The Sacred Diary, Section 34
SECT. XXXIV. Of the Government of your Tongues.
HE that offends not with his Tongue, is a perfect Man, James 2.3. He cometh near to Perfection indeed, who can ſubdue thoſe Corruptions, which not only prophane Men cannot ſubdue, but hardly thoſe that be Religious. It is one of our Maſter-pieces in Religion, to govern our Tongues well, very pertinently and accommodately. Three ways many Men do offend with their Tongues.
Per
Multiloquium,
Stultiloquium,
Praviloquium.
1. By much Speaking: For he that is a Prodigal and laviſh Talker, bridleth not his Tongue. To bridle the Tongue is a token of Wiſdom: But to be full of Words is a note of Folly. In many words there cannot want ſin: but he that is wiſe, will refrain his Lips, Prov. 10.19. Sometime the occaſion may require, that a Man muſt ſpeak much, and though it be much, it is no more than neceſſary. He that ſpeaks but what is needful, let not him be taxed for ſpeaking much. Abſit ut Multiloquium deputetur, quando neceſſa ia dicuntur. Auguſt.But ſometimes though the Matter he ſpeak be good enough, yet ye may be taxed for ſpeaking too much; either becauſe not needful, or not ſeaſonable. The Beaſts in Ezekiel's Viſion are ſaid to have Wings, and Eyes in their Wings. You muſt not only have Wings, but Eyes too; Eyes of Diſcretion, as well as Wings of Zeal or Devotion. I ſay, Eyes of Diſcretion, to accommodate circumſtances of our Speech, as Times, Places, Perſons, Occaſions do require. They that are affected with Loquacity and much Speaking; Lavat. in Prov. 10.19.it is impoſſible (as Lavater ſaith) but they muſt, vel falſa dicere, vel ſuperflua, vel utraque; either ſpeak things that are falſe, or ſuperfluous, or both: Howſoever it is an argument of Indiſcretion and Vain-glory.
2. Men offend by fooliſh and vain Speaking, when their talk is idle and to no purpoſe; either ſuch as edifies not, or ſuch as concerns us not. St. Paul ſaith, Our ſpeech ſhould be to the uſe of Edifying, and miniſter Grace to the Hearers, Epheſ. 4.29. If there be no Edifying in it, better conceald than uttered. In Col. 4.6. he bids that our words be ſeaſoned with Salt. They ſhould have Salt in them; at leaſt ſome ſeaſoning, and reliſh of Wiſdom and Diſcretion. Excellent are Solomon's Compariſons to this purpoſe: One while he compares the Tongue of a wiſe Man to a Tree of life, Prov. 15.4. Another while the Words that he ſpeaks, unto choice Silver, Prov. 10.20. [The Tree of life,] there is Grace and Edification. [Choice Silver,] There is Wiſdom and Diſcretion. In fooliſh and vain Talking there is neither of theſe, for that is both empty and uſeleſs. Not like a Tree of Life, but like an heap of Chaff; ſo it is empty. Not like choice Silver, but like refuſe Droſs; ſo it is uſeleſs.
With this ſame foreign, the Apoſtle joyns foreign, with Fooliſhtalking he joyneth Jeſting-talk. Fooliſh talk and jeſting, let them not be ſo much as named among you; for they be things not convenient. Eraſmus tranſlates it, Ʋrbanitas, but improperly; for there is an Ʋrbanity, that is Facetious and Ingenious. And as it ſavoureth of Wit, ſo it is no enemy to Grace; but Chriſtian Sobriety may be kept, and yet that uſed. The word rather ſignifies Scurrilitas, a paraſitical, and baſe kind of Wit, compounded of Jeſt and Scorn: When either to pleaſe himſelf, a Man will rather loſe his beſt Friend, than his worſt Jeſt: Or to oyl the Ear of his Epicureal Benefactor, will not care what Diſgrace he puts upon his Chriſtian Brother. This is fooliſh talk, which profits not.
There is Fooliſh-talk alſo that concerns us not, and that is curiousmedling with other Mens Buſineſs. In 1 Tim. 5.13. St. Paul taxeth certain. Widows of Epheſus, that among other ill qualities, they had this for one, to go Gadding from Houſe to Houſe, and to play the Pratlers, and Buſie-bodies. Solomon ſaith, It is an honour to a Man to ceaſe from Strife, but every Fool will be medling, Prov. 20.3. To be medling with other Mens Buſineſs that concerns us not, is the part of a Fool.
3. By wicked Talking: And this reacheth either to God or Man. The ſeveral Branches of both, ye may find out by the ſeveral Branches of the Moral Law.
1. Againſt God. There is the Tongue of the Atheiſt, of whom David ſaith, He ſaith in his Heart, there is no God; yea, and perhaps he doth not forbear to ſay ſo with his Tongue too: For tell them, that God knows and ſeeth what they do, they ſcoff at it; What, Can God ſee us? Can he look through the dark Cloud? Or tell them, he will one Day come, and be avenged of them for what they do: they ſcoff at that alſo, as St. Peter ſaith, They ask with ſcorn, Where is the Promiſe of his coming? Such Promiſes and Threatnings as theſe, they count but as Fables. There is the Tongue of the Heretick, that ſpreads abroad falſe Doctrine of God, that perſwades the People to follow Vanities, and to go after Lyes. There is the Tongue of the Schiſmatick, that ſows the ſeed of Debate and Contention, that breaks aſunder the Bond of Unity. There is the Tongue of the Blaſphemer and Swearer, that ſpeaks irreverently and prophanely of God and his Attributes, his Word and his Ordinances, and fearfully threatens Heaven with Oaths and Execrations. Theſe are Tongues that ſpeak wickedly againſt God.
There be Tongues alſo that ſpeak wickedly againſt Men. There is the Diſloyal and Diſobedient Tongue, that mocketh the Father, and deſpiſeth the inſtruction of the Mother. There is the Bloody Tongue, that ſpeaks words of Hatred and Malice, that threatens (as Eſau di…) Miſchief and Revenge againſt duplicate page duplicate page the Life of others, upon the undue apprehenſions of ſuſpected Injuries. There is the Obſcene Tongue, that pours out rotten and unſavoury Communication, delighting to talk impurely, and unchaſtly, that ſolliciteth to acts of Luſt and Uncleanneſs; as Potiphar's Wife did Joſeph; or as Amnon ſollicited Tamar. One of the Philoſophers hearing a beautiful Young-Man ſpeak ſome words of Immodeſty, Askt him if he were not aſhamed to draw a Leaden Sword out of an Ivory Scabbard? We may ask ſo of thoſe whoſe Profeſſion is fair, and their Communication filthy, whether they be not aſhamed to draw ſuch unſeemly words from under ſo ſacred a Calling? There is the Deceitful Tongue, that coyns many a falſe Lye, that ſweareth many a falſe Oath, that venteth many a falſe Proteſtation, to pin ill-favoured Bargains upon others, though he quilt up a deal of worſe Gain to himſelf. But as Solomon ſaith of falſe Ballances, we may ſay of falſe Tongues, they be an abomination to the Lord. There is the Slandering and Backbiting Tongue, that woundeth the Reputation of thoſe that be abſent, of thoſe that be Dead, to make them odious. There is the Cenſorious and Scoffing Tongue, that delighteth in talking of whatſoever is ſaid or done, and then Carping at whatſoever it pleaſeth to diſlike, with ſome ſcurrilous Frump.
Let all therefore, but eſpecially thoſe that ſeem to be Religious, take ſpecial care every Day to the well governing of their Tongues, to bridle their Tongues. A Bridle hath a Rein belonging to it, and a Bit; the Rein to give Liberty, the Bit to Check in. Thus learn ye to do by your Tongues; you muſt learn when to give them the Rein, when the Bit; when to let them looſe, when to reſtrain them. Solomon ſaith, There is a time to Speak, and a time to keep Silence. To this purpoſe there are divers Circumſtances, which are carefully to be obſerved of us, both in our keeping Silence, and in our Speaking. We muſt conſider,
The Perſons, to whom we ſpeak.
The Matter, what we ſpeak.
The Manner, how we ſpeak.
The End, why we ſpeak.
The Place, where we ſpeak.
The Time, when we ſpeak.
1. The Perſons are to be conſidered, to whom ye ſpeak; for you muſt not ſpeak every thing to every Body. To ſome it were a folly to do it; to ſome it were dangerous to do it; it were like Hezekiah's opening his Treaſures to his Enemy, which was little better in effect than the betraying of his Kingdom. Obſerve the Condition and Quality of the Perſon, and accordingly learn to ſpeak, or to be ſilent.
2. Obſerve the Matter that ye ſpeak of; for according to that, ye ſhould ſpeak more freely, or more ſparingly. My Heart is inditing a good Matter, ſaith David, and my Tongue ſhall be the Pen of a ready Writer. If it be a good Matter that we are to ſpeak of, we may let go the Rein of the Bridle, and give our Tongues more ſcope and liberty: But take heed of thoſe prophane Bablings that St. Paul ſpeaks of, that increaſe to more Ʋngodlineſs, 1 Tim. 2.16. Thoſe unneceſſary Bablings that St. Peter ſpeaks of, to meddle as Buſie-bodies in other Men's Matters, 1 Pet. 4.15. St. Auguſtine gives good advice to this purpoſe; Thou wilt not give thy Stomach bitter Meat to feed on: and wilt thou give thy Tongue wicked talk to feed on? Cibos amaritudinis non das ventri, & cibos Iniquitatis, dabis Linguae, Auguſt.As thou art choice of what thou Eateſt, ſo be choice of what thou Talkeſt.
3. Obſerve in what Manner ye ſpeak. St. Paul would that all your words be ſeaſoned with the ſalt of Diſcretion, Col. 4.6. You muſt learn when to uſe an Admonition, when a Reproof, when a Comfort. If ye be to deal with a Superiour, uſe the more Humility; if with one Equal, you may uſe the more Formality; if with your Inferiour, ye may exerciſe your Authority. Some Natures muſt be handled with Mildneſs, ſome with Sternneſs: Some Faults are to be privately reproved, others to be publickly rebuked. Some Offenders muſt be ſaved with fear, others reſcued with Violence, and as it were with plucking out of the Fire. According to the ſeveral Occaſions and Diſpoſitions that we meet with, ſo muſt our Speech be tempered.
4. Conſider what end ye have in ſpeaking: For though your Mouth be as the Oracle of God, ſpeaking things Heavenly and Excellent: Though your Admonitions be never ſo holy, your Conſolations never ſo refreſhing, your Reproofs never ſo zealous, yet perhaps your End may not be ſincere. Let your End therefore be always to aim at the Glory of God, and at the good of your Brethren; Piety teacheth the one, Charity the other.
5. Conſider the Place where ye ſpeak; for there is a difference to be put between private Places and publique. A Sage Philoſopher ſitting at a Feaſt, was by ſome of the Gueſts requeſted to enter into ſome Philoſophical Diſcourſe; he anſwered, Inter pocula non eſt Philoſophandum: That was no fit Place for him to diſcourſe of Philoſophy. Some will never talk of Religion, but when they are in a Tavern, or upon an Ale-bench; fit Chairs for ſuch Doctors. I do not ſpeak as if God might not any where be talkt of; I ſpeak only to condemn the indiſcreet Folly of thoſe, who chooſe unfit Places, or unfit Meetings for their Diſcourſes: It is to do as the Scribes and Phariſees did, to pray in the Market-place, and to buy and ſell in the Temple.
6. You muſt have reſpect to the Time when ye ſpeak; Words ſpoken in due ſeaſon, are like Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver. The Prophet notes it as a ſpecial part of Wiſdom in him that hath the Tongue of the Learned, to ſpeak a word in due ſeaſon. Thus Abigail dealt with Nabal, ſhe would not tell him of his folly and danger in his Drunken Fit, but when the Wine was out of his Brain.
Now for the better Learning of all this, I will recommend to you a few Rules of Direction.
1. Be careful to keep a continual watch over your Tongues, and to take diligent heed to the words that paſs from you. I ſaid, I will take heed unto my ways, Pſal. 39.1.ſaith David, that I offend not with my Tongue. It is with your Talking, as with your Walking: If ye do not take heed to your Feet when you Walk, you may happen to ſtumble. So if you do not take heed to your Tongues when you Talk, they may happen to run wild.
2. With Watchfulneſs joyn Prayer: Pray heartily and frequently unto God, that he would reſtrain your Tongues from evil-ſpeaking, and open them in uttering the things that be good. Thus did Agur, Remove from me Vanity and Lyes, Prov. 30.8. Thus did David, Set a Watch, O Lord, before my Mouth, and keep the door of my Lips, &c. As ye muſt beg Pardon of him, when ye have offended in the miſgoverning your Tongues, ſo for the guiding and wellgoverning of them, ye muſt be Petitioners to Him: Only He that hath given them to you, can teach you how to govern them.
3. Learn Humility in obſerving your ſelves, that will teach you Sobriety in ſpeaking of others: For whence is our Curioſity in obſerving, our Cenſoriouſneſs in condemning others, but meerly from an opinionative Self-love, and a proud Conceit that Men have of themſelves: Tamdiu quiſque ſua peccata ignorat, quamdiu curioſè aliena conſiderat. Bernard.So long a Man is ignorant in ſeeing his own Faults, as he is curious to pry into other Mens. And to this purpoſe, Chryſoſtom gives good advice: Enter into thine own Heart, ſaith he, and let thine own Conſcience be thy Judg; bring thy ſelf to a reckoning, Chryſoſtom. Homil. 43. in Math.and ponder in thy ſelf the manifold Sins that thou knoweſt thy ſelf to have committed; think of the Puniſhments that are due unto thee for them, and ask thy ſelf the queſtion, How thou dareſt do this, or that? If thy Conſcience then offer to flie back, and to baffle thee with other Mens faults, Dic ad ipſam, non ego Judex in alios: Anſwer her roundly; God hath not made thee a Judg of others, thou haſt enough of thine own to anſwer for.
4. Learn ever to be more ready to Hear than to Speak. So Elihu ſaith, That he was careful to do. Thus he ſpeaks to Job and his three Friends, Behold, I waited for your Words; I gave ear to your Reaſons, whilſt you ſearched out what to ſay, &c. Job 32.11. Indeed, that is the way to get Wiſdom, to hear much, and ſpeak little. He that hears much, ſhall learn much; he that talks much ſhall learn little. If you deſire to ſpeak much, Seneca ſaith, you ſhould do it by a Soliloquy, Minimum cum aliis loqui, plurimum vobiſcum: Speak little to others, moſt to your ſelves. It is the ſame the Apoſtle teacheth us, We ſhould be ſwift to hear, ſlow to ſpeak, James 1.19. Yea, we ſhould be twice as ſwift to hear as to ſpeak; becauſe Nature hath given us but one Organ to ſpeak with, two to hear with.