Works of Joseph Hall, Section 4
SECT. IV.
I Finde on the hand two vniuerſall enemies of Tranquillity;Enemies of inward peace diuided into their rankes. Conſcience of euill done, Senſe or feare of euill ſufferred. The former in one word, we call ſinnes, the latter Croſſes. The firſt of theſe muſt be quite taken away, the ſecond duely tempered ere the heart can be at reſt. For firſt, how can that man be at peace, that is at variance with God and himſelfe? How ſhould peace be Gods gift, if it could be without him, if it could be againſt him? It is the profeſſion of ſinne, although faire-ſpoken at the firſt cloſing, to be a perpetuall make-bate betwixt God and man, betwixt a man and himſelfe. And this enmitie, though it doe not continually ſhew it ſelfe, (as the mortalleſt enemies are not alwaies in pitched fields one againſt the other) for that the conſcience is not euer clamorous, but ſome while is ſilent, other-whiles with ſtill murmurings bewraies his miſl…kes,The torment of an euill conſcience. yet doth euermore worke ſecret vnquietneſſe to the heart. The guilty man may hauehave a ſeeming truce, a true peace he cannot hauehave. Looke vponupon the face of the guilty heart, and thou ſhalt ſee it pale and ghaſtly; the ſmiles and laughters faint and heartleſſe, the ſpeeches doubtfull, and full of abrupt ſtops and vnſeaſonable turnings; the purpoſes and motions vnſteddy, and ſauouring of much diſtraction, arguing plainly that ſinne is not ſo ſmooth at her firſt motions, as turbulent afterwards: hence are thoſe vaine wearyings of places and companies together with our ſelues; that the galled ſoule doth after the wont of ſicke Patients ſeeke refreſhing in variety; and after many toſſed and turned ſides, complaines of remedileſſe and vnabated torment. Nero after ſo much innocent bloud, may change his bed-chamber, but his Fiends euer attend him, euer are within him, and are as parts of himſelfe. Alas what auailes it to ſeeke outward releefes, when thou haſt thine executioner within thee? If thou couldeſt ſhift from thy ſelfe, thou mighteſt hauehave ſome hope of eaſe; now thou ſhalt neuer want furies ſo long as thou haſt thy ſelfe. Yea, what if thou wouldeſt runne from thy ſelfe? Thy ſoule may flie from thy bodie, thy conſcience will not flie from thy ſoule, nor thy ſinne from thy conſcience. Some men indeed in the bitterneſſe of theſe pangs of ſinne, like vntounto thoſe fondly impatient fiſhes, that leape out of the panne into the flame, hauehave leapt out of this priuate hell that is in themſelues, into the common pit, chooſing to aduenture vponupon the future paines that they hauehave feared, rather than to endure the preſent horrors they hauehave felt: wherein what hauehave they gained, but to that hell which was within them, a ſecond hell without? The conſcience leaues not where the Fiends begin, but both ioyne together in torture. But there are ſome firme and obdurate fore-heads, whoſe reſolution can laugh their ſinnes out of countenance. There are ſo large and able gorges, as that they can ſwallow and digeſt bloudy murders, without complaint, who, with the ſame hands which they hauehave ſince their laſt meale embrued in bloud, can freely carue to themſelues large morſels at the next ſitting.The ioy and peace of the guilty but diſſembled. Beleeueſt thou that ſuch a mans heart laughs with his face? will not he dare to bee an Hypocrite, that durſt bee a villaine? Theſe glow-wormes, when a night of ſorrow compaſſes them, make a lightſome and fiery ſhew of ioy, when if thou preſſe them, thou findeſt nothing but a cold and crude moiſture. Knoweſt thou not that there are thoſe which count it no ſhame to ſinne, yet count it a ſhame to be checked with remorſe, eſpecially ſo as others eies may deſcrie? to whom repentance ſeemes baſe-mindedneſſe, vnworthy of him that profeſſes wiſdome and valout. Such a man can grieue when none ſees it, but himſelfe can laugh when others ſee it, himſelfe feeles not. Aſſure thy ſelfe that mans heart bleedeth, when his face counterfeits a ſmile; he weares out many waking houres, when thou thinkeſt he reſteth: yea as his thoughts afford him not ſleepe, ſo his very ſleepe affords him not reſt, but while his ſenſes are tyed vp, his ſinne is looſe; repreſenting it ſelfe to him in the vglieſt ſhape, and frighting him with horrible and helliſh dreames. And if perhaps cuſtome hath bred a careleſneſſe in him, (as wee ſee that vſuall whipping makes the childe not care for the rod) yet an vnwonted extremity of the blow ſhall fetch bloud of the ſoule, and make the backe that is moſt hardened, ſenſible of ſmart: and the further the blow is fetcht through intermiſſion of remorſe, the harder it muſt needs alight. Therefore I may confidently tell the careleſſe ſinner, as that bold Tragedian ſaid to his great Pompey: The time ſhall come wherein thou ſhalt fetch deepe ſighes, and therefore ſhalt ſorrow deſperately, becauſe thou ſorrowedſt not ſooner. The fire of the conſcience may lie for a time ſmothered with a pyle of greene wood, that it cannot bee diſcerned, whoſe moiſture when once it hath maſtered, it ſends vp ſo much greater flame, by how much it had greater reſiſtance. Hope not then to ſtop the mouth of thy conſcience from exclaiming, whiles thy ſinne continues; that endeuour is both vaine and hurtfull; So I hauehave ſeene them that hauehave ſtopt the noſthrill for bleeding, in hope to ſtay the iſſue, when the bloud hindered in his former courſe, hath broken out of the mouth, or found way downe into the ſtomacke. The conſcience is not pacificable, while ſinne is within to vex it: no more than angry ſwelling can ceaſe throbbing and aching, whiles the thorne or the corrupted matter lies rotting vnderneath. Time, that remedies all other euills of the minde, increaſeth this, which like to bodily diſeaſes proues worſe with continuance, and growes vponupon vsus with our age.