The Sinfulness of Evil Thoughts, Treatise · Chapter 14
CHAP. XIV. Of Deſpairing Thoughts.
BUT Thoughts of Deſpair, which often follow on thoſe hard Thoughts before ſpoken of, and do therefore fitly follow the handling of them, are of all ſads, the ſaddeſt; and it may be ſaid of them more truly then the Philoſopher ſaid of Death, of all Terribles, the moſt Terrible; more dreadfull then foreign.death it ſelf, yea as black as hell, from which they are but one remove diſtant. Deſpair is the ſaddeſt Diſeaſe and Torment incident to the ſoul of man, living or dead; To the living it is the upper region of hell, and the ſuburbs of it, to the which no darkneſſe or ſhadow of death is to be compared, no nor in his own thoughts hell flames torment not more; And to the dead, it is their nethermoſt hell, the ſting of the ſecond death, and the victory and triumph of hell. A moſt wofull and ſinfull condition, wherein two ſeas meet, (as once to ſhipwrack Paul.) 1. The pain Act. 27. 41.of loſſe, the greateſt loſſe, Gods favour, and the comfort of it. 2. And the pain of ſenſe, the greateſt ſenſe of Gods wrath, and the terrors of the Lord to ſhipwrack the diſtreſſed ſoul, yea ordinarily the two ſeas of ſin and miſery meet together, threatning the preſent and eternal ruine of ſuch poor creatures, to make their miſerable condition above all meaſure miſerable. Yet can I not but ſay, ſome ſuch as theſe may ſeize on a godly ſoul, whoſe life is hid with Chriſt in God, and bound up in a bundle of eternall love and life: even godly ſoules have been often at the very brink, of deſpair; The ſorrows even of Pſal. 18. 4. & 116. 3.hell, have taken hold of them, and flouds of Beliall have made them afraid. The Accuſer of the Brethren, ſometimes, caſteth out a flood Rev. 12. 10, 15.of theſe out of his mouth, to ſwallow them up alive as thoſe that go into the pit▪ aggravating Prov. 1. 12.to their awakened & affrightned Conſciences their ſins to be unpardonable, and Gods Juſtice as unappeſable, the Laws ſentence of condemnation nation as irrevocable, and the interpoſition of Chriſts death as unavailable. Hence have they Jonah 2. 4. Pſal. …8. 4. & 40. 12. Job 6. 3. Pſal. 42. 7.cryed out, I am caſt out of thy ſight, my ſins are gone over my head, my heart hath failed me. my grief is heavier than the ſand. All thy waves and billows are gone over me, And ſometimes have cried out, their ſorrow was inexpreſſible, Job 7. 15. Job. 6. 4. Job 3. 1.their ſoules could chooſe ſtrangling rather then life, the terrors of God have ſet themſelves in array againſt them, made them a terror to themſelves, yea they have made bitter exclamations, accurſing themſelves, their ſtates, their birth and life; yea have cried out, as if they had been in the ſulphurous lake and belly of Hell, and that the pit had ſhut her mouth upon them.
And all this while, more fear than danger, the Lord may bring down to Hell, and bring 1 Sam. 2. 6.up to Heaven. The Lord will not caſt off for ever, but though he cauſe grief, yet will he have compaſſion according to the multitude of his mercies, Lam. 3. 31, 32. Yea it is as impoſſible that a ſoul that hath the leaſt ſeed of God in it, and the leaſt of Chriſt, a ſin-bewailing, a Chriſt-thirſting ſoul, ſhould be held faſt of the powers of Hell, as it was for Chriſt Act. 2. 24.himſelf to be holden by them; the Lord will not leave their ſouls in hell, nor ſuffer the leaſt of his Saints to inherit corruption. The leaſt of the New Creature and true Grace, is too good to be caſt away.
But this is ordinarily the caſe of flagicious and atrocious offenders, who have often reſiſted the Spirit of God, and ruſhed into ſin as the horſe into the battell; who having firſt ſinned away their Conſciences, and afterwards their hopes, they find that which they leaſt feared to have come upon them, their ſins have now found them out, and are as ſo many devils ſtaring Num. 32. 23.them in the face. The juſt Judgement of God. They who grieved the good Spirit of God, and would none of his counſels, have an evil Spirit from the Lord, ſent to terrifie 1 Sam. 16. 15.them, as Saul had, & they are of God delivered up to Satan, now they find their Judgment (before ſlighted) lingereth no more, nor doth their damnation ſlumber, but they look upon themſelves, as if God and Satan had agreed in their deſtruction, & to laugh at their calamity.
What words can expreſſe the miſery of this condition! They are like the raging ſea, ſaith the Prophet, which cannot reſt, whoſe waters caſt out mire and dirt. They have all Eſa. 57. 20. Job. 20. 26.darkneſſe hid in their ſecret place, ſaith Zophar, as if all Hel had exhauſted it ſelf and adjorned his reſidence thither. Yea, his heart meditates terror, dreaming, talking of, and feeling nothing but devouring flames, and everlaſting burnings. Their ſight is gaſhly, their ſpeech amazing, and the remembrance of them will not eaſily out of the mind of the ſad beholders. Who can read or mention Spira's, and ſuch like caſes without horror?
A ſad caſe I confeſſe, and not eaſily admitting remedy. Yet let me ſay, This caſe of deſpair is not altogether without hope, if at any time they repent, they may be recovered out of the ſnares, and power of the Devil, though taken captives by him at his will; if he fly to Chriſt, he is able to ſave to the utmoſt. Beleeve it, there is not ſo much malignity in all the ſin of the world, or malice in Satan, as there is mercy in God, and merit in Jeſus Chriſt, unleſſe we ſhall ſay, finite, is more then Infinite, and the creature ſtronger then the Creator. Adde not therefore finall impenitency to all former Impiety, and obdurate unbeliefe to former diſobedience, and deſparation to thy long preſumption, and thou maieſt yet be ſafe. For firſt, It is ſaid H…b. 7. 25.Chriſt is able to ſave to the utmoſt all that come to God by him, therefore there is no doubting of his power: Save to the utmoſt] not to ſuch, or ſuch a degree, no further, but further, and further than ever thou haſt ſinned. Many men have often ſinned to their utmoſt, doing evill with both hands as they could; But Chriſt never yet ſhewed mercy or ſaved to his utmoſt, but he is able to out-doe all that we have done, or can aske, yea to out-doe all that himſelf hath done, pardoning yet greater ſins to penitents then ever yet were pardoned, if greater could be committed. Then ſecondly, conſider Ezek. 18. 23. and 33. 11.further, that thou mighteſt not make queſtion of his will, he hath ſaid, I deſire not the death of a ſinner. Him that cometh to Joh. 6. 37.me I will in no wiſe caſt out. There is you ſee power and will both engaged to ſave thee; So that it is not his will-not, but thy will not hinders thy ſalvation. Why will ye dye, ſaith he: I would ye would not; nor is it Gods Ezek. 18. 31. Mat. 23. 37.ſhall not, but thy care not, excludes thee heaven.
Thirdly, if thou ſhalt ſay, I have committed the ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt, therefore there is no mercy for me; I anſwer, what ever that ſin be, it is not that ſin ſhall be unpardoned if thou doſt repent, for the greatneſſe of that ſin doth not exceed the vertue of Chriſts bloud, (no nor the ſin of Devils neither, I would not feare to ſay Chriſts bloud was a ſufficient price to ranſome them, if God had ſo intended, but it was never his intention ſo to do, becauſe he took not the nature of Angels, but the ſeed of the woman) I ſay therefore, hadſt thou Heb. 2. 16.ſinned that ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt, yet mercy might be had upon repentance; But it is therefore concluded to be unpardonable, becauſe they that go into that, return not again, they are never renewed by repentance, as the Apoſtle ſpeakes. But doſt Peccatum in Spiritum Sanctum non poteſt accidere ſitientibus juſtitiam Chriſti. Dickſon. Ther. ſacr. l. 2. c. 4.thou mourn, grieve, complain, weep, lament and ſay, thou haſt ſinned that ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt, that cannot be.
Fourthly, But if thou ſhalt yet perſiſt in thy willfull rejecting the mercy and putting away the Kingdome of God from thee, with that foule cavill and blackeſt objection in all the Bible, Oh but I am a reprobate, and Ezek. 33. 10.if our tranſgreſsions and ſins be upon us, and we pine away in them, how can we then live, ſay they. And Job once, If I be wicked, why labour I in Job. 9. 29.vaine? q. d. I may as well ſit ſtill, all endeavors are in vain.
I anſwer 1. God hath no where declared of this, that, or any man, that he is a reprobate; no man can ſay it of himſelf, no Reprobationis indicium nullum certum dedit Deus praeter peccatum in Spiritum S. quod non poteſt accidere ſitientibus juſtitiam Chriſti, & finalem impenitentiam, quae compleri non poteſt niſi in ipſa morte. Idem ibid. Ezek. 33. 11.man may ſay it of another; nor doth Satan, or any Angel know who is a reprobate; Election may at length come to be known, and thence aſſurance, but reprobation never; So long as there is life, there is hope, for though he that is in ſtate of grace to day ſhall be to morrow: yet you cannot ſay, he that is in ſtate of wrath to day, ſhall be to morrow, Who can tell how long and how far one may go in a way of ſin, ere he come to be paſt grace, never to return?
2. Doth not the Lord ſay, As I live, I deſire not the death of a ſinner? Turn and live, repent ſin ſhall not be your ruine. It is not Gods eternal decree of reprobation therefore doth make thee uncapable of ſalvation, but they own willfull ſin and perſiſting in it, caſt away thy ſin, thou ſhall never be a caſtaway. Thy ſin is the bar, not Gods Ezek. 18. 31. 1 Sam. 15. 23.decree. None are rejected by God, but ſuch as with Saul have firſt rejected the word of the Lord. In a word, it is thy election and love of ſin that thou haſt more cauſe to feare, then Gods reprobation and hatred of thee.
3. I ſay, conſider of it, doth not the Lord Act. 17. 30. 2 Pet. 3. 9. 1 Jo 5. 10.call all men every where to repent? And ſay, he is not willing any ſhould periſh, but all come to repent, and wi…t thou exclude thy ſelfe and make God a liar ſetting his ſecret decree againſt his revealed will; He hath commanded the Goſpel to be preached to every creature, Mar. 16. 15. 16.and ſaid he that beleeveth, ſhall be ſaved, he that beleeveth not, ſhall be damned. And therefore as I would not fear to ſay to an elect (as to Solomon) if thou forſake the 1 Chron. 28. 9. Gen. 4. 7.Lord, he will caſt thee off for ever; ſo to a Cain if thou do well, or repent of evil, ſhalt thou not be accepted? As the moſt righteous hath no cauſe to hope (notwithſtanding his election) if he repent of his repentance, and turn from his righteouſneſſe, ſo the Ez…k. 18. 24. and 27. compared.unbeliever, and unrighteous (notwithſtanding any decree of reprobation feared) hath no cauſe to deſpair if he break off his ſin.
4. I ſay the pit hath not yet ſhut her mouth upon thee, nor is the gulph fixed. There is a poſsibility of ſalvation to any yet living; while there is life, there is hope: out of the Hell of deſpair there is redemption, though out of the deſpair of Hell there is no redemption. Hell is not ſo eaſily born as thou conceiveſt, how glad would they be in Hell, if there were now ſo much as any poſſibility. Deſpiſe not the laſt offer of grace; If thou canſt beleeve, all things are Mar. 9. 23.poſsible to him that beleeveth, there is a poſsibility that thou maieſt beleeve, though yet thou doſt not, or canſt not; Say, I cannot beleeve, if thou wilt; Say not with Thomas I ſhall no…, I will not beleeve; yet didſt thou ſo Jo. 20. 25.conclude, thou mighteſt after come to cry out with higheſt rejoycings of aſſurance with him, My Lord, and my God: Nay if Jo. 20. 28.thou art come to that, to ſay there is no poſsibility in thee to be ſaved, Are our impoſsibles impoſsible with God? Our Saviour ſpeaking of the difficulty of the ſalvation of ſome, reſolves and ſtaies it upon Gods omnipotency; With man this is impoſsible, but with Mar. 10. 27.God all things are poſsible. Hang therefore upon poſsibility to beget deſires, and on theſe deſires till thou getteſt hope, on hope (above or againſt hope) till thou come to faith, on faith till thou come to aſſurance, Say I will look up to his holy temple, I will Jonah. 2. 4.look up to the mercy-ſeat, and if I periſh, I will not periſh with my hands in my boſome, but I will repent, mourn, pray, and when I have done my part, the Lord do with me what he will. I have read of one in deſpair, whom Satan perſwaded in was in vain to pray, or ſerve God, for he muſt certainly go to Hell, who yet went to prayer and begged of God that if he muſt go to Hell when he died, yet he would pleaſe to give him leave to ſerve him while he lived, upon which his terrors vaniſhed, being clearly convinced, none could pray that prayer that had ſinned the ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt.
5. Let me ſay to thee, as Tamar to Amnon in another caſe: This later evil in turning 2 Sam. 13. 16.mercy out of doors, is worſe then the former in abuſing it, and forcing it to ſerve thy luſts? Both are nought, this worſe. The ſin of Cain deſpairing, was worſe then the killing his brother, there he wronged Juſtice, here mercy; thereby he violated the law, hereby he diſparaged the Goſpel, thereby he ſet light by the bloud of his brother, hereby of the bloud of a Saviour, which crieth louder for better things, then the bloud of Abel for vengeance: we ſay the like of Judas deſpair, Heb. 12. 24.it was a greater ſin then the betraying of his Maſter.
Laſtly, If thou muſt have examples to encourage thee, who ſayeſt none was ever ſuch a one as my ſelf and pardoned, conſider what is written in Scripture; Manaſſes was a man given over to all wickedneſſe, an Idelater, 2 Chron. 33. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.Corrupter of Gods worſhip, a man of bloud, a conſulter with familiar ſpirits, the greateſt contemner of the Prophets and commands of God that could be, yet found mercy when he was humbled. And Paul who had been before a perſecutor, and a blaſphemer, and injurious in the higheſt degree 1 Tim. 1. 13, 14, 15.to make him the greateſt of ſinners, yet found mercy.
We could inſtance in ſome others of our own knowledge, having many gracious experiences of that truth, Where ſin hath abounded, grace hath more then abounded, ſuper abounded, And where ſin hath reigned (as a tyrant) Ro. 5. 20. 21.unto death and condemnation, grace hath reigned (as a gracious King) unto eternall life, in acts of pardon and mercy through Jeſus Chriſt.
But I ſhall content my ſelfe to give thee one as ſad an example as you ſhall ordinarily meet with, out of Aretius a Godly and eminent Author, ſpeaking of the ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt. I ſaw, ſaith he, and knew the man my ſelf, and it is no fained ſtory: There was, ſaith he, a Merchant at Strasbourgh, whoſe whole l…fe was abominable for whordome, Uſury, drunkenneſſe, contempt of Gods word, he ſpent his lfe in gaming and whoring to his old age, at Aret. in Mat. 12. 32.laſt he came to reflect on himſelf, and be ſenſible of the dreadfull judgments of God hanging over his head: Then did his conſcience ſo affright, and the Devil accuſe and terrifie him, that he fell into open, and down right deſperation, he confeſſed, and yeelded himſelfe to the Devil as being his; he ſaid, the mercy and grace of God could not be ſo great as to pardon ſins ſo great as his; Then what horrour was upon him, gnaſhing of death, weeping, wayling, yea he would challenge Satan, and wiſh the Devill would fetch him away to his deſtined torments, he threw himſelfe all along upon the ground, refuſed both meat and drink; had you ſeen him you could never have forgot him wh…le you had lived, you had ſeen the fulleſt pattern of a deſpairing perſon: Yet ſaith, after the many paines of Godly and learned men who came to him, watched with him, reaſoned with him, laid open the word and will of God, and after many prayers publick and private put up for him, at length he recovered, and became truly penitent, and having lived piouſly for certain years after, he died peaceably. Wherefore he concludeth, it is not an eaſy matter to determine of any man ſinning againſt the Holy Ghoſt, and uncape…ble of mercy, ſo long as he yet live….