The Sacred Diary, Section 24
SECT. XXIV. Of the Government of a Family.
THe Maſter of the Family is a Perſon in whom reſteth the private and proper Government of the whole Houſhold, and he comes not to it by Election, as it falleth out in other States, but by the Ordinance of God, ſetled in the order of Nature: As one hath well obſerved. To the Paterfamilias, the Father and Chief-head of the Family, the true right and power over all Matters domeſtical do belong: And to this purpoſe, if thou art in that Place,
1. See that thou ſet up and further the Worſhip of God in thy Family. It was the reſolution of Joſhua, I and my Houſhold will ſerve the Lord, Joſh. 24.15. And to this end, do thou both pray for, and with thy Houſhold, and alſo inſtruct them in the holy Scriptures, and catechiſe them in the grounds of Religion, that they may grow in Knowledg, and may profit by the publique Miniſtry. Thus God commanded the Children of Iſrael to walk in their Families. Deut. 6.7. Thou ſhalt rehearſe theſe things continually unto thy Children, and ſhalt talk of them, when thou tarrieſt in thine Houſe, &c. And, ver. 20. When thy Son ſhall ask thee— What mean theſe Teſtimonies, and Ordinances, and Laws, which the Lord our God commanded you? Then ſhalt thou ſay unto thy Son, We were Pharaoh's Bondmen in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty Hand. This Teſtimony God gave of Abraham before the Law was given, Gen. 18.19. For I know Abraham, that he will command his Sons, and his Houſhold after him, that they may keep the Way of the Lord. To this purpoſe, Auguſt. in Joan. Tract. 51.St. Auguſtine ſaith; That the Maſter of the Family doth after a ſort, and in his meaſure, perform the Office of a Biſhop within his own Houſe.
2. See that thou makeſt Proviſion for thy Family, both Food and Rayment. If any provide not for his own, and eſpecially for thoſe of his own Houſe, he hath denied the Faith, and is worſe than an Infidel, 1 Tim. 5.8. The Lambs are for thy Clothing, and the Goats are the price of thy Field; and thou ſhalt have Goats Milk enough for thy Food, for the Food of thy Houſhold, and for the maintenance of thy Maidens, Prov. 27.26, 27.
3. Look that ye keep good Order, and exerciſe good Diſcipline in the Family: If Children be ſtubborn, and Servants diſobedient, you are to correct them, and chaſtiſe them according to the nature of their Offence, and the ſtate and condition of the Perſon, having firſt admoniſhed them.
4. See that you perform all Duty about your Servants conſcionably. Which conſiſteth in two things,
I. In reſpect of your Chooſing them.
II. In reſpect of your Carriage toward them.
In the Choice of Servants, have regard to theſe things.
1. As to the number of Servants, ſee that it be proportionable to your Eſtate, Revenues, Calling, and Employments. It is great folly to make Oſtentation of many Servants meerly through Vanity. A Man is no way the happier by having many Servants.
2. As to the quality of Servants, you muſt either take good Servants, or labour to make them ſuch. If one Achan troubleth a Land, how may one irreligious Servant trouble an Houſe? God bleſſed Potiphar and Laban, for Joſeph's and Jacob's ſakes: You ſhould beware of entertaining ſuch Servants, who have neither Conſcience, nor the fear of God, and by whoſe wicked Converſation your Children may be ſoon corrupted.
3. For Capacity; It is neceſſary that in a Servant there ſhould be Ability to diſcharge his Office; for every one that is Honeſt, hath not Ability to undergo all kinds of Buſineſs. Our Abilities are limited as well as our Minds, and every one hath his particular Talent, which muſt be known by thoſe that will make uſe of him. To this end enquire where they have lived, get good Teſtimony concerning them, and try before you truſt.
4. See that you take ſuch Servants as are faithful. Faithfulneſs is one of the Qualities which the Goſpel gives of a good Servant: You have reaſon to require it, and diſcreetly to make trial of it, not by ſuſpicions and jealouſies, which only ſerve to provoke ſuch as have a diſpoſition to do well. A Man is oftentimes made Faithful, by being thought Faithful; and many through continual fear to be Cozened, have taught others to Cheat and Cozen, juſtifying their Deceit by their own Diſtruſt: As the Roman Philoſopher ſaith; You muſt allow your Officers what command and freedom their Charges do require, not quarrelling with them every minute for Trifles: Notwithſtanding you muſt carefully reſerve the ſtate of your Affairs for your private knowledg; for it is an equal Fault, indifferently to truſt all, or to diſtruſt all.
II. As to your Carriage towards them.
When you have made a good choice, the government of them is not hard: For St. Auguſtine ſaith, Nothing is ſo eaſie as to perſwade thoſe unto Good, who have a great deſire to put it in practice.
1. Baniſh all Vice and Scandal from your Houſe, let not Wantonneſs and Uncleanneſs come near it: Let not Surfeiting, Drunkenneſs, or Exceſs know ſo much as the gate thereof; ſuffer not proud Perſons, Liars, Slanderers, and workers of Deceit to dwell with you, cauſe froward and wicked Perſons to depart from you. This was David's practice, Pſal. 101. For as Nebuchadnezzar made the Pages that attended on him, learn his Language; ſo the Devil teacheth thoſe of his acquaintance, his Dialect.
2. And having exiled Vice, accuſtom your Family to ſome Devotion, cauſe them diligently to hear the Word on the Lord's Day, and on other occaſions offered; bring them to the Church, or publique Congregation, and ſee that they do there both religiouſly and reverently behave themſelves, during the time of the publique Worſhip: And that being ended, and the Congregation diſmiſſed, examine them touching what they have heard, that they may profit both in Knowledg and Obedience: Invite them alſo to frequent the holy Sacrament, according to their Condition and Capacity: Aſſemble them at the Evening, or ſome convenient time in the Day, to ſome Devout and Pious Exerciſe; ſee likewiſe how they are inſtructed in the Articles of Faith.
3. Behave your ſelves Wiſely and Sincerely before your Children and Servants; for your Example will do more than all your Words; the Life and Converſation of a good Maſter and Miſtreſs, is a good Monitor in a Houſe. We live in an Age wherein we have more need of Patterns than Precepts. Servants adhere to the Pillars of an Houſe, as Ivy to great Trees. It is good that ye be liberal according to your Means; in ordering your Family, be honourable in ſuch Expences as are requiſite both for Neceſſity and Decorum: For if Nets be uſeful to take Fiſhes, Liberality is a Golden Hook to take Men. Manage your Dignity and Place in ſuch a way, as is neither, Harſh, Imperious, nor Arrogant: But let your Carriage be Mild, Affable, and Communicative: Shew Love and Tenderneſs to your Servants. A Chriſtian Servant muſt be in the place of a beloved Brother, or Siſter, and ſo to be received. Philem. v. 16. Think alſo how you may do them good, as well as how to be benefited by their Service. God required the Iſraelites, that they ſhould not rule over their Servants with Rigour, Levit. 25.43. Ye muſt temper your Power with Mercy, laying aſide threatning to your Servants, Epheſ. 6.9. that is, Huckſter-like, menacing of them for every Trifle: For many ſevere Maſters and Miſtreſſes can ſcarce ſpeak to their Servants, but they muſt call them Knave, Raſcal, Quean, Drab, &c. threatning to throw ſomething at their Heads, to give them that which will ſtick by them, &c. This kind of threatning their Servants the Apoſtle doth forbid. But on the other hand, take heed leſt through Indiſcretion, ye run out of one extream into another; for he that bringeth up a Servant daintily, ſhall have enough of it. Let me adviſe you alſo, to retain a decent and moderate Gravity in your Deportment, that the Stamp which God ſets on thoſe he calleth to Offices and Places of Government, may not be debaſed.
Finally, In all your Affairs, invoke God's Aſſiſtance, and to give you Wiſdom to know what is pleaſing to Him, and that you may put it in Execution. If your Project or Enterpriſe have good Iſſue, give the praiſe unto God, and an example of Modeſty unto your Neighbour: But if Buſineſs keep not time to your Will, learn you to keep time to the Divine Providence, which maketh all Harmony in the World; as one adviſeth: Though you may have power over your Deſigns, yet ye have no power over their Events. But above all, look into your Self, as the firſt piece of your Government; let your Conſcience be pure and peaceable, and herein do you exerciſe your ſelves, to have always a Conſcience void of offence toward God, and toward Men, ſpeaking and doing every thing with much Conſideration, and never ſlighting or deſpiſing the Counſel of thoſe, that are able to adviſe you. Keep the thoughts of God's Preſence always in your thoughts, and teſtifie it by the deſire you have to pleaſe him in all Places, Occaſions, and Actions: Dedicate all your Works to him before you begin them; and having finiſhed them, remember always to ſet upon them the ſeal of Thanſgiving due to his Divine Majeſty.