The Spirit of Bondage and Adoption, Treatise 1 · Chapter 23
CHAP. XXIII. Such are exhorted to endeavour to recover thoſe loſt impreſsions. A Queſtion diſcuſſed hereupon, and Objections anſwered.
2. A Second Duty incumbent upon ſuch perſons, is to labour to reduce again thoſe loſt impreſſions of the Spirit of Bondage. I confeſſe, it is a very hard matter to recover a ſpirit of conviction and compunction again, when it is once loſt; yet it may be had, the ſoul being firſt made deeply ſenſible (as was before required) of the evil and danger of checking and loſing it, and following God in all his Ordinances conſcienciouſly for its recovery. But truly, 'tis a very rare thing, without very extraordinary Grace, for ſuch impreſſions to be (at leaſt effectually) renewed. As in dangerous relapſes, nature having made many attempts to caſt out her enemy, and failing, is ordinarily ſo wearyed out, that it is an extreme difficult thing to apply any Phyſick ſtrong enough to conquer the diſeaſe, and yet not too ſtrong for nature to manage; and therefore it requires the more labor with our hearts to effect.
Object. If thou object; But Sir, theſe remedies are in vain preſcribed to me, who, if I could do theſe things, ſhould have no need to complain of the diſeaſe, ſeeing the very cure conſiſts in being able to apply ſuch means to effect it. If I could be ſenſible of this ſin, and be humbled deeply for it, and wait upon means as I ought, my heart would be no longer ſuch as you ſpeak of; I complain of an hard heart, and an impenitent heart, and you ſeem to bid me get a penitent heart, that I may get a penitent heart. And this ſeems abſurd.
Anſw. 1. It may be, this very caſe ſeriouſly taken into conſideration, will affect the heart when no other thing will. And we find it by the experience of Gods called ones, that they find nothing more uſual, then to be moſt ſenſible of their own hardneſſe and inſenſibleneſſe. And 'tis ſo, becauſe hardneſſe of heart is not only a ſin but a judgment. Now ſenſe of judgment may bring ſenſe of ſin. I adviſe thee therefore to be ſenſible of it as a judgment, that thou maiſt be made ſenſible of it in time as a ſin.
2 To one in thy condition this is the great and maſter ſin, and by conſequence, the moſt dangerous wound of thy ſoul, and therefore 'tis moſt ſutable and likely to be ſucceſſeful, to begin the work of ſorrow and humiliation at that ſin. As in a complication of many Diſeaſes in a Patient, the Phyſician thinks it moſt proper to apply himſelf to the Maſter-Diſtemper primarily and principally, and the reſt will abate with it, they being but Symptomatical.
3. When I bid thee labour for a ſpirit deeply affected with this ſinne, and to endeavor to reduce thy ſelfe to thy former convictions thereby, I purpoſely preſcribe this courſe; Becauſe I know if thou canſt attaine an heart ſenſible of its own reſiſtance to the Spirit of grace, &c. thou art ſo farre recovered. And this advantage is peculiar to this condition, that to be affected with it, is to be recovered out of it. And this is a great encouragement to labour for this frame of ſpirit. As one ſin begets another, ſo humiliation for one, will beget humiliation for all; for the ſame tenderneſſe which renders the heart capable of the impreſſion of godly ſorrow for one ſin, renders it as penetrable by others.
4. When I bid thee labour to recover thy former tenderneſſe, I mean not, as if I would have thee reduce thy ſelfe thereunto by a power in thy ſelfe, but by addreſſing thy ſelfe to God by importunate prayer, to take away that reſiſtance, hardneſs, and impenitency of thy heart, which ſo frequently repulſeth the Spirit of God, and rejecteth its own ſalvation. Go to God▪ and ſay, Lord, I have an hard heart, an heart that cannot repent; (according to promiſe) give me an heart of fleſh, &c.
Obj. But I have a great deal of joy and peace, and the courſe you adviſe to, will put all out of order again.
Anſ. 1. I have told thee before, that tis better to break an unſound peace of conſcience here, then to continue it all our lives, till Death and Hell breake it whether wee will or no. Eſpecially, ſeeing,
2. The breaking of this falſe peace is a way to recover a true and ſound peace. Then wee are towards a peace with God, when we fall out with our ſelves and our ſins. When we combine againſt his enemies, in that work he is engaged to aſſiſt us, and if we be once abſolutely broken from them, and engaged to the deſtruction of them, ipſo facto, we become his confederates.
Obj. But I have had a great name for Religion, and have borne my ſelfe high upon my comfortable attainements and enjoyments, and I cannot bring my ſelfe to be willing to take the ſhame of a confeſſion, that I have beene beguiled my ſelfe, and deluded others.
Anſw. Therefore tis likely thy acknowledgements will do thee more good, as (on the other ſide) thy example in going on in ſo deluſive a way, will do far more hurt. Peters diſſimulation drew many to diſſemble alſo. Gal. 2. When eminent profeſſors, profeſſe glorious diſcoveryes in a way of defiance to Miniſtery and Ordinances, no wonder if divers, minorum Gentium, (ambition being natural to men) will either affirm the ſame things, that they may not ſeeme inferiour to them; or elſe be apt to believe ſuch things attainable. Thus I remember in Eraſmus there is a ſtory of a Popiſh Apparition, which when one had confidently affirmed that he ſaw, divers others in the company would needs profeſſe to ſee it too. So do deluded ſouls ſtrengthen one another til the juggle of Satan be diſcovered.
2. Here is thy glory and Gods put in the balance, and it is a great trial of thy ſincerity to ſee which thou wilt take. My ſonne, give glory to God, ſaith Joſhua to Achan; and ſo I to thee, Friend give glory to God: Let the pride of thy heart be abaſed, and thy high looks be brought low, that the Lord alone may be exalted. Iſa. 2. 17.
3. This is the way to thy own greater eſteem. Humble thy ſelfe, and the Lord will exalt thee in due time. Hereby wilt thou give to thoſe that are truly godly a firme proofe of thy ſincerity, and ſuch a return to them will ſpeak more then thy ſtay among them poſsibly would have done.
4. If God do not bring thee thus low now, he will hereafter. What is temporary ſhame, and contempt to everlaſting ſhame and contempt?
Obj. But God may ſave mee without this way, and I may be converted without the return of the ſpirit of Bondage.
Anſw. 1. No queſtion, by his royal prerogative he may do, (that which no earthly Prince may) act above, and contrary to his owne preſcribed rules when he pleaſeth. But
2. Tis unlikely that he will, and tis unuſually that he doth renew any man that is an Apoſtate from former convictions, without deeep humiliations. And indeed, if he ſhould, this would encourage convinced ſinners to caſt off their cords, and break the bonds of the ſpirit at their pleaſure. Theſe are grievous affronts to God himſelfe, and tis reaſon that he ſhould have reparations from us at our return to him. Now the only reparation in this kinde, is deep ſenſe, and humble, ſelfe-condemning acknowledgment of our ſin