The Honor and Happiness of the Virtuous Woman, Text
The Honour and Happineſs OF THE Vertuous Woman.
PROVERBS XXXI. 28.
Her Children ariſe up, and call her bleſſed; her Huſband alſo, and he praiſeth her.
THIS Chapter is an Appendix to the Proverbs of Solomon. They are the Words of King Lemuel, the Prophecy that his Mother taught him. Interpreters are generally of Opinion, that Lemuel is no other than Solomon himſelf. At leaſt, like Solomon, he was a Wiſe and Religious King, under the Inſpiration and Direction of GOD in what is here wrote. He had likewiſe a Religious and Wiſe Mother, who took great Care to Inſtruct and Charge Him from GOD; as Solomon was tender and Only-beloved in the ſight of his Mother. The Gracious Mother of Lemuel was Inſpir'd of GOD in theſe Admonitions which She gave to her Son; and ſo has the Honour to ſtand on Record here as a Propheteſs as well as a Princeſs. She firſt Inſtructs the Prince her Son in his Duty, how to behave himſelf as becomes his high Place and Dignity; and then ſhe Inſtructs her Dau'ters what they ſhould be; more eſpecially in the Relation of Wives. Or it may be ſhe gave this Deſcription of a VERTUOUS WOMAN to the Prince her Son, as a Direction to him in the Choice of a Wiſe.
SO then a Wiſe Inſpired WOMAN is our Teacher to Day, and her happy Son preſerves her Wiſe Sayings in Writing. Her Inſtructions will be the more Acceptable and Powerful I hope to her Sex, and we all muſt with equal Reverence hear the HOLY GHOST ſpeaking to us, as when His Inſpirations reſted on the Holy Men of GOD.
IN ſhort, this Holy Mother,
1. DECLARES the Price and Rarity of the Vertuous Woman, whom ſhe deſcribes, v. 10.
2. SHE gives her Character in many Particulars, in the following Verſes; her Chaſtity and Modeſty, Diligence and Frugality, Diſcretion and Prudence, and in all her Piety and Conſcientiouſneſs.
3. SHE tells the Felicities of this Excellent Perſon; what a Bleſſing ſhe is to her Husband, what a Confidence he puts in her; how ſhe does him Honour, and is Valued and Eſteemed by him: And in particular in the Words of my Text, How her Children riſe up and call her Bleſſed, &c.
IT is ſuppoſed here, that ſhe have a Huſband, and have Children. It is a Gracious Wife & a Mother in Iſrael, that is ſpoken of. For there may be the ſame Excellent Women in neither of theſe Relations, and equally is ſhe then Accepted of GOD, and Venerable among His People.
MOREOVER, It is ſuppoſed, that both the Husband and the Children be in ſome meaſure Good as ſhe is. She will not elſe be ſo Bleſſed in their Eyes; nor Praiſed by them for her Piety and Excellencies. Tho' indeed the Wicked are often forc'd to Praiſe and call them Bleſſed, whom they do not Imitate and learn of.
BUT let us ſuppoſe the beſt here; I mean that the whole Family be Wiſe and Vertuous: Let us ſuppoſe the Vertuous Wife happy in a Gracious and Wiſe Husband, that knows how to Prize and Praiſe her; and happy in Wiſe and Pious Children, who underſtand the Bleſſing they have, or have had, in ſuch a Mother. And that they may the better do ſo, who are bleſſed with ſuch a Relative, I will enlarge a little in opening the ſeveral Parts of the Text.
I. HER Children riſe up. And this may ſignify and import,
1. THE Reverence that her Children bear to her, & are ever ready to expreſs in all their Carriage towards her, in all their Deportment and Behaviour in her Preſence, in all their Words and Actions before her. They Honour her in their Hearts, and do her Honour always; ſuch as her Superiour Relation to them, her Age, her Wiſdom and Gravity, her Authority by Nature, her Benefits to them, and all her Perſenal Excellencies do command from them. They do this from Inclination and Love, and alſo from Principle and a ſenſe of Duty. Even Nature teaches them, and the Law of God requires it of them, for it is the firſt Commandment with Promiſe, Honour thy Father and thy Mother. In Obedience therefore unto GOD, Pious Children will Reverence and riſe up before their Parents, and it is the leaſt external Act of Filial Reſpect, in the Letter of the Text, that Children can think due unto their Parents. They will riſe up when their Parents come into the Room where they are, to bow down to them. They will riſe up before them when they ſpeak, to hear their Wiſdom, to receive their Will, and in order to the doing what they require or direct. Eſpecially Parents that are Exemplary for Wiſdom, Piety, and the good Government of their Houſholds, are worthy of double Honours. Solomon, tho' he were a King, yet when his Mother came into his Preſence, he roſe up to meet her, and bowed himſelf unto her, and ſat down upon his Throne, and cauſed a ſeat to be ſet for the Kings Mother, and ſhe ſat on his right hand, 1 Kings 2.19. Be we grown up, and grown Great, yet we are never too big to riſe up and bow down to our Parents And not only do we at Mens Eſtate owe this unto our Fathers, if they are yet alive, but alſo to our Aged Mothers; remembring how they have born us in the Womb and from the Womb, their many Tender Cares for us, and Good Offices to us from our Infancy. He is a Fooliſh Son (ſays Solomon) that deſpiſeth his Mother: And in the Wiſdom of GOD he charges us not to deſpiſe her when ſhe is Old; which too many ſcornful and inſolent Young People are apt to do; they make light of what the Old Woman ſays, tho' ſhe warns them in the Wiſdom of GOD, Prov. 23.22. We are bid to riſe up before the hoary Head, & to honour the Face of the … Man. Much more ſhou'd we do this to our Parents in their Age. But this is the firſt Senſe, her Children riſe up in Reverence in her Preſence.
2. HER Children riſe, i. e. Grow up in her ſight; ſay ſome. Her Reward, her Joy and her Crown She ſees them as Olive Plants growing round her Table and her Houſe. It may be ſhe is ſo happy as to have her Quiver full of them; and they are riſing up about her to be her Defence in times to come, as well as her preſent Ornament & Guard, that ſhe may ſpeak even with the Enemy in the Gate, by them Fighting for her. Or it may be ſhe ſees her Childrens Children, and Peace upon Iſrael. Her Sons and her Sons Sons add to the Numbers of Iſrael and their Valiant Men, which are the Security and Safeguard of the Nation. Her Sons are as Plants grown up in their Touth, her Daughters as corner Stones, poliſhed after the ſimilitude of a Palace. Plants, not Weeds. Grown up, not Withered and Blaſted, but likely to bring forth Fruit in their Day. Families are Connected alſo by the Daughters, as the parts of a fine Building are by the Corner Stones: And as the Poliſhed Stones of a Palace, ſo are they in the Families united by them, when they are Graceful and Beauteous in Body & Mind.
3. HER Children riſe up in her place, & fill it after her Deceaſe. The Excellent Mother Dies it may be as they are Growing up, but her Children, and eſpecially her Daughters, partaking of her Excellent Spirit ſoon come to Shine as ſhe once did. The Gracious Parent Revives in her Offspring; her Graces are ſeen in them, they tread in her Steps, exhibit her Vertues, as the Branches agree unto the Stock. They are Grave and Vertuous, Meek and Humble, Benevolent and Courteous, Devout and Gracious, full of all Goodneſs; ſo as to bring the Deceaſed Mother to the Minds of them that knew her, and now ſee the Chaſte Converſation of her Daughters. Children worthy of ſuch a Parent, and worthy to bear her Name, and fill up her Place; whoſe Daughters they are ſo long as they do well; but if otherwiſe, no Body would drink that they came of her, or ever belong'd to her. The Mother will never Die, we ſay, ſo long as theſe live; they are the living Monument that bear the Inſcription of her Vertues and Praiſes: They Tranſcribe them in their own Lives.
4. HER Children riſe up—, It notes, (ſays one and another of our Expoſitors) that they ſet themſelves purpoſely & induſtriouſly to what follows; i. e. To Praiſe & Bleſs her. They Seriouſly apply themſelves to the Work of ſetting forth her Praiſes, and doing her Honour. So Men riſe up, when they ſet themſelves about any Work which they are Intent and Earneſt upon. The Wiſe Children of Excellent Parents ſhou'd have their Hearts Intent and Earneſt upon this, to do Honour to their Names, and ſhew forth their Vertues. This is a good and pleaſant Work which they are always ready to riſe up & engage in.
BUT ſo much for the firſt thing; Her Children riſe up—.
II. IT follows, And call her Bleſſed. They have been the conſtant Eye witneſſes of her whole Carriage; they have ſeen her Exemplary life, her perſonal Excellencies, and happily experienced her Relative Goodneſs in a thouſand Inſtances; and are under ſo many Obligations to call her Bleſſed.
THERE is a Generation indeed that curſeth their Father, & doth not bleſs their Mother, Prov. 30.11. But it is not this ſordid, graceleſs, profane and unnatural Crew, that I have now to do with; ſave only as they ſtand condemned & detected by our Doctrine. And by the way Obſerve, that the Generation that do not bleſs their Mother, are little better, if not the very ſame, with them that curſe their Father. Let none of us be of this Seed of the Serpent, this Generation of Vipers. How unlike they are the Vertuous Children of the Vertuous Woman in our Text? Her Children riſe up & call her Bleſſed.
THAt is,
1. SUCH is the Inward Eſteem, Affection & Gratitude of their Souls towards her, that they inwardly & ſecrely bleſs her in their hearts, as often as they ſee her or think of her. As often as they riſe up in her Preſence, this is the language of their hearts concerning her and toward her. O what a bleſſed Woman is She in her Self! (ſays their Judicious Eſteem) What a bleſſing has She been to us! What a bleſſing in the World! How much are we and others the better for her! How happy her Family, how happy her Friends and Nei'bours in her! and how happy She in her ſelf in being what She is Were you within her gracious Children you would ſee and hear this in their retired tho'ts and real ſentiments; Lord, what a Bleſſing have we in ſuch a Parent!
2. WHEN ever they Speak of her, it is with high Reverence & Honour. In ſo many Words they call her Bleſſed. They do not Name her but with the utmoſt reſpect. When they have occaſion to commend her behind her back, then they utter their High Opinion and Eſteem of her. They can't bear that any ſhould Speak evil of her. It is to them as if one Spake againſt the Light, or threw dirt in their Eyes, and next to the Blaſpheming God in their hearing. With the Mouth bleſs we God, and with the Mouth we bleſs Men; and ſome are ſo Excellent Perſons that when the Eye ſees'em and the Ear hears them, the Mouth muſt needs bleſs them.
3. THEIR whole Deportment before & toward Her ſpeak the Sentiments of their hearts concerning her. And this is more than all words. You may ſee it in their Eyes, which bear witneſs to her. There the Eſteem of the Soul ſits viſible & ſhines out. You may ſee by their whole Carriage and Behaviour what their Veneration is: with what delight they hear her Speak, with what Pleaſure they receive her Will; how they liſten to her Wiſdom, how they ſubmit reverently to her rebukes, with what Joy they ſee her ſmile on them. So when Job went to the Gate thro' the City, when he prepared his Seat in the Street, the young men-ſaw him & hid themſelves, the aged aroſe & ſtood up; the Princes refrained Talking, & the Nobles held their peace: Unto him they gave ear & waited, & kept ſilence at his counſel; if he laughed on'em they believed it not, &c. That is to ſay, They did by every external ſign Expreſs the high Reverence which in their Souls they bare him. And this was indeed to bear witneſs to him, and more than in words to call him bleſſed.
4. HER Children riſe up & call her Bleſſed, It may mean that they are Themſelves her beſt Praiſe & Commendation. Their own Vertues, and verrous Deeds praiſe their Parent. Their Good Manners, their good Breeding, their Modeſty and Humility, Sobriety, Charity & Godlineſs; Their good Converſation in Chriſt, as becomes the Goſpel; theſe declare the Pains ſhe took in their Education, the Example ſhe gave them, the Inſtructions and Charges they had from her, her Prayers and Vows for them. See the bleſſed Fruit of her Fidelity, the Travel of her Soul for theirs, to ſee Chriſt formed in them! So when a Woman ſaw the Grace of God in our SAVIOUR, and heard his Divine Diſcourſes, ſhe bleſſed the Womb that bare him, and the Paps that he had ſucked. And bleſſed indeed the Womb and the Breaſts are, where in a good Senſe Partus ſequitur ventrem, and the Excellent Children, do but exhibit the Vertues and Graces of a good Mother. Bleſſed the Mother that bears and brings up Children for Chriſt, and they live to Him as ſhe has taught them. So the Graces of Children do ſometimes call to our Minds the Graces of Parents even after their Deceaſe; 2 Tim. 1.5. When I call to remembrance the unfeigned Faith that is in thee; which dwelt firſt in thy Grandmother Lois, and in thy Mother Eunice, and I am perſwaded that in thee alſo.
5. HER Children riſe up & bleſs God for her. In their Secret Devotions they do ſo daily, and in the Family Prayers, and often in a Day may they do ſo in their Secret Ejaculations, and the upliftings of their Soul to God, in Company or out of Company, in the Parents Preſence and while ſhe is Speaking, or otherwiſe. A Parent is to her Children what God makes her to be; and a Gracious Parent is a ſingular Gift and Bleſſing of God unto a Family of Children; wherefore to be ſure every Gracious Child will Bleſs and Praiſe God for ſuch a Parent; and in doing that they call her Bleſſed. What we bleſs God for, owning it to have been a Bleſſing to us, we do abundantly call Bleſſed.
6. HER Children ever Pray for her; bleſs her, and ask the Bleſſings of Heaven on her. So ſhe is ever Bleſſing her Children, in her Prayers for them; in which ſhe has remembrance of them Day and Night, without ceaſing. And thus Children may bleſs their Parents, and Inferiours their Superiors, by Praying for them, as well as Bleſſing God for them. For have we not all one Father? And has not one God created us? And are not all Souls alike His? The Souls of Parents and the Souls of Children? And as Parents can't do their Duty to their Children without commending them to the Grace and Bleſſing of God in their Daily Prayers, as Job and David bleſs'd their Houſes; So neither can Children render the Love and Reverence due to their Parents, without Praying for them Daily. For Parents do as much need God's Bleſſing on them as their Children do; and Children therefore ought to implore God's Bleſſing on their Father and Mother, as much as Parents ought to ask it for their Children. And that Child never will Devoutly and aright riſe up and call his Parent Bleſſed, who does not Beg of God in Solemn Prayer, that HE would bleſs them: Whoſe Bleſſing it is that makes us Bleſſings.
7. THE Memory of the Gracious Mother is Bleſſed with her Children after her Deceaſe. They call her Bleſſed after ſhe is Dead. The Memory of the Juſt is Bleſſed, Prov. 107. Eſpecially ought it to be ſo to their Surviving Relatives. Then they freely riſe up and ſpeak what they would not do ſo freely when their Relative was alive. As when Dorcas was laid out, they ſtood about her Weeping; telling her good Deeds, and rehearſing one Excellency and another that made her lov'd and deſir'd in her Life. 'Tis a Bleſſing to leave a bleſſed Name behind one. Bleſſings come upon the Head of the Juſt after they are laid in the Grave, out of Sight and out of Hearing. A bleſſed Parent thou wert to me, may the good Child devoutly ſay; a ſingular Bleſſing had I in Her; her Bleſſed Counſels and Inſtructions, her Bleſſed and Holy Walk with God, ſhall never be forgotten by me.
8. And Laſtly, HER Pious Children Comfort themſelves that ſhe is among the Bleſſed. And indeed on this ſide Death we muſt call no One Bleſſed. They that are Holy and ſo Happy after Death, they are the Bleſſed. There is a State of Future and Eternal Bleſſedneſs, into which the Spirits of the Juſt do go: "Being made perfect in Holineſs they do immediately paſs into Glory. Rev. 14.13. Bleſſed are the Dead which die in the Lord. They that are fallen Aſleep in Chriſt are unſpeakably, infinitely, unchangeably and Eternally Bleſſed. They are the Bleſſed of the Father: Mat. 25.34. Come ye bleſſed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom. The Mouth of Chirſt will pronounce them Bleſſed, and whom he bleſſes are Bleſſed indeed. They are Bleſſed in Him and with Him for ever; in His Preſence, Love and Favour; and in the full Enjoyment of Him unto all Eternity. They are gone to a Bleſſed Place, the Paradiſe of God; to Bleſſed Company, the Holy Angels; and are employed in Bleſſed Work, the Praiſes of God for ever and ever. And this is the beſt Senſe of all wherein the Children of a Holy Parent Deceaſed can call her Bleſſed; they riſe up and wipe away their Tears with this refreſhing Thought,—My Gracious Parent is among the Bleſſed, that ſee the Face of God; Perfectly, Immenſely, Everlaſtingly Bleſſed. Thus they call her Bleſſed.
III. HER Husband alſo & he Praiſeth her. Her Husband: He the Happy Man in her Life; He the moſt Afflicted in her Death; He the moſt Obliged to do her Juſtice and Honour; He that beſt knew her Worth and how to Praiſe her; He whoſe Praiſes ſhe wou'd moſt deſire and prefer; He whoſe Eſteem and Teſtimony is her greateſt Honour. He Praiſeth her: Becauſe ſhe highly Deſerves it of him; it is but a Tribute Due to her Memory: Had ſhe been an ill Wife, or an undeſerving One, he wou'd have Wept ſilently over her: For Vertuous Praiſe is an Enemy to Falſhood or Flattery.
HER Husband alſo: It is ſuppoſed that he be a good One; No Moroſe Perſon; no Careleſs, Negligent and Inobſervant Man. He is Obliging eno' to beſtow Praiſes where they are due, and Wiſe eno' to know when he has received a Good Thing of the LORD.
HE Praiſeth her; ſcil. In the following Words, v 29. Many Dau'ters have done Vertuouſly, but thou excelleſt them all. He gives her juſtly the Preference to all others, knowing more of her Goodneſs and Excellency than of any other.
HER Husband alſo & he praiſeth her. It is no Indecency at all, but a laudable Inſtance of Conjugal Love for Husbands and Wives to give one another their due Praiſes. But then they ſhou'd be very Diſcreet in it: Reſerv'd, Cautious, Prudent; knowing when, where, to whom, and on what Occaſion to do it. Wiſdom is neceſſary to Direct and to Reſtrain. Wiſe Conſorts will … Luſcious & Fooliſh in their Praiſes of one another; Not every where, in all Companies, on the moſt trivial Occaſion, be telling of one anothers Excellencies. We ſhou'd not ordinarily make our ſelves not our own Things the Subject of our Converſation. Prov. 27.2. Let another man praiſe thee and not thy own mouth, a ſtranger & not thy own lips. This Self-Admiration is a ſickly Thing. Lock not every one to his own things. Leaſt of all in beſtowing our Praiſes. Theſe we muſt beſtow in Publick on our Neighbour.
NOT but that a Husband may Prudently eno' praiſe the Conduct of his Wife, and let her know his Eſteem for her; and where he can be Free and in a way of Confidence he may declare it to others.
A GOOD Wife ſhou'd be always ſpoken well of; that's the leaſt that can be due to her. She ought to be convinced of her Husbands Eſteem for her. In Private he may well and often declare it to her; Not to puff up: No, her Piety and Vertue, her Wiſdom and Diſcretion, her Conduct and Fidelity, her Care and Diligence, her Humility and Modeſty are the Praiſe. w. 30. Favour is deceitful & Beauty is vain, but a Woman that feareth the Lord ſhe ſhall he praiſed.
ON ſome particular Occaſions there may be ſpecial Reaſons for Praiſe; and for ſome particular Excellency One Perſon may merit Praiſe, and Another for another. v. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own Works Praiſe her in the Gates.
TO have done, When ſhe is Dead he may give her her Character, his Mouth may be then opened in her Commendation. His Tears will utter his Eſteem and Value for her, his great Affection and Delight in her. His Affliction in her Death is a much more Subſtantial Praiſing her, however ſilent his deep Grief may be, than any Words can reach. So Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her, Gen. 23.2.
THE Decent continuance of his Mourning will be one way of Praiſing her. He will not eaſily or ſoon Forget her, will not be in haſte to Marry again, for it is not eaſy to find where to fill her Place. He will tell her Praiſes to her Children when ſhe is in her Grave, that they may retain her in mind and honour her Memory; that they may learn of her and be like her.
USE. AND thus I have gone thro' the Text in a very free & copious Paraphraſe upon it: And what has been ſaid wou'd teach us,
I. To Infer the Invaluable Bleſſing of having Dear & Lovely, Wife & Faithful, Vertuous & Gracious Relatives. Our preſent Comfort and Happineſs does very much depend upon it, and our Everlaſting Well-Being is very much promoted by it. What a Bleſſing is a good Conſort, a good Father or Mother, a good Child, and ſo a good Brother or Siſter? Yea, a good Servant in a Family is an unſpeakable Benefit and Comfort; and ſo is a good Maſter or Miſtreſs unto. Servant. He that finds one or other of theſe Mercies finds much Good, and has obtained Favour of the Lord. How are our Worldly Cares eaſed, our Burdens lightned, our Lives ſweetnea and made Pleaſant by theſe Gifts of God.
II. LET us be Excited & Exhorted therefore to be very Good in our reſpective Relations; that we may be Bleſſings while we Live, & that we may leave a bleſſed Name behind us when we Die. Let us ſo live together as Heirs of Grace as to conſtrain the Eſteem, and endeared Affection of our dear Relatives, to be an Honour to them, as well as a Comfort, their Joy and their Crown; to leave a fragrant and precious Name behind us that may live with them that Survive, and have their Praiſes, as long as they ſhall continue after us.
FOR Inſtance, What a Price ſhou'd a Mother put upon the Reverence of her Children, and the Praiſes of her Husband? How Deſirable and truly Valuable is it for her to be a Crown to her Husband, and an Honour to her Poſterity? If a Perſon be not deſolate of all Greatneſs & Goodneſs of Spirit, & Senſe of Honour and Reputation, this alone will appear a worthy and ſufficient Motive to do Vertuouſly.
BUT not to confine my ſelf to One Relation only,
1. LET Parents be excited to Educate and Inſtruct well their Children; to give them good Examples, & to treat them with Wiſdom and Tenderneſs, ſo as to form them for Vertue (under the Bleſſing of God) & to command their Reverence & Affection to the utmoſt. It is not to be expreſſed what Honours and Comforts they may then be to you; and this is the way to make them Honour you, to render you Dear & Venerable to them for Ever. Prov. 20.7. Ajuſt Man walketh in his Integrity, his Children are bleſſed after him. We ſhou'd every one of us be Emulous of that Character, 1 Tim. 3.4. One that ruleth his own houſe well, having his Children in Subjection with all Gravity. By this means Bathſheba commanded the high Reverence of her Son Solomon, and ſaw him excel in Wiſdom under the peculiar Favour of God to him.
2. LET Children be Exhorted to honour their Wiſe & Gracious Parents, which is the firſt Commandment with Promiſe, that their Lives may be long and happy on the Earth. CHILDREN, Love your Parents, Reverence, Obey and Learn of them now; that you may be an Honour and Comfort to them hereaſter. Prov. 1.8. My Son, hear the Inſtruction of thy Father, & forſake not the Law of thy Mother; for they ſhall be an Ornament of Grace unto thy Head, & Chains about thy Neck. This is to be to their Parents what the Church is to Chriſt: My Dove, my Undefiled is but One, ſhe is the only One of her Mother, the choice One of her that bare her; the Dau'ters ſaw her & bleſſed her, the Queens & the Concubines & they praiſed her. There are ill Parents and ill Children. Parents like the Mother of Ahaziah, who was his Counſeller to do wickedly; and Children that belong to Agurs wicked Crew, Prov. 30.11. There is a Generation that curſeth their Father, & doth not bleſs their Mother. Vicious Parents are a Diſhonour to their Children, and no wonder their Children left to themſelves bring them to further Shame. But you that have Vertuous and Tender Parents, ſee that you Requite them by being Vertuous and Obedient to them, that you Reverence them in your Hearts, and live ſo as to Honour them in your Lives.
3. LET the Wife ſee that ſhe do her Duty to her Husband, that ſhe may merit & have the high Reward of his Eſteem and juſt Praiſes. This ſeek, after the Honour that cometh from above, yea as a part thereof. It was the wiſe Perſian Decree of old, That all Wives ſhall give to their Husbands Honour, both great & ſmall, Eſth. 1.20. But we have a greater and more Immutable Law than that of the Medes and Perſians, even CHRIST's: Let the Wiſe ſee that ſhe reverence her Husband; Wives, ſubmit your ſelves unto your own Husbands as unto the Lord. &c. Our Wives ſhou'd be Ambitious of that Character, 1 Tim. 3.11. Even ſo muſt their Wives be Grave, not Slanderers, Sober, Faithful in all things. This is the way for them to bear away the Bleſſing of their Children, and the Praiſes of their Husbands.
4. LET the Husband be juſt unto his Vertuous, Prudent and Faithful Wife, to Honour, Eſteem and Praiſe her. An Excellent Wife deſerves a ſingular Reſpect, and the moſt Honourable Treatment in the World. The Expreſſions of the Love of Chriſt to His Church in the Book of Canticles is the beſt Account how the Husband ought to regard her and treat her. And indeed this is the Rule which Chriſt has given to the Chriſtian Husband: Eph. 5.25. Husbands, love your Wives, even as Chriſt alſo loved the Church, and gave himſelf for it; that he might Sanctifie it and preſent it Glorious. What a Word is this? As the Holy Soul, and as the Purchaſed Church is Fair and Lovely in the Eyes of GOD, and Dignified by Him; ſo let the deſerving Wife be Eſteemed by her happy Spouſe.
LET us therefore be Excited to be very Good in our Relations, that we may bear away ſo much honour & praiſe from our Obliged Correlates. Which was the Second Uſe.
III. THE laſt USE may be in a word or two of Counſel & Direction, proper to the preſent Diſcourſe.
1. LET them that are happy in their Relatives, in their Conſorts or Children, in their Parents, &c. be very thankful to GOD who has choſen ſo graciouſly for them, & Serve Him with the more Alacrity & Chearfulneſs, eſpecially in the diſcharge of the Duties of their reſpective Relations. If there be any Vertue, if there be any Praiſe, think of it in your Relatives, obſerve it, but do not aſcribe it to them, nor love them only for it; but give God the Glory of it, receive from Him, improve it for Him, and love Him the Giver. Every Creature is what God makes it, and what He makes it to us. He gave the Excellencies which thy dear Relation is Adoin'd with, and then He gave the Perſon to thee. So He form'd Eve for Adam, and gave to them their Gracious Abel and Seth. Haſt thou then obtain'd favour of the LORD, give Him the thanks. Prov. 19.14. A Prudent Wife is of the Lord. His gracious Gift to thee, His Kind and Merciful Care of thee, His fatherly Providence directing thy Choice and proſpering thy pure Deſire; Wherefore bleſs Him for it. So again, Children are an Heritage of the Lord, & the fruit of the Womb is his Reward, Pſal. 117.3. They are the Children which God hath graciouſly given thy Servant; ſaid Jacob concerning his Sons. We ſhould never look upon our good and pleaſant Relations but our hearts ſhould be full of holy Gratitude to God for them. And our Gratitude to God on this account ſhould give us Alacrity & Chearfulneſs in our whole Converſation. As our cares are leſſened and our lives ſweetned, ſo let our hearts be Enlarged & liſt up in the way of our Duty. Eccl. 97, 8, 9, 10. Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, & drink thy wine with a merry heart, for God now accepteth thy works. Let thy garments be always white, & let thy head lack no oyntment. Live joyfully with the Wife whom thou loveſt, all the dayes of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the ſun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, & in thy labour which thou takeſt under the ſun. Whatſoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might: for there is no work, nor device, nor knowlege, nor wiſdom in the grave, whither thou goeſt.
2. LET us bear humbly & improve fruitfully the want or the loſs of ſuch a Bleſſing as we have been Meditating. The Wife and the Mother which the Text ſpeaks of does not fall to every ones Lot. Sometimes the Wiſe & Vertuous themſelves are ill-match'd and related. Solomon tells of the Contentions that are a continual dropping, & of the angry & brawling woman, whom one had better dwell in the wilderneſs than live with. If the Mother be leud, prophane, a ſcold, fierce, cruel; if ſhe be fooliſh, fond, indulgent, ignorant, careleſs, laviſh, negligent, idle, good for nothing: This is a Grief and muſt be born, heavily eno'. It is a living Sorrow, and a ſore Rebuke from God, which calls to Humiliation. Her Children cannot riſe up and call her Bleſſed, nor is it lawful for the Husband to Praiſe. Love and Duty muſt ſilently cover a multitude of Faults, and they muſt take up their Craſs daily. And happy the Perſon in that caſe who has learnt this Leſſon.
BUT then there are Others who have been Bleſſed with ſuch Excellent Relatives whom they could not but Eſteem and Praiſe, Rejoyce in, and Bleſs God for; but God takes them away, they Dye, we are Bereaved and call'd to Mourning and Weeping under the Blow of Gods Hand, whereby He takes away the deſire of our Eyes with a Stroke. This alſo we muſt deſire humbly to bear, fruitfully to improve, and get the Spiritual Good of.
How often are Pious Children thus Bereaved of their Parents, and bowed down heavily, Mourning for their Mother? How often are Happy Conſorts rent by Death from one anothers Arms, and the Surviver left among the moſt Afflicted & Deſolate. Here moderate your Mourning, and Reſign to God what He gave and what He takes. Shall we receive Good from the Hand of the Lord? and ſhall we not receive Evil? The Lord gave & the Lord hath taken away, & Bleſſed be the Name of the Lord.
LET the CHILDREN riſe up & bleſs the Memory of their Deceaſed Mother, and Bleſs God who gave them ſuch a Mother, & ſpared her ſo long to them; and now commit themſelves to God as their Father, beſeeching Him to Bleſs them, and make them His Children.
LET the HUSBAND alſo now rehearſe the Vertues of his Deceaſed CONSORT; let him (if he can) give her the deſerved Praiſes of her Modeſty and Chaſtity, of her Humility and Meekneſs, of her Prudence and Wiſdom, of her Sweet Temper and Good Nature, of her Diligence and Frugality, her Care of her Family and wiſe Education of her Children; and above all of her Piety and Devotion toward God: Let him tell how ſafely his heart truſted in her, how much Good ſhe has done him and no Evil all the Dayes of his Life; how ſhe lookt to the wayes of her Houſhold, & did not eat the Bread of Idleneſs; how ſhe opened her mouth with wiſdom, and in her tongue was the Law of kindneſs; how ſhe ſtretched out her hands to the poor, & reach'd forth her hands to the needy, &c. Let him tell how good a Wife ſhe was to him, how good a Mother to his Children, how good a Child to her Honourable and Aged Parents, how good a Siſter, how good a Nei'bour, how good a Friend ſhe was; and to Crown all how ſhe walk'd with God in Secret, how ſhe lov'd the Habitation of His Houſe, how ſhe Gladly walk'd with him in the way to Heaven, a meet Help to him toward a better Life, as well as thro' the Troubles of this—: But when the moſt Afflicted Heart has ſaid all this, (too ſmall a Tribute of Praiſe to the Deceaſed) he muſt Reſign to the Soveraign GOD who form'd the Clay, and form'd the Spirit within it, and has now parted them.
LET Thoſe therefore that are Bleſs'd with the moſt Excellent Relatives be as tho' they had none: And they that weep as though they wept not: & thoſe that rejoyce, as tho' they rejoiced not: & they that buy, as though they poſſeſſed not: & they that uſe this world, as not abuſing it: for the faſhion of this world paſſeth away, 1 Cor. 7.29, 30, 31. Let us get our Souls as a weaned Child, let us look to part, let us prepare to go firſt, let us bear the Sorrow of being left, and be getting ready to follow after, from the ſure & certain hope of a comfortable meeting of all Gracious & Vertuous Souls in the future World, where we ſhall be as the Angels, indiſſolubly united to one another in the Preſence of CHRIST, made "perfect in Holineſs, and Bleſſed in the full "Enjoyment of God to all Eternity.
FINIS.
ERRATA.
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End of the text · Benjamin Colman, The Honor and Happiness of the Virtuous Woman (1716)