A Christian Family Built by God, Section 1 – Section 4
SECT. 1:
Doctrine. HEre then is the Doctrine which (if God pleaſe) I ſhall open and apply unto you, that If we would have bleſſed Families, we muſt get them builded by God. Husband, wife, children, ſervants, muſt not be like rotten poſts, and as ſtraw, hay, ſtubble upon a good foundation; but muſt be builded by God: and the whole ſtate, and houſe muſt be finiſhed, and furniſhed by God. Nabal was the head of a Family, but a drunken Epicure; and ſo not builded by God. Jezabel was a main rib of the Family; but a painted and perſecuting harlot; and ſo not builded by God. Cain, Eſau, Adoniah, Abſolon, were Couplings in the Family, but a murtherer, profane, rebellious; and ſo not builded by God: Zihah was a tyle or rafter in the Family of Mephiboſheth, but a faithleſſe cheating ſervant; and ſo, not builded by God. Dives his houſe was furniſhed with great ſtore of wealth, but if he might go gay, and fare daintily, he regarded not the afflictions of Lazarus; and ſo not builded by God.
Ʋſe. Therefore be you (good Chriſtians) perſwaded to make God the Surveyour, Framer, Joyner; ſole workman in your Families, or elſe no comforting bleſſing comes. The ſpeech of Chriſt reacheth to every thing, without me ye can do nothing; Experience teacheth John 15. 5.thus much concerning Families. Abraham was built by God, and mark what God, ſaith, Gen. 18. 19.I know that my ſervant Abraham will teach his Family. Joſhuah was built by God, and mark what he ſaith, I and my houſe will ſerve the Joſh. 24. 15.Lord. Naomi was built by God, and mark her Ruth 1. 16. & 3. 1. Heſt. 4. 16. Gen. 24.faithfull care of Ruth. Heſter was built by God, and mark her ſpeech, I and my maids will faſt likewiſe. Eleazar was built by God, and mark his godly care in his maſters ſervice.
And if a whole Family be thus built; what a joint ſerving of God is there? Husbands, and wives are faithfull; ſervants are carefull; children are obedient; goods are bleſſed; and then we may ſay, as Paul, Greet the Church Rom. 16. 5.that is in thy houſe. Moſt complain (and they have too juſt cauſe) that husbands are drunkards and tyrants, wives are ſtubborn, children are diſorderly, ſervants are unfaithfull. More complain that there is little charity, much contention, many brawles, flouds of drunkenneſs, vollies of oathes. The reaſon of all is, becauſe they are not built by God. What ſhall I ſay then? ſuffer your ſelves to be builded by God. He will pull down the old ruinous building of ſinne. He will hew you with his own axe, his Word. He will lay you upon that good foundation, Chriſt. He will make you grow up into an holy building in the Lord, and then, the Lord builds the houſe, and your labour will not be in vain.
SECT. 2.
BUt to ſettle this upon you, your conſciences will enquire after two things.
1. What Gods building in a Family is?
2. How you may procure it?
1. Gods building is a well ordered Family by the Word of God. Here is the matter and form of it; and the Rule and ſquare by which it is wrought. The matter and form of it is a well ordered Family, that is, an orderly head, and orderly members having mutuall and fit relations either to others. An orderly head is the houſe governour, who can with good conſcience ſay, I will walk in Pſal. 101. 2.the uprightneſs of my heart in the middeſt of my houſe. There are many comely heads, but they are painted ones in reſpect of this, or like that in the Carvers ſhop which had neither wit nor brains. Orderly members are thoſe that depend upon the head, whether wife, children, or ſervants, that can ſay with a good conſcience as Ruth to Naomi, whether Ruth 1. 16.thou goeſt I will go, where thou lodgeſt I will lodge, thy people ſhall be my people, and thy God, my God.
The Rule and ſquare of this Family is The Word of God. Thorough wiſedome is an houſe Prov. 24. 3, 4.builded, and with understanding it is eſtabliſhed, and with knowledge ſhall the chambers be filled with riches. Queſt. What is this wiſedome? Anſw. Not that of the world, for that is fooliſhneſs: but that of the Word; for that iſſues from the 1 Cor. 1. 30.wiſedome of the Father; who is made wiſedome unto us. And wonder not at this; becauſe in the Word is contained neceſſary and abſolute direction for all in a Family; in which reſpect we may ſay, I adore the fulneſs of the Scripture. Yea, the word directs Plenitudinem ſcripturae adoro.not onelyonly, but moulds and ſhapes every perſon for his imployment. We are like crooked and knotty trees by nature: but then comes the Word and ſmoothes us for houſwork. Therefore we are very fools when we forſake this Word, which is ſo helpfull. In matters of private worſhip men are ſquared by theit minds, and cuſtomes of forefathers: In matters of Converſation, by examples of men, and practiſe of moſt: In Apparel, by faſhion, be they never ſo diſguiſed: In meat and drink, by appetite: In Recreation, by company: In Traffique, by profit; In gathering Riches, by the horſ-leaches of deſires: In their whole government by carnal and worldly policy.
SECT. 3.
Queſt. YOu will ſay, May I not uſe policy to eſtabliſh a good order in my Family? Anſw. Yes, as you ſee in the good houſewife, deſcribed Prov. 31. 15, 16. 2 Chron. 27.by Bathſhebah; and in David, who had one Officer over his treaſures, another over labourers, another over Vineyards, another over Wine, another over Olives, another over Oyle, another over Cattell; and in Nehemiah, who had Officers that prepared Neh. 5. 18.dayly an Oxe, ſheep and birds for him, and his retinue: Alſo in Solomon who eſtabliſhed 1 King. 4. 22, 27, 28.care for diet, order for his attendants by moneths. Hence when the Queen of Shebah ſaw the meat of his table, the ſitting of his ſervants, the order of his ſervitors, and their apparel, ſhe admired it. O for ſuch policy! Yet take heed of Carnall policy which fights with Gods Word. Therefore obſerve foure rules.
1. Policy muſt not prejudice the honour of God, as Davids did, when he was before Achiſh, and ſlavered, and carried himſelf like a fool to the diſhonour of him that choſe him King.
2. Policy muſt not ptejudice the truth of a good Conſcience, as Rachels did, when ſhe had hid her fathers gods in the Camels litter. Take heed of faining or lying; Conſcience will cry.
3. Policy muſt not prejudice that juſtice which is due to man. Ye know Davids policy to cover his baſeneſs with Bathſhebah, and how it fell heavy upon Ʋriah. Such policies are not ſtrange to us to build our neſts with injuſtice, and to make the moſt of our own, whoſoever pinch; but take heed.
4. Policy muſt not ſtretch further then our callings. In every policy for the building of your houſe, you muſt make a double enquiry: Firſt into the thing to be done, whether it be lawfull, or unlawfull: next into your ſelves, whether agreeable to your calings wherein ye muſt abide. If your policy go 1 Cor. 7.beyond theſe rules, it is carnal, and ſenſual. Therefore remember them; yet ſo ſtill, as the Word of God be your rule, and ſquare of all your intendments, and executions.
SECT. 4.
2. VVE come to the next point, namely, how you may procure Gods building in your Families? Follow God's metaphor ſtill: from plain things it will be made plain unto you, It is God's building: and if you would have it, you muſt have four things:
1. God's timber and framing of it.
2. God's ſetting up of it.
3. God's finiſhing of it.
4. God's furniſhing of it.
1. God's Timber. As when Solomon was to build the Temple, he had his timber, Cedar trees, and Fir trees from Lebanon: ſo God muſt have ſingle perſons, who are fit to grow up into a building. Of theſe he ſaith in general, If they cannot abſtain they muſt marry, 1 Cor. 7. 9.for it is better to marry then to burn: Marriage in itſelf is a thing indifferent; but by Gods Ordinance it is farr better then ſingle life.
1. It was ordained in Paradiſe before the fall: As then innocency is better then corruption; ſo is that eſtate which God appointed for it.
2, It was ordained upon ſerious conſultation Gen. 2. 18.of the bleſſed Trinitie; let us make an helper meet for man: therefore it muſt come as an high bleſſing, and priviledge.
3. God gave a large bleſſing to this eſtate, ſaying, Encreaſe and multiply, that it might be Gen. 2.a Fountain, and Seminary of all other kinds of life in Family, Church, and Commonwealth.
Therefore if man had continued in Innocencie, ſingle life had been nothing worth. Yea, as the Jewes ſaid proverbially, Nothing Wiemſe.is good but a woman: He that hath not a wife, is not a man; ſo, with all men, a wife had been of ſingular eſteem. But ſince ſin came into the world, to ſome men, ſingle life is better then marriage; It frees a man from many cares in houſhold affaires. It affords more leiſure to purſue heavenly things. It makes preſent neceſſitie of affliction leſs troubleſome. Yet, if God have not given reſolved diſpoſitions, againſt the burning luſts of the fleſh, it is better to marry.
You will ſay, ſuch ſhall have troubles in the 1 Cor. 7. 28 Prov. 21. 19 Matth. 19. 11, 12.fleſh: and it is better to dwell in the wilderneſs, then with a contentious woman in a wide houſe. It is true, yet all are not able to receive it, but they to whom it is given.
Object. You will ſay, that you will pray to God that he would grant you the gift of continencie.
Sol. Do; and it is good if thou canſt ſpeed: yet know that Gods gifts are of two ſorts: Generall, which are neceſſarie for all the godly, as Faith, Hope and Charitie: of theſe ſpeak the promiſe, Ask and ye ſhall have. Particular, Matth. 7.of which there is no promiſe that God will give it to all believers; and ſuch is ſingle life: for otherwiſe we ſhould neither have Church, Common-wealth, nor Family.
Obiect. If any ſhall ſay, put caſe I can not obtain ſuch a gift, yet I reſolve againſt marriage: for Adam the perfecteſt man, Solomon the wiſeſt man, and Sampſon the ſtrongeſt man were beguiled by their helpers.
Sol. I anſwer, though this reaſon be true (ſince ſin) yet it is not concludent for all ſingle ones. It is better to look before you leap, and to wed your prayers to God in Heaven, that he would wed you to good wives on earth; for as no worldly comfort is comparable to a faithfull yokefellow; ſo, woe be to Sampſon himſelf if he be married to a Philiſtim.