The Fathers Tears over his Daughters Remains, Diary 1
(1) Her Mercies and Deliverances, Afflictions and S…rrows.
Upon the Receipt of any Favour 'tis common for her to write thus,— What ſhall I render to the Lord for all his Benefits, and for this Benefit! O that I could live more to the Honour of God, than ever I have yet done! I will bleſs the Lord while I live, and ſing Praiſes to him while I have any Being! May I never forget the Mercy.
In the Cloſe of Years, and alſo on her Birth Days, ſhe enumerates God's Favours Temporal and Spiritual unto her; and is ſometimes very particular, and always full in her grateful Acknowlegements.
She writes more or leſs upon the Births of all her Children, and of the Circumſtances of her Travails; and never forgets to ſing of Mercy, whatſoever Judgment and Affliction was mix'd with it.
On her firſt Child, among many other Things ſhe writes,— It pleaſed God of his infinite Mercy to command a great Deliverance for me.—Bleſſed be his Name! Tho' my Womb became as it were a Tomb to my Infant, yet will I not forget his wonderful Appearing for me, when my Senſes were lock'd up, and ſaving me alive—She knew nothing of her Delivery till two Days after it.
There is but a ſhort Record of the Birth and Death of her ſecond Child (Clark Thomas) who liv'd Eleven Days. She pray'd for a Name better than of Sons and Daughters. But all the Family remember the many Tears of Joy and Thankfulneſs ſhe ſhed at the Preſentation of this Child to God in holy Baptiſm, and her more than common Compoſure of Mind and Quietneſs at it's Death and Funeral.
On this Occaſion I find her Father writing to her, I thank God who has carried you, my dear Child, with ſo much Courage and Strength of Grace, thro' the Pains of bearing, and now of burying your Infant. He help'd you to offer up your Son to him in Baptiſm with ſo many Tears, and now to reſign and commit it to the Grave with ſo few. May all Supplies of Grace be given in unto you from time to time, and the Power of it be always exhibited by you to the Glory of your Saviour, who has given you his ſtrong Conſolations againſt the Hour you have been call'd to paſs thro'.
On the Birth of her ſurviving Son, ſhe not only bleſſes God, but receives him thankfully as an Anſwer of many Prayers, and writes, For this Child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my Petition which I asked of him: Therefore my Deſire is that my Samuel be lent to the Lord, and be employ'd by Him in his Service in his Church. Lord do thou graciouſly accept of him, and furniſh him, and let him do more and better for Thee than any of his Progenitors.
May God graciouſly anſwer the Prayers and Deſires of his Handmaid, and our little Son be greatly Affected and Influenc'd, when he comes to read and underſtand this Paragraph.
At another Time when ſhe was delivered of a Son alone, the Surprize and Diſtreſs of which hazardous Minute every one may eaſily think of; ſhe writes,
Bleſſed be God, who has appear'd for me in ſuch an Hour of Diſtreſs and Danger! I can never eno' admire the Goodneſs and Mercy and Power of God in compoſing me, and inſpiring me with Courage and Conduct at this Time. It ſhall be ſaid, In the Mount of the Lord it ſhall be ſeen!—No humane Help was nigh, the Lord was my Helper, and that right early. O that I may ever be impreſs'd with a deep Senſe of this Mercy.
There is a Poem alſo compoſed by her on ſome of theſe Occaſions, and many other Paſſages in her Diary, wherein ſhe declares ſhe had laid hold on the Covenant for her Self and for her Children; and her Faith concerning them, and Hopes to meet the… …t the Right Hand of Chriſt another Da…
The Poem I here inſert.
PHoebus has thrice his Yearly Circuit run,
The Winter's over, and the Summer's done;
Since that bright Day on which our Hands were join'd,
And to Philander I my All reſign'd.
Thrice in my Womb I've found the pleaſing Strife,
In the firſt Struggles of my Infants Life:
But O how ſoon by Heaven I'm call'd to mourn,
While from my Womb a lifeleſs Babe is torn?
Born to the Grave 'ere it had ſeen the Light,
Or with one Smile had chear'd my longing Sight.
Again in Travail-Pains my Nerves are wreck'd,
My Eye-balls ſtart, my Heart-ſtrings almoſt crack'd;
Now I forget my Pains, and now I preſs
Philander's Image to my panting Breaſt.
Ten Days I hold him in my joyful Arms,
And feaſt my Eyes upon his Infant Charms.
But then the King of Terrors does advance
To pierce it's Boſom with his Iron Lance.
It's Soul releas'd, upward it takes it's Flight,
Oh never more below to bleſs my Sight!
Farewell ſweet Babes I hope to meet above,
And there with you Sing the Redeemer's Love.
And now O gracious Saviour lend thine Ear,
To this my earneſt Cry and humble Prayer,
That when the Hour arrives with painful Throws,
Which ſhall my Burden to the World diſcloſe;
I may Deliverance have, and joy to ſee
A living Child, to Dedicate to Thee.
At other Times ſhe paſs'd thro' a great deal of Bodily Weakneſs, in the exerciſe of ſtrong Faith and Patience, and humble Submiſſion to the Will of God. The Times and Turns of her Illneſſes ſhe records, with ſuitable Prayers for Wiſdom and Grace: Particularly, "That ſhe may be ever in an actual as well as habitual Preparation for Death. "Let my Change be ſafe, and (by the will of God) Joyful.
One of the firſt Things I find her ſetting about after a Recovery from Sickneſs, is the Renewal of the Covenant, and laying her Self under freſh Obligations to conform her Life to the Rules of the Goſpel, and the Pattern of Jeſus Chriſt. She has ſaid it over and over and written it, It is good for me that I have been afflicted: I devote my ſpar'd Life and reviv'd Health to the Service and Glory of my great Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier.