Ruths Recompense, Commentary on Ruth · Chapter 1 · Verse 13
Verſe 13. Would yee tarry for them, till they were growne? would yee ſtay for them from hauing husbands? nay, my daughters: for it grieueth me much for your ſakes, that the hand of the Lord is gone out againſt me.
NAomi here diſſwadeth them from ſtaying for husbands by her, if it were granted that now ſhee had borne ſonnes; and hauing thus ſpoken, ſhee breaketh forth into a ſorrowfull complaint of her inabilitie to doe them good, for their ſakes. The diſſwaſion is ſet out by a double interrogation, for more vehemencie of ſpeech, and by an anſwer made thereto. In the complaint ſhee ſheweth her griefe, and that for whoſe ſake chiefely, and how it came vponupon her.
Would yee tarry for them, till they were growne? As if ſhee had ſaid, If I had now yong ſonnes, you could not marry them till they were of ſufficient yeeres, they muſt be growne vp to marriage before they doe marry: Marriage is for them that are growne vp for it, and are marriageable. God, when he made our firſt parents, made them of yeeres fit for procreation of children before he marryed them. And this is to be obſerued for the due accompliſhment of marriage, and for reuerence to Gods ordinance; which checketh thoſe parents, who for other ends then the ends of marriage, doe match their children together before they be marriageable. Here parents abuſe marriage; for this is no coniunction for procreation of children, nor to auoid fornication: theſe parents take away their childrens liberty, which is to marry, or not to marry when they come to yeeres of diſcretion: they are cruell and mercileſſe parents, who bind their children in an vnſeparable knot and indiſſoluble bond, before they vnderſtand what they doe: ſuch matches are commonly curſed of God, one forſaking another when they come to yeeres, or hating one another, liuing in the gall of bitterneſſe all their dayes, and ſo parents expectation is fruſtrate, and children vndone, with ſorrow to friends on all ſides. A iuſt puniſhment of God, and reward of their ſinne.
Would yee ſtay for them from hauing husbands?] As if ſhe had ſaid, You are yong women, & there are men now fit husbands for you, it is not meet you ſhould therefore ſtay ſo long for little children, and ſo be vnfitly matched with them ſo yong, and you ſo old. It is not good for ſuch as intend to marry, to deferre off too long. This is it which Naomi here teacheth her daughters, and this counſell is good, if the parties cannot abſtaine, and that fit matches be offered; let them yeld to the good hand of Gods prouidence, and not refuſe an honeſt offer, either of pride, or of fooliſh fantaſie, or of ſome nicety, or other light and idle womaniſh reaſon, againſt good reaſon and ſound perſwaſion of godly and wiſe friends.
Nay, my daughters.] This anſwer ſheweth Naomi her meaning in the former interrogations, that ſhe could not approue of their deferring off to marry, but that being yong, they ſhould not refuſe to marry againe, when God ſhould ſend them fit husbands. A godly and wiſe mother in law; like Naomi, cannot onelyonly be willing, but alſo will perſwade her children in law ſhould marry againe. For they know, this liberty is graunted them of God, and in their owne conſcience they know it reaſonable, and perhaps in others of neceſſity. Shee was not like thoſe mothers in law, which after the death of their owne children, cannot endure to heare of the ſecond marriage of their children in law, whether ſonnes or daughters.
For it grieueth me much.] Here is the reaſon giuen, why ſhe willeth them to returne, and to take husbands againe, euen for the griefe of her heart; for that ſeeing them as poore widdowes as her ſelfe, and remembring her ſonnes, and how little ſhe could doe for them, ſhe heauily ſuſtained the griefe, and therefore perſwaded them to take husbands againe, in whom they might hauehave comfort. Note here, how the moſt godly ſometime do take their afflictions very heauily: as Naomi here, ſo Iob, Chap. 3. Ieremy, Chap. 20. 9, 12. which commeth through weakeneſſe of faith, want of patience, want of humility, through alſo the ſtrength of corruption and the aggrauating of the affliction, euer looking vponupon it, but not weighing the will of God, the neceſſity of the croſſe, and the good which might come thereby. Well, yet if the beſt may be much caſt downe, then let not ſuch as be free, not vnderunder the croſſe, not knowing how they can beare it, cenſure others for their weakeneſſe vnderunder the burthen: but rather take notice thereof, and be a ſtaffe of comfort vntounto them, helpe to beare the burthen with them, and pray for their patience.
For your ſakes.] Afflictions are the more grieuous for friends wrapped therein, ſo as one cannot well helpe another. Naomi was greatly afflicted, but the more (ſhee ſaith) for her daughters miſerie with her, who loſing her ſonnes, made alſo them poore widowes. Abimelechs deſtruction encreaſed Dauids Pſalme 52. 1. King. 17. 20, 21.ſorrowes and troubles. Eliah not a little grieued for the widowes ſorrow with whom he ſoiourned:Acts and Mon. pag. 77 5. a. and ſo was Luther for the Duke of Saxonie: and the reaſon hereof is true louelove, which taketh to heart a friends affliction in their owne troubles, as Dauid did Abiathars, 1. Sam. 22. 22. This grace of true friendſhip is much to be wiſhed: for men now a dayes care not much for their friends miſerie, if they be in proſperity, or if in aduerſity with them, how they themſelues may get out, though they leaue their friends, as a pawne for themſelues: yea ſuch villanie is in ſome men, that they will purpoſely bring their friends into miſery, to doe themſelues a pleaſure; coozen them, to inrich themſelues; ouerthrow them, to ſet vp themſelues.
That the hand of the Lord.] Thus ſhe calleth her affliction, the hand of the Lord, becauſe all afflictions come by the power and prouidence of God, as by an hand vponupon vsus, Iob, 1. 21. and 16. 12. Lam. 1. 12 17. Amos. 3. 6. and 4. 6, 7, 11. 2. Chro. 15. 6. Eſay 45, 6, 7. For afflictions come not out of the duſt, neither do troubles ſpring out of the ground, Iob 5. 6. Let then all afflictions bee acknowledged to be Gods hand, not as chance with the Philiſtims, not of the Deuill, witches, and ill inſtruments. If we acknowledge them with Iob from God, we will goe to him, humble our ſelues before him, pray for pardon, and deliuerance by him, as who onelyonly can deliuer vsus: yea, this will make vsus patient vnderunder the croſſe, this will worke ſome contentment, and ſay, It is the Lord, let him do what ſeemeth him good; This will make vsus quiet towards the ill inſtruments, as Dauid was towards Saul and towards Shemei: This will comfort vsus vnderunder the affliction, when we know it to be Gods hand, and that out of his fatherly mercy he will lay no more vponupon vsus, then we ſhall be able to beare.
Is gone out againſt mee. This good woman applieth the whole croſſe to her ſelfe. The godly in cōmon calamities take themſelues to be eſpecially chaſtiſed; they put not off the cauſe to others, but take it to themſelues, as Dauid did, 1. Chr. 21. 17. 2. Sam. 24. 27. They thinke vponupon their own ſinnes, and not on other mens miſdeeds. This is that which humbleth them, and this is it which would humble vsus: which grace we muſt labour for.