A Help Unto Devotion, Prayer 12 – Prayer 13
12. A Prayer applyed to the ſtate of a man inwardly perplext with the horror of ſin, with doubtings of Gods fauour, & with the tentations of ſathan tending to deſpaire.
O Thou moſt pitifull God, & to thoſe whō thou loueſt in Ieſus Chriſt, moſt tender Father, neuer did there any poore chaſed Hart bray after the riuers of water, ſo as my diſtreſſed and amazed Soule panteth after thee. Oh that I had fayth to lay holde vponupon that moſt ſwéet promiſe, by which thou calleſt all that are weary and laden to come vntounto thee. Faine I would (O Lord) approche into thy gratious preſence, and happy ſéeme I to my ſelfe, if I might taſte though but (as it were) ſome crummes of thy rich mercy. Mee thinketh that all thinges which I ſée in the world and which the ſonnes of men doe dote vponupon ſo exceedingly, are but dung and droſſe in compariſon of thy fauour: Oh that I might be but one of the loweſt of ſaints, or (as it were) a ſeruitor or doore kéeper among thy holy ones. Thus I ſée thy mercy, I admire it, I prefer it in my choyſe before the greateſt treaſure: but whē I would apply it to my own particular caſe, Oh what a world of diſcouragemēts do I méet with? My ſinnes doe take ſuch holde vponupon me, that I am not able to looke vppe: they are ſo many, yea more in number then the hayres of my head, that my heart doth euen fayle mee to conſider them. When I think how my Soule and Spirit is fraughted & defiled euen with whole millions of profane, hardened, ſecure, vicious, worldly & vnſanctified thoghts, how many offers of grace I hauehave neglected, how thy forbearance hath béene abuſed by mee, how I hauehave béene a reproach and ſlaunder to thy Goſpel, how dead and lumpiſh and falſe-hearted I hauehave béene in thy ſeruice, how barren in good workes, and what little procéedings I hauehave made, going rather backward then ſtriuing vntounto more perfection, how I hauehave cōtented my ſelfe with ſhewes of godlineſſe: when (I ſay) I thinke vponupon theſe and other my groſſe and palpable enormities, I cannot but vtterly condemne my ſelf, neither can I belieue that it is poſſible for ſo vile a wretch as I, to bee admitted into thy fauour. Sometimes I conceiue ſome litle hope, and I ſéeme to my ſelfe to hauehave ſome taſte of thy fauour, and ſome kinde of aſſurance that I am deare vntounto thée in thy Sonne; but ſuddenly my comfort vaniſheth, my hope is ouerclouded with perplexed doubtings, and I am well-neere ſwallowed vp with meere deſpaire. Can any mortal man (think I) know the mind of God: or if ſome holy perſon may be ſo farre graced, as to vnderſtand Gods purpoſe touching himſelfe; is it poſſible that ſo vile a creature as I, ſhoulde come to ſuch a high prerogatiue? Can the Spirit of the Lord, dwell in ſuch a ſtinking and polluted ſoule as mine? will hee vouchſafe to giuegive mee an aſſurance of Gods fauour? Or if I might knowe nowe that I am in the ſtate of grace, what aſſuraunce can I hauehave, that I ſhall ſo continue, being beſet with manie imperfections? Thus (O Lord) mine owne thoughts oppreſſe mee, and mine own ſoule doth plead the caſe againſt it ſelfe: Neither is Sathan, the auncient enemy of thine Elect, wanting, to adde affliction to my miſerie.
Heeretofore his manner hath beene, to incite and to prouoke mee vntounto ſinne, by hyding and couering the vgly and moſt loatheſome face thereof, and to beare mee in hand, that it was a verie eaſie thing to repent, and that alſo thy fauour (O Lorde) might be procured by and by: Now hee enlargeth my euils, & makes my ſins to appeare before my conſcience in moſt terrible and hideous ſhapes; he telleth me, that my hypocriſie is apparant, that the guile of my heart is written in great letters and cannot bee denyed, that it is now in vaine for mee to ſue for grace, there being no hope of mercy left for ſuch offendours: that it is to no purpoſe for mee to pray; for as I can not pray as I ſhould, otherwiſe then in hypocriſie, ſo neither (if I could pray aright) can there bee any acceſſe vntounto the throne of grace for the requeſts of ſuch a treſpaſſer. Notwithſtanding (O moſt gracious God) euen in deſpite of his ſuggeſtions and amidſt all thoſe diſcouragements which mine own heart muſtereth againſt mee. I doe héere aduenture my ſelfe into thy moſt glorious preſence; If I ſhall find fauour in thine eyes, ſhew me the light of thy countenance and I ſhall bee ſafe: If thou ſay, I hauehave no delight in thee, behold, héere I am, do to me as ſéemeth good in thine owne eyes. I knowe what thou haſt ſpoken in thy worde, namely: that if I draw néere vntounto thee, thou wilt drawe néere vntounto mee, and that thou wilt fulfill the deſires, and accept ye vnexpreſſeable grones and ſighings of thy ſeruants: Trueth it is (O Lord) I dare not ſay that I draw néere vntounto thee as I ſhould, or that my deſires are ſuch as they ought to be, or that I groane vnderunder my ſinnes with ſuch an effectuall and pearcing féeling as is fit.
All that I am able to doe, and that in much weakeneſſe, is to cry fayntly vntounto thee, Oh draw mee, and I will runne after thee, make mee to deſire thy mercy in ſinceritie, bruiſe my heart, that it may yeeld out many vndiſſembled ſighings after thee. Yet (O Lorde) though there bee in mee but ſuch poor beginnings of grace, ſuffer me not (I beſéech thee) to caſt away my confidence. I am well aſſured that thou haſt not forgotten ye promiſe of not breaking the bruiſed réede, nor putting out the ſmoking flaxe, and of giuing a bleſſing vntounto thoſe which hunger after righteouſneſſe.
Is it poſſible (O Lorde) that thou ſhouldeſt leaue off to bee gracious, and ſhut vppe thy tender mercies in diſpleaſure? Didſt not thou ſend thy ſonne into the world to dye euen for chiefe ſinners? Is it not true, that whē ſinne abounds, there thy grace aboūdeth much more? Could I euer ſo much as trulie deſire reconciliation with th…e vnleſſe thou didſt worke it in me? Is not this requeſt, Lord, helpe my vnbeliefe, the very voyce of thy ſpirit within me? Could I complaine of the hardneſſe of my heart, or ſincerely lothe mine owne corruptions as being diſpleaſing to thy maieſtie, if thine owne finger had not effected it? Should I féele ſuch a combate in my Soule, & ſuch a tumult within me, if thou hadſt not truely begun to draw mee to thy ſelfe? Would ſathan ſo continually moleſt me, and ſo egerly purſue me with variety of moſt malicious and ſharpe aſſaults, if I were ſtill held captiue by him at his will? Rayſe me vppe therefore (O Lord) I pray thee, refreſh my deiected and caſt downe ſoule, perfit the work of grace which thou haſt begun within mee, make mee to heare of ioy and gladnes, that the bones which thou haſt broken may reioyce. Thou haſt ſet me as a marke vntounto thy ſelfe, thou haſt written bitter things againſt mee, and made mee to poſſeſſe my former iniquities, thou haſt hidden thy face from me, and taken me for thine enemy: cō fort me now according to the dayes that thou haſt afflicted me, let mee behold thy face in righteouſneſſe, and reſtore vntounto me the ioy of thy ſaluation. Rebuke ſathan, I moſt humbly beſéech thee: though thou pleaſe to buffet mee with his meſſengers, yet let thy grace be ſufficient for me, and make thine owne power in reuiuing mee, perfect and manifeſt by my weakenes, which of it ſell is ready to bee preſſed downe with eueryevery tentation. GiueGive mee that holy wiſedome, not to belieue ſathan, no, though he ſpeake the trueth; inaſmuch as he is the father of lyes, and neuer ſpeaketh trueth but for a wicked purpoſe. And (O Lorde) as thou encreaſeſt my comfort, ſo withall encreaſe my care, that I may not fall from perplexitie to ſecuritie, but that I may alwayes keep my heart with all diligence, proouing my fayth, and ſearching my wayes, and exerciſing my ſelfe vntounto godlineſſe. Make mee a carefull and an vnderſtanding hearer of thy word, ſith it is the word of life, a quickening word, a worde which doeth reioyce the heart; and becauſe, except that be my delight, I ſhall vtterly periſh in mine afflictions.
Make mee circumſpect to preuent ſinne, and fearefull ouer my ſelfe, that ſinne may not grow ſtrong vponupon me: and graunt that I may ſtudy to preſerue the peace of my conſcience aboue all things, taking héed of wounding it with preſumptuous ſinnes. And (O Lord) ſtabliſh me with thy frée ſpirit, that albeit ſathan ſéeke to ſift me & to winnow me as wheat, yet my faith may neuer fayle, but may be as moūt Ziō which cānot be remooued, but remaineth for euermore. Thus (O my gracious God) hauing, through thy mercy, peace in belieuing, and ioy in thy holy ſpirit, I ſhal finiſh my courſe in comfort: which I pray thee graunt mee for his ſake who is ye Prince of peace, euen Ieſus Chriſt, to whom with thee and the holy Ghoſt, bée all honour and glory, now and for euer. Amen.
13. A Prayer, then needfull, when a man hath ſome ſpeciall combate with ſome one or moe ſpecial ſinnes, againſt which hee deſireth victory.
O Louing Father in Ieſus Chriſt, it hath pleaſed thee of thine abundant merciemercy to giuegive leaue to eueryevery humbled & diſtreſſed ſinner, to pour out his Soule before thee, and thou haſt bound thy ſelfe by a promiſe both to heare and to helpe all thoſe which ſéeke thée with an vnfained heart; The confident aſſurāce hereof hath giuē me courage (albeit moſt vnworthy) to preſent my ſelf here before thee, & to conceiue hope yt thou wilt not ſend me empty away. Wounded (O Lord) I am with mine owne hainous ſins, my vntamed fleſh doth alwayes rebel & luſt againſt my ſpirit: ſome good motions and purpoſes I ſometimes hauehave, but (alas) they are quickely quenched, & ye law of my members ſo preuaileth, that I cannot do ye good which I would. I hauehave in me (I confeſſe) the ſéed of eueryevery ſin, & my nature is apt to be wrought vntounto any kind of euill. But (O God) there are ſome principall corruptiōs which do beare in me ye greateſt ſway, & they do ſo euen raign in my mortal body, yt I am forced to obey them in the luſts therof: The deuil alſo is ful of moſt malicious policie & he ſtill worketh vpō all aduā tages, & out of al things almoſt taketh occaſion to adde fuel to my wicked deſires, & by pleaſing & delightful baites to lead them on vntounto a helliſh perfection. The more I ſtriue, the ſtronger (mee thinketh) theſe corruptions grow: which maketh me to feare ye vtter quenching of thy gracrs, & the grieuing of thy holy ſpirit. Hereby my Prayers are interrupted, my meditations perplexed, and robbed of their wonted ſwéetneſſe, my hearing and reading of thy word is made vnprofitable: My fayth is encountred with grieuous doubtings, becauſe I cannot féele that ſtrength and power of thy ſpirit which I would. O Lord, if thy mercy be not my ſtay, I muſt néedes bee ouercome: whom hauehave I in Heauen but thee? whither ſhall I fly but to thy gracious aſſiſtance? I beſéech thee, to hauehave compaſſion on me, crucifie and kill theſe vnruly luſts, abate ye ſtrength of theſe violent and wicked deſires: Weaken them, I pray thee, & ſuffer them not to hauehave dominion ouer mee. Let thy Spirit guide me, and lead mee into the land of righteouſneſſe. Or if it bee thy pleaſure (O Lord) ſtill to exerciſe me, yet leaue me not deſtitute of thy grace, but encreaſe it in mee, that I may grow vntounto a larger meaſure of ſanctification: Make me hereby the more feruent and frequent in Prayer, the more ſtrait to preuent all occaſions leading vntounto euill, ye more ielous ouer my wayes, the more humble and vile in mine owne ſight: that ſo euen out of euill there may ſpring good vntounto me, & that I may ſée the fulfilling of that holy promiſe, that all things worke together for the beſt vntounto thy ſeruants. Heare me (I entreate thee) in this, and in all other my requeſts, for Chriſt Ieſus ſake thy beſt beloued Sonne, and the onelyonly ſauiour of thy choſen. Amen.