Several Works, Floating text 2
Jan. 31. 1653.
The Queſtion, Whether I ſhould anſwer the peoples Call to be Teacher?
For the Affirmative
1. The Paſtors weakneſs in body, and the peoples need thereby.
2. The Church alſo increaſing.
3. Their unanimous conſent in choice of me, after ſolemn ſeeking of God for it.
For the Negative
1. My being a man of ſuch uncircumciſed heart, and ſuch polluted lips, as the Lord knoweth, &c.
2. My being ſo weak and not able to convince Gain-ſayers, a very child in managing controverſies, if they ariſe in the Church, eſpecially in ſuch a Congregation.
3. My ignorance what a Teacher is.
4. My being but a Novice, as the Apoſtle ſaith, 1 Tim. 3. 6.
But doubts,
1. Whether in theſe former Objections I do not mind more the praiſe of men then the praiſe of God, becauſe of my weakneſs in parts.
2. Whether it be not the burthen without any outward reward, which ſticks ſo hard? If there were a great outward reward, how would it then prevail with me?
3. Whether it be love to Chriſt, to indent as I may ſay, and thus much I will do, and no further?
4. Whether God may not call firſt, and fit afterwards. Yet it was ſo with David, ſo with Saul at firſt, and ſo Solomon had his Spirit of wiſdom given him afterwards; and have not we the like priviledge to ask and have, as he had? Mat. 7. 7. Paul was ready to go or do what God would have him, before he had received the Spirit, Act. 9.
5. Whether God may not call, and I not ſee it? as Samuel, 1 Sam. 2.
6. Whether I may not be willing enough, and yet ſeem thus unwilling, which is great hypocriſie?
7. Whether I could be willing to have another ſet up rather then my ſelf, and therefore as unworthy as I judge my ſelf, yet I may judge my ſelf better then he?
8. Whether the evil frame of heart hath not been upon me ſince my denyal of it? and the thoughts of yielding, are they not pleaſing, and when any thing produced to the contrary of my mind, doth it make me ſmile and lighten my heart? Whether out of pride, and delight to hear others good opinion of me, and deſire towards me; or whether out of a ſecret hankering after the thing, notwithſtanding my oppoſing it; or whether from the Lord, is doubtful?
9. Whether the people are not better Judges of my gifts then my ſelf?
10. Whether all this diſcouragement be not through unbelief of the Promiſes, as in Moſes? Exod. 6. 12, 30.
11. Whether this be not hypocriſie: Before being called, forward enough, and when called, how backward, even as Moſes? Exod. 2. 13. 4. 10. 6. 12, 30.
12. Time was, when I entred upon this work with a very wicked heart, much more wicked, bleſſed be his name for his preſent grace, and yet not humbled for this to this very day as I ought I doubt.
13. Yet notwithſtanding he hath manifeſted himſelf to give a better heart in ſome meaſure then before; as I hope, and why not now if I undertake more, may he not do more as well as before? O he did not give me up as ſome others, who in the like condition have undertaken this work!
14. I have been (as it were) checkt, What, wilt thou not venture thy ſelf upon Jeſus Chriſt? and then the Lord made me willing to do it.
15. To get ſtrength againſt corruption▪ is not likely to be done by turning the back upon any work of his.
16. And is it not better I ſhould periſh by corruption or temptation in doing the work of Chriſt then not? But can any periſh that in truth give up themſelves to his work?
Wedneſday, Feb. 22. meditating upon that of Moſes, that he ſaid, Send by whom thou wilt ſend, God was angry. Such Ex…. 4 13, 14.thoughts I had, God might teſtifie againſt me, by leavi…g me to blaſphemous, horrid thoughts, and an untoward frame of Spirit. When he had anſwered him that Objection touching his want of eloquence. Now ſaith he, when he was angry with him, Is not Aaron thy Brother? he is a man of eloquence, and he will be glad to meet thee.
So in this God hath joyned ſuch an one as was able through grace to do that, I doubted my ſufficiency moſt in; that is to ſay, the managing controverſies. And then telling him they are dead that ſought thy life, which was the Core. So, who knoweth but this fear of oppoſition may be taken away▪
So upon 1 Cor. 9. 17. If I do it will…ngly, I have a reward, &c.
And upon 1 Pet. 5. 2. Taking the overlight, not of conſtraint or neceſſity, but a willing mind.
And John 21. Loveſt thou me? feed my ſheep; did ſomewhat bow my ſpirit to a reſolution to cloſe with it.
Having (though with ſome reluctancy at firſt) taken upon him the overſight of the Flock of God, he led them forth into green paſtures, by the ſides of the pleaſant waters, and fed them, not with husks (as many do) but wholſom food: Careful he was to preſerve the poor Lambs of Chriſt from infection, & depredation.
If any ſheep …as ſtragling from the fold, he would reduce, and bring it back again; if weak, he would take it up in his boſom, and carry it upon his ſhoulders. His bowels were rowled within him, and did exceedingly melt and yern towards thoſe for whom Chriſt ſhed his blood.
The Lord having fixt him in the Firmament of the Church, he proved not a wandring ſtar; his regular motion kept others within compaſs. He was not a cloud without water, as appeared by the flouriſhing growth of many Chriſtians, who ſate under the honey drops that diſtilled from his lips.
How did he thirſt after the ſalvation of ſouls, and how anxiouſly inquiſitive after the ſucceſs of his labours? It did not ſatisfie him that the ſeed was ſown, fruits muſt appear, or elſe his heart is mightily troubled within him, and little comfort taken in the comforts of this life.
It was an heart-breaking unto him, that the hearts of ſinners were no more boken; their dry eys would cauſe his to overflow with briny tears.
The Lord did not give up his Miniſtry to the curſe of a miſcarrying womb and dry breaſts. He was able to ſay, Lo here am Heb. 2. 13.I, and the children whom thou haſt given me.
Surely in labours he was more abundant then many others, 2 Car. 11. 23.as his Cloſet, Pulpit, beſides many other places can well teſtifie. Recreations he declined, ſo loath was he to be accounted a loyterer, or idler in Gods Vineyard. Having put his hand unto Luke 9. 61.the Plough, he did not at any time ſtand ſtill he looked not back he ſate not down in the cool and gentle ſhade, but was always in an erect poſture, and continually preſſing forward, contented to bear the burthen, and the heat of the day, as knowing that the time of refreſhing was ſhortly to come from the preſence of the Lord.
So eagerly bent was he upon his work, that when ſeriouſly ſetled to it, his neceſſary and appointed food was frequently neglected, wife, children, and other Relations not taken notice of. If any refreſhing was urged, he would ſay, This is not the way to get my Fathers work done.
The Subjects that he pitcht on were uſually adapted and accommodated to the temper of the Times and his own condition, as Preaching both to others and himſelf. It did not ſatisfie him that▪ Truth was Preached, unleſs it were ſeaſonable and ſuitable. The Sermons that he Prcached, he throughly digeſted before hand, and made them his own by a deep impreſſion of them, not only on his memory, but affections; ſo that he ſtill ſpake from the heart to the heart. They, who beheld him in a Pulpir, with a ſpiritually diſcerning eye, thought the place to be (as it were) filled with ſmoak, and ſignal expreſſions of the Divine Preſence.
The growing and prevailing Corruptions of the Times he ſtrongly oppoſed. Errors, though countenanced by great Ones, were not baſely baulked, and paſſed by in ſilence. The miſcarriages of thoſe in high Places were ſure to meet with a ſevere and ſharp rebuke.
He often bewailed, and greatly mourned for the evil, and dangerous conſequence of corrupt men called to the Miniſtry, who daub with untempered morter, and ſlightly heal the wound that is made with a faithful hand.
When ſecure and ſleepy ſinners are at any time awakned by a ſtirring and a ſoul-ſearching Miniſtry, and complain of the terrors of the Lord that ſet themſelves in battle array againſt them; theſe miſerably-mercifull men, with an oyly tongue labour to lick them whole again, and skin over the ſore; they make it their deſign to bind up the broken bone, without putting their patients to any pain, perſwading them that Miniſters nowadays are too ſevere, ſour, ſtrict, ſtreight lac…, and fright ſilly folk (who do not underſtand themſelves) with Bug bears, and Sear▪ crows. For a Waſpiſh and inraged conſcience thy provide a ſweet and ſtupifying ſop, and ſo lay it to ſleep again. Thus are men flattered into a good opinion of themſelves, when in the mean time they are in the gall of bitterneſs, and in the bond of iniquity Wo and alas… that ever men ſhould be thus contentedly cheated of their ſouls, and prefer their preſent eaſe before their future ſafety!
He, who was choſen a Ruler in the Church, was ſo in his Family, 1 Tim. 3. 5.which he ruled well, and diligently inſtructed in the knowledge of Chriſt. He prayed twice a day with his Family, and expounded ſome portion of Scripture, and in theſe exerciſes uſually expended an hour and an half at a time. *They are great enemies to their own comfort, who live in the neglect of this Ordinance; and whilſt the Congregation is trumpeting out Gods praiſes, ſit like mopiſh mutes, with a diſcontented eye and cloudy countenance; as if the muſick which they hear were howling rather than Singing.In Singing he was much tranſported, and even lifted up, and delighted much in Pſal. 63. and 103.
He was with Paul, in faſtings often, and that, not only when publickly required, for he was herein often ingaged upon the account of his own perſonall concernments, and condition.
In preparations for Faſts, as well as in the celebration of them, he was very ſolemn and ſevere, as will afterwards more plentifully appear. Food on ſuch days he taſted not till late at night; if any offered, it was entertained with diſlike in his very looks. In Prayer, at all times, eſpecially then, he was copious, inlarged, ſpiritual, powerfull, to the melting of the Congregation into tears and ſighs.
His love to the Ordinances was very great, and his heart did even break with longing after that of the Supper; and in preparation for it, he would unbowel himſelf before the Lord, and be very ſtrict in the duty of ſelf examination. †He was far from the opinion and temper of thoſe whom the very thoughts, much more debates of having their poor Babes Baptized, do ſtrangely tranſport with rage and an high indignation …inſt any that ſhall attempt it.When his children were Baptized, and had the Seals of the Covenant impreſt upon them, he would wonderfully rejoyce, thereby declaring a ſweet refreſhing and full ſatisfaction.
With the Pſalmiſt, he had rather be a door keeper in the Houſe of the Lord, then dwell in the Tents of wickedneſs. One day in Gods Court was better then a thouſand elſewhere.
He would cheerfully chirp, and ſweetly warble out his highſtrained Notes, when (with the Swallow) neer Gods Alta; but would mourn like a Dove, and chatter like a Crane, when the waters of the Sanctuary were dammed up, and did not freely flow forth; he would droop and hang the wing, though under the broad ſpreading guords of carnal contentments.
He abridged and cut himſelf ſhort in the uſe of the warrantable contentments of the preſent life. He was unwilling to launch out too far, leſt he ſhould loſe the ſight of his Harbor, and a ſtorm ariſe ere he got in again.
He was loath to ſwallow down large morſels for fear of an enſuing ſurſeit, and diſmal dolefull diſtempers that might thence ariſe. He knew that the faireſt full-blown Roſe was not without its grieving thorn, and that a ſcratching Bryer lay lurking under the blooming leaves, and therefore he paſſed over the moſt flowrie and fragrant walk with an haſty and trembling foot.
He was none of thoſe whom the Apoſtle ſpeaks of, that mind earthly things. His work was his wages. His deſign was not to Phil. 3. 19.ſpread his roots in the earth, and to ſecure a carnal intereſt by corrupt compliances. His mouth was not gagg'd with a wedge of gold, or his lips ſown up with the ſilken thread of preferment.
Being poſleſſed of the pearl of price he thought himſelf rich enough; and having food and raiment he was therewithall content. If any thing conſiderable were providentially caſt in, it 3 Tim. 6. 8.was not greedily gaped after, and extorted by much preſſing importunity and incroaching crouching attendances.
The things which he poſſeſſed, he was ignorant of, as not willing to intermiddle at all in the matters of the world, that ſo he might in a more ſerene way and maner have his converſation Phil. 3. …o.in heaven, from whence he expected the Saviour.
Chriſt was ſo fair and full in his eye, that in compariſon of him, all other enjoyments, though ſwelling to a mountanous bulk, were but motes and molehills. He admired not the beauty of any Roſe, ſave that of Sharon. The flower-planted without hand was lovely in his ſight, and ſweet unto his ſmell.
He taſted ſuch ſurpaſſing and heart-raviſhing ſweetneſs in communion with Chriſt, that the edge of his appetite to the things of the world was exceedingly blunted and rebated.
The love of God being ſhed abroad in his heart by the Holy Ghoſt, he valued not the favor or the frowns of the children of men. Whilſt others had their beilies cleaving unto the duſt, he almoſt loathed to touch it with his feet; ſo far was he from panting after the duſt of the earth.
He preferred grave contentments, and ſolid delights before the fleeting and tranſcient titillations of the exterior ſenſes. How much better are the wholſome ſeverities of Religion, then the fulſome ſatisfactions of the fleſh?
His heart and hands were mightily inlarged in a way of charitable contribution, even to conſiderable ſumms, when the neceſſitous condition of others called for ſpeedy ſuccours and ſupplies. 2 Cor. 9. 2.What he gave was not grudgingly, but of a ready mind. He did not ſay, Come again, and to morrow I will give thee, Prov 3. 28.when he had …t by him: He gave liberally, and ſowed bountifully. He caſt h…s bread upon the waters, knowing that after Eccleſ. 11. 1.many dayes he ſhould find it.
His meekneſs was remarkable, as knowing it was his glory to paſs by an offence; the reproaches of rayling Rabſhak…hs he Prov. 19. 11.thought not worth the taking notice of. He was not eaſily ſtirred up to anger, but had a ſweet calm in his ſpirit, though ſometimes blown upon by the ſurly winds of unhandſome provocations. Paſſionate expreſſions fell not from him though naturally of an harſh and haſty temper. He would not ſay I will do unto the man as he hath done to me, but choſe rather to Prev. 24. 29. Rom. 12. 20, 21.do good for evil, and melt (rather then exaſperate) his adverſaries, by heaping up coals of kindneſs upon their heads.
Humility is not without cauſe ſtiled the grace of graces, as being that which adds a luſtre to them, and makes them the more orient, and reſplendent. He who is low in his own eſteem, is high in the eſteem of God and good men. Pride (the prevailing ſin of the Profeſſors of this age) is that which doth darken, ſulley, cloud our otherways laudable endowments; it is that worm which makes the greeneſt gourd to wither, and the faireſt flower to loſe its native beauty. Self-depreſſions (provided they be ſincere) are always attended with exaltations and plentifull 1 Pet. 5. 6.ſupplies from the fountain of all grace and goodneſs.
Humility was Maſter Murcot▪ ſh…ning grace, which though low in its ſelf, it was taller then the reſt by the head and ſhoulders. So…e ex…reſſions of it are theſe that follow.
1. His mean thoughts of himſelf, though his gifts, graces, performances rendred him conſiderable, yet the eſteem which he had of himſelf was very ſmall. His face did ſhine as that of Moſes, to the dazling of others eys, yet he ſaw it not himſelf, nor could endure to be told by others that it did ſo, but would cry out of a ſnare.
2. His high thoughts of others gifts and graces, though poſſibly coming ſhort of his. The proud man looks upon others enjoyments and attainments with a cloudy and diſcontented eye▪ which in Maſter Murcot drew forth commendations and ſerious thankſgivings unto God.
3. His condeſcending to men of low degree, whoſe company and converſe he …i…dained not, eſpecially if godly. He delighted not to be buſily buzzing about the Chambers and Tables of great men, but could ſweetly ſolace himſelf with the ſociety of the meaneſt Chriſtian.
4. His temptations to pride and puffings up, were not a few, having the high and boſome reſpects of great and ſmall; the applauſes, commendations, gratulations of the generality of the people, and great ſucceſs of his labours. When others would be lifting him up, he ſtill croucht. and lay low. He was none of thoſe whom a freer acceſs, and a more open boſome, a kinder glance, and a more favourable nod from great men, ſwell with ſelf-conceit and p…ff up into a lofty diſdain of their poor brethren, ſo that they muſt not be approacht without much complementall obſervance, and cringing incurvations.
5. His garb had nothing of vanity and gaudry in it. The vile raiment was more pleaſing to him then ſilks, ſattins and pluſhcoats.
He was none of thoſe Court-preachers, whoſe extraordinary ſpruceneſs, gay apparrel, and bridling deportment are ſhrewdly ſuſpected to be nought elſe but the frothy ebullitions of a proud and vain ſpirit.
He was no Borderer upon Religion, dwelling only in the outfields, and confines of godlineſs, but was admitted into its interiour, and ſecret receſſes. Religion indeed was his buſineſs, which he proſecuted with all his might. The world had but a ſmall portion of his time and a very ſlender intereſt in his affections. He was grown as dexterous in the exerciſe of grace, and in the ſucceſsful promoting, and carrying on of the holy life, as others are in growing rich, greatning themſelves, and providing for Poſterity. He was afraid of digging in the earth, leſt a cold damp ſhould ariſe to dimm his light, and ſuffocate his celeſtial comforts. His conſtant commerce was with heaven, and ſurely that trade which he drove was for rich commodities.
He adventured his all, and was bleſſed with daily returns, to his unſpeakable advantage
Though he were a ſtranger in this earth▪ yet he was not ſo to his Saviour, or himſelf, which will plainly appear, if you conſider what his daily practiſe was for ſome years before his death.
He kept an exact Diary of his own life, in which he was very curious and methodical; in one Column, or ſide of the page he would ſet down the Good, in the other, oppoſite againſt it, the Evil. His intention doubtleſs was, never to make, either the whole or any part of it publick, yet judicious Chriſtians apprehending that ſeveral Paſſages in it may tend very much to the edification of others, ſome choice flowers growing here and there in this ſpacious and odoriferous garden, I have pickt up, made into a Poſie, and do here expoſe them to publick view.
One day inſtanced in as a taſte.
| Good. | Evil. |
| In morning Cloſet duty not altogether without his preſence; ſtudied my Sermons, not altogether without him, bleſſed be his Name. | My heart but in a liſtleſs frame this day. |
| In evening Cloſet duty, by way of preparation very ſweet meltings, and outgoings of my ſoul after the Lord, bleſſed be the Lord. | Yet ſome diſtractions. |
1. He was very obſervant, not only of the Out-breaches of ſin, but of its internal ſtirrings and more ſpiritual actings; The very thoughts of his heart, if irregular, he carefully recorded, and bitterly bewaited.
Inſtance,
O my proud thoughts riſing and bubbling up this day!
2. He ſet a watch, not only before the door of his lips, but before the door of his heart alſo, with which he took unwearied pains, being indeed the Fort-Royal, either of Chriſt, or Satan.
Inſtance,
1. This day I could not get my heart in tune, though I took an hour, or two hours pains with it.
2. Endeavouring ſome hours with my heart, and yet alas, it remained very untoward, I could do little or nothing.
3. Through mercy I deſire a clean heart.
3. Time he accounted precious, and improved it to ſpiritual purpoſes, and the beſt advantage.
Inſtance,
This day up early—or,
This day lay long ſluggiſhly.
Read 4. Hebrew Chapters with notes profitably.
Read 60. pages in Dr. Preſton.
Studied my Sermons.
4. The ſight of ſin did exceedingly ſadden.
Inſtance,
1. In examination of my ſelf, March 9. 1652. Through mercy I have a ſight and ſenſe of my ſins, and am affected, and pained under the burthen of my daily wants.
2. In cloſet-duty much humbled for the ſins of the day before, and melted.
3. Many wandrings, to the burthen of my ſoul.
5. The ſinful adherences of the beſt duties he recorded with regret, and ſadneſs of ſpirit.
Inſtance,
1. Not altogether without him in duty, though but dry, and ſome wandrings of heart in duty. At Supper-Ordinance, ah my wandrings, In prayer poor, and in preaching!
2. In morning cloſet-duty I could do nothing, my heart very untoward—full of vain thoughts in the evening meditation, which put me out of order.
3. In afternoon prayer before Sermon but little affected, and though my ſelf had little enlargement this day, yet I perceive it was profitable to others: God would hide pride from mine eyes.
4. Diſtracted, and formal in ſinging.
6. Powerful aſſiſtance in holy ſervices he gratefully recorded.
Inſtance,
In Baptizing of my ſon Job, my heart much drawn out in prayer.
7. Yea, the leaſt income and aſſiſtance was not paſſed by in ſilence.
Inſtance,
Not altogether left in evening cloſet-duty.
8. The ebbings and flowings of the Spirit he diſtinctly conſidered.
Inſtance,
In the morning cloſet-duty, not ſo much of his preſence as in the evening cloſet-duty, though indeed much melted, after ſome pains taken with my heart.
9. Diabolical injections he deteſted with higheſt indignation, againſt which, he was a reverberating wall of braſs.
Inſtance,
This day peſtred with blaſphemous and horrid thoughts, to my loathing—to my wounding—O horrid—O abominable!
10. To the diſtreſſed he gave friendly viſits.
Inſtance,
Spent this day in viſiting a condemned man, and divers widows in ſickneſs and ſorrow.
11. He made God the ultimate end of all his actings.
Inſtance,
Though much mixtures of ſelf, yet I deſire to make God the great end of all my duties, preachings, prayers.
12. He was wholly at the diſpoſe of God, contented to follow the conduct of Providence, even through thorny waies.
Inſtance,
I hope I am made willing to come to him through any condition, any tribulation, taking up the Croſs.
13. When any ſpiritual diſtemper was upon him, he would preſently inquire into its cauſes.
Inſtance,
What may be the cauſe of my ſtreightneſs and deadneſs now?
1. Haply, not being ſo thankful for enlargements, when I had them.
2. Haply, becauſe I cannot bear ſuch enlargements, I have not humility enough.
3. Haply, becauſe I ſatisfie my ſelf with them, and not follow that which I preach.
4. Haply, a ſpirit of envy againſt others.
5. Haply, I more affect to have the hearts of the people, ther the heart of God.
6. Becauſe I want love to poor ſouls, and may mind more the ſetting forth my ſelf, then edification.
7. Haply, becauſe I mind more enlargements, and gifts, then grace.
8. Haply, becauſe I do not take the fitteſt time, when my heart is in the beſt frame for ſtudy.
9. Haply, becauſe more troubled at the want of enlargement, then at all the ſins which have cauſed it.
10. Haply, for want of ſearching Scriptures, diligently, conſtantly.
14. Succeſs of labours; O how ſweet and ſolacing!
Inſtance,
The 14. day; His preſence with me in preaching and prayer very much, bleſſed be his name: Several touched by that Sermon, as the Nurſe and my maid, and Mrs. Taylor, and my ſiſter Haſtings her maid, who came to me afterwards. A ſweet pledge of his preſence; and ſince I hear divers others were ſtirred through much mercy at that Sermon.
15. He was much inlarged in a way of thankfulneſs for mercies received.
Inſtance,
1. In my journey from Cork to Dublin; neer the paſſage to the Long Iland, not looking to my horſe, he was ready to ſtep down a deep precipice, near the Sea. Watchleſs over my thoughts that day.
2. Afterwards at Clemell I had like to have run up into an infected houſe, but the Lord prevented me. I had much ſweetneſs in Communion with God before.
3. Delivered from fire in my ſtudy, which lay ſmothering under the harth three daies undiſcovered.
4. The maid Eliſabeth ſet fire on the bed with the child in it, which if the Lord had not prevented, all had been conſumed.Prevented by his coming out of his cloſet at 11 clock in the night.
5. My wife and children wonderfully preſerved, two Bricks falling down the chimney, they ſitting by the fires ſide.
16. The Lord God he made the object of his ardent deſire and delight.
Inſtance,
Before the Supper, upon examination, I could find none in heaven or earth, I did deſire in compariſon of God.
17. He ſought not happineſs in himſelf, or any other creature.
Inſtance,
Through mercy I renounce my own merit, and all things in the world as an happineſs, and therefore reſolve to ſeek the chief Good in Gods favour in Jeſus Chriſt.
18. Chriſt was high in his eſteem, and the dearly beloved of his ſoul.
Inſtance,
Through mercy I deſire to prize the Lord Jeſus above all, that he may be precious to me, 1 Pet. 2. 6.
19. In preparation for Faſt-daies, he would unboſom and unbowel himſelf before the Lord: He did not only skim off the uppermoſt froth of his heart; but would ſearch every nook and crany, and fetch up mud from the very bottom.
Inſtance,
1. O how proud, and apt to be lifted up upon all occaſions!
2. How envious againſt others!
3. Of late I have been very dead and formal in all ſervices, publike and private.
4. Very backward to any ſervice of God, not conſtrained by love.
5. Very trifling away my precious time.
6. Very ſluggiſh, *Awake O ſleepy ſl…ggard, and let not the riſing Sun find thee fl…t on thy back, and when the great eye of the world is up and open, let not thine be ſhut, me thinks its bright and penetrating raies ſhould ſcatter that cloud of ſleep and ſecurity that hangs upon thy dull and depreſſed brow. Knoweſt thou not O drowſie drone, that thou haſt a great deal of work to do, and but a little time to diſpatch it in?not up early about things of ſo great weight.
7. But negligent in preparation to holy duties, publike and private.
8. How empty and vain in diſcourſes, and unprofitable?
9. How diſtempered in hearing publikely, and in conferences with the Church?
10. Vile thoughts, even in the time of reading, and meditation, which are deep hypocriſie.
11. Yet back-ſlidden, even ſince the laſt Lords Supper.
12. Yet little pure love to the Saints, as Saints.
13. Yet not a ſenſible heart of the diſhonour of Chriſt in theſe times.
14. Yet not a tender, nor believing heart in holding out the word of reconciliation.
20. In preparation for the Supper-Ordinance he would bring himſelſ unto the Teſt, and to ſay the truth, was very clear in the diſcovering, and making out of his own condition, being well acquainted with the way of Gods dealing with the ſoul, and with the way of the ſouls cloſing with Chriſt.
Inſtance, April 3. 1653. upon ſearch I find,
1. My ſelf an undone creature.
2. That the Lord Jeſus ſufficiently ſatisfied as Mediator, the Law for ſin.
3. That he is freely offered in the Goſpel.
4. So far as I know my own heart, I do through mercy heartily conſent, that he only ſhall be my Saviour; not my works or duties, which I do only in obedience to him.
5. If I know my heart, I would be ruled by his word & Spirit. Behold in a few words the ſumme and ſubſtance of the Goſpel.
21. The Lord bleſſed his enquiries with gracious returns, when he ſet himſelf ſeriouſly to clear up his intereſt in him.
Inſtance, October 30. 1652.
As I was queſtioning and ſearching whether I were a child of God or no, me thought this was ſuddenly ſpoken in me, or to me: If I be not thy Father, what am I then to thee? Am I an enemy to thee? which did much affect and melt my heart through much mercy.
In preparation for the Lords Supper, Jan. 1. 1652. as I was upon the ſame Queſtion within my ſelf, whether I was a child of God yea or no, me thought this was ſuggeſted within me: If I be not thy …ather, why doſt thou follow me ſo hard, and breath after me? which alſo did much affect my heart at that time.
22. He got ground on his corruptions, and his grave-cloaths fell off apace, while he was yet alive. Several daies I find good recorded, and no evil.
Inſtance,
| Good. | Evil. |
| In morning read a long Hebrew Chapter—in cloſet-duty, not altogether without his preſence, ſtudied for my Sermons, and the afternoon ſpent much, what in preparation of my ſelf for the Lords Supper, and not altogether without his preſence, for bleſſed be his name, he humbled me, and melted me in the …ight of my own vileneſs. |
About 7. weeks before his tranſlation, returning from London, he found his Family in a languiſhing condition by reaſon of a feavouriſh diſtemper which had crept in among them. It being the Lords wont to ſend ſome forerunning waves to daſh againſt, and wet us, before he ſend that mountainous one, with which he will overwhelm us. His youngeſt child ſave one, departs this life on Friday night, being the 11. of Nov. 1654.
How often are the little Lambs taken from the ſides of their dams, from whom they received life, and carried to the place, where they met with their deaths? An hopeful branch muſt be lopt off, before the Root it ſelf dry up, and wither.
Saturday morning that Chapter came to be read in courſe, which contains Davids Faſting and mourning for his child whilſt it lived, &c. Comparing his own condition with that of David, he ſaid, Davids mourning went before, but mine muſt follow after. The duties of the Family being over, he retires again into his ſtudy, keeps the day as a Faſt, and being awakened by this affliction, is put upon ſerious ſelf-reflexions, and ſearching endeavours to find out the cauſe of this ſmart-ſtroke of Gods hand, an account whereof, taken out of his Diary, you have as follows.
God taking away my little babe Job, November 11. 1654. Searching my waies, &c.
1. Not returning according to his multiplyed mercies to us, not thankful enough, the heart not endeared to him.
2. More lax in watching over my thoughts.
3. A fooliſh ſtupidity, and ſecurity before this blow from the the Lord—far from waiting for changes—Jonah-like, faſt aſleep.
4. An unnatural heart to him, and the reſt,—inſenſible of his pains.
5. Grown very ſlight in the Lords ſervice; though wofully diſtracted, and dead in every duty almoſt, yet not ſenſible of it, nor humbled under it—had loſt of that ſpiritualneſs, and heavenly-mindedneſs, once I had through grace.
6. Partial affection to the ſons, more then to the daughters, therefore God took this away, and ſmote the other.
His wife would have had the Funerals deferr'd till Munday, but he would not give way, ſaying I have other work to do tomorrow.
At even the people being come together, he accompanied the Corps unto the grave, into which he was obſerved to look very wiſhly, as if he had been curioſly looking for a reſting, place for himſelf, ſhortly to lye down in, and had thus beſpoken his dead 2 Sam. 2. 23.child, I ſhall ſhortly come to thee, but thou ſhalt not return to me.
Coming home, he was very raiſed and chearful, and comforted his wife, with this ſaying among many others; Come love, he has but got the ſtart of us.
It being my work to track him, and tread upon the print of his heels. I muſt follow him, even through the valley of the ſhadow of death, which was not ſo frightful to him in its approach, as to me uncomfortable in its deſcription.
The time of his departure is at hand, and no wonder; He was ripe betimes, and therefore gathered, and taken into Gods Granary. He had done his work, and muſt therefore go to receive his wages; and this I may be bold to ſay, that he did God more ſervice in a little time, then many others, whoſe line of life was twice as long as his. He cannot be far off from his center, becauſe of the ſwiftneſs of his motion.
He was alwaies much upon the wing, but towards his latter end, he was wont to ſoar very high, and took many a turn in Paradiſe every day, and would be often hovering about the Caſements of the Star-chamber; which having delightfully peept and pryed into, he came down again, though not without much regret and grief, yet ſolacing himſelf with this conſideration, that he ſhould ſhortly meet the Lord in the air, and then be ever with the Lord.
During the time of his pilgrimage, and abode in the Lords Vineyard, he ſerved his God, and his Generation with all his might. He ran faſter then others, and was therefore ſooner out of breath. He ſcrewed up the peggs ſo high, that the ſtrings of his ſeveral faculties crack, and can hold out no longer. He did with ſo much vehemency and contention of ſpirit, continually ſtir up himſelf to take hold on God, and followed ſo hard after him, that he ſunk under the burden of his own endeavours.
His late journey to London heated his blood, and diſpoſed his already-waſting body to a dangerous diſtemper, which diſcovered Nov. 19. 1654.it ſelf on the Lords day in his forenoons Sermon, which (after his return from the Congregation) he laboured to conceal from his wife, by endeavouring to eat, though it were much againſt his ſtomach: ſhe perceiving ſome alteration in his countenance, and carriage, ſaid, You are not well, pray preach not again; to whom he replyed, away, away, hinder me not: Whereupon he retired to his ſtudy, and adventured to preach again in the afternoon, though with ſome difficulty, and apparent ſymptoms of ſickneſs in his very viſage. It was upon the ſpirits of ſome, that this was the laſt time they ſhould ever hear him: One ſeeing and obſerving him in his return, ſaid, Thou art almoſt in heaven, I ſhall never ſee thee more.
The Text which he preached on that day, is conſiderable—Pſal. 4. 6. There be many that ſay, Who will ſhew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. The former part, viz. the enquiry, Who will ſhew us any good? he finiſhed in the fore-noon, and urged ſeveral arguments, why men ought to ſit looſe from all things that are here below: His expreſſions argued in him affections diſingaged from matters dreggy and terrene: One foot is off the earth already, the other will be ſo too ſhortly: He takes his flight from earth to heaven, and in the afternoon made entrance on the latter part of the verſe: Lord lift thou up; &c. a ſuitable ſubject for him to ſpeak to, who was now about to enter into the gloomy horrours of the grave. Thoſe bright, refulgent beams of heavenly light, are never more ſeaſonable, then when we are upon the borders of the Land of darkneſs. Ten glorious fruits and effects of the lifting up of the light of Gods countenance he held forth; the heads of which, becauſe of the ſpirituality of the matter, and being the words of a dying man, and experienced▪ Chriſtian, you will find in the *1. It produceth a calm, a quietneſs in the ſoul againſt all diſtracting fears O he is come, ſaith a Martyr, and death was nothing to him▪ 2. It is the moſt real good in heaven or in earth, other goods are vain and empty, this is …ound and ſolid, this is bread indeed, and no deluſion, as the world and Satan would perſwade. 3. It brings-with it all manner of good, which way ſoever God turns,, all the creatures that depend on him, turn. 4. It ſeaſons proſperity to us, it mel…eth out the ſweet▪ and giveth us the marrow and fatne…s of it. 5. It will ſeaſon the bittereſt cup of affliction; the valley of the ſhadow of death will be▪ but as another place, Hab▪ 3. 6. It will work effectually deliverance out of affliction. 7. It will make us more then Conquerors, Triumphers, Rom. 8. 31. 8. It is of a teaching nature, Pſal. 119. 125. When the Lord ſhines on our Readings, Studyings, Meditating▪ then we are taught indeed. 9. It melteth the heart kindly in a mans bowels, though as hard as an Adamant, as the lightning melteth the ſword, the ſcabbard being untouched. There is no ſtanding before the power of Gods anger, or his love, Zech. 12 10. 10. By this the …oul groweth up from ſtrength to ſtrength; terror and ſorrow doth weaken the ſoul exceedingly. The joy of the Lord is his peoples ſtrength. Where will men ripen, if not in the Sunſhine?Margin.
Judicious Chriſt…ans plainly perceived him at that time to be wonderfully raiſed, and his ſpreading ſailes to be ſweetly ſwelled with the powerful breathings of the Spirit, for he ſpake more like one neer the Throne, and in the company of Angels, then one in a Pulpit, and ſurrounded with mortalls.
At even, the people (according to their accuſtomed manner) came crouding and thronging to Repetition. His wife in vain perſwaded him to diſmiſs the Aſſembly: in repeating his Sermons, Singing and Prayer, he ſpent about two hours time.
At Supper he did eat a little with his wife, and that chearfully, yet complained of an unuſual heavineſs in his head, and ſoreneſs in his eys, when endeavou…ing to lift them up, and took little reſt the enſuing night.
The next morning ſeeing that he muſt be ſick indeed, he bleſſed the Lord, that he found him in his work. The Phyſitian being ſent for, and conſulted with, ſaid, he had got cold, and was feavoriſh: the ſecond night is paſſed over with as little reſt as the firſt.
A day of Thankſgiving in private for his own return from London, and his wives late ſafe delivery, was deſigned to be celebrated about this time; the conſideration of which occaſioned ſome ſadneſs, whereupon to his wife he ſaid, This is ſad love, this looks as if the Lord would not accept of an Offering of praiſe from our hands: And then he called for the Notes of a Thankſgiving Sermon, preached long before by Doctor Jones on that paſſage of Hezekiah, Who rendred not unto the Lord according 2 Chro. 32. 25.to the benefit.
The third day, as a choice Chriſtian friend, who came to viſit him, was diſcourſing with his wife, he fell afleep, and two or three hours after awaking, he called for his wife, who coming to him, and kneeling down upon the beds ſide, he fixed his eys on her, and ſaid, doſt thou know that place, I will give them the Hoſ. 2. 15.Valley of Achor for a door of hope? Who ſaid, yes. He further asked her if ſhe k…ew the meaning of it, who expreſſing her apprehenſions, he ſaid, yea, there it is and then a little nodding his head, and pointing with his finger at her, ſaid, Rem…mber this Our valley of trouble ſhall be our door of hope.
About the fifth day, in letting blood he fainted, and with a low voyce ſaid, What means this? it was not thus with me at Sir Roberts Kings. To his wife looking upon him, he ſaid, Now Love; it is a weaning time. He was more careful of Gods Service then of his own attendance, cauſing the ſervants to leave him, that ſo their duty to God in ways of worſhip might not be neglected.
The ſeventh day, being the Sabbath, he inquired who carried on the work, and ſeemed to affect retirement, and ſecret converſe with God upon his own day. Moſt part of the ſecond week was paſſed over in a ſilent ſubmiſſion, and quiet waiting on the Lord.
The thirteenth day in the morning, being Saturday, his pains were very violent for an hour and half, and extorted from him that doleful complaint, Lord how long? Ah, my bowels, my bowels, I have grieved bowels, this ſpeaks much; I have wanted bowels, I have not been ſo pittiful towards others.
The Doctor being ſent for, and ſtaying longer then was expected, he ſaid, Lord give us help from trouble, for vain is the help of man. At night he was much refreſhed, chearful all night Pſal. 60▪ 11.and prone to diſcourſe, and praiſed without any complaining, and withall ſaid, I would have given the whole world for ſo much eaſe in the morning.
The Lords day in the morning the Doctor coming to him, and looking on him, wept, to whom Maſter Murcot ſaid, How is it with me? Doctor: You may do well Brother, I hope, if you can get any ſleep. Maſter Murcot: Tell me true, how is my Pulſe? Doctor: I confeſs it is but bad, but you may do well if you can ſleep, which he indeavoured a while, (though in vain) by cloſing his eys. To his wife looking ſadly on him, he ſaid, Love, canſt thou pray for …leep for me, what ſaiſt thou? to which her ſwelling grief permitted her not to return anſwer. The rumou… of his weak condition being ſpread abroad, a Doctor was ſent from my Lord Deputy, to ſee if there were any hope of life, who ſpeaking to him, he ſaid, Doctor, I am ſpent with ſweating. To his Siſter he ſaid, and that without any amazement and pe… turbation of ſpirit: Siſter, I muſt now tell you, I am not for this world and then lifting up himſelf, he ſaid, Lord remember me, 2 King. 20. 3.how I have walked before thee in ſincerity, with all my might. He wiſhed the Sabbath were over, that ſo he might do ſomething about his Will, though little were to be done. His wife ſeeing & hearing theſe paſſages, ſaid to him, Now I ſee that you know that you muſt leave us. He anſwered, yes Love; whereat ſhe weeping, he exhorted her to a Reſignation, to which ſhe anſwered, The Lord hath enabled me to ſurrender you up heartily; at the …ear…ng of which he lifting up his hands, bleſſed the Lord. To h…s w…fe he ſaid, haſte haſte Love, for my time is very ſhort, and withall told his Siſter, I ſhall not reach midnight. Then lifting up himfelf, he ſaid, theſe raptures tell me I muſt be gone quickly. The conſideration of his approaching reſt did wonderfully revive. The Meſſenger of the Lord whiſpered him in the ear, and told him his Father had ſent for him home, which happy tidings made his heart to …eap for joy within him. The glimmerings of the white Throne, of the Lamb ſitting on that Throne, and of the glorious troops of Saints and Angels all in white about the I …rone, with the apprehenſions and confident aſſurance of his bearing a part in the Muſick, of their Hallelujahs, cauſed in him ſublime elevations, and ſpringing exultings of ſpirit in a body depreſſed, and bowed down with pinching pains, and the agonies of an approaching death. He is now in the Cutfields of Emanuels Land, and is gotten almoſt to the top of the Mount, and his ſoul, impatient of delaies, is ready to leap out of the crazy and declining Cottage of mouldring Fleſh.
Paper being brought, he began thus; I reſign my ſpirit into the hands of the Father of Spirits, and into the boſome of my dear Lord, &c. To this there were but three or four lines more added, for he was in haſte and longed to be at home.
To his wife (having in a very ſhort ſpace diſpatched his Will) he ſaid, Bury me in ſilence, without Funeral Sermon, I will have no manner of pomp; but was perſwaded to yeild to the intreaties of his wife, as to a Sermon.
As his children were called for, Doctor Winter came in to viſit him, who unexpectedly ſeeing death in his face, ſaid, with a loud and lamenting voice, Brother Murcot are you leaving us? who with unaltered countenance, ſaid, Yes, and deſired him to pray quickly. His children being brought, he ſaid to his eldeſt, Will Heſter be a good child and ſerve the Lord? His ſon being preſented, he expreſſed himſelf thus, The Lord break thy ſtubborn heart. When the little one hanging on the mothers breſt was expoſed to his ſight, he lift up his hands, and ſaid, The Lord bleſs thee. Being put in mind of his ſervants, he affectionately and even ſmilingly looked up upon one, whom he had been inſtrumental to convert, and ſaid, Beſs hath a better Maſter, the Lord be with thee Beſs. The children being taken away, and his wife coming to take her laſt leave and final farewel of him, he alone lift up himſelf and kiſſed her. Dr. Winter deſiring an intereſt in his prayers, he ſaid, The Lord ſtrengthen you for the double work that now lies on you, and withal deſired him to pray with him; which he did in a moſt pathetical and doleful manner, groaning out his requeſts unto God. The people, though deſired, are loath to leave the chamber, and hang ſo thick on the curtains, bed-poſts, hangings, doors, having not the power to leave their dear and departing friend, ſo that he is in danger of being ſmothered, and dying before his time.
Drawing near his end, his ſiſter ſaid to him, Are you in charity with all the Lords people, though differing from you? Who lifting up his eyes affectionately, ſaid, Yes; She deſiring him to manifeſt it by his laſt requeſt, he lifted up his hands and requeſted, that all the Lords people might be one, as his way was one.
Then ſtretching out his arms, and lifting himſelf up, he ſaid with a loud and ſhrill voice, Lord Jeſus draw me up to thee: which ſweet expreſſions, by a frequent and fervent repetition waſted his ſpirits, ſo that afterwards he lay in ſomewhat a ſilent poſture, waiting for his change, which was now neer at hand.
About nine of the clock he breathed out his ſoul into the boſom of Chriſt, and quietly ſlept in the Lord.
The Wedneſday following, being the appointed time of his interment, great was the confluence of people, who attended the corps unto the grave. The Lord Deputy Fleetwood followed the Body, after him the Council, then the Maior, Aldermen, and Citizens in ſuch numerous troops, that the like hath not been uſually ſeen in Dublin. Dr. Winter preached his funeral Sermon, on Heb. 13. 7. Remember them which have the rule over you, who have ſpoken unto you the word of God, whoſe Faith follow, conſidering the end of their converſation.—Upon the face of the whole Congregation ſate a black cloud of ſorrow and diſconſolation, being not able to vent it on that doleful and uncomfortable occaſion into ſhowers. The Body being brought unto the place of burial, the ſadned ſpectators and ſtanders-by ſighed him into his grave, and mingling his duſt with their moiſt tears, departed and left him in his bed of reſt.
Relation I would willing back with Exhortation. A few words of ſpiritual advice in the cloſe of the whole may be of uſe, though from an inferiour hand.
And firſt to you, my Brethren in the Miniſtry, I addreſs my ſelf, and earneſtly intreate you in the bowels of Chriſt Jeſus our Lord to remember, That you are not only Church-Officers, but Chriſtians. Spend not your whole time in reading books, and ſtudying other men; you will do well to ſtudy your ſelves, and to be acquainted with the frame of your own hearts. The way which you point out unto others, walk in your ſelves, and conſcientiouſly practiſe the duties which you pangatively preſs. Beware of beams in your own eyes, whileſt you are diligently Mat. 7. 3.plucking motes out of your brothers eyes. Let not your own cloathes be full of duſt, when you are bruſhing other mens backs. Its not handſom for us to be alwaies ſweeping before the doors of others, and picking up the leaſt offenſive ſtraw, whileſt huge heaps of dunghil filth lie before our own doors unremoved. It Mat. 23. 4.opens the mouths of oppoſites, when we are taken notice of, to bind heavy burdens on other mens ſhoulders, we in the mean time refuſing to touch them with the leaſt of our fingers. Know we not the pleadings of many at the laſt day, Have we not preached Mat. 7. 22, 23.in thy name, and in thy name caſt out Devils? whom yet Chriſt will ſpurn from his preſence, and caſt forth as an everlaſting abhorring.
What though Judas had the grace of Apoſtleſhip, ſo long as he had not grace with his Apoſtleſhip? It was a wiſe courſe that Paul took, and deſerving imitation, who did beat down his own 1 Cor. 9. 27.body, leſt having preached unto others, he himſelf ſhould become a caſt-away. What though Satan fall down from heaven like …ightning before us, if he be not caſt out of our hearts? We have more reaſon to rejoyce in having our names written in the Luk. 10. 20.Lambs book of Life, then in having the Devils ſubject to us. O whileſt we paſsionately endeavour the ſalvation of others ſouls, let us have an eye of tender regard unto our own. One hint more at parting,—We cannot be too often put in mind of that which is our proper work, and doth moſt neerly concern us to be buſied about: viz. Reading, Exhortation, Doctrine. Let 1 Tim. 4. 13.not our Sabbath-daies diſcourſes ſavour of the tireſom diſtractions of the preceding week; giving the People occaſion to ſay, That if we were leſs earthly and carnal, our diſcourſes would be more heavenly and ſpiritual. The ingrateful world many times puts us to our ſhifts to get a ſubſiſtence, yet let us take heed of too deep and unneceſſary engagements in matters ſecular, that are heterogeneal and excentrical to our employment. Its inconvenient, and gives occaſion of diſguſt to be ſeen ſo often in the ſtreets, and found ſo ſeldom in our ſtudies. It ſhould not ſatisfie that ſomething is done by us on the Lords day, to ſtop the clamours of conſcience, and the Congregation. It becomes not thoſe who ſhould ſerve God with all their might, to offer unto him that which coſt them nothing. The more pains we take in private, the more rational and methodical ſhall we be in publike. Thoſe Sermons are moſt affectionate, and melting, that are written with ſweat and tears as well as Ink. Sapleſs and ſucceſsleſs uſually are thoſe diſcourſes, that are the bluſtring inforcements, and yawning exactations of luſty lungs, and not the clear and elaborate diſtillations of a judicious, and working brain. A loud ſound of words may make the ears to tingle, and cauſe a blind, and confuſed agitation of the affections to little purpoſe; but the Underſtanding and Reaſon are not captivated but by clear and ſolid arguments. As for diſgorging that which lies uppermoſt, on the top of a ſquezy ſtomach, under the notion of the immediate, and undoubted dictates of the Spirit; that hath been ſufficiently exploded by able pens, as being apparently repugnant to ſound Reaſon and Religion.
Chriſtians, I would likewiſe caution and adviſe in a few words.
1. Flatter not your ſelves with fallacious and ungrounded hopes of being ſaved upon eaſie terms. Religion knows no reward without a preceding work. Expect not to ride in a triumphant Chariot, unleſs you firſt tumble in ſweat and duſt. Lazy Lozels ſhall be ſcourged, when conquering combatants ſhall be crowned. Chriſt hath told you, that the way is narrow, and the Gate is ſtraight; and therefore turn the deaf ear to the contrary Mat. 7. 14.ſuggeſtions of thoſe, who would fain perſwade you, that the way is broader, and the Gate wider then Chriſt hath made it. The Saints of old took no more pains then was neceſſary, who inſtantly ſerved God day and night, in order to obtaining the promiſed, Acts 26 7.and purchaſed inheritance. Our way is up-hill, no coming thither without panting.
2. Be not diſcouraged becauſe of the unavoidable difficulties of Religion. Let not the high hills, and the ragged rocks over which you muſt climb, fright you into a benumming deadneſs, and irreſolution. Lay not aſide your Oars, though the wind and …ide be againſt you. Are not others ſafely landed, who were aſſaulted with the like oppoſition, and therefore why ſhould you deſpond?
3. Though I propoſe the exemplary life of this holy man, as worthy your imitation, yet I would have you look higher: Follow him no farther then you ſee him following Chriſt. It was a laudable height, and pitch in Religion which he attained unto, and which the generality of Profeſſors come ſhort of; Yet I do not urge you to ſail after him, and ſteer the ſame courſe, with the neglect of your Compaſs. Let your eye be upon the never-erring rule of the word. The moſt Seraphical, and beſt of Saints on this ſide heaven, have ſome droſs mixed with their gold, ſome water with their moſt ſparkling and generous wine. I would not have you to be holy only, as this or that man is holy, whom you conceive to be more then ordinarily excellent, and one of thoſe who are in the higheſt form of the School of Chriſt. Let Chriſt alone be Pattern, which you will exactly imitate, and the Copy that you will write after. He was a Copy without blot, and a Lamb without ſpot.
The moſt ſhining and ſpiritual part of Mr. Murcots life, is taken out of his Diary, or daily account of himſelf in writing: The like Practiſe I would paſsionately perſwade. Its numerous advantages will recompence the preſent toyl. Me thinks ſuch Arguments as theſe ſhould be cogent, and conſtraining.
1. Self-acquaintance. A prime point of wiſdom is the knowledge of a mans ſelf. If he be accounted wiſe, who is well verſt in State-affairs, and hath in his mind formed characters of the moſt noted men of his times: If he be reputed wiſe, who is acquainted with the nature of Angels, and elementary Bodies; who knows the myſterious motions, and influential operations of the ſtars, and can give a deſcription of the ſeveral birds that flie in the air, of all ſorts of beaſts that move upon the face of the earth, and of the unnumbered kinds of Fiſhes that ſwim in the great and wide Sea; then much more wiſe muſt he needs be, who by much ſearching hath acquired the knowledge of himſelf.
The benefits of this ſelf-acquaintance would be deſervedly conſidered.
1. Its of conſequence to know what our condition is, as to life and death, and upon what terms we ſtand in order to ſalvation. Being daily weighed in the Ballance of the Sanctuary, we ſhall find whether or no we are too light. Its good to prevent thoſe miſtakes, which being not diſcovered, may prove the loſs of our ſouls.
2. When thou findeſt luſt prevailing, with apparent decaies and declinings in grace, here's an occaſion adminſtred for godly ſorrow to vent it ſelf, by pouring forth penitential tears before the Lord.
3. If thou ſeeſt the pleaſant plant of grace to thrive, and flouriſh, and overtop the ſtinking weeds of thy corruptions; and if thou feel the Sun-ſhine of Gods favourable face in Chriſt, warming and chearing thy heart; here's fewel laid in for the fire of thy joy to burn and blaze. Theſe rare expreſſions of mercy, provoke thee to thankſulneſs, and to ſing aloud of Gods goodneſs.
2. Prevention of evil. The conſideration of this, that the evil which falls from us muſt be recorded by us, and that for this end, that we might thence take occaſion to loath and abhor our ſelves in duſt and aſhes, will lay a reſtraint upon us, and be as a bridle in our mouthes, to check the inſolency of unruly luſt.
3. Accounts leſs confuſed when we come to dye. He that makes even with God every day, will find his death-bed work to be comfortably lightned and leſſened. He that delaies and puts off the remembrance of his waies; and calling himſelf to an account till he come to be tormented with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with ſtrong pain, will find himſelf in an unmeet poſture for a work of that nature. If our ſickneſs be not ſuch, as to extort loud out-cries and hideous exclamations, yet it will be ſure to oppreſs, and bow down with a dull and heavy unchearfulneſs.
Self-examination is a ſolitary duty, and requires a calm, and undiſturbed retirement. Now the curtains of a ſick-bed are often opened, and the languiſhing Patient ſeldom at reſt. The weeping wife, lamenting children, ſorrowful ſervants, buſie Phyſitian, condoling viſitants, muſt all be heeded and hearkened to, and anſwers returned to their enquiries; ſo that our time is taken up in meditating on our pain, and relating it to others. Doubtleſs, health and a cloſet are moſt convenient for ſelf-reflexions, which if procraſtinated till the laſt period of our lives, are rarely attended with a real converſion, and turning to God in truth and ſincerity. How ſeldom are dying men new-born? and they added to the Church, that are going out of the world? The ſins of departing ſouls come crouding and thronging in ſo thick upon them, ſo that a diſtinct conſideration of them cannot be taken; and now mens former golden dreams of heaven, and high-flown hopes of afterhappineſs, vaniſh like ſmoak, and leave behind them in their ſtead, deſpair, deſtraction, confuſion, conſternation, and a certain fearful expectation, and looking for of fiery indignation to devour.
O that men were wiſe, that they would remember their latter ends, and whileſt the light ſhines, provide for the daies of darkneſs, for they are many.
The Devil hath a jealous eye upon all Engines that might probably batter his Kingdom, looſen his hold, and weaken his intereſt: beſides, the fleſh loves to be abundantly favoured, and therefore I expect that objections againſt this courſe, of calling our ſelves to account daily, will be multiplied.
Object. 1. The work ſeems to be attended with many thorny, and inextricable difficulties; hence mens loathneſs to take it up.
Anſw. 1. He that withdraws his neck from the yoak of Chriſt becauſe of its pinching weight, is unworthy of Chriſt. In vain do men hope to be ſaved, who provide for their own eaſe, when Chriſt is calling upon them for ſervice. Never expect to look him with comfort in the face, unleſs you reſolve to be indefatigable in his work.
2. Do not men upon a worldly ſcore take abundance of pains in caſting up their accounts? Will not the practiſe of many merchants riſe up in judgement againſt themſelves, and others at the laſt day? They can riſe early, & ſit up late, and immure themſelves in their cloſets and counting-houſes, and there at large ſet down their receipts, and disburſments. Marriners, when at Sea, ſet down in their Diurnals, every turn of the wind, and when it began, how many hours, nay minutes the ſhip ſailed ſuch a point of the Compaſs, and how many another; yea, though they ſleep but half the night, yet they muſt find time to do this, becauſe their lives lie at the ſtake, and the ſafety of the whole is concerned. How come ſouls trow to be at ſuch a low and cheap rate, that the ſafety and welfare of the Body ſhould be preferred before them?
3. It is better to take pains then to run the hazard of ſuffering eternal pains.
4. The greateſt part of the difficulty lies in the Porch: when you are once entred into the Houſe, you will not repent of the pains you have taken, but find encouragement to take more. A clear diſcovery of a mans condition hath in it much of ſatisfaction.
Object. 2. Multiplicity of unavoidable worldly occaſions by ſome may be pretended for their omiſſion of this duty: they have not time; and leiſure enough to do as others do.
Anſw. 1. One thing only is neceſſary, other things are but convenient. Its neceſſary that you have grace, and be ſaved; not ſo that you be rich, and advanced to an high degree in the world.
2. Leſſen your buſineſs, and contract your occaſions within a narrower compaſs. Have leſs to do in the world, that ſo you may have more time to ſpend in a devout retirement.
Believe it Chriſtians, Time is a precious Talent that muſt be reckoned for: See therefore that you husband it to the beſt advantage. Be ſure you reſerve the morning, and evening for converſe with God, and communing with your own hearts, not neglecting a watchful jealouſie over your ſelves all the day.
Religion is not a little obſtructed by unneceſſary viſits, frothy diſcourſes, unſaint-like gamings and Paganiſh paſtimes. Take heed of being late abroad out of your own houſes. It becomes not thoſe who profeſs they look for, and haſt unto the coming of the Lord, to come ſtumbling home, and to be groping for their doors at midnight, when they ſhould rather be in the ſecret chamber, dreſſing and making themſelves ready againſt the marriage-Supper of the Lamb.
I am bold to affirm, that reading the Scriptures, inſtructing our families, praying to God, and ſinging praiſes to his name, &c. make ſweeter muſick in his ears, then the ratling of Tables, and the ſhuffling of Cards, the bane of great mens houſes, and it were well if the infection had not diffuſed it ſelf to multitudes of inferiour families.
The plain truth of it is, men and women for the generality of them, chuſe not God for their chiefeſt good, they make not him the object of their delight, their rejoycing is not in Chriſt Jeſus; Religion is a ſapleſs, yea a ſour thing unto them, and hence it is that they turn aſide to vain ſports, and ſenſible delights.
If you find your hearts averſe to the practiſe of a Diary, yet let me intreat and ingage you to make tryal of it for a few daies; do not obſtinately decline a courſe which you have no experience of.
But if you are reſolved through grace to take up, and perſevere in the practiſe of the duty propoſed, beware that it do not degenerate into a cuſtomary and empty formality. Reſt not in the bare doing of the thing, but proſecute the work in order to its ends, which are ſpiritual and of unſpeakable advantage.
FINIS.