Christian Economy, Treatise · Chapter 10
CHAP. 10.
Of the Communion of married folkes, and of due beneuolence.
THe cōmunion of man & wife, is that dutie, whereby they do mutually and willingly communicate, both their persons, & goods each to other, for their mutuall helpe, necessitie and comfort, Ephes. 5. 28. So ought mē to louelove their wiues as their own bodies; he that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe.
This dutie consisteth principally in the performance of special beneuolēce one to another, & that not of courtesie, but of due debt, 1. Cor. 7. 3. Let the husband giuegive vntounto the wife due beneuolence, and likewise also the wife vntounto the husband.
Due beneuolence must be shewed with a singular and entire affection one towards another; and that three waies principally.
First, by the right and lawfull vse of their bodies, or of the marriage-bed, which is indeed an essentiall dutie of mariage.
The mariage-bed signifieth that solitarie and secret societie, that is betweene man and wife alone.
And it is a thing of it owne nature indifferent; neither good nor bad; and so Paul numbereth it amongst indifferent things, 1. Cor. 7. 27. Art thou bound vntounto a wife? seeke not to be loosed: art thou loosed from a wife? seeke not a wife. Wherfore the Church of Rome erreth two contrarie waies. First, in that it maketh mariage to be a Sacrament, and so euerie action of it, to be of the owne nature good. Secondly, in that they prohibite mariage of certaine parties, and the reason of the prohibition may seeme to be this; that they thinke this secret comming together of man and wife to be filthines.Canon. Proposuisti, Distinct. 82. This was the sentence of Syricius, that filthie Pope of Rome; who determined that mariage was the vncleannesse of the flesh, and to that purpose abused the words of the Apostle, Rom. 8. 8. affirming, that they which are in the flesh, that is, in the estate of Matrimonie, cannot please God. Yea and after that mariage was condemned by them, some began to detest and hate women,Sozomen. lib. 3. cap. 16. as Ephraim the Syrian,Sess. 8. Canon. 9. 10. of whō Ecclesiasticall stories make mention. And the Councell of Trent is of the same iudgement. For whereas it opposeth mariage and chastitie; it plainly determineth that in mariage there is no chastitie.
This comming together of man and wife, although it be indifferent, yet by the holy vsage thereof, it is made a holy and vndefiled action, Hebr. 13. 4. Mariage is honorable among all, and the bedde vndefiled. And it is (as all other creatures and ordinances of God are) sanctified by the word & praier, 1. Tim. 4. 3.—Forbidding to marry, &c. v. 4.—And nothing ought to be refused:—for it is sanctified by the word of God, & praier. In which place it is to be obserued, how the Apostle applieth the point of sanctification directly to mariage.
The word of God giueth direction to married folkes two wayes. First, by giuing them warrant, that they may lawfully do this action; because whatsoeuer is not done of faith (which faith must be grounded on Gods word) is a sin. Secondly, by prescribing the right and holy manner of doing the same.
The holy maner stands in these particulars.
First, that it be done in moderation. For euen in wedlocke excesse in lusts is no better then plaine adulterie before God.Ambros. lib. de Philosoph. citat. ab August. contr. Iulianum. lib. 2. This is the iudgement of the ancient Church, that Intemperance, that is, immoderate desire euen betweene man and wife, is fornication.
Secondly, that it be vsed in an holy abstinence.
Abstinence from this secret societie, must be vsed in two cases.
First, while the woman is in her flowers, Leuit. 18. 19. Thou shalt not go to a woman to vncouer her shame, as long as shee is put apart for her disease. And it is made one of the properties of a good man, not to lie with a menstruous woman, Ezek. 18. 6.
Secondly, in the time of a solemne fast, when some grieuous calamitie is imminent. Then they are to giuegive themselues (by mutuall consent) to fasting and prayer, 1. Cor. 7. 5. Defraud not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that you may giuegive your selues to fasting and prayer: and againe come together, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinencie. 2. Sam. 11. 11. Then Vriah answered Dauid, The Arke, and Israel, and Iudah dwell intents: and my Lord Ioab, and the seruants of my Lord abide in the open fields: shall I then go into mine house to eate and drinke, and lie with my wife? By thy life, and by the life of thy soule, I will not do this thing. Zach. 12. 12. The familie of the house of Dauid shall mourne apart, and their wiues apart; the familie of the house of Nathan apart, and their wiues apart, &c.
Next vntounto the word, this action may be sanctified by prayer, for a blessing vponupon it. Children are the gift of God, and therfore married folkes are not only to vse the meanes, but also to pray for the obtaining of them, Psal. 113. 9. He maketh the barren woman to dwell with a familie, and to be a ioyfull mother of children. Psal. 127. 3. Behold children are the inheritance of the Lord, and the fruit of the wombe his reward. Examples for this purpose are these, Gen. 25. 21. Isaac prayed vntounto the Lord for his wife, because shee was barren, and the Lord was intreated of him; and Rebekah his wife conceiued. 1. Sam. 1. 26. 27. And she said, Oh my Lord, as thy soule liueth, my Lord, I am the woman that stood with thee here, praying vntounto the Lord. vers. 27. I prayed for this child, and the Lord hath giuen me my desire, which I asked of him.
Now the fruits, which are reaped and inioyed by this holy vsage of the mariage bed, are three. I. The hauing of a blessed seed. Deut. 28. 1. If thou shalt obey diligently the voice of the Lord thy God, &c. Blessed shall be the fruit of thy bodie, and the fruit of thy ground. Which also is called the seed of God, being begot in an holy maner, Mal. 2. 15. And did not he make one? yet had he abundance of Spirit: And wherefore one? because he sought a seed of God: therefore keepe your selues in your spirit, and let none trespasse against the wife of his youth. II. The preseruation of the bodie in cleannesse, that it may be a fit Temple for the holy Ghost to dwell in, 1. Thess. 4. 3. 4. This is the will of God, euen your sanctification, that eueryevery one of you should know how to possesse his vessell in holines and honor, and not in the lust of concupiscence, euen as the Gentiles that know not God. III. The holy estate of marriage is a liuely type of Christ and his Church, and this communion of married persons, is also a figure of the coniunction that is betweene him, and the faithfull, Hos. 2. 19. I will marrie thee vntounto me, for euer; yea I will marrie the vntounto me in righteousnes, in iudgement, in merciemercy and in cōpassion: I will euen marrie thee vntounto me in faithfulnes, and thou shalt know the Lord. Ephes. 5. 23. For the husband is the wiues head, euen as Christ is the head of the Church, and the same is the Sauiour of his bodie.
Heere some questions are to be resolued.
Case. I. Whether may mariage be dissolued in the case of barrennesse?
Answ. No. For barrennesse is an hidden infirmitie for the most part, and which God hath many times cured, euen when it seemed to be desperate, as in Sarah. Again, the fruit of the wombe is Gods blessing; and wholly dependeth vponupon him. Hee therefore that in want of children, reiecteth his wife, whom he hath receiued at the hands of God, offereth wrong euen to God himselfe.
Case II. What if either of the married folkes commit fornication, or any sinne of the same kind greater then fornication, as Incest, Sodomie, lying with beasts, or such like.
Answ. Adulterie and fornication are most grieuous and open crimes, which do breake the very bond and couenant of mariage, Prou. 2. 17. and therfore when they are certainly knowne by such persons, they are at no hand to be winked at, but the Magistrate is presently to be informed of them. Howbeit, if the innocent partie be willing to receiue the adulterer againe, in regard of his repentance; lest hee should seeme to fauour and maintaine sin, and to bee himselfe a practiser of vncleannesse, he is to repaire to the Congregation, and declare the whole matter to the Minister, that he may vnderstand the parties repentance, and desire of forgiuenesse.
And if the adulteresse hath conceiued, and is in trauell, the husband to auoid the imputation of hauing an heire in bastardie, is to make relation to the Church of the repentance of the adulteresse; or to acquaint some certaine persons therewith, not to the end that she should be punished for the fact, but that they may take notice of a child cōceiued in adultery, whom afterward he may lawfully put off, as none of his.
The matter being knowne, the innocent partie may require a diuorcement. For adulterie is such a sin, as doth quite break off not only the vse, but the bond and couenant of mariage, Matth. 19. 9. I say therefore vntounto you, that whosoeuer shall put away his wife, except it be for whoredome, and marrie another, committeth adulterie, &c. And yet the same bond may be continued, and grow vp againe by the good will and consent of the partie innocent, and consequently they may be reconciled, and dwell together still. 1. Sam. 25. 44. Now Saul had giuen Michal his daughter Dauids wife, to Phalti the sonne of Laish, which was of Gallim. 2. Sam. 3. 14. Then Dauid sent messengers to Ishbosheth Sauls sonne, saying, Deliuer me my wife Michal, which I married for an hundred foreskins of the Philistims. The same course may be taken in like cases by the innocent, specially vponupon the repentance of the guiltie person. But yet eueryevery man must be left to his owne conscience, and none is to bee compelled to take another, from whom hee may iustly bee separated against his will.
Now in requiring of a diuorce, there is an equall right and power in both parties, so as the woman may require it as well as the man; and he as wel as she. The reason is, because they are equally bound each to other, and hauehave also the same interest in one anothers bodie; prouided alwaies, that the man is to maintaine his superioritie, and the woman to obserue that modestie which beseemeth her towards the man.
After the diuorcement made, it shal be lawful for the harmelesse partie, not hauing the gift of continencie, vponupon leaue obtained of the Church, and the Christian Magistrate, to marrie againe.
But what then shall become of the partie offending?
Answ. If vponupon the hazard of his Conscience in want of the remedie, any libertie of second mariage, bee to bee granted vntounto him by the Church or Ciuill Magistrate; (as indeed here in England there is not;) diuers restraints, in this Case, must be obserued.
First, no such libertie is to be granted, so long as the matter remaines vncertaine, whether they may be reconciled, specially while the partie innocent liueth in single life. Secondly, it must euidently appeare, that the said offending partie hath earnestly rpented him of his sin, before he can either be receiued into the Church, or admitted to a second mariage. Thirdly, this liberty is not to be granted him either presently, or vnaduisedly; but vponupon frequent and serious admonition, rather to giuegive himselfe to mourning and lamentation, and still to remaine alone, then to desire againe to enioy the benefit of that state, which he hath alreadie so shamefully abused.
So much of the first way of performance of due beneuolence.
The second way is, by cherishing one another: Ephes. 5. 29. No man euer hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as Christ also doth the Church. This cherishing is the performing of any duties, that tend to the preseruing of the liues one of another. Wherefore they are freely to cōmunicate their goods, their coūsel, their labors each to other; for the good of themselues and theirs.
The third way is, by an holy kind of reioicing and solacing themselues each with other, in a mutuall declaration of the signes and tokens of louelove and kindnesse. Prou. 5. 18. Reioyce with the wife of thy youth: vers. 19. Let her be as the louing Hind, and pleasant wild goat: let her breasts satisfie thee at all times, and delight in her louelove continually. Cantic. 1. 1. Let him kisse me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy louelove is better them wine. Gen. 26. 8. So after he had bin there a long time, Abimelek King of the Philistims, looked out at a window, and loe, hee saw Isaak sporting with Rebekah his wife: Then Abimelek called Isaak and said; Loe, shee is of a suretie thy wife. Esay 62. 7. As a yong man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sonnes marrie thee; and as a Bridegroome is glad of the Bride, so shall thy God reioyce ouer thee.
This reioycing and delight is more permitted to the man, then to the woman; and to them both, more in their yong yeares, then in their old age.