England Faithfully Watched, Lecture 46
COLOSSIANS 1.21. And you that were ſometimes alienated, and enemies in your mindes by wicked workes, yet now hath he reconciled, &c.
A Double condition is here mentioned; what theſe Coloſſians are, and what they once were; They were alienated in their mindes, naught at heart, ſoules ſinfull; and this they expreſſed in life by wicked workes; very doingly evill; and yet theſe, though thus bad, made very good, hell-fire in the ſoule quenched, two ſpirits burning one againſt another, reconciled by an act of love, and man and God made one in the bodie of Chriſts fleſh, to be preſented blameleſſe in the exacteſt eye. And you that were ſometimes alienated, &c. yet now hath he reconciled in the bodie of his fleſh, &c.
How ever condition change, yet it's a good thing to conſider what once wee were. And you which were ſometimes ſo and ſo. The heart is naught, it forgets its own worſt and Gods beſt acts. You were ſo ſinfull, you are now otherwiſe; you need be hinted and minded of both; as if the Apoſtle had ſaid; Sin ſlips out of our minds; tranſgreſſion makes laſting impreſſion upon Gods Spirit, though little upon ours. I remember what once you were, though yee have forgotten.
Doctr. Wee are apt ſinfully to forget ſin.
Some glory in their ſhame, that's a ſinfull remembring of ſin; ſo ſome die in their ſhame, this alſo is a ſinfull remembring of ſin. Evill paſt thought of with joy, or thought of with deſpaire, are both diſpleaſing to Chriſt. My ſin is ever before me, they are a load too heavie; this was not commended by God, though loved by a wounded ſpirit. There are two extreames, and both naught; broken hearts ever thinke of their ſins, and hard hearts never; a ſtone as oft ſighes as they. The text and point I am upon, points at a third thing, though diſtinct from either of theſe, (i) ſin remembred with godly ſorrow, this godly hearts are backward to, 'tis intimated in the text. Yee were enemies in your minds by wicked workes: doe yee remember it.
Some acts awaken conſcience, he ſpeakes the ſaddeſt of any facultie: a carnall creature willingly neglects ſad worke. To call to minde what I was at ſuch a place, and at ſuch a time, is to throw ſparkles of fire upon a ſleepie dog, which will make him ſtart up, flie out, and barke and bite fiercely. Man loves his fleſh, yea he loves his ſpirit; he doth not love to be bit in either, if he can tell how to ſhift it. The beſt are bad, though not ſtarke naught; good ſpirits are apt to play the ſlugge, in thoſe duties that are dolorous and painfull. I remembred God and was troubled, and complained, and my ſpirit was overwhelmed. To remember what God is, and how unſutable wee have been to him, will trouble, yea overwhelme the ſtouteſt ſpirit; we doe not care to meddle with troubleſome works. When ſin revives we die: remembring what we were, reviveth ſin: 'tis terrible to the fleſh, to wound and kill it ſelfe; 'tis ſo ſpiritually, we had rather any ſhould wake and ſit up then conſcience; we had rather goe quietly to hell, then conſcience ſhould torment us before the time.
Man is a lazie creature: examination of ones former ſtate is hard worke, fleſh and bloud ſhunnes this quite, yea grace neglects this oft, till loſſe be great. I call to remembrance my ſong in the night; I commune with mine own heart, and my ſpirit made diligent ſearch. But 'twas long firſt, ſo long, till he ſtood in feare of being caſt off for ever, as you may ſee in the next verſe, Pſalm. 77.6, 7. A ſtring ſlackened or broken in play, and 'tis laborious to be winding up the pin ſtill to keepe tune to the ſong one ſings; to take notice how many notes too flat or too loud in play, requires a diligent eare, the labour of it makes one willing to paſſe by, and forget many falſe ſtroakes. If the examination of ſmall things be ſo laborious, much more to examine things of weight, our ſpirituall ſtate when all is naught. Man doth not love hard worke, nor terrible worke.
Tranſgreſſion multiplies, and young children make one forget old ones; Preſent tranſgreſſions harden, or wound much: the heart hardened, becomes uncapable to conſider any ſin, the ſin of laſt yeare, or of this yeare, or of this houre. A ſtone melts under no conſideration; a ſtone thinkes of nothing, neither of things paſt, preſent, or to come. Multiplication of ſin, makes ſtonie hearts. Their hearts are as hard as an adamant. You cannot beat things into a ſtone, no words nor blowes, will make hard hearts thinke of their wayes. Though a man eate of the evill of his way, weekes, moneths, yeares, yet will not this make him bethinke himſelfe, what ſteps he trod in all that while, to call his way evill, and his perſon wicked: Preſent ſin, if it harden not much, it wounds much, and wounded perſons thinke altogether of their preſent paine. Dolour diſtracts, crazie braines are weake at any thing, but worſt at recollection, ſpecially if things of weight. When wounds are deep, much bleeding inwardly, makes much faintneſſe: Languiſhing dying ſoules, thinke of nothing but going to hell. 'Tis with ſins, as 'tis with mercies, when a man goes about to number them, one can finde no end of them, and this makes a bleeding heart leave looking backward, and look forward, to fix his eyes upon that blacke place, whither all ſin lookes; he leaves multiplying, number riſes ſo innumerably, and turnes himſelfe to conſider where all will end; the ſum of all will come to this, ſaith he, the death of my ſoule for ever; becauſe the ſinner can make a kinde uſe of no ſin, he gives up the conſideration of all, and lays down his ſoule at the foot of Juſtice for loſt. I am ſure, all ſin centers whither my ſoule is going, ſaith the ſinner, and cloſeth his eyes; though I cannot tell their number, yet I know their nature. All runs into this, Wee are all apt ſinfully to forget ſin.
Ʋſe. God certainly hath eſpied this, and he is rouſing up our memory. Wrath doth much, when love can do but little. God will have every one conſider what he was, and what he is, before he hath done: England, unhappy England, thou doſt neither, therefore doſt thou bleed and die daily; thou doſt not lay to heart what thou waſt, nor what thou art: For twenty yeers together, forty, fifty yeers and more, haſt thou been a bitter perſecuting kingdome of truth and godlineſſe: What art thou now? France is noted for pride, Germany for drunkenneſſe, but England for perſecuting the power of godlineſſe, the laſt of theſe is the worſt, and by ſo much the more the worſt, by how much more we leſſe think what we have been, and are. How many Saints ſuffered under Queen Mary! How many under Biſhops! a Prelaticall ſpirit is ſtill alive, truth and the power of godlineſſe perſecuted at this day, and what ſuffering is yet behinde for Chriſt, Chriſt knowes. Englands genius and dexterity, ſeems to lie this way, alwayes to vex the Saints of the moſt High. Thou haſt made many a conſcience bleed, O England, therefore doth thy carkaſſe bleed. Doſt thou call to mind thy bitterneſſe and baſeneſſe againſt Chriſt and godlineſſe? Our ruines are great, this lies heavie upon us. Many think of what they had, and weep, but not of what they did, when they had ſuch things, and weep. We are more apt to lay to heart miſery, then ſin, though this be the greateſt miſery in the world; 'twas Jeruſalems caſe, 'tis Englands. He hath turned aſide my wayes, and pulled me in pieces; he hath made me deſolate, he hath made his arrows to enter into my reines, he hath filled me with bitterneſſe, he hath made me drunk with wormwood; and ſo goes on exactly repeating miſerie, Lament. 3. But obſerve what ſhe ſaith, verſ. 19, 20. Remember my affliction and my miſery, the wormwood and the gall [my ſoul hath them ſtill in remembrance] and is humbled in me, &c. The gall and the wormwood that God gave Jeruſalem, this ſhe had ſtill in her remembrance, but the gall and vineger which ſhe gave Chriſt and his ſervants, this not ſo called to minde. 'Tis ſo with us; our loſſes and overthrowes in the Weſt, in the North, the gall and wormwood which God in divers fights hath given us, this is called to mind, and dayes of mourning, becauſe of it, but the gall and wormwood which we have for many yeers, and under ſeverall Princes raignes given to Chriſt and his members, we call not this to minde.
I will give you a ſad demonſtration, that England doth ſinfully forget her ſin, that ſhe does not call to minde what ſhe was in Biſhops time. The demonſtration is this: to wit, an aptneſſe to run into the ſame ſin. Sin kindly called to minde, melts the heart; the heart melted, abhors its former courſe. Yea, what indignation, yea, what revenge! Where is this to be found now, againſt that barbarous and bloody ſin of burthening the conſcience with unwarranted things which was the ſin of Biſhops, and for which the Land now mourns. Are we not very apt to run into the ſame courſes? What is that which wee humbly ſeek for now in matters of Church-government, but divine warrant, and where this is not, that cuſtomes and courſes of our own may not be impoſed? and yet this accounted harſh and refractorineſſe by many, and perſons conſcienciouſly carried but at this height, conſtrued and trampled on at mens pleaſure, becauſe they can ſtoop to nothing but the will of Chriſt: Conſciences are of ſeverall conſtitutions; ſuch as are peeviſh muſt be pitied, not knocked in head; ſuch as are ingenuouſly tender, honoured; where neither of theſe can be found, that ſpirit is Prelaticall, and Lording over the conſcience, let it live in what breaſt it will. Now what pity, or what honour, tender conſciences find at this preſent in England, of all Lands, I leave to you to judge. Satan rages at us in many, God is good to us in a few, to bind him up, or we ſhould be buried alive again, thrown in priſons and dungeons again, as bad as ever; mens tongues talk freely this way, which ſpeaks the heart, and what the hand ſhould be, if other things did concurre. How do mens fingers itch to be tearing our eſtates and fortunes, and whatſoever is dear, as formerly! Antichriſt is ſet forth in the Scripture, under various ſhapes; alteration of times neceſſitates him to change habite, to ſave his life and livelihood; but he never went ſo like a Lamb as now, and yet a Lion ſtill; poor hearts can tell you ſo, which feel how bard he pinches, name, ſtate, conſcience, &c. If this be repenting for former ill deeds, then England doth not ſinfully forget her former ſins.
If inclination to former ſins, make demonſtration of a ſinfull forgetting of ſin, reſolution to former courſes may much more; I beg that this may never gather about thy heart, O England, for death is in it: my heart bleeds for thee, when I conſider, with what violence thou goeſt in thine own way, but in this I ſpare thee yet, and ſpeak more of this to God upon my knees.
Application hitherto hath been nationall, let every one turn it now, and make it perſonall. I was a blaſphemer, a perſecutor, alienated from God by wicked works, but now I have obtained mercy. I doubt you cannot all ſay thus. Do you lay your condition paſt and preſent to heart; and no ſmiting of breaſt; nor no change? it cannot be. What you were you are, and would be. Alas for ſuch ſouls! their condition is more miſerable then any, they have no mercy, nor care for none. The firſt ſtep to converſion, is to conſider what we have been, and are. I conſidered my wayes, turned my feet unto thy teſtimonies. The prodigall came to himſelf, and then returned to his father. To himſelf (i.) to conſider what courſe he had led, what ſtate he was in, whither that way he was in did lead. Would ſinners would tread one ſtep in the way to life: What is the courſe I have led? What a man, or a woman have I been hitherto? A ſinners hand to the Devils Plough, he may look back, and do well; but Satan is againſt it: ſo is a mans own heart, yet ſomething muſt be done in this way againſt both, or the ſoul is unavoidably loſt. Satan cannot endure that a man ſhould commune with his own heart, his wayes have no gloſſe at a view, he hath twenty wayes to prevent the danger of loſing a ſoul. What's paſt cannot be helped, what ſhouldeſt thou trouble thy ſelf to think upon't. God forgets thy ſin, and wilt not thou? Sinner, Satan is rocking thy ſoul now, if thou look not to it, thou will die in a ſlumber. God forgets our ſins, when we do remember them, and lay them upon Chriſt, not otherwiſe; when we examine our ſelves and judge our ſelves, and go out of our ſelves to Chriſt. If we confeſſe our ſin, God is mercifull to forgive: Many that had been thus and thus, ſaith the Text, came and confeſt their deeds, and then found mercy from Chriſt. Chriſt will know what a man hath been out of his own mouth, ere he make him better. Chriſt will know what a man hath been, what a man is, and what he would be, and then goes to work hard indeed to make a miſerable creature, bleſſed.
Take this Item, we can do nothing of our ſelves, the leaſt good is above us: to look back upon a bad life, 'tis of grace; as well as to reform a bad life. Creepies muſt take hold of ſomething when they would go: In our weakneſſe to duty, we muſt lean upon the Word of God. If you want a word to lean upon, I will give you one: And they that eſcape of you, ſhall remember me among the nations whither they ſhall be carried captives, becauſe I am broken with their whoriſh heart, and they ſhall loath themſelves, for the evills they have committed in all their abominations, Ezek. 6.9. 'Tis hard to finde a looking glaſſe to ſee ones life from one end to tother, yet Chriſt can help us to one, and he hath promiſed this and more, to make us look upon all our abominations, and to loath them and our ſelves for them; a ſoul got thus far, will grow in grace apace; no motive to the ſoul to grow kind to Chriſt, as to think well how unkind it hath been. What a hater, and then what a lover of Chriſt was Paul: To look back upon badneſſe, 'twill raiſe goodneſſe, when the heart is turned; O how oft have I kickt againſt Chriſt. How oft now ſhould I kiſſe him! How baſely did I tread him under foot, and how tenderly now ſhould I lay him in my boſome! Paul laboured more abundantly then they all. If you would be eminent for the ſtrength of love, and for the truth of love, look back.