The Sacred Diary, Section 27 – Section 28
SECT. XXVII. Of the Converſation of Parents and Elders.
EVery one in the Family ought to ſerve God according to his Abilities, as his Place gives him occaſion or advantage. Many a one, if he were Head and Maſter of a Family, (as he is but an Inferiour) would do more good than there is done. Therefore they that have ſuch advantage of place, ſhould glorifie God accordingly: And they ſhould be like thoſe Wheels in the Clock, which move firſt of all, and carry round all the reſt with them: They ſhould be Leaders in Praying, in Reading, in Meditation, in holy Conference, in Humility, in Zeal, in Sobriety, in Admonition, in an Heavenly Converſation.
Parents ſhould pray earneſtly unto God to heal their Childrens Souls. They ſhould alſo be very careful to purge out the vanity of their Hearts and Converſations; that ſo albeit they could not prevent the running Iſſue whereby they conveied Sin to their Children at the firſt, yet they may take heed of increaſing it by an evil example. By a vain and evil Converſation, thou doſt no leſs than confirm, and even water thoſe roots of Sin, which thou thy ſelf haſt planted in them. 1. Evil Examples are moſt dangerous, which are practiſed by Men that have moſt Authority. Now the Child, eſpecially when he is young in his Childhood, when his diſpoſition receiveth its firſt ſhape, looketh upon his Father as his Prince (as it were,) he feareth and regardeth more than any Prince; and ſo his Look, his Word, and eſpecially his Example, is a Law unto him, and he looks for no better Warrant. Maxima debetur pueris reverentia.It hath been ſaid, Much reverence is due to Children. We ſay (and that truly) that Children owe great Reverence to their Parents and Elders: And 'tis as true; Parents and Elders ſhould carry it reverently toward Children, becauſe their Example emboldens Children to imitate them in a likeneſs of Speech, or Behaviour. 2. That Example is moſt dangerous, that is moſt commonly in ſight. Now the Child looketh upon the Father and Mother almoſt every Day, when they riſe up, lie down, go forth, come in, talk, eat, drink, &c. he is ſtill with them: Other Mens Courſes he ſeeth but now and then, theſe always. Now when unmortified, unreſtrained Vanity ſhall break out in every paſſage of their Lives, and their Children be witneſſes of it, is it not likely that they will be followers of it alſo? The Child perhaps hears a Neighbour Swear once in a Week, or Month, but when he ſhall hear his Father every Day diſhonour God this way, this is very dangerous. 3. Evil Examples are moſt dangerous in thoſe whom we ſpecially love; for Love is a cover for many Blemiſhes, in Perſons and Things that are beloved. Now whom doth the Child love ſo much as Father and Mother, therefore their evil Examples will foon take with them. That which is evil in Parents, ſeemeth good to their Children, becauſe of their Natural Love toward them. Therefore ye Parents, how careful ſhould ye be of your Carriage in regard of your Children. Ye would have your Children love you, and ſo they ought: But take heed leſt ye make their Love to you, an occaſion of Deſtruction to them. That were a moſt wicked unnatural Parent, that knowing his Child ſhould love ſomething as ſhould poyſon it, would purpoſely lay it in his Child's way, that he might ſwallow it down: So when a Parent knows his Children love and embrace him, and that which he doeth, his Courſes and Actions; what a woful thing is it, if he ſhall defile himſelf and his actions with Sin and Wickedneſs; and ſo occaſion his Children by embracing him in love, to take into their Hearts and Affections, their Sin and Wickedneſs alſo, whereby he and his Actions are poiſoned. 4. The evil Examples of thoſe are moſt dangerous, on whom we depend moſt. Now upon whom on Farth doth Children moſt depend ſo much as on their Parents? They look for Meat, Drink, Clothes, Protection, Portions, from them, therefore their Examples are even a Law unto them. Therefore Parents ſhould walk unblameably before their Children, that their Sins may not be Stumbling-blocks, and occaſions of falling to them. 5. Thoſe Examples are moſt dangerous, which are of ſuch Perſons as have a ſpecial nearneſs and likeneſs to us in Natural Diſpoſitions. Now whoſe Natural Tempers are commonly more like, than the Child's to the Father's and Mother's? And when they being of like temper to the Children, ſhall walk before them in a vain Converſation, this will be a dangerous means to draw them after them. Therefore ye that are Parents, take heed, let not your Children learn of you to Lye, Swear, to be Drunk, to Cheat, to prophane the Sabbath, to ſcoff at Piety, to ſpeak Filthily, to be Malicious, to be Revengeful, to be greedy on the World, to be Proud, to be Wanton, to be Obſtinate, to be Idle, to contemn the Word of God, to neglect the Worſhip of God, or to perform it careleſly. It is little thought what miſchief Fathers and Mothers do to their Children in this regard. When the poor Child not yet knowing the right Hand from the left in matters of Religion, nor what belongs to Salvation and Damnation, ſhall ſee the print of his Father's foot in the way of Sin and Death, will he not be apt to make his Father's footſteps his Direction? Ezek. 20.15, 16. Fathers by giving evil Examples to their Children, give evil Statutes to their Children. The Lord ſaith, Walk ye not in the Statutes of your Fathers. This he ſpake unto the Children. Their Fathers gave them Statutes, viz. They gave them their evil Example as a Law and Rule unto them. The Lord chargeth them to walk in his Laws, and keep his Statutes, and not to make the evil Ways and Examples of their Fathers a Rule unto them.
Therefore ye Parents, be ye very careful of your Converſation, even in regard of your Children; for be you ſure of this, that if you periſh in your Sins, and by your Example bring your Children to the ſame place of Torment, every one of them ſhall add exceedingly to your Woe and Miſery. On the other ſide, in tender pity towards them, and your own Souls, labour all ye can, by Exhortation, Example, and by all good Means, to ſet your Children in the way of Life, that they may be a Crown unto you at the laſt Day. Bleſſed are thoſe Parents which ſo walk before their Children, and bleſſed are thoſe Children, which ſo follow ſuch Parents, as they follow Chriſt.
SECT. XXVIII. Of the Carriage of Children, Servants, and Inferiours.
Children, and Servants, and Inferiours, muſt not ſlack their pace, if they ſhould perceive much backwardneſs to do that which is good, by thoſe that are above them, but they muſt ſtir up the gift that is in them, and labour to go as far before others in the Ways of God, as they are behind them in place and dignity: For although their Superiours ſhould out-run them in Zeal and Holineſs, yet they have no Warrant to tarry for them, when they ſee them to loiter. Ahab ſhould have been more careful than his Servant Obadiah, in ſaving thoſe hundred Prophets from Jezehel's rage: Yet though Obadiah ſee his Maſter rather yield to his Wife, than fear the Lord, he will not learn to ſtand ſtill by his example, but hides them by fifty in a Cave, and feeds them with Bread and Water. Nabal ſhould have been more ready to have relieved David's wants, and more provident in ſaving his Family from danger, than his Wife, the weaker Veſſel: But when Abigail ſeeth him fail in both, ſhe doth not ſit ſtill, and put all to the hazard, but ſupplieth in both that wherein her Husband was defective. The zeal of an Inferiour Perſon ought to be attended with Humility, and comlineſs of Behaviour; yet muſt he not under colour of Humility, Modeſty, or keeping diſtance, neglect his Duty. Young Elihu, Job 32.18. ver. 6, 7.though he was ſo full of Matter, that he was ready to burſt, yet would not ſpeak before his Elders had ſaid what they could: Yet when he ſaw the Ancients ſilent, he thought their unſeaſonable ſilence a warrant for his younger years to ſpeak thoſe things which they ought to have delivered.