Mary Magdalenes Tears Wiped Off, Objection 13
OBJECT. XIII.
But the root of Bitterneſs, from which moſt of theſe Doubts, Scruples, and Feares do ſpring is my Aptneſs to fall into ſin; together with ſuch horrible thoughts Startling up in my Heart that I could even teare that Body to peices, and rend out the Soul that harbours, and Evaporates, ſuch black, and Stinking Eruptions.
SOLUTION.
34. IF the ſins you have formerly bin guilty of, are ſins of wilfulneſs, and the Relapſe, you may be thought to intend in your objection, be into ſuch ſins; then is your caſe ſo much the more dangerous, by how much the more certain it is, that ſuch ſins of Wilfulneſs are not reconcilable to a State of regeneracy. The determination whereof, I muſt referr to the Judgment of him, with whom you ſhall think fit to intruſt the Anatomie of your ſoul. But if they are but ſins of Humane, and Perſonall infirmity; then ſhall I offer to your conſideration, theſe two things: Firſt, that it being ſuppoſed that the ſins you mention, are only ſins of inſirmity; that Relapſes into ſuch ſins, are no new thing to every Child of God. as being Spotts ſo inſeparable from a State of mortality, that the Spirit of God hath Styled them by the mouth of Moſes, the Spots of Gods Children. Deut. 32.5. aly. that it is not to be expected, that there ſhould be an Equality, of the Number or Kindes of theſe ſins, in all the Children of God; ſome being guilty of more, ſome of fewer; ſome of more of one kinde, of ſins of infirmity; ſome of another; and much of this not only depending upon the diverſity of the meaſure of grace given; but likewiſe upon the different complexions, and former habits of thoſe Chriſtians, before their Penitence and Reformation.
But if the caſe be of other Sins, viz. of Sins of Wilfulneſs, then obſerve, that there is a very conſiderable difference (at leaſt in your apprehenſion perhaps) betwixt the aptneſs, or facility, of falling into Sin, and actuall relapſing thereinto. You finde (perchance) the temptations are frequent and ſtrong upon you, and your enemie very indefatigable and reſtleſs; and you fear that the battery in the end, will be too forcible for the fortification to hold out againſt it is that theſe aſſaults of Fleſh and bloud, will not only Storm, but take, or elſe ſurpriſe your Reſolution: but all this while, this is but anxiety: and if thoſe temptations do get ground of you; draw your will to ſome ſhort parly with them, and thereby increaſe your fear of Yealding to this enemy; yet is there no relapſe: and if there were, yet ought you to have conifort, againſt temptations to diſpair of finall victorie: becauſe theſe utmoſt endeavors of yours together with your grief conceived for but inclining to theſe temptations, will render your condition commiſerable in the eyes of your tender, and compaſſionate Father: who will in the end, make his strength to be ſeen in your weakneſs; giving you good reaſon to aſcribe, the cauſe as well as the honor of the victorie, to him alone, by whom you ſhall be able to do all things. Phil. 4.13.
But to prevent your danger by temptation you ſhall do well, to open your condition freely to ſome Grave, Pious, Diſcreet, and Learned Divine; one well ſeen in the Studie of mens Conſciences, (a great rarity I muſt tell you amongſt Proteſtants,) to have often conference with him, to confeſſe freely to him, to receive directions from him, for preventing your guilt and trouble, to communicate frequently: the bleſſed Sacrament having a ſpeciall deſignation, for thoſe in your condition, refreſhing of wearied Souls being the great intendment of that Commemoration of Chriſts death: All temptations under ſuch hard uſage as is now preſcribed, will wither away, and dye in their prime; which by our private endeavours of eradication, do moſt times exceed our fears, as well as our expectations, in the growth of them.
As for the other part of your objection, wherein you complain of the depravity and corruption of your nature, belcht out many times in Prodigious thoughts of your heart, (it may be againſt the goodneſs, or juſtice, or perhaps againſt the very eſſence of the Divine Majestie,) the more holy you deſire to be, the more grievous will ſuch thoughts (as you call them) be unto you. Therefore be pleaſed to conſider, 1. that in my judgment, many of theſe are not your own thoughts, or motions of corrupt nature in you, as you conceive; but really injections of Satan, ſtrongly ſavouring of malice againſt God, and the merciful work of our Redemption. This Itake to be it, which is called the Divells putting of ſomewhat into mens hearts, as he did the treaſon of Judas, the prevarication of Ananias and Sapphira, Davids numbring the People, and St. Peters effeminate ſuggeſtions to our Saviour, &c. Theſe ſometimes are puniſhments for ſin either in our ſelves or others, ſometimes only trialls from God, for the manifeſtation of the power of his Grace, in mens ſouls: and I ſuppoſe they are not duly ſtyld our thoughts, till they are admitted, and treated by us, they then become our finfull thoughts, aſſoon as we incline to entertain and in…r ace them. And 2ly. I doubt not, but ſuch as theſe may be injected into holy men, as in the caſe of David, and Peter, as we have inſtanced before. Yea and not ſo only but they may be hardned to, and imbraced, and conſequently, their ſtate indangered till renewed again by faith and Repentance.
Wherefore if you reject, and not own them; grieving for them as puniſhments for ſin, praying againſt them, and perfectly hating them, with what e're is the Author of them, having an holy jealouſie over your own nature, labouring to ſhut the Den of your heart againſt ſuch intruders, and to give the poſſeſſion of the conſiderable fort to better friends to your ſalvation; you are not hereby endangered by preſent guilt, or engaged under juſt fear of Apostacy; your ſtate in this (as in all other things) being not without example in the deareſt Children of God.