Continuation of Journal During the Time Detained in England by the Embargo, Journal entry 38
On board the Elizabeth, Capt. Stevenson, bound from England to Philadelphia.
Tuesday, August 14. Got on board about Eight last Night, and received the following Letter from Thomas Webb, Clerk of the Parish of Bretforton in Worcestershire; whom Mr. Benj. Seward mentioned in a Letter, published in my last Journal.
Reverend and Worthy SIR,
Altho' I am unknown to you in Person, yet as I trust I am, by the Grace of GOD, awaken'd to a New and Spiritual Life, thro' the powerful Influence of your Ministry, I think myself under an Obligation to give my Testimony to the Truth as it is in JESUS; and to pay my grateful Acknowledgments to the Freedom of that Divine Grace which has made you so wonderfully instrumental in Calling me, a most unworthy Sinner, at this last Hour of the Day, from a state of Darkness and Insensibility, to the marvellous Light of his glorious Gospel. The Circumstances of my Conversion were as follows. I heard you was to preach on Thursday the 19th of … last at Mr. Seward's of …: and living at Bretforton, a Village about a Mile from thence (where I have been Clerk of the Parish for about thirty Years, being now in the Sixty-third Year of my Age) my Curiosity, as I then should have termed it; but, as it is since evident by the Consequence, the wonderful Goodness and Providence of Almighty GOD, led me to hear you, which I did with great Attention, and was much affected. The next Day being Good Friday, I attended your Ministry again, with great Warmth, when you spoke with such Demonstration of the Spirit, and with Power, from these Words, Watch therefore, &c. That I soon was convinced I was in the State of the foolish Virgins, who were unprepar'd to meet the Bridegroom, having all my Life long taken up with the Lamp of an outward Profession, thinking it sufficient, that I duly and constantly attended the publick Worship, Sacraments, &c. but I soon found, to my great Confusion, that I had all my Life long been offering to GOD the Sacrifice of Fools; being destitute of the pure Oil of Grace in the Heart, which could alone make me meet to attend the Marriage Feast of the Supper of the Lamb. The New-Birth, Justification by Faith only, the want of free Will in Man to do good Works without the special Grace of GOD, and the like, was as it were new Language to me: For tho' I remembred the Letter of these Doctrines, yet the spiritual Sense thereof, I was an utter Stranger to: But being very much oppressed in Thought, concering most important Truths which you delivered, as soon as I returned home, I search'd an old Exposition of the Catechism, the Church Articles, and Book of Homilies, which I found exactly to correspond with what I had heard deliver'd by you.—Some Days after this, I being a Taylor by Trade, was sent for to Work at a little Ale-House, called Conter…up, where (tho' one of the …st Places I should have expected Food for the Soul) the Man of the House told me he had some old Books which he had of one Mr. F— a Glazier and Plumber in Tweksbury, who had thrown them by, in order to send them to the Paper Mill, as fit for no other purpose; but he begged they might be given to him; that he had heard Mr. Whitefield; had got his Sermons on the New-Birth, and that these old Books spoke to the very same Purpose as Mr. Whitefield did: Upon which I desired to see one of them (the other being then lent out) the Title whereof was General Directions for a comfortable Walking with GOD, by Robert Bolton an old Divine of our own Church. I had not read long, before the Light broke in upon my Soul, with such powerful Evidence, that I was from that Instant clearly convinced, and, I hope by the Grace of GOD, determined not to know any Thing, save JESUS CHIRST and him crucified. Upon this I avoided all carnal Acquaintance and Reasoning, as much as possible; constantly attended the Religious Society at Badsey; where, by hearing your Sermons, and other Religious Exercises, I daily was strengthened and comforted. Soon after this I got the other old Book, which was so providentially preserved from the Paper-Mill: The title whereof was as f…llows, Six Evangelical Histories, Water turn'd into Wine. The Temple's Purgation. Christ and Nicodemus. John's last Testimony. Christ and the Woman of Samaria: The Ruler's Son healed: Contain'd in the second, third & fourth Chap of St. John's Gospel: Open'd and handled by the late faithful Servant of GOD, Daniel Dyk…, Batchelor in Divinity. Printed Anno Domini 1617.
This old Book has been a very grateful Cordial to my Soul; and tho' I have lived under the Sound of the Gospel for so many Years, and thought I did not want to be taught the first Principles of Christianity at this Age, being, as I apprehended, well thought of, and esteem'd by all my Neighbours▪ yet I am fully convinced, that I knew nothing as I ought to know; and that the Gospel was to me a sealed Book; but by the wonderful free Grace of GOD, tho' before I had Eyes that saw not, Ears, and heard not, I now received it as a Savour of Life unto Life; and can say experimentally, that the Word of GOD is a Light unto my Feet, and a Lanthorn to my Paths.—For this Declaration of the Truth, I have suffered the Reproach and Derision of them that were round about me: But I trust, that the Grace of GOD, which hath called me when so old and dead in Trespasses and Sins, will also touch the Hearts of my Opposers, and work in them both to will and to do of his good Pleasure. I have been even threatn'd with the loss of my Bread, for the Profession of the Truth; but I hope GOD will turn the Hearts of my Enemies; if not, and it were his blessed Will, I hope I should be enabled to lay down my Life in Defence of the Gospel, which I can truly say, is glad Tidings of great Salvation to my Soul; and could, I think, be content with old Simeon, to …ry out in transport, LORD, now lettest thou thy Servant Depart in Peace. The inward Light and Comfort I have felt, being to me more Miraculous than if I had seen one …ose from the Dead.—May the LORD prosper your Labours, and make them successful to the turning many Souls to Righteousness: And as you know in whom you have believed, so I am confident you will join with me in giving all Glory to that GOD, who I trust hath created us anew in CHRIST JESUS; in whom I most humbly and thankfully beg leave to subscribe myslef,
Your most unworthy Servant, THOMAS WEBB. Aug. 11. 1739.
Rose early this Morning and reduc'd my Family into order. Wrote some Letters, and, after much Entreaty, went to Gravesend: Read Prayers and preached at Milton Church, near the Town,—The Congregation was large.—I spoke with Freedom; and returned back to the Ship about … in the Evening. Blessed be GOD, I was much rejoiced at my Retiring from the World. Oh that GOD may now shew me my self!
Search, try, O LORD, my Reins and Heart,
If Evil lu…ks in any Part,
Correct me where I go astray,
And guide me in thy perfect Way.
Wednesday, August 15. Began to put those of my Family who were prepared for it, into Bands. In all we are 8 Men, 4 Women, 1 Boy and 2 Children, besides Mr. Seward and myself. The Conversion of one of the Men was particularly remarkable.—Not long since he was Master of a Ship which was lost near the Gulf of Florida. Providence was pleas'd to throw him and his Crew upon an Island, where they continually expected the Waters to overflow them. At the End of ten Days, they saw a Ship, and gave a Signal of Distress: The Ship made towards them. The Captain, now with me, went out with his Boat, and begged for a Passage for himself and Men.—It was granted him on Condition he would leave some of his Crew behind upon the Island; but he would not consent: At length the other Commander agreed to take all. But as soon as ever my Friend put off the Boat to fetch his Men, the Commander made Sail and lest them. All this seemed quite against, but in the End GOD shewed it was intended for the Good of my Friend. After 30 Days Continuance upon the Island, having fitted up the Boat with some …lanks they took out of a Ship which had been lost 5 Months before, Nine of them committed themselves to the Providence of GOD: The others cared not to venture themselves in so small a Boat. Having failed about 140 Leagues, they came at length to Ty…e Island▪ 15 Miles off Savannah. An Inhabitant being near the Place, espied them, and brought them Home with him. I being inform'd what had happen'd, invited the Captain to Breakfast with me; and reminded him of the Goodness of GOD: He then seem'd serious; and coming very providentially in the same Ship with me, when I returned from Georgia, GOD was pleased to work more effectually upon his Soul. And he is now returning with me to Georgia again. Many Offers have been made him to go into the World; but he rather chuses to suffer Affliction with the People of GOD. Most of my other Assistants have left good Places, and are willing freely to spend and be spent for the Good of the Orphan House. Several of them have already found, all I hope are seeking, CHRIST. We seem perfectly settled already; and whatever Storms GOD may permit to attack us without, I hope we shall have a constant Peace within and among ourselves.—Blessed be GOD, I find myself compos'd, and perfectly resign'd; nay, much rejoiced at my present Situation. Oh that I could always have no other Will but GOD's!
Thursday, August 16. Had still greater Reason to rejoice at the Regulation of my Family. Wrote several Letters; and began to have publick Prayers Morning and Evening; and spent above an Hour in exhorting and examining into the Interiours of my Fellow-Travellers, and went to Bed almost forgetful that I had ever been out in the World. Forever blessed be GOD's Holy Name, thro' CHRIST.
Friday, August 17. Had a brisk, but favourable Gale, which carried us directly thro' the Downs.—Sent some Letters on Shore, and rejoiced much in my happy Settlement on board. In the Morning most of my Family were sick; I did not entirely escape: GOD enabled us to give Thanks; and as we came to sail more directly before the Wind, our Disorder gradually went off. Thus is humane Life chequer'd. I bless GOD we are in good Order; And if the Voyage ends as happily as it begins, we shall have abundant Reason to bless GOD for it. Grant this, O LORD, for thy dear Son's sake!
Saturday, August 18. Made but small Advances in our Way, there being but little Wind, and that not very fair, till about 6 this Evening, at which Time it favoured us very much. Was enlighten'd in Reading GOD's Word. Had my Heart warmed with a Sense of his Love and distinguishing Mercies. Was enlarged in Praying several Times with and for my Friends; and was very earnest with GOD to give me Grace to improve my present Retirement to his Glory, the Good of his Church, and the Edification of my own Soul. Perceived also my bodily Strength to encrease, and enjoyed such unspeakable Peace and Tranquility within, that I was often filled with a Holy Confusion, and was obliged to retire to give my Soul vent.—Our LORD, I am sure, sails with us. O infinitely condescending GOD!
Sunday, August 19. Administred the Holy Sacrament early this Morning. Sung an Hymn and continued in Prayer for near an Hour afterwards, in Behalf of ourselves and absent Friends. My Heart was much melted down … enlarged. The Power which was given me was soon communicated to my Companions: They sympathized and wept with me. A Spirit of Love seem'd to be sent forth amongst us. May it increase ever more and more.
Both at Morning and Evening Prayers the Captain and Ships Company attended very orderly. The Remainder of the Day was spent in Reading, Prayer, Singing and Praising GOD. The Ship continued sailing directly before the Wind, at the Rate of about 5 or 6 Miles an Hour:—Most seem'd sensible of, and thankful for the Divine Mercies. Thanks be to GOD for this unspeakable Gift. Amen, Lord JESUS.
Monday, August 20. Fair Wind all Night, by which our Ship was carried to the Bay of Biscay, and went before the Wind at 6 Miles an Hour, almost the whole Day. The Wind being brisk, and a great Swell coming out of the Bay, most of us grew sick, and could do little else but lie down upon our Beds. This rejoiced me much; for I had a glorious Opportunity of spending many Hours in strict Communion with GOD, to ask Pardon for the Defects of my publick Ministry, and to pray for Strength against future Work and Trials. My Soul was frequently dissolved into Tears.—A Sense of my actual Sins and natural Deformity, humbled me exceedingly: And then the Freeness and Riches of GOD's Everlasting Love, broke in with such Light and Power upon my Soul, that I was often awed into Silence, and could not speak any more.—A dear Companion was with me, and help'd me to lament, pray, and give Praise. Oh the Comforts of Religious Friendship! Sanctify it, O LORD, to me, for thy dear Son's sake!
Tuesday, August 21. Contrary Winds all Day, and the Swell continuing, kept all my Family, as well as myself, a little sickish. I conversed with GOD by Prayer and his Word most of the Time, and felt Enlargement of Heart in the Evening. Oh that by Conversing with GOD I may be changed from Glory to Glory, and fitted for whatever he has appointed for me to do or suffer, during my Pilgrimage here on Earth!
Saturday, August 25. Had but little regular Sleep since Tuesday; the Winds continuing contrary:—Last Night it blew a hard Gale. Most of my Family still continues sick;—I waited on them as well as I could, and prayed to GOD to make me willing to become the Servant of ALL. Frequently interceded for absent Friends, and remembred those in particular, who by their kind Presents administred much to our Comfort on Board. Had two or three providential Conferences with the Captain of the Ship, and some of the Men. Read Dr. Guise his Paraphrase on the Evangelist St. Matthew; I think it the best I ever met with. Endeavoured to keep close to GOD, by Watching unto Prayer, for Direction and Help in Time of Need. Frequently was enlighten'd to see the Pride and Selfishness of my Heart; and as frequently long'd for that perfect Liberty wherewith JESUS CHRIST sets his Servants free. The Sea was calmer to Day than before.—My Family grew better, and we spent near two Hours this Evening, in talking of the inward State of our Souls, and preparing for the Reception of the blessed Sacrament. LORD, grant that we all may have on a Wedding Garment.
Sunday August 26. Administred the Holy Sacrament early this Morning.—Spent the Remainder of the Day in Reading, Intercession, &c. GOD was pleased to enlighten me in Reading his holy Word,—and gave me Satisfaction in the Behaviour of those about me. The Wind was still contrary, and the Sea rough, but I had a great Calm and Joy in my Soul. How can I be thankful enough for the glorious Opportunity I now enjoy for Self-Improvement. Let all that is within me, praise GOD's holy Name.
Monday, August 27. Had the Pleasure of seeing three Jamaica Ships come altogether: Two of which spoke to us, and by them we sent News of our Situation to England. Was much assisted in Writing an Account of GOD's Dealings with me in my infant Days, which I have prayed for Strength to do these three Years, but never had Power given me till this Day. Blessed be GOD, the Weather was more calm, the Wind more fair, and my Family better and better; so that I trust we shall get Strength against future Crosses.—As yet this is the most comfortable Voyage I have made. Oh that I may grow in Grace, and then my Happiness will encrease daily!
Tuesday, August 28. Calm Weather and smooth Sea. Was assisted in Reading the holy Scriptures. Rejoiced much in the good Behaviour of those about me. One Part of the Day selt some irregular Passion … in my Heart, but in the Evening … so vi…ited from above that my Soul was quite confounded with a … of the Divine Goodness. This Day … left Savannah. LORD, how … … multiplied thy Mercies upon me … that …! and … th… … … delight … m…, and … this Retirement so sweet and profitable … my Soul, that my only Fear is … should be over …. But my Times are in GOD's Hands. LORD let me have no Will of my own, for thy dear Son's sake!
Friday, August 31. Very light Winds for two Days last pas…, and an entire Calm to Day; but GOD was pleased to send me many inward Strugglings.—I could do Nothing but lay myself down, and offer my Soul up to GOD.—At Night I prayed with strong Cryings and many Tears before all my Family, for them and all those dear People who have recommended themselves to my Prayers.—Afterwards my Soul received Comfort. Oh that these inward … may purge, humble and purify my polluted, … and treacherous Heart! Let all that love me, … Amen.
I observe these inward Trial alway… follow inward Communications: For these two Days … pas… I have been …ch assisted; and lest I should be p…ssed up, and that my Mind may be prepar'd to receive greater Degrees of …ight, GOD out of Love has sent me a Thorn in the Flesh. LORD grant this loving Correction of … may make me truly great! Amen, LORD JESUS, Amen.
Sunday, September 2. Still very light Winds and fair Weather. Weak and … … Body these two Days. Administred the Holy-Sacrament in the Morning. … public Prayers as …: all … very orderly; … something of a …, as I … …, was to be seen thro' the whole Ship. … particularly, in the Evening, into the Interiors of my …. Blessed be GOD, I hope we grow in …, and … more and more, to …ear one ….—Grant we may thus for ever fulfil thy Law, O CHRIST!
Saturday, September 8. Advanc'd about 100 Leagues this Week, in our Way to Philadelphia. … Weather most Part of the Time, which … many of us to be … afresh. … the Account of my Life before mentioned, and was much pressed in Spirit to print it. … bless i… for thy dear Son's sake. … as pungent a Sense of Sin and my inbred Corruptions as ever I had in my Life.—I groan daily to be … at Liberty. Dearest … … …!
Sunday, September 9 … Sacrament, … we were not … to pray for … Friends … Shore. Read … expounded as usual to the Ship's Company in the Morning; but … at his Desire, the … afternoon.—All attended very … chiefly concerning the false Pretences and Education of those who run before they are called of GOD, into the Ministry of the Church of England. Wo be to those that give the Adversaries Leave thus to speak reproach fully of us; it had been better for them if they had never been born.
Saturday, Sept. 15. Had a pleasant Prospect to Day of some of the Western Islands. Gave myself to Reading the Word of GOD, and Prayer, the most Part of this Week. Was visited with frequent inward Trials. Had many Things on my Heart to write, but am as yet withheld. Ended the Week comfortably with my Family, and was exceedingly strengthen'd in reading Professor Frank's Account of the Orphan-house of Glaucha in Hall.—It seems in many Circumstances, to be so exactly parallel to my present Undertaking for the Poor of Georgia, that I trust the Orphan-house about to be erected there, will be carried on and ended with the like Faith and Success. Amen, Amen.
Sunday, Sept. 16. Administred the Sacrament, and had a Love-Feast afterwards. Expounded as usual at Morning and Evening Prayers.—GOD's Power was amongst us. The Day was calm and clear; and tho' we do not go forwards much in our Course, yet I trust we shall every Day be fitted more and more, for those various Turns of Providence which I expect we shall meet with when we come to Shore. Let thy Grace, O LORD, be more than sufficient for us. Amen, LORD JESUS, Amen.
Saturday, Sept. 22. Underwent inexpressible … … Soul for two or three Days, at the Remembrance of my Sins, and the bitter Consequences of them.—Surely my Sorrows were so great, that had not GOD in the Midst of them, comforted my Soul, the Lord would have been insupportable.—All the While, I was assured GOD had forgiven me, but I could not forgive myself, for sinning against so much Light and Love.—Methought I felt something of that which Adam felt when turned out of Paradise: David when he was convicted of his Adultery; and Peter when with Oaths and Curses he thrice denied his Master.—I then, if ever, did truly smite upon my ungrateful Breast, and cry, GOD be merciful to me a Sinner. I eat but very little, and went mourning all the Day long.—At length my LORD looked upon me, and with that Look melted my rocky Heart, and Floods of contrite Tears flowed out before my whole Family; and indeed I wept most bitterly.—When in this Condition, I wonder'd not at Peter's running so slowly to the Sepulchre, when loaded with a Sense of Guilt.—Alas! a Consideration of aggravated Crimes quite took off my Chariot-Wheels, and I drove so exceeding heavily, that was I always to see myself such a Sinner as I am, and as I did then, I should not be able so much as to look up. This latter Part of the Week, blessed be the LORD, he has restored me the Light of his Countenance, and enlarged my Heart to write freely, and praise him with joyful Lips. Our Ship being got Southwardly into the Trade Winds, and the Weather warm. I and some of my Companions lay upon Duck. We had the Holy Sacrament on the Festival of St. Matthew; and tho' we are like to have a long, yet I trust it will be a profitable Voyage to our Souls. …lessed be GOD, that … and correct me, and not give me … Death. It is good for me to b… thus …, for thereby I …et an experimental Knowledge of GOD's Love. Praise the LORD, O my Soul!
Sunday, Sept. 23. Had a sweet Sacrament, and Love Feast afterwards. Was much strengthen'd both in my Morning and Evening Exercises; and selt such Intenseness of Comfort, and Warmth of Heart towards my absent Friends, as made me for a while forget the Anguish I lately felt; but at Night a Sense of my Sins weighed me down again, and I mourned in my Prayers and was vexed.—Alas! how are they mistaken, that go out of the World to avoid Temptations.—I never am so much tempted as when confined on Ship-board:—A Mercy, this, …n GOD, to keep me in Action, and prepare me for future Blessings. Luther says, He never undertook any fresh Work, but he was either visited with a Fit of Sickness, or some strong Temptation. Prayer, Meditation and Temptations are necessary Accomplishments in his Account, for every Minister. May I follow him … …e followed CHRIST!
Saturday, Sept. 29. Administred the Holy Sacrament this Morning. Had fair Winds, and … upon Deck with my Companions the greatest … of the Week. Have been much strengthen'd and assisted in Writing every Day:—An ample Recompence for the Trials of the last Week.—Thus does GOD sometimes humble and sometimes exalt; all his Dispensations perfect the Regenerate Soul. Had little Time for Reading, but this Afternoon was exceedingly strengthened by perusing some Paragraphs out of the Book called … Preacher, written by Dr. Edwards of Cambridge, and extracted by Mr. Jonathan Warn, in his Books entitled, The Church of England Man …, and … the Back-Door to …. There are such noble Testimonies given before that University, of … by Faith alone; the … CHRIST; our having no …, &c. that they deserve to be written in … of Gold. I … more and more the Benefit of leaving Testimonies behind us, concerning these important Points: They not only profit the present, but will also … edify the … Age LORD … thou m… …, that I may … more boldly and explicitly as I ought …o …!
Sunday, September 30. Administred the Holy Sacrament, and had a Love-Feast. Expounded with Power in the Morning to the Sailors, and lent my Cabbin in the Afternoon to the Quaker Preacher.—He … with much Earnestness; but in my Opinion, his Foundation was …. He seem'd to make the Light of natural Conscience, and the Holy Spirit one and the same Thing, and represented CHRIST within, and not CHRIST without, for the Foundation of our Faith:—Whereas the outward Righteousness of JESUS CHRIST imputed to us, I believe, is the sole Foundation and Cause of all the inward Communications which we receive from the Spirit of GOD. Oh that all of that Persuasion were convinced of this.—Till they are, they cannot preach the Truth as it is in JESUS!
Saturday, October 6. Contrary Winds most Part of this Week, and made a very slow Progress towards Philadelphia. Had great Assistance in Writing, and strong Convictions of my past Sins. Held a close Band for some Hours this Evening, with my whole Family, wherein we open'd our Hearts, confessed our Faults to, and pray'd for one another. Do thou, O great and mighty Physician of Souls, hear and heal us.—Amen and Amen.
Sunday, October 7. Administred the Holy Sacrament, had a Love-Feast and expounded as usual. The Wind blowing very fresh, the Ship Men were obliged to attend the Sails, and so could not come to publick Worship. Sailed sometimes 9 Miles an Hour, for which we endeavoured to praise the LORD. Had comfortable Communion with GOD, in interceding for our dear Friends on Shore; and at Night felt such Freedom in my Spirit, from a Load I labour'd under, as caused me to break out into many Thansgivings to GOD. Every Day more and more convinces me, that the LORD will fulfil the Desires of them that fear him: He is the Father of Mercies; He is the GOD of all Consolation; He can create Comfort out of Nothing, and bring Comfort out of the greatest Confusion. This my Soul knoweth right well. O my Soul, be not slack to praise him!
Tuesday, Oct. 9. This Morning our whole Ship's Company was brought to an Allowance of Bread, two Biskets a Day for each Person. Blessed be GOD, thro' the Bounty of Friends in England, as yet my Family have got Provision enough. The LORD in return feed our Benefactors with that Bread which cometh down from Heaven!
Friday, Octob. 12. Kept a Family Fast this Day, that we might afflict ourselves before our GOD; to seek of him a right Way for us and for our little Ones, and for all our Substance: I trust it was such a Fast as the LORD would chuse: His Divine Presence was amongst us, and we had good Reason to hope and believe, that the LORD was entreated of us, Oh that we may find more and more Reason to say so, when we come on shore. I dread going into the World. But wherefore do I fear? LORD, I beli…e, O help my Unbelief, that thou wilt keep me unspotted from it.
Saturday, Octob. 13. Still GOD is pleased to send us contrary Winds, but very warm and pleasant Weather. The Power of Writing has been in a great Measure taken from me; but GOD has been with me in Reading, Expounding and my other Exercises of Devotion. Have experienced some blessed Teachings of his Holy Spirit, in convicting me of the Pride, Sensuality and Blindness of my own Heart, and of the Advantages Satan has gain'd over me by working on them. I have also been more enlighten'd into the Knowledge of that Mystery of Godliness, GOD manifest in the …; and saw more and more of GOD's Goodness in letting me have this Time of Retirement, to search out my Spirit. I would not but have come this Voyage for a Thousand Worlds: It has been sweet and profitable to my Soul: The Length and Continuance of it highly delights me. LORD, I want to kn…w myself and thee. O let not the Hurry of Business which awaits me on shore, prevent my hearing the small still Voice of the Holy Spirit. Enable … as thou did… thy Servant Enoch, whether in publick or private Life, to walk with thee, my GOD.
Sunday, October 14. Felt GOD's Power with us both at Sacrament and publick Worship, Morning and Evening Was enlarged in Intercession, and had reason to believe there was a sweet Communion kept up between us and our Friends on shore.—The Thought of their Prayers often li…ts up my I … when they hang down, and strengthens my feeble Knees: The Prospect of the many Changes and Trials which I must necessarily be exposed to undergo, sometimes fills me with Fear and Trembling; but when I reflect that GOD has stirred up the Hearts of his choicest Servants to pray for me, my Fears vanish: Methinks I could then leap into a burning fiery Furnace, or bear to be thrown into a Den of devouring Lions. LORD make me thus minded in the Hour of Trial! My dear Friends, continue to pray for me, that my Faith fail not.
Saturday, Oct. 20. On Tuesday and Wednesday had the roughest Weather we have yet met with, but the latter Part of the Week has been warm and calm. All our fresh live Stock of every kind is now gone, but thro' the Divine Bounty in raising us Friends, we have not only Food enough for ourselves, but some to spare to the Ship's Company. My being on board is every Day more and more comfortable. I experience fresh Teachings and Communications from GOD's holy Spirit, and have received some remarkable Answers to Prayer, both in respect to myself and Family. We are most of us l…sty as Eagles, and eat our …read with Gladness and Singleness of Heart. The LORD is pleased to fill me out of his Divine Fulness, and to shew me more of the Glories of the Upper World. I can never be thankful enough for this sweet Retreat. How wonderfully does the great and in…itely wise GOD cause every Thing to work together for our Good. I want a Thousand Tongues to praise him. Let every Thing that hath Breath praise the LORD.
Saturday, Octob. 27. Came into Soundings on Sunday last; saw Land on Monday, and were within a few Leagues of Ca…e Hinlop…n, which opens into the Bay whither we are bound; but Providence was pleased to keep us back by contrary Winds. Met with a Jamaica Brigg on Thursday, and had an Opportunity of sending a Packet by her to my dear Friend Mr. N—of New-York. Came within Sight of Land again to Day, but still are kept back. Blessed be GOD, I am quite resigned,—I like my Retirement too well to be fond of leaving it, till the LORD obliges me. Our Provisions are grown pretty scanty; the People are put to an Allowance of about half a Pound of Beef for each in a Day, and we have diminished our own Stock by helping them,—in this we rejoice,—However, blessed be GOD, we have got plenty of Water, and very fair Weather; and my Family I think was never in better Order in respect to their Bodies or Souls. The LORD has been especially gracious unto me, as he always is in Time of any Necessity: He has been pleased to give me great Freedom in Writing, and has vouchsafed me such plentiful Communications from himself, that I have abundant Reason to cry out, Surely GOD is in this Place.
Lo! GOD is here, my Soul adore,
And own how dreadful is this Place!
Let all within thee feel his Power,
In Silence bow before his Face.
To Him let all thy Thoughts arise,
Ceaseless accepted Sacrifice.
Sunday, October 28. Felt more of the Divine Assistance to Day, than I have since I came on Board: I have been engaged in Writing my extempore Sermon on the Marriage of Cana,—The Holy Ghost brought many Things to my Remembrance; and tho' I have well drunk of Divine Comforts since my Retirement already, yet I may say, with the Governor of the Feast, LORD, thou hast kept the good Wine til now. Hasten that Time, O Lord, when I shall drink it n…w in thy heavenly Kingdom.
Monday, Octob. 29. Had a sweet Opportunity offered me to Day, of giving a few Sermons and something out of my little Stock, to a Captain of a Sloop and his Company, who had been driven to great Extremity, Oh how gently does GOD deal with me and mine; how has he considered our Weakness, and not permitted us to fall into great Dangers and Wants. Blessed be his Name for evermore! Amen, Amen.