The Christian Warfare Part 2, Book 1 · Chapter 19
CHAP. XIX.
That the friendship of wicked worldlings is to be contemned, and carefully auoided.
ANd thus hauehave I shewed the dangerousnesse of§. Sect. 1. That true friendship is much to be esteemed. the worlds temptations, which hauehave their strength from wicked companie. In the next place we are to speake of those which are grounded on worldly friendship, and to propound some reasons which may moue vsus to contemne and auoid it. Where first we are to know that the following discourse tēdeth not to the disgrace of true friendship, or to take way this neere louelove and kindnesse betweene man and man; for this is not only one of the chiefe comforts which sweetens worldly miseries, but a notable helpe and furtherance in the course of godlinesse. And as the Sonne of Syrach saith, A faithfull friend is a strong defence, and he that Eccl. 6. 14. 15. &c.findeth such an one findeth a treasure. A faithfull friend ought not to be changed for any thing, and the waight of gold and siluer Solem è mundo tollunt, qui tollunt amicitiam. Ambros. de amicit. cap. 7. Sine amici… omnis cogilatio esset taedium, omnis operatio labor, omnis terra peregrinatio. &c. Cas. sian. in epist.is not to be compared to the goodnes of his faith. A faithful friend is the medicine of life and immortalitie, and they that feare the Lord shal find him: who so feareth the Lord shal direct his friendship aright & as his owne selfe, so shall his friend be. Which who so take away from amongst men, they take away (as it were) the Sun out of the firmament, and spoile them of their chiefe comfort: for as one saith, without friends all our cogitations are tedious, our workes toylesome, eueryevery countrie is an exile or pilgrimage, all life a torment, and without their solace life were no better then death.
Of this true friendship which is only among those that are§. Sect. 2. In what respects friendship with the wicked is to be auoided. Amicus verus diu quae…itur, vix inuenitur, difficile seruatur. Hieron. epist. ad Ruff. tom. 1. good, in good, & to good ends and purposes we do not here speake; yea rather we ought earnestly to wish, that this vertue no lesse excellent then rare and hard to be found, might againe returne to the sons of men from heauen, vntounto which it seemeth fled, that their comfort in this sweet fruition of their mutuall good might be inlarged and increased. But the following discourse tendeth to the contempt of that worldly, wicked, false and counterfeit friendship intertained among men, which is betweene the euill alone, or the good and bad together in euill things, and for the accomplishment of euill ends: in which respects whē this friendship is admitted, it quite excludeth the true louelove of God. Neither would I hauehave Gods seruants to withdraw themselues from worldlings in respect of ciuill kindnesse, and to professe open emnity against their persons, but only from hauing neere friendship and familiaritie with them, or any communion and fellowship in that which is euill. For howsoeuer we are to hate their sins, yet wee must louelove their persons, and though wee may not in respect of the former euils intertaine them as friends, yet if it be possible, and as much as …n vsus lieth, we are to Rom. 12. 18.hauehave peace with all men: and to further with our best indeuours their conuersion vntounto God, that so being of one familie, we may louelove them as our brethren and fellow seruants: and for the present seeing we cannot hauehave them our friends,Paucis sis charu…, multis ignetus, nemini otiosus, &c. Hos omnes amicos habere operosum est: satis est inimicos non habere. Senec. epist. 14. §. Sect. 3. That we cannot hold friendship with worldlings, and peace with God. let vsus not willingly hauehave them (if we can by lawfull meanes auoid it) our foes and enemies.
But to come to our purpose: wee are carefully to take heed of worldly friendship, when it is an occasion to breake off our friendship with God (as it is, when as it prouoketh or allureth vsus to the committing of sinne, or to the neglect of any good duety) and labour to please God rather then men, when wee cannot please both together: esteeming such kind of friendship the most hatefull emnitie, and such carnall friends, to bee no better then trecherous enemies, who doe vsus much more mischiefe then those who openly discouer their malice, and shew their hatred by offering all outward violence. Whereof it is that one thus exclaimeth against this wicked friendship: O friendship (saith hee) too much our enemie, as being a seducer not easilie to bee discerned; from which proceedeth an appetite and greedie desire of doing hurt, and endamaging others, as it were by way of sport and play, without any desire of gaine or reuenge; but whilest companions Aug. Confes. lib. 2. cap. 9.say, let vsus goe together, let vsus doe it, and they are ashamed not to be as impudent as their setters on. With which wicked friendship that we may not be abused and inueagled, let vsus consider, first, that wee cannot hold this friendship with worldlings, but wee must breake our league and couenant with God, and as it were proclaime warres against him; for as the Apostle Iohn telleth vsus, he that loueth the world, the louelove 1. Ioh. 2. …5.of the father cannot abide in him: and Iames plainely affirmeth, that the amitie of the world is emnitie with God; and therefore whosoeuer will bee a friend of the world, maketh himselfe the enemie of God: into which sinne when Iehoshaphat fell, hee isIam. 4. 4. sharpely reproued by the Prophet, Wouldest thou (saith he) helpe the wicked, and louelove them that hate the Lord? therefore for this thing the wrath of the Lord is vponupon thee.
Secondly, let vsus consider that this friendship with wicked§. Sect. 4. That friendship with worldlings is false and counterfeit. worldlings is not true, but false and counterfeite. For there is no true friendship, but that which is betweene the vertuous and faithfull, and grounded vponupon the true louelove and feare of God; for whose sake they also louelove their brethren, whereby they helpe one another forward in vertuous actions,Ʋera amicitia tantum inter bonos oritur, inter bonos proficit, inter optimos consummatur. Cassian. super. Psal. Aug. epist. ad Macedon. 52. tom. 2. and further their good ends and indeauors. To which purpose one saith; that all true friendship ariseth and beginneth betweene those that are good, encreaseth among the good, and is most perfect among those who are best and most vertuous; and another affirmeth, that we cannot be true friends vntounto men vnles we be first friends vntounto the truth. With whom also a third agreeth, saying, that all louelove of the flesh is corrupt, and that all worldly friendship is false and counterfaite, which is not knit together with the bond of Gods feare; there being no true fidelitie in Chrysost. in Mat. 10. Homil. 24. tom. 2. cap. 908.the seruants of the diuell. Neither is it the fruit of true friendship, that our faith towards God should through it bee violated; for he cannot bee a true friend vntounto man, who hath shewed himselfe vnfaithfull vntounto God: nor yet can it bee inPietatis custos amicitia est. Basil. Homil. 9. de ira. euill, seeing (as one saith) friendship is the keeper and preseruer of pietie; and therefore that friendship which is with wicked worldlings, is to be contemned and abhorred, as being falseAmicitia in malo esse non potest. Aug. ad Consent.. and counterfeite, seeing it is with the euill, in euill, and for euill ends, and not grounded vponupon the louelove of God, but vponupon worldly respects to serue their owne turnes; and vponupon selfe louelove that they may hauehave profit or pleasure by them; in eating, drinking, discoursing, gaming, sporting, and such other carnall delights. Whereupon it followeth that it is deceitfull and inconstant: for whereas true friendship is immutable and perpetuall, because it is grounded on vertue, and on the louelove of God, which is vnchangeable; this worldly friendship is flickering and vnconstant, lasting no longer then these worldly respects and ends of pleasure and profit last, whereupon it wholly resteth and relieth. And therefore (as one saith) hee foully erreth, who seeketh for a Errat antē qui amicum in atrio quaerit, in conuiuio probat, &c. Senec. epist. 19.friend in the court, and trieth him at a banquet; neither can a worse thing befall a man much imployed in the world, and flourishing in prosperitie, then that he imagineth them to be friends vntounto him, vntounto whom he is not; thinking that his benefits are powerfull enough to procure friends: whereas some men the more they are obliged, the more they maligne their benefactors: for small moneyes lent make debters; but great summes, enemies; because all hope is taken away of requitall, and pride maketh them to hate those, vntounto whom their necessitie enforceth them whether they will or no, to stand indebted and beholding.
Such friends therefore as are tied vntounto vsus in these worldly§. Sect. 5. These worldly friends forsake vsus in time of triall; when we most need their helpe. bonds, are not to be esteemed, for when the bonds are broken the friends are scattered; like chaffe or some such light matter, which lieth with the good wheate in the sunshine and calme, but separateth it selfe and fleeth away when the least blast of wind bloweth: or like vntounto the reed which standeth vpright, and seemeth stiffe and strong in faire weather, but boweth and bendeth any way when the storme commeth: so these worldly friends whilest the sun of prosperitie shineth, do adhere vntounto vsus and seeme firme and constant, as though they would neuer leaue vsus; but when the least tempest of trouble commeth, and when the world seemeth to frowne, they either hang downe the head and will not see vsus, or frame idle excuses why they cannot helpe vsus; or like Iobs miserable comforters they make pouerty a crime, and argue and inferre our guiltinesse and faultines, because we are fallen into this miserie and affliction. And therefore let vsus not make choice of such friends if wee hauehave them not, nor trust vntounto them if wee hauehave them; for like the reed they will bow and flee from vsus, when being almost drowned in miserie, we labour to catch hold of them, or else breaking in our hands will wound vsus, when as wee rest and relie vponupon them: or finally like the brier they will fleece vsus of our wool when we flee vntounto them for succour: or like an old ruinous house, when we come vntounto them for shelter and protection against the storme, they will fall vponupon vsus and beate vsus to the ground with their oppressions. Let vsus therefore follow the aduice of the sonne of Syrach: If (saith hee) thou gettest a Eccles. 6. 7. 8. 9. &c.friend, proue him first, and be not hastie to credit him: For some man is a friend for his owne occasion, and will not abide in the day of thy trouble, &c. Againe, some friend is but a companion at thy table, and in the day of thine affliction hee continueth not, but in thy prosperity he wil be as thou thy selfe, & will vse liberty ouer thy seruants; if thou be brought low he will be against theè, and will hide himselfe from thy face. Depart from thine enemies, and beware of thy friends.
Yea, these worldly friends do not only become in time of§. Sect. 6. Worldly friends in time of aduersitie oftentimes become enemies. Eccles. 6. 9. aduersitie, as vnprofitable as strangers, but also as hurtfull as enemies, their kindnesse and louelove degenerating into malice and hatred: and this the former author also obserued. There is some friend, saith he, that turneth to emnitie, and taketh part against thee, and in contention he will declare thy shame. And in another place: There is some companion, which in prosperitie reioyceth with his friend, but in the time of trouble he is against Cap. 37. 4.him. Of which the Prophet Dauid hauing experience, complaineth, My familiar friend (saith he) whom I trusted, which did eate of my bread, hath lift vp his heele against me. So that inPsal. 41. 9. this worldly friendship the prouerb truelie taketh place; Too much friendship maketh way for hatred; yea, in truth there is no emnity so dangerous, as that which hath it foundationAmicitia nimia facit odij locum. vponupon the ruines of louelove; and as in nature, the purest substance is turned into the most loathsome corruption; so the hottest louelove, which hath no other ground but carnall respects, degenerates oftentimes into the most deadly hatred, and hurtfull emnitie. For being priuie to all their friends secrets and counsels, and well acquainted with their state and condition, they are the more enabled thereby to doe them the greater mischiefe when their louelove is turned to spite and malice. Euen as a traitor is much more dangerous then a professed enemie, and a fugitiue souldier more pernicious in time of warre, then he that assaulteth with open violence. ToInimicus vitari potest, amicus non potest si insidiare velit, &c. Amb. offic. lib. 3. cap. 13. which purpose one saith: that an enemy may be shunned, but a friend cannot, if he meaneth to be treacherous; and we may easilie take heed of him, vntounto whom wee hauehave not committed our counsels, but it is scarce possible to preuent his mischiefes, to whom we hauehave entrusted them.
But as this worldly friendship is very dangerous and hurtfull§. Sect. 7. Worldly friēdship pernicious to our soules. to our outward estate when it breaketh off; so it is much more pernicious to our soules, and spirituall estate whilest it lasteth and continueth; as being one of the most forcible meanes, which either Satan or the world hath to poison and corrupt vsus with sinne; and one of the most pearcing arrowes in al their quiuer of tentations, wherewith they inflict deepe and incurable wounds into our consciences: whilest on the one side we frequent their company, see their euill examples, heare their wicked speeches and discourses, and giuegive them audience, when as they allure and intice vsus vntounto sinne; and on the other side are readie to yeeld vntounto them in all their desires, for feare of displeasing them; and to like of all they doe, because wee affect their persons. In regard whereof one saith, that that friendship is very harmefull, which Noxiae sunt amicitiae quae cum malitia contrahuntur, &c. Basil. Hom. 9. de ira.is contracted with maliciousnesse. For it is the law and condition of this friendship, by a similitude and likenesse of nature to infuse wickednesse into those who are in amitie with them. For as in pestilent places, the aire stealingly and by little and little attracted, doth infect the bodie with an hidden disease; so through wicked acquaintance, we sucke in manifold euils, although wee doe not presently perceiue the discommoditie of it. In which respect wee are to contemne, yea, to hate this friendship of wicked worldlings, as being but like sugar, which inticeth vsus to drinke the poison of sinne; and the diuels most preuailing orator, in perswading vsus to neglect all dutie, and to set our hearts open for the entertaining of sinne.
And thus hauehave I shewed the manifold euils which come§. Sect. 8. Their obiection answered, who say they hauehave had no hurt by the friendship of the wicked. vntounto vsus, through the familiar society & friendship of wicked worldlings. Against which, if any shal obiect their owne experience, namely, that they hauehave frequented such company, and intertained such louelove and amitie, and yet feele themselues neuer the worse: to such I answere, that either they are so bad alreadie, that they cannot be made much worse; or hauehave but a while bin lincked in this fellowship, and so the poison hath not as yet his operation; or if longer time they hauehave consorted with them, and yet feele no ill, it is because wickednesse hath growne on them by degrees, and hath therefore through their negligence bin insensible, they hauingSanè nemo repente fit turpissimus, et vix aliquis in hunc affectum nequitiae nisi praua consuetudine pertransiuit. Bernard. declamat. in Mat. 19. rather declined by little and little, then suddenly fallen into these mischiefes. But let not this incourage them in their course, their case herein being common with those who are deepely plunged into sinne; For there is not any man that is suddenly outragiouslie wicked, but commeth to the height of this diuellish habit, by degrees, and through a continuall euill custome. Great floods doe not suddenly rise, but after much dropping; mettals are not presently melted, as soone as they are put into the furnace; greene wood doth not forthwith flame out, as soone as it is laid on the fire: but yet within a while with much and often raining the waters arise, with great and continuall heate the mettals melt, and the greene wood after some weake resistance is burned and consumed. And so although the fire of Gods grace burning in vsus is not quenched at first (as it were) with this water of worldly wickednesse; yea rather perhaps it may through opposition, make it to gather his strength, and burne more hotly; but yet if it be much and often cast vponupon it, it will in the end put it cleane out. Although (saith one) thou were made of iron, Isidor. lib. 2. soliloqu.yet standing continually before a great fire, thou wouldest at last be dissolued and softned; and he that still dwelleth at the next dore to danger, cannot long be safe. By assiduitie a man is often deliuered ouer as captiue to sin, and oftentimes familiaritie hath intangled men, and ministred vntounto them occasion of sinning; and what the euill at the first could not, that lingring assi…uitie and custome hath atchieued. At the first, it may be a Christian mans heart riseth, and his soule abhorreth the wickednesse which he seeth committed euen by his dearest friends, but at the second time he is not so much mooued, and when he is a little inured thereunto, the louelove of his friend weakening the hatred which he beareth the sinne, he is content to winke at it, and then to tolerate it, and after to like it, and by and by to imitate it, and within a while after to approoue, defend, and boast of it. At the first hearing of blasphemie, ribauldrie and corrupt communication, it may bee for the present wee feele not our soules hurt and infected, but yet (as one saith) it leaueth seeds in the mind, and euen after we are departed from Senec. epist. 123.them, euill sprouteth vp. And as those who heare pleasing musick, hauehave, when the melodie is ceased, the tunes still sounding in their eares; so the talke of wicked men doth longer continue with vsus, then it is in hearing: and it is not easie to forget a sound which is so sweet to our corrupt flesh. Neither doth the lingring growth of our corruptions, which by degrees creep vponupon vsus lessen our hurt and danger, but rather much increaseth them, seeing it ouercommeth vsus, before wee feele our selues incountred, and inthralleth vsus in the deepe dungeon of sinne, before we perceiue our selues taken prisoners. As therefore those diseases which grow vponupon vsus by degrees vponupon small and not apparant causes, are of all others most dangerous and incurable: so these spiritual diseases of the soule, which steale vponupon vsus by little and little, are not easily cured, and most endanger vsus, because they are not discerned, vntill custome hath giuen them full possession, and as it were, turned them into nature. And as men are no lesse fearefull of a lingring consumption, then of a hot burning ague, because it doth more certainly destroy vsus, though it doth not assault vsus with like violence; so that corruption, which stealingly infecteth vsus through the familiaritie and neere friendship which we hauehave with a ciuil worldling, doth oftentimes more endanger vsus, then all the violent prouocations of men notoriously wicked, whereby they labour suddenly, and all at once to plunge vsus headlong into wickednes.
The end of the first Booke.