Godly Private Prayers for Christian Families, Prayers · Prayer 20
A Prayer againſt doubting to ſtrengthen a weake Faith, and to perſeuere therin.
GLorious and mightie Lord, who by …hy Soueraigne, & All-ſufficient power, as thou madeſt al things of nothing, ſo thou calleſt thoſe things which are not, as if they were, and doſt command light to ſhine out of darkeneſſe, that ſo wee might bee tranſlated out of darkneſſe, into this maruelous light. Holy Father, it is thine vnſpeakable mercy, that I thy moſt vnworthy ſeruant, being once the child of hell, yea darkneſſe it ſelfe, am now through thy free grace, illightning mine heart by Faith, enabled to behold thy face in Ieſus Chriſt, and ſo through this light, am become light in the Lord: being enabled by faith, to diſcerne the great Myſtery of Chriſt, and ſo by faith to lay hold thereon, as to bee freely thereby diſcharged from the guilt of my ſinne, and to be inueſted with the perfect righteouſneſſe of my Sauiour; that ſo I might bee found acceptable vntounto thee. Holy Father, how vnſpeakable herein hauehave beene thy mercies to me a vilde ſinner; that paſſing by the wiſe and noble of the world, it hath pleaſed thee of thy free grace to viſite mee, a very reprobate branch, with thy ſauing health, and to ſend the Spirit of thy Sonne into my dead heart, whereby thou haſt quickned mee by faith in the merits of my Sauiour, enabled mee with boldneſſe to draw neere vntounto thee: and to crie with confidence, Abba, Father. O how haſt thou ſhed thy louelove abroad in my heart by the holy Ghoſt, which thou haſt giuen me, whereby, though I hauehave beene in great heauines through many temptations, eſpecially with the ſenſe and horror of my ſins; yet haſt thou wonderfully refreſhed my fainting ſpirit, and cauſed mee to reioyce with ioy vnſpeakable and glorious. O how hauehave theſe holy rauiſhments, taken me vp into the third heauens? How hath my ſoule now longed to put off this corruption, and to be taken vp, for euer to enioy thy glorious preſence? How gladly would I now hauehave obtained the marke, before I had run my race? How willingly would I hauehave the crowne, before I had finiſhed my courſe? O the vnſpeakable riches of the wiſedome, and mercy of my God toward me! Didſt thou not put this precious treaſure of faith into an earthen veſſel, that the glorie might bee of God, and not of man: didſt thou not Redeeme mee out of the hands of our enemies, that ſo I might paſſe the time of my pilgrimage in feare, and magnifie thy power daily in mine infirmities, daily denying mine owne righteouſneſſe, that ſtill I may be found of thee in Chriſt, that ſtill I might liue by faith, in the Sonne of God, and grow vp in him to perfect holineſſe. Surely bleſſed Lord, when I conſider mine owne corruption, daily more and more appearing in me, and rebelling againſt thy righteous will, and caſting vp daily miſts to dimme the eie of my Faith, that I cannot ſo clearly diſcerne the light of thy countenance: yea, ſomtimes ſo leading me captiue into ſinne, that I am many times to ſeeke of the ſence of thy LoueLove: I am many times put to queſtion the truth of my faith, and to diſtruſt my ſelfe whether I hauehave any faith, or no. For alas Lord, I muſt needs confeſſe, to thy glory, that although thou commandeſt mee to beleeue perfectly in thy Sonne, and to be ſtrong in faith, yet I find on the other ſide, ſuch ſtrength of corruption, preuailing ouer mee, and commanding mee forcibly to giuegive way thereunto, and ſo not onelyonly interrupting the ſenſe of thy louelove vntounto me, but alſo challenging my louelove vntounto thee, that I am forced many times to feare, whether I am led by the Spirit truly of faith or no; whether euer thy louelove were ſhed abroad in my heart: if euer I loued thee in truth, ſeeing it ſeemes vntounto me, that my louelove vntounto ſinne is not altogether quenched: nay, I feele the power of corruption, carrying mee ſo violently after the luſts of my heart, that as I find my ſelfe leſſe cheerfull and conſtant in thy ſeruice, ſo on the other ſide, I ſometimes find my ſelfe leſſe able to reſiſt temptations: more apt and inclinable to ſuch luſts which heretofore I hauehave ſubdued, yea, often more fouly ouercome and foiled by them. What ſhall I ſay vntounto thee (O thou ſearcher of my heart, and preſeruer of my ſoule) doſt thou not ſee how cold ſomtimes I am in prayer? How dull in the hearing of the word? How careleſſe of thy Sabbaths? How vnconſcionable and negligent in my calling? How rebellious and inordinate in my affections? O how often hauehave I greeued thine holy Spirit, by neglecting the good motions thereof, yea many times willingly croſſing the ſame, and entertaining contrary ſuggeſtions of my cruell enemie? How careleſſe hauehave I beene to examaine my heart, and renew my couenant with thee? How deceitfull or careleſſe, in breaking often my vowes which I hauehave made vntounto thee againſt ſpeciall corruptions, for renuwing of decayed graces? O How often hauehave I beene ready to giuegive way to ſuch curſſed thoughts of blaſphemie, and fearefull impietie, which might euen quench thy Spirit, & lead to the diſpighting thereof? How hauehave I ſometimes bin readie to violate my Conſcience, by ruſhing on deſperate euils? yea, how fearfully hauehave I wounded the ſame by committing groſſe ſinnes, and to make vp the meaſure of my miſery? How hauehave I hardned my heart by ſleeping in ſinne, and neglecting the ſauing meanes of deepe humiliation, to awaken me to repentance? Alas (Lord) thou knoweſt ful wel that though thou haſt followed mee with many ſecret and open afflictions to rouſe me out of this ſleepe of Security, yet either it hath proued but a dreame, and ſo I hauehave falne aſleepe againe; or if my heart hath bin awake, yet it hath not bin vntounto thee to make my ſound peace, but rather vntounto my Enemie, to ceaſe his violence; yea, ſomtimes to the World, to procure ſome temporary lenity rather to eaſe my preſent paine, then to heale me thoroughly. And ſurely (righteous Lord) euen thus it hath befalne, that ſuch as I hauehave ſown, I hauehave often reaped euen more hardneſſe of heart, leſſe ſenſe and remorſe for ſinne, more boldneſſe thereto, and more eaſe therin; leſſe delight in holy duties, leſſe life in prayer, leſſe cōſcience in the word, more ſlights in my calling, more diſtraction in my recknings, and more confuſion in my Spirit.
Yet ſtill (O Lord) I heare a voice behinde me, ſaying; This is the way, walke in it. Yet ſtill I finde thy hand ouer me to ſtay me from ſinking; ſtill my better aduiſed heart tels me, it was better with mee formerly then now, when I had comfort in thy preſence, and conſcience in thine Ordinances. Still thy Spirit is readie to reuiue me with hope, that I may recouer againe, and my hope is confirmed heereby, that the meanes are ſtill offered me, and I am capeable of them. But (alas Lord) inſted of comfort by them, I reape nothing but further confuſion, becauſe as I am vnable to apply them to my ſelfe, ſo indeed I am not now fit for that comfort which I ſeeke for in thee. For what peace can there be to mee, while my corruptions ſtink before thee? Or how can I look for comfort, b…fore I be ſoundly healed? O the vnſpeakeable Riches of the wiſedom and merciemercy of my God! how inſearchable are thy Councels, and thy waies paſt finding out? As thou diddeſt bring light out of darkeneſſe in calling mee from darknes vntounto light; ſo doeſt thou cauſe thy light to ſhine in darkeneſſe, that thy glorie may bee perfected in my infirmities. And therefore, though I am now thy Creature, renewed after thine owne image, yet ſeeing thou wilt hauehave the onelyonly glory of thy worke, therefore as the light of the righteous muſt ſhine more and more vntounto the perfect day; ſo the darkneſſe of corruptions muſt not bee diſpelled vtterly at once; but daily be baniſhed more and more vntounto the coming of Chriſt.
Therefore is it (bleſſed Lord) that though thou haſt cancelled the guilt of my ſin at once by faith in Chriſt, yet haſt thou wiſely left the corruption of ſinne to be aboliſhed by degrees, that ſo I might ſtill liue by Faith in the death of Chriſt for the mortifying thereof, that I might dayly; grow vp in Chriſt to perfect holines, & therfore though corruption remaine in mee, yet ſeeing it doth not raigne in mee, here is my comfort, that I am not vnderunder the Law, but vnderunder Grace, & though I am ſometimes as no better then loſt in my ſelfe: yet, this is that I may ſtill deny mine owne righteouſneſſe, that I may be found of thee in Chriſt: for the concerning of preſent corruption, & for the aueſting of my perſon in him, to bee enabled thereby to perfect holineſſe. OnelyOnly gracious God, grant mee heere I pray thee, ſtill to iuſtifie thy wiſedome, in condemning mine owne folly, and to aduance thy free and conſtant grace, in the acknowledging of mine owne corruptions. True it is holie Father, that as thou madeſt man righteous at the firſt, but he ſought many inuentions to his owne ouerthrow, ſo didſt thou ſo reſtore me againe by thy power of Chriſt vntounto a more durable ſtate of holineſſe, that neither ſhall I euer fall away from thee finally, neither though thou haſt left corruption in mee: yet, ſeeing thy end heerein was to make mee ſtill deny my ſelfe, that I might ſtand faſt in Chriſt, in whom thou haſt ingrafted mee, therfore neither might I hauehave falne at al into ſuch feareful diſtraction, if I had kept me cloſe vntounto my hold, neither though I hauehave fallen by letting goe my hold, yet ſhall not my falling make thy truth without effect; nay, rather ſhall proue a meanes to make good the ſame. And therefore I doe heere vnfainedly acknowledge before thee (bleſſed Lord) mine owne folly in letting goe my hold; thou haſt not beene wanting with all meanes to preſerue me vpright; but I hauehave beene wanting to the meanes, and ſo I hauehave beene wanting vntounto thee and to my ſelfe. thou haſt willed mee to liue by faith, euen when I hauehave feeling of thy louelove; and my inward pride hath peruerted thy gracious feeling to make mee liue by ſence, and behold the Sunne when it ſhineth: and ſo by peruerting the comfort of thy Spirit, as an occaſion to the fleſh, I hauehave iuſtly greiued thy Spirit, and ſo thou with dreweſt thy face from mee, and I hauehave beene troubled. Troubled in my ſoule for the loſſe of thy fauour, troubled of the world by ſeeking falſe remedies there from: troubled in my Spi…it, by the confuſion of thoſe remedies, as breeding ſome times hardneſſe of heart, and ſo bringing forth troubles, by expoſing to outward euils, and hindering in the vſe of ſpirituall remedies: ſometimes herevpon breeding further trouble and inward horror and anguiſh of ſpirit, many times laying the axe to the very roote, & challenging the maine. And yet in all this, farre leſſe then I hauehave deſerued, that ſo I might hauehave hope in thy free grace for my recouerie. And in all this, aduancing thy righteouſneſſe, in abaſing my folly, that ſo I might ſtill renounce mine owne righteouſneſſe, and labour to bee found in Chriſt for my recouery and perfection. OnelyOnly keepe me here (holy Father) from preſumptuous ſinne, that it may not hauehave dominion ouer me to turne thy grace into wantonneſſe, and then lead mee into thy priuy Chamber: & ſtay me with thy flaggons, that I may not onelyonly not ſleepe in death, but alſo awake and ſing out of the duſt, and out of the deepe; to admire thine infinite wiſdome, and to ſee thee who art inuiſible, that I may bee raiſed vp againe. O giuegive me therefore (moſt mighty Lord) to condemme mine owne folly, for being wiſe in mine owne eies, in turning thy fauour as an occaſion to the fleſh: grant mee to thanke my ſelfe, that of the fleſh I hauehave reaped ſuch confuſion, and giuegive thee thankes, the more thou haſt ſuſtained mee in the graue. Grant me out of experience of mine owne fooliſhneſſe, to giuegive thee the glory of thy free goodneſſe, and out of the experience of thy power, in my weakneſſe, to comfort my ſelfe, that thou wilt returne againe. And that thou maiſt vndoubtedly returne with ſpeed: O ſtrengthen my weake faith I humbly pray thee, with thy precious promiſes, that thy foundation ſtands ſure, whatſoeuer my building may be: thou knoweſt who are thine. O let it comfort my fainting ſpirit, that all things ſhall worke together for the beſt, to thoſe whome thou haſt choſen, that ſo I may wiſely compare one thing with another: things paſt, with things preſent, & by thoſe things to come, that ſo I may liue by faith, in the iudging of my preſent eſtate, by looking behind and before, and not be caſt off my hold, either by preſent temptations, or future feares. O eſtabliſh me with thy precious promiſe, that thou wilt keepe me to the end, that ſo I may liue by faith, in caſting my ſelfe vppon thy mighty power, and committing my ſelfe in weldoing into thine holy hands. Teach mee to deny mine owne wiſedome, that I may truſt perfectly in thy mercy, and grant me in things to rely vppon the wiſedome of thy word, which is able to make mee wiſe and perfect to ſaluation. Let thy word keepe me in all my waies, that I may not decline to the right hand or to the left: and let my ſupplications be alwaies manifeſt at the throne of grace, that ſo I may be carefull for nothing. O let me not in any caſe, greiue thine holy Spirit any more, but grant mee to entertaine and cherriſh the motions therof, by turning them into feruent prayers, and conſcioāble practices, ſeaſonable to the occaſion: weane mee from the louelove of the world, that I may hauehave fellowſhip in thy louelove: and purge my heart from ſecret wickedneſſe, that it bee not ſtolne away from thee. keepe mee alwaies cloſe vntounto thee, that I may not fall into open wickedneſſe; and giuegive mee grace alwaies to remember my end, that I may be ſtill prepared, againſt the comming of my Maiſter & Sauiour Ieſus Chriſt. And ſo ſtill accept me (gracious Father) as I am in him and not in my ſelfe, as I would be in thee, and not what I am in corruption; as I ſhall be with thee, not what I am in this preſent world: enabling me ſtill to deſire aboue what I can do, and to beleeue aboue what I can thinke or deſire, and ſo lead mee forward by thy power, through the vally of teares, that though I ſomtimes ſlippe, yet I may vp againe: though I ſtray a while, yet I may thereby mend my pace, & follow cloſe after the marke, not looking on my ſelfe, & mine owne worth or inability, but ſtill looking vntounto Ieſus the Authour and finiſher of my faith: that ſo I may in him bee more then Conqueorr, and ſo fighting ſtill the good fight of faith, I may finiſh my courſe with ioy, and lay hold of eternall life in due ſeaſon. And ſo fil me (O God of grace) with all ioy in beleeuing, that ſo I may liue by faith, that I may bee readier to die in faith, and to giuegive vp my ſoule by faith into thy holy hands, apprehending by faith, the Reſurrection from the dead, that ſo I may bee tranſlated from death to life, and enioy for euer thy glorious preſence. Grant theſe things (O Gracious Lord) according to thy goodneſſe, in Ieſus Chriſt my Sauiour, and bleſſed Redeemer, Amen.