A Treatise of Conversion, Chapter 1 · Section 16 – Section 17
SECT. XVI.
4. HAving spoken of the third part of the Conversion of the heart, which consisteth in the right choice of the Means to Salvation. I proceed to the fourth, which consisteth in the through resolving of the yet wavering and unsetled soul. I make not this a part in it self different from all that are before mentioned, but the very life and perfection of them, especially of the two last. Some kind of willingness and unfound consent there may be in the half-converted; and many times it is long after the beginning of this change before it reach to a sound Resolution; but it is never a saving work of special Grace indeed, and proper to the Saints till then. Men may have many convictions, and be brought to engage themselves in covenant to God, and yet for want of this true Resolution, their hearts may not be right with God, nor they be stedfast in his covenant, Psal. 78. 37. We are sutors for Christ to a backward and obstinate generation of men; we are long perswading them before they will yield, and when they seem to yield, they are long in the beginning, deliberating and wavering before they will Resolve. Sometimes God turneth the heart more suddenly at a Sermon: but ordinarily, for ought I can find, men stick long under conviction and half-purposes before they are thus converted: when they see that all is not well with them, and that they are not in a safe condition to appear before God at judgement in, and that they have not taken the right course that Christian wisdom required them to take, they feel then within them many perswadings of the Spirit of God, and their conscience reasoning the case with them, and saying, [This life will not serve thy turn long, if death find thee in this condition, thou art an undone man: away then with thy negligence and idle company and courses, and set thy self to seek after Christ before it be too late] and under these perswasions the mind is sometimes purposed to do it: but these purposes are, either for the time to come, that hereafter they will be new men; or else they are but half-purposes, that reach not to a Resolution: and therefore if at present they make some kind of change, it is but by the halves; and they usually turn back again: this is the case of the best men ordinarily before Conversion.
But when Conversion comes, it turns over the mind unfeignedly to God; it brings the soul beyond its former waverings: it shews men that there is no other remedy, the things is of necessity, and that all is but vanity that can be said against it, and no good reason can be given to take any wise man off from the work of Repentance, and a heavenly life, and therefore he is Resolved, that this shall be his way. He hath considered and found for certain that theres no true felicity but in the favor of God, and that his love and promised glory is everlasting, and all things else are vain and transitory, and therefore he is Resolved that God shall be his portion, and nothing but God: Heaven shall be the end of his desire and labor, and nothing but Heaven: He hath also considered that, there's no pardon of sin but by the blood of Christ, and no hope of Salvation but by cleaving to him and yielding to his renewing Spirit, and therefore he is now Resolved, that Christ shall have his heart, and his Spirit shall do its work, and that the Word of God hereafter shall be his Rule: he is now determined to know nothing but Christ crucifyed, 1 Cor. 2. 2. Before he was like a man that was weighing somewhat in the scales, and the other end was the heavier, or the scales stood as it were even: But now the Holy Ghost hath brought in those Arguments, and set them home on the conscience with that life that hath turned the scales. Before he was like a man that had lost his way, and standeth still, considering whether he shall turn back or not, or whether he shall go this way or that; But now he is Resolved, and he stands no longer considering, but turns without any more ado: and this Resolution is not rash or ungrounded, but having considered what can be said for God and for the world; for sin and for Repentance, and considering what he may meet with in the way to Heaven, he resolveth whatsoever it cost him, Repent he will, Return he will, for saved he must be: Though he meet with hard dealing from the world, there is no remedy, he will go through it: Though he may suffer much in the flesh, yet that shall not take him off: Though he know he must leave his former pleasure, and wicked company, and live that life that the flesh doth abhor, yet all this shall not take him off. Oh what a pleading and reasoning there is commonly between the flesh and the spirit before the heart will be thus Resolved. As it was with Caracciolus the Marquess of Vicum, when his conscience bid him leave his Land and Friends and all for Christ, to forsake Popery, and betake himself to these countreys, where he might enjoy the Gospel: His house and lands then came in his eyes, what, must I leave all these for meer conscience, and live I know not how? His wife hangs upon him, his children with tears do cry after him: Oh Father leave us not: and many a sob and sigh it costs his heart before he could Resolve to get away. And as it was with many of the Martyrs when they were to dye for Christ and for his truth: Wife, and children, and friends follow them to fire, crying out, Oh turn, turn, and do not undo your selves and us: so that they had almost as much ado to overcome that temptation, as to bear the flames. So is it with a sinner in the work of conversion: when he looks to Christ and everlasting Glory, and considereth withall that these cannot be obtained without the loss of earthly sinful pleasure; and when he thinketh of his old merry company and course, his ease and fleshly pleasure that he must leave; when he thinks of the strangeness of the way that he must now turn to, and how unacquainted he is with it, and how many bitter scorns, and worse, he is like to meet with; and how much care and pains it must cost him to be saved; this keepeth him sometimes at a stand, and breedeth in him many troublous thoughts, so that he scarce knows which way to turn him, or what to do: If he Repent and return to God, he must deny his flesh, and forsake all this world, and for ought he knows, have scarce any more of that kind of pleasure that he lived upon before, and if he do not do this, he must forsake God, and all hope of Everlasting Glory, and give up himself to eternal misery. This seemeth a very sad straight to one at the first; because he yet hath had no experience of the Joy of the Holy Ghost, and the higher comforts of a Christian life, nor of the help which God will afford him in his way: And therefore we cannot marvel if many a poor soul do here stick in the birth; and if it be long before they Resolve for God; and if others turn back and perish for ever, and Grace and onelyonly Grace will Resolve them. When Christ opens their eys effectually and to the purpose, he lets them see, that between Heaven and earth, God and the world, Grace and sin, there is no comparison. They see then, tis not a matter to doubt of, or to stick at: God must be pleased, but theres no necessity that the world or the flesh be pleased. Gods favor must be had, but we may live without the favor of the world: Death and Judgement must be provided for, but its needless to provide for the desires of the flesh: an hundred considerations come in upon his soul, which make him say, away with all these worldly Vanities, and welcome Christ and a holy life. Now he casteth off that weight that hangeth on him, and that sin that did so easily beset him, that he may run with Patience the Race that is before him, looking to Jesus the Author and Finisher of his Faith, who for the Joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despised the shame, and is sat down at the right hand of the Throne of God, Heb. 12. 1, 2. In a word, he is now throughly convinced, that one thing is necessary, and therefore be hath chosen the better part, which shall not be taken from him, Luke 10. 42. Oh Sirs, you are never truly converted till this Resolution of the soul: what ever good purposes you may have for the time to come, if you be not Resolved presently to return: I say, presently without delay, you are not yet truly converted to Christ, though you may verily think that the life of faith and holiness is the best life, and may have some mind to it, and purpose one of these dayes to return: Nay, though you may have some present purposes that are cold and faint, and come not up to the height of Resolution; and though you make some half trial hereafter, and change some of your company and your courses, all this is well, but it will not serve the turn without this Resolution. Many a man thats lost for ever, hath had many a good wish and purpose, and made some Assay to mend his life, and made some half reformation, and yet, being not resolved for Christ, they have perished. The very principal part of the work of saving Grace in the soul doth lye in this Resolution. Oh that the wavering, and the loitering and the delaying soul, would lay this well to heart. Oh that they understood this, who are convinced that they must return and be new men, and yet cannot be brought to present Resolution, but linger in their sins, as being loath to come away; as Lot did in Sodous, till God being merciful to him, caused the Angel to carry him out. Well, this is the next work of converting Grace. If ever you be converted, you will be Resolved for Christ.
SECT. XVII.
5. THe fift part of the work of Conversion in the heart, consisteth in the change that is made upon the Affections. Though these are not so Evident and Certain always to try a mans state by; and therefore I would have Christians try especially by the former, yet it is certain that conversion changeth these also: And because they are many, and I have been long in the Description of this work already, I will the more briefly run them over.
1. The first of the affections that appeareth in this change, are love and hatred. Before Conversion the heart loveth not spiritual things and waies; there's an Opposition to them, and enmity against them, Rom. 8. 5, 7. It loveth not inward holiness, no… a holy life; it loveth not the people that are holy: nay, it loveth not God himself as he is just and holy; yea, it hath an Inward loathing of him, and of his Image and way; though yet it be so deceitfull as perhaps not to know this much by it self. But on the contrary it loveth fleshly pleasure, and earthly profit, and vain glory, and ease, and honor of the world: for it onelyonly savoreth these kind of things, Rom. 8. 7. But conversion turneth a mans love and hatred, and maketh him love the Holy God, and those holy people and wayes that he could not heartily Love before: And it maketh him loath those sins, that he before loved. That this is so in all that are converted, is Evident from many texts of Scripture, Mat. 10. 37. He that loveth father or mother &c. Psal. 1. 2, 3. His delight is, in the Law of the Lord, and in his Law doth he … night. Psal. 15. 4. In his eys a vile person is con…, but he honoureth them that fear the Lord. 1 Joh. 3. 14. By … we may know that we are passed from death to life, because we love the Brethren: he that loveth not his brother abideth in death. They hated the light before, because it was against their deeds, but now they love it, and come to it, Joh. 3. 19, 20. The very evil actions that they do, they now hate, Rom. 7. 15. Yea, they hate even the garments spotted of the flesh. All that beareth the mark of a fleshly sensual course, Jude 23. Sirs, if you he truly converted, this change will be upon your affections.