. Answ. As Christ doth entirely louelove his Church, so hee may also chastise the same, because hee is not only the husband, but also absolute Lord and King of his Church: so is not the husband absolute ouer the wife.
But his authority ouer the wife, is after a sort ciuill, as is the authoritie of the Magistrate ouer his people. Ans. It is not so. For the Magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword, by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence. But the husband can challenge to himselfe no such power:… yea it is flatly forbidden in the Ciuil law, that he should scourge or strike his wife.
Neuerthelesse, if she grow to extremities, and be desperately peruerse, so as there be no hope of amendment; then the Magistrate may be informed, who to preuent scandals, and to prouide for publike peace, both ought and may assigne vntounto her necessary correction, and punishment according to her desert. Now the husband that hath a wife so stubborne and peeuish, must beare it, if it may be borne, as the portion of his crosse laid vponupon him by God. And in this case, if he be impatient, he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied, but he is not wholly to be excused.