A Treatise of Conversion, Chapter 1 · Section 19
SECT. XIX.
3. THe next Affections, whose Change is discovered in the work of Conversion, is, their Delight and Sorrow: this is the next pair. An unconverted man doth naturally find no pleasure in God or spiritual things; for a fool hath no delight in understanding, Prov. 18. 2. It is fleshly lust and pleasure that they desire, Tit. 3. 3. And the pleasure of sin for a season, for which they part with the highest delight, Heb. 11. 25. They live in pleasures on earth, and fat themselves as for a day of slaughter, Jam. 5. 5. They account it pleasure to riot in the day light of the Gospel, in that day that is given for other kinds of works, 2 Pet. 2. 13. They not onelyonly do evil, but have pleasure in them that do it, Rom. 1. 32. These fools hate knowledge, and scorners delight in scorning, Prov. 1. 22. And if they have any delight in better things through a common work of Grace, it is but superficial fading delight, Isa. 58. 2. A rejoycing in the light for a season, Joh. 5. 35. but no sound well-grounded delight. But when converting Grace comes, it giveth a man those new delights which he knew not of before. Then the things that he before saw not, nor well believed, the things which he distasted and loathed, are in his delight: God himself is his delight, Psalm 37. 4. the doing of his will is their delight, Psalm 40. 8. His Law his Word, his Statutes are their delight, Psalm 1. 2. & 119. 24, 77, 16, 35, 47, 70. On the Lords day they delight in him, Isa. 58. 14. In the multitude of troubling perplexing thoughts, his comforts delight their souls, Psalm 94. 19. Their delgiht is in the Saints on earth, and those that excel in vertue, Psalm 16. 3. It is their meat and drink to draw nigh to God: it doth them good at the heart, when they can but be enlarged towards him, and have more light and life then before they had. These are the new delights of a converted soul. 1. He doth not part with all delight at his conversion; he doth but change a brutish and sensual delight, for such as are sit for a man and a Christian. The wicked think they shall never have a merry day again, if they should be thus changed; but he meets with more truly comfortable dayes, then ever he did before; Nay, he never knew what true comfort was till now. I know every poor Christian hath not that measure of these delights as some have: some are clouded with darkness and infirmities, and live much more sadly then others do: But yet the delight which they have in these things, is more then in the things which they before delighted in: It glads them when they can but see a beam of Heavenly light from the face of God: They have so much as sheweth the change that is made upon their souls.
The like we may say also of the sorrow of the unconverted, It is not the same that it was before. Before it went nearer their hearts to lose any pleasure or commodity in the world, or to be wronged or suffer any disgrace from men, or to suffer any want in their estates, or any pain in their bodies, then it did to lie under the wrath of God, and live as without him, and his favor in the world: they were truly such as Satan falsly reported Job to be; had you but touched them in their estates or bodies, they would have quickly shewed you what was next their hearts: but all the misery of their soul was no great trouble to them. A man would marvel, that knoweth what a miserable state that of sinful nature is, that so many thousands in the world can be void of Gods Image, strangers to the Spirit, and know no more of Christ but the very name, and yet be no more troubled at it: that they can bear such a weight of unpardoned sin as they do every day, and feel it no more: that they can live under the curse of Gods Righteous Law, and remain in daily danger of damnation, so that if they should die before conversion, they are lost for ever, and yet be no more troubled at it: But alas, they are blind and see not the case that they are in; they are dead and stupid, and therefore feel it not: It is the nature of their miserable condition to make them so; they are more troubled for a worldly trifle, then for all these things of everlasting Consequence. But it is far otherwise with the converted soul: One doubt of the love of God is more grievous to them, then to doubt of their worldly happiness: The remnant of their mortified sins, is heavier on their soul, then the mountains of unmortified sin was to them before; they send out more groans and cryes to God because of their daily failings and infirmities, then they did before for all their iniquity: the utter gracelesness of their hearts was then not so grievous to them, as the weakness of their graces now. He never before knew what it was to have the least spiritual communion with God, and yet he bare it lightly: Now the miss of it one day and in one duty, is more grievous to him. What need we prove this to you, when every gracious soul doth feel it, and the world about them may see it, that their sorrows are of another nature then they were before? Were they wont to lie in tears for sin, and mourn for Gods absence as now they do? Before they were sorrowful that they might not come to Heaven without such a course as would impoverish them in the world, Matth. 19. 22. Luke 18. 23. But now they are sorrowful that they can shake off the world and sin no better, and get ground of their corruptions no faster then they do. Object. Perhaps you will say, If conversion bring so much sorrow, is it not better be without it? Answ. No, for it is a willing sorrow; a necessary healing sorrow, that worketh Repentance to Salvation, not to be repented of, and not the sorrow of the world that causeth death, 2 Cor. 7. 10. See there the blessed effects of it at large, 2 Cor. 7. 9, 10. It is a sorrow mixed with greater joy: for we are as sorrow that will quickly be forgotten: for God hath promised himself to wipe away all tears from our eyes, Revel. 7. 17. & 21. 4. It is a sorrow of Gods own giving, and therefore it cannot chuse but be good, for God giveth not evil: It is a sorrow preparing for everlasting Joy: and he that hath called us to it, hath foretold us, Joh. 16. 20. that we shall be sorrowfull, but our sorrow shall be turned into Joy, which none shall take from us: we shall weep and lament, and the world shall rejoyce; But mark the end, who it is that will be sorrowful, or joyful then: Mark the upright man, and behold the just, for the end of that man is peace, Psalm 37. 37. What wise man will refuse so short a sorrow for so long a joy? Who that is well in his wits, will chuse rather to die of his sore, then to indure the smart of the Lances to open it? Nay, there is an Ingenuity in a converted soul, which makes it in a kind of holy Revenge, even be willing to taste somewhat of the smart of his own folly: He sees that it was himself that caused it, and brought all this upon himself, and the desert of a thousand times more, and therefore he even chuseth in some measure to afflict his soul, and doth not thrust away sorrow from him, as before he was wont to do.