Ruths Recompense, Commentary on Ruth · Chapter 3 · Verse 1
Verſe 1. Then Naomi, her mother in law, ſaid vntounto her, My daughter, ſhall I not ſeeke reſt for thee, that it may be well with thee?
THis is Naomi her reſolution to prouide a marriage for her daughter in law: it is propounded with an interrogation, to ſhew her full determination. Here note who reſolueth, for whom, and what it is, and the end why.
Then Naomi, her mother in law, ſaid vntounto her, My daughter.] Here Naomi deuiſeth how to requite Ruth her louelove and labour, which is by reſoluing to get a match for her; and this ſhe doth, as a mother doth for her daughter, after that Ruth had ſo laboured, and now was at reſt with her in the houſe. Of the terme daughter before, and alſo of thankfulneſſe, how good turnes ſhould be requited, (which here is Naomies purpoſe) I hauehave ſpoken at large.
Shall I not ſeeke?] As if ſhe had ſaid; Know it, my daughter, that I am reſolued to ſeeke reſt for thee. It is the Parents dutie to prouide matches for 1. Cor. 7. 36. Gen. 2. & 24. & 28.their children. So did God the generall Father, for his ſonne Adam, Abraham for Iſaac, and Iſaac for Iacob; for children want iudgement to make their choiſe, and are led more by fond affection, or by ſtrength of luſt, which is worſe, then by reaſon and good diſcretion: but yeeld they were wiſe in their choiſe, yet are they not ſo to doe it without conſent of Parents, but ſhould doe as Samſon did, who intreated his father andIudg. 14. 1, 2. mother to get him for a wife, the maid which he liked. Let therefore Parents hauehave a care of this dutie, and betimes prouide for their children, as they ſhall ſee iuſt cauſe, and ſo make choiſe, as one may be a mutuall helpe to another; for this end let them obſerue their natures, like ſomewhat in yeeres, in conditions, and body in ſome ſort, that one may bee pleaſed with the other: then know their religion and vertues, that they may bee of one heart towards God; ſo ſhall they louelove one another much better, pray for one another, and hauehave a fellow-feeling in eueryevery condition; yea, this will ſweeten their eſtate vntounto them. When they hauehave noted well theſe two, if with good natures and graces they can procure goods, it ſhall not bee amiſſe to helpe to beare the burthen of marriage. Such Parents are here to bee reprooued, which neglect this dutie, either of careleſneſſe, wanting true louelove; or of wicked couetouſneſſe, for that they are not willing to ſpare any thing from themſelues, though yet they hauehave ſufficient.
Reſt for thee?] So ſhee calleth the married eſtate.foreign of foreign placidè quicuit. The word is, a place of reſt to ſettle in: Marriage eſtate is an eſtate of reſt: ſo heere called, and in chap. 1. 9. in reſpect of the mind of all ſuch as deſire marriage, and hauehave not the gift of continencie, they are reſtleſſe. It is called therefore p…rtum in…entutis, becauſe youth are toſſed by luſtfull thoughts, as the ſhip with the waues of the Sea, till they be married. Mulieri (ſaith one) nulla est requies, donec nupſerit; It may alſo be called reſt, for the contentment and delight which one ought to hauehave in the other, and in the bleſſing of poſteritie, by the mercy of God. Seeing it is ſo called, let the married parties labor to make it an eſtate of reſt and peace: and the meanes bee theſe: Firſt, to louelove one another intirely: to worke this, ſee the good things in one another, and couer the euill, and winke at defects, and bee as blind that way after marriage, as they bee before. Secondly, to performe duties of louelove one to another chearefully: ſo they hauehave promiſed, ſo God commands them, and ſo the mutuall good of both requireth it, and true louelove will doe it. Thirdly, to beare one anothers infirmities patiently, for they bee one; elſe this will make them two, if they cannot beare with one another, and forbeare too, to keepe peace. Fourthly, to take their outward eſtate of God thankfully, and liue in this reſpect contentedly; let them not thinke how better they might hauehave bin; for ſuch diſcontented thoughts breed but ſorrowes, and help nothing at all to quietneſſe, but rather to encreaſe diſcord. Fifthly, to pray daily one for another, and that feruently, that God would remoue the hinderances of louelove, or giuegive wiſdome & patience to beare the ſame. Sixthly, and laſtly, in eueryevery diſcontentment to lay the fault rather vponupon our ſelfe, then to caſt it vponupon the other; let the huſband thinke rather the cauſe to bee in himſelfe, then in his wife; ſo the wife is rather to blame her ſelfe, then her husband. If thus the married would doe, faults would be ſoone amended, and iarres preuented: and the failing in theſe things, is the cauſe that marriage is not the eſtate of reſt, but a miſerable reſtleſſe condition, and that through their owne ſinnes and corruptions.
That it may be well with thee.] Marriage is for the well-being of ſuch as enter into that holy: eſtate. The husband is for a guide to the woman, and the woman is ordained for a meet helpe for theGen. 2. 18. man. And therefore this is for confutation of thoſe, which ſimply preferre ſingle life before marriage; nay, doth not God ſay, It is not good for man to be alone? Marriage is called an honorable eſtate, and is commended farre before the other life in Scripture. It maketh two one, it is the holy meanes of a lawfull poſteritie, and it is the eſtate in which the moſt holieſt hauehave liued, and in which Chriſt himſelfe would bee borne, though conceiued by the holy Ghoſt, and borne of his Mother a Virgin. Saint Paul indeed commendeth ſingle life; but not ſimply, but with reſpect vntounto the then preſent times, full of troubles and perſecutions. If Marriage bee then for wellbeing, let Parents take care to prouide for their children matches, fit and commodious for Religion, for conditions and meanes of maintenance, for ſo ſhall it be well with them. And let ſuch as be married, ſo make a right vſe of marriage, that it may be for their well-being, and the bettring of themſelues; which ſtands in three things: Firſt, in the mutuall ſocietie and neere fellowſhip of one another; for two are better then one. Secondly, in preuenting thereby incontinencie, and the ſinfull luſts of the fleſh. Thirdly, in begetting an holy poſteritie, training them vp in the inſtruction and information of the Lord, in whom their Parents doe liue, after they be dead.