Godly Private Prayers for Christian Families, Prayers · Prayer 9
A Prayer for the Sabbath Euening.
ALmighty and euerliuing Lord God, F…ther of our Lord Ieſus Chriſt, & in him our moſt louing and gracious Father, whoſe faithfulnes is euerlaſting, & louing kindnes paſt finding out: it is thy good prouidence (holy Father) that wee thine vnworthy Seruants, hauehave had this opportunity to commerſe with thy glorious Maieſty this day, in thy holy ordinances, and now are to make vp our reckoning for our imployment therein, in the ſhuting vp thereof, and it is thine infinite mercy & tender compaſſion towards vsus, that thou haſt yet reſpited vsus to the end of this thine holy Sabbath, to make our peace with thee, that ſo wee may lye downe in thy fauour, and ſo bee ſealed vp hereb… vntounto thine eternall Sabbath. For wee vnfainedly here confeſſe before thee, O thou thee ſearcher of our hearts, that though thou haſt offered thy ſelfe moſt graciouſly vntounto vsus this day in all thine ordinances, to the reclayming of vsus from our vaine and peruerſe waies, as alſo to allure vsus to conſtant and cheerefull obedience, yet Lord, thou knoweſt what little power wee hauehave found to ſubdue the rebellions of our proud ſpirits, how little comfort wee hauehave reaped from thence, to arme vsus againſt temptation, and ſtay vsus from ſinking therein: Nay, our wiſedome hath the more oppoſed thy Spirit, by how much the more it hath bene conuinced there by, and our wounds hauehave more ſtunke and putrified, the more thou haſt laboured to lance and cure them.
How ſlightly did wee prepare our ſelues to thy publike worſhip, being only formall and cuſtomarie in the priuate: rather ſtanding vppon the adorning of our ſtinking carcaſſes to pleaſe men, then to humble our ſoules that wee may bee accepted of thee. How careleſſe hauehave wee bene in exhorting and prea…i…g thy Familie, that they together with vsus, might go vp with confidence to the houſe of God, and ſo bee there refreſhed with the fatnes of thy houſe. And as we tooke not he…d to our feet when wee ſhould come before thee, ſo when we came, our footing deceiued vsus; and though we ſaw our face in thy glaſſe, and were iuſtly abaſed at the foule ſpots therein, yet wee forgate preſently the true hue thereof, and ſo loſe our ſelues at home, euen when wee ſought to find thee abroad, departing alwaies without ſound comfort from thy preſence, becauſe we could not endure to be thorowly abaſed in our ſelues before thee.
And thus hath it befalne vsus (holy Lord) euen while we hauehave endeauoured to honor thee in thine Ordinances; that while, wee hauehave rather ſought therein our own glorie, then thine; and deſired rather the outward credite of Profeſſion, then the power of Conuerſion, and renuing of our inward ſpirits. Thogh thou gaueſt vsus our deſire to be ſeene of men, yet thou didſt ſend leanneſſe into our ſoule; denying vsus iuſtly, the true comfort which wee did not cheefely deſire, or indeed were not fit for. For (alas) what leaue could we expect from thee, or at all in thee, who while we tendred with the Harlot offrings of peace and made glorious ſhewes of loyaltie vntounto thee; yet did no better then vſurpe vponupon thy honour by our hypocriſie & vaineglory, and (as much as lay in vsus) challenge moſt blaſphemouſly thine omniſcienced righteouſneſſe; as if either thou didſt not diſcern our inward rottenneſſe, or didſt approue of our outſide and bodily worſhip. And did euer any fight againſt God, and proſper? Euen ſo (Lord) hath it fared with me this day: Mine owne proud heart hath fought againſt thee in the vſe and ſence of all thy Bleſſings, ſeeking to ſerue my ſelfe by them, and not thy glorie, and ſo to harden my heart therewith, that though thou filleſt the hungrie with good things, yet diddeſt thou ſend mee away empty of true comfort, becauſe my proud and ſwolne heart vtterly excluded the ſame. And ſo it iuſtly befell me, according to thy word, that it carried mee from the preſence of thy grace. While I ſtood in the preſence of thy Ordinances, Lord how my minde wandered from thee, while my bodie was before thee. Nay, my diſharted mind peruerted my body alſo, that euen with much deadneſſe of the outward man, much drowſineſſe and irreuerence, I behaued my ſelfe ſo before thee, as I durſt not before my Friend; as I might giuegive iuſt aduantage to mine Enemie: rather thinking the time too long, becauſe my mind was on my belly, yea ſometimes wiſhing mine cares ſhorter, and more ſlow to heare, that ſo I might not conceiue what was contrarie vntounto my corruption: that I might (as it were) bleſſe my ſoul in my ſhallow and counterfet holineſſe? And what I yet conceiued, how quickely either did I loſe it, that I might not finde my ſelfe: or how fooliſhly did I turn it, to the puffing vp of my fleſh, with a conceit of knowledge, or to the adoring of the veſſel that yeelded the Treaſure, that ſo he alſo might cloake & magnifie me?
O Lord, how my deceitfull heart couzened it ſelfe heerein? Either in applying what I heard to others, as if my ſelfe were not aymed at, that ſo I might hereby commit two Euils, both to condemne others, and iuſtify my ſelfe: Or elſe, in miſapplying what I heard vntounto my ſelfe, faſtening on ſuch Comforts as did not belong vntounto mee, or ſlighting ſuch Terrors, as ſpecially aymed at my ſore. What ſhould I ſay vntounto thee (O thou more inward with me, then mine inmoſt parts) Though mine eare was ſomtime tickled, yet mine heart was not moued at al, or more hardned by its contrarie motion: Though mine heart was ſtricken for the preſent, and ſhaken by thy Terrours, yet it was calmed againe by the enchantments of Hypocriſie and Securitie. And although I ſaw my true face in thy glaſſe, yet I ſtopt mine eares from the hearing of thy Law; and therefore thou diddeſt alſo hide thine eares from my Prayers, which I afterward made before thee in priuate, and deniedſt thy gracious bleſſing to my endeauours, in the informing of my Family, and conferring of what I had heard, for their further building vp in knowledge and obedience: and becauſe I had beene ſo careleſſe in attending thee; therefore thou diddeſt iuſtly leaue mee to the neglect of my duetie to my ſelfe, and mine; that ſo in our fayling each other, wherein happily we might be more confounded, as making this the main of our Religion, rather to be honoured of each other, in mutuall helpe, then to honor thee our God, in ſeeking help from thee alone, wee might knowe the true cauſe, why thou didſt fail vsus in the publike, euen becauſe we ſought our ſelues, and not thy Glory. Oh the infinite riches of the wiſedome of God! How wiſely didſt thou abaſe thy Seruant at home, where hee ſought to aduance himſelfe in priuat by profiting others, who neither ſought thine honour abroad, nor how to benefit himſelfe by the publike Ordinances. And yet how mercifully diddeſt thou heerein deale with him, by calling him to account, and charging him as an vnprofitable ſeruant, for his vnworthy walking before thee in the publike, while he was caſting vp his peniworthes at home, and expiated the approbation and recompence of a profitable ſeruant. Euen thus, O Lord my God, fared it with me at home, the beſt that I reaped was accordingly as I had ſowne. As I ſowed to the fleſh abroad, ſo of the fleſh I reaped corruption and confuſion at home: and while I endeuoured to heale the wound, and mend my ſelfe, by imparting of my b…d peniworths to others, it was more encreaſed by their drowſineſſe and deceitfull chaffering with me, yeelding me no better then the chaffe and refuſe of bodily and formall attendance for all my Lip-labour and cold deuotions beſtowed vppon them. And this is all that I can truly account with thee (O thou Searcher of my ſecret parts) for all the goodneſſe I hauehave receiued from thee this day, euen to account my ſelfe vnworthy of the leaſt of thy mercies, not able to anſwere thee one for a thouſand, if thou ſholdſt enter into iudgment with me. But herein yet hauehave I boldneſſe before thee, & comfort from thee, that in this I do vnfeignedly iudge my ſelfe, that thou mayeſt not condemne mee, that in the iudging of my ſelf I deſire to giuegive thee the onelyonly glorie of all thy mercies vouchſafed vntounto me this day in acknowledging my ſelfe vnworthy of the leaſt of them, that ſo ſtill I may bee found of thee in Ieſus Chriſt; not hauing mine owne righteouſnes, and ſo in his Peace, may find peace and comfort with thee.
O pardon therfore (I humbly pray thee) the manifolde wanderings of thy poore ſeruant from thee this day, euen while he hath bin with thee, and diſcharge him of thoſe fearefull reckonings which he hath had with his owne ſoule, becauſe he hath reckoned without thee, & not meaſured himſelfe by his acceptance with thee, but rather by what he hath ſlightly performed vntounto thee. Accept me therfore in the righteouſneſſe of my Sauiour, and couer all mine imperfections, with the perfect holineſſe of my Redeemer, that in him I may appeare all faire before thee: And ſpeake vntounto my poore ſoule, by the teſtimonie of thy good Spirit, ſealing vp vntounto me, the forgiueneſſe of my beſt endeauours; that ſo the conſcience of my manifold wanderings, and backeſlidings from thee, in my vain & worldly thoghts, carnall walking, and behauiour farre vnbeſeeming either this day, or thy preſence, may not confound me in thy preſence, while I ſue out my diſcharge from thee.
O giuegive me to mourne vnfainedly for greeuing thy Spirit ſo often this day, and diſhonoring thy great name, wherein I hauehave ſought to honour thee: and make mee to abhorre my ſelfe before thee in a iuſt deteſtation of my beſt endeuou…s, as to bee iuſtified thereby; that ſo I may be acquitted by thy free mercy in Ieſus Chriſt, and in him may finde peace & comfort in thee: both that my faylings are not imputed vntounto me, and that my poore endeuours being the worke of thine owne Spirit, may bee accepted of thee. Let this comfort me (O my God) that I hauehave deſired to walk before thee this day in the trueth of my heart: and let this ſtill humble me before thee, that I hauehave not anſwered my deſires heerein, that ſo I may hauehave comfort in thy free acceptance, aboue all that I could do, or deſire. And ſo in this comfort, grant mee to repoſe my ſelfe whollie, in thy free Grace, both to refreſh me in the night ſeaſon, that I may not ſleep in death; and ſo to raiſe me vp again to a wiſe redeeming of the time of my ciuill Calling, & therein to lay vp a good foundation, for better preparation againſt the next Sabbath, and ſo to be prepared to my eternall Sabbath with thee for euer in thy glorious kingdom. Heare mee (O Lord) in theſe my ſupplications, pardon the weakneſſe of my ſinful prayers, accept my perſon in the Sonne of thy louelove, and anſwere me aboue all that I can aske or thinke, euen for the onelyonly merit of thy deere Son my onelyonly Sauiour Ieſus Chriſt, in whom thou art wel pleaſed, Amen.