Exhortation to the Ministers of Gods Word, Text 2 (2 of 3)

Exhortation to the Ministers of Gods Word · Text 2 (2 of 3)

p. 134Dauid a mightie valiant Prince, begg… … Sam. 3. 14.Michal at the hands of Saul her father, and… ter his death, being betrothed vntounto her, he… sired her of Ishbosheth her brother. Iacob agre… with Laban for his wiues. And Abraham … Gen. 29. 18. &c.Gen 29:18father of the faithfull, by his seruant, intrea… Rebeccaes parents to giuegive her to wife to… sonne Isaac. All which testimonies and ex… ples doe plainely prooue the greatet inter… power and authoritie, that parents hauehave in… stowing their children, and that their cons… added to the sixe former points, whereof… p. 135hauehave spoken, doth make so sure a Contract, as cannot be loosed and vntyed by any authoritie vnderunder heauen. For here in this, that saying of Christ, (Matth. 19. 6.) is truely verified: Let no men put asunder that which GOD hath coupled together. But if this, or any of the former be omitted, the Contract may be broken and disanulled. And least wee should be ignorant, or forget what those errours are, which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract, these they be.

First, if there be onelyonly a naked shew of a promise, 1and yet no promise indeed.

Secondly, if any other thing be promised 2then marriage.

Thirdly, if the promise be conuinced to be 3meere hypocriticall or forced.

Fourthly, if one of the parties alone do promise, 4and not both.

Fiftly, if it were made betweene other creatures, 5or promisons, or betweene moe then one man and one woman.

Sixtly, if the persons contracted, or either of 6them, be altogether vnfit for marriage.

Seuenthly, if either of them be formerly 7betrothed, or hauehave committed adulterie after the Contract, or be allied, or of kin, or for any other cause not at libertie to marrie.

Eightly, if there lacke the consent of the 8parents.

If all or any of these be vndoubtedly known, p. 136and cleerely prooued, they do ioyntly and… rally frustrate or nullifie the Contract, so… Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the sam… set the parties at libertie. But contrarily,… these concurre and accord, the Contract … uiolable as marriage it selfe: neither… parties be set at libertie by themselues, or… power whatsoeuer, because this Contract, … uerie parcel thereof, is in the Lord, it… sacred ordinance of GOD, as it cann… hauehave speciall vse and fruit among his S… so now it is time to declare and te… same.

1First therefore it serueth as a strong b… pull backe the force and headinesse of… naturall, and brutish lust. For if this C… be holily and dutifully kept, according… former doctrine, it would neuer come… that any person, man or woman, should their bodies suddenly, or hastily vponupon eu… stigation of lust, like bruite beastes, but… willingly in all modestie and sobriet… sufficient time of deliberation, for the… and accomplishing of this necessarie and Contract: which is ordained to this end men might hauehave sufficient time of del… on, to learne all the vses and abuses, al c… dities and incommodities, all comforts… comforts, with all duties and breaches… ties, that can fall in the honourable est… marriage.

p. 137Secondly, it serueth to discouer betimes, and 2in good season, all sorts of impediments & lets that may or ought to hinder the marriage that is promised. Hence came that ancient & most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimonie thrice, on three seuerall daies, to the end that eueryevery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might be remedied, rather then after marriage accomplished, when it is remedilesse.

Thirdly, it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastitie; seeing by this 3meanes, not onelyonly former promises and contracts, but also fornications (if any hauehave beene) and adulteries, may be descried and discerned. For after Ioseph was contracted, before hee was married, his wife was found to be with childe; though without ill demeanour on her part, yet it made Ioseph so afraid, that he had intended in his heart priuately to relinquish & forsake her, and had so done indeed, had not Gods Angell commaunded the contrary. Neuerthelesse, it was the Contract that discouered this trueth, & so preserued Maries virginitie, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, A Virgin shall conceaue, &c. If this were not, men might vponupon knowledge or ignorance make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons, and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues, either betrothed or married, and so lose their honestie & chastitie, to their great infamie p. 138and hinderance.

4. Last of all, it serueth to condemne an… uoyd all priuate Contracts, and secret marriag… and contrarily, to iustifie and grace the ho… rable estate of marriage, as well in the beg… ning, as in the end thereof, that all things… ching the same might be begun, conti… and finished in the Lord, according to his c… mandement, that his promised blessings mi… ensue vponupon it accordingly.

This being done, the parents and parties… to be charged in the name of God, as they… answere at the day of iudgement, plainly to… wray and declare, if they know any of the f… said impediments in themselues, or in t… children, for which this Contract ought not… be made. If they say, they know none,… if they declare none, then the consent of… parents is to be demanded: which if they yee… then the consent of the parties is also to be… quired. And so the parties are to be betro… and affianced in these words, or such like:

I. N. doe willingly promise to marrie thee N… God will, and I liue, whensoeuer our pa… shall thinke good, and meete: till which… I take thee for my onelyonly betrothed… and thereto plight thee my troth. I… name of the Father, the Sonne, and the… Ghost: So be it.

The same is to be done by the woman,… p. 139namely onelyonly changed, and al in the presence of the parents, kinsfolkes and friends. After this, the parents are to be admonished, to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neere, nor too farre off, but to appoint a competent space of time, that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised mariage might be hindred, and yet giuegive no occasion by reason of the length thereof, to prouoke the parties to incontinencie. In the meane time, the parties affianced, are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage, and to behaue themselues wisely, chastly, louingly, and soberly, till the day appointed doe come. And so with a Psalme and prayer to conclude the holy action. Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract, and the day of marriage it is very necessarie for these causes.

1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping, betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage: but this is not a chiefe cause.

2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt bruit beasts & men, and betwixt the prophane & his children. For they euen as beasts, do after a beastlike manner, beingled by a natural instinct & motion come together: but God will hauehave this difference, wherby his children should be seuered from that brutish manner, in that they should hauehave a p. 140certaine distance of time betweene the… of affection, and enioying one of another… a more neere ioyning of one vntounto anothe…

3. That they should on that time think… the causes why they are to marry, and… ties of marriage. For many enter therei… considering at all of the great duties belo… to them in the same, nor thinking of the… bles and afflictions that follow marriage… the Lord would hauehave these things though… and a consideration to be had, both of the… ses of marriage, and the duties to be per… and the troubles to be vndergone.

A good and carcfull housholder so orde… and frameth his houshold, as it may m… appeare, that it is in deed the house of a f… full Christian, and that he himselfe is as a p… ouer his familie, that he instructeth it d… ly in the feare of God, and keepeth it in… and godly discipline by continuall exe… godlinesse. So that in his house, you shall… the chaste wife, the shame-faced, pla… modest wife, decked without as she is… no painted nor masked thing, rendring… obedience to her husband, and hauing a… full eye vponupon her family, seruants and ch… the master, father, and husband; the ch… and seruants; eueryevery one likewise in his d… imploying himselfe sincerely in his… and office, approuing his doings as b… GOD.

p. 141Now, like as in the minde there are such Frovvard vvicked qualities of the minde. 1. Cor. 5. 10, 11. and 6. 9. Gal. 5. 19. 20. 21. 2. Tim. 3. 2. 3. 4. 5.1 Cor 5:101 Cor 5:111 Cor 6:9Gal 5:19Gal 5:20Gal 5:212 Tim 3:22 Tim 3:32 Tim 3:42 Tim 3:5vertues, as wee hauehave before spoken of: so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions, as vngodlines, despising of Gods word, vnbeliefe, idolatrie, superstition, ignorance, churlishnesse, lying, falsehood, hypocrisie, vnrighteousnesse, swearing, backbiting, mistemperance, drunkennes, gluttony, couetousnes, vnchastitie, vnshamefastnesse, misnourture, rashnesse, furiousnesse, wantonnesse, pride, presumption, vain-glorie, chiding, brawling, and vnhandsomnesse. Who so now chooseth him a wife, or she a husband, that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices, he seeketh not a spouse, or shee a husband, for a right, peaceable, good, honest, and christian life: but an hell, a painefulnesse, and destruction of all expedient, quiet, and vertuous liuing: but specially, there is litle good to be hoped for of him or her, wheras vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth. For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it: so vngodlines and despising of God word, bring all vice & abhominations; yea, and shutteth vp the way to amendement.

When these points and rules are dulie and warily obserued on either part, they may ioyne together, and say as Laban and Bethuel sayd, This commeth of the Lord, therefore we will not speake against it. Oh how happy are those in whom faith, louelove and godlinesse are married p. 142together, before they marrie themselu… none of these carnall, clowdie, and whi… marriages can say, that godlinesse was… and bidden to the bridall, and therefore… blessings which are promised to Godli… flie from them.

2. After the riches of the mind, doe… ches of the body follow next: of which… 2. The riches of the bodie.a comely, beautifull, or well fauoured b… health, a conuenient age, &c. A beautifu… is such a one, as is of right forme and… Beautie.meete, and of strength to beare children,… gouerne an house; euen such a one as b… man and woman can finde in their hea… fainedly to louelove aboue all other, and to b… tent withall, &c. As concerning the be… comelines of the body (where there is… good propertie or qualitie beside) S… saith, Pro. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull, a… tie is vanitie: but the woman that fea… Lord, she shall be praised. And Pro. 11. 22,… iewell of gold in a swines snout: so is a faire… which lacketh discretion, or is of vncome… hauiour, and hath not wit nor gouern… behaue her selfe. For beautie is a fraile g… a slipperie, and more profitable to those behold it, then to those that hauehave it.

The beautifull woman can take no… pleasure in beautie, but a little as it we… glasse, and yet incontinently she forgetteth… she beheld and saw: and yet it is many… p. 143both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill. She that is faire waxeth proud of it, and he that doth behold her becommeth subiect vntounto filthy louelove. But in the minde (which is iudged to be the man) consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse, which intice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly louelove, being mixt with nothing that is shamefull, either to be done or spoken. And therefore there is no man so farre without wit, that had not rather hauehave her which is foule and hard fauoured, but yet is honest & vertuous, then to hauehave her which is faire and vnhonest, and also irreligious.

Happie, and twice happie is that man and that woman that are coupled in marriage with a godly and vertuous mate and bedfellow; they are doubtlesse greatly blessed of God. For house and riches are the inheritance of the fathers, but a prudent Wife commeth of the Lord. They therefore are not well in their wits, but greatly deceiue themselues that make choyse of Wiues, or Husbands, hauing regard onelyonly to their Stature, comelinesse of Personage, or to their beautie, and esteeme not more the riches of the minde.

Health also must be considered in their choyse, least otherwise great inconueniences come thereby, and least the whole house be poisoned and infected. But wee speake here of contagious sicknesses, and not of such common p. 144infirmities and vsual diseases, that both men… women are subiect vntounto. As of mad… frenzie, french pockes, or such like: which… rie wise man and woman doth vtterly dete….

Neuerthelesse, where any married p… are now together, and be visited with… such diseases, they must one comfort and… fer with the other, as they are now one… die, &c.

To hauehave temporall preferments, is… borne of noble parents, or to come of wor… full stocke, to hauehave lands, liuings, riches, g… fices, gaines, or occupyings, and such like.… the chiefest nobilitie, and most worthy of… mendation, is indeed to be noble in vertue… good works, manners and conditions. Bu… borne of gentiliue, and to vse and behaue… selfe vngently, is euen as much as to s… himselfe and his kindred.

Such therefore as purpose to marry,… carefully to foresee and looke to this m… least being too greedie of honour, wors… wealth, and intending to hauehave the Gold,… catch the hotte coales, and burne thems… without recouery: for a man may buy gold… Chuse a wife for vertue onelyonly. Pro. 19. 14.Prov 19:14deare (as we vsually say.) For temporall g… sak…, the matter miscarieth, and is in dang…

There is sometime great wealth, but… little honestie, and lesse good conscience i… gathered together. And with the same… will not continue alwayes prosperity, pea… p. 145quietnesse. Many so trust to their wealth, as that they will not frame themselues to any lawfull calling, neither will they learne any: therefore also can they doe nothing to profit their countrie, and the common-wealth, but liue idly and daintily, and with pride, riot, excesse, & honesty doe quickly waste that which hath bin long in gathering together. Now, when there is alway taking from the heape, and nothing laide thereto, it wasteth away in processe of time, how great soeuer it hath beene. Then followeth pouertie: yea, an intollerable, and vnpatient pouertie: for they that now lauish and spend prodigally altogether, hauehave had no necessitie hitherto, but flowed in all wealth: therefore after such a sunne-shine there commeth ever an extreame heate, and thenceforth beginne they to warme themselues at the bare leaues, and to spare when all is spent.

Such then as in their choise looke to the multitude of goods, and regard not how they were gotten, and whence they came, hauehave customably such smoky hats set vponupon their heads, that all the water in the riuer cannot wash away the corruption thereof. For goods without God, honestie, and good conscience, are deadly poy…on, and the bodily diuell himselfe. Yea, goods …nd riches in the hand of an vndiscre ete and ignorant man are as a sharpe knife in the hand of a thild, that doth no good therewith, but wound & hurt himselfe. Wherefore eueryevery man p. 146and euerie woman in their election c… hauehave more respect to vertue, godlinesse,… tion and knowledge, then to riches. Mo… an hand that is occupied and winneth… teth his liuing godly, christianly, and h… doth farre excell any riches that are wo… though the world esteeme them happy… liue in wealth, ease, and idlenes: yet t… Ghost approueth & alloweth them best… of the meane profit of their labours. Ps. 1…

And this also, is a very necessarie po… Seeke no match in marriage aboue thy degree.obserued, that the man chuse such a… and the woman such a man, as that th… qualitie betwixt them both, in blood &…

For by how much the greater and s… Equalitie in marriage to be respected.the coniunction is of the husband and… so much the more ought eucrie one to p… to be indifferently matched: and truth qualitie of marriage,, is in two speciall… be considered: to wit, estate and age.… two horses, or two oxen of vnequal sta… not be coupled vnderunder one selfe same y… noble woman matching with a man… estate; or contrarily, a Gentleman… begger, cannot be consorted and w… ched vnderunder the bands of wedlocke.… when it happeneth that a man marrieth… man of so high a birth, he ought (not for… that he is her husband) more to honou… steeme of her, then of his equall, or of… mener parentage: & not only to acco… p. 147his companion in louelove, and in his life, but (in diuers actions of publike apparance) to hold her his superiour. Which honour is not yet accompanied with reuerence, as is that which for manners sake we are wont to do to others. And she ought to consider, that no distinction or difference of birth and nobilitie can be so great, but that the league which both Gods ordinance & nature hath ordained betwixt men & women farre exceedeth it: for by nature woman was made mans subiect. But if a man shall take to wife an inferior or meane woman, he also ought to weigh, that Matrimonie maketh equall many differences: and further, that he hath not taken her for a slaue or seruant, but for a fellow and companion of his life. And seeing that election Of the chois… of a wife.or choise, is nothing else, but to take a thing meete and conuenient to the end it is prepared for: therefore eueryevery one that must chuse ought to regard the end, & to know what thing is conuenient for it. So that it is needefull that he be wise and discreet, or else hee cannot dispose it, nor perceiue what thing is conuenient for it. Therefore, if a man would aduisedly consider that hee is to liue with his wife continually, and shee with him, he would then be very circumspect in the choise of her, which choise maketh either very much for his felicitie and comfort, or else for his great miserie & discomfort. For by how much the more a thing is vnited and knit vntounto man, so much the more p. 148it may either helpe him, if it be good, or hind… him, if it be euill. Those dammages and hu… which are inwardly in the body, are worse the… those which are without the bodies: and thos… of the soule, then those of the bodie: and li… wise men doe iudge of those thinges which… called good.

But peraduenture it may seeme vntounto some that these things are not vniuersally true. F… vntounto some the losse of their goods is more th… the losse of their health. But this thing do… not arise or happen of the goods or money… selfe, but because some man doth perswade hi… selfe, that to loose his goods is a thing intolerable. And yet for al that, goods are not of mo… estimation, then is life or health: but it is a m… affection that doth rule in this thing. A… therefore it seemeth lesse to some, to be dri… out of a kingdome, then to other some to loo… a small portion of their possessions. Some w… reuenge a word most cruelly, and some othe… well beaten and buffeted, will not reuenge… at all.

All these things doe proceede and come… the soule, which is most inwardly ioyned a… knit vntounto a man, and hath more power in h… then the bodie.

If it be then of so great importance, what… ner of friend thou hauehave to liue commodio… or incommodiously withall, which shall n… otherwise dwel or be in the selfe same chambe… p. 149bed, or house with thee, but that thou mayest shake him off at thy pleasure: how much more oughtest thou to take heede, when thou chusest thee a wife, which must be continually conuersant with thee, at thy table, in thy chamber, in bed, in thy secrets, and finally, in thy heart and breast? If thou goe from home, thou dost commit thy house, thy familie, thy goods, and thy children (of all other things the most pleasant) vntounto her: she is the last that leaueth thee at thy departing, and the first that receiueth thee at thy returning: thou departest from her with sweet embracements and kisses, and with sweet kisses and embracements she receiueth thee at thy returne home: vntounto her thou disclosest thy ioy and heauinesse. So that it is an heauenly life to be conuersant, and in company with those that a man delighteth in and loueth. But it is a calamitie infernall, to be bound and forced to see those things that a man doth greatly hate and abhorre, or to be in company with those that a man would not be withall, and yet cannot be separated nor depart from them.

Hereof commeth, as wee doe see in some marriages, so great ruines, so wicked and vile deedes, as maimes, and murders committed by such desperate persons as are loth to keepe, and yet cannot lawfully refuse nor leaue them.

Therefore young folkes ought not to be too p. 150rash and hastie in their choise, but to hauehave… good aduise and direction of their pare… and trustie friends in this behalfe, who h… better iudgement, and are more free from t… motions of all affections then they are, A… they must take heede lest following the lig… and corrupt iudgement of their owne affec… ons and mindes, they change not a short del… tation and pleasure into a continuall so… and repentance. For we learne by great and c… tinuall vse and experience of things, that the s… cret Contractes made betweene those that… yong, doe seldome prosper, whereas contra… wise, those marriages that are made and stab… shed by the aduise of wise and religious pare… doe prosper well.

But specially and before all things, such… purpose to marrie, must faithfully with feru… nesse, and stedfast beleefe, (without ceas… make their intercession and prayer vntounto G… … good wife is …boue all …hings to be …raued of God …y prayer.to whom all hearts are open and knowne,… he would not suffer them to goe amisse, bu… a tender father) helpe and direct them to m… a right choyse, so as they may liue honest… and prosperously, as good Christians ought… his glory, and their owne comfort. For t… purpose, there is a notable example of Ele… Abrahams seruant, who being sent to get… make choise of a wife for Isaack his mast… sonne, beginneth his matter with prayer. Ge… 24. 12. &c. So did Isaack also, as it appeareth… p. 151the same Chapter, verse 63. When any hauehave determined with themselues to marry, and hauehave vsed all diligence thereto required, they must desire of God, by humble and earnest prayer, good and prosperous successe: in whose hand and power it is to giuegive it, so doubtlesse hee will effect it; if they aboue all other things shall hauehave an vndoubted hope and confidence in him. For if they, after that they hauehave setled themselues, and hauehave satisfied their appetites, shall then resort vntounto God by prayer, desiring him that they may obtaine the thing that they most desire: it appeareth that they would make him the Minister of their voluptuous desires and pleasures; and so doing, their vowes and prayers become most manifest blasphemie.

And therefore a man should not come vntounto marriage as vntounto a prophane thing, with a loose and vnprepared heart, but with a quier, and well purged minde, as to a thing most sacred and holy. For Matrimonie doth not consist onelyonly in the coniunction of the body, neyther yet in dauncing, nor banketting, proceeding and brought vntounto vsus with many other things from the Gentiles: but it should rather beseeme Christians, most studiously to pray vntounto God, that so weightie a thing as Matrimony is might hauehave good and prosperous successe. For Matrimony is a thing sanctified of God, Heb. 13. 4.Heb 13:4the which willeth the matrimoniall imbracements to be chast, the bed to be vndefiled, and p. 152their progeny vnspotted: & it is after the m… S. Paul, a signe of the great mysterie where… Christ doth indissolubly vnite himselfe… Eph. 5. 25. 26. 27Eph 5:25Eph 5:26Eph 5:27his Church. Therefore thou oughtest so… as shall lie in thee, to lift vp thy minde, and… member how great and worthy an image… dost represent, & that thy wife shall be vn… as the Church, and thou vntounto her as Ch… therefore thou shouldest shew thy selfe… her, as Christ shewed himselfe vntounto his Ch… The louelove of Christ vntounto his Church is i… dible, and thy louelove also to thy wife ought… most effectuall.

Societie, and to liue together, is the… surest and strongest knot, to knit & ioyne… tie and louelove among men, and beasts themse…

There can be no greater societie or co… ny, then is betweene a man and his wife:… house, whose goods, whose chamber, &… common, their children are common, and… themselues partakers of all good and euill… cesse, of prosperitie and aduersitie: the w… societie and fellowship, were sufficient to… and prouoke him that loueth not his wife,… louelove and beneuolence. And what company… louelove shall a man looke to hauehave of him th… ueth not his wife? There are, that in louelove… amitie looke for gaine, as the vile Epicure… vnworthy to be beloued, men which louelove th… selues, and not their friends. And if wee… regard vntounto commoditie and profit, the… p. 153nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife, no not horses, oxen, seruants or farmes: for a mans wife is the fellow and comforter of all cares and thoughts, and doth more faithfull and true seruice vntounto him, then either maid-seruant or man-seruant, which doe serue men for feare, or else for wages: but thy wife will be led onelyonly by louelove, and therefore she doth eueryevery thing better then all other.

And this doth God declare, saying: Let vsus make Adam a helper like vntounto himselfe: By the Helper, is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice, and by the similitude and likenesse are signified louelove and helpfulnesse. For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place, there can neither be so much louelove, and abilitie to minister helpe and comfort to a man, as will be found in a faithfull Wife.

The child is part of the father, and through a naturall pitie, they louelove each other: but yet the wife is more annexed & ioyned to her husband. The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children, but the children seldome labour or take paines for their fathers, and often times are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses, whereby in a manner it appeareth, that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake: but the Wife cleane contrarie, doth continually take paines for her husband, who may neither (as long as shee liueth) change house nor bed. If commoditie and profit be p. 158looked for, no commoditie excelleth this… thou shalt louelove thy life, thou shalt liue… pleasantly, if not, thy life will be most miser… and wretched. For there is nothing so sh… nor so bitter, as to hate the thing that doth… uour and louelove thee, nor any thing more happ… then to louelove him that loueth thee. Theref… louelove, that thou mayest be loued.

Now we will in few words shew the o… ons of Wedlocke, why and wherefore it… ordayned, and for what purpose it should… contracted; that eueryevery man and woman… the better vnderstand to what thing they… sent, when either of them graunteth to m… the other.

Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be, but… marriage, which was ordained of such an… cellent author, as of God himselfe, and in… a worthy place, as Paradise; and of such ancient time, as in the state of Adams… Eues innocencie, and after such a notable… der, must likewise hauehave speciall causes, for ordinance of it. Therefore the holy Scrip… doth declare chiefely three causes the… The first is, the procreation, begetting,… bringing vp of children. Gen. 1. 27. 28. & 9… Three causes of Marriage.For in the children doe the parents liue (… a sort) euen after death.

And, if they be well and vertuously bro… vp God is greatly honoured by them, the c… mon wealth is aduanced: yea, their parents… p. 159all other faire the better for them. For they are their parents comfort next vntounto God: their ioy, staffe, and vpholding of their age: and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts: for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late, but neuer an apt haruest: young branches will bow as a man will hauehave them: but old trees will sooner break then bow, &c. But more of this shall be saide after, in the dutie of parents.

Although marriage be a holy and sanctified ordinance, yet none may vse the benefite of it, Psal. 51. 5.Ps 51:5without some acknowledgement of originall sin, in that vacleannes may be practized therein, which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be, and husband and wife to keepe themselues together in the feare of God, and in all modestie and sobrietie. If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes, what hellish mischiefe is ther in those lustes, which are not repressed with these considerations? So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate, to giuegive libertie to their wiues in vncleannes, nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie, by immoderate, intemperate, or excessiue lust.

Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues: but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled, if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse. &c. 1. Tim. 4. 4. 5.

p. 156Therefore the husband is to forbe… company of his wife, when it is with he… is common to women, &c. Ezechiel,… Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 27. 29. and 29. 18.… was one of the sinnes for which the Lord… ted out the Cananites out of their land.

The second occasion why marriage w… The 2. cause. Wedlocke lawfull for such as hauehave not the gift of chastity.dained, was, that the wife might be a lawf… medie to auoid whoredome, fornication,… all filthy vncleane lusts. 1. Cor. 7. 2, 3. &c.… ching this point, I will say no more: for… handled at large by others alreadie, and… else where sufficiently discoursed of it.

The third and last cause was, for mans… moditie, The 3. cause.to the end to auoid the inconue… of solitarinesse, that the one may help &… fort the other, in sicknesse, in affliction,… all household cares, and trouble, as edu… of children, and keeping the familie in… For this cause, old men and old women… lawfully marrie. So that a wife is called by s… himselfe, an Helper, and not an impedime… a necessarie euill, as some vnaduisedly doe… and as other some say: It is better to bu… wife, then to marrie one: againe, if we co… without women, we should be without g… troubles.

These and such like sayings, tending to… This is often found most true: that such as are contemners of mariage, are most offenders against marriage, and liue most vnchastlydispraise of women, some maliciously and discreetly doe vomit out, contrarie to the… of the holy Ghost, who saith, that shee… p. 157ordained as a Helper, and not a hinderer. And if they be otherwise, it is for the most part, through the fault, and want of discretion, and lacke of good gouernment in the husband. For maried folkes, for two eyes, hauehave foure: and for two hands as many moe: which being ioyned together, they may the more easilie dispatch their handy businesse, and household affaires.

For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote, if by any meanes hee get himselfe an other, may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth, or goe whither he will: euen so, hee that hath married a wife, shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures, and profitable commodities of this present life. For in trouble, the one is a comfort to the other, in aduersitie, the one a refreshing vntounto the other: yea, and in all their life, the one is a helpe and succour to the other.

Most true it is, that women are as men are, reasonable creatures, and hauehave flexible wits both to good and euill, the which with vse, discretion, and good counsell, may be altered and turned. And although there be some euill and lewde women, yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature, then of men. And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they, that hauehave inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill: and hauehave not with like fury, vituperated and dispraised all mankind, because p. 154part of them are theeues murtherers, and… like wicked liuers.

But the marriage and companie of… band and wife, is made amiable, sweet, &… fortable, by these fiue meanes: by god… vertue, mutuall forbearing, mutuall lo… by dutifulnesse performed busily and god… both sides.

1. Godlinesse, of right holdeth the… place. For there is no stable and stedfas… ship, vnlesse it hauehave his beginning from… and therefore must godlinesse needes s… fore the rest. For when couples hauehave d… ned to obey God, all things afterward b… more easie.

2. Vertue and honest conditions,… mutuall delight betweene man and… when vertue is exercised, it maketh c… tion of liuing more amiable.

3. Mutuall forbearing, whereby we… good worth one anothers conditions, &… is very needfull. For in this weakenesse… ture there happen many scapes, wh… breede strife, if they be not couered by… forbearing.

4. Mutuall louelove hauing his begin… godlinesse and true vertue, maketh the… and wife not to be too sharpe sighted i… ing into one anothers faults: but th… things either they marke not, or if they… them they couer them with louelove.… p. 155couereth a multitude of sinnes, 1 Peter 4. 8. Prou. 10. 12.

5 Dutie performed godlily, carefully, and cheerefully on both sides, maketh the marriage yoke light and sweet. For when man and Wife marke one another, and finde like heedfulnesse and buxomnesse in their dutie, both their companie is made more pleasant, and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnes, that the one may requite the other alike. Where these fiue duties be not, the company of their life is both lothsome and bitter, or rather more sharpe then death. Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeauour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer.

Now we will (through Gods assistance) say something concerning the three seuerall points contayned in this dutie, and mentioned in the beginning hereof, and so end this dutie.

1 The first whereof is, that the Husband must liue with his Wife according to knowledge. The point of Doctrine is most plainly proued by the Apostle Peter, wher he saith, aa1 Peter. 3. 7. By Honour is meant, that the Husband ought to sustaine and relieue the wants of his Wife, to support, vphold, and beare with her infirmities, as the weaker vessell1 Pet 3:7Ye Husbands dwell with your Wiues as men of knowledge, giuing honour vntounto the Woman as vntounto the weaker vessell, euen as they which are heyres together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not interrupted. Whereby hee teacheth the Husband his duety, to wit, that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath indued him p. 160with, the more wisely and circumspectly… ought to behaue himselfe in the bearing… discommodities, which through his W… weakenesse, oftentimes cause some iarre… dislike one to the other. Neuerthelesse, th… she be by nature weaker then hee, yet she… excellent instrument for him, made for… profitable vse: whereupon it followeth,… she is not therefore to be neglected b… she is weake, but on the contrarie part,… ought to be so much the more cared for l… as a vessell the weaker it is, the more it is… fauoured and spared, if we will hauehave it to… nue: euen so a wife, because of her infir… is so much the more to be borne withall of… husband. 1. Pet. 3. 7. And for so much as… husband and wife are equall, in that whi… the chiefest, that is to say, in that gracious… free benefit, whereby they hauehave euerlasting… giuen them, though otherwise I confesse… quall, as touching the gouernance and c… sation at home, the wife is not to be disp… although she be weake. And besides, all… lings Besides the prayers had with their family, they must …ray priuatly. Gen. 25. 21. 1. Cor. 7. 3. 4. 5.Gen 25:211 Cor 7:31 Cor 7:41 Cor 7:5and chidings must be eschued and… way, because they hinder praiers, and the… seruice of God, whereunto both the hu… and the wife are equally called.

Also for the more confirmation of this po… the Apostle Paul likewise saith: Let the… band giuegive vntounto the wife due beneuolence,… likewise also the wife vntounto the husband: … p. 161wife hath not power of her owne bodie but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie but the wife. Defraud not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that yee may giuegive your selues to fasting and prayer, and againe come together, that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie. Which is, as if the Apostle should say, the parties married must with singular affection entirely louelove one the other, for that they are each in others power, as touching the bodie: so that they may not defraud one another, except the one abstaine from the other by mutuall consent, that they may the better giuegive themselues to prayer, wherein notwithstanding, they must consider what is expedient, lest by this long breaking off as it were, from marriage, they be stirred vp to incontinencie.

The second point, is, that the husband should not be bitter, fierce, or cruell vntounto his wife: which point is prooued by the said Apostle, saying: Husbands louelove your Wiues, and Coloss. 3. 19.Col 3:19be not bitter vntounto them.

First, and aboue all things, the husband Anger in a husband is a vice.must be circumspect to keepe the band of louelove, and beware that there neuer spring vp the …oote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife. …f at any time there happen to arise any cause The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience.…f vnkindnesse betwixt them, (as it is vnpossi…le alwaies to be free from it) then he must be …refull to weede vp the same with all lenitie, p. 162gentlenesse, and patience, and neuer… himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in disple… Ephesians, 4. 26. And if hee shall hauehave occ… How & when the husband ought to reproue.to speake sharpely, and sometimes to rep… hee must beware that hee doe not the… in the presence of other: but let him keep… words vntill a conuenient time, (which i… point of a wise man) and then vtter t… the spirit of meeknesse, and in the spirit… fect louelove: and he must not let sometime… uer faults, and winke at them, if they be… great and intollerable. Whatsoeuer l… Faultes sometimes must be couered with louelove.mischance shall happen vntounto him, let hi… it patiently, and beare it cheerfully: yea, t… the same should come partly through hi… negligence, yet let it rather be a louing… ning to take better heed in time to come… a cause of sorrow for that which is past,… not be holpen.

EueryEvery wise man by his owne expe… Not to take vnkindnesse for eueryevery trifle.knoweth, that he is in this life subiect… inconueniences, and that of nature he i… to displeasure, and readie to take vnk… for eueryevery trifle, and specially with… friends, yea soonest with his louing w… is lothest to displease him. Let him t… beware of this cankered corruption,… sider that he ought most of all, in louelove… with his wife, according to Christs exa… wards his Church, who gaue himselfe… he might sanctifie it, and cleanse it by the… p. 163of water through the word: That he might make it vntounto himselfe a glorious Church, not hauing spot or wrinckle, or any such thing: but that it Ephes. 5. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29.Eph 5:25Eph 5:26Eph 5:27Eph 5:28Eph 5:29should be holy and without blame: So ought men to louelove their wiues as their owne bodie: hee that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe. For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, euen as the Lord doth the Church. As if the Apostle had said: The husbands dutie … to louelove their wiues as themselues, of which The husband is to the wife in Gods stead.louelove, the louelove of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne. And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues, to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie, the Apostle willeth them to marke what maner of Church it was, when Christ ioyned it to himselfe, and how hee doth not onelyonly not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse, but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse, vntill hee hauehave wholy purged it, and made it holy. And seeing that eueryevery man loueth himselfe euen of nature: therefore (saith the Apostle) the husband shall striue against nature, if hee louelove not his wife: which hee prooueth, first by the misticall knit…ing of Christ and the Church together, and …hen by the ordinance of GOD, who saith, that the husband and wife are one: that is, …ot to be deuided.

The husband is alwaies to remember, that Husbands may not be rigorous towards their wiues, especially when they be new married. Pro. 20. 3.Prov 20:3…e be not fierce, rigorous, hastie, nor disor…ed with his wife: for then there will neuer p. 164be vnitie and concord betwixt them. If the… do not learne to keepe silence, and the husba… to hauehave patience, it shall rather be the dwell… of fooles, then the house of friends. For whe… the husband wanteth wisedome to gouer… and the wife patience to suffer, they shall… forced (it is to be feared) in continuance… time, to part house, or else eueryevery day to be i… ring and brawling.

EueryEvery married man ought also to reme… The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruant, but as a fellow. Pro. 8. 7. & 14. 9. & 15. 5. & 18. 2. & 27. 22. Pro. 9. 9. & 19. 25. Gen. 16. 6.Prov 8:7Prov 14:9Prov 15:5Prov 18:2Prov 27:22Prov 9:9Prov 19:25Gen 16:6this, that either his wife is wise and religi… else she is foolish and irreligious. If he be… ched with a wife that is sottish, foolish, and… norant of God and his word, it will little a… or profit him to reprehend or chide he… he be married to one that is wise and relig… and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word,… one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient… cause if a woman be not corrected, by… which is wisely and discreetly said, she w… uer amend by that which is threatned. W… the wife shall be inflamed with ire, wrath… lice, or enuie, the husband ought to suffer… and after the heat is somewhat cooled, and… flame quenched, then mildly to admonish… for if she once begin to lose her shamefu… in the presence of her husband, then it is l… that there will often follow braulings and… rels betwixt them. And as the husband… at all times to shun braulings and quarre… with his wife, so much more he ought to… p. 165the same, when they shall be newly married. For if at the beginning shee shall hauehave cause to abhorre and hate him, then late or neuer will she returne to louelove him faithfully. Therefore at the beginning of their marriage, the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him: for if then their louelove be fixed and truely setled one towardes the other, although afterwards they come to some houshold words and grudgings, yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnes, and not of old rooted hatred, and The falling out of louers is the renewing of louelove.therefore the sooner remedied. For louelove and hatred be mortall enemies, and the first of them that taketh place in the hart, there it remaineth adweller, for the most part all the dayes of life: in such wise, that the first louelove may depart from the person, but yet it will neuer be forgotten at the heart. But if the wife from the beginning of marriage, doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her husband, then a miserable life will follow to them both. For although the husband shall hauehave power to force his wife, to feare and obay him, yet hee shall neuer hauehave strength to force her to louelove him.

Some husbands doe boast themselues to be serued, feared, and obayed in their houses, because the wife that abhorreth, doth feare and serue her husband: but shee that indeed liketh, doth louelove him and cherish him. As the wife ought with great care to endeuour and by all p. 166good meanes to labour to be in fauou… grace with her husband: so likewise the… band ought to feare to be in disgrace and… king with his wife: for if shee doe once de… mine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking… on another, then many inconueniences wi… sue and follow.

The husband ought not to be satisfied… the vse of his wiues body, but in that hee… also the possession of her will and affect… for it sufficeth not that they be married,… that they be well married, and liue Christi… together, and be very well contented. A… therefore the husband that is not beloued his wife, holdeth his goods in danger, his… in suspition, his credit in ballance, and… sometime his life in perill; because it is… to beleeue that shee desireth not long li… to her husband, with whom shee passeth… so tedious and irkesome. And if any vn… nesse or displeasure should happen to be… any time betwixt the husband and his w… neither of them ought to impart, or to… it knowne vntounto any one of their neighb… for if they be such as wish them euill, they… reioyce at it, & if they be such as wish the… then they minister matter whereof to t…

That husband that is matched and… That man is miserable that is married vntounto a foolish woman.encounter with a wife that is dizzard, a… a babler, light of behauiour, a glutton,… der, slothfull, a gadder abroad, vnt… p. 167iealous, or dissolute, &c. it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man, then a husband to such a wife.

The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her, is to admonish her often, and to giuegive her good instructions, to reprehend her seldome, neuer to lay violent hands on her, but if shee be good and dutifull, to fauour her, to the end shee may continue so: and if shee be shrewish and wayward, mildly to suffer her, to the end that she waxe not worse. But some husbands be of so sowre a nature, and so vnpleasant in their behauiour, that they can hardly be loued, no not of their wiues, their countenance is so lowring, their company so currish, that they seeme angrie euen when they be best pleased: they cannot speake faire, scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vponupon them: a man would say, they were borne in an angry houre.

This is also a dutie not to be forgotten, Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house. A mans house will continue by prouision before hand, and by order in his expences. Rom. 12. 17. 1 Tim. 5. 8.Rom 12:171 Tim 5:8namely, that husbands be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses, to clothe their wiues decently, to bring vp their children vertuously, and to pay their seruants duely: because that in voluntary matters men may be negligent, but the necessities of their house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulnes. The dutie of the husband is to get goods: and of the wife to gather them together, and saue them. The dutie of the husband is to trauell abroad to p. 168seeke liuing: and the wiues dutie is to… But where disorder is in a house, it cannot endure.the house. The dutie of the husband is… money and prouision: and of the wiues… vainely to spend it. The dutie of the hus… is, to deale with many men: and of the wi… talke with few. The dutie of the husband i… be entermedling: and of the wife, to be s… and withdrawne. The dutie of the man… be skilfull in talke: and of the wife, to boast… lence. The dutie of the husband is, to be a… and of the wife, to be a sauer. The dutie… man is, to apparell himselfe as hee may:… Spare in time, and spend in time, for sparing is a rich purse.of the woman as it becommeth her,… dutie of the husband is, to be lord of all:… and of the wife, to giuegive account of all. The… of the husband is, to dispatch all things wi… doore: and of the wife, to ouersee and gi… der for all things within the house.… where the husband and wife performeth… duties in their house, we may call it a Co… of quietnes: the house wherein these are… lected, we may terme it a hell.

It is to be noted, and noted againe,… The honour of the Husband, dependeth on the Wife.the prouision of household dependeth… on the husband: euen so the honour of… pendeth onelyonly of the woman: in such s… there is no honour within the house,… then a mans wife is honourable. And the… the Apostle calleth the woman, The g… the man. But here it must bee noted a… membred, that we doe not intitle honourab… p. 1691. Cor. 11. 7.1 Cor 11:7to such, as be onelyonly beautifull, comely of face, of gentilitie, of comely personage, and a good huswife: but onelyonly, to her that is vertuous, honest of life, temperate, and aduised in her speech.

3. The last point is, that the husband louelove, The third point.cherish, and nourish his wife, euen as his owne body, and as Christ loued his Church, and gaue himselfe for it, to sanctifie it. And this point is plainely proued by the Apostle Paul, as is sufficiently declared in the second point.

There are few husbands or wiues, that know in truth how they should louelove one the other. If a man louelove his wife onelyonly for these respects, because shee is rich, beautifull, noble, or because she contenteth and pleaseth him, after the sensuall appetite of the flesh, and for such like causes; that is no true louelove before God: for such louelove may be among harlots and whores, yea among bruite beasts. But a Christian husband Cant. 4. 9. 10. 1. Cor. 9. 5. 1. Pet. 3. 7.Song 4:9Song 4:101 Cor 9:51 Pet 3:7must louelove his wife, chiefly because she is his sister in the profession of the sound and Christian religion, and so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen. And he must also louelove her for her vertues, as for her shamefastnesse, modestie, chastitie, diligence, patience, faithfulnesse, temperance, secrecie, obedience, and such like Christian qualities and graces of God: yea, although shee be but hard fauoured, and of poore parentage.

But as we would that the man when hee p. 170loueth, should remember his superiority, so… would that when he ruleth, he neither forge… louelove, nor to temper his louelove with grauitie. A… when he doth think himselfe to be the head… the soule, and the woman (as it were) the fl… and the body, he ought in like manner to… member, that she is his fellow, and compa… of his goods and labours, and that their child… be common betweene them, bone of the bo… and flesh of the flesh of man. And thus th… shall be in wedlocke a certaine sweet and pl… sant conuersation, without the which it is… marriage, but a prison, a hatred, and a perpet… torment of the mind. So that the husband… let his wife perceiue and know, that for… good opinion that he hath of her, he doth… her simply, and faithfully, and not for any… tie or pleasure. For who so doth not perce… that he is beloued for his owne sake, will… lightly doe the same to another: for the… that is loued, loueth againe.

If mony or nobilitie could perceiue and… derstand that they were beloued, they wo… they had any feeling at all of louelove, requi… with louelove: but when the soule is loued, i… much as it may louelove, it giueth louelove for louelove,… loueth againe. The breaker of horses, that… vse to ride and to pace them, doth handle… rough and sturdie colt with all craft, rigour, a… fiercenes that may be: but with the colt that… more tractable, he taketh not so great paine.… p. 171sharpe and shrewd wife must be pleased and mittigated with louelove, and ruled with authority: and the more gently thou doest vse and shew thy selfe vntounto her that is meeke and honest, the more benigne and meeke thou shalt finde her. But she that is noble, and of a stout minde and stomacke, the lesse thou doest looke to be honoured, the more shee will obey and honour thee. But yet the wise husband shall neuer set himselfe so farre in louelove, that he forget that he is a man, the ruler and gouernour of the house, and of his wife, and that he is set (as it were) in a Station to watch, and diligently to take heed what is done in his house, and to see who goeth out and in. And although the husband by Gods 1. Cor. 11. 3. Ephes. 5. 23.1 Cor 11:3Eph 5:23ordinance, be the head ouer his wife, yet hee may not abuse or despise her, but most louingly defend and keepe her from all iniuries, and all euils, as his owne bodie. For like as the head seeth and heareth for the whole bodie, ruleth and guideth the bodie, and giueth it strength of life: or as Christ doth defend, teach and preserue his Church, and is the Sauiour, comfort, eye, heart, wisedome, and guide thereof: euen so must the husband be head vntounto his wife in like manner, to shew her like kindnes, and after the same fashion to guide her, and rule her with discretion, for her good and preseruation, and not with force & wilfulnesse to intreat her, but to be her defender, instructer, teacher, and comfort. So that when the husband hath p. 172obtained, that his wife doth truely and ha… louelove him, there shal then need neither precep… nor lawes: for louelove shall teach her moe thing… and more effectually, then all the precepts of… the Philosophers. He ought therefore to ind… uour, and more force himselfe, that his wife… louelove him, then that shee may feare him. Wh… his wife shall offend or displease him, hee… not hate her, or quarrell with her, but patie… and mildly admonish her: For no man… Ephos. 5. 18. 29.hated (saith the Apostle) his owne bodie,… cherisheth it, and maketh much of it. So the… that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe: for the… by hee enioyeth peace and comfort, and he… to himselfe in all his affaires: therefore in… same verse, Paul counselleth husbands to l… their wiues, as their bodies. And after in the… verse, as though it were too little to louelove th… as their bodies, hee saith: Let euerie one… his wife as himselfe: that is, as his bodie… soule too. For if God commanded men to… their neighbours as themselues, much mor… they bound to louelove their wiues as themse… which are their next neighbours. As El… did not louelove his wife lesse for her barren… but said: Am not I better vntounto thee then… sonnes? as though hee fauoured her more,… 1. Sam. 18.1 Sam 18that which she thought her selfe despised: So… good husband will not take occasion to lo… his wife lesse for her infirmities, but comfort… more for them, as this man did, that shee m… beare with his infirmities too. And so the one Gal. 6. 2.Gal 6:2helping to beare the others burthen, they shall the better fulfill the law of Christ. For as in a citie, there is nothing more vnequall then that euerie man should be like equall: so it is not conuenient, that in one house eueryevery man should be like and equall together. There is no equalitie in that citie, where the priuate man is equal with the Magistrate, the people with the Senate, or the seruant with the master, but rather a confusion of all offices and authoritie.