A Treatise of Self-Denial, Chapter 4 · Section 2 · Subsection 2 · Sub-subsection 15
The Fifteenth Direction.
15 Keep in minde your former experiences.
1 The experiences which you have had of Self-ſeeking.
2 The experiences which you have had of Self-denial.
1 The experiences of Self-ſeeking, in theſe two particulars.
1 What experiences you have had of the evil of Self-ſeeking.
2 What experiences you have had of the wayes and means whereby you have been drawn to it.
1 The experiences of the evil of Self-ſeeking.
1 Of the evill of ſin in it.
2 Of the evill of ſuffering by it.
Firſt, What experiences you have had of the evill of ſin in it. Before you were exhorted to conſider what evill of ſin there is in it, here to remember what evill of ſin you have found in it by your own experience.
1 Hath it not made you neglect many a duty? as praying, hearing, meditating, &c.
2 Hath it not made you venture upon many a ſin? as lying, ſwearing, defranding, &c.
3 Hath it not often put you upon a courſe of ſinning for a long time together?
4 Hath it not made you prophane the Ordinances of God? uſing them
1 As means for compaſſing your baſe ends.
2 As cloaks for hiding them.
5 Hath it not made you ſometimes aſhamed of Religion, ſo that you durſt not confeſs Chriſt openly, before a Christ-deriding world?
6 Hath it not been the cauſe of your unfruitfulneſs, and unſerviceableneſs in the places where you have lived, ſo that few have been the better by you?
7 Hath it not made you unfaithful to the truſt that hath been repoſed in you; ſo that you have been a ſtaffe of broken reed to thoſe that have leaned on you?
8 Hath it not hindred you from receiving much good from thoſe, to whoſe precepts you ſhould have attended, and whoſe example you ſhould have imitated? It may bee, if you have been in any meaſure obſervant as you ſhould, you may have found ſome, if not all of theſe evils; now whatſoever you have found, call it to remembrance, and whatſoever you ſhall finde, take ſpecial notice of it, that you may never forget it.
Further, conſider how this evil of Self-ſeeking in any, or all of theſe, or any other particular evils, hath at any time appeared to your conſciences, as exceeding and out of meaſure ſinful; what ſtrange apprehenſions you have had of the vileneſs and baſeneſs of it, how loathſome it hath been unto you, how you have cenſured and condemned your ſelves for it, and reſolved againſt it. This would bee a ſpecial means to prevent your relapſing for time to come. When wee have loſt our apprehenſions of the vileneſs and baſeneſs of any ſin, wee are then ready to return unto it again upon any new temptation; and wee loſe our former apprehenſions, when wee are not careful to record them in our memories, and frequently to recollect them. Keep in minde
Secondly, what experiences you have had of the evil of ſuffering by it, in three particulars.
1 The fruſtration of your hopes. How often have you promiſed your ſelves great matters, but have been deceived? Looked for gain, but have met with loſs; for honour, but have met with ſcorn and contempt.
2 The accompliſhment of your fears. You have been afraid of poverty, of ſhame, of reproach, and to avoid it have diſſembled your profeſſion, and yeelded in a baſe ſervile compliance with men of corrupt mindes, but by this means it hath come upon you.
3 The vexation of your ſpirits. You have been allured in time of temptation with the pleaſure of ſuch ſins; but oh, what an evil and bitter thing have you found it afterwards! what an hell have you had in your conſciences!
This likewiſe would bee a ſpecial preſervative, but men forget. A woman when ſhee is in travel hath ſorrow (ſaith our Saviour) but as ſoon as ſhee is delivered of the childe, ſhee remembreth no more the anguiſh, for joy that a man is born into the world, Joh. 16.21. When men have fallen by their iniquity, oh then you ſhall hear them promiſe and vow great matters, if ever God ſpare them, they will become new men, they will never do the like again, they will bee more wary for time to come; but within a while, when the fear of the preſent danger is paſt, they will bee venturing again. It happeneth to theſe according to the Proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again, 2 Pet, 2.22. When they are ſtomach-ſick, they caſt up their ſweet morſels with loathing and abomination, but they are no ſooner well, but they lick them up again. Oh therefore keep freſh in your memories what an evil and a bitter thing you have ſometimes found it, to ſeek your ſelves in a ſinful way, that you may tremble at the thoughts of doing the like for time to come as long as you live. Keep in remembrance
2 The experiences you have had of the wayes and means whereby you have been drawn to it. Wee are not ignorant of Satans devices (ſaith the Apoſtle) 2 Cor. 2.11. but moſt times wee are forgetful of them, which is the reaſon that wee are inſnared the ſecond time. That which hath prevailed with you to ſelf-ſeeking hath been (it may bee) either,
1 Some over-weening thought of your ſelves, or
2 An over-high conceit of the things of the world, or
3 Neglect of watchfulneſs, or
4 Dallying with a temptation, or
5 Hearkning to evil counſel, or
6 Following evil example.
Well, what ever it is that you have found to have been at any time the cauſe of it, keep it in remembrance; by this means you will bee the better able to ſhun it for time to come. A man that at ſuch a place hath miſſed his way, will bee ſure to remember it againſt the next time, to avoid it. One that hath been deceived by a Cheat, will know him too well to truſt him another time. Wee ſay, well, I will know you again another time for this. So ſhould wee ſay, when wee have been deceived by this or that, to ſeek our ſelves. This is the way to have skill to overcome a temptation, by this means wee ſhall bee able to eſpy the ſnare at the firſt glance, and to perceive whither the temptation tends; for Sathan comes with fair ſhews and pretences; a man that hath not obſerved his methods and wiles, is preſently carryed away as miſtruſting nothing, but another that hath had experience, and taken notice of them, will alwayes ſuſpect the worſt, and therefore will bee the more wary and circumſpect. Bee mindefull likewiſe of
2 The experiences you have had of Self-denial.
1 The experiences you have had of the good of Self-denial.
2 Of the means whereby you have been inabled to deny your ſelves.
Firſt, what experiences you have had of the good of Self-denial.
1 Of the good that is in it.
2 Of the good that comes by it.
1 What experiences you have had of the good that is in it, as
1 Have you not found that the more you have denied your ſelves, the more you have grown in grace?
2 Have you not found that the more you have denied your ſelves, the more fruitful you have been in every good work?
3 Have you not found that Self-denial hath made the ſtricteſt duties eaſie and delightful?
4 Have you not found that the more you have denied your ſelves, the more eaſily you have born the croſs?
5 Have you not found that the more you have denied your ſelves, the more ſerviceable and uſeful you have been in your places?
6 Have you not found that the more you have denied your ſelves, the more freedome you have had from temptations, and the more ſtrength to withſtand them?
2 What experiences you have had of the good that comes by it?
1 Have you not found much peace of conſcience?
2 Much boldneſs and aſſurance in the preſence of God?
3 Abundance of joy and comfort? In a word,
4 Have you not had an hundred fold for all that you have at any time in a way of Self-denial parted with for Chriſt?
This will bee a good means to make you perſevere and hold on in the practice of this duty, when you can ſay you have learned by experience how good it is. Laban you know was a Self-ſeeking perſon, now calling to minde what good (as hee judged) hee had found in that way, hee reſolves to hold on in it ſtill, and therefore by this argument hee endeavours to perſwade Jacob to tarry with him, that hee might make the moſt of him, as hee had done before. I pray thee (ſaith hee) if I have found favour in thy eyes, tarry, for I have learned by experience, that the Lord hath bleſſed mee for thy ſake, Gen. 30.27. This was the reaſon why thoſe Idolaters were ſo peremptorily reſolved to perſiſt in their Idolatry, to burn Incenſe to the Queen of heaven, and to poure out drink-offerings to her, Jer. 44.17. They told the Prophet they would do as they had done, they and their Fathers, their Kings, and their Princes in the Cities of Judah, and in the ſtreets of Jeruſalem, for then they had plenty of victuals, and were well, and ſaw no evil. Now if ſelfiſh men make uſe of their experiences, that becauſe they have proſpered in an evil way, therefore they will go on in it, much more ſhould thoſe that have begun to deny themſelves. And therefore the Apoſtle to prevent the Apoſtacy of the Hebrews, bids them call to minde the former dayes wherein they had denied themſelves, Heb. 10.32. where though it bee not expreſly mentioned what good they had then found in the way of Self denial, but onelyonly what they expected, yet it is implied, for though the greateſt part of their recompence was reſerved till hereafter (and therefore hee doth chiefly urge them with the reſpect they had had to that, as the main thing whereby they were induced to deny themſelves as they did, which hee exhorts them ſtill to continue, as being the ſtrongeſt argument to prevail with them to perſevere) yet they had ſomething in hand, ſeeing the reward of Self-denial is not only in the world to come, but in this world alſo, as was ſhewn before. This would bee a good means alſo to prevail with us to renew our practice of this duty after any back-ſliding. Then ſhall ſhee ſay, I will go and return to my firſt husband, for then it was better with mee than now, Hoſea 2.7.
Secondly, What experiences you have had of the means, whereby you have been inabled to deny your ſelves.
You have heard of a great many helps and directions, and it may bee you have found many of them true by experience, that when a temptation hath been upon you, you were almoſt gone, your feet had well nigh ſlipt; but then when you were ready to yeeld, the ſerious conſideration of the evil of Self-ſeeking kept you back; or ſuch a command, ſuch a promiſe was ſet home upon your ſpirit; or the reſpect that you had to the recompence of reward, that was it that withheld you. Well, whatſoever it was, bee ſure not to forget it, keep it in remembrance againſt a time of need, as long as you live, and reſolve to make uſe of it again and again. Thus David did, Pſal. 73. in the beginning hee tells you of a temptation wherewith hee had been aſſaulted, and how well-nigh it had prevailed; after this hee tells you what it was that kept him, verſ. 17. Hee went into the Sanctuary of God, and adviſed with him there; now ſee the concluſion that hee makes upon this, verſ. 28. It is good for mee to draw neer to God; as if hee had ſaid, this is the beſt courſe that I can take whenſoever I am tempted, that the temptation do not prevail againſt mee; I have found it ſo now by experience, and therefore will not neglect it. A man that hath found good by ſuch a Receipt, will lock it up and make uſe of it again upon the like occaſion.