The Fathers Counsel, Letter
THE FATHERS COVNSELL.
OR, Certain uſefull Directions, for all young perſons, eſpecially elder Brothers, whoſe portion it is or may be, in theſe perilous daies, to be left in a Fatherleſſe or Friendleſſe Condition.
By W. T.
LONDON, Printed by G M, for Chriſtopher Meredith at the ſigne of the Crane in Pauls Church-yard, 1644.
THE FATHERS COUNSELL.
My Sonne,
GOD hath given thee thy being, in a dolefull age, thou liveſt in times ſtreaming in bloud, abounding in ſinne; and alas, therefore bloudy, becauſe ſinfull, and thine unhappineſſe is the greater, (though perchance thy feare be the leſſe) that thy bloſſome years, render thee unſenſible of the preſent miſery. Life is now, to them that can judge of it, a ſad and melancholy thing, death uncertain, yet at our doors, friends proove flaggy, and foes mercileſſe, the world deceitfull, diſtractions rage within us and dangers without us, GODS judgements round about us, and this is the temper of theſe times; And now my Sonne, how wilt thou demeane thy ſelfe, in this comfortleſſe condition. To reſt upon Friends is but a fading ſhelter, Alas how many perils be there on all ſides, to take them from thee. To reſt on other meanes, they may proove but broken reeds, for where the Enemy comes, he commonly ſweepes cleane and leaves men, almoſt as naked to the world, as Nature brought them into it; Now where Friends and humane Supports fail, what ſhall be thy Refuge? Why, let Davias charge to his ſoule, be the practiſe of thine, Put thy truſt in God. Put thy truſt in God, for God and a good conſcience in Sunſhine daies are the ſweeteſt joyes, and in the times of trouble the ſafeſt harbours, when ſtormes ariſe, and windes blow, and billowes ſwell, and no Haven appeares, but bloud and death riot in all places, yet even then an honeſt and ſincere heart, which hath made it's peace with God through Chriſt, is as ſafely harboured as Noah in his Arke, when the waves ſurrounded him. Now, my Sonne, becauſe it is not given mee to know to what times, or length of dayes God hath reſerved thee, and for that it may poſſibly be thy portion, to ſurvive the calamities this preſent age groanes under, and perchance in the meane time looſe all thoſe faithfull Friends, to whoſe counſels forthy Education, God and Nature hath ingaged thee, I thought it fit to leave thee in ſupply of other helpes, theſe enſuing Directions
Firſt, Know this, and lay it up in the Cloſet of your heart, as your deareſt and chiefeſt meditation, That the feare of the Lord is the beginning of wiſdome: A good underſtanding have they that doe thereafter, the pariſe of it endures for ever.
For your carriage towards God let it be even, cloſe and regular, walk ſully with him, reſt firmely on him, therefore take ſpeciall heed of ſpiritual diſtempers, to be ſometimes hot, ſometimes cold, ſometimes lukewarme, but labour for ſtability in Religion, as well as truth, for this will arme you againſt the breakings out of your corrupt heart, and againſt thoſe diverſities of temptations which the world and the devill will be ſure to caſt upon thee.
For your carriage towards men, and your ordinary demeanour in the generall courſe of your life, ſee your dealings be faire, your words faithfull, your heart ſincere, your converſation lovely, let thy life ſpeake thy Religion, rather then thy Diſcourſe, be courteous towards all, but familiar onelyonly with the beſt, and make ſuch your boſome friends, in whoſe choice ſociety you may happily either doe, or receive ſome good. This courſe will begin you a Heaven upon Faith, and keepe your ſoul alwa es in an improoving condition.
What ever your ſtate of life ſhall be, whether conjugall or ſingle, be ſure to exerciſe your abilities, in ſome particular calling, I wiſh it may be in the Miniſtery, this is the chiefeſt in my deſires, and I pray God it may proove the deareſt in your affections, but I ſpeake this in way of adviſe, not injunction, for the bent and ready inclination of your mind muſt much direct your choice in this particular, but however your Genius frame, I here charge you, that as you tender the admonition of a Father, to whoſe faithfull Inſtructions God hath obliged you, that you deteſt with a perfect hatred, that ſpecious, but pernicious ſinne of idleneſſe, Yea that you abhorre and abandon it with as much indignation as you would a poiſonfull Serpent; for this deſtructive vice will render you diſpleaſing to God, unprofitable to the world, unfruitfull in your Familie, contagious to all men, ſcandalous to the beſt, and burthen ſom to your ſelfe, believe it, God hath not placed man on Earth, as the Leviathan in the Sea, to take his paſtime therein, But man (ſaith Iob) is borne to labour; as the ſparkes flie upward, ſo naturally. And here let no elder Brother ſhelter himſelfe under is faire eſtate, or plead the Inheritance of his Father, for his ſloth, for Caine and Abel, though heires of the whole world had their imploiments; and the precept is generall reaching in all degrees of perſons, Of the ſweat of thy browes ſhalt thou eat thy bread.
As for the ordering of the eſtate wherewith God ſhall intruſt you, for you muſt remember you are but his Steward, be frugall, but not baſe, circumſpect, but not unjuſt, One pennie in a pound ill gotten, may like a theefe in the Candle, eate out all the reſt of your increaſe, Inlarge your heart in works of merciemercy towards others, as God ſhall be pleaſed, to inlarge his hand of bountie towards you. This is the ſureſt waie to make your life more comfortable and your eſtate more full. Let your Hoſpitalitie be moderate, and according to the meaſure of thy eſtate, rather plentifull then ſparing, but not coſtly, for I never knew any grow poor by keeping an orderly Table, but ſome conſume themſelves through ſecret vices, and then Hoſpitalitie beares the blame. Bee ſure to baniſh drunkenneſſe out of thy houſe, which is a ſwiniſh vice, and doth impaire the health, both of bodie and ſoule, conſumes much and makes no ſhew.
Let it be the buſineſſe of thine heart, as well as of thine eie to have religious Exerciſes, conſtantly performed in thy Familie, twice in the daie at the leaſt, if not oftner, beſides thy private Devotions; And that the ſame may bee performed with ſuch honour, regard and reverence, as becomes ſo high a worke, poſt not off that ſervice to ſome ordinarie Servant (as is too commonly done) (for who is ſufficient for theſe things) but diſcharge it zealouſly diſtinctly and underſtandingly in thine owne perſon; Take heed of carrying on theſe Exerciſes in thy houſhold as a ſet and impoſed taske onelyonly, as thinking vvhen the praiers are ended, the buſineſſe is done. I tell thee, thou maieſt ſpeake much to God and pray little; This buſineſſe is a work of the inner man; and therefore whatſoever you doe for God, doe it with all your might; Call in your will, underſtanding, affections, all the faculties of your ſoule to give attendance on this dutie. One thing more, if any ſudden and unexpected accident have mooved thy paſſions, and raiſed ſome tempeſt within thee; O pray not to God in that temper, but approach thou to God, as God came to Elijah, in a quiet and ſtill voyce, not in a whirlewind. God is a God of love and peace, and therfore compoſe thy heart and becalme all diſtempers in thy minde before thou preſume into the preſence of ſo high a Majeſtie.
And here (my Sonne) I muſt admoniſh thee of a neceſſarie dutie, the which indeed (ſhame to this inlightened and knowing age) is little knowne and leſſe practiſed, that is, the Catechizing and inſtructing of ſervants and children in the grounds of Religion, in private Families, by the Maſters and Governours thereof; Which courſe were it more generally and effectually ſet upon, certainly God would be more glorified, his Word and Sacraments, more reverently handled, and the People better edified, then our former daies have ſeene. I know well the dutie of Catechizing (the generall neglect wherof the Land hath cauſe to lament with teares of bloud) doth properly belong to the Paſtorall charge, yet all Maſters of Families are or ought to be, like Abraham and Ioſhuah, Prieſts and Prophets in their owne houſes, and helpe laie the foundation of Religion in the peoples hearts, that ſo by both working together, the buſineſſe might be advanced to a more glorious improovement; were this neceſſary dutie throughly preſſed, and underſtandingly carried on through all parts of this Kingdome, then ſhould we not to our ſcandall and ſcorne, ſee ſo many Schiſmes in our Church, ſo many diſorders and fractions in the State, ſuch diverſities of opinions broached amongſt us, ſuch unmannerly and unreverent carriage in Gods worſhip in many places. In a word, then ſhould wee not ſee ſo many thouſand poore ſoules periſh for want of knowledge, walking in the darke waies of their owne ſeduced hearts, and acting all things as their luſts, or (perchance) ſome ignorant leaders guide them. My Sonne, according to thy place, power and parts do thou thy dutie in this particular, and ſtirre up others in the proſecution hereof, as knowing that hee which converts a ſoule from the errour of his waie, ſhall ſhine as the Starres in the Firmament.
If it ſhall pleaſe God to bring thee tomans eſtate, uſe exceeding great care and caution in the choice of thy wife, if thy affections incline that waie. And herein in the firſt place ſeeke unto God to counſell thee, and he will direct thy path, you have his promiſe for it, Prov. 3.6. in all thy ways acknowledge him (ſaith Solomon) and he ſhall direct thy wayes: This adviſe is better known then well improved, often ſpoken, exceeding, ſeldome done, but take you Gods word for good ſecu\ritie, beleeve it, the Pſalmiſts words are true, Pſalm. 9.10. Hee never faileth them that ſeeke him; Now when you have conſulted with God, be induſtriouſly inquiſitive into the diſpoſition, inclination, ſtocke, but eſpecially the Religion of the partie commended to your choice, for its heavie drawing in an uneven yoak, and however it be true, that parentage, parts and portion are good Ingredients in your match, yet theſe muſt not be the principles to guide your choice, let her be gracious rather then great, yet richly adorned, I meane, all glorious within, and then what ever imperfections ſhall ariſe from her nature, they will be her urthen as well as thine; Religion is the ſweeteſt and ſtrongeſt tie, and thoſe that are ſo conjoyned, nothing but death, nay in truth, neither life nor death can part them.
If God ſhall be pleaſed to bleſſe you hereafter with any children, be carefull to preſent before their bloſſom yeares, an unblameable life, in your owne example, For your perſonall demeanour and ordinarie carriage amongſt them will have a verie powerfull Influence upon their diſpoſitions, they being alwaies exceedingly inclined to take in the habits either of vertue or vice from their parents footſteps. And therefore if you find any naturall Infirmities (be it paſſion) or any other innate qualitie) tolie ſtrong upon you, labour to beare downe the ſtrength therof at all times, but eſpecially in the preſence of your children, leaſt your actuall breakings out, inflame their ſparkes, and cauſe thoſe ill ſeeds to budd forth in them, which your nature hath ſetled in their bloud. Certainely much Chriſtian prudence may be ſhewed in the education of Children, by ſtopping the ſtreame of their inclinations in the budd, before they flow too high, and by ſeaſoning their mind with religious principles before their corruptions are fortified in them, otherwiſe at will prove true, Difficulter eradicatur quod rudes animi combiberunt.
In your ordinarie Converſation amongſt your children, be not ſo indulgently familiar, as to make them forget their diſtance, nor ſo rigoriouſly auſteere,as to diſcourage them. I am perſwaded the fooliſh cockering of ſome Parents, and the overſterne carriage of others, cauſeth more men and women to miſcarrie, then their own vicious inclinations.
Give your children a competent maintenance according to your abilitie, otherwiſe your life will ſeem their bondage, and what portion you ſhall leave them, they will thanke death for it, not you Bring them up in Religion, learning and obedience, and neglectnot to ſettle them in ſome honeſt vocation; for if thou doeſt not imploy thy children, the devill will. Better thy ſonne were a basket-maker then an idle droane.
As concerning the ordering of thy Familie, let that be like a little Citie compacted in it ſelfe. Vnitie and unanimitieare beautifull accommodations in everie houſhold, and where they are advanced and preſerved inviolable, they facilitate domeſticall imploiments, cauſing them to be carried on with more alacritie and ſweetneſſe. In a word, where Truth and Peace, in any civill ſocietie, doe kiſſe each other, and goe hand in hand together, they uſher in Gods love, and do clearly evidence that God is in that place indeed, for it is God that makes men to be of one mind in a houſe: Therefore labour earneſtly in thy Familie to make good the Apoſtolical counſell, namely to keepe the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Let thy friends and allies be welcome to thy Table, grace them with thy countenance, and further them in all honeſt actions, for by this means thou ſhalt ſo double the bond of nature, as that thou ſhalt find them ſo many Advocates, to pleade and apologize for thee, behind thy backe. But ſhake off thoſe Gloworms, I mean Paracits and Sychophonts, who will feed and fawne upon thee, in the Summer of thy proſperity, but in adverſe ſtormes will ſhelter thee, no more then an arbour in winter.
Vndertake no ſuit againſt a poore man without receiving much wrong, for beſides that thou makeſt him thy competitour; it is a baſe conqueſt to triumph where there is ſmall reſiſtance, and can be little gaine; neither attempt Law againſt any man, before thou be ſure, thou haſt right on thy ſide, and then ſpare for neither monie nor pains, for a cauſe or two ſo followed and obtained may free the from ſuits a great part of thy life.
Carrie thy mind equally poyſed through all conditions that ſhall befall thee, if God be gracious to thee in a large diſpenſation of his bleſſings, be thankefull, but not ſecure, perchance ſome ſtorm may be neare at hand, and its wiſdome in the midſt of abundance to expect a change or, on the otherſide, if God ſhallcaſt thee under a Cloud, lay ſome preſſure upon thee, be humble, but not diſcouraged, perchance God will have the world become more bitter to thee, that himſelfe may become more ſweet.
What ever thou wouldeſt judge beſt, if thou wert now to dye, the ſame thinke alwaies beſt, even in thy moſt healthfulleſt condition, for howſoever a ſeduced heart doth deceive us, certainely that whih is beſt at laſt is beſt at firſt too, and that is the happieſt life which is ruled by dying Principles.
When thou ſeeſt ſo much buſſing and diſtemper in the world, caſt with thy ſelf, who would bottom his ſoul upon ſo baſe a foundation, and uncertain hold, and be incited hereupon to looke upwards, and labour with all thy might to get an intereſt in Jeſus Chriſt, for union with him alwaies drawes ſafetie and protection from him; And whoſoever feares to offend him unfainedly, hee needes feare nothing elſe.
If a man be a diligent obſerver of his courſe of life, he ſhall ſeldome find himſelfe free from all kind of offences, but one corruption ſhall trouble him much, if another be weakned, yea and without much ſtrength of grace ſhall prevaile againſt him; luſts will be violent and hardly take an anſwer; but, my Son, though theſe unluckie birds light upon thy head, yet let them not lodge within thy heart, and becauſe every man hath his boſome ſin, which doth more ſtrongly and more oft beſiege him, ſtrive to finde that out, and then keepe the ſtrongeſt watch, where thou ſuſpecteſt the greateſt batterie.
When thou addreſſeſt thy ſelfe to any dutie or imployment, whether it be ſpirituall or civill: Never attempt any thing, haeſitante animo, with a doubtful and devided mind, but be alwaies clearly ſatisfied in thy judgement of the lawfulneſſe of that which thy heart or hand ſhall go about, otherwiſe thy too late providence may procure thee long repentance; if the caſe be of that nature, that thou canſt not wind thy ſelfe out, light thy candle at others, whom thou haſt cauſe to thinke by their place and parts ſhould ſee further then thy ſelfe. Certainly many Chriſtians would find more ſound peace within, did thy ſeeke themſelves more abroad, I meane, if in a prudentiall waie, they did cloſe in with ſome faithfull Paſtour or friend, to be a conſtant counſellor to them, and who in caſes of difficulty and above their reach might give them aime and direction; But alas ſo ſtrong is old Adam in us, that wee oftentimes times feare to aske adviſe, becauſe we would not be taken off and unadviſed from thoſe things to which our corrupted hearts adviſe us, this is a cunning ſlight of Sa…an, take thou heed of it, and in all thy undertakings, conſider and conſult, and then go on with chearfulneſſe, and thou wilt conclude with peace.
There is a common deceit of heart, poſſeſſeth many Chriſtians, in the hearing of the word, which becauſe it ſuits ſo well with corrupt nature, is hardly diſcovered by them. Many there are, who delight to feed altogether upon on the Mountaines high and loftie ſpeculations, exceedingly take them; but if the Preacher carry on his endeavours in an humble and low ſail, they find but cold acceptance. This is an evill under the Sunne, and it is much amongſt men, it is a plague in the heart, which wanton wits will one day mourn for. But thou, my Son, know, God never ſet up this glorious Ordinance of preaching, to wooe the fancie, but to win the ſoule: Abuſe not therfore his loving kindnes unto wantonnes, but ever eſteeme that moſt pleaſant to thy eare, which proves moſt fruitfull to thy ſoule.
Iudge not of thy preſent condition by the plentifull meanes of grace thou liveſt under, but by what thou feeleſt, and what thou art, if the Ordinances of God have wrought upon thy inward man, and thou findeſt the frame, temper and diſpoſition of thy ſoule renewed, then haſt thou ſome comfortable evidence of a growing condition; but if there be no new Creation wrought in thee; if thou continueſt as proud as ever, as fruitleſſe as ever, as profane as ever, then certainly the word of grace, though in it ſelfe, it be the word of life, Yet hitherto hath been but a dead letter unto thee, nay thou art therefore worſe, becauſe thou ſhouldeſt be better; The light which thou haſt received will but heighten thy ſin, and adde weight to thy puniſhment.
Many heare much yet take in little fruit, becauſe they write much, but uſe no after reckonings, and ſo by this means looſe both their pains and profit; this is one of Satans ſleights, who when he cannot hinder the free paſſage of Gods Ordinances, labours to make them ſucceſſleſſe in their uſe. Take heed of this deluſion. Shouldſt thou note off halfe thy daies, thou canſt call nothing more thine owne then what thou doſt remember, nor will that further pleaſure thee then as it ſhall be digeſted into thy underſtanding, and affection and practiſe. Miſtake not, I ſpeak not this to diſcourage thee in the practiſe of this particular, which I doe highly commend, but to direct thee in the uſe.
It may tend much to the advantage of thy ſoule, in thy Chriſtian race, ſometimes to run over the Story of thy former vanities, and to ſtudy the ſeverall paſſages of Gods gracious providence over thee in the days of thy Youth, as to meditate in ſuch manner,*Quanta ſuper eos gratia Deus vigilat quos in ſua de ſi deria non relaxat. Had not the good hand of God reſtrained me, when the luſt of my fleſh and the pleaſures of my eye, were the onelyonly joy of my heart; alas how eaſily might ſin and Satan have then enthralled me, and my luſt have become my Law; but bleſſed be God who hath not given me over as a prey to my corruptions, he hath broken the ſnare, and my ſoul is delivered, Therefore whilſt I live, will I praiſe the Lord, yea, ſo long as I have any being, I will ſing praiſes to my God.
Thy whole life, whilſt thou ſojourneſt in this vally of tears is nothing els but a dying condition, a continuall progreſſe unto death, it will be thy wiſdome therfore without further procraſtinations, to improve this golden, yet ſliding opportunitie, to the beſt advantage of thy ſoule, as knowing thou ſoweſt here that ſeed, the fruit whereof will hereafter in another world either for good or for evill, ſpring up to an everlaſting harveſt. And therfore in all thy thoughts, words, actions, directions, and concluſions, Let that pretious rule of the Prophet David be thy vade mecum, live and die with thee, Keepe innocency and doe the thing which is right, for that will bring a man peace at the laſt. And ſince that, where thy treaſure is, there will thy heart be alſo, therefore where thy God is, there let thy treaſure be.
All creature comforts have their allaies of bitternes, their ingredients of ſorrowes in them, they are but ſhadowes and vanity, being laid in the …allance to things above. Alas what is all the riches thou …anſt here enjoy to the gaine of Chriſt, what thy honour to the inheritance of the Saints, what thy comforts to the joy of the Spirit; yea what thy life to that everlaſting, ever glorious being, whoſe joyes ſhall never find either bounds or bottom; ô therfore labour inſtantly, pray unceſſantly, that thou maiſt be able to feele & ſay, The Lord is my portion, therfore can I lack nothing; for hee muſt needs have all things, who poſſeſſeth him that poſſeſſeth all things. Now that thou maiſt have ſound evidence in thy ſoul, that thytreaſure is above thee, Lay out all the ſtrength of thy indeavors to gain a burning & flaming love towards God into thy ſoul, ô how happy Chriſtians ſhould we be, could we in Davids words with Davids ſpirit ſay, Lord I love thee dearly. Indeed we cannot love him fully, yet in his gracious and ſweet acceptance, We love him ſufficiently, if wee love him faithfully. And in what meaſure we love God, we are ſure in a far higher and more tranſcendent meaſure to be beloved of him. Nemo diffidate ſe amari qui jam amat, quomodo enim amare pigebit qui amavit, nec dum amantes.
FINIS.
End of the text · William Tipping, The Fathers Counsel (1644)