The Spirit of Bondage and Adoption, Treatise 2 · Chapter 31
CHAP. XXXI. An exhortation to recover the loſt evidence of the Spirit. And ſome advice how to do it in two particulars.
HEnce be exhorted (thirdly) to labour to recover it, if loſt.
Qu. How ſhall I do that?
A. 1. Sit not down quietly, reſt not in that condition. If a man have loſt the evidences of his land, he will look over all his boxes and cheſts, and romage every corner (as we ſay) and will not leave, till he hath found them again. Thus (in the place before quoted) did the Holy man, Pſ. 77. My ſpirit made diligent ſearch.
The Saints of God in the Scripture could never ſit ſtill under ſuch a dark condition. It was death to them, Pſalm 13. 3. and 143. 3, 4, 7.
And no wonder; for the darkening of their evidences, is a ſuſpenſion of all influences. As during the darkneſſe of the night, or the eclipſe of the ſun by that interception of light, there is a ſuſpenſion of that quickening influence which the ſun hath in things below. All graces will wither when God thus hides his face, all Duties will be dead, and barren, all comforts clouded, and imbittered, as I before alſo ſhewed you.
A woman that loves an husband, & is reaſſured of his affection to her, cannot endure long abſence from him. If ever you have been raviſhed with the love of God, you cannot bear his abſence long.
Here I do not adviſe you to an impatient Caution.reſtleſſeneſſe under that condition. No, that is too often the fault of Saints. But I caution you againſt a ſloathfull reſting in ſuch a condition. I muſt be contented with it as it is Gods pleaſure, but I muſt not be contented with it, as it is occaſioned by my default.
(To know this) you muſt.
2. Enquire where, and how you loſt it. I have before ſhewn you what duties will preſerve it, and what ſinnes will forfeit or obſcure it. Examine your memory now: what duty have I failed in of all thoſe, or what ſinne have I fallen into, which is before diſcovered? In the day of adverſity, conſider, Eccleſ. 7. 14. Examine the particulars. Have I not been careleſſe in recording my evidences, either in mine own memory; or if I have not, have I not entruſted them more with my ſelf then with God; have I not relyed upon my own ſtrength to preſerve them? Have I laboured in the uſe of all means to ſtrengthen them? Have I not been guilty of ſpiritual pride in them, carnal boaſting of them, ſecurity and careleſneſſe in preſerving and maintaining them, preſumptuous ſinning becauſe of them, formality and ſpiritual ſloath in the duties of Religion, earthly-mindedneſſe, keeping cooling company? Have I lived a life of love, thankfulneſſe, and obedience under them? In a word, have I carryed my ſelf as became the receiver of ſo great a mercy, the poſſeſſor of ſo rich a treaſure?
If you find where and how you loſt it, ſeek it there. It may be it was but miſlaid by careleſſeneſſe. Think then what duty thou haſt been careleſſe in; remember whence thou Apoc. 2, 5.haſt fallen. Or if by ſome ſinne thou haſt loſt them, find out that ſinne, and when that is removed out of the way, it will bee found again.
David had laid two great blocks upon his box of writings, and they were even loſt for a whole year, or very little leſſe, till renewed repentance removed them, and he reenjoyed them. So Peter by denying his Maſter, loſt his comfort, but repenting, hee recovers a favourable reſpect from Chriſt again. Go tell the Diſciples, and Peter, ſaith the Angel, that he is riſen, Mar. 16. 7. Tell Peter in particular, by way of peculiar favour.
Qu. But how ſhall I know what ſinne it is that obſcures, or miſlays, or ſteals away my evidence? How ſhall I know why God denies me the wonted influence of his comforting Spirit?
A. Firſt, Enquire or God, Job 10. 2. And then,
Secondly, ſearch by theſe Rules.
1. Ordinarily, that ſinne which (upon ſerious ſearch of thy heart and ways) firſt preſents it ſelf to the eye of conſcience, is the ſin, whether it be of omiſſion or commiſſion. God is not a little ſeen in the experiences of his people this way. The voice of conſcience is the voice of God, not only in thoſe things for which it hath a certain rule, but in thoſe things where its knowledge is but conjectural (many times) it ſpeaks by an immediate ſuggeſtion from Gods holy Spirit: certainly Jacobs ſons had other ſinnes upon them, when they were in that ſtreight in Egypt, which we finde recorded in Gen. 42. but of all their other ſinnes, they are directed by the Spirit in a ſpecial manner, to their former unnatural cruelty towards their brother Joſeph, committed about twenty years before, and they take this voice of conſcience as the voice of God, and faſten on that particular ſinne. v. 21. Therefore (ſay they) is this diſtreſſe come upon us. The ſoul will bleed afreſh (as dead bodies do) at the approach of that ſinne, which is guilty of occaſioning its ſpiritual trouble.
2. Ordinarily alſo (though it were not ſo in the caſe of Joſephs Brethren before mentioned, nor is it always ſo in the preſent caſe, with divers others, yet) I ſay, ordinarily, the ſinne that is moſt freſhly committed, before Gods with-drawing from the ſoul, is that which that affliction points at; and that (being laſt committed) is ordinarily alſo in the eye of Conſcience. Conſcience immediately after the fact committed, uſeth to bluſh, and thereby betrayes its guiltineſs, if it have not, by a frequent repetition of ſins, loſt all modeſty and ſhamefaſtneſſe altogether, and contracted an whores forehead, which a ſoul acquainted with God cannot eaſily do. If an Officer come in upon the ſudden after a murther is newly committed, 'tis no hard matter for him to find (in a throng) who did the Fact, by the freſh circumſtances which he cannot eaſily overlook. So (though all other ſins have an hand in this fact, yet) a man ſhall commonly obſerve in the ſins newly committed, ſome tokens and indications more then ordinary, which may provoke the ſoul immediately to lay hold upon them in an eſpecial manner, and indict them for the Fact.
(3) Examine what ſin thou didſt (when (as yet) thou didſt walk in the light of Gods countenance) moſt fear and ſuſpect, as laying wait for the life of thy Aſſurance. Commonly the Saints obſerve in themſelves ſome one conſtitution-ſin, or other darling corruption, which at all times they find themſelves moſt inclined to, and that ſin (if they manage their comforts as they ought) they ſet a ſpecial guard upon, as ſuſpecting it more then ordinary, Pſal. 18. 23. Now if it chance at any time that this guard be ſlackned, it is ten to one if a backſliding into that ſin do not murther their ſpiritual peace. And if ſo, 'tis no hard matter to find it guilty of the fact by ſtrong circumſtances and probabilities, if not by certain and convincing Evidences; becauſe God puts a ſpecial Mark upon ſuch ſins, as enemies to the peace of his Saints. Pſal. 85. 8. God will ſpeak peace to his people, but (then) let them not turn again to folly; let them take heed of Apoſtatizing and falling back to their former maſter ſins; q. d. if they do, they will quickly loſe their peace againe. I kept my ſelf (ſaith David) from mine iniquity, that ſin which I was peculiarly prone to.
Now this is a good rational and probable ground of proceeding againſt ſuch a ſin, that there are ſuch ſuſpicious againſt it. If a murther be ſecretly committed, and the Authour of the Fact not preſently apparent, yet if from certain evidence it can be gathered that ſuch a perſon threatned him often, and laid in wait to take away his life formerly, and the murthered party had a conſtant jealouſie of him, it is as great evidence as circumſtances can make, that ſuch a perſon did the fact; and therefore the Judge will examine ſuch a perſon narrowly, where he was when the Fact was committed; and if he cannot give a probable account of his diſtance from the place at that time, 'twil go hard with him. Now take thou the ſame courſe: Some ſin or other hath taken away the life of thy ſoul, which is the comfortable preſence of God, Pſalm 30. 5. If thou canſt not find the murthering ſin preſently, and upon the place; then examine that ſin which hath often threatned it, and hath watched frequent opportunities to do it, and enquire whether that ſin were ſo far from thee about the time of Gods departure, as may excuſe it from the ſuſpicion of the Fact: and if not, but that thou haſt (at leaſt in thy heart) near that time, taken acquaintance with it again, there needs no farther evidence. Take it and crucifie it.
(4) Poſſibly it may be a ſin of ordinary incurſion, which thou haſt been moſt ſecure of, and madeſt (ordinarily) the leaſt account of, when thou haſt at any time fallen into it. Sometimes, whiles a Saint watcheth diligently againſt the incurſions of greater ſins, or ſuch as are more ſuſpicious to him, ſome ſin that he makes little account of, lyes lurking in the throng to do him a miſchief, like the Adden in the path (as Dan is deſcribed) Gen. 49. 19. biting the horſe heels, ſo that the Rider falleth backward. Now the truth is, no ſin is ſmal in it ſelf, and a ſmal ſin (in compariſon) frequently admitted, either by wilfulneſſe or ſecurity, may (like a little thief) as well ſteal away ſuch a Jewel as thy ſpiritual Aſſurance is, as a greater; nay, becauſe thou thinkeſt it ſmal, it thereby becomes great by cuſtomary commiſſion. It may be thou haſt not repented for it in particular (though often fallen into) as thou haſt of others; and that hath made thee ſo eaſie to admit it again into thy heart of late, that now it is growne a familiar ſin, and thou beginneſt to regard it in thy heart. It need not amaze thee, if (in this caſe) God withdraw the light of his countenance from thee; and that ſmal ſin may do thee that miſchief, which a greater (of which thou art more jealous) cannot. As a Pick-purſe in the habit of a Gentlewoman, is leaſt ſuſpected in a Fair, and can more ſecurely ſteal, then in ragged beggarly accoutrements. That ſin which is moſt unlikely may do it the more eaſily, becauſe it is ſo unlikely.