A Week of Soliloquies and Prayers, Prayer book

A Week of Soliloquies and Prayers · Prayer book

p. 1A WEEKE of Soliloquies and Prayers.

For MUNDAY.

Psal. xxxviii. ver. v.

For mine iniquities are gone over my head, as an heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

Soliloquy

THe life of a faithful soul is a journ…y to God. And I praise his mercy, that p. 2I feel within me a sincere desire to be a traveller in that journey. For I know that to draw near unto God is my good, and to draw back from him is certain perdition.

But when I endeavour to rise up to God, I feel a heavie burden of the flesh lying upon the wings of my devotion, that keepeth it down. Then the number of my sins fills me with shame, and the high justice and holiness of God strikes me with terrour. For if the Seraphins cover their p. 3faces with their wings before him as not holy enough to behold that holiest of holies, how can I appear before him with my weak unclean nature? how can the stuble stand before that consuming fire?

I see then that to rise up to God, the first round of the ladder is humilitie. I see that if I will be acquitted I must condemn my self, and that my judge will not pronounce me guiltless till I plead guiltie.

Woe is me! I have to much cause for it. When I consider what p. 4I have received of God, and what I have repayed him. He hath created me after his image, and I have disfigured it by sin. He hath made me for his glorie, and I have sought mine own. He hath shone upon me with the light of his truth, and I have not walked in his light.

He hath bought me with the precious bloud of his beloved son, and I did not deliver to him that, which he bought at so dear a rate. My body and my soul belong to him by right p. 5of creation, redemption, and preservation; and I did not worthily glorifie him in my body, and in my spirit which are his. How many graces have I received of his liberality. And what account can I give him of the use I put them to? What thanks did I give him for supplying my wants, and helping me out of my dangers? How many times instead of thanks, when he defended me I offended him, and he while I offended him defended me, as if his goodness and mine unthankfulness p. 6had bin striving for masterie?

Salomon tells me that to punish the just it is not good. Nor to strike Princes for equitie. Yet it is the usage that I have offered to my God. I have stricken at the just one and the justice it self, by grieving his good spirit. And that just one is my Prince. And it is for his equitie and forbearance that I abused him, for had he sunck me into hell when I was wilfully sinking into sin; had he not continued unto me life p. 7strength and plentie, I could not have imployed his benefits to offend my benefactor as I have done. Pro. 27.26.

How slackly, how overly have I performed the duties of his service! what gadding of my thoughts in my prayers! What coldness in my devotion! What neglect of good works! Have I heard his word with attention! Have I meditated on it with affection! Have I kept it with sinceritie! And when God toucht me with p. 8his good Spirit, did I readily receive and entertain his good motions! Did I open to him every time that he knockt, and said to me as to the Spouse, open to me my sister my love! Did I not rather despise the riches of his goodness and forbearance and long suffering, not knowing, or (which is worse) not minding that the goodness of God leadeth me to repentance! How slowly do I stir to raise my thoughts to God, and how quick are my motions towards the p. 9world! How easily am I intangled with unbeleeving cares and fears, and lulled with the deceitfulness of wordly hopes? Poor soul that aspirest to heaven thy country, what a strange aire dost thou live in? where the world engrosseth all the time, and one cannot think of God but by stealth, what a fleshly prison art thou confined in, where Piety is languishing and sin is lively? Where nature helpeth her captivitie and feareth her libertie? O wretched soul p. 10that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death! Cant. 5.2. Rom. 7.24.

PRAYER.

O Great God, whose majestie is infinite, the holiness perfect, the eyes all seeing, and the justice formidable. I am cast down with shame and confusion of face, when I think how pure thou art and how impure I am; herein the more guiltie because thou hast created me after thine image, and endowed p. 11me with thy holy knowledge, honouring me so much as to acknowledge me for one of thy children in thy son Jesus Christ; which high grace ought to have made me studious to become like my Father which is in heaven. Thou hast given me holy lawes, thou hast compassed me about with loving kindness and tender mercies, thou hast comforted my soule with thy saving promises; but I have transgressed thy lawes, abused thy tender mercies, and turned p. 12the comfort of thy saving promises into an occasion of carnal securitie. I have bin active for the world and slow in thy service, I have sought mine own things more then the things of the Lord Jesus: this deceitful world hath many times stolen my love which to thee only is due. And the subjects thou hast given me to love and glorifie thee, I have misaplied to the contrary, being with-drawn from thee by thy benefits which should have drawn me to thee with p. 13cords of humanitie. I have cumbred my minde with diffident cares, and fears offensive to thy love and providence, whereas I should have cast all my cares upon thee for thou carest for me: how many faults of presumption; how many faults of errour, how many secret faults do I daily commit before thee the holy one, and the just that hatest iniquitie and justifiest not the wicked! And how far am I from that holiness requisite in words, in thoughts, in actions and p. 14more in affections to walk in thy presence! O great and holy God, that seest all, that judgest all, and searchest the hearts and reins! I have sinned what shall I do to thee thou preserver of men? O Lord that hatest not the work of thy hands, what doest thou expect of me a sinful creature, but that I humble and condemn my self before thy justice, and then by a faith working by love appeal from thy justice to thy merciemercy? O Father of mercies, though I am a great p. 15sinner, yet am I in a condition to present unto thee an acceptable sacrifice, since the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart O God thou wilt not despise. Our hearts are never whole before thee till they be broken, and they can not be broken until thou break them thy self by thy good spirit, with the wholsome bruise of repentance. Our hearts are hard till thy self make them soft; and our lips close in matter of confessing our sines, and p. 16thy praises untill thou open them. Here is then Lord the beginning of my hope; yea of my confidence, while I am sitting in the ashes and tears of my contrition. For this contrition is the work of thy grace in me, seeing that in me aiddeth no good; and my serious displeasure to have offended thee, and my desire to return unto thee is the action of thy spirit drawing me to make me run after thee. Iob. 7.20. Psal. 51.17.

O Lord there is forgiveness with thee that p. 17thou maiest be feared. If we were not sinners, in vain had thy beloved Son come into the world; and the grievousness of my sins provoketh the greatness of thy merciemercy. The greatest sins are covered with the merit of thy Saviour Jesus, as the tops of the highest hills were covered with the waters of the flood. Psal. 130.

O my God whom I have so much offended, I will not adde unto my other sins that of incredulitie: I will imbrace thy holy promises p. 18that whosoever beleeveth in Jesus Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life, yea that he that beleeveth on him though he were dead yet shall he live. Lord I beleeve help thou my unbelief; make me to hear joy and gladness that the bones which thou haste broken may rejoyce. Hide thy face from my sins and blot out all mine iniquities. Restore unto me joy of thy Salvation and uphold me with thy free spirit. Joh. 3.16. Psal. 51.

Truly I have sin in p. 19my bosome which is a worse death then the natural. But there by thy grace I have also the sparks of faith which is the life of the soul. O increase them thou holy and good spirit. And since the righteous shall live by faith, O God give me a faith that may frame in me the life of righteousness, and endow me with righteousness that I may live by faith. Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me. Lord Jesu who being made guiltie for me p. 20hast taken away the guilt of my sin be pleased also to take away the iniquitie of the same. For that which is most terrible to me in my sin is not the terrour of thy judgements, it is sin it self. It is sin that frights me with its ugliness, that confounds me with its enormitie, that breaks my back with its weight. Mine iniquities are gone over my head as an heavie burden, they are too heavie for me. O great deliverer of the captive and the oppressed, thou p. 21that sayest come unto me all yee that are wearie and heavie laden and I will ease you, I, come to thee wearie and heavie laden with the weight of my sins. Ease me O my Saviour according to thy good promises, free me from the yoke of iniquitie and so strengthen me with thy free spirit that I may lay aside every weight and the sin that doth so easily be-set me, and that I may run with patience the race that is set before me, looking unto the Lord Jesu the author p. 22and finisher of my faith. To whom with thy father and thy good spirit be glory for ever Amen.

Psal. 51. Mat. 11.28.

p. 23For TUESDAY.

Rom. v. Verse I.

Therefore being justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Soliloquie

WHich way soever I look upon the world whether I consider the extent of all his regions, or the variety of events, or the multiplicitie of conditions of men, or the succession of years since the first sin till now; I find in all times and places the lamentable p. 24effects of the dissention between God and man. In man I see a general and opiniatre Apostacie from his maker, his thoughts are far from God, his affections are deboished from his love, his actions are opposite to his commandements. Yea, he goeth about to perswade himself that God is but a Chimera invented by Princes to keep the subject in awe. The fool hath said in his heart there is no God. For though he cannot say so much in his understanding that convinceth p. 25him of the contrary, yet he entertaineth it in his heart, because he wisheth it were so; there being nothing more terrible to a fellon then to think on his Judge. Out of that enmitie against God proceed all the wicked deeds that are committed in the world, those heaps of iniquitie that strike heaven with their height, and make the earth groan under their weight. I see on the other side how God justly irritated sheweth forth by his judgements p. 26the quarrel he hath against man, making the Summer to scorch him, the winter to chil him, his ground to be barren, his ayre to be Pestiferous, the storms to beat him, the sea to wrack him, vermin to consume him, wilde beasts to tear him, hurts and sicknesses, to torment his body, care and remorse to torture his soule, and the world to be punisht by his own wickedness; for what else are robberies by sea and land, violences of war and oppressions of law, but p. 27punishments that men inflict one upon another for rebelling against God? And yet that which is seen of Gods judgements is nothing to that which is not seen, the torments of conscience and that lake of fire and brimston prepared for Gods enemies, where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, wherer there is wailing and gnashing of teeth, where the torment hath no end, because the enmitie with God hath none. Psal. 14.1.

And when from about p. 28me I turn mine eyes within me there I finde to my great grief a remnant of that carnal minde which is enmitie against God; the flesh lusteth against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary the one to the other so that I cannot do the things that I would. And I cannot but impute all my crosses, and all mine infirmities of body, and troubles of minde, to that old quarrel that God hath against sin. But I suffer nothing but what is common to the p. 29children of God that have peace with him through Jesus Christ our Lord. For while the indignation of God is spread over the perverse world, and the children of God themselves are not exempt of it in this world, because they are not yet altogether exempt of perversness: Yet among these remnants of sin, and in the midst of the wages of sin which are death and affliction, the peace of God which passeth all undetstanding keepeth their hearts and p. 30mindes through Jesus Christ. Phil. 4.7. And they feel within a holy perswasion that their peace is made with God. How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace, that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth Salvation, that saith unto Sion thy God reigneth? Esa. 52.4. O acceptable news to me that am conceived in iniquitie, and by nature a child of wrath even as others, that God speaketh to my heart and p. 31there crieth that my iniquitie is pardoned, that I have received of the Lords hand double for all my sins! Yea, though my many sins were a hundred times more numerous, God my judge hath received double satisfaction for them, so precious is the merit of my Saviour, so effectual is the vertue of his death which he suffered for me. That great peace is offered to all, but received by few. Christ came unto his own and his own received him not, but as many as p. 32received him to them gave he power to become the sons of God even to them that beleeve on his name. I bless his grace I am one of them that have received him, and he dwelling in my heart through faith, which himself hath given me, assureth me that of an enemie by nature I am become one of his children. He that dwelleth in the high and holy place, with him also that is of an humble and contrite spirit, Isa. 57.15. is pleased to make his dwelling within me by p. 33his gracious presence, and there to set his throne of peace, whereby he stilleth the storm of my perplexities, cares, and fears, of that fear especially that makes one for fear of death to be all his life subject unto bondage. Heb. 2.15. By the grace of my God I fear not death eternal, for my Saviour hath swallowed it in victorie. I fear not the temporal, for that great Saviour hath sanctified it, and changed its nature by his death, making it from a gate of Hell, p. 34that it was, the gate of heaven to them that beleeve on him.

From this state of grace and peace I look as from a safe harbour upon the tempests that are raised abroad, by the turbulent perversitie of men destitute of the grace of God; who also justly powreth upon them the vials of his wrath. Great empires are shaking, Monarchies are hurled down. Men teare one another with wars and lawsuits, and mine interesses are not free from the tossing of p. 35the general. But among that tumult I injoy within the peace of my God; and my heart is a sanctuarie where God dwells with me and I with him. If he send me afflictions it is onelyonly to multiplie his comforts, and shew his marvelous loving kindness by saving me by his right hand. Psa. 17.7. He hath delivered me from eternal pains, and sanctifieth the temporal for my good. He makes his rod like that of Aaron to bring me both fruits and flowers. I am assured p. 36that all that he sends me is good, since it comes from the hand of my God and Father, and that finally he will make me victorious, triumphing of all the enmitie of Satan, the world, and the flesh; and receive me into his great eternal peace, clad with the righteousness of my Saviour. For being justified by faith I have peace with God through Jesus Christ my Lord.

p. 37PRAYER

ALmightie God and merciful father, who teachest me by thine Apostle that merciemercy rejoyceth against judgement; Jam. 2.13. I praise and glorifie thee with all mine affections, that thou makest me finde in my conscience the exposition of that holy doctrine. For when I consider the general condemnation of the wicked world, living in natural enmitie against thee, and that my self being born in p. 38that condemnation, nevertheless it pleaseth thee to speak peace to my soul, and seal in my heart the remission of my sins by a lively faith, I am rapt up with an holy admiration, and deeply toucht with humilitie, joy, gratefulness, and love, looking with bowed head and fixt eyes into the depths of thy mercy.

O what depth of merciemercy that thou great God of infinite Majestie and power hast given thine own son to redeem our enemies! p. 39That thine eternal son hath taken my flesh to give me thy spirit, that he hath suffered death to give me life, that he hath born the weight of thy wrath to give me thy peace. That whereas I was by nature a child of wrath I am adopted now into the rights of thy children! Father of mercies O that I might know thy merciemercy enough to love thee enough! O God of my Lord Jesus Christ the father of glory. Give me the spirit of wisdom and Revelation in the p. 40knowledge of him. The eyes of my understanding being inlightened that I may know what is the hope of thy calling, and what the riches of the glorie of thine inheritance in the Saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of thy power towards us who beleeve according to the working of thy mightie power which thou hast wrought in Christ. Ephe. 1.17. O Christ the great and only mediator of my peace with thy father, how shall I ever sufficiently comprehend the excellencie of thy love and the p. 41greatness of thy benefits! I am naturally defiled with iniquitie, but thou hast washt me in thy blood. My sins are a heavie burden, but thou hast born them upon thine own shoulders. I am guiltie before the juditial throne of thy father, but I am acquitted by thine intercession. I am unrighteous, but thou hast covered me with thy merit. Nay, Father, I am no more unrighteous before thy justice, I am righteous by the rightecusness of thy son. p. 42O father of my Lord Jesus Christ, thou seest no more iniquitie in me, for thou seest nothing about me but the obedience of thy son wherein I am inwrapt all about by faith. I appear now before thee all righteous holy and blameless, since it pleaseth thee to look upon me through the merit of thy righteous son. Who shall lay any thing to my charge since Christ justifieth me? Rom. 8.33. And how canst thou condemn me if the righteousness of thy son be upon me? My God I p. 43am so far from expecting condemnation for my sins, that I expect recompence for the righteousness of thy son, now mine own. And no less recompence I expect then the kingdome of heaven, for no recompence is too great for the merit of Iesus Christ which is mine.

That harvest, by thy grace, is sure to me; but it is yet in the blade. Yet I feel the eare shooting forth within me by thy peace which passeth all understanding, whereby I am p. 44made certain that thou art my father, that Jesus Christ is my Saviour, that thy Kingdom is mine inheritance.

But because sin liveth still in me, and the flesh is stubborn, the world setting upon me, now with seductions now with open hostilitie, aad Satans continual work is to trouble the peace of thy children by casting new guilt upon their conscience, I beseech thee, O great Prince of peace, to come thy self, and take in thy hands the reignes of mine affections, p. 45keeping them in obedience under the empire of thy spirit; That being ever ruled by him I never break peace with thee by any rebellion. That being justified by faith I be sanctified by the same. That my peace being made with thee by the merit of my Saviour I hate sin which is the discord and hostilitie against thee, bringing trouble to the conscience, and setting the soul at variance with her self. Let righteousness and peace kiss each other in my soul. p. 46Psal. 85. Let thy peace in my heart bring forth that right use declared by thy word, that thou wilt speak peace unto thy people and to thy Saints, that they may turn no more unto follie. Psal. 85.8. Do this, O God of peace, for the love of thy son our peace-maker. To whom with thee and thy holy spirit that sealeth thy peace in our hearts, be glorie for evermore. Amen

p. 47For WEDNESDAY.

Rom. 6. ver. 21. 22.

What fruit had ye then in those things whereof you are now ashamed, for the end of those things is death.

But now being made free from sin and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.

Soliloquy

HOw imperfect is the condition of the faithful soul in this world! After I have p. 48left sin by repentance, and lift up my heart to God by faith, I must yet look back upon sin with sorrow. For though I leave it, it will not leave me; I have condemned it, but I have not yet crucified it. I shake it, but I cannot make it ungrasp.

Yet, blessed be God, it hath not that rule over me, which it had before: for Christ who hath freed me from Hell, hath now begun that freedome in me by cutting off many bonds of sin, that factor p. 49of hell which layeth us asleep, and then binds us to deliver us up to the Devil. The sins that tempted my desire, now move mine indignation, and affright me more with their ugliness then ever they allured me with their smiles.

And as all things help together for good unto them that love God, the remembrance of my sin teacheth me to hate it. For what fruit did I reap but shame by sinning? And yet that is the best that comes out of it. p. 50For it is far worse when by sin we lose shame and get impudence and hardness.

What a shame is it to me to have subjected this beam of the Godhead, mine intelligent soul, to things far under me, to have captivated the spirit under the flesh, and (as far as lay in me,) God under the world? What a shame to have ventured the loss of my birth-right for a poor Mess, & more respected the favour or d…sfavour of men then of God, whose all-seeing eyes do alwayes p. 51look upon me and into me? Yet it is no more shameful then true that I have offended my God that created me after his image, redeemed me by the blood of his son, sealed me by his spirit, and preserved me by his providence.

And what had become of me if God justly angrie had given me over to the pride of life, and the charming vanitie of this wicked world? For the end of those things is death. That vanitie is a Syren which drawes us on with smiles and fair p. 52words to cast us headlong. It is a smooth stream which carrieth them that float upon it into a gulf of perdition. It is a captivitie ending in death like that of rebels overcome in battel, which are put to the sword. And this is the fruit of the bondage of sin.

Whereas being made free from sin and become servants of God we have our fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. God by his great merciemercy hath freed me from Hell altogether, and already p. 53from sin in part; but I shall lose the last and best part of that freedome, and the first also in the end, if I turn my libertie into licentiousness. For Christ hath not freed me from the bondage of Satan that I should have no master, but being made free from sin I am become a servant of righteousness. Rom. 6.17.

In Countries where slaves are sold, who ever bought a servant to have no service from him? And shall not God who is as wise as he is merciful get service p. 54from those whom he hath bought by the blood of his son and freed by his Spirit? Good reason he should. I am the Lords freed servant, and therefore his servant because I am freed by him, for therefore he freed me that I might serve him. As on the other side I am free because I am his servant, for in his service lieth the soveraign libertie of the creature; and he truly reigneth, and he only, that subjecteth himself wholy to God, for then he is master at home, commanding p. 55his desires and affections in Gods right. Whereas he that subjecteth not himself to him is the servant of sin, and liveth miserable under his unruly passions, as in a distracted common wealth torn between many pettie tyrants.

Come then, my soul, let us labour to perfect that freedome which God hath already wrought in us by his good spirit. Let us break what remains in us of the bonds of sin, which tie us still too fast to the world and p. 56the flesh. Let us stand fast in the libertie wherewith Christ hath made us free, and let us not be intangled again with the yoak of bondage. Gal. 5.1. O what goodly fruit, what blessed end is brought forth by this spiritual freedome! The fruit thereof is unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. First, the fruit of holiness, then the end everlasing life, a divine and inviolable order. I must not hope to have for the end everlasting life, unless I yeeld before the fruit of holiness. p. 57And with good reason holiness is called a fruit, since it feeds our faith, which is our spiritual life. If I be holie, I reap all the fruit of my holiness. And what greater fruit can a faithful soul conceive then to please him that loved her so much? God in his goodness will take …are to give me eternal life; but the care that I must take is, that I may walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge p. 58of God. Col. 1.10. But for that I must humbly crave his help

PRAYER.

MY Saviour Jesus, who hast loved me and washed me from my sins in thy blood, and hast presented me arrayed and deckt with thy pretious merit unto God thy Father: the more thy grace is admirable towards me, the more am I ashamed and grieved, that any thing displeasing unto thee should remain yet within me. The remembrance p. 59of my sins past is displeasing unto me, and much more the sense of the present. I have a deep sorrow that I have offended thee, but more that I offend thee still. O when shall the full deliverance come when all the bonds of sin shall be cut off, when there will be no more cloud between heaven and me that stop the passage of prayer, and no more weight that keep the spirit from rising to thee?

O Lord Jesu who hast pluckt me out of the p. 60jawes of Hell by thy victorie over death, be pleased to compleat thy conquest in my soul. For I shall not account my self fully redeemed till I be rescued from the power of sin; and that is the principal end of thy comming, that is the principal effect of thine obedience. I learn of thine Angel fore-runner and foreteller of thy birth, that thou bearest the name of Jesus, because thou savest thy people from their sins. Mat. 1.21. There is with thee plentious redemption, and thou p. 61shalt vedeem Israel from all his iniquities. Psal. 130.7. Lord it is that plenteous redemption that my soul longeth for; I cannot be contented with less, then to be redeemed from all mine iniquities. I cannot conceive neither Salvation nor libertie without it.

Therefore will I call upon thee to be freed from sin, I will my self labour for it with all mine endeavour. And the freedome which it hath pleased thee to begin within me, kindleth my desire and provoketh p. 62my diligence to bring it to perfection. Yea, Lord I will say after thy servant David, I will walk at libertie, for I seek thy precepts, Psal. 119 45. being assured that I shall finde in thy service perfect freedome. O what freedome; yea, what empire shall my soul possess, when she shall be altogether subjected to thy good spirit, who in recompence will subject this rebellious flesh unto the more spiritual part of the soul, this flesh which so often raiseth, even in faithful p. 63hearts, a partie against God; and sets on the passions to shake off the majistracy of pietie and reason.

O Son of God who makest us free and then wee are free indeed. Joh. 8.36. I desire not to be free to make libertie a covering of maliciousness, or to turn thy grace into wantonness. I desire but to change one service for another, the service to sin for the service to righteousness, I desire to be free that I may be thy servant; yea, that I may serve thee with p. 64full libertie, freely bestowing all the powers and faculties of my soul upon thy service, and making my heart a burnt offering, a living Sacrifice, holie acceptable unto thee, which is my reasonable service.

O God and father of my Lord Jesus Christ, thou hast sanctified me in some measure by thy Spirit, because thou hadst before redeemed me by thy Son; but I long for the perfect stature: all is not well with me till I have the full measure. And how far I am yet p. 65from it, it grieves me to think on. But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behinde, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3.13. O Lord if I have the grace sincerely to press towards the mark, I cannot miss the prize of thy high calling. Give me but the grace to press towards the mark, and I leave to thy goodness the care of bestowing the prize upon p. 66me. Let thy Sabbath be my delights, thy word my food, thy will my rule, thy commandements my business, and thy promises my incouragement. I long more to be sanctified then to be glorified; and I long to be glorious that I may be holie. But it is of thee, O Lord, that I must expect both: draw me, O Lord, and I shall run after thee. Cant. 1.4. Turn me and I shall be turned. Jer. 3.19. Teach me to do thy will for thou art my God. p. 67Psal. 143.10. Work in me both to will and to do according to thy good pleasure. Phil. 2.13. For thy Sons sake, and by thy Spirit, and perfect my holiness for thy glorie. Amen.

p. 68For THURSDAY.

Psal. 116. Verse 12.

What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me?

Soliloquy.

IT is the querulous and ungrateful humour of man to keep an exact reckoning of his afflictions, most of which are but imaginarie, and to murmur against God, but to forget his benefits, and take no notice of them, no not when he fills p. 69himself with them. Although there is none so afflicted upon earth, but hath more reason to thank God then to complain, though he had nothing but life and the way open for repentance.

To praise God for his graces is the highest dutie of the Christian, and together his highest felicitie. It is the everlasting imployment of glorious soules in heaven to praise God for his salvation, crying with a loud voice, Salvation belongs to our God which sitteth upon p. 70the Throne and to the Lamb. To which the armies of Angels answer, Amen, blessing and glorie and wisdome and thanksgiving and honour and power and might be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen.

Let us now, my soul, joyne with that consort of heavenly praises. Let us anticipate the date of our felicitie, singing our part already in the musique of Angels. And what have I else to render unto God for his benefits, but to employ for his praise the gift he p. 71made to me of a soul capable and desirous to know him, to love him, and to praise him?

But when I come to think on that numerous universalitie of all Gods benefits upon me, I feel my meditation swallowed up in a bottomless gulf. Nature, providence, and grace call me all three together to admiration and thankfulness.

Nature as the nearest presents me to my felf, and shewing me my body made with such divine art and symmetrie, p. 72teacheth me to say with David, I will praise the Lord for I am wonderfully made. Psal. 139.14. In that bodie God hath lodged a soul stamped with his own image, endowed with reason, and inabled with intellectual faculties. To comprehend what I owe to God for my bodie only, I should value every piece one by one, and think what I would refuse to part with them. What would I take for one of my arms? Not Millions. What for an eye? Not a whole p. 73world. What then for both? What for health and life? I must account that I possess as much treasure as I would refuse, rather then be deprived of every one, and of any one of these natural goods; and upon that account I must estimate my obligation, and the greatness of my debt to my great benefactor.

How much then do I owe unto God for my soul, which is the breath and the living image of God, in comparison of which this bodie which we so p. 74much value is of no value. To understand my obligation to God for my soul I should know her nature and her work. That knowledge is too wonderful for me. But as darkness teacheth us to value the light. I learn to admire the value of a soul in her right sense, when I see one out of it, a man become a beast. It strikes me with horrour, and makes me exclaim, how much am I indebted to God, for giving and preserving unto me a reasonable soul?

p. 75And when from within I look without, what a numberless multitude of benefits of God are crowding about me! the earth that bears me, the aire which I breath, the heaven that shines upon me, the plentie of nature that feeds me, her varietie that delights me, the several creatures that serve me. What readiness, what utilitie, what dutiful attendance of so many good things which God made for me!

And all these goods of nature are managed p. 76by his providence for my use. To providence I owe the goodness of my Father, the tenderness of my mother, that loving care whereby I was brought up from the cradle, supported in the infirmitie of mine infancie, and conducted in the simplicitie of my youth. To the provident care of my heavenly Father I owe the sucking, next after my nurses milk, of the principles of pietie and honestie, which to me since have been preservatives against those mischiefes p. 77which I have seen others run into for want of good breeding. When I see so many persons disfigured with sickness, their limbs broken, their bodie spoiled by sad accidents; others groaning under the lash of ill renown, perhaps wrongfully, some miserable out of want, some out of plentie, some opprest by wicked neighbours, some by their own melancholy, I cannot but think my self well used, notwithstanding all the infirmities within and p. 78difficulties without, which I must wrestle with. And I must exalt the bountie of God, who so carefully preserveth my person, my peace, and my reputation.

What private helps did God send me in the publick ruines! What wayes did he open to me where there was no way! How graciously, how miraculously did he make Manna fall before me when bread failed, and wrought for me a subsistence out of the hardest natures and businesses, as it p. 79were fetching water out of the rock! How loving are his very chastenings, denying me the things that I desired, to give me better then I desired; and sending me the things that I feared, to make them occasions of blessings!

I should never have done numbring the benefits of his providence; but here his grace interrupteth the reckoning ascribing to her self all the blessings both of providence and nature. For it is out of that love before all p. 80times in his beloved son, that he feedeth me and furnisheth me with all the goods of nature, and assigneth his Angels for my keepers which carry me in their hands.

But what are all these great benefits but small productions of the inestimable treasures of that grace whereby I enter upon all the rights of Gods children? Oh that I could once apprehend what a high grace it is to have God for my father, Christ for my brother, his kingdome p. 81for mine inheritance, yea, God himself for my portion for ever? How gracious is his redemption! How free is his pardon! How precious is his loving kindeness! What fulness of joy is at his right hand! What eternal pleasures in the contemplation of his face! And in that expectation, how comfortable is the presence of his good spirit in my heart, giving me eares to hear his word, and a sincere desire to keep it, strengthening me in my troubles, raising p. 82me in my falls, wounding my soul with contrition for my sins, and then healing it with faith in his promises! O pretious guest! O blessed company! O Paradise upon earth! O beginning of the kingdome of heaven! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holie name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Psal. 103.1.

p. 83PRAYER.

MOst merciful Father when I compare mine indignitie with the greatness of thy benefits, I feel in my heart a compound of humble repentance and heartie thankfulness. For what am I by nature but a child of wrath, conceived in iniquitie, which original corruption I have since increased with innumerable actual transgressions? And yet, Lord, where sin abounded thy grace hath abounded much more, p. 84and thine infinite love hath prevented me when I was thine enemie. Lord who am I, that thou great maker and Soveraign of heaven and earth, possest with infinite glorie, and dwelling in a light not to be approacht unto, wouldest grace me so much as to make me one of thy children, and inrich me with the inheritance of thy kingdome? That thou wouldest give me thy beloved son for the price of my redemption, which I may present unto thee by faith? p. 85That thou wouldest give me thy good spirit to seal my adoption, and work my regeneration, and say to my soul, soul, I am thy Salvation.

With what wonders of mercy was that Salvation purchased for me? Thine only son in whom thou art well pleased must put on an infirm flesh like unto mine, to make me like unto him by his good spirit. He must make himself a servant to make me free. He must suffer death to give me life. He must p. 86crie, my God my God why hast thou forsaken me, to bring me back to my God whom I had forsaken. He must overcome death to intitle me to his victorie. He must ascend into heaven, and there sit at the right hand of his Father, that I might be blest with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. Ephe. 1.3.

O Father of mercies, the great, the good, the wonderful, be pleased to adde to these thy mercies one more, even the thankfulness p. 87of my heart, answerable, as far as mans capacitie can reach, to the greatness of the obligation. O that thou wouldest grant me according to the riches of thy glorie to be strengthened with might by thy spirit in the inner man. That Christ may dwell in my heart by faith, that I being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all Saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge, that I may be filled with p. 88all the fulness of God. Ephe. 3.16.

Most gracious God I expect from the riches of thy glorie to be filled in heaven with all thy fulness, by the blessed contemplation of thy face. But even in this present weak condition of mine, be pleased to powre into me some drops of that fulness, enough to fill this small frail vessel with thy love, and a feeling resentment of thy bountie. And as all things about me speak to me of thy love, so let all things help me p. 89to be thankful, and to acknowledge and love him that loved me so much in Jesus Christ.

'Tis true, Lord, that even thine enemies enjoy out of thy bountie the light and heat of the Sun, and the fertilitie of the earth, and in thee live and move and have their being. But I enjoy all these benefits with a better title and relish in the very bread which I eate, and in the aire which I breath, thine eternal love in thy beloved son. For since thou hast elected me in p. 90him, and redeemed me by him, it is by him also and for his sake, that thou preservest my bodie and soul which he hath redeemed, and makest me to injoy the promises of the life that now is, and of that which is to come. 1 Tim. 4.8.

What shall I render unto thee Lord for all thy benefits towards me? With what fatherly care hast thou fed preserved, and defended me? What help of thy providence didst thou make me finde in the whole p. 91course of my life? With what vigilance and wisdome hast thou made me a way through a thousand dangers that be set me? With what compassion hast thou held me up when I was falling, and guided me when I went astray? How graciously hast thou moved me to repentance by thy word, by thy spirit, by thy gifts, by thy rods, sometimes pulling me with fear as plucking me out of the fire, sometimes drawing me with love by temporal comforts, and by p. 92the sweetness of thy promises? How quick and powerful are the comforts of thy spirit, assuring me of thy reconciliation with me, and giving me a foretaste of eternal life?

Among thy many blessings I reckon it for a merciemercy, Lord, that thou didst not leave me without discipline, but hast exercised me with thy chastenings to awake my faith, warm my zeal, and make me to have recourse to the shelter of that very hand that smote me. I praise thee p. 93for not giving me all my desires in this world, that my heart might be weaned from it. O Soveraign Physician, in thy hand even poisons are remedies; and thou never didst send me affliction but in the end turned into a blessing, by thy wonderful wayes which fetch light out of darkness. Thus Lord, which way soever I look, whether to prosperitie or adversitie, whether to the goods of this world, or those of a better, whether to my desires frustrated, p. 94or to thy liberalitie in thy son which passeth all my desires, I finde my self in all things obliged to glorifie thee.

What then shall I render unto thee for so many benefits? Lord I have nothing but thine. Then all that is thine I will render unto thee. I will consecrate unto thee this body and soul which thou hast made and redeemed, and so carefully preserved. I will employ mine understanding to meditate on thee, my heart to love thee, my mouth p. 95to praise thee, all my faculties to obey and please thee. And because my goodness extendeth not to thee, I will endeavour to make it extend to the Saints are in the earth, Psal. 16.2. according to the measure of my abilitie; and to feed and cloath my Saviour Jesus in his members, as he hath fed me with the bread of life, and clothed me with the cloak of his righteousness, besides his care of me for the temporal. My God give me holy resolutions which p. 96may be attended with holy actions. My God grant that my life may be a continual thanksgiving in affections, in words, and in works. My soul doth magnifie the Lord and my spirit rejoyceth in God my Saviour, for he hath regarded the lowliness of his servant. Unto him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood, and hath made us Kings and Priests unto God and his Father; to him be glorie and dominion for ever Amen.

p. 97For FRIDAY.

1 John 11. Vers. 15.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Soliloquy.

HOw high is this lesson, and how unwelcome to the sense of the flesh! But how beneficial to them that understand and practise it! God commands me not to hate mankinde, nor to hate the wicked, in which signification p. 98the world sometimes is taken in Scripture. Much less doth he command me to hate that great and precious work of his, heaven and earth. It is so compleat and handsome and bears such lively characters of the wisedome, power, and bountie of his Maker, that it is impossible to see it and not delight in it. For without extending my thoughts upon all the plentie and varietie wherewith God hath inricht this fine nature, for the service of man, who sees p. 99not that the great creatour had a purpose to delight him and make him in love with his works, by the singing of birds, the smell and colour of flowers, the pleasantness of prospects, and the glorie of the stars, wherewith the roof of this great palace is adorned?

But there is within this world another world which God forbids me to love, and he is pleased to give me a reason for it, for all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride p. 100of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. 1 Joh. 2.16. That world is the world of the Devil, which he hath created within the world of God. For whereas God in the creation set light out of darkness, Satan fetcheth darkness out of light, making the excellent creatures of God his instruments of temptation and inticements to evil.

But how easily do we pass from the world of God to the world of the Devil, how insensibly the admiration of p. 101the beautie and goodness of creatures degenerates into the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life! How hard is it to use this world and not abuse it, and set just limits which we never overpass, to that love which it is lawful for us to bear to creatures! Yet as hard as it is, it is necessarie. For if we love the world the love of the Father is not in us. There is in every soul a master-love that subjects all other affections to it; that master-love is due p. 102to the Father; to give it to the world, and to the Father together we cannot. And there can be no more two masters in a soul then in a kingdome. To love any thing but God and not for his sake is a sacriledge that transports to another what we owe to him alone. And when we love any thing without relation to God, we come shortly to love it above him, for to love both equally we cannot, we love alwayes the one more then the other.

The comparison being p. 103infinitely unequal between God and the world, reason with little instruction will be brought to give her verdict for God, and adjudge him the love and possession of the soul. But at the same time the world gets into the soul without leave of reason, finding alwayes the five doores of the senses open to him, and the imagination fit and adequate to his objects. God is not in all the thoughts of the wicked, Psal. 10.4 and hardly settleth in the thoughts p. 104of the best; because of the great disparitit between the nature of that high and pure spirit, and our low and impure flesh. We love the world by nature, and God against nature, before his spirit hath so far inlightned our mindes, and wrought upon our hearts, as to make us apprehend that we subsist in God, and that to come near him by love is returning to our true being. And our only Soveraign good.

The love of the world being so agreeable p. 105to my nature, and the love of God so necessary both for my dutie and happiness. I wish sometimes that I might love the world for Gods sake, and with a degree of love far inferiour. But alas, my heart is so prone to be deceived by the flatterie of the amiable things of this world, that if I give leave to my heart to love the world for Gods sake, I fear I shall soon come to love it for his own; and by loving it I shall soon come to trust in it, and p. 106repose upon it my hoper and joyes. So I shall finde ere I be aware, that my love, my faith, my hope and my joy are past from the Creatour to the creature. And then where am I but in a gulf of miserie, fear and perpetual unquietness? For God leaveth those that leave him, and in their necessities turns them over to seek deliverance in those things in which they have placed their trust and affection.

O then how much do I need firmly to lay p. 107the two hands of love and faith upon my God, lest I be drawn from him and he from me! What care must I take that I suffer not the world to pull with God for my heart! Lest God in his jealously give over pulling for a thing of so small value; for all he will have or nothing, I cannot serve God and Mammon. Matt. 6.24. For love, when it is come to the hight, is a service and a captivitie of the soul under the beloved object. I cannot serve two masters, especially p. 108these two so different that require such different love and service. To my God then, to him only I must dedicate the service of my love; a service which giveth a perfect libertie. Whereas the service to the world is a miserable servitude, keeping the soul in a continual shaking suspence betwixt fear and hope. That love promiseth much and performeth little, idolizing a false image of good which is of no use in the greatest need. The redemption of a p. 109soul is precious, too dear to be purchased with all the goods of the world. Psal. 49.9.

How little satisfaction do all the goods of the world give! How hard are they to get, how troublesome to keep, how easie to lose! And though they should never leave us, yet we must leave them, and go out of the world naked as we came into it.

O how the love we bear unto the world is many times an evil counsellour, swelling p. 110the heart with pride, inflaming it with evil desires, making the minde run wilde with vanitie, and to comprehend all evils in one, turning us away from God! God then only, by the help of his good spirit, I am resolved to love, and with-draw my affections from the world, considering it in its right use, as made to serve me, not to be served by me. And the chief service that I will put it to will be to serve God.

p. 111PRAYER.

MY Lord and my God, the only good, and only worthy to be beloved with all the heart and soul; I have seen enough of this world to learn that all is vanitie and vexation of spirit. Wealth is a burden, Honours are golden setters, pleasures are follies or crimes, the life of the world is a tragedie of a few dayes, and a continual pageant. I have been near enough to that tumultuous noise and lustre without p. 112substance to know that it is not a worthy object of my love nor a firm ground for my hopes. And instead of finding there the comfort of the soul and quietness of minde, I have found nothing but temptations and sorrows.

Yet Lord, as it is hard to walk upon the fire and not be burnt, I acknowledge that I have not lived in the world without a taint of his corruption. And I have too much loved the world and the things that are in the p. 113world. I was almost in all evil, and should have sunk into it had not thy spirit upheld me, and thy very rods helped me out.

Lord, where shall I begin, either to praise thee for not abandonning me to the temptations of the world or to crave thy pardon for loving it too much? My God, I will do both together, I will praise thee with my humiltie, and acknowledging that in me abideth no good, I will also acknowledge that it is of thy great mercy p. 114that the love of the world hath not quencht the love of the Father in my heart. O how easily the love of the world creeps into my carnal heart! How prone am I to be abused by the deceitfulness of riches, whether I possess them or labour for them, or bewail the loss of them! How many times have I been diverted from thy service by domestical cares! How oft have I provoked thee to jealousie by loving those very persons whom thou commandest me p. 115to love, and made the most lawful affections for the things of this world to become unlawful by letting them run to excess? There being neither parents nor husband, nor wife nor children, whose love do not become vicious, when to feed it self it with-drawes the love that is due unto thee. Many times, O Lord, I have sought my content without thee, and placed my trust and my joy upon other things then thee.

But, O my God, as thou loved'st me before p. 116I loved thee, now be pleased to love me when I am defective in my love to thee. Blot out my sins by thine eternal love in thy son Jesus Christ. And the effect of that love which I chiefly crave at thy hands is, that it may please thee to renew and increase my love to thee, so that I properly love nothing but thee, and all things else which my dutie obligeth me to love, only for thy sake, and in a degree subordinate to the love which I owe thee. Let me not p. 117settle mine affections and my hopes upon persons and things, which it is impossible for me to keep, and which must leave me or I them.

Let me be built upon the rock of thy love to me in Jesus Christ, that when the windes blow, and the rain falls, and the floods come, I may stand fast, while the storm shall beat others to ruin who are built upon the quick-sand of this unstayed and deceitful world. Lord, the fashion of this world passeth p. 118away, and I must prepare to remove from this house of clay, my frail body. O give me grace before hand to remove my heart from the world and it, and settle it upon thee, and mine eternal mansion with thee.

Let me not covet those goods which thou givest many times to thine enemies in greatter measure, which make not the possesours better, but commonly make them worse; that swell the minde with pride, and together beat it down p. 119with fears and cares; that give no satisfaction to the minde, and no refuge against thine indignation. But let me be covetous of the true treasures that give a solid content to the soul, and follow the soul to heaven when the bodie dieth. O Lord inrich my soul with thy love and thy fear; Powre into me the riches of thy grace. Dwell in my heart by faith, for no less wealth then thy self do I ask, and I cannot be satisfied unless thou give thy self unto me. O p. 120my God thou art the portion of mine inheritance. Thou art my stock and my rent, mine eternal possession, and mine only good. There be many that say, who will shew us any good? But I will say, Lord lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon me. Psal. 4.6. Ease my minde of all earthly cares, which give a torment to no purpose, and give me the grace to seek thy kingdome and thy righteousness, being sure that all things shall be added hereunto. p. 121And after all gifts, O my God, again, I beseech thee give thy self to me. As I for my part desire to resigne my self wholly to thee as having nothing in heaven but thee, and there being nothing on earth that I desire besides thee. Lord thou wilt lead me by thy counsel, and afterwards receive me to glory. Amen.

p. 122For SATURDAY.

Matth. 26. Verse 39.

— not as I will but as thou wilt.

Soliloquy.

AS men are prone to transgress the will of Gods commandement, so they are apt to controul the will of his decree, of which our Saviour Jesus speaks here. We measure the actions of Gods providence with the ell of our interest, and of our blinde desire, which is to bring the p. 123rule under unruliness, for the will of God is the rule of perfection, but the carnal will of man hath neither rule nor measure. We let our desires loose, and flatter our selves with hopes, before we know whether God will have it, and without preparing our selves to patience if he will not. We grieve to miss what we desired, and to meet with that we feared, because in our projects we had made our reckoning without God: no wonder if we must reckon twice. p. 124Many men if they durst utter their thoughts when events fall cross-grain to their desires, would invert the prayer of Christ, and say, Not as thou wilt, but as I will.

The cause of this impatience is, that we have no good opinion of God. Flesh and blood will not be perswaded that God doth well when he sends affliction, or that he is wise, or that he is good, or that he hath the power to work good out of evil. If the flesh resisteth Gods will p. 125when God is teaching, she will do it much more when he is striking.

I cannot give a good account to God of my obedience to this command, the hardest of all to keep, that we have no will but his will: and I confess with humilitie that my will did not bow under his as it should have done.

Alas! the wayes of God are not my wayes, and his thoughts are not my thoughts; he doeth good by evil. He advanceth his glory p. 126and our good by means in all likelihood contrary. He afflicteth his children to mend them. He brings them by the cross to glory. He suffers injustice to tread upon his Church for the execution of his justice, yea, for the setting forth of his mercy in due time. For God preserveth those whom he loveth, even by adversitie, as we are taught by David in this text of profound doctrine, blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest p. 127him out of thy law, that thou mayest give him rest from the dayes of adversitie until the pit be digged for the wicked. Psal. 94.12 That wisdome is too high and wonderful for a soul that liveth in the flesh…: and I hope that God will, rather in compassion then anger, look upon the difficultie that my soul findes sometimes to bring my will under his.

To be proficient in that high task, I must look to the pattern of all perfection, my Saviour p. 128Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. Who being in his greatest agonies bearing the burden of Gods wrath for the sins of the whole world, and sweating out of anguish drops of blood trickling down to the ground, yet even then mastered his most tender and natural affections, and rejected his own will to embrace Gods will. He would suffer, he would die, because it was Gods will.

I will look upon the reason that bowed his p. 129will to yeeld such a free obedience to such a hard sentence: now said he, is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this houre, but for this cause came I unto this houre. Father glorifie thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven saying, I have both glorified it, and I will glorifie it again. John 12.27.

This was it that made him disgest the bitter cup of Gods wrath; God therby was glorified. After that consideration he p. 130had no will for preserving his own life. Come shame, torments, the whips, the nails, the cross, and death in the end; all is welcome if God be glorified.

The same reason I have to subject my will unto Gods will in all my crosses, whether God denie me what is most pleasing to me, or send me what is most smarting. I must be assured that God does nothing but for his glorie. And though I see it not, he seeth it, and that must content me. Now if God afflict me p. 131for his glorie, how can it be but for my good? For being one of his children, if my heavenly Father be glorified I cannot but be happie: and he shall bring forth my happiness by those wayes which he likes best, according to his fatherly love and his Soveraign wisdom; unto which in silence and humilitie I submit my will, and with confidence and joy commit my self, never to have any will but his.

p. 132PRAYER.

MY GOD and Father who among thy many mercies hast visited me with thy rods, which I reckon also among thy mercies. I humbly confess that I did not make the right use of them, and did not bow my will as readily and freely as I should have done under thy holy will. I have desired certain things too eagerly, before I knew whether my desires agreed with thy good pleasure. And I have born with impatience p. 133patience other things which were sent to me by thy good pleasure: whereas I should have said after thy servant David, I will be dumb and keep silence, because thou hast done it. Psal. 39.9.

O Lord Jesu, who in thy greatest agonies didst say, Father not my will but thy will be done. Be pleased to extend upon me the merit of that wonderful obedience which thou didst yeeld to thy father in these words. For in that obedience consisteth the invaluable p. 134price of our redemption. O Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, accept that obedience of infinite merit for satisfaction for my sins. Impute it to me as if I had yeelded it in mine own person; and having justified me by his righteousness, be pleased to reform me upon his example, so that my will be sincerely subjected to thy will as his was. Give me that grace that I may ever finde thy will good, pleasant and perfect, printing this assurance in my heart by a lively p. 135faith, that thou lovest me more then I love my self; and that as thou art most good thou art also most wise, and never sendest afflictions to thy children but to turn them into blessings. Since it is the dutie of children to let themselves be ruled by their parents, frame my heart, O my heavenly father, to an entire and filial submission under thy wise and loving providence; so that even when I feel the smart of thy rods, I receive them with a meek and willing heart, p. 136acknowleding thy powerful fatherly hand, and saying with Heli, It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good. 1 Sam. 5.18. This subduing of nature is a work too hard for me, unless thy good spirit work in me powerfully an impartial renouncing of my self, and a full resignation of all mine affections unto thy holie will.

O God, who commandest them that want wisdome to ask it of thee in faith, with a promise to give it, Jam. 1.9. give me faith p. 137to ask and to obtain so much wisdom of thee, that when thou sendest me trials unpleasing to my nature, I behave and quiet my self as a child weaned of his mother, Psal. 131.2. taming my passion, yea, and silencing my reason, when thou callest me to bow under thy will. Make me capable of this heavenly doctrine, that when thy will is become our will, thy glorie also is become our glorie, and thy goods our goods, and that we have all that thou hast when we will all that p. 138thou wilt. For O Lord thou belongest to them that are thine, and the way for us to be thine is to resigne our selves absolutely to thy will.

When shall it be, O Lord, that no will shall live within me but thy will, whether it be to obey thy commandements with readiness, or to undergo thy decrees with patience? And since the felicitie of Angels consisteth in the union of their wills with thine, I am covetous, O my God, of that Angelical felicitie. I beseech thee make me p. 139conformable to them before I meet with them, at least in this point, that my will be ever thy will, and that I have no interest but thine.

But because this poor soul of mine liveth as yet in the flesh, and the flesh is infirm; I beseech thee, O merciful. Father, let no temptation take me hut such as is common to man, for, O my God thou art faithful who wilt not suffer me to be tempted above that I am able, but wilt with the temptation also make away p. 140to escape, that I may be able to bear it. 1 Cor. 10.3. It is my great and serious desire to follow thy will in all things. O send me no trial too hard for my will to follow thine. Never hide thy gracious face from me, and let thy will never be so severe towards me, that I lose the perswasion of thy good will in thy son Jesus Christ.

O God increase my faith. Let neither death, nor life, nor tribulation, nor distress, nor temptation, nor persecution be able to separate me p. 141from that love of thine in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen. Rom. 8.

p. 142For the LORDS DAY Morning.

Psal. 31. Verse 23.

O love the Lord all ye his Saints [otherwise] his beloved.

WAs there ever a more reasonable desire, that those whom God loveth should love him again? For so many blessings which God sends down in great showres upon them, can they do less then send up to him the Vapours of their holie affections and thanks? p. 143Truly it was by him that love began. Herein is love, not that we loved him, but that he loved us. Yea, we love him, because he first loved us. 1 Joh. 4 10. And the chiefest effect of his love to me is the grace that he giveth me to love him. O if love requires love, and if benefits demand thankfulness, what love, what thankfulness do I owe to my God in whom I have both my being and well being?

But as the Sun makes us lose the sight of the Stars, there is an effect p. 144of his love which seems to swallow all the other effects, and by its great light drawes upon itself alone the eyes of the devout soul. And that is the sending of the son of God for our redemption. For God hath so loved the world, that he sent his only son into the world, that whosoever beleeveth on him should not perish but have everlasting life. Joh. 3.16. O unfathomable depth of the love of God! Love stronger then death! death of the son of God that gives us life! Happie is p. 145he that can dive inro that gulf of mercy. Not to finde the bottom, for it hath none, but to lose himself in it with love and admiration. But it is a comfort to me in this temporal condition where reason is short-sighted and cannot reach to the height of the knowledge of God, that it is possible for me to love more then I know. And without comprehending his misteries I may rejoyce in his love. Praised be God that I know enough of him to love him, p. 146though I should know no more of him but that he loveth me.

Then that I may perfectly love him, I will take for my pattern the perfect love that he bears to me. He loved me and elected me in Christ before the foundation of the world. As his love is eternal, mine must be perpetual, and partake of the perpetuity of its object and original. He loved me freely and without hope of profit, for though he fetch glory out of his mercy to me, he could have glory p. 147enough without it. And he could fetch glory out of his justice, if he had chosen rather to condemn me. My love to him then must be altogether free; I must not love him with a mercenary love only, for mine own utilitie, but purely and simply, because he is good to me, good in himself, and the prime perfection. And because it is the dutie of the creature to love the Creator, and of the redeemed to love the Redeemer.

He hath loved me p. 148with a singular love, for Christ hath taken as much labour to redeem me as if he had none but me to redeem. It is not by the great, it is in particular and by vertue of a singular election that I am redeemed. And I may fay after S^t. Paul that God loved me and gave himself for me. Gal. 2.20. Besides, his love guideth and tendeth me as carefully in all my wayes, yea in all my steps, as if he had none but me to tend in all the world, I must then for that singular love p. 149return him a love altogether singular. I must love nothing properly but him, all other things in him and for him, nothing out of him. He loved me so much as to die for me, I must also love him more then my life. He loved me as his Spouse, I must also love him as my husband, but a husband to whom I owe my life and my self; a husband that married me with eternal compassions, when I was by nature his enemie; and marrying me he endowed me p. 150with his own kingdome.

How it grieves me that I have nothing to bring to a husband so great and so good! For what can I bring to him in marriage since he hath given me what I have, and made me what I am? What then? Shall I bring him nothing? Yes truly; I will bring him my heart, I will give him my love. For though I hold from him my heart and the grace to love him, yet it is a gift of mine when I present it to him, because p. 151I present it freely. Be the disparity never so great between the Creator and the creature, I may give him love for love: the eternal God that loveth me, payeth himself with the love of his little servant.

I will put him as a seal upon my heart. Cant. 8.6. I will keep him fast and close to my heart, that my heart may take the print of him and never lose his blessed figure. He is so good that he defends me even when I offend him, I will be p. 152so good as to love him even when he strikes me. He keeps near me when I turn away from him, I must keep neer him even when he seems to hide his face from me. God patiently expects my repentance, I will patiently epect his deliverance. He loved his own unto the end, Joh. 13.1. and he stayes with them alwayes, unto the end of the world, Mat. 28.20. and beyond, even to eternitie. His love to me hath no end, no measure, no intermission; O that my p. 153heart were towards him as his is towards me! O that I could love him to the end, yea without end, and that the world and the flesh should make no intermission in my love! O that I could raise my love to such a high degree, and there keep, that many waters could not quench that love, neither could, the floods drown it. Cant. 8.7. But to that end I must crave the help of his holy spirit.

p. 154PRAYER.

O My God my most gracious Father, who hast loved me from all eternitie, and wilt yet love me to all eternitie, I am too little to comprehend the greatness of thy compassions, and the excellencie of thy promises to me. O Lord how excellent is thy loving kindness! Psal. 36. Thou hast not only made me after thy likeness, fed me with thy bountie, and preserved me by thy providence, but thou hast not been p. 155sparing of thine own son, and thy son hath not been sparing of his own life to redeem me from death, and give me the inheritance of thy kingdome. O the depth of the riches both of thy wisdome and mercy! O incomprehensible goodness! O infinite love! What shall I render thee for the inestimable treasures of thy grace? But even this belongs to the infinitie of thy love, that thou acceptest the love of thy little creature in exchange of thine infinite love. Come p. 156then, let me love thee, let me bless thee, O my God, who for givest all mine iniquities, who healest all my diseases; who redeemest my life from destruction, who crownest me with loving kindness and tender mercies, who satisfiest my mouth with good things. Psal. 103.3. O my Saviour Jesu, who for my sake hadst thy hands and feet pierced with nails, and thy side launcht with a spear, be pleased to make a wholsome wound in my breast with the point of thy love. For p. 157as by thy light we see light, so by thy servent love to us, we are inflamed with love to thee.

O thou the first beuatie, the first goodness, who only deservest that I make an incense of my affections unto thee with the fire of love; I desire to know thy perfections better, that I may love them better. I desire to love thee with all my heart, and with all mine understanding, and more yet with my heart, because it is more capable to embrace thee then p. 158mine understanding to know thee. Lord how I esteem the celestial glory, because there the soul knowes thee and loves thee perfectly! And how the world and mine own flesh displease me, because they make me incapable to know and love thee as much as I desire! But although I feel my self full of imperfection, yet the desire of my soul is to thy name O Lord, and to the remembrance of thee. With my soul have I desired thee in the night, yea, with my spirit within p. 159me will I seek thee early. Isa. 26.8. I will seek thee, O Lord, but I have need that thou seek me and finde me, and bring me thy self to thee, and put far from me all things and all desires that make me go astray from thee.

My God, because I love thee, I desire to please thee, and that I may please thee I desire to be like unto thee. O great Bridegroom of my soul when wilt thou make me like unto thee that I may be all handsome, and a fit Bride for thee? When p. 160shall I be clad all about, all over, with the new man which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness! Ephe. 4.24. How ambitious am I to be deckt with the precious jewels of faith, charitie, zeal, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which before thee is of great price, 1 Pet. 3.4. and above all with thy love which is the bond of perfectness, Col. 3.14. that these Christian vertues be an ornament of grace unto my head and chaines about my neck. Pro. 1.9. p. 161Lord thou hast adorned me with the imputation of thy perfect righteousness, my glorious wedding gown, whereby I do appear before God thy father and mine all righteous and all perfect. I will greatly rejoyce in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God, for he hath cloathed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a Bridegroom decketh himself with ornament, and as a Bride adorneth herself with her jewels. p. 162Isa. 61.10.

O Christ who hast already made me fine with the jewels of thy merit, be pleased to adde unto them those of thy spirit, that thy righteousness serve not only to justifie me, but much more to sanctifie me. For I shall never be a Spouse handsome enough for such a perfect Bridegroom till thy vertues pass unto and into me, and change me into thy likeness by the operation of thy powerfull spirit, the chief effect thereof being a fervent p. 163love exprest in a serious imitation. O Lord, thy banner over me is love, Cant. 2.4. my wedding livery is love. With that livery I expect to be led by thee into the wedding chamber. O in that expectation let love produce his best effect in me, which is to change the person loving into the beloved, so that I may truly say, I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh I live … the faith of the … p. 164God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal. 2.20. I look for an eternal habitation to live with thee and live by thy life. But it is to long for me to expect till thou bring me into that wedding room. I have a wedding room for thee in my heart, not so well furnisht as I could wish to receive such a great guest, but come Lord and bring thy furniture of grace a long with thee. That house cannot want accomodation spi… is graced by thy there…ce. O Lord be p. 165thou in me and I in thee, as thou Father art in the Son, and thou Son in the Father, that I also may be one with you, John 17. by the holy Ghost the spirit and bond of love. And to you three persons and one God be glory for evermore. Amen.

p. 166For the LORDS DAY Evening.

Joh. 14. Vers. 23.

If a man love me he shall keep my word.

HOw ordinary it is to hear Gods word, and how rare to keep it! And how simply will men perswade themselves that they love God, when they take no care to please him! They love God as they do their horses, for their use, which is not loving God but themselves. p. 167He that will love God and not keep his word doth as a wife married to a worthy husband, to whom she should say, I will love you for my pleasure and profit, but out of that I will do nothing that you require of me. How near this comparison comes to me whose soul is betrothed to my Saviour Jesus who loved me and gave himself for me, and hath signed the contract of marriage with his own blood? For it is too true that my love to him hath more p. 168respected my benefit then my dutie.

I have often protested that I loved him. Now he puts my love to the trial, If you love me keep my commandements. If a man love me he shall keep my words. Joh. 14, 15. He will have love from his Spouse (and such is every Christian soul) but it is according to the lawes of matrimony to love, to cherish, and to obey. It is the lesson made to that royal Bride, which represents both the Church of the first born which p. 169are written in heaven, and every good soul. Forget thine own people and thy fathers house, so shall the King greatly desire thy beautie, for he is thy Lord, and worship thou him. Psa. 45.10. That I may consecrate my self to the love of that King and Bridegroom of my soul he will have me to forget my carnal interesses. He greatly desireth and delighteth in that beautie which himself hath given me, his renewed image consisting in his knowledge and love, and faith in his promises. p. 170But unless I worship him, humbly bowing and subjecting all mine affections unto his word and pleasure, I have not that beautie which he desireth and delighteth in, and I deceive my self with a false perswasion that I love him. For how can I love his person without loving his pleasure? And how can I make a separation between him and his will since his will is himself?

My soul be thou to thy God and husband a loving and obedient p. 171wife, let his word be precious to thee, learn it. cherish it, keep it. It is more desirable then gold, and sweeter then hony. Psal. 19.10. It is that heavenly wisdom whose wayes are wayes of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold on her, and happie is every one that retains her. Pro. 3.17.

But what is it to lay hold upon her, it is to profess the truth? What is it to retain her, it is to argue about religion in dispute? Sure p. 172there goes more to that dutie. It is to maintain the excellency of it by practise. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the father is this, to visit the fatherless and widdowes in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. Jam. 1.27. The love that God expects of me must be shewed to his commandements, so that I may say with David, my soul hath kept thy testimonies and I love them exceedingly. Psal. 119.167.

That I may love God p. 173as I ought, I must love all that he loveth. He loveth righteousness and judgement, Psal. 33.5. I will then give to all their right, beginning by himself, paying the love, the faith, the reverence, and the obedience to him due. Next I will give to my neighbours their right, being sincere in my words, faithful in my promises, just in my conversation, possessing nothing but what is justly mine, accounting the unjust gain to be a loss and a curse. God despiseth not the sacrifice p. 174of a broken and a contrite heart. Psal. 51.17. David calls it the sacrifice of God. I will then endeavour to break my heart with contrition, of which I have but too much cause, and make it a fit sacrifice for him.

I am commanded to do good and communicate, for with such sacrisices God is well pleased. Heb. 13.16. And I am taught that God loveth a cheerful giver. 2 Cor 9.7. I will then chearfully offer unto God those sacrifices of beneficence which he p. 175loveth. And since I can do no good to my Saviour that does me so much good. I will do good to his Disciples.

God loveth the meek, and it was to them that Christ came to preach good tidings. Since he loveth them so much, I will love them also, Isa 61.1. and I will endeavour to be meek that he may love me. In these and in all things else I will endeavour to keep his word, because I love him that gave it me to keep, and because his will is my delight. O p. 176when shall that happie day come, when I shall perfectly keep Gods word, because I shall perfectly love him? When shall I live far from those that keep not his word, because they do not love him, and seduce or offend or interrupt them that would keep it! When shall I live with the life of the Saints and blessed, that finde all their pleasure in loving and serving God, and know no difference between their dutie and their delight!

p. 177PRAPER.

O God Almightie and all good, when I consider that thou makest the windes thine Angels, and the flames of fire thy Ministers, and that fire and haile, snow, Vapour, and stormy winde are fulfilling thy word, Psal. 148. I wonder that things incapable to love thee should inviolably keep thy word, and that no creatures should decline to obey it, but those whom thou hast indowed in their creation with a capacitie to p. 178know and love thee. Lord, what a shame is this to me, that I shoul be overcome in readiness of obedience by those creatures that know not their obligation to obey thee! Yet, O my God, that knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee, which is more then they do. But it is clear that I love thee not enough since I do not obey thee as readily out of love and reason as other creatures do without either, out of a meer instinct of nature. My p. 179God I humbly crave thy pardon for that want of obedience, and for my want of love which is the cause of it, O Father of mercies cover that shortness of love with the infinitie of thine. Enter not into judgement with me for being so cold to love thee, so slow to serve thee, so careless to hear and keep thy word. I cannot tell the number of the acts of my disobedience against thy word, nor sufficiently comprehend the greatness of thy mercy which is in the p. 180heavens, and of thy faithfulness reaching unto the clouds. O Lord since thy heavenly merciemercy is so great as to promise remission of sins to all that would have their recourse unto thee by the merit and intercession of thy Son, thy faithfulness also shall be so great as to fulfil thy promise to me thy sinful servant, who now embrace by faith the merit of thy beloved son, and implore the benefit of his gracious intercession.

And that hereafter I may so love thee that I p. 181may keep thy word, give me grace by the operation of thy spirit to learn of that holy word how I may love thee. Let me love thy word with a fervent heart. Let me come to it with a holy appetite, as thy Prophet, Who found thy words and did eat them, and thy word was unto him the joy and rejoycing of his heart. Jer. 15.16. Let it be to me quick & powerful, & sharper then any two edged sword. Heb. 4.12. Let me sensibly finde it profitable for doctrine, for reproof, p. 182for correction, for instruction in righteousness, till I may be perfect thoroughly furnished unto all good works. 2. Tim. 3.16. Be pleased to make me diligent in good works, zealous for thy glory, and charitable to my neighbours. Let me not love them in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth. Iam. 3.18. Let me set mine affections on things above not on things on the earth. Col. 3.2. Let not my heart be set upon the world which I must leave, but upon thee p. 183my permanent possession. Let my breast be a Sanctuary, where the incense of my holy affections ascend to thee continually, and where thy self be pleased to dwell, fitting between faith and love as it were between the Cherubims. Let thy will ever be my rule, thy fear my guide, thy wisdom my councellour, and thy promises my comfort. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my redeemer. p. 184Psal. 19.14. Let me be blameless and harmless, the child of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom I may shine as a light in the world. Phil. 2.15.

O Lord open the eyes and turn the hearts of those that love thee not and keep not thy word. Sanctifie them that know thee, and in whose hearts thou hast already kindled some sparks of thy love. Deliver thy Church redeemed with thy blood from heresies, schismes, p. 185and scandals. And since she is thy Spouse let her be presented unto thee as a chast Virgin, having neither spot nor wrinkle. Ephe. 5.27. And let my soul which is also thy Spouse be so presented before thee. Strengthen by thy spirit thy children tossed between persecutions and temptations, and perfect thy vertue in their weakness. Wipe off the foul aspersions cast upon thy Gospel, and let not the sins of the professours thereof be imputed unto the holy truth which they p. 186profess. O let thy truth shine as the light and thy righteousness as the noon day. Raise again the walls of thy decayed Jerusalem. O great and jealous God stir up thy jealousie and the bowels of thy mercies. Suffer not for ever thy name to be blasphemed, and thy redeemed children to be exposed to the rage of the world and the Devil. God of peace bruise Satan under our feet shortly. Rom. 16.20. Lord Jesu come quickly, Reve. 22. hasten the fulfilling of thy p. 187kingdome. Begin now thy kingdome within us, delivering us from the bondage of sin, whose yoak is a thou, sand times heavier to them that love thee in truth, then that of all the tyrants and persecutors. O Lord if we be holy we cannot be miserable, and if we love thee we cannot be beaten down by the hatred of the world. O let me ever aspire to those eternal tabernacles where they are in a soveraigne happiness, because they are filled with a soveraign p. 188love of thee. Endue me with vertue to fight the good fight, the remnant of the daies of my vanitie, with a firm expectation that I shall shortly and for ever enjoy thy great peace, and that victorie into which death was swallowed up by our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom with thee and the holie Ghost be glorie for evermore. Amen.

p. 189A PREPARATORY Meditation for all sorts of Prayers.

Eccles. 5. Verse 2.

Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thy heart be hastie to utter any thing before God, for God is in heaven and thou upon earth, therefore let thy words be few.

HAstiness is the mother of confusion in all things, and in prayer more then in any. Thereby the reproach comes upon us p. 190which we make to them that pray in an unknown tongue, that they know not what they say. But it is no wonder that we pray so often not thinking what we say▪ since we commonly begin our prayer without thinking before what we are, who is he that we must speak to, and what we have to say to him.

Many actions of our life have no need to be thought upon but when we take them in hand, by reason of their facilitie, and because the persons and things that p. 191we have to do with are equal or inferiour to us. Prayer is not in that rank, there being nothing of greater difficultie then to fix our minde (that liveth in the flesh and perceiveth nothing but by the senses) upon God whom no man hath seen at any time, and who is altogether spiritual and immaterial. And there being no inequalitie like that between the Creator infinite and most holy, and the creature finite and sinful.

Truly when we consider p. 192what God is and what we are, that make bold to address our selves to him. Wee have great reason to think both on him and us before we open our mouth, he is the Lord, the incomprehensible the most holy, the most just, the father of lights before whom the very Stars are not pure. Job. 25.5. He created heaven and earth with his bare word, and with one word he may bring them to nothing. He governs all, he disposeth of all, the closest p. 193hearts are open in his sight, and he doth not hold the sinner guiltless. He that in his prayer hath his mind gadding abroad, as he hath no reason to expect of Gods facility, that he give him what he asketh when his mind goes not along with his tongue; So he hath no reason to be free of the feare of his justice, vainely hoping that God will take no notice of that he said, because himselfe did not think of it. Though it were to be wisht for many that in their prayers p. 194God would think no more of them then they think on him.

And if from God in Heaven we turn our eyes upon our selves that are on earth, poor, weak, guilty things in his presence, that cannot subsist one moment without him, O what humility, what reverence, what feare and trembling should seize on us when we approach, we so little, to him that is so great! What pain ought we to take to fix our thoughts upon him, and keep them from their p. 195ordinary wanderings! What adoration ought we to render to that magnificent Majesty, that inaccessible light, that Supream Holines, that Soveraign Justice, that infinite bounty I Could the thought of these Attributes of the Godhead enter deep into our minds, and there stay, then a devout respect would stay our attention in our prayers. We should be humble and contrite in the confession of our sins, full of faith in craving pardon through Jesus Christ, fervent p. 196and sincere in praying for our conversion and sanctification, carnest and zealous in praying for the advancement of Gods glory and the good of his Church. Prayers begun with a holy trembling would grow by speaking with God to confidence and familiarity; and would end in joy and comfort! And God would graciously grant our petitions, for the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Iam. 5.16.

There is a general and p. 197perpetual preparation for prayer, which is holines of life, for it is lesse difficult to elevate our affections unto God in prayer, and fix them upon him, when they have bin trained to that duty in the midst of temporall businesses. He that alwayes walkes as in the presence of God, looking to his way that he may please him in all his conversation, shall easily find the way to heaven when he sets himselfe to pray. For the immediate causes of the wandering of our p. 198thoughts and the deboish in our affections in our prayers are the next preceding sinnes. The conscience, being removed some steps from God, finds that God hath removed as many steps from her, and that there is a barricado made between God and the soule, which stops the passage of prayer to heaven.

There is a particular preparation for the time of prayer, which is to take leisure to view the state of our conscience. And if companies or sports or p. 199businesse or crosses have caused some agitation in our mind, we must labour to settle that emotion, that we may bring a tranquill soule to Gods service.

Especially we must examin whether we have lately added any thing to the score of our sinnes, that we may mend it by a new repentance.

God and the world are so fare asunder, that it is almost impossible to passe from the one to the other suddenly. And the mind besieged with worldly thoughts p. 200and objects, hath need to make a vigorous sallie to raise that Siege, before it can have its way free to God.

We must imitate Abraham, who going up to the Mount of Sacrifice left his Servants and his Asse at the foote of the Mountaine. For before we begin our prayer which is our Sacrifice to God, and before we mount up heaven-wards▪ with our thoughts and our hearts, we must leave below all that is servile and brutish in our affections or imaginations, p. 201forbidding the cares of this world, yea the most lawfull, to follow us when the duty of prayer calls us to draw neere God.

Also let us take some time to acknowledge our infinite obligation to Gods bounty, and with what ungratefulness we have repayed his benefits. Let us think of his Justice which hath terrible judgements ready against sinners. Let us think of his mercy that acquits us, when we present unto him the merit of his beloved p. 202Sonne by Faith. Let us think on the holines of his divine Essence, and the righteousness of his lawes, which we must resolve to keep carefully, and to crave the assistance of his Spirit to that effect. Let us think on the excellency of his promises, and his Fatherly care of those that love and feare him. Let us think on his glory which above all things we must aske of God.

Having thus our minds full of God and our duty, let us present our selves to him with p. 203the dispositions of reverence, humility, faith, and zeale. And because God is pure and simple, let us use simplicity, and few words in our prayers. In the multitude of words there are divers vanities, but fear thou God, saith the Royal Preacher: Eccl. 5. Teaching us, that if after that warning of human frailty, we use many words in our prayer, we shew want of the fear of God, venturing thus boldly to tell him many vanities among many words.

In long discourses, p. 204even of things of the world, both the hearer and the speaker will slacken their attention, like a bow too long bent. Much more in discourses of divine things, which want the natural and sensible helpes for attention.

The Lord that commands us to pray to him be pleased to frame in our hearts such prayers as may be acceptable unto him, even for his Sonnes sake, and by the vertue of his Spirit helping our infirmities, for we know not what we should pray p. 205for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us, with groanings which cannot he vttered. Rom. 8.26. Yea Lord give us the Spirit of supplication. Give us grace to ask what thou commandest, and then we cannot misse to obtain what we demand.

p. 206PREPARATION for the Holy Communion.

1 Cor. 11. ver. 24.

This do in remembrance of me.

Soliloquy.

I Have great reason indeed to remember him that remembred me in his great agonies, and to do what he bids me to do in remembrance of him, since he forgot his own preservation p. 207to remember mine. It is too little for me now to consider his authority which obligeth me to do this. I will stay upon his love. In what case was he when he celebrated this Sacrament of his body and blood, and commanded his Disciples (of whom I am one) to do this in remembrance of him?

Alas! it was the last night before his most bitter Passion, and he had then in his soul that horrible agonie which about and hour after made him sweat p. 208great drops of blood trickling down to the ground. And it was for us his Disciples that he felt that agonie. It was for us that he was going to put his neck under the heavy burden of the Crosse. Of which that we might ever be sensible, he left to us in his last words a perpetual remembrance of the end and of the benefit of his death and of his love to us. He blesseth the bread and the cup, calleth them his body and blood, represents to us under this bread broken the p. 209sufferings of his body, under this wine powred into the cup the shedding of his blood; gives us together the signe and the thing signified, making all faithful communicants as truly partakers of the benefit of his sufferings, as if they had borne them in their owne persons; feeds them with that mystical meat and drink to spiritual and eternal life, makes them one body and one spirit with their Saviour whom they receive, and graciously sealeth Gods covenant p. 210and peace with them.

Who can but wonder at the greatness of this love and the liberty of this great soule, that he would, that he could think of all those things, when he had a most cruel death before his eyes, and was hardly breathing under the weight of Gods wrath, as great as the sins of all men deserved! But he would shew that this was his proper and chiefe business in the world, and that the motive that made him go to meet death, was to give us his body and p. 211his blood for our propitiation before God.

For that great Sonne of God seemes to speake thus to us in this fare-well and declaration of his last will before his death; My friends, I must now drink the cup of Gods wrath, but it is that you may drink the cup of salvation, and here it is. I drink the bitter, that you may drink the sweet. The Crosse brings me death, but it brings you life. I am going to shed my blood to spare yours. And for a perpetual pledge that it is for you p. 212that my body suffereth, and my blood is shed, I enjoin you to celebrate this perpetual remembrance of my death. As oft as you eat this bread and drink this cup, shew ye my death till I come. Every time that you shall see them, let them put you in mind of my body and blood, and of my love stronger thē death, which made me deliver my selfe unto death to worke your peace with God. Take them, and be assured that these outward elements that you eat and drink are p. 213not more yours then my body and my blood and the whole benefit of my death and obedience. Fare you well, Death calls upon me, Enjoy the fruit of my death and remember me.

I am then invited with the greatest and holiest solemnity to the table of the Lord, and to himselfe. And the meate and drink which he gives me is himselfe. O infinite love! Miraculous vertue, love! Miraculous vertue, love! Miraculous vertue, which turnes the death of my Saviour into a feast, and his p. 214Adieu when he went to dye into an invitation! O for thoughts and affections worthy of such a sublime and peerelesse love.

As for thoughts, it is in vaine, my soule, that thou seekest them, though thou hadst the understanding of Angels: For they are the depths of Gods love which the Angels desire to looke into. And the Apostle telling us that they desire it, teacheth us that it is beyond their reach, though they try for it, the strength of their pure p. 215clearesighted eyes enlightened with Gods light. But it is lawful for our affections to rise higher then the reach of our thoughts. It is lawful for them to love that great Saviour as much as he loveth us, if it were possible. And there we may strive to rise above our strength without offence. O that I could love him more then I can! But since I cannot give him more then myselfe; How gladly would I give my self wholly to him, for his gift to me of his whole precious p. 216selfe! It is too little to wish it. I must doe it. Since I am invited to take the bread of life and the cup of salvation, I will go and take them, and taking them give my selfe together unto him that giveth them me.

But whither doe I go? Let me consider before what I am to take and to give. I am going to take the body and blood of the Sonne of God and his whole selfe. But have I taken this to serious consideration, that he that eateth and drinketh p. 217unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himselfe? I am going to present and give my selfe to him. But have I considered what I present him with, and whether I make a good or an evill gift to him?

Alas who am I that presume to come to the Lords table? How much have I transgressed his commandements? How much have I abused his graces? Have I not bin seduced by the vanities of this world? Hath not the World stollen away part of my heart p. 218which I owe to God whole and undivided? Did I not more repose myselfe upon temporal helpes then I trusted his wisdome and bounty? What thanks did I returne him for his innumerable blessings of heaven and earth? and did I not make an ill use of his blessings of the earth to turne away my heart and mind from the blessings of heaven? And have I not laboured more for that bread which perisheth, then for that which endureth unto everlasting life? How p. 219many vaine thoughts distract my attention in my prayers and in the hearing of the word of God? Hath my faith in his holy promises never staggored? Have I bin sensible as I should have bin of the affliction of Gods Church, and the outrage done to his holy name, which is blasphemed, and to his truth which is desamed? Have I bin patient, meek and charitable to my neighbours? And did I apply my selfe freely and cheerfully to the duty of good workes? Did I p. 220beare with humility the afflictions which God sent me, and have I absolutely resigned my will unto his?

O when I think on the evills that I have committed and the duties which I have omitted, one deepe calls to another deepe. And I am lost in the confused number of my sins. O stubborn flesh! O slow nature to serve God, and active to serve the world! O body of death that keepest the spirit under the law of sinne! how quick thou art still within me! p. 221And how ashamed and sorrowfull am I, that after so many benefits of God and such a long prentiship in the schoole of his word and spirit, there remaines yet in me so much of my natural corruption?

But this shame and sorrow is unto me a matter of hope, and I beginne to rise againe because I am beaten down. For did I not belong to God, and did I not love him, I should have no displeasure to have offended him. And had be not loved me first, I should not p. 222love him. Why then should I deprive my selfe of the table of the Lord as unworthy? It is because I am unworthy that I must come neere, that I may become worthy. If none could receive the body and blood of the Lord worthily but such as are worthy, there would be no worthy receiving. But those are worthy receivers that acknowledge their unworthines, and lament it, and finding no worthiness at home, come with hunger and thirst after righteousnes p. 223to seeke worthiness in this holy table.

In the parable, he is pleased to invite to his table the lame and the maimed, to shew that the abundance of his grace is moved by the lowest case of our infirmity: Because I have no righteousness I have the more need to goe to him that hath righteousness to spare, and doth without sparing bestow it on them that begge it at his …ands, To what end had Christ suffered if we were righteous? Could he have dyed for our sins p. 224if we had none? And was it not to all penitent sinners in the persons of his Apostles that he sayd when he gave this holy Cup, Drink ye all of this, for this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many, for the remission of sinnes? Matth. 26.27. & 28.

It is true that the sinner cannot subsist before the most holy God. Who shall stand when he appeareth? saith Malachi. Mal. 3.3. But there he speaks of standing before the throne of his justice. 'Tis not there that I must now p. 225appeare. I am invited to the throne of his grace. I am called to the feast of the riches of his mercy. Where being once arayed with the nuptial garments of the merits of my Saviour the Sonne of God, I shall not feare to appeare before the justice of his father. Come unto me (saith he) all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will ease you. Matth. 11.28. O precious invitation! And who is he that invites us so? the same that hath borne our griefes and carried p. 226our sorrowes, and on whom the Lord layd the iniquity of us all. Isa. 53.4. So he easeth us, Himselfe carrieth our burden.

We then that labour and are heavy laden. we whose conscience is groaning under the burden of our sins, Let us goe to him and boldly unloade our burden upon him. He requires it, He calls us to it. There is no burden too heavy for his divine strength. There is no offence so great, but is overcome by the greatness of his p. 227love. Let us goe confidently to him. He is the reliefe of the distressed, the rest of the weary, the deliverer of the captive, the Advocate of repenting offenders, for whom he obtaineth absolution from his Father, presenting them to him clad all over with his owne righteousness. Let us, O let us come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtaine mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Heb. 4.16.

Let me feede now the eyes of my faith p. 228with the cheere that I am invited unto, before I come neerer. I see but one dish upon this table, which is the Lambe of God that takes away the sins of the world. But that onelyonly dish comprehends all the plenty and all the variety of the dainties of Gods house. Here I find before all things a remedy to all my diseases, the remission of my sins according to the riches of his grace; for the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sinne. 1 Iohn 1.7. And my sins being p. 229pardoned and my soule justified, how much grace, how much glory followeth! God becomes my father, his beloved sonne becomes my brother, his Spirit becomes my life, his kingdome becomes mine heritage: And God gives me now in his table the pledges and earnest of that eternal feast, where Christ hath prepared a place for me in his heavenly glory. Already in the table of this holy Sacrament he feedes me with the same meat and the same drink p. 230that I shall be feasted with for ever in heaven. Here the Sonne of God receiveth me for his Spouse, and makes me one flesh with him, for by giving me his body, he incorporateth himselfe with me by faith. So that he and I are no more two, but one flesh. O dear, O precious feast, where my God himselfe is my food, where I taste how the Lord is gracious! 1 Pet 23. O life of my soule! O sweet foretaste of the fatnes of Gods house and the rivers of his pleasures! p. 231Blessed am I if I can relish the goodnes of the Lord, more blessed if I can expresse it by my thank fulnes.

Now this is the thing, O my soule, which thou must seriously looke to. Thou hast bin considering what goods are given thee at the Lords table. But hast thou considered what duties are required of thee by this holy Communion? Looke to thy selfe, and presume not to come to receive the benefits, not being disposed to render the duties. Here p. 232Christ gives himselfe to me, But it is upon condition that I shall give my selfe to him. He gives me his body and blood to be received by faith, but it must be a faith that purifies the heart, and is working by love. Act. 15.9. Gal. 5.6. Else it is no faith but presumption. He gives me his body and blood for my food, but it is that I may be renewed to a better life. He grafteth me upon himselfe, but it is that I may beare fruit answerable to the tree that beareth me. p. 233I am the vine (saith he) and you are the branches, he that abideth in me and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit. Iohn 15.5. He makes me one body with him, but it is that I may live with his life and follow his example. I come to embrace the benefit of his sufferings: But his Apostle Peter teacheth me, that Christ hath suffered for us, leaving us an example, that we should follow his steps; Who did no sinne, neither was guile found in his mouth. 1 Pet 2 21. Christ feedes me, and p. 234his other members with me, with the same bread, the bread of his table, that we may be all one body whereof himselfe is the head. I must then come neere this Sacrament of charity with a mind full of charity. And joining with Christ and his Church with this mystical bond, I must study hereafter to keepe that vnion holy and inviolable by charity unfained. This Sacrament is a seale of my Covenant with God. It obligeth me then to a grateful observation of that p. 235high Covenant, made with me in the holy Communion. O that I had the eyes of mine understanding inlightened and my heart open to apprehend deepely the importance of the Covenant made me in this holy table! O that my fervent affections were sensible enough to resent what obligation this seale of his eternal love layeth upon me? That the body and blood of Christ here given me are the price of my redemption. And that being redeemed by such p. 236a great price, I am no more mine owne, but Christs, that purchased me to have my service, Then before I receive. this body and blood, I must thus cast my reckoning; I am going to take the price which the Sonne of God hath payd to buy me. So when I receive that payment, I must at the same time deliver to him that which he hath bought, and wholy resigne my selfe to him by a sincere love and obedience. Without that the bargain will not hold, and the Covenant p. 237is null. For to think to possesse the price that he payed to buy me, and not deliver to him what he bought, that would be keeping the cloath and the money: that would be affronting the Lord Jesus, and provoking him to keepe his body and blood to himself, since we will not give him our bodies and our spirits in exchange. Can I find in my heart to take so much of him, and deny him so small a thing? And shall I not be moved by the p. 238compassions of God to present my body a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto him which is my reasonable service? Rom. 12.1.

It is my reasonable service indeed to sacrifice my selfe to him that sacrificed himself for me. And since he gives me the incense of his merit, it is my bounden duty to bring to it the fire of my love, to send up to heaven the sweet savour of zeale and praises and of a holy conversation. Since Christ is dead for me, it is my duty to dye for p. 239him, killing within me that Old Man of sinne who hath bin the cause of the death of my Saviour; He loved me when I was by nature his enemie; I will then learne of him to love mine enemies. He hath forgiven me a debt of ten thousand talents, I must forgive a hundreth pence to my fellow servants. Yea, as God forgiveth me offenses without number, so I must to my neighbours. He hath bin obedient to his father even to the death of the Crosse, I must also obey him p. 240in the hardest things, though it were to resist unto blood, I take Christ in his table for my Saviour, I must take him at the same time for my Lord and the pattern for my imitation.

Being thus disposed I will make bold to come neere his holy Table. My soule rejoyce thou in the Lord, Take hold of his salvation, Take hold of himselfe, Get life in his death, and health in his wounds. O tast and see that the Lord is good, Blessed is the man that p. 241trusteth in him. Ps. 34 8. The Lord Jesus hath made an exchange with me. He hath taken my sins upon himself, and put his righteousness upon me. He hath made my peace with God. He hath given me the inheritance of the Saints in the light. Jesus himself is mine inheritance; He is my food, my life, and my joy. To him then I am going with a ferven… zeal both to tak… him, and give my self to him. I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine. I will take him, and will p. 242not let him go. Neither life nor death shall separate me from him.

A PRAYER before the Holy Communion.

MY most gracious God, who hast so loved me as to give thy dear onelyonly Sonne, and deliver him over to the bitter death of the crosse to make propitiation for my sinnes, the pledges and assurances whereof thou p. 243givest me in thy holy Table. My minde is swallowed in the admiration of thy bounty, and loseth it selfe in the boundless and bottomless Ocean of thy compassions; and together I am beaten down with a deepe confusion and griefe, when I consider how unworthy I have made my selfe of thy great love, and how I have provoked thy Iustice▪ O Lord hadst thou borne thy selfe towards me as a Iudge, and hadst thou called me to account how I have observed p. 244thy commandements, and what profit I have made of the talent of thy graces? instead of being invited at this time to be partaker of thy Sonnes body and blood, I should have been cast long ago into outer darknesse, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth, for I have grievously offended against thy lawes and abused thy benefits. I have not been zealous in the duties of thy service, nor diligent in good workes, nor weaned from the love p. 245of the world, nor feruent in thy love, which requireth the whole heart and soule.

But, O my God, thou hast lookt upon my guilty condition through the merit of thy Sonne, and therefore not with an eye of a Judge but of a tender hearted Father. Like as a father pittieth his children, so the Lord pittieth them that feare him. Thou art mercifull and gracious, O Lord, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy. Thou hast not dealt with me after my p. 246sins, nor rewarded me according to mine iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is thy mercy towards me thy sinfull servant. Ps. 103.

Wherefore, O Lord, though I have never so great reason to grieve for my sinnes, I have more reason yet to rejoyce at thy love.

O how great is thy mercy! How wonderfull is thy love, which instead of turning away from me, because I turned away from thee, was pleased to runne p. 247after me, and bring me home when I was lost. What an infinite height of bounty, that thou didst pitty me, not only because I was miserable, but because I was guilty, and to have made me of a subject of thy wrath a motive for thy compassions!

O my God, when I behold upon thy holy table the sacred memorial of the death of my Saviour, and see with the eyes of faith his body and his blood, which are the sinne-offering whereby my p. 248peace was made with thee; Then say I with humble and hearty thankfulnes, joined with a deepe amazement. Who am I Lord that thy beloved Sonne, one God with thee blessed for evermore, should so debase himself for me, as to suffer that I should not suffer, and undergoe the vilest reproach, and the bitterest death of all, to give me his riches, his glory, his kingdome, and, which is more then all, himselfe? That entring into the agonies of his death, p. 249he would make a declaration of his last will, whereby he leaveth me the legacy of his most holy body and blood, and the benefit of his meritorious death. That he would invite me by his gracious command to come and take possession of it, and encourage me to come neere by the inward assurances of faith, that my reconciliation is made with thee by the merit of his obedience. How excellent is thy loving kindnes O God! therefore the children of men put their trust p. 250in the shadow of thy wings, They shall be abundantly satisfyed with the fatnes of thy house, and thou shall make them drinke of the river of thy pleasures. Psal. 36.7.

Now, my God, as the greatness of thy bounty to me is infinitely above mine unworthiness, it is as much above my capacity. And what shall I doe to receive such high benefits worthily? O Lord I might well be in great perplexity upon that point, if the worthiness of the communicants p. 251was necessary for a worthy receiving of thy Sonnes body and blood, Nay it is for a remedy to their unworthiness that they are called by thee to this sacred feast. It is because I am unworthy, It is because I am sinful that I prepare my selfe to come to thy table. It is because I have provoked thy justice that I have now recourse unto the throne of thy grace. It is because I am destitude of righteousness that I come to seeke it in the merit of thy Sonne.

p. 252Yet, Lord, because none can be a real and spiritual guest at thy holy table without the wedding garment and due preparation; I beseech thee, my God, to make thy grace complete in me, give me a serious repentance of my sins, and that sacrifice acceptable unto thee of a broken and a contrite heart. Give me a true faith in thy mercy by the merit of thy Sonne. Cover me with the imputation of his righteousnesse, that nuptial robe requisite to sit at thy table p. 253in thy kingdome, of which this holy Communion is the earnest and the foretaste. Give me a holy appetite of thy grace, that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse, a feeling acknowledgement of thy bounty, the joy of my salvation, the sweet assurances of thy love.

And since our communion with thee is the common bond of the communion of Saints, Give me, O Lord, a sincere charity, whereby I may be one with thee my head, and with all thy redeemed my p. 254fellow-members, and whereby I may have peace with all men. Enable me to shew that I love thee by loving my neighbours and doing them good for thy sake who dost me so much good. As thou forgivest me, give me grace to forgive.

Lord I come to receive the Sacrament of thy Covenant. Grant that I may now renew it, consecrating to thee with a free heart this body and soule which thou hast redeemed. As I live from thee in my nature, and by thee p. 255through redemption, and in thee through regeneration, grant me also to live onelyonly for thee, and glorifie thee in my body and in my Spirit which are thine. Unto thee, O Lord, I humbly present them. O take thou such an absolute possession of them that nothing but thy selfe live in me. That I be now filled with thy grace, and for ever serve to thy glory. Amen

p. 256A Shorter Prayer to use a little before the Communion.

O Lord Jesu, who callest me to thy Table, be pleased to meet me, and bring me to it thy selfe. Give me the two wings of faith and love to raise my heart to thee.

O Sonne of God, who hast given thy selfe for me, and dost at this time give thy selfe to me, open thou my heart to receive thee, give me holy affections to entertaine p. 257thee. That with a confidence tempered with humility and a joy full of holy trembling, I receive this high mystery of my saluation, yea, that I enjoy thine owne selfe really and truly.

O thou that wouldst be conceived in the Virgins wombe, be conceived againe in my heart, that hereafter I may live with thy life.

O thou that wouldst die for me, make me now feele the efficacy of thy death in the comfort of my soule and the mortification of my sinfull affections.

p. 258O thou that art risen from the dead, and ascended to heaven, worke a resurrection of holines in my heart, and a lively faith to ascend to heaven after thee. There to embrace thee, and hold thee, while I take with my hand the outward elements of bread and wine. O bread of life come feede my soule. O holy Ghost give me the true taste of these great mercies. And for the fruits of thy bounty let me ever returne the fruits of my love and thankfulness.

p. 259Thanksgiving after the holy Communion.

MY God, most gracious Father, who hast this day given me the pledges of my salvation & the earnest of eternal life; My God, who hast fed me with the body and blood of thy sonne, and hast quickened me with the merit of his obedience applied to my heart through faith; I am full with thy bounty: My soule is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth praiseth thee with joyful lips. My soule hath been thirsty after thee as a thirsty land, and thou hast made it a watered garden. Psal. 63.5. Psal. 143 6. Isa. 58.11. I have presented unto thee my bruised heart, and thou hast p. 260made it whole with thy sweetest comforts. I came unto thee poore and hungry after thy grace, and I returne rich and full with the bread descended from heaven. O the treasures of thy mercy which passeth all understanding! Thou hast given me thy Sonne. Thou hast given me thine owne selfe. The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance, and of my cup, thou maintainest my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places, yea, I have a goodly heritage. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoyceth, My, flesh also shall rest in hope. Psal. 16.5.

O that I had the tongue of Angels, to give thee glory in the highest, for the peace which thou makest on earth, with the men honored with thy good will! Let thy p. 261redeemed people glorifie thee. Let all thy workes magnifie thee. Let my soule be delivered by thine eternal compassions, comforted by thy love, and already blessed in heavenly places in the person of Christ my head, love thee, praise thee, magnifie thee, and consecrate her selfe unto thee, who hast bestowed thy Sonne upon me. I heartily desire O my God, to set up thy kingdome in my heart, to subject all my affections and imaginations unto thee alone, to have no will but thy will, to know no interest but thy glory, to place all my felicity in walking before thee unto all pleasing.

But, O my God. I live yet in the flesh. The flesh is infirme, Satan is crafty and vigilant to seduce me; And the world is contrary, whether p. 262he persecute me, or smile upon me. My zeale may take a flight to thee, but hath not the wing strong enough to keep me up in that height. And after I am raised up to heaven, I am prone to fall down againe to the ground. Wherefore, O Lord, be pleased to sustaine me with thy vertue from above. And as after sending of thy Sonne thou didst send thy Spirit to thy Church, So now after thou hast given me thy Sonne this day, O give me also the vertue of thy good Spirit.

Yea come, holy Ghost, make my heart thy dwelling place. Sanctifie me to thy selfe, mortifie my sinfull affections. Fill me with faith, charity, meekeness and all Christian vertues. Preserve me against the seductions of the world. Endue me with p. 263strength against all the fiery darts of the wicked.

Be my counsellour in my perplexities, My comforter in my troubles, and my guide in all my wayes.

My God, who hast fed me this day in the hope of a better life spiritual and eternal, Give me grace to begin it already. O enable me to live in earth as they live in heaven, as much as my temporal condition is capable of it, advancing in thy knowledge, loving thee, praising thee and obeying thee with all my heart, with all my soule, with all my strength, and with all my understanding. Suffer me not to love the world, nor the things that are in the world, but let my heart be where my treasure is. 1. Ioh. 3. Mar. 6.

And after I have fought p. 264the good fight, and kept the faith, be pleased to give me the crowne incorruptible of life. Let me finally possesse to the full thy beloved Sonne that loved me and gave himselfe for me. Let me once enjoy that fulness of joy that lyeth in thy presence, and those pleasures for evermore that are at thy right hand, Where I may find mine eternal delight in praising thee eternally, for thine eternal love in thy Sonne Iesus Christ.

To whom with thee and the holy Ghost be glory for evermore. Amen.

FINIS.

End of the text · Peter du Moulin Jr, A Week of Soliloquies and Prayers (1657)