The Danger of Being Almost a Christian, Chapter 8

The Danger of Being Almost a Christian · Chapter 8

p. 77CHAP. VIII. The Second Ʋſe which is of Examination.

USE 2. Give me leave (my friends) to make application of all that hah been ſaid unto you, for I have ſpoken this principally for your ſakes. Dos not this place begin to put on the face of Religion? you do not only profeſſe your ſelves to be Chriſtians, but many of you do believe that there is more in being a Chriſtian then a bare profeſſion, and that to be a Chriſtian is more then to be called a Chriſtian; you would pretend to be Chriſtians in the ſtricteſt ſenſe. Oh my friends, is it an honour to be called, and accounted a Chriſtian, and is it not much more an honour to be a Chriſtian? if there be any good in being a Chriſtian, then labour to be ſuch indeed, and if there be no good in being ſo, p. 78then do not pretend to be ſo; either labour to be what you would ſeem to be, or do not pretend to be what you deſire not to be; be chriſtians in truth, or be no Chriſtians in appearance. I know you cannot hear the things which have been ſpoken to you, without ſome convictions; you muſt confeſs that your conditions have been ript up, and by what hath been ſaid, if your hearts be not in a deep ſleep, you muſt needs be ſenſible that many of you are very far from being chriſtians, and the moſt of you are but almoſt chriſtians. Are theſe things of a ſlender conſideration? can you think that this is your condition, or ſuſpect it, and yet: be quiet? nay can you choſe but tremble to think what a dreadful thing it is to be but almoſt a chriſtian? ſome of you perhaps are convinc'd you are not almoſt Chriſtians yet, ſome that you are but almoſt, and ſome are ſo guilty, that you dare not put it upon the tryal, leaſt it ſhould be manifeſt that you are ſuch as the doctrine hath diſcovered. Some of you perhaps are like Gallio, you care for none of theſe things; you are reſolved to be quiet what ever the Miniſter ſays, not minding that there is a greater that condemns you then the Miniſter; if we could p. 79throw hel-fire about your ears, and ſcorch you with the heat of the Word, yet you would be quiet again ſo ſoon as you can get out of the ſight of the pulpit, and the ſound of the Miniſter; if we could cal for fire from Heaven, as Elijah did, 2 King. 1.19. Tel me, do not many of you ſit here in little eaſe? are you not ſometimes under much trouble, and under many convictions while you are under the word? but when you are out of the noiſe of that, you grow quiet again. Ah my friends, wil you never be ſerious, and in good earneſt? will you always be betwixt jeſt and earneſt? will you alwayes dally with convictions, and trifle with eternity? ſhall all that I have ſpoken to you from this Text be to no purpoſe? ſhall I conclude, that the Lord raiſed me up in judgement to be a witneſſe againſt you? Pray give me leave to reaſon with you a little, and oh that the things which have been delivered to you, were written upon your hearts, that I could but make you ſenſible of the danger of that condition in which many of you are. Oh that I could ſo affect my own heart, and yours in this thing, that thoſe words which Francis Spira breathed out p. 80in his agony, might be ever ſounding in our ears; It is a fearful thing to be almoſt a Chriſtian. I beſeech you brethren enquire concerning your conditions, and compare your ſelves with the word which hath been preach'd. Gather up thoſe convictions which you have met withall in this diſcourſe, and ſee what anſwer you can make to the Inditements which your conſciences have drawn up againſt you from it.

If conſcience have not acted its part hitherto, let it do it now. Begin and judge your ſelves, that you be not judged of the Lord. Better it is to judge your ſelves, and lie in the duſt, then to be judged of God, and caſt into hel-fire. I would intreat all you that have at any time attempted any reformation, and pretended to a change: to conſider ſeriouſly of this thing. Are there not ſome here, who have been under great convictions of the evil of your conditions, and when theſe vvere ſtrong upon you, you made great promiſes of reforming, and of being new men. Nay, you could not conceal this, but others have taken notice of it, good people took notice of it, and they had great hopes; and wicked men took notice of it, and perhaps for preſent were ſtartled at it; but have they not ſince ſaid loe, ſee what is become of ſuch a mans reformation, p. 81the man is become like one of us again. I am confident here are thoſe amongſt us who will be ſtung to purpoſe, when they come upon their death-beds, when they do but look back, and conſider what convictions they had, what promiſes they have made, what profeſſion they have taken up for a time, and how neer they came to be Chriſtians, and how they have fallen away from their profeſſion, and are fallen to their wicked practiſes again in private, yea and ſometimes to plead for theſe evils of vvhichwhich they have been convinc'd.

Others of you that have not fallen back ſo viſibly, yet how have you ſtood ſtil, and ſhamed the hopes of Gods people, who have expected greater things from you, then they ſee, or find! It may be ſaid of ſome of you, as it was of the Galathians, ye did run wel, who did hinder you? you ſeemed to begin in the ſpirit, but wil you end in the fleſh? you did run at firſt ſetting forth, and you were very ſenſible, and ſeemed very ſerious, but now you ſlack your pace. Is there leſſe evil in ſin now, then vvhen your eyes vvere firſt opened? you could then roar and cry, oh the evil of ſin, oh my Drunkenneſſe, my company-keeping, my Carding and p. 82Dicing; theſe were bitter things; but are theſe things leſs evil now then they were? I am ſure ſome of you have other thoughts of theſe then you had; is there leſs need of Chriſt now then in former days? or are you leſs ſenſible of it? is there leſs need of zeal for Gods glory now then before, and of circumſpection in your walking? is the ſociety of the people of God leſſe profitable, or leſſe deſirable then it was, that ſome of you vvho ſeemed to deſire opportunities of getting acquaintance with them, are at a ſtand? Look into theſe things, and tel me whether theſe things do not ſpeak ſadly of many of you, that you were once almoſt Chriſtians, and are now gone back, and others are but almoſt Chriſtians, and therefore ſtand at a ſtay, if you do not decline? Oh that I could perſwade you to pluck off thoſe Figg-leaves with which you cover your ſelves, and ſee the nakedneſſe of your ſouls, acknowledge it, and come to Chriſt for white rayment, that your nakedneſſe do not appeare; that profeſſion which you cover your ſelves vvithall now, will be your ſhame at the laſt day.

p. 83But here wil ariſe a great queſtion; How ſhall I know whether I am a Chriſtian in good earneſt or not, whether I am altogether a Chriſtian? Now, you will ſay this muſt needs be hard to reſolve, becauſe we ſin all, and every one hath ſome defects or other, and will have til we are perfected. How ſhall we be able to diſtingiſh betwixt the defects of a true Chriſtian, and one that is but almoſt a chriſtian?

Anſ. A ſounde chriſtian commonly fayls in the manner of performing duties, but he that is but a chriſtian in part fails in the matter; the firſt fayls in the circumſtantials; the ſecond in the Subſtantials of duty. A ſound chriſtian performes every duty made knowen to him, the other picks and chooſes his duties, ſuch as are eaſieſt or moſt profitable or moſt in faſhion, or ſuch as are beſt accommodated to his own parts or abilities. He takes up ſome, and leaves out others; but a ſound chriſtian takes up every duty, embraces all the commands of God, with equall reſpect, not having any reſpect to thoſe things which guide the other is his profeſſion and practice; The one wil performe publique duties, becauſe he can make his advantage of them; there is an honour or a profit attending them, p. 84but he neglects private duties, becauſe he can make no advantage of that which no man ſees. Or if hee doe performe private duties of prayer, and reading, yet he omits the examination of his heart, and the watching over his thoughts, and the mortifying of his ſecrett corruptions, becauſe theſe things are hard, and the other are more eaſie. Beſides amongſt his publick duties he performes ſome becauſe they do make moſt for the diſcovering of his abilities, as a man that hath a gift in prayer, or in opening the word, may do much in them not for the love of the duties, but out of a deſire to exerciſe his owne parts: But he that is indeed a chriſtian will do all that is commanded; though it be a duty which is not fitted to his advantages, nor to w^ch he is not ſitted by naturall accompliſhments, yet he wil do it willingly and cheerfully, though he can do it but weakly, this was Davids frame Pſal 119.6. Then ſhall I not be aſhamed when I have reſpect unto all thy commandments.

Now I beſeech you conſider this. Are there not here thoſe who do pick and chooſe their duties, and that live in the conſtant (nay total) neglect of ſuch duties, as they are convinct of? With what face can you lay claim to an intereſt in Chriſt, & cal p. 85your ſelves chriſtians? How many are there here that will take up ſome duties that are in faſhion, and yet will neglect others that have a little ſelfe denyal annext unto them? Can you be diſciples of Chriſt without following Chriſt, nay can you be diſciples without following him with your croſſes upon your backs? Mat. 16.24. Do not flatter and deceive your ſelves, it is not every one that cryes Lord, Lord; it is not every one that calls himſelfe a Chriſtian that will be found a chriſtian at the laſt day; that which will paſs you for a Chriſtian amongſt men; wil not do it before the Lord, who judges not with mans judgment. The Lord is impartiall in judgeing; and if you be not ſo in your profeſſion, & in your obedience, be ſure of it, the Lord will put a difference betwixt you and thoſe that fear his name.

2. Though all do fayle partly in the matter, and partly in manner of performing duties, yet a ſincere Chriſtian labours to finde out his defects, and to be humbled for them; but the halfe Chriſtian either ſees or conſiders them not, and therefore is quiet under them. A gracious ſoul is much in prying into its owne miſcarriages, both in its omiſſious, what duty hasbin neglected & p. 86into its weakneſſes; what neglect hath bin in the duties, what grace was wanting, or what was weake in it, and ſo one duty riſes out of the aſhes of another. But the other takes noe notice of thoſe things, but contents himſelf when he has done the duty, and is glad that his task is over, even as one rejoyces that he is come to his journeys end; the one ſees a reaſon to pray again, when he hath been at prayer, to begg pardon for the ſins of his prayers; but the other ſees no ſuch thing; the language of a carnall heart after any dutie (however it be done) is nothing but this Now ſoul take thy eaſe. Oh now tel me, be there not many that live in the neglect of duties, publick, and private, family and cloſet duties, and yet you are quiet under them? this is ſad evidence that you are of theſe halfe chriſtians. If you were truly humbled, ii were impoſſible that you ſhould pleaſe your ſelves in ſuch a poſture; it is impoſſible for a man or woman to continue reſolvedly in that for which he is truely humbled: that which thou groaneſt under, thou wilt labour to lay downe and if thou art not humbled under thy defects, thou art no Chriſtan; Remember and conſider it all you that hear me this day, it is a thing in conſiſtent with the truth of chriſtianitie for a man to live in p. 87a willing, quiet, conſtant neglect of any known duty. The beſt Chriſtian may be be put by the performance of his known duty: by the ſtrength of ſome temptation for a time; but to perſiſt in this, to make this his conſtant practice, and quiet himſelf in it, is a notorious proof of a half Chriſtian. But this let me ſay to you, vvho are complaining of your failings in duty, and are deeply ſenſible of your wandrings, and weakneſſe, and your ſouls are afflicted for them, and you are filled from hence with humble thoughts of your ſelves; God vvil put a difference betwixt your defects, and other mens. Be of good comfort, you ſhal not be reckoned amongſt theſe halters, and halfers in the vvorſhip of God; you that make this daily uſe of the imperfections of your duties to lie lovv, and humble before the Lord, ſhall never be charged vvith them in the vvorld to come. And you that can neither think well, nor ſpeak wel of your ſelves in what you do, you ſhal have this honor, & this comfort, to hear wel of God, and ſhal have this teſtimony, that you have pleaſed him, when you ſhal have the great ſeal of Gods approbation ſet upon your weak, but ſincere obedience, Well done you good and faithful ſervant.

p. 88He that is but almost a Christian is unwilling to find out his duty, though he dare not live out of the practice of it, being convinc'd; but he that is altogether a Chriſtian, does not onelyonly live in the practice of what he knows, but is greedy to know what he ought to practiſe. It is not ſo much the living up to what we know, as the deſire to know how we ſhould live, that does evidence a man to be a ſound and impartial chriſtian. It is poſſible to find a man that neglects no known duty, and yet is but half a Chriſtian, for conſcience may be ſo awakened, that a man may not dare to neglect any thing which he is convinc'd he ought to do, being known he muſt practice it, for his peace ſake; but this man is not willing to know his duty, he wil not take it up til it be clearly brought home to him, he wil not ſeek for it, and hunt after it, he wil ſtop his ears and eys as long as he can, but when he can withſtand the hints, and intimations, and convictions no longer, then he cannot but take it up: but he that is a true Chriſtian does not onelyonly practiſe what he knows, but he deſires to know that he may practiſe; he ſeeks out for his duty, which a hypocrite wil not do; the hypocrite ſeeks for his peace in the performance of duty, but the godly man p. 89ſeeks out for his duty; if he have the leaſt hint in the Word of any duty which he hath been ignorant of, he cannot be quiet til he be ſatisfied about it, til he hath found it out. The other does not more greedily ſuck in comfort and notious tending that way, then he dos information of duty and directions about it.

Now let me tel you the difference between thoſe two ſorts of perſons is not more eminently diſcerned in any thing then in this I am ſpeaking unto. For the higheſt pitch that ſuch a man can come to who is not fully a Chriſtian, is this, that he may live in the practiſe of every known duty, yet here he is diſtinguiſhed from a ſound, hearty, ſubſtantial Chriſtian; there is in him an unwillingneſs to be informed, and convinced of his duty. There does remain in every unregenerate man, (and is the ſureſt mark of unregeneracy,) an unwilingneſs to come to the light, leaſt their deeds ſhould be diſcovered. Natural conſcience, and legal working wil make a man follow the light when once it hath found him out, but nothing but grace wil make a man love the light, and ſeek after the light to walk by it, John 3.20, 21. Give me leave to commend this particular to your conſideration, p. 90and take heed you be not deceived here. Here are ſome of you come to the Word, and perhaps God meets with you, and convinces you of a ſin, and you go away, and reſolve againſt it; nay perhaps you make conſcience of that ever after; again you are convinc'd of ſuch a duty, and go home, and take up ſome reſolutions to practice it, nay you cannot be quiet in the neglect of it, and you wil ſay, ſurely I am now a Chriſtian indeed, for I live in the Commiſſion of no known ſin, nor in the omiſſion of any known duty; do I lack any thing yet? this is enough for to make thee paſs for a true Chriſtian with others, but this doth not make thee ſo before the Lord, neither mayeſt thou conclude thy ſelf ſuch a one from all this; thou mayeſt be almoſt a Chriſtian all this while; for the maine thing may yet be wanting, which is, grace in the heart; thou mayeſt not neglect duty, and yet thou mayeſt not love thy duty; thou mayeſt not dare to diſobey the command, and yet thou mayeſt not delight in the commands of God; if thou haſt nothing but convictions and awakenings of conſcience, thou wilt never hunt after thy duty, ſeek abroad for it as Eſau hunted for the veniſon; thou perhaps, when it is brought home to thee, and preſt upon thee, wilt receive it as Jacob did the Kids fleſh upon his Mothers importunity. p. 91Oh tel me, are you not troubled when you meet with a conviction under the Word, and you ſtruggle againſt it, and would fain evade it; you would not willingly ſee your ſin, nor willingly ſee your duty. Nay, when you do meet with a conviction of either kind, your hearts do riſe againſt it, and you ſay in your ſelves, Oh that this were no ſin, that I might enjoy it quietly, or oh that there were no ſuch command to make this my duty; ſo that though you yeeld to the conviction, and walk by it, yet you are ſurprized by it; the duty finds out you, you do not find out that, nor go forth to meet it half way; this is a clear ſign you are not come fully up to cloſe with Chriſt; there is as great a difference betwixt you and one that is come fully to the termes of Chriſt, as there is betwixt green wood and dry; the greeneſt wood may be made to burn if it be put into the fire & much blown upon, but the dry wood takes fire preſently without the help of the bellows. A godly heart is like Tinder, the leaſt ſpark of conviction that falls upon it kindles it, he complies as readily with the word of conviction, as with the words of comfort; nay ordinarily catches hold of the former, and improves it more then the latter. Balam was ſo p. 92convinc'd of ſin, that he dares not go beyond the command of God; but his behaviour may prove, that the diſcoveries which God made to him, did not pleaſe him. But David dos not onelyonly follow a conviction, but loves it, and loves the means by which he was convinc'd, Pſalm 119.10, 11. With my whole heart have I ſought thee, O let me not wander from thy Commandements; thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not ſin againſt thee, Pſalm 19.11. David counted the word ſweet unto him, becauſe it gave him warning concerning ſin that he might avoid it, and becauſe it enlightned his eyes, and ſhewed him his duty that he might practice it, v. 8. Surely an hypocrite cannot love the word of God upon this account, theſe are not the breathings of unſound hearts; they ſay nor as he did, Pſalm 119.5. O that my ways wore directe…l to keep thy ſtatutes! They pray not as he did, Pſalm 119.27.33, 34, 36. Make me to underſtand the way of thy precepts: Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes: Give me underſtanding, and I ſhall keep thy law: Incline mine heart unto thy teſtimonies. They have not his affections, Pſalm 119.14, 16, 20, 72. I have rejoyced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches, I will delight my ſelf in thy ſtatutes: p. 93I wil not forget thy word, My ſoul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgements at all times. The law of thy mouth is better unto me then thouſands of gold and ſilver. Theſe are the great and infallible charecters of a heart fully complying with God, of one that is a Chriſtian, and Diſciple of Chriſt indeed; the man or woman that does thus is doubtleſs ſuch a one as David prayed he might be. Pſalm 119.80. his heart is ſound with God; but if it be otherwiſe with you, I tel you you are not yet the Diſciples of Chriſt, you do not follow him in that great thing, in which he is propoſed as our example (viz.) he did not onelyonly do his Fathers wil, but he counted it meat & drink to do ſo.

4. He that is a Chriſtian indeed, labours to be much more a Chriſtian then yet he is; he that is but almoſt a Chriſtian, contents himſelf with what he is, and thinks all is wel; and indeed this is a ſure diſcovery of both theſe. They who are altogether Chriſtians, I mean in reſpect of their perſwaſions and endeavours, account themſelves but half Chriſtians in reſpect of practice and attainment: But he that is but half a Chriſtian both in practice and in perſwaſion, accounts himſelf enough in both. I have heard this complaint fall p. 94from the mouth often of one of the eminenteſt chriſtians that ever I knew, I am but half a chriſtian. But I never hear you formalluke-warm profeſſors ſo judg of themſelves. Theſe are much in obſerving the difference betwixt them and others, rather then the diſproportion that is betwixt them and others, and that great example by which they are to walk, and that holy Law unto which they are to be conformed, whereas a true chriſtian is much in comparing himſelf with the Law of God, humbling himſelf for falling ſhort of that, and not applauding himſelf for that in which he ſeems to exceed others; now that you may the better judge of your ſelves by this tryal laid down, I ſhal help you a little by branching this Head into theſe four particulars; for there is none that wil ſeem guilty of this at firſt ſight, but wil ſay, I would be more a chriſtian then I am, and I wiſh I were better, and pray God make us all better, and yet ſuch perſons have a ſecret opinion of their condition that it is good enough, and they ſtrive not to be better: you ſhall know whether you do reckon your ſelves altogether chriſtians or not, by theſe four things.

p. 951. If the performance, ſome duties take thee off from the enquiry after others; thus it is wit ha half chriſtian, he makes one duty a vail to cover another, he makes one duty a blinde to another, and becauſe he does ſome things which others neglect, he thinks he does all that is required. Thus it was with the Phariſee, Luke 18.12. I thank God I am not as other men. And thus it was with Paul before converſion, Phil. 3.6. Touching the righteouſneſſe which is in the law blameleſſe. But a true chriſtian is careful that while he performs ſome duties, he does not neglect others, and he carries a jealouſie over himſelf ſtil, that he hath not found out the duties of every condition, and of every relation, he fears ſtil that ſomething of his duty is hîd from his eyes.

2. A man that thinks himſelf to be enough a chriſtian, does not onelyonly think that he doth enough, but he thinks he does every thing wel enough, he thinks that he is ſpiritual enough in duty; but the other labours to be more ſpiritual in what he does. So that he does not only deſire to abound in the matter of duty, but ſo excel in the manner of performing it.

p. 963. He that thinks himſelf enough a Chriſtian, looks not unto Jeſus Chriſt his pattern and example, but he looks to himſelf, and to others that are beneath him, and this confirms him in opinion of himſelf: and hence it is, that he is not humbled under his failings, but lifted up under his performances. But a true chriſtian that thinks himſelf but a piece of a chriſtian, and would be much more ſuch, is much in eying Chriſt, and is much in humbling himſelf for falling ſhort of him in every thing that he does. If he looks to men, it is to them that excel him in grace; but he looks more to Chriſt, then to all men living, as the Apoſtle did, Phil. 3.12, 13, 14. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I way apprehend that for which alſo I am apprehended of Chriſt. Brethren, I count not my ſelf to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting thoſe things that are behind, and reaching forth unto thoſe things which are before, I preſs toward the mark, for the price of the high calling of God in Chriſt Jeſus.

4. He that thinks himſelf enough a chriſtian, wil ſhew himſelf in this, he is not willing to receive any conviction from any one concerning his condition; he cannot p. 97beare with any one that will deal plainly with him, and call his condition into queſtion; he is ſhy of ſuch as are faithfull with him, and offended at any word that ſeemes to be preſt upon him; he thinks he does not deſerve it. But a ſound Chriſtian takes it kindly, when any deale faithfully with him, and he receives every reproof or conviction with much tenderneſs; nay he is not offended if any doe ſuſpect or feare his condition conſcientiouſly, though perhaps cauſleſly, and the reaſon why he can bear with the feares and jealouſies of others is becauſe he hath jealouſies of himſelf. By theſe things you ſhall try your own ſpirits whether you do account your ſelves enough Chriſtians. If upon inquiry you finde that you have this eſteeme of your ſelves, then know that you are no chriſtians indeed, and in truth. For he that is a chriſtian fully in perſwaſion, deſires ſtil to be more a chriſtian in practiſe; he is not and cannot be contented with what he is, nor with what he does, but labours as much to exceed himſelf, as the others doth labour to exceede others; he labours to have his laſt workes more then his former, where as the other contents himſelfe in running his rounde, & in doing to day, as yeſterday, and to morrow as this day.

p. 985. He that is but almoſt a chriſtian differs from a ſound in this: he wil follow God no farther then to get quiet of conſcience, the other follows God for holineſs. Now a deſire to pacifie a troubled conſcience may carry a man far; but a deſire to be holy wil carry a man much farther, and the reaſon is evident. Becauſe the one is a conſtrained motion, the other is free and voluntary. A man that is acted meerly by a deſire of peace, wil not go ſo far as he that is moved by an inward principle, becauſe he is not converſant in duty for the love of duty, but for the love of his peace, which if he miſs, he wil after a time caſt aſide the duty as vaine and unprofitable; or if he meet with it, he wil begin to be more remiſs in it, counting it needleſs to be ſo ſtrict, when he hath attained his ends. Again, ſuch a man wil limit himſelf in duty, that ſeeks nothing but his peace in it; he wil go no farther then he ſees he muſt go, or hazard his peace; and when he hath quieted his conſcience, by arriving at ſuch a meaſure of reformation, and by attaining to ſuch a degree of profeſſion, he then reſolves to ſit down, and ſays, All is wel. Every motion ceaſes in the attaining the end of it; ſo does this mans endeavour, when he hath gotten a little reſt to his p. 99ſpirit; but a man that follows God for holineſſe can never be ſatisfied with it; he cannot ſit down and ſay it is enough; for he can never have the fil of his deſire in this life; there is an infiniteneſs in the deſire of every renewed heart after God, and holineſs, which cannot be filled up til it come in Heaven. We have a very plain ſcripture for this, 1 John 3.23. Belov…d, now are we the ſons of God, and it doth not yet appeare what we ſhal be; but vve know that when he ſhal appeare, we ſhal be like him, for we ſhal ſee him as he is that hath this hope, purifies himſelf as God is pure; here is a ſure rule to judge of the truth of our deſires by. He that deſires holineſs unfaignedly and ſincerely, deſires it infinitely; but he that deſires it for ſomething elſe, deſires it but in a ſuch a degree as wil ſerve to reach ſuch an end as he propoſes to himſelf, if a man ſeeks it for his or edit in the world, then he ſeeks no more of it then is in credit with men. If he ſeek it for his peace, then he ſeeks it onelyonly ſo far as may ſerve to allay the heate of his conſcience, and to remove ſuch convictions that are upon him; and when this is done, he ſtrives no farther. What a man uſes as a meanes to another thing, which is the end, he ſeaſes to uſe p. 100when he hath attained that for which he uſed it; but what a man deſires ſimply for it ſelf, that he deſires ſtil, ſo long as it is abſent in any degree; this is one reaſon why covetous men are never ſatisfied with riches, becauſe they deſire them for themſelves. A covetous man makes riches his end, and he can never be ſatisfied unleſſe he had all. A godly man makes Gods glory his end, and uſes riches but as a meanes to this; ſo that if he have but enough to help him in this deſign, to attain his end of honouring God, he is ſatisfied; as good men ſeek riches and honours, ſo do wicked men ſeek grace and holineſs in their notions; they ſeek theſe as meanes to ſome other thing, they would have ſome grace, as much as would ſerve their turn to hold up their credit in the world, or to keep the worm of conſcience from gnawing now, or as much as they think will bring them to Heaven; but a little wil ſerve for the firſt, & they think a little wil ſerve for the laſt, and therefore they would not have much; they would not be too ſtrict, nor too preciſe to trouble the world, nor have people think that they are ſingular, yet they would be counted good Chriſtians; let me tel you as many of you as limit your ſelves, and ſet ſuch and p. 101ſuch bounds to your profeſſion and deſires, and think a meaſure of grace and holineſs is enough; you think you are good chriſtians as you need be, yea and as good as you deſire to be, it is manifeſt you do not make grace and holineſs your end, but you deſire it for ſomething elſe, it is but a meanes to ſome other thing, which you having attained, reſt in; if you did ſeek grace and holineſs for it ſelf, you could not poſſibly reſt in any degree of it which is attainable here; you would never ſit down and ſay you had enough, til you were holy, even as God is holy. If you did ſeek God aright in an ordinance, you would not onelyonly ſeek the knowledge of him, but conformity to him. A carnal heart may deſire the knowledge of God, but a regenerate ſeeks to have communion with him; the one would know the truth, but the other would experience it; one would not be ignorant of God, but the other he would not be without God, he makes it his buſineſs to enjoy God, and til he do ſo, nothing wil ſatisfie him.

But now leaſt I ſhould wound any poor doubting ſoul with that which was intended onelyonly to awaken you, and ſend ſuch a one away grieved from this ordinance, and ſtrengthen thoſe ſad concluſions p. 102which ſuch a one is to ready to draw againſt himſelf; I ſhal lay down a few things for the ſatisfaction of ſuch, which may ſtay their ſouls with ſome comfortable perſwaſion, that they are not the people intended in the convictions and reproofs which have been laid down in this Doctrine. Tel me then thou doubting ſoul who feareſt greatly concerning thy condition, and art jealous that thou art but almoſt a chriſtian, anſwer me the queſtion which I ſhal propound unto thee, and I truſt thou wilt be able to unty this knot which is upon thy ſpirit.

1. Art thou willing to know all the wil of God? is there in thee an impartial deſire to be acquainted with every command, and to have all the light to ſhine in thy face? Doeſt thou not deſire to ſhrowd thy ſelf under any cloud of darkneſſe and ignorance of the minde of God, nor to ſhift off any convictions of the truth, and of thy duty contained in it? if thou doen love the light, yea all the light, convincing as wel as comforting light, this ſpeaks comfortably to thee, as to a ſoul that is ſound in the ſtatutes of God.

2. Doeſt thou find thy heart complying with every command of God, when it is made known to thee? canſt thou ſay with p. 103David, that thou haſt reſpect to all his ways? art thou glad when thou getteſt more knowledge of ſin, that thou mayeſt eſcape it, and more light concerning thy duty, that thou mayeſt embrace it? this is a ſigne that the Law is written in thy heart, and thy heart wil not be removed from it.

3. Do thy endeavours witneſs the truth of thy deſires? art thou willing to uſe every means which God has appointed to bring thee to that end, which thou ſayeſt thou propoſeſt to thy ſelf? Many are full of wiſhes and wouldings; they will ſay We muſt be holy, and we muſt be thus and thus, and pray God we may be ſo, and pray God turn our hearts, but theſe are idle wiſhes, they are not accompanied with the uſe of every meanes which is appointed to this end. They would wiſh that God would make them ſuch and ſuch, but ſtil they continue in their ſhops, when they ſhould be in the publick Ordinances, or in private duties, and they link themſelves to ſuch company where they cannot expect ſuch things as they pretend to deſire. They neglect to joyn themſelves to the people of God, who might further ſuch deſignes; this is an argument their deſires are not deſignes, but pretences, p. 104but if thou doſt uſe… every meanes which God hath appointed as a furtherance of holineſs; this does teſtifie for thee that thy deſires after holineſs are true and unfeigned.

4. Doeſt thou deſire to exerciſe every grace as wel as to perform every duty? doſt thou endeavour to fil up thy duties with grace? this is the great diſcovery of a Chriſtian indeed, who does not content himſelf to performe duties in a ſlight and formal manner, but does labour to exerciſe that grace which is required in the duty, and does account this the ornament of duty, when much grace is exerciſed in it. He is not ſatisfied with parts and gifts, and the enlargement of theſe in prayer, meditation, or conference; but he looks to the frame of the heart, and rejoyces when he finds that ſet right for God Is this thy deſire, & thy great deſign in every duty? oh this may be a good evidence for thee that thou art a Chriſtian indeed.

5. Doſt thou bleſſe God ſimply for the change that is wrought upon thy ſoul? he that is a Chriſtian indeed rejoyces more in the change which is begun in his ſoul, then in any thing that is here below; he that hath been truly humbled for ſin, p. 105and grieved for that, rejoyces principally in ſanctification, and bleſſes God for that; he that was never truly humbled for ſin, can rejoyce, and thank God he is not as other men; but it is rather a boaſting, then a thankſgiving, he can rejoyce in the fruits of ſuch a change as is wrought in him; he comforts himſelf in this, that there are many worſe then he, and that people look upon him with another eye then they do other men; this he rejoyces in, becauſe it is for honour, but he rejoyces not ſimply in grace and holineſs; for then he would mourn for others who want it, and not exalt himſelf; he may rejoyce alſo becauſe he hath gotten a little quiet in his own ſpirit by the change which ſeems to be in him, and he ſays it is better now then in former times, yet he may not rejoyee ſimply becauſe he is changed, for then he would deſire to be more and more changed from grace to grace; but a true chriſtian rejoyce; in the beginnings of ſanctification without reſpect to any by conſiderations, or any advantages which may come to him by it. Tel me, do you rejoyce with the formaliſt becauſe your profeſſion has gotten you a little repute in the world, or a little quiet in, your conſciences? or do you rejoyce with the people of God, that you are p. 106more ſpiritual in duty, more humble, more mortified to the world, more like to God in every faculty of the ſoul, and moreenlarged to him in all your affections; this is the true and proper joy of Gods people; it is not peace, but purity that pleaſes them their comforts do increaſe but as their grace doth encreaſe; as they get more grace, ſo they get more joy, becauſe nothing comforts them but the renewing of their ſouls, according to the image of God in Chriſt Jeſus; now if this be the riſe of thy joy, this is a good witneſs for thee that thou art a chriſtian indeed.

6. Doeſt thou not reſt in that meaſure of grace which thou ſeemeſt to have, but laboureſt after an infinite holineſſe, to perfect holineſs in the fear of God? 2 Cor. 7.1. and to be holy as God is holy. If it be thus, thou art a chriſtian indeed, and thy hope which thou haſt for Heaven, is a true hope. 1 John 3.3. For he that hath this hope in him, purifieth himſelf as he is pure. He is not the trueſt Chriſtian that ſeemeth to have moſt, but he that really deſires, and deſignes for moſt; for the Lord meaſures us by theſe; the hungring chriſtian is the ſound chriſtian; therefore bleſſed, yea undoubtedly bleſſed are they that thus p. 107hunger and thirſt after righteouſneſs, who have a kind of infiniteneſs in their deſires after God and his holineſs, and can ſay truly that their deſires after this do exceed their deſires after all other things.

7. Canſt thou make thy appeals for thy principles, that they are ſpiritual as wel as thy actions? that thou art not moved by baſe, & low, and carnal intereſt in what thou doeſt, but it is the honour of God, the love of his ways and holineſſe that acts thee in thy general courſe? many may do much for God, and yet carry their own intereſt under it, as Jehu did; but if thy ends be for God as wel as thy actions, then thou art a Chriſtian altogether.

8. Canſt thou appeale to God for thy ſincerity before him? doeſt thou not look to men ſo much as to God in thy profeſſion, and labour to commend thy ſelf to them, but to God chiefly and mainly, and endeavoureſt in every thing to approve thy ſelf to him? If it be thus, then know, that though thou haſt many imperfections, and faileſt in every thing that thou doeſt, yet thou art altogether a Chriſtian; thou art perfect in the perfection of the goſpel, though not in the perfection of the Law. I may invert that ſaying of the Apoſtle, Philip. 8.15. p. 108He ſayes as many as are perfect are thus minded; I may ſay as many as are thus minded are perfect; this is the perfection which the Goſpel requires and accepts; but if you come not up to a goſpel-perfection, all your profeſſion and performances are in vain; for know that the goſpel requires its perfection as ſtrictly as the law did; only with this difference; the law required perfect obedience in act, the goſpel accepts ſincere obedience in act, and perfect in deſire and endeavour.